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1
00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:32,625
- Hallo? - Hallo?
Yes? - Sorry to disturb you.
2
00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:35,959
Am I speaking to the switchboard
of the illustrious company...
3
00:00:36,708 --> 00:00:40,417
- ..ltalpetrolcemetermo
textilfarmometalchemicals? - Yes.
4
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:44,084
My name is Mrs Fantozzi Pina...
5
00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:48,000
..the wife of accountant
Fantozzi Ugo, an employee of yours.
6
00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:53,250
No phone calls allowed
except for notifications of death.
7
00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:58,250
Wait, I would humbly like
to remark,...
8
00:00:58,624 --> 00:01:03,459
..that I haven't had any news
of my husband for the last 18 days.
9
00:01:04,042 --> 00:01:10,625
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I'm starting to get worried.
10
00:01:10,917 --> 00:01:14,292
- Hold on.
- Thank you, miss.
11
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:19,917
That's very kind of you.
They will find out about daddy.
12
00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:24,875
Is a certain accountant Fantozzi
part of our staff?
13
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,250
I can look at the personnel office.
Fabriani, Facchetti...
14
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:32,375
...Falabrino, Zarotti, Battifer,
who messed up the files?
15
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:37,250
General Archives here:
found! ID 7820l8-a.
16
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:39,875
Janitor? We need the master key!
17
00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:48,750
That's his punch card,
only the entrance is clocked in.
18
00:01:48,999 --> 00:01:52,500
Notify the office
of lost employees.
19
00:02:48,584 --> 00:02:50,667
What was behind this wall?
20
00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:55,084
The old toilets. They walled them up
20 days ago.
21
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,209
Break through this wall.
22
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,709
- Come on, help him!
23
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:32,917
- Do you feel sick?
- How did it happen?
24
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:43,000
- Thanks. - How're you? - Perfect,
just a slight appetite.
25
00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:48,417
Bravo!
26
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:55,209
7 C.
27
00:03:55,874 --> 00:03:58,750
Miss.
Ok, 13 M.
28
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:06,417
- Water, miss.
29
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:12,250
- Miss Silvani, I'm back.
- Yes, I know.
30
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:21,334
- Accountant, I'm back.
- A 6. - Hit.
31
00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:23,917
- Is it a cruiser?
- Yes.
32
00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:27,334
P 12
33
00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:41,709
- Ah! - Carboni?
- Were you hiding? - Ouch!
34
00:04:42,041 --> 00:04:44,084
Good morning, Miss Silvani.
35
00:05:02,999 --> 00:05:08,167
- Fantozzi? - Ouch!
- Are you hurt? - Not at all.
36
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:12,584
Since you already have so many files,
why don't you take mine too?
37
00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:16,084
- It's my pleasure.
- Thanks.
38
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:36,875
In order to stamp his punch card
exactly at 8:30
39
00:05:37,499 --> 00:05:41,792
Fantozzi used to wake up at 06:15.
That was 16 years ago.
40
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:46,209
Today, after many experiments
and improvements,...
41
00:05:46,334 --> 00:05:51,042
he wakes up at 07: 51
42
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:54,792
stretching the limits of human possibilities.
43
00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:58,084
Everything is calculated
in split seconds:
44
00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:00,959
5 seconds to come to.
45
00:06:01,042 --> 00:06:05,750
4 seconds to bear his wife's appearance...
46
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,959
...over 6 seconds to ask himself,
as usual, and with no answer,...
47
00:06:09,042 --> 00:06:14,792
...why he married that
domesticated creature in the first place
48
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,125
3 seconds to drink his wife's
abominable coffee
49
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:22,875
...at 3000 degrees Fahrenheit.
50
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:27,500
8 to 10 seconds to
cool off his burning tongue.
51
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,709
2 1/2 seconds to kiss
his daughter Mariangela.
52
00:06:57,042 --> 00:07:00,125
Simultaneous combing
and latte-drinking
53
00:07:04,917 --> 00:07:09,042
Brushing teeth with mint toothpaste
and coffee flavor,...
54
00:07:10,959 --> 00:07:16,792
...causing a physiological response
requiring another 6 seconds European time.
55
00:07:16,874 --> 00:07:19,500
...3, 2, 1!
56
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:24,459
Now 3 minutes to get dressed,...
57
00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:28,500
...and run to the bus stop
for the 08:01.
58
00:07:35,541 --> 00:07:38,875
Barring unforeseen consequences.
59
00:07:43,541 --> 00:07:45,584
Switch!
60
00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:58,959
We'll never make it.
61
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:03,542
- So?
- I'll catch the bus from above.
62
00:08:03,791 --> 00:08:07,584
- No! - No, daddy.
- Yes, I'll jump from the balcony.
63
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:14,334
- I'll save 2 minutes.
- You never did it before, you're not ready!
64
00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:19,167
I've never done it,
but I've always dreamt of doing it.
65
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:28,375
- Ugo! - What is he doing?
- He's catching the bus from above.
66
00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:42,000
- Come on, accountant!
- Thanks.
67
00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:27,084
Don't push!
68
00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:31,750
What are you doing?
69
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:39,000
- What happened?
- No, not me!
70
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,584
- Who was the first one?
- He was!
71
00:09:49,459 --> 00:09:55,959
Wait, I need to go to work,
I have to punch my card.
72
00:10:09,499 --> 00:10:12,792
- I'm late.
- Wait.
73
00:10:12,874 --> 00:10:18,250
- You must sign, it's your responsibility.
- Do you have a pen? - No.
74
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:22,292
I'll sign with my blood. Goodbye.
75
00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:35,709
- Come on, Fantozzi, you can make it!
- Come on. - You've arrived.
76
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,459
Once more, Fantozzi!
77
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:42,750
Come on, last effort.
78
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:49,542
Don't help him or he'll be disqualified.
79
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:52,959
- Get up, you'll make it!
- Don't give up.
80
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:59,792
- You're almost there.
- Come on! - Come on, Fantozzi.
81
00:11:00,959 --> 00:11:06,292
Just 100 meters
and you're there. Come on, Fantozzi.
82
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,917
Come on, Fantozzi!
83
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:16,750
AlÄ! AlÄ! AlÄ!
84
00:11:28,791 --> 00:11:35,375
The exit looked like the starting line
of the 100 meter Olympic championships.
85
00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:21,917
Miss Silvani was elected Miss 40th floor
for the second time.
86
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:26,875
Fantozzi had been desperately
courting her for 7 years.
87
00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:33,500
- Fantozzi, what are you doing here?
- Nothing, I need a file.
88
00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:36,459
- Miss Silvani?
- Yes?
89
00:12:36,542 --> 00:12:40,750
I would like to give you a dual color
band for your adding machine.
90
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,834
I know they don't give them out here...
91
00:12:43,916 --> 00:12:50,667
How nice! Fantozzi,
you're an angel.
92
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:54,375
Miss, I...
if it doesn't bother you...
93
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:58,834
- Miss Silvani?
- What?
94
00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:02,417
- Did you see the sun
shining... - Yes, nice.
95
00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:06,542
- Are you leaving? - I have an urgent file.
- I'll do that.
96
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:09,000
I have to go to the bathroom.
97
00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:15,125
During the funeral of the mother
of earl Lamberti,...
98
00:13:15,209 --> 00:13:19,084
...Mega-natural Managing Director,
deceased at 126 years of age.
99
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:26,167
Fantozzi was in complete panic.
100
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,959
Miss, may I come with you?
101
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:33,875
Thanks, but I'll take the tram
with surveyor Carboni.
102
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:37,542
- I insist!
- But I promised him!
103
00:13:37,625 --> 00:13:44,792
- I have a car.
- Well... are you taking me home? - Yes.
104
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,000
We should have talked about it today.
105
00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:51,667
I have a very important meeting.
Where are you going?
106
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:58,000
- Please, miss. - Also the flowers.
Ouch! Open! - God!
107
00:13:58,209 --> 00:14:03,750
- Fantozzi, are you kidding?
Do you want me to die? - My mistake.
108
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:06,875
A bad mistake.
109
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:10,500
Which one is yours? This piece of junk?
110
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:14,375
- The hearse was better.
Let's go. - Please.
111
00:14:14,459 --> 00:14:16,500
My hand!
112
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:22,584
Get on the other side.
113
00:14:24,041 --> 00:14:28,417
What's up?
All right, I got it.
114
00:14:29,584 --> 00:14:35,834
- Are you hurt?
- No, just my finger got smashed.
115
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:41,125
- Be careful I am closing.
- Wait, I'll do it.
116
00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:54,250
Excuse me, I slightly smashed...
117
00:14:54,999 --> 00:14:58,125
- It could have been worse.
- Much worse.
118
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:03,125
See the countess?
Today we are alive, and tomorrow we are not.
119
00:15:03,624 --> 00:15:09,209
"Enjoy today, because you never
know about tomorrow"
120
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:15,042
- Nice poem, is it yours?
- Yes, something from my youth.
121
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:18,750
What does it mean?
122
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:23,375
Let's pick up the spring flowers
before the winter comes.
123
00:15:23,459 --> 00:15:25,959
- So...
- Go on.
124
00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:30,875
May I have the honor to invite you
for lunch at "Gigi the fucker"?
125
00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:37,042
- It's a bit late...
- You're busy.
126
00:15:38,249 --> 00:15:41,750
- Ok... I accept.
- You accept?
127
00:16:02,749 --> 00:16:08,167
- Ouch!
- You assholes.
128
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:36,834
- Get out, you turd.
- Show them who you are!
129
00:16:50,624 --> 00:16:53,959
- Now who's the asshole?!
- Me! Me!
130
00:16:59,999 --> 00:17:07,292
- Mind what you say!
- Do something. - Just a moment.
131
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:16,542
- Punch them.
- Say it again, if you have the guts.
132
00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:20,792
If you dare to shout I...
133
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:23,875
What's up?
134
00:17:34,666 --> 00:17:41,125
- I think everything is clear,
I would like to go. - Where?
135
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:48,167
My hand! My hand, my hand!
136
00:17:48,999 --> 00:17:55,417
What do you want now?
It's all the lady's fault!
137
00:17:55,624 --> 00:17:58,084
That stupid lady's fault!
138
00:18:01,292 --> 00:18:05,334
You are disgusting.
Treating a woman that way.
139
00:18:05,874 --> 00:18:09,625
You know that was just a trick
in order to avoid...
140
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:13,584
..a rough fight.
141
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:18,459
- Thank you.
- What are you doing? Miss?
142
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,417
Miss, what are you doing?
143
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:26,959
- Miss, and our lunch?
- I'm not hungry anymore.
144
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,250
I booked.
145
00:18:53,249 --> 00:18:56,417
Excuse me? Are you insured?
146
00:18:58,874 --> 00:19:01,209
- Pina?
- Yes, one moment.
147
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:05,125
I just wanted to tell you that
you are the most important woman...
148
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:08,959
- ...and the most beautiful I have ever...
- Oh, Ugo.
149
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,125
Damn...
150
00:19:14,041 --> 00:19:16,084
Good morning.
151
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:56,875
- Damn. - Good morning.
- How are you, Fantozzi?
152
00:19:57,291 --> 00:20:00,959
- Do you have change?
- Good morning, director. Sure.
153
00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:04,375
One moment...
Here it is, my last one.
154
00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:09,125
I tried before and
it doesn't work.
155
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,167
In every social circle,
there's always a certain person...
156
00:20:27,249 --> 00:20:30,500
...who organizes the
recreational events.
157
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:34,834
In Fantozzi's society
this was Filini.
158
00:20:34,917 --> 00:20:39,084
New year's eve dinner,
Mario Canello orchestra,
159
00:20:39,166 --> 00:20:41,917
...Filini organization.
160
00:20:41,999 --> 00:20:44,375
Participation is mandatory.
It only costs 5000 liras.
161
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:48,959
- I don't know... - I've already
signed you up, and your wife too.
162
00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:54,792
- And also the monkey... Albertina...
- Mariangela. My daughter.
163
00:20:54,874 --> 00:20:56,542
Yeah, sure, she doesn't need to pay.
164
00:20:56,624 --> 00:21:01,375
Fantozzi had never been able to escape
From Filini's abominable initiatives...
165
00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:08,709
...starting from the yearly football
match between bachelors and married employees.
166
00:21:08,792 --> 00:21:12,292
It takes place on the most devastated
field on the outskirts of town.
167
00:21:12,959 --> 00:21:16,417
The teams always play
very badly because of:...
168
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,459
...desertions, forbidding from
mothers, spouses and house doctors.
169
00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:23,417
- Heads.
- Tails.
170
00:21:26,209 --> 00:21:32,417
- Here. - Where is it? - Stop.
- There it is.
171
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:36,875
- Here. - No, that's a pebble.
- Don't stir up the water. - Carefully.
172
00:21:41,708 --> 00:21:44,792
- Careful. - Under there.
- Give it to me.
173
00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:47,750
- No, in the water.
- Take it out.
174
00:21:48,042 --> 00:21:51,375
- Quickly.
- Pass the ball.
175
00:21:51,541 --> 00:21:55,167
- Stop him! - To the right.
- Don't push. - Careful!
176
00:21:55,291 --> 00:21:59,417
- Goal!
- I scored!
177
00:21:59,958 --> 00:22:03,542
- I scored! - Bravo!
- We are great.
178
00:22:08,584 --> 00:22:12,209
- Braggart.
- Referee? That's a penalty!
179
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:18,125
- Come on, kick it.
- One moment.
180
00:22:29,874 --> 00:22:32,542
- Careful.
- Come on. - I'm going.
181
00:22:38,749 --> 00:22:42,000
The goal scorer,
who is he?
182
00:22:42,083 --> 00:22:45,542
- Referee, it bounced twice.
- What happened?
183
00:22:50,666 --> 00:22:54,417
- Mind the accountant!
- Stop him! - Push him!
184
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,125
- Run!
- Stop him!
185
00:22:58,208 --> 00:23:02,375
- Bravo! - I kicked it!
- Everybody there!
186
00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:05,334
- Watch the shot!
- Look out!
187
00:23:07,124 --> 00:23:10,875
See what you did?!
188
00:23:19,583 --> 00:23:23,042
- Pass the ball. - Don't dribble.
- Don't hold onto the ball.
189
00:23:25,541 --> 00:23:28,959
- Careful...
- Corner! - Corner.
190
00:23:29,499 --> 00:23:34,292
- Let me kick it! - Hurry up.
- Here, this is the right spot. - Yes.
191
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:36,667
- Spin.
- Kick it.
192
00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:38,959
It's mine! Mine!
193
00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:46,667
- Where's the ball? - He kicked it.
- Did you kick it? - Yeah.
194
00:23:46,749 --> 00:23:50,917
- But I should've kicked it!
- I wanted to surprise them.
195
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,250
Go! Go! Go!
196
00:23:55,333 --> 00:24:00,459
- Keeper! - Where is he?
- Goal!
197
00:24:01,625 --> 00:24:05,500
Kick him out!
198
00:24:06,084 --> 00:24:10,167
- It wasn't my fault. - Twice,
first with the right foot and then with the head.
199
00:24:10,250 --> 00:24:15,959
- I understand that...
- I won't play anymore, go away!
200
00:24:16,416 --> 00:24:20,417
- Ball!
- Come on, accountant!
201
00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:24,750
- It's mine! Mine!
- Stop him!
202
00:24:25,334 --> 00:24:28,834
After 12 minutes
of the first half,...
203
00:24:28,916 --> 00:24:33,209
...the first symptoms
of a heart attack appear.
204
00:24:33,291 --> 00:24:36,459
Followed by the implacable
dark cloud of the employer...
205
00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:40,125
every employer has his own cloud.
206
00:24:40,209 --> 00:24:44,334
These evil clouds can stay away
over 14 months.
207
00:24:44,417 --> 00:24:48,709
But once they realize their
workers are on holiday,...
208
00:24:48,792 --> 00:24:53,292
...they will pour down tons
of thick cold rain.
209
00:24:58,709 --> 00:25:00,750
- Post!
- Stop! Stop!
210
00:25:05,792 --> 00:25:09,167
- Center!
- Try the breaststroke!
211
00:25:09,417 --> 00:25:11,750
I got it!
212
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:17,667
- The ball.
- Kick it!
213
00:25:20,084 --> 00:25:22,125
Kick it! Kick it!
214
00:25:26,834 --> 00:25:28,875
That's too high!
215
00:25:29,459 --> 00:25:32,959
- I'll head it!
- You sure? - Very sure...
216
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:37,209
When Fantozzi sees Saint Peter
hovering over the goalpost...
217
00:25:37,292 --> 00:25:40,834
..it is a sign that the tragedy
is finally coming to an end.
218
00:25:41,459 --> 00:25:44,875
It doesn't bounce anymore.
219
00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:48,375
The match is suspended!
Everybody go home!
220
00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:52,584
Last year the married won
3 heart attacks versus 2 drownings.
221
00:25:53,584 --> 00:25:56,625
Fantozzi was Filini's
favorite victim.
222
00:25:56,709 --> 00:26:01,167
Once he convinced him to buy
a boat in partnership.
223
00:26:01,250 --> 00:26:05,000
8 kilos of bills until 1984!
224
00:26:05,084 --> 00:26:09,459
Hunted by the usual cloud,
they left during a wonderful spring day.
225
00:26:18,625 --> 00:26:23,417
Look!
Our countryside is beautiful!
226
00:26:24,959 --> 00:26:29,500
- It's the doll's fault...
- Shall I clean it? - Hands off!
227
00:26:29,584 --> 00:26:31,625
- Can you see?
- Yes.
228
00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:38,334
- I'd drive more to the right.
Or, the left. - I can see clearly.
229
00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:44,542
- Stop. Stop!
- What is it?
230
00:26:45,459 --> 00:26:50,500
What happened?
Arrest those rascals!
231
00:26:50,583 --> 00:26:54,459
I'm sorry,
Minister of Petroleum.
232
00:26:54,542 --> 00:26:58,542
- Both of you come out.
Come here. - I'm sorry.
233
00:26:58,666 --> 00:27:04,209
- Don't bother. - Accountant
Fantozzi? - Follow us.
234
00:27:04,291 --> 00:27:04,291
He's so wet.
235
00:27:06,749 --> 00:27:10,750
He was driving!
Fantozzi, tell him.
236
00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,875
I said that, but...
237
00:27:16,041 --> 00:27:18,750
A hundred lashes each.
238
00:27:18,834 --> 00:27:22,625
They didn't fine us.
We were lucky.
239
00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:25,334
Because of this humiliating hitch...
240
00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:28,500
...they arrived at the camping site
late that night.
241
00:27:28,583 --> 00:27:33,209
See how wonderful?
This is heaven.
242
00:27:33,291 --> 00:27:37,500
- Shall we pitch the tent?
- Yes, ready!
243
00:27:41,459 --> 00:27:45,375
- Where?
- I would say here.
244
00:27:45,458 --> 00:27:48,250
Be careful.
245
00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:54,959
Italians always noise!
Always sing, guitar and mandolin.
246
00:27:55,042 --> 00:27:58,417
Silence!
"Here sleeping, we German!"
247
00:27:58,499 --> 00:28:01,959
We German,
no Italian mandolin! - Shut up.
248
00:28:02,458 --> 00:28:07,709
- Stop the mandolin or they'll kick us out.
- Ok.
249
00:28:08,208 --> 00:28:12,500
First, the stakes.
250
00:28:12,583 --> 00:28:15,000
- I'll take them.
- Good.
251
00:28:26,834 --> 00:28:31,084
- Careful.
- Yes, careful.
252
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:36,417
- Give me the hammer. - Shall I swing?
- No, you hold the stake.
253
00:28:36,499 --> 00:28:39,167
- Try to be careful.
- Don't worry.
254
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:42,084
Please, be careful.
Damn, that hurts.
255
00:29:42,166 --> 00:29:45,459
You almost smashed my hand.
Look here.
256
00:30:20,625 --> 00:30:22,959
Once again, come on!
257
00:30:52,834 --> 00:30:54,875
Ouch!
258
00:30:56,416 --> 00:30:58,459
God!
259
00:31:01,459 --> 00:31:03,500
- Shall I go?
- You go.
260
00:31:08,416 --> 00:31:11,584
- I would like to try.
- Sure, come on board.
261
00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:18,334
- You just have to pull the rope.
- Ok. - Shall I go on? - Yes.
262
00:31:23,666 --> 00:31:27,792
- Everything looks OK. - Perfect.
- Let's try it. Shall I go? - You go.
263
00:31:28,666 --> 00:31:30,750
It turned on!
264
00:31:36,375 --> 00:31:44,917
- Did you turn it off? - Yes.
I hate engines, I prefer sailing.
265
00:31:45,374 --> 00:31:49,417
- But you were too stingy to buy
a sailboat! - Yes.
266
00:31:49,499 --> 00:31:53,917
We can make one, with the flag,
and the pole as a mast.
267
00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:59,542
- Did it fit?
- Yes, completely.
268
00:32:00,999 --> 00:32:04,459
- Good, the wind is from the east.
- No, it's from the west.
269
00:32:04,583 --> 00:32:06,792
- It is from the east.
- I insist.
270
00:32:09,791 --> 00:32:11,917
- Shall I go?
- You go.
271
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,459
They rented a rowboat
at a shameful price.
272
00:32:16,541 --> 00:32:22,375
A huge two-ton monster.
- Wait. - Not like that.
273
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:27,667
- Don't pull. - I'm not pulling.
- Let me in, so.
274
00:32:27,749 --> 00:32:31,709
- Don't move, I'll go in.
- Where are you going? - Don't worry.
275
00:32:31,792 --> 00:32:38,750
- You need to be absolutely calm.
- Pardon me? - What are you saying?
276
00:32:38,834 --> 00:32:43,875
- Excuse me, Filini?
Come back. - What?
277
00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:47,875
I'll be back there.
We are making a mess of it.
278
00:32:47,959 --> 00:32:52,000
- Follow me, down. - Ok.
- Down, this way. - Down.
279
00:32:52,084 --> 00:32:57,084
- I'm stuck.
- No, put your leg behind your head.
280
00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:15,459
- I can't stand it anymore.
- Neither can I.
281
00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:17,875
I can't resist, I am going crazy.
282
00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:22,625
You sure you didn't bring
any water?
283
00:33:22,708 --> 00:33:29,167
- You should have done it.
- No, you said you would.
284
00:33:29,249 --> 00:33:31,917
No, you took the responsibility.
285
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,250
The... The... the cloud.
286
00:33:35,875 --> 00:33:38,500
The employer's cloud!
287
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:43,959
Here it is, hurray for the cloud!
Come here above, stop!
288
00:33:44,666 --> 00:33:48,084
- Please Rain!
- Rain!
289
00:33:50,083 --> 00:33:52,542
- Water!
- Water!
290
00:33:54,291 --> 00:33:58,625
- What are you doing? Where are you going?
- No, here! Here!
291
00:33:59,292 --> 00:34:02,125
- Where is it going?
- No!
292
00:34:08,333 --> 00:34:10,667
At 3 p.m.,...
293
00:34:10,750 --> 00:34:14,000
..Filini started hearing
sirens as if he were Ulysses.
294
00:34:14,083 --> 00:34:17,000
Filini!
295
00:34:17,084 --> 00:34:19,334
Accountant Filini!
296
00:34:20,041 --> 00:34:29,459
You are so beautiful!
We want you! Follow us.
297
00:34:29,542 --> 00:34:32,667
Fantozzi, on the contrary
was holding to his own style.
298
00:34:32,749 --> 00:34:35,625
Mystic hallucinations.
299
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:49,209
- Do you have any fish?
- We didn't fish. - Any bread?
300
00:34:49,292 --> 00:34:53,917
- No, he should have brought it. - No, him.
- What the hell should I multiply, then?
301
00:35:13,292 --> 00:35:17,584
On Christmas' eve, in the Olympus
at the 18th floor,...
302
00:35:17,667 --> 00:35:22,250
...the natural and collateral mega directors
were exchanging amazing gifts.
303
00:35:22,334 --> 00:35:25,834
Golden panettoni with sapphires and amethysts
instead of candies.
304
00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:30,042
And cheers with champagne
dated 1612.
305
00:35:30,124 --> 00:35:33,500
- Gentlemen, shall we go to a cafe?
- Yes.
306
00:35:34,667 --> 00:35:38,750
- The children are here.
- Let them in. - The first one.
307
00:35:44,374 --> 00:35:50,000
Be joyful, Jesus is born.
And many wishes to the Counselor.
308
00:35:50,083 --> 00:35:53,167
Good! Bravo!
309
00:35:54,958 --> 00:35:59,167
- This is for you, merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
310
00:36:00,208 --> 00:36:06,750
- "Flowers with colored petals."
- "But changing in fruits..."
311
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,709
Go.
312
00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:21,209
"A big and nice cherry tree,
said to a little one:..."
313
00:36:21,292 --> 00:36:26,167
"..you are good, you have flowers,
with many colored petals."
314
00:36:26,417 --> 00:36:29,875
"But you won't be able,
to give much fruit."
315
00:36:34,625 --> 00:36:37,750
- A specimen from the zoo.
- She's well tamed.
316
00:36:37,834 --> 00:36:42,375
We should make a selection,
I am a sensitive person.
317
00:36:42,459 --> 00:36:45,584
She's the daughter of
accountant Chimp.
318
00:36:45,667 --> 00:36:49,292
Or Sir Gorilly.
319
00:36:49,458 --> 00:36:54,625
- Cheetah, do you like bananas?
- Cheetah, flip over. - No.
320
00:36:56,874 --> 00:36:59,167
- Her father is here.
- Who is he?
321
00:37:18,166 --> 00:37:23,459
Anyway, I wish you all my humblest
Christmas greetings...
322
00:37:23,541 --> 00:37:26,000
...and a respectable happy new year.
323
00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:28,875
Let's go my dear.
324
00:37:32,291 --> 00:37:34,334
Keep it tight
because it's very cold.
325
00:37:35,750 --> 00:37:38,084
Daddy, why did they call me Cheetah?
326
00:37:38,167 --> 00:37:41,042
- Who?
- Who's Cheetah?
327
00:37:42,834 --> 00:37:47,667
Cheetah Hayworth
was a very famous American actress.
328
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:51,000
She was the most beautiful of them all.
329
00:37:51,875 --> 00:37:58,667
But, you know what?
You're even more beautiful than she was.
330
00:37:59,874 --> 00:38:01,917
Maybe.
331
00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:39,584
- All the best!
- Happy New Year. - All the best.
332
00:38:41,917 --> 00:38:43,709
Hey!
333
00:38:43,792 --> 00:38:46,959
Let's go there! Good evening.
334
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:52,834
- Happy New Year Miss Silvani.
- Thanks. - How are you?
335
00:38:52,916 --> 00:38:57,125
- Carboni, do you know my wife?
- Nice to meet you. - Sit here.
336
00:38:57,208 --> 00:39:00,250
I want Mariangela next to me.
337
00:39:00,333 --> 00:39:05,334
Mr Fantozzi, what are you doing?
You're at table 22, not here.
338
00:39:05,416 --> 00:39:08,167
- Carboni, please.
- See you later.
339
00:39:09,041 --> 00:39:11,084
Here I am.
340
00:39:20,334 --> 00:39:24,625
- Nice. - After... to toast together,
...later.
341
00:39:24,708 --> 00:39:27,792
- A toast.
- Shall we toast?
342
00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:32,792
It's cold, isn't it?
343
00:39:32,875 --> 00:39:36,042
- Aren't you cold?
- A little bit.
344
00:39:36,959 --> 00:39:40,709
No, Mariangela,
take it off or you'll look ugly.
345
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:22,625
Excuse me?
Won't you change it?
346
00:40:24,749 --> 00:40:27,459
Presto! Presto! So it'll be over soon.
347
00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:31,875
Hey!
348
00:40:35,541 --> 00:40:40,000
- The tortellini! - Good.
- Tortellini and sour cream.
349
00:40:40,084 --> 00:40:42,334
- Tortellini?
- Yes.
350
00:40:48,834 --> 00:40:52,959
- Do you like it? - Yes, a lot.
- More? - No, thanks, that's enough.
351
00:41:02,083 --> 00:41:05,459
- Have a bit of salt.
- Thanks.
352
00:41:15,375 --> 00:41:19,792
- Pork leg with lentils!
- I love this dish!
353
00:41:25,124 --> 00:41:27,167
It's nothing!
354
00:41:27,791 --> 00:41:29,834
It can happen.
355
00:41:30,542 --> 00:41:32,584
It brings good luck.
356
00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:37,125
Accountant, it's money!
357
00:41:37,750 --> 00:41:41,584
Be happy, sir!
Happiness all year long!
358
00:41:49,209 --> 00:41:54,417
- Sir, fruit salad and whipped cream.
- I like this a lot.
359
00:42:01,458 --> 00:42:03,500
Enough.
360
00:42:44,291 --> 00:42:47,000
Around 10:30, after dinner,
361
00:42:47,084 --> 00:42:50,292
since the conductor had
another appointment,
362
00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:53,250
he fast-forwarded to New Year...
363
00:42:53,334 --> 00:42:57,000
Attention please!
3 minutes to the midnight!
364
00:42:57,084 --> 00:43:00,000
Be ready with the champagne!
365
00:43:00,084 --> 00:43:04,375
- Wait.
- Nine, eight, seven, six,...
366
00:43:04,458 --> 00:43:10,125
..five, four, three, two, one...
367
00:43:10,208 --> 00:43:14,625
Midnight!
Happy New Year!
368
00:43:17,750 --> 00:43:20,167
Toast! Happy New Year!
369
00:43:21,917 --> 00:43:29,417
- All the best! - Who'll kiss me?
- Me! A kiss.
370
00:43:41,499 --> 00:43:45,584
Fantozzi? Where were you?
I've been looking for you all night.
371
00:43:45,666 --> 00:43:51,334
Shall we toast?
Happy New Year! All the best!
372
00:43:56,624 --> 00:43:58,667
Happy New Year!
373
00:43:59,584 --> 00:44:01,625
All the best!
374
00:44:22,624 --> 00:44:24,667
All the best!
375
00:44:25,374 --> 00:44:27,417
Happy New Year!
376
00:44:58,292 --> 00:45:02,500
Ugo?
377
00:45:02,749 --> 00:45:06,000
Are you hurt?
Don't ruin this night, please.
378
00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:10,334
- I'm not hurt.
- Nothing? - Good for you.
379
00:45:10,417 --> 00:45:15,084
- Nothing? - He's not hurt.
- Happiness!
380
00:45:15,167 --> 00:45:18,125
Music! Hurray!
381
00:45:37,042 --> 00:45:40,125
At 1:30 a.m., conductor's
bogus mean-time...
382
00:45:40,208 --> 00:45:45,167
or otherwise, at the real midnight,
the fireworks commence.
383
00:45:50,166 --> 00:45:54,167
- My watch says 1:30.
- It's midnight. They have...
384
00:45:54,249 --> 00:45:57,000
- It doesn't matter! Hurray!
- All the best!
385
00:45:57,083 --> 00:46:00,959
Let's go to my house,
I have a bottle of Brunello wine!
386
00:46:01,041 --> 00:46:04,584
- Party at Fantozzi's place!
- All the best! Ouch!
387
00:46:04,666 --> 00:46:11,292
- Happy new year! - Who'll drive with me?
- I have 7 seats free!
388
00:46:11,375 --> 00:46:16,292
- Careful below!
- Go ahead! A new year, a new life!
389
00:46:16,375 --> 00:46:20,084
- Heads up!
- Happy New Year!
390
00:46:31,500 --> 00:46:36,167
I think I'll leave it parked here.
391
00:46:38,083 --> 00:46:41,000
The wild sir Catellani...
392
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:44,917
...had been elected Grand Maestro
of the Human Resources Department.
393
00:46:44,999 --> 00:46:49,917
No pain, no gain!
394
00:46:49,999 --> 00:46:53,167
True words from somebody
who worked his ass off.
395
00:46:53,666 --> 00:46:59,250
He placed in the hall the statue
of his mother, Teresa...
396
00:46:59,334 --> 00:47:02,750
..and forced everybody passing by
to honor her.
397
00:47:10,333 --> 00:47:13,042
- Do you need anything?
- No.
398
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,584
- Enjoy your meal, Miss Silvani.
- Thanks.
399
00:47:22,667 --> 00:47:26,167
- I'll sit next to you.
- Sure, sit down. - Thanks.
400
00:47:28,541 --> 00:47:32,084
- Is this seat taken? - Yes.
- Then I'll sit here.
401
00:47:32,166 --> 00:47:37,417
- This one too... this too.
- Both? - Yes.
402
00:47:37,499 --> 00:47:42,209
- Wine? - Thanks, water and wine.
- But water is discouraging.
403
00:47:42,334 --> 00:47:45,167
- Come here, Fantozzi.
- Thanks.
404
00:47:45,249 --> 00:47:51,292
I say: B 1 2,
and he says: water...
405
00:47:51,375 --> 00:47:53,875
Did you eat pasta with beans?
406
00:47:53,959 --> 00:47:57,000
- No, I had the beef.
- I like it a lot.
407
00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:04,209
You know what? Catellani
likes to play billiards.
408
00:48:04,292 --> 00:48:09,500
Good morning and have a nice meal!
Do you know something?
409
00:48:09,584 --> 00:48:12,750
Catellani likes to play billiards,
410
00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:16,167
Why are you telling me?
I found it out first!
411
00:48:16,250 --> 00:48:21,042
- Somebody from finance department,
Mr Vitti. - I know him.
412
00:48:21,124 --> 00:48:26,459
- Seven games lost,
two promotions. - Two?!
413
00:48:28,999 --> 00:48:31,042
May I come in!
414
00:48:31,500 --> 00:48:33,542
Good morning.
415
00:48:39,916 --> 00:48:43,042
- Do you need anything?
- No, no.
416
00:48:51,250 --> 00:48:57,084
- Good morning director. - Hey!
- The red light is on. - Not for me.
417
00:48:57,166 --> 00:48:59,209
Dear Catellani!
418
00:49:02,250 --> 00:49:06,334
- Where's the sleeping pill?
I can't sleep. - It's here.
419
00:49:06,417 --> 00:49:10,584
From a lowly janitor he became a civil servant.
And Carboni? He's a billiards champion.
420
00:49:10,666 --> 00:49:16,125
Stupid idiot,
he lost 37 games in a row,...
421
00:49:16,209 --> 00:49:19,209
...and so he became
Soglio's assistant.
422
00:49:19,292 --> 00:49:23,417
He can go in Catellani's office
even when it's restricted. Damn him!
423
00:49:30,583 --> 00:49:32,875
- Ugo? - Yes?
- Listen,
424
00:49:34,041 --> 00:49:41,542
- why don't you lose
a couple of games too? - Never.
425
00:49:41,625 --> 00:49:45,375
I'd prefer to starve,
eat bread with onions.
426
00:49:45,459 --> 00:49:50,292
And I never played billiards
in my life.
427
00:49:50,374 --> 00:49:53,292
- I have my dignity.
- You're right.
428
00:49:53,709 --> 00:49:58,417
And I could never look into
your eyes...
429
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:05,709
To the right, slow down.
Higher. Up your bum!
430
00:50:05,792 --> 00:50:10,792
Hold the cue down.
Wait, I'll show you.
431
00:50:10,917 --> 00:50:15,209
Hold the cue
in this position and...
432
00:50:15,291 --> 00:50:18,209
Rap! What happened?
433
00:50:19,458 --> 00:50:23,709
Don't be silly!
Hold the cue down. Over there!
434
00:50:23,792 --> 00:50:29,250
Up your bum. No, too much.
Up your head, stiff but relaxed.
435
00:50:29,333 --> 00:50:34,334
Now, a bit further, to the right.
Straighten your back!
436
00:50:34,417 --> 00:50:39,084
- You must shoot here.
- And now pull back. Come on!
437
00:50:41,416 --> 00:50:43,459
What have you done?
438
00:50:43,999 --> 00:50:48,917
- What are you hiding? - A tooth.
- A tooth? - An incisor actually.
439
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:54,334
- Where are the pins?
- The pins are... I drank them.
440
00:50:54,416 --> 00:50:58,584
Very good, now you'll eat them.
441
00:50:58,667 --> 00:51:02,584
- It's 03:30, not my lunchtime.
- Eat the pins.
442
00:51:02,666 --> 00:51:04,167
Do you mind if I eat only the red one?
443
00:51:04,249 --> 00:51:07,542
- All of them! - I am on diet.
- All of them. - All of them.
444
00:51:10,958 --> 00:51:14,375
I just need to learn to lose,
not to win.
445
00:51:14,459 --> 00:51:18,417
I only teach to be a winner or nothing else.
Punishment.
446
00:51:20,167 --> 00:51:24,917
- Give me the back of your hands.
- But you just did it last night. - Hands!
447
00:51:33,374 --> 00:51:37,542
The lesson is over,
read the book. See you tomorrow night.
448
00:51:37,750 --> 00:51:41,792
- Can I come around one o'clock?
- At 02:30. - Fine.
449
00:51:43,125 --> 00:51:47,625
He met the billiards teacher
through a night security guard,
450
00:51:47,709 --> 00:51:50,250
who was an incurable night-bird.
451
00:51:50,375 --> 00:51:56,959
Rather than confess to his wife
the shameful truth,...
452
00:51:57,042 --> 00:52:03,292
..he preferred to simulate
a love affair.
453
00:52:05,959 --> 00:52:11,584
To make the thing believable,
he left clues everywhere.
454
00:52:23,167 --> 00:52:25,209
Until, one night,...
455
00:52:26,583 --> 00:52:34,042
(song in Italian)# Parlami d'amore, MariĹŻ.
Dimmi che il mio amore sei tu. #
456
00:52:34,125 --> 00:52:41,000
# Gli occhi tuoi belli brillano.
Dimmi che illusione non Ä... #
457
00:52:42,124 --> 00:52:46,959
- Are you cheating on me?
- Yes. That's life.
458
00:52:57,459 --> 00:53:00,959
I separated the beds...
459
00:53:01,874 --> 00:53:03,917
# Parlami d'amore... #
460
00:53:10,208 --> 00:53:16,042
- Do you need anything? - No.
This time I've been very careful.
461
00:53:18,959 --> 00:53:25,667
Bitch! Bitch! Old hag!
I'll show you!
462
00:53:25,958 --> 00:53:28,209
You'll see...
463
00:53:29,083 --> 00:53:35,292
I am cleaning well.
It was very dirty.
464
00:53:49,333 --> 00:53:53,834
When you said "bitch"
were you alluding to your wife?
465
00:53:53,917 --> 00:53:57,042
Yes, how did you know?
Everyday I...
466
00:53:57,124 --> 00:54:00,625
That's true, every day
coming in and going out...
467
00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:04,709
- he says to his wife:
old hag and... - Bitch!
468
00:54:06,499 --> 00:54:10,417
- Can you play billiards?
- Me? Sure.
469
00:54:11,417 --> 00:54:13,459
Saturday night at my place.
470
00:54:14,374 --> 00:54:19,542
- Everybody! - He's a nice director.
- Nice director.
471
00:54:19,624 --> 00:54:22,834
- Yes, a wonderful person.
- You are a saint! - An apostle.
472
00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:25,417
- Three cheers for our director.
- Hurray!
473
00:54:43,416 --> 00:54:45,459
Hi, Diego.
474
00:54:46,792 --> 00:54:53,417
- Let's drink a toast to the winner.
- To you!
475
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:57,375
Stop drinking! Now we play.
Fantocci! Where is Fantocci?
476
00:54:57,875 --> 00:55:02,667
- Er, Fantozzi? - Go find him!
- He's calling you. - "Fantocci"!
477
00:55:04,209 --> 00:55:09,042
Here he is. Are you scared?
Come on! Come on!
478
00:55:10,375 --> 00:55:12,709
- Ready?
- I am. - Mummy.
479
00:55:13,291 --> 00:55:17,209
- Let's go.
- Make room.
480
00:55:33,875 --> 00:55:38,709
- Come on. You do this for me and
for Mariangela. - Don't worry.
481
00:55:39,584 --> 00:55:44,084
- Nice mum.
- Thanks. - Stop it.
482
00:55:45,250 --> 00:55:48,959
- And you? - Mr Filini Renzo,
accidents department.
483
00:55:49,041 --> 00:55:53,042
- Are you an accountant? - Yes.
- You can mark the points. Billiards!
484
00:55:53,374 --> 00:55:57,167
- Thanks, you're very kind.
- So? - I am very happy.
485
00:55:57,250 --> 00:56:00,375
- Let the best man win, me!
486
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:08,792
- Please. - No, thanks. - Please.
- I don't like them. - Please!
487
00:56:09,334 --> 00:56:11,834
If you insist I can eat this.
488
00:56:12,792 --> 00:56:15,875
Are you eating the chalk?
489
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:22,584
- Here it is.
- Wait a moment.
490
00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:29,250
- This too?
- What are you doing?
491
00:56:29,959 --> 00:56:35,334
- Here, the left...
- Don't be silly, give it to me.
492
00:56:36,499 --> 00:56:38,792
And play, you idiot!
493
00:56:42,584 --> 00:56:45,834
The ball is the right one.
494
00:56:50,124 --> 00:56:54,292
- Your turn.
- You didn't even touch it.
495
00:56:54,417 --> 00:56:57,792
- A little bit. - Did he touch it?
- No! - See?
496
00:56:57,874 --> 00:57:01,209
- Go on. - I think it is...
- Go on, "asshole"!
497
00:57:05,124 --> 00:57:09,542
- One point for me!
- Yes, one point for the director!
498
00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:14,792
- Very good, director!
- Now, I'll teach you a lesson.
499
00:57:15,041 --> 00:57:17,500
Be careful, it's a masterstroke.
500
00:57:19,459 --> 00:57:25,417
- Go! - Very good, director!
- Good- Thanks!
501
00:57:26,834 --> 00:57:30,084
Eight points, mark it.
Come on.
502
00:57:30,249 --> 00:57:35,667
Hurry up! "Asshole"!
Don't get distracted.
503
00:57:35,750 --> 00:57:38,750
It will all be over soon.
504
00:57:38,834 --> 00:57:43,250
- Pull. - That's very easy.
505
00:57:43,333 --> 00:57:48,667
You touch mine and make a point...
He messed up, stupid!
506
00:57:49,125 --> 00:57:51,792
- Shall I eat them?
- Do you want to eat them?
507
00:57:51,875 --> 00:57:56,667
Are you a cannibal?
Come on. Buffoon.
508
00:57:59,791 --> 00:58:02,417
Bravo! Bravo!
509
00:58:04,417 --> 00:58:09,792
Many thanks to the "asshole".
Accountant, point.
510
00:58:09,959 --> 00:58:12,000
Let's see.
511
00:58:14,499 --> 00:58:17,542
Bravo! Good job! Great!
512
00:58:18,124 --> 00:58:20,167
Please
513
00:58:22,959 --> 00:58:27,250
- Another missing!
- 24 for the director.
514
00:58:27,334 --> 00:58:30,959
- Eight to the company!
- Nice work!
515
00:58:31,041 --> 00:58:33,875
Eight points against the
asshole.
516
00:58:37,542 --> 00:58:40,209
That's just luck, asshole.
517
00:58:48,791 --> 00:58:52,667
Eight!
This is skill, asshole.
518
00:58:59,584 --> 00:59:03,917
Yours is luck, mine is skill,
my dear asshole.
519
00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:07,625
After 380 "assholes"
and 49 points against 2,...
520
00:59:07,834 --> 00:59:11,959
...Fantozzi met again
his wife's eyes.
521
00:59:15,042 --> 00:59:17,084
Can you excuse me one moment?
522
00:59:20,041 --> 00:59:22,084
I would like,...
523
00:59:23,249 --> 00:59:26,250
I'd like to play, now.
524
00:59:41,667 --> 00:59:45,292
- Mark! 11 points, not 3!
- I'm sorry.
525
00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:49,459
- "Asshole"!
- There it is!
526
00:59:56,292 --> 01:00:02,500
12 Points. And now
for the central pin effect.
527
01:00:05,167 --> 01:00:07,459
5, pull it up!
528
01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:10,792
Mark!
529
01:00:12,542 --> 01:00:16,042
5 corners kick and 11 points.
530
01:00:18,209 --> 01:00:20,250
Match!
531
01:00:21,375 --> 01:00:25,417
Royal triplet back with ball.
532
01:00:31,958 --> 01:00:38,000
Accountant Fantozzi: 51.
Director Earl Catellani: 49.
533
01:00:46,792 --> 01:00:48,834
I'll take the old lady!
534
01:00:50,042 --> 01:00:53,667
What are you doing, young man?
Put me down.
535
01:00:54,249 --> 01:00:56,875
Excuse me, madam
536
01:01:01,917 --> 01:01:04,792
Hallo? Earl Catellani?
537
01:01:04,874 --> 01:01:07,959
These are the conditions
to release your mother.
538
01:01:08,833 --> 01:01:12,500
First: a monthly allowance with a 13th month
for my wife and my daughter.
539
01:01:12,583 --> 01:01:16,250
Second:
a plane to Libya.
540
01:01:16,333 --> 01:01:21,417
The plane is the most important thing.
Because your mother...
541
01:01:21,499 --> 01:01:27,000
- He's my man! - Leave me alone.
- I love you! Forgive me, Diego.
542
01:01:28,542 --> 01:01:33,209
- Your mum is asking that.
- Wait a moment. - What are you doing?
543
01:01:33,292 --> 01:01:39,834
- Are you leaving me?
Don't go away, Ugo!
544
01:01:39,917 --> 01:01:43,375
- Wait for me here.
- Open up, Ugo. I love you!
545
01:01:43,459 --> 01:01:47,584
Open! I want you! I love you!
546
01:01:49,750 --> 01:01:51,792
Don't run away!
547
01:01:53,166 --> 01:01:57,542
Three months later, facing
the image of his tragic physical decline,...
548
01:01:57,625 --> 01:02:00,084
Fantozzi decided to go on a diet.
549
01:02:00,167 --> 01:02:03,834
After years of deskbound life,
his new word was...
550
01:02:03,917 --> 01:02:09,292
Sports! I should take up some sport.
Look, I don't fit in anymore.
551
01:02:09,374 --> 01:02:14,834
- Ok, but be careful. Mind your age.
- No dangers, no age!
552
01:02:16,459 --> 01:02:20,709
- Pina. My back.
- My god, Ughino.
553
01:02:21,249 --> 01:02:26,042
- I just told you.
- I'm stuck. - Where's the pain?
554
01:02:26,124 --> 01:02:32,625
- My back.
- Ugo, you can't do sports anymore.
555
01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:35,500
I like you the way you are.
556
01:02:35,584 --> 01:02:39,792
Filini booked the tennis field
on the coldest Sunday of that year.
557
01:02:39,875 --> 01:02:42,750
From 6 to 7 in the morning.
558
01:02:42,834 --> 01:02:45,292
All the other time slots...
559
01:02:45,374 --> 01:02:49,209
...had been booked by players
of higher ranking.
560
01:02:49,292 --> 01:02:54,292
Miraculous director, heirs,
cardinals, and sons.
561
01:02:54,375 --> 01:02:57,750
This way!
562
01:02:57,959 --> 01:03:01,250
This way! Come!
563
01:03:02,083 --> 01:03:06,250
What are you doing?
You almost crashed.
564
01:03:07,083 --> 01:03:13,542
In the changing rooms there were
three players from the night before.
565
01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:16,209
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
566
01:03:17,875 --> 01:03:19,917
Go on.
567
01:03:26,374 --> 01:03:29,459
- Cold, aren't you?
- No.
568
01:03:32,500 --> 01:03:37,084
Filini's outfit: his rich auntie's
white skirt.
569
01:03:37,167 --> 01:03:41,084
White t-shirt, fat leather
walking shoes,...
570
01:03:41,167 --> 01:03:46,875
...scottish socks and garters,
double racket.
571
01:03:47,667 --> 01:03:52,459
FantozzĂ: t-shirt, armpits-length
pants open on the front,..
572
01:03:52,541 --> 01:03:55,834
...and poorly closed
with a safety pin.
573
01:03:55,917 --> 01:04:00,125
Racket from 1912,
elegant green hat with pocket:...
574
01:04:00,208 --> 01:04:02,584
..writing~ Town Hall Casino
of SaĂnt VĂncent~.
575
01:04:02,667 --> 01:04:07,792
- Which side do you prefer to play?
- It's up to you.
576
01:04:07,875 --> 01:04:12,417
- Well, I chose this side.
- Fine. - That way faces the sun.
577
01:04:25,584 --> 01:04:28,792
Well? Are you starting?
578
01:04:28,874 --> 01:04:33,167
- Are you being informal to me?
- No, I mean: Mr Filini would you start?
579
01:04:33,250 --> 01:04:35,625
- Ah, informal!
- Yes! - Wait.
580
01:04:41,834 --> 01:04:44,584
- Well?
- One moment!
581
01:04:45,792 --> 01:04:49,792
- Ready?
- Ready!
582
01:04:49,874 --> 01:04:51,917
Noise of smashed glass
583
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:58,500
- 15-0.
- What? I'm here.
584
01:04:58,583 --> 01:05:03,125
- I thought you were..
- Hey!
585
01:05:03,208 --> 01:05:05,250
- Ready?
- Ready!
586
01:05:09,999 --> 01:05:11,792
Go!
587
01:05:11,875 --> 01:05:15,167
A good service:
bend your knees,...
588
01:05:15,249 --> 01:05:19,042
...left foot ahead,
hammer position...
589
01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:22,709
..waist rotation and
violently...
590
01:05:35,041 --> 01:05:41,209
What are you doing?,
Retiring? Good!
591
01:05:46,958 --> 01:05:49,709
Let's clean the lines too.
592
01:05:58,334 --> 01:06:02,709
Fantozzi abandoned the idea of sport,
but not the diet.
593
01:06:04,874 --> 01:06:08,417
He sacrificed part
of his summer vacation...
594
01:06:08,499 --> 01:06:12,750
...to find health in the
~Magnolie~.
595
01:06:12,834 --> 01:06:15,542
You are here to pay, aren't you?
596
01:06:15,624 --> 01:06:19,167
No, I am here about the diet.
597
01:06:19,249 --> 01:06:25,209
Perfect! I'll tell you about
the paying terms. All at once!
598
01:06:25,292 --> 01:06:30,459
It's a psychological motivation
so that the patient is involved in the cure.
599
01:06:30,542 --> 01:06:35,875
- I don't have much cash.
- There is some money here.
600
01:06:35,958 --> 01:06:42,459
50,000 liras and 10,000 tip to the lady
and 40,000 for me.
601
01:06:42,542 --> 01:06:47,375
For the rest you can sign a check,
and the saints are for you.
602
01:06:47,916 --> 01:06:49,959
Thanks a lot.
603
01:07:14,917 --> 01:07:17,084
Excuse me?
604
01:07:17,166 --> 01:07:21,750
I didn't have breakfast yet,
what about board?
605
01:07:21,833 --> 01:07:26,667
Nothing! You fast the first 10 days.
No food, no drink.
606
01:07:28,666 --> 01:07:32,792
What's the toilet for, then?
607
01:07:41,875 --> 01:07:48,250
Smells like mushroom risotto!
608
01:07:57,749 --> 01:08:02,125
It really is mushroom risotto!
Where is it?
609
01:08:02,209 --> 01:08:05,084
It's not here. Only the smell.
610
01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:10,250
They send it through the air pipe
under the bed.
611
01:08:10,333 --> 01:08:14,792
Tonight I had pot roast
and onions.
612
01:08:14,874 --> 01:08:19,334
Plug the pipe with your coat
if you don't want to go crazy.
613
01:08:24,374 --> 01:08:26,584
No! I must resist!
614
01:08:32,624 --> 01:08:37,250
...were derived from night deals.
615
01:08:46,584 --> 01:08:51,667
"Tagliatelle alla boscaiola.
Paglia e fieno ai 4 formaggi."
616
01:08:51,750 --> 01:08:54,792
"Rigaroni alla bella Bologna".
617
01:08:54,875 --> 01:08:57,417
Cash, please.
618
01:08:57,875 --> 01:09:03,084
- Do you want something?
- How much for a portion?
619
01:09:03,167 --> 01:09:06,584
- 28,000 liras.
- "Paglia e fieno?"
620
01:09:08,541 --> 01:09:12,917
- These are my last 30,000 liras,
no change. - Bucatini?
621
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,667
Here are the bucatini.
622
01:09:16,250 --> 01:09:22,584
- I'm starving, I'm starving!
- Quickly, please!
623
01:09:22,917 --> 01:09:26,625
- For you?
- Lasagnette.
624
01:09:26,709 --> 01:09:33,209
- How much do you have?
- I have 10,000 lire. You need more.
625
01:09:35,708 --> 01:09:37,750
Damn you.
626
01:09:41,374 --> 01:09:47,334
- Here it is!
- NO!
627
01:09:47,417 --> 01:09:52,834
28,000 liras! Thieves!
You will never get me! Never!
628
01:09:54,250 --> 01:09:59,417
But after 2 days and 2 nights
of heroic resistance, they finally got him.
629
01:10:00,417 --> 01:10:05,584
"Ravioli di spinaci
with double butter."
630
01:10:05,667 --> 01:10:09,084
- What's on tonight?
- Pappardelle with hare's sauce.
631
01:10:09,166 --> 01:10:13,292
- Two portions.
- Ok. 56,000 liras.
632
01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:18,500
- I don't have cash anymore...
- We have checks you can sign.
633
01:10:23,792 --> 01:10:25,834
Here it is!
634
01:10:44,374 --> 01:10:49,375
In the following nights
he went 280,000 liras into debt.
635
01:10:49,459 --> 01:10:52,000
Then, he lost count.
636
01:11:21,499 --> 01:11:27,334
Got! He was eating!
Take him away!
637
01:11:27,417 --> 01:11:29,459
To the check point!
638
01:11:29,541 --> 01:11:34,167
Weight check for patient nr 28.
639
01:11:35,250 --> 01:11:39,792
That night Fantozzi signed
two giant checks.
640
01:11:39,874 --> 01:11:46,042
He bought the most expensive specialty:
"SpaghettĂ alla Montecristo".
641
01:12:28,375 --> 01:12:33,625
- I can't talk.
- A man of class never talks.
642
01:12:35,709 --> 01:12:39,584
My "compact" model,
no diets or sacrifice...
643
01:12:39,667 --> 01:12:42,500
...you have 20 kilos and 20 years less.
644
01:12:51,417 --> 01:12:55,709
Miss Silvani?
You have an old debt to me.
645
01:12:55,791 --> 01:12:59,459
Do you know that they opened
up a new Japanese restaurant?
646
01:13:00,625 --> 01:13:04,625
Ok, Fantozzi, it's a pleasure to accept.
647
01:13:04,709 --> 01:13:08,084
You are thinner, what did you do?
You look like another person.
648
01:13:08,166 --> 01:13:11,125
- Can you turn me, please?
- Yes.
649
01:13:11,875 --> 01:13:17,375
- I go to dinner with the managers.
- You look like a manager too.
650
01:13:19,084 --> 01:13:21,125
Kiss.
651
01:13:22,584 --> 01:13:28,792
- I can't do that.
- It doesn't matter. Bye. See you soon.
652
01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:30,917
Bye.
653
01:14:27,708 --> 01:14:32,625
- Sayonara. - Sayonara. You are so beautiful,
you look very nice dressed like that.
654
01:14:32,708 --> 01:14:37,417
- You're very elegant too.
This is. - My pleasure.
655
01:14:38,124 --> 01:14:41,792
- My beloved puppy.
I can't live without him. - I see.
656
01:14:41,874 --> 01:14:46,917
- He can't eat without me.
- My pleasure.
657
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:51,667
- He's a peke,...
- Let's go.
658
01:14:51,750 --> 01:14:53,792
I booked 3 months ago.
659
01:14:59,417 --> 01:15:01,459
- Nice.
- Wait.
660
01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:10,834
See puppy, all these people
eating their foody-woody?
661
01:15:19,791 --> 01:15:23,375
- Are you going to feed him?
- Yes, sure.
662
01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:27,209
The rules of Japanese restaurants are terrible.
663
01:15:27,292 --> 01:15:30,917
The staff speaks only Japanese.
664
01:15:30,999 --> 01:15:38,875
Hello. This dog needs food.
He's hungry! "Yummy"! Hungry.
665
01:15:38,959 --> 01:15:42,792
Kitchen, eat. You, cook.
666
01:15:43,042 --> 01:15:47,292
You understand?
667
01:15:49,708 --> 01:15:56,959
- Miss Silvani? - Yes?
- Your dog will be fine - Thanks.
668
01:15:57,041 --> 01:16:02,084
He's eating in the kitchen.
You must bow, it's the rule.
669
01:16:02,166 --> 01:16:05,625
- You bow, please.
- I'll go.
670
01:16:06,291 --> 01:16:11,042
I'm sorry, it was my turn!
671
01:16:13,541 --> 01:16:17,375
- Do you like here?
It's nice, isn't it?
672
01:16:17,459 --> 01:16:23,000
- Kneeling down is a bit uncomfortable.
- I feel very good.
673
01:16:23,083 --> 01:16:25,625
- Miss Silvani. - Yes?
- I would like...
674
01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:29,875
- I would like to tell you the most important
thing of my life. - Tell me.
675
01:16:29,959 --> 01:16:33,250
- Did you see the goldfish?
- Yes, why - They are mullets.
676
01:16:33,333 --> 01:16:36,334
What's happening?
677
01:16:36,417 --> 01:16:39,917
Ever since the Human Resource
Department, seven years ago...
678
01:16:39,999 --> 01:16:42,042
Sake.
679
01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:48,000
- What's that? - The famous Japanese wine rice
- Good.
680
01:16:49,249 --> 01:16:51,959
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
681
01:16:53,750 --> 01:16:58,584
- What's this? Melted lead?
- No, you must drink it very warm.
682
01:16:58,875 --> 01:17:04,292
- Drink it. - The secret
is to drink it all at once.
683
01:17:04,375 --> 01:17:07,125
It doesn't matter! It does...
684
01:17:11,625 --> 01:17:14,875
- Air!
- Have you got a light?
685
01:17:14,959 --> 01:17:17,292
Wait...
686
01:17:21,624 --> 01:17:25,000
See... it's cold water.
687
01:17:25,874 --> 01:17:29,875
Miss Silvani, for 7 years
I've been trying to tell you...
688
01:17:29,958 --> 01:17:32,000
Oh, well!
689
01:17:38,999 --> 01:17:42,750
What? Yes!
690
01:17:43,374 --> 01:17:48,250
- What did she say? -
She said that... I mean...
691
01:17:48,333 --> 01:17:51,834
- ...enjoy your meal. - You are so wise!
- Yes, but...
692
01:17:51,916 --> 01:17:54,917
Why'd they do that?
693
01:17:55,999 --> 01:18:00,042
- Why did they throw dishes?
- Here?
694
01:18:00,124 --> 01:18:04,250
It's a typical Japanese custom.
695
01:18:04,333 --> 01:18:08,084
The Russians throw glasses,
here they throw dishes.
696
01:18:08,166 --> 01:18:11,292
Please, do that too, please.
697
01:18:11,374 --> 01:18:14,917
I'm afraid I can't scream so well.
698
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,625
Just one time, for me.
699
01:18:18,708 --> 01:18:21,625
- I can do that.
- Good.
700
01:18:22,584 --> 01:18:27,750
Bravo, that was a good scream.
701
01:18:27,834 --> 01:18:32,834
- What are you doing? - I am checking
the water temperature.
702
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:38,500
Anyway, I've been trying to tell you...
703
01:18:47,999 --> 01:18:50,667
Alive?
704
01:18:50,750 --> 01:18:54,667
- What?
- He'll cook them "alla livornese".
705
01:18:54,750 --> 01:18:57,459
- With some garlic.
- Yes, yes.
706
01:19:04,209 --> 01:19:06,584
He chopped them.
707
01:19:11,209 --> 01:19:15,792
- Thanks. - What, raw?
- No, it's grilled.
708
01:19:16,166 --> 01:19:18,750
Raw, it's raw!
709
01:19:20,500 --> 01:19:26,334
Please, do eat.
Don't complain, smile.
710
01:19:27,209 --> 01:19:30,500
Not with your hands!
With the chopsticks!
711
01:19:32,250 --> 01:19:34,750
Got it? Use the chopsticks.
712
01:19:43,374 --> 01:19:46,084
I am sorry.
713
01:20:15,583 --> 01:20:17,625
Good!
714
01:20:22,499 --> 01:20:26,750
Mr Fantozzi, you cheated me,
you're fatter than before.
715
01:20:27,083 --> 01:20:30,584
Not really, it's because
of the Japanese food...
716
01:20:30,667 --> 01:20:33,209
Do you know Buddha?
717
01:20:38,291 --> 01:20:40,334
"Ghiri ghi."
718
01:20:40,792 --> 01:20:44,417
Fine, you eat this crap,
but be quick,...
719
01:20:44,499 --> 01:20:47,625
'cause I'm fed up of you
and this place!
720
01:20:49,209 --> 01:20:51,417
What is this?
721
01:20:52,417 --> 01:20:59,750
- Finally some beef.
722
01:21:04,583 --> 01:21:11,917
- Pier Ugo! - What...
- You murdered a Pekinese!
723
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:16,209
It was a mistake!
I am not a murderer!
724
01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:21,459
It's not my fault, I swear.
I didn't mean it.
725
01:21:21,834 --> 01:21:26,250
Please, believe me.
It's a misunderstanding.
726
01:21:26,374 --> 01:21:31,250
I will make "hara-kiri" with the
chopsticks, you help me.
727
01:21:31,750 --> 01:21:35,250
- It's under the table.
- I am sorry.
728
01:21:35,666 --> 01:21:40,542
I'll kill myself in the pool
of the raw muttels!
729
01:21:48,249 --> 01:21:54,750
My trusted disciples!
High priest, give me bread!
730
01:21:54,917 --> 01:22:00,500
No bread here, only rice.
Bread is forbidden.
731
01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:05,000
Then, I'll make an exception...
732
01:22:05,084 --> 01:22:09,375
..I'll multiply...
733
01:22:09,999 --> 01:22:12,042
..the...
734
01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:17,709
Fish and rice....
735
01:22:22,291 --> 01:22:25,875
The forgiveness of Miss Silvani
cost Fantozzi a very high price.
736
01:22:25,959 --> 01:22:31,792
A litter of Pekinese,
directly coming from Hong Kong....
737
01:22:32,791 --> 01:22:34,834
I'm so excited.
738
01:22:35,334 --> 01:22:39,917
Fresh air. Is it too windy for you,
Fantozzi?
739
01:22:40,542 --> 01:22:45,334
- No, thanks. - You'll regret
having brought a third person.
740
01:22:45,416 --> 01:22:51,209
That's fine for me,
I could have never come alone with you.
741
01:22:51,292 --> 01:22:55,917
- Is the hotel warm?
- Which hotel?! I know everybody here.
742
01:22:55,999 --> 01:22:58,959
They'll want to invite us.
743
01:22:59,041 --> 01:23:02,167
Carboni told so much bullshit...
744
01:23:02,249 --> 01:23:05,709
...that at 1,600 meters Fantozzi
got competitive hallucinations.
745
01:23:05,792 --> 01:23:08,959
- I've been a skiing champion.
- What?
746
01:23:09,042 --> 01:23:12,167
I was on the championship skiing team.
747
01:23:12,333 --> 01:23:15,417
- How nice.
- Yes.
748
01:23:15,499 --> 01:23:22,167
- You'll show us.
- I haven't skied for 10 years. - What?
749
01:23:22,334 --> 01:23:27,292
- I haven't skied for 20 years.
- Speak louder!
750
01:23:27,375 --> 01:23:33,417
I haven't skied for 30 or 35 years!
751
01:23:41,458 --> 01:23:46,584
Hi, Claudio!
Miss Countess, how are you?
752
01:23:48,250 --> 01:23:54,667
Hi, see you soon!
Cheers! Cheers!
753
01:23:57,667 --> 01:24:03,417
- Carboni knows everybody.
- I am not like him.
754
01:24:07,874 --> 01:24:09,917
Here we are.
755
01:24:11,417 --> 01:24:14,875
- Shall we stop here?
- Sure, we'll have a drink.
756
01:24:15,667 --> 01:24:19,000
Everybody is here.
757
01:24:20,083 --> 01:24:24,292
- Andrea, the usual.
- Which usual?
758
01:24:25,249 --> 01:24:30,209
The usual. You are here too.
When did you arrive?
759
01:24:30,458 --> 01:24:34,584
Welcome, how are you?
Hi, Diana. Hi, dear.
760
01:24:34,749 --> 01:24:38,834
- What people. - Shall we sit there?
- Who's he?
761
01:24:40,041 --> 01:24:43,959
- Look at that.
- Where did they find him?
762
01:24:44,584 --> 01:24:49,792
- Where is he coming from?
- Maybe he fell from the snow.
763
01:24:50,374 --> 01:24:54,667
- What's that peak over there?
- Which one? - That one.
764
01:24:54,749 --> 01:24:58,917
- It's the wisdom tooth.
- I didn't recognize it.
765
01:24:58,999 --> 01:25:03,625
I'll wait for you tonight to eat polenta.
766
01:25:03,958 --> 01:25:10,042
- What have you done? Did you hibernate?
- Yes, but I can already move one arm.
767
01:25:10,124 --> 01:25:13,709
- Did we meet before?
- No, but I know you.
768
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:18,459
- Countess Serbelloni Mazzanti Vien
Dal Mare. - Then we know each other!
769
01:25:18,708 --> 01:25:22,125
She was the daughter of one of the
company's major shareholders.
770
01:25:22,209 --> 01:25:25,834
And he had had the honor
escort her to the train station ...
771
01:25:25,916 --> 01:25:29,042
...like in a spy story.
772
01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:35,584
Run, I am here! Run!
Quick!
773
01:25:37,917 --> 01:25:43,000
- Tell me who's the murderer, at least!
- Ok, wait.
774
01:25:45,042 --> 01:25:52,959
- It's Vilan Chesserton Junior.
- What? - Vilan Chesserton Junior!
775
01:25:53,874 --> 01:25:58,125
- Who are you?
- Fantozzi, the guy from the spy story.
776
01:25:58,249 --> 01:26:04,125
- Sure! Fantozzi, how are you dear?
- I...
777
01:26:04,208 --> 01:26:08,292
Carboni, may I introduce you to
Countessa Serbelloni Mazzanti?
778
01:26:08,374 --> 01:26:12,334
Countessa, my pleasure.
We met before, didn't we?
779
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:15,084
- Mauritius, Seychelles.
- Maybe.
780
01:26:15,167 --> 01:26:17,709
This is accountant Fantozzi.
781
01:26:19,999 --> 01:26:23,500
Tonight I'm cooking polenta,
I'll be waiting for you.
782
01:26:23,584 --> 01:26:28,125
- Sure, we'll be on time.
- Good.
783
01:26:28,208 --> 01:26:31,500
- Fantozzi, you can come too.
- Thanks.
784
01:26:32,209 --> 01:26:36,875
- Maybe later. - Alfonsina,
you are wonderful. - Hi, Gigio.
785
01:26:36,959 --> 01:26:38,792
Elena, how are you?
786
01:26:38,874 --> 01:26:42,500
- Hello! - Miss countess.
- How are you? - Fine, thanks.
787
01:26:43,916 --> 01:26:48,375
- This is my friend, countess Serbelloni.
- Miss Silvani.
788
01:26:48,459 --> 01:26:51,500
- He's Fantozzi, you already know him.
- My pleasure.
789
01:26:51,584 --> 01:26:54,250
After that awful diamond punch...
790
01:26:54,333 --> 01:26:59,209
..the countess introduced him
to a couple of friends.
791
01:26:59,292 --> 01:27:03,542
Miss Bolla, Mrs and Mrs Bertani,
Countess Ruffino,...
792
01:27:03,624 --> 01:27:08,167
..Miss Coronari, Baron Ricasoli,
Marquis AntĂnori...
793
01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:10,834
..and the MorettĂ's, the ones of the beer.
794
01:27:10,916 --> 01:27:15,292
Halfway through the round of introductions,
FantozzĂ was already drunk.
795
01:27:15,374 --> 01:27:18,459
- Engineer Riccadonna.
- Hello! - Fantozzi.
796
01:27:19,333 --> 01:27:24,250
- Martini and Rossi.
- Fantozzi!
797
01:27:24,541 --> 01:27:31,417
- Mr Campari and his girlfriend.
- Fantozzi. - Hi. - Zampozzi.
798
01:27:33,334 --> 01:27:36,125
And the daughter of Sambuca Molinari.
799
01:27:36,208 --> 01:27:41,042
- Something to drink?
- No, thanks, no more.
800
01:27:41,166 --> 01:27:43,625
- Maybe a small beer.
- A small one.
801
01:27:44,166 --> 01:27:47,625
- I'm coming! - Your beer.
- A small beer.
802
01:28:25,874 --> 01:28:28,667
Excuse me, I'll go out for a moment.
803
01:29:21,625 --> 01:29:25,709
Guys, the polenta is ready!
Ready!
804
01:29:25,834 --> 01:29:29,875
- Ready for the polenta!
- Fantozzi? - Fantozzi?
805
01:29:29,959 --> 01:29:34,459
- Do you want a fork? - No, I'm on a diet.
- She eats only if I feed her.
806
01:29:34,542 --> 01:29:37,209
But the polenta is compulsory.
807
01:29:37,625 --> 01:29:40,209
There are the sausages too!
808
01:29:44,124 --> 01:29:48,417
- What is it?
- Fantozzi. - Unbelievable
809
01:29:49,249 --> 01:29:56,334
- Look at that!
- I just wanted to make a joke!
810
01:30:00,749 --> 01:30:04,875
- He's so funny.
- He's also a skiing champion!
811
01:30:05,041 --> 01:30:08,500
- Really? - He was on the team!
- Really? - On the team!
812
01:30:09,625 --> 01:30:14,167
Good, tomorrow everybody goes
on "the big one" with the champion!
813
01:30:14,249 --> 01:30:17,292
No, I've already eaten, thanks.
814
01:30:17,499 --> 01:30:21,959
They rent flophouses
in the cellars of the Post Office.
815
01:30:22,250 --> 01:30:25,750
Miss Silvani slept
in the kitchen-toilet.
816
01:30:25,833 --> 01:30:29,917
Fantozzi shared a dramatic
wedding bed with CarbonĂ.
817
01:30:35,083 --> 01:30:38,167
Gangway! Gangway!
818
01:30:47,499 --> 01:30:50,917
Here's our champion!
819
01:30:51,874 --> 01:30:54,125
Hey!
820
01:30:54,625 --> 01:30:58,500
- How did you dress?
- He's beautiful!
821
01:30:59,208 --> 01:31:03,625
- Champion, shall we start the match?
- The snow is wonderful.
822
01:31:04,374 --> 01:31:07,959
- The slope is frozen.
Hang in here! - I'd rather walk.
823
01:31:08,042 --> 01:31:10,584
Are you crazy? It's 6km away.
824
01:31:16,125 --> 01:31:19,667
See you over there!
825
01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:49,042
- Shall we do the straight one?
- Yes, but that wall is scary.
826
01:31:49,374 --> 01:31:54,459
- Champion, how far can we go ahead?
- Let them go ahead.
827
01:31:54,541 --> 01:31:59,917
- Just count till.
- Ok. - Go!
828
01:32:01,666 --> 01:32:04,750
One, two, three, four, five...
829
01:32:08,542 --> 01:32:12,875
- Fantozzi, come on!
- Fantozzi, you can go down now!
830
01:32:13,459 --> 01:32:17,084
I'm coming, just finished counting!
831
01:32:17,541 --> 01:32:20,625
..97, 98, 99, 100...
832
01:32:23,624 --> 01:32:29,292
..103,104,105,106,107,108,109,... 110!
Ah!
833
01:32:34,459 --> 01:32:36,500
Go, you!
834
01:32:59,459 --> 01:33:01,500
Help!
835
01:33:02,375 --> 01:33:04,417
Gangway!
836
01:33:06,041 --> 01:33:08,292
- Come on!
- Accountant!
837
01:33:23,584 --> 01:33:25,625
Careful!
838
01:33:26,542 --> 01:33:28,584
Careful!
839
01:33:28,958 --> 01:33:31,000
Out of the way!
840
01:33:38,541 --> 01:33:40,917
Careful! I am sorry!
841
01:33:54,166 --> 01:33:58,584
- There!
- Help! - Careful!
842
01:33:59,249 --> 01:34:02,250
- Hands down!
- Let's roll in the mud!
843
01:34:13,459 --> 01:34:17,417
The other ones arrived
almost together.
844
01:34:17,500 --> 01:34:21,542
No sign of Fantozzi.
845
01:34:21,625 --> 01:34:26,417
After 1 hour and 30 minutes
a ski with a ski boot arrived.
846
01:34:28,084 --> 01:34:34,084
After 1 hour and 70 minutes, a pole
and a barrel of whisky.
847
01:34:39,124 --> 01:34:45,209
Then, a lock of hair, two molars,
and the forefinger of his hand.
848
01:34:45,291 --> 01:34:49,125
And finally, in an awful silence
of the deep night,...
849
01:34:49,208 --> 01:34:52,000
..FantozzĂ gliding like a lion's skin.
850
01:34:52,084 --> 01:34:56,750
He imagined himself captain Nobileone
in the hell of the North Pole.
851
01:34:56,833 --> 01:35:03,625
Titina? Has anybody seen my dog Titina?
852
01:35:03,709 --> 01:35:07,792
You, "marquise" Zappi,
did you see my dog?
853
01:35:07,875 --> 01:35:13,334
- She's in the red tent.
- Don't act like this, Fantozzi.
854
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:19,709
- Have a drink. - Thanks Titina.
I am out of shape.
855
01:35:24,084 --> 01:35:29,417
When he awoke,
he was in the kitchen toilet.
856
01:35:32,375 --> 01:35:34,417
Slowly.
857
01:35:36,000 --> 01:35:39,500
Hey, you're making me fall.
858
01:35:46,042 --> 01:35:49,917
- Darling.
- My love.
859
01:35:58,459 --> 01:36:03,292
FantozzĂ, reacting to that
declaration of love,...
860
01:36:03,374 --> 01:36:07,917
...asked and obtained a transfer
to another office.
861
01:36:11,084 --> 01:36:14,042
- Y 7.
- Water.
862
01:36:18,292 --> 01:36:21,792
Accountant! Fantozzi?
863
01:36:30,125 --> 01:36:33,750
Fate decided that he had to stay
in the room of a certain Folagra.
864
01:36:33,834 --> 01:36:37,584
The black sheep, or rather,
the red sheep of the company.
865
01:36:37,833 --> 01:36:41,459
He was an extreme left wing
intellectual.
866
01:36:41,542 --> 01:36:46,084
Who everybody, including Fantozzi,
had always avoided...
867
01:36:46,166 --> 01:36:50,834
...for fear of being compromised
in the managers' unforgiving eyes.
868
01:37:13,374 --> 01:37:17,917
But because of his contact with Folagra...
869
01:37:18,000 --> 01:37:22,334
...Fantozzi found a new reason to live:
politics.
870
01:37:23,416 --> 01:37:26,500
..And counter-revolution,
I don't know if you understand.
871
01:37:27,666 --> 01:37:33,750
And with the formation of natural groups,
I don't know if you understand.
872
01:37:33,833 --> 01:37:39,959
In an urban collective place we must think
about bringing about a congestion...
873
01:37:41,374 --> 01:37:45,542
...profiting, but in a modest way.
874
01:37:47,708 --> 01:37:52,292
So, what shall we do?
We must destroy the top.
875
01:37:52,375 --> 01:37:54,417
Do you understand or not?
876
01:37:56,584 --> 01:38:01,875
- What are you doing? - I brought you
some food. - I'll eat later.
877
01:38:01,958 --> 01:38:06,542
I'll just have some milk, go to bed.
I must study.
878
01:38:06,625 --> 01:38:08,792
After three months of studying...
879
01:38:08,875 --> 01:38:13,959
..Fantozzi saw the truth,
and he got slightly upset, or actually...
880
01:38:14,042 --> 01:38:18,459
..he got really angry.
They cheated me!
881
01:38:18,541 --> 01:38:23,000
- Who?
- The bourgeoisie, the multinationals!
882
01:38:24,083 --> 01:38:28,292
They wanted me to believe that
I had a job because they were nice people.
883
01:38:28,374 --> 01:38:32,667
- Please, Ugo.
- Compliant and grateful? No way!
884
01:38:33,959 --> 01:38:38,584
One morning he entered the office
with long hair,...
885
01:38:38,749 --> 01:38:40,792
..and a mysterious pack.
886
01:38:54,166 --> 01:38:57,750
Cowards!
You are all against me!
887
01:39:02,666 --> 01:39:05,625
What have I done to you?
Twenty years of my life!
888
01:39:05,708 --> 01:39:08,542
I'll show you!
889
01:39:16,083 --> 01:39:18,125
Come down!
890
01:39:27,042 --> 01:39:29,375
You did it, didn't you, Fantozzi?
891
01:39:31,749 --> 01:39:33,792
Come.
892
01:39:34,084 --> 01:39:38,292
That was the Galactic Director
himself.
893
01:39:39,124 --> 01:39:44,792
The one that no employee
has ever seen.
894
01:39:44,917 --> 01:39:49,334
In fact, it was rumored
that he didn't even exist.
895
01:39:49,583 --> 01:39:54,125
That he was not human,
but an abstract entity.
896
01:40:03,749 --> 01:40:09,125
Around the 19th floor he had
a monstrous hallucination.
897
01:40:11,875 --> 01:40:15,375
Of being crucified in the lunchroom.
898
01:41:18,124 --> 01:41:24,792
Excuse me,... is this...
is this your room?
899
01:41:24,875 --> 01:41:28,542
- Sure.
- What about the 100 rubber plants?
900
01:41:28,625 --> 01:41:31,000
And the chairs made of human skin?
901
01:41:31,084 --> 01:41:35,542
The big aquarium where the luckiest
employees can swim in?
902
01:41:35,624 --> 01:41:41,084
Just rumors, dear Fantozzi,
to create subversive propaganda.
903
01:41:42,958 --> 01:41:49,834
- Please, sit down.
- Where shall we go...?
904
01:41:49,917 --> 01:41:55,667
- Sit down, here.
- Here? In your chair? - Sure.
905
01:41:55,750 --> 01:41:59,834
Some water? A piece of bread?
906
01:41:59,917 --> 01:42:05,167
- Can I eat it together with you?
- Sure.
907
01:42:05,250 --> 01:42:08,750
- What's the difference between you and me?
- There is.
908
01:42:08,833 --> 01:42:10,917
What do you mean by difference?
909
01:42:10,999 --> 01:42:14,667
Surely you're not telling me
that we are equal?
910
01:42:14,750 --> 01:42:18,959
You are the masters, the slavers.
We are the starving ones!
911
01:42:19,042 --> 01:42:24,667
Dear Fantozzi, it's just a matter
of words, of understanding.
912
01:42:24,749 --> 01:42:28,292
You say masters,
and I say employers.
913
01:42:28,375 --> 01:42:32,584
You say slavers,
and I say wealthy.
914
01:42:32,667 --> 01:42:36,167
You say starvers,
and I say lower class.
915
01:42:36,249 --> 01:42:40,750
- But for the rest, I think the same way as you do.
- What?
916
01:42:40,834 --> 01:42:43,209
I am an enlightened man, like yourself.
917
01:42:44,000 --> 01:42:48,125
And I am convinced that in this world
there are many iniquities to cure.
918
01:42:48,209 --> 01:42:54,792
I think the same way as you do,
and the same way Mr Folagra does.
919
01:42:55,209 --> 01:42:59,459
But excuse me, Sir...
920
01:42:59,584 --> 01:43:04,084
You're not going to tell me that you are
a communist?
921
01:43:09,875 --> 01:43:14,334
Well, not exactly a communist.
922
01:43:14,416 --> 01:43:18,750
I am a moderate progressive.
923
01:43:20,459 --> 01:43:23,084
But what do you plan to do
about all these grievances...
924
01:43:23,166 --> 01:43:27,792
..and all these injustices?
925
01:43:28,584 --> 01:43:32,584
Well, this would require...
926
01:43:33,166 --> 01:43:38,250
..that for every single problem,
all the men of good will,...
927
01:43:38,333 --> 01:43:42,959
...men like you and me, start to...
928
01:43:43,042 --> 01:43:46,000
- Please, sit down.
- Here, may I?
929
01:43:46,083 --> 01:43:51,375
They would need to start to meet
together without any violence and talk.
930
01:43:51,459 --> 01:43:54,542
Until we reach an agreement.
931
01:43:55,124 --> 01:44:00,459
But, excuse me, Your Holiness,
this way will take at least 1000 years.
932
01:44:00,541 --> 01:44:03,750
I can wait.
933
01:44:05,292 --> 01:44:07,334
Thanks.
934
01:44:07,916 --> 01:44:13,917
So, the only missing thing would be
the chair made of human skin.
935
01:44:17,999 --> 01:44:20,042
It does exist?!
936
01:44:24,458 --> 01:44:28,334
- Human skin. - Yes.
- Accountant Fonelli...
937
01:44:28,416 --> 01:44:30,459
I recognize him!
938
01:44:31,916 --> 01:44:37,084
Nice. What about the aquarium
of the employees?
939
01:44:42,166 --> 01:44:48,042
It does exist! The aquarium!
Wonderful.
940
01:44:48,834 --> 01:44:55,542
What a show! Here's Miss Perissi.
And mechanic Mr Molli.
941
01:44:57,250 --> 01:45:01,709
And the janitor Tritti, chosen.
And accountant Bulzoni.
942
01:45:04,292 --> 01:45:10,584
As I can see, Your Holiness,
you don't have the mullet.
943
01:45:11,834 --> 01:45:14,292
May I have the honor?
944
01:45:15,125 --> 01:45:19,792
Alright, you may.
945
01:45:22,042 --> 01:45:28,334
- Thanks. - But be always,
respectful and faithful.
946
01:45:28,417 --> 01:45:30,459
I will, your almighty.
947
01:45:57,709 --> 01:46:01,000
Accountant Fantozzi Ugo,
ID 7820l8-a.
948
01:46:02,249 --> 01:46:04,959
From the Accidents Department.
76348
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