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And... Their hair. Oh my god!
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People! People.
3
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Hey!
4
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Oh my god!
5
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:28,840
Hey!
6
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,220
I wanna hug you!
7
00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:32,359
We're quarantined.
8
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Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Bring it!
9
00:00:34,980 --> 00:00:38,100
You smell even better than I remember!
10
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,340
Hey, buddy!
11
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,600
Wait. Oh, no. How did it happen?
12
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:56,360
And we are very excited for you to meet
Patrizia.
13
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,120
Patrizia is a dog? Your text made it
seem like you were running a room to
14
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,660
sexy hairdresser. Isn't she chic? She's
my goal weight.
15
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:10,940
Get a picture of us.
16
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Cheese.
17
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,740
Yes.
18
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What a spread.
19
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And balloons?
20
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:32,800
Yeah, it's for all the birthdays that
we've met. And the one with the donut is
21
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,080
for Jack's hemorrhoid surgery.
22
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:46,740
Okay, it's okay.
23
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,400
Are we not masking?
24
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We're outside. We all stayed home for
two weeks. I think we're good.
25
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:54,420
Yeah, okay.
26
00:01:55,260 --> 00:01:58,940
Yeah, honey, I don't think you can catch
anything six feet apart. Let's go next.
27
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,120
Have some wine.
28
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,280
Oh, shit, Jack, that's mine.
29
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,620
Nick, can you toss me that hand
sanitizer?
30
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:15,420
Are you going to put this in your mouth?
31
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:17,460
No.
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00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,780
I'm going to put it in my butt and do a
handstand.
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00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:33,120
So explain to me these sweaters. Oh,
okay. Oh, okay. Well, thank you for
34
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:37,980
These are from our favorite Instagram
account. It's called Jeffrey Knits It,
35
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he's actually blind.
36
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,360
I can tell by the sweaters.
37
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:47,960
And these are meant to raise
awareness... That you are both dorks.
38
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It's working for you.
39
00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:55,420
Hey, if you think this is dorky, you're
going to hate this. Oh, maybe not. Yeah,
40
00:02:55,420 --> 00:03:00,380
since it all started, we have been
reading each other a poem every night.
41
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,860
No, no, no, no, no. I hate you. I hate
you. Say whatever you want, but we have
42
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:07,560
not had one argument since March 10th.
43
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,500
Maybe you should run her a little bit.
44
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:14,160
What? Run her a little trot. Yeah, like
a dog show.
45
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,360
Okay, okay.
46
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:20,940
Listen, tomorrow, there is a talent
show. It's mandatory.
47
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,320
Lila and I made a sign and a trophy.
48
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:28,600
All right. Oh, okay, Supermom. You have
no idea. When I first met this one, she
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00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,100
was this fearless punk rock chick.
50
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:35,220
Okay. Hanging out, smoking cigarettes
outside of Arlene's grocery.
51
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:41,860
First thing she ever said to me, God,
you're a douchebag. Yeah. And I was
52
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:45,220
oh, I am definitely going to marry that
mean lady.
53
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:50,600
Now, she takes care of us. And you come
up with these fun little creative
54
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,620
adventures and lift our spirits.
55
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,460
Danny, she's still very nervous.
56
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,400
Maybe she's keying off your energy.
Relax.
57
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,140
It's all for Lila, right?
58
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:05,640
Honestly, if we didn't have a kid, we
probably would have drank ourselves to
59
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,640
death months ago.
60
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080
Wow.
61
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:10,740
Should we have a kid?
62
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,140
I have seaters.
63
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,240
Seats. Let's eat some.
64
00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:22,000
It's getting cold. Should we maybe grab
the heaters from the deck?
65
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,660
No. Let's go inside.
66
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,240
Good idea. Well, are we sure about that?
67
00:04:26,940 --> 00:04:31,760
Like, you know, I know I agreed to come,
but I brought a sleeping bag so we
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00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:32,659
could sleep in the car.
69
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:34,720
Jack, we did all the things. We're safe.
70
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:35,899
Come on.
71
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:41,020
Anybody want to watch a movie? Yeah. Has
anybody seen The Queen's Gambit? Yes.
72
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:46,600
Her eyes are so big.
73
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,940
You think that makes her better at
chess?
74
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,400
Probably.
75
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,080
Oh, you wear your Jeffrey Knitson, and
I'll change.
76
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,320
Good.
77
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,080
Did everyone think I'm being insane?
78
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,280
No. But, you know, you could relax a
little bit.
79
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:20,680
Oh, hey.
80
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,600
We read through our poem last night.
81
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:24,860
Oh, jeez.
82
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,240
What do we got here?
83
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:32,420
Ode to a Nightingale by John Keats.
Okay.
84
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:34,680
My heart aches.
85
00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:39,850
and a drowsy numbness pains my sense, as
though of hemlock I had drunk.
86
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,130
How long is this one?
87
00:05:41,170 --> 00:05:42,170
A page and a half.
88
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,790
Or emptied some dull opiate to the
drain.
89
00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:47,950
Because I feel like I hear people
downstairs getting breakfast.
90
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,690
Smells like he's doing bacon.
91
00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:54,970
But being too happy in thine happiness,
that thou light winged dry to the trees
92
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:58,650
in some melodious plot of beech and
greens and shadows...
93
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,560
Come on, eat.
94
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:19,260
It's two days now. She won't eat. Well,
she definitely ate something because I
95
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:22,960
found a juicy turd on the stairs this
morning. Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
96
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:27,320
No, no, no, that was me. I had tequila
last night.
97
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,650
She doesn't like laughter.
98
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,670
How long have you had this dog?
99
00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:36,890
Five weeks.
100
00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:38,129
Do you love her?
101
00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:40,290
That feels like a treat question. She
costs $5 ,000.
102
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:43,410
I'm just saying, a dog is not a child.
103
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:47,390
And if it's not a good fit, then you
could find a different home for her.
104
00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:52,430
There's a couple right down the road
here, huge animal rescue people. Yeah,
105
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,570
have a pot -bellied pig and so many
senior cats.
106
00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:55,870
I bet they'd take her.
107
00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:57,650
We'll figure something out, Nick.
108
00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:01,590
We're just as qualified to be Patricia's
parents as any two upstate lesbians. I
109
00:07:01,590 --> 00:07:03,430
never said they were lesbians. They are.
110
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:05,250
I know, but I never said that.
111
00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:10,370
Oh,
112
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,290
it's working.
113
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:18,930
Oh, my God. Hi, can you see me?
114
00:07:19,510 --> 00:07:21,370
This technology is amazing.
115
00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:24,490
Hey, Dad, we're doing a talent show.
116
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And I'm going to win.
117
00:07:26,690 --> 00:07:27,890
Pull your jets, big guy.
118
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:29,750
Oh, my God.
119
00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:40,810
Mom,
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00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:42,830
move into the camera.
121
00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:44,090
You're not on the camera.
122
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,950
I see you just fine, baby.
123
00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:47,410
Okay, let's just start.
124
00:08:14,629 --> 00:08:18,350
My dear lady disdain, are you yet
living?
125
00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:22,570
Courtesy itself must convert to disdain
if you are in her presence. That's some
126
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,330
boring play they did in college.
127
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:25,830
Jack, mute.
128
00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:34,730
A lot of work text. Everything okay?
129
00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,260
Yeah. It's all good.
130
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:45,520
Thank you! Oh, my God!
131
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,440
This is too much joy for me! I love the
world!
132
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,740
I want to make love to all of you!
133
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:52,960
Please!
134
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:59,880
In the spirit of Riverdance, I bring you
Lake Dance.
135
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,330
Damn it.
136
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:06,629
What's wrong?
137
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,830
Well, Kate's not feeling well, so I sent
her upstairs to do a test.
138
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:11,110
Wait, home tests?
139
00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:12,670
Where did you get those?
140
00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:16,910
Yeah, our school nurse, Teresa,
volunteers at a clinic, so she slipped
141
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:18,030
because I have pretty eyes.
142
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:19,790
Bad news.
143
00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:21,870
It's bright red.
144
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:25,490
Oh. How in the hell? We should go home,
I guess.
145
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:28,290
No, we can't all go in the car. You
might get Beth sick.
146
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:32,070
No, no, no. Honey, just go up to Lila's
room. I'll make you some tea and toast.
147
00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:37,590
How'd this happen?
148
00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:39,410
Huh? Who broke quarantine?
149
00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:41,510
Nick, did you golf?
150
00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,290
No. What about you two? Huh?
151
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:49,670
Any parties with your other hotter
friend group? No. Calm down, Dr. Fauci.
152
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:53,710
won't calm down. Because somebody among
us has betrayed the lockdown.
153
00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:56,690
This is the worst production of Jesus
Christ Superstar I've ever seen.
154
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:08,930
Patrizia has run into the woods with a
bagel and just a little bit of my
155
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:10,350
Okay.
156
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,410
Patrizia!
157
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:14,610
Come here.
158
00:11:14,670 --> 00:11:15,670
Right now.
159
00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:19,730
Oh.
160
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:21,230
I have to walk to you?
161
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,060
Do you know where Nick Pagano lives?
162
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:38,460
Yeah, I do.
163
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,180
I told him I'd drop off his tie.
164
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:42,660
Oh.
165
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,000
Uh, well, I'll take it to him.
166
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:46,920
His family has COVID right now.
167
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:48,900
Oh.
168
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:56,160
Thank you. I'll make sure he
169
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:56,979
gets it, okay?
170
00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:57,980
Bye -bye.
171
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,030
What did you grab, that pie?
172
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:12,370
Just a second, sir.
173
00:12:13,030 --> 00:12:14,670
Okay. Come on, let's go.
174
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:15,910
Let's go, Patricia.
175
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:21,390
Hey, hey.
176
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:24,670
Hey. You gonna watch the Notre Dame game
with me? Sounds good.
177
00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:27,650
Should we also invite the chick who just
dropped this pie off for you?
178
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:30,010
What? What?
179
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:31,810
Never go into acting.
180
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,990
Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.
181
00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:35,190
Where was she here?
182
00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:36,410
None of my business.
183
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:39,280
Tighten up your game, all right? And
don't think for one second I'm going to
184
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,980
that fatal attraction pie. Danny, Danny,
Danny, Danny. What?
185
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,620
It was a... It was a near miss.
186
00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:50,580
That's all it was. I got a little too
friendly with an actuary. Nick, I don't
187
00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:51,580
want to know. We kissed.
188
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:57,740
It was a stupid, drunk group dinner. And
then the next day, the world shut down.
189
00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,840
Thank God.
190
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:05,300
Lockdown saved me, Danny. Being home,
here.
191
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,490
With Anne and Lila?
192
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:08,629
Woke you up?
193
00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:09,630
Yes.
194
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:16,490
I have not said anything even remotely
flirty to her in months. She keeps
195
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:21,350
texting you. No shit, Sherlock. I am so
grateful that nothing more happened.
196
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:22,710
Congratulations.
197
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,570
Maybe you should tell your wife that
because she flinches every time you
198
00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:31,270
a text. She doesn't... Oh.
199
00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:34,990
Okay. All right, I'll handle this.
200
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:36,550
I will text Maureen right now.
201
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,910
Maureen? Gross.
202
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:43,530
How is it hot and also freezing out
here?
203
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:48,290
Okay.
204
00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:57,950
No, no, what are you doing? Oh, no.
205
00:13:58,930 --> 00:13:59,930
I'm sorry.
206
00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:14,370
Sounds like your baby misses you.
207
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,950
Yeah, that's probably why my baby runs
away every ten minutes.
208
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:23,970
Also, am I crazy?
209
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,070
Or did Claude basically say he didn't
want to have children with me?
210
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:28,370
I caught that.
211
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:32,730
Maybe ask him again when he's not trying
to wrestle a dog into a ski outfit.
212
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:37,770
How's Jack?
213
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:38,910
Is he freaking out?
214
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,250
A little bit.
215
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:46,820
Open the window and scream a poem at
him? I know we're being weird.
216
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,620
But these little rituals are what he
needs right now.
217
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:55,180
You know, his great partner got so sick
she had to be intubated.
218
00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:02,580
Jesus. So now my job is to be as calm
and comforting
219
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,100
as a gravity blanket.
220
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,720
He's lucky he married you. You never
freak out.
221
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,440
Freakouts are a choice.
222
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,150
Adults. should not freak out.
223
00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:14,950
That's insane.
224
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:16,550
Say more.
225
00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:23,470
Well, it's just kind of narcissistic,
you know? It's like, oh, you get to be
226
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:25,730
one who loses their mind and creates
chaos.
227
00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,330
What a luxury.
228
00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:31,870
And why do we think we're this way?
229
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,810
And by we, I mean you.
230
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:39,330
When I was in sixth grade,
231
00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:44,570
I had to live with my aunt because my
mom wouldn't stop crying.
232
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:49,370
Wait, what?
233
00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:51,170
It's okay.
234
00:15:55,930 --> 00:16:01,270
Come on. Come on. Come on,
235
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,390
Patricia, please.
236
00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:04,410
Stop barking.
237
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:07,750
Thank you so much.
238
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:12,570
Go. Let's go. Come on. May I ask you a
question?
239
00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:18,110
When you were picking out a dog, why did
you choose one that hates you?
240
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:20,170
Okay, I have no choice.
241
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:26,490
Danny's the one who wanted a dog. I
wanted a bird named Patricia. A bird? A
242
00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:28,970
would have been so great at staying in
your apartment.
243
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:32,970
Believe me, I wish I could tell Danny to
return her to whatever store in hell he
244
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,970
bought her from.
245
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:38,530
She always goes straight for my genitals
every time I get out of the shower.
246
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:40,070
Well, I'm sorry about that.
247
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:43,270
Do you think I can talk to the lesbians
without Danny?
248
00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:46,890
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not the
right thing to do.
249
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:52,050
I don't know, man. Sometimes the right
thing to do is just whatever doesn't
250
00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:53,050
up your entire world.
251
00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:56,590
Take me to the lesbians.
252
00:16:57,770 --> 00:17:00,850
If it's meant to be, you'll find them.
253
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,599
I'm kidding. I will call Dana.
254
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:07,760
Yeah? Okay. Stay away from my genitals.
255
00:17:09,819 --> 00:17:10,819
Daddy.
256
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,220
Daddy. Hmm?
257
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,819
Patricia's gone. What do you mean,
Patricia's gone?
258
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,940
She ran away, and we look everywhere,
but we can't find her.
259
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,160
Oh.
260
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:25,079
Okay. Where are you going? No, no, no.
You're too sick to go out. Titty's Glenn
261
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:26,099
Close will skin her.
262
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,820
Huh? I gave him.
263
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,960
I need you to be honest with me, all
right? You didn't go anywhere, did you,
264
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:36,600
Lila? Like, no playdates?
265
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,020
I'm literally 15.
266
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:44,860
What about a bubble? You in some kind of
a bubble, like a school bubble?
267
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,420
Dad, you're the only one that went
anywhere.
268
00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:50,940
No, I didn't. Yeah, you went to the
clinic that Nurse Teresa works at, and
269
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:53,840
you stood in line for an hour with a
bunch of people who thought they had
270
00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:03,510
Let's taste this.
271
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:07,830
Mom, that's so salty.
272
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:12,730
Nick!
273
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:17,470
Make sure the turkey gets to 165. Okay,
that's my brain. Okay, sorry, sorry,
274
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:19,190
sorry. Throw away the potatoes.
275
00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:23,550
They're still yams. And Lila knows how
to do the Brussels sprouts. Yes, ma 'am.
276
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:35,089
Who are you texting?
277
00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:37,050
I was setting a 15 -minute timer.
278
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:46,490
Are you nuts?
279
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,070
Well, we're all going down.
280
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,080
Patricia.
281
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,880
Oh, Patricia.
282
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,840
Where the fuck did I go?
283
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,780
Are you Patty?
284
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,000
Are you Patty?
285
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:38,420
Good girl.
286
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:40,200
Patricia. Pa.
287
00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:41,660
Good girl.
288
00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:46,460
Oh, her paws are a little yeasty. Yeah,
we should throw out all that food that
289
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:47,460
guy gave us.
290
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:50,930
Look at her eyes.
291
00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:53,090
Oh, they're so beautiful.
292
00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:55,410
Let
293
00:19:55,410 --> 00:20:01,830
me
294
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:04,070
get in there.
295
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:10,550
You are home. You are home.
296
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:11,950
Besito.
297
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:13,450
Besito.
298
00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:17,390
Turn on the TV news.
299
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,300
Listen to the radio.
300
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:24,780
Everyone is concerned about COVID and
Thanksgiving, right? Two facts to keep
301
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,240
mind. COVID right now... Hey, what are
you doing?
302
00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:29,299
Stay away.
303
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,119
I'm infected.
304
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,120
I am too.
305
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:33,400
Huh?
306
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,160
Wait, we're COVID buddies.
307
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,400
God, everybody's sick.
308
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:40,240
It must be asymptomatic.
309
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,640
Okay, your worst nightmare came true.
Now what? I have news for you, buddy.
310
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,980
cannot control the universe with your
butthole. Get out.
311
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,189
Get out.
312
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:48,769
Come on.
313
00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:49,770
Everybody's mad at me.
314
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:51,810
What?
315
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:53,930
Everybody's mad at me. I can't hear what
you're saying.
316
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,570
Everybody's mad at me. Yes, I can. I can
hear.
317
00:20:56,790 --> 00:21:00,170
Come on.
318
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,510
Here, here. Take it. Take it. Take it.
319
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:06,770
Look, nobody's mad at you. It's not your
fault. No, it's your fault.
320
00:21:07,070 --> 00:21:08,070
Hold on a second.
321
00:21:08,290 --> 00:21:09,370
How am I in trouble?
322
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:13,510
You made us come here. All right? You
told me everything was going to be fine,
323
00:21:13,530 --> 00:21:14,810
and it's not fine. Okay.
324
00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:17,190
You can be mad if you want. I'm not mad.
325
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,400
Yes, you are. And whenever you pretend
not to be, it comes out sideways.
326
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:25,500
So there you go. Hit my hand as hard as
you can.
327
00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:30,020
What? No, I'll hurt you. Oh, fuck you.
You'll hurt me. I'm not hitting you, all
328
00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:34,340
right? Oh, that's right. You can't hit
me because you're America's nicest boy.
329
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,600
Stop touching me. I'm not touching you.
I'm not touching you at all.
330
00:21:40,820 --> 00:21:44,520
Good, good. Let it out. Remember, I got
the back stuff. Selfish prick.
331
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,560
You had to have your party, huh?
332
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:50,960
You always just do whatever the fuck you
want. You don't care who gets hurt. No.
333
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,540
No. I'm not that guy. Oh, you are
legendarily that guy.
334
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,940
Because I think you won the talent show.
335
00:21:58,140 --> 00:22:02,220
Because even the children understand
that you're a little fucking baby. Fuck
336
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:03,300
you. I'm trying.
337
00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:04,540
Well, not hard enough.
338
00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:09,720
I wish I was like you.
339
00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:11,940
You're such a good man.
340
00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:13,560
Take care of your...
341
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,560
Good job.
342
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,720
You can always dump this stuff on me.
343
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,180
Okay.
344
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:40,360
You crying?
345
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:41,820
No.
346
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:43,520
I'm helping you.
347
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:46,120
I win.
348
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,260
You didn't find her?
349
00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:56,740
No, Claude.
350
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,460
I sure didn't.
351
00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:00,280
I walked all over.
352
00:23:00,970 --> 00:23:02,770
and didn't see a single lost dog.
353
00:23:03,390 --> 00:23:06,890
Saw a lot of dogs with owners, but no
lost dogs.
354
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,430
What a mystery.
355
00:23:11,230 --> 00:23:14,030
Hopefully she finds a family who loves
her as much as we did.
356
00:23:14,390 --> 00:23:19,650
Well, but we'll never know because we
certainly never talked about it or chose
357
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:20,650
them.
358
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:25,870
I guess all we'll ever know is
uncertainty and heartbreak.
359
00:23:27,190 --> 00:23:28,610
Heartbreak is a strong word.
360
00:23:30,350 --> 00:23:33,410
It's like Nick said, a dog is not a
child.
361
00:23:33,950 --> 00:23:35,630
Well, thank God we don't have one of
those.
362
00:23:36,130 --> 00:23:38,790
I guess this proves that we're not cut
out for it.
363
00:23:40,050 --> 00:23:42,510
But, Danny, that's a whole different
conversation. Come on.
364
00:23:44,410 --> 00:23:45,410
Listen.
365
00:23:47,530 --> 00:23:49,670
What? Can COVID give you diarrhea?
366
00:23:50,190 --> 00:23:51,190
It can.
367
00:24:08,140 --> 00:24:11,000
There's so much food and everything
tastes like metal.
368
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,100
I can't wait to blast this everybody in
an hour.
369
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:20,680
Thank you, Jack, for the best, worst
Thanksgiving of my life.
370
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:25,120
I am sorry that I made everyone come
here.
371
00:24:26,980 --> 00:24:30,420
And I am sorry that Jack made everyone
sick.
372
00:24:36,430 --> 00:24:37,750
But I need you guys.
373
00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:39,710
Like a donkey.
374
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:45,170
Did you know that you can't just have
one donkey?
375
00:24:45,410 --> 00:24:47,710
You have to have two donkeys.
376
00:24:48,410 --> 00:24:49,830
Or else they go insane.
377
00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:51,650
This is true.
378
00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:54,230
This is true.
379
00:24:55,990 --> 00:24:56,990
Bless you, honey.
380
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,900
I thought you brought a whole pie and I
never even put it out.
381
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,260
That was glass. Why did you just throw
that out?
382
00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,220
That's a fresh pie. We can have it
tomorrow.
383
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:27,360
We don't... Are you okay?
384
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,400
The person who kept texting me was a
woman.
385
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,860
I did not sleep with her.
386
00:25:37,140 --> 00:25:38,540
I did kiss her.
387
00:25:40,959 --> 00:25:42,720
Stupid, meaningless flirtation.
388
00:25:44,180 --> 00:25:47,720
And it's completely over, and it'll
never happen again.
389
00:25:51,540 --> 00:25:53,960
Yeah, but it probably will happen again,
though, right, Nick?
390
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,640
No, Annie, it won't.
391
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,400
Okay.
392
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,200
What about the woman at the golf
tournament a couple years ago, the
393
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,340
You remember the one with the nails?
394
00:26:14,850 --> 00:26:16,090
I knew it.
395
00:26:16,430 --> 00:26:17,890
I fucked up. I'm sorry.
396
00:26:19,630 --> 00:26:20,750
I love you.
397
00:26:22,030 --> 00:26:23,290
Please don't leave me.
398
00:26:24,230 --> 00:26:25,610
God, you're a douchebag.
399
00:26:26,650 --> 00:26:28,370
You don't think I'm going to leave you.
400
00:26:28,990 --> 00:26:31,750
Because you think I don't know how to
live without you.
401
00:26:32,430 --> 00:26:35,810
And that is why this is so fucking mean.
402
00:26:36,330 --> 00:26:37,910
No. Do not come near me.
403
00:26:38,370 --> 00:26:39,370
Fuck this.
404
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,140
Good night, everybody!
405
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:34,520
Good night!
406
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,580
Big League Productions
28360
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