Original subtitles

This is crazy. How long are they going to make us stay in here?

You know, let me go see what I can find out.

Cops and teachers were both civil servants.

Sir, get back inside or we will arrest you. That's what I thought. Thank you.

They got nothing new to report, so... There is nothing about it online.

Let me see.

Last thing you searched was baked by Melissa Husband.

Look, there's nothing for us to do except remain calm.

In fact, it might make us feel better if we just ignore all the chaos outside,

right?

Fuck.

I found it.

Oh, my God. The police are looking for a madman who murdered ten nurses in the

dormitory.

Oh, no, this is from 1977.

This is why I said we should just spread his ashes when we had the chance.

Oh, you knew?

You knew there was going to be a manhunt, that's why?

You don't want to be here either, toots. Oh, shit, not toots.

Okay, come on, look. We all just need to take a deep breath and calm down. Come

on, everybody, do it with me.

Inhale through your nose.

And exhale through...

Why do you mock me, you fuzzy son of a bitch?

A little cooler.

Okay.

Hey. Why didn't you tell me there was Ian and Jenny drama?

You were so excited everyone was together again. I heard you humming

Newman while checking for tics.

Don't be mad.

No, I'm not mad, but I feel like I made it worse.

It's my fault. I can't just do nothing.

You so can. I do nothing all the time. I saw a lady faint in the grocery store.

I froze.

She hit her head.

Guys, look, I know we're all tired and hangry, but since we're trapped here

anyway, it might be a nice opportunity to clear the air.

Jack, no.

I know it's uncomfortable, but you two are both good people, both strong,

women. Oh, Jesus Christ. God, you suck.

See? Some common grand already, huh?

Look, I truly believe that this is one hard conversation away from being

Okay, fine.

Ginny, I never expected to be in charge of Nick's estate. I just wanted to go

through the proper channels and handle it the right way. By ignoring my calls

and emails.

I was advised that child support is typically handled after the child is

So what, I'm just supposed to give birth and then quick...

Walk on over to Pottery Barn and buy a baby crib in my hospital gown.

OK. OK. Both valid points. You're the one who decided to fight dirty and sue

Because I am worried about money for this baby. And you, meanwhile, are

on two houses and a boat. Because Nick was too busy humping his way through our

Marriott points to sign the divorce papers.

And there it is.

That's what this is really about?

What? You are dragging your feet on purpose because you still resent me. I

waiting until the baby.

I mean, if I wanted to be an asshole, I could have been an asshole.

My lawyer wanted me to ask for a paternity test.

Uh, Ginny, well.

Oh.

Fuck off, all of you.

And by the way, this is my area now.

Okay, well, Rocky, you start, but we'll get there.

Maybe everyone's just hangry.

Keep staying hangry. It helps.

Hey, let's go check out the manager's office for some food.

I can go with you. No, I got it.

Did it seem like he was mad at me? It seems like everybody's mad at everybody.

I was honest with him, and now he's punishing me. Oh, man, look, just get

of it and say sorry.

I apologize to Kate for shit I didn't even do.

Rain, her hating a movie, me cheating in a dream. But I'm not sorry, Jack.

I'm allowed to say how I feel and not back down.

Right? Of course.

Yeah.

You know what? I bet there's food in that snack shack.

I mean, the cops are up the road now. We could just break into the... No, we

can't. It's too dangerous. That's what they said.

Weren't you in the Italian army?

I played the trumpet.

Man, Jared is a slob behind the scenes.

Food. Food.

Come on, tuna.

Something.

Nope.

All right.

Do you think that Nick and Jenny...

Planned, this baby?

Probably not.

Most babies are unplanned.

Jack and I hemmed and hawed about when would be the right time to have a kid,

and then one weekend, Wegmans had a sale on margarita mix, and boom.

Wait, are you thinking about having a baby?

No. I don't know.

Stop looking at me like that.

When did this happen?

I mean, if I had a dollar for every time you told me, oh, thank God I don't have

kids. Girl, you'd have like $60. Calm down.

At first, we didn't want them.

We weren't willing to give up our youth, beauty, or freedom the way you all did.

We weren't using any of that stuff anyway.

At times, we would think about it more seriously, but we were just never on the

same page.

It's so hard when you don't have a biological clock.

Sure, Danny.

It is. It's not like we can have a margarita baby.

We both have to be 100 % sure at the same time through every step of a long

process.

Okay, that does sound hard. So, do you want a baby?

I don't know.

Maybe.

I've been asking myself what this next chapter of our lives is going to be.

I mean, Nick died, and I didn't. Shouldn't I do something meaningful? Not

redo my kitchen over and over again?

Okay. So what percentage sure are you right now?

42. Holy shit, that's high. It is? Yeah.

Jack and I combined, we're like 13.

Anything over 60 and you're basically one of those TLC families that has a

blonde child every eight months.

Are you going to tell Claude?

Maybe, if we survive the night.

Okay, here we go.

Thank you, Jared.

I forgive you for leaving us all to die.

Okay, there is no food, but there is vodka. It says for clean treadmill and

Sharpie on the side, but it's fine. I tasted it. Who wants some?

Give me.

What are you doing?

I think there's food in this cabinet. Smells like peanut butter.

Maybe there's cookies inside.

Wait, were you trying to guess the combination?

Why don't you just smash it open?

Well, I'm not a smasher. I'm a fixer.

There's enough broken things in the world.

You think it's written down somewhere?

Yeah, I don't know if Jared is that organized.

Okay.

Someone in the West Village will pay 18 bucks for this.

Honey, I know this weekend isn't turning out how you planned, but they'll work

it out. No, look.

This is the kind of thing, if you don't deal with it right away, it'll get

toxic. Like that black mold in our basement.

Yeah, by the way... Still haven't called the guy.

Hmm.

Marathon app says you just logged a run?

Oh, uh, yeah, I set it to add my runs automatically because I didn't want to

forget to log any miles and then accidentally mess up the training

But the whole point of the app, though, is that it doesn't let you forget.

But I'll go on later and fix it. Okay.

You gonna try again with Ann?

Oh, I don't know. I've never seen anybody that angry on a swing before.

Ann?

Ann.

Ann!

You're in my area.

Look, I am sorry about earlier, but I know you. You are kind.

and generous, and all -around great gal, right? And I cannot begin to understand

the complicated feelings you must be having towards Jenny.

I know you want to do the right thing, but at the same time, there's a part of

you that's having a hard time forgiving her.

Please, leave me alone.

You know I can't do that, Ann.

Look, I get it, all right? With Nick gone, you got to make sure that that

lasts you for the rest of your life.

And plus, you got Delilah to think about, right?

But if you could just look in the mirror and ask yourself, Ann, what is this

really about?

You want to know what this is about, Jack?

I'm a fucking moron.

That's what it's about. I am literally paralyzed because my executive

functioning is for shit.

My lawyer sent me these huge binders to decide if I wanted to, oh, put the money

in a...

Todd account or liquidate the bonds into an IRA.

And you can't do it before this date, but you have to do it before this date

because taxes. And you know what I did instead?

I put the binder in the freezer to punish it.

Well, what if you keep it simple? You just sell the boat. I can't sell the

Jack, because I traded it for two donkeys.

What the fairytale fuck?

Two? Why two?

Because... Someone told me that you have to have two or else you'll go insane.

Um, that too. I've heard that too.

So, everyone, there will not be an Anne 2 .0.

The original has turned out to be a factory reject.

And you know what the sad thing is? I really wanted to do a good job at this.

I wanted everybody to be just blown away by how generous I was. But instead, old

Annie has shit the bed yet again.

Great and so you heard all that Hey,

why

don't you take a little break? No, everybody's starving.

All right, and I learned a trick from YouTube is Hold down as you're turning,

and you can feel the catch.

Right there.

Final number's a nine.

It's a bit good.

Shit. You know what? We're all going a little stir -crazy. What if we run

the room, jog a little bit, get some depth in?

You run tiptoe like that?

I think I run differently outside.

You're going to destroy your Achilles by marathon day. My brother in Christ, she

will not be there on marathon day.

What? Yes, I will.

What's the first song on our running playlist?

Main theme from... Cars.

The last of... Star Wars.

The Mohegans.

I really wanted to do this with you. I just...

Hate running. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad.

I'm not mad.

I mean, I'm a little confused.

Yes!

Radaway. Peanut butter baked bricks.

I'm going to the snack shack.

No, Jack, the cop said stay inside.

No, it's fine.

I got it. Jack, no. Yeah, the gunman has a gun. That's why he called that.

Guys, I'm good.

Good.

Oh my gosh, you're still using mom's old coffee pot. I finally got the

TV to work.

It's a good thing you have life insurance. Life insurance?

What show is this?

I made espresso martinis.

Not bad.

I filled the Keurig with vodka instead of water.

Should I be a scientist?

No.

I've been thinking about the conversation we had coming down the

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

Listen, it doesn't matter what you don't want to be with, okay?

All that matters is now.

Agreed.

And if you're thinking about having a baby... I'm definitely not thinking

having a baby. Are you crazy?

Hey, our life is perfectly the way it is.

I love you.

I have no regrets.

Yes.

No regrets.

I love you, and I love our kitchen.

I got nachos!

Did you cut your head?

Who dropped my lard then?

Believe me, it feels as gross as it looks.

Ignore him, Ginny. Pregnancy hunger is no joke.

Oh, my God. I remember when I was nursing Lila, I ate a 14 -ounce steak

hand like it was an apple.

I still remember sucking meat juice out of her little hat.

Oh, my God.

I loved breastfeeding, though. The only thing Lila needed to survive was, like,

me and my body. It just felt so powerful.

You were good at it. Oh, remember the time I milk -ducked clogs so bad that my

breath turned purple, and I just kept going.

Nick sneaked us a picture of that.

No. It was disgusting.

I still have it as the photo that comes up when you call me. No, let me see.

Wait, do you have my phone?

Oh, my God.

I never got off the ground with nursing because I was just so wrecked from

delivery. I missed my epidural window. Ginny, whatever you do, do not miss your

window. I'm planning on going natural.

Oh, for sure. Great. Yeah, you're going to do great.

Oh, looks like a smushed plum.

Do you remember when Beth was like a week old and she spit out that huge

booger? Oh, yes.

Ran to the emergency room. Yeah, it turned out it was just something of mine

that she swallowed during birth.

Ma 'am, I am eating nachos.

I was like this. No, I'm just saying, you know, these babies teach you right

away to stay nervous.

You know, I was in the delivery room with my sister.

Mm -hmm.

Because her boyfriend, that fucking bastard, wasn't there.

He has since died, thank God.

Anyway, Marlena was pushing and pushing and pushing, and then what comes out?

A foot.

Oh, no.

Uh -huh. And what the fuck do I know? I'm 20.

I'm like, oh, my God, so cute, the foot.

Everybody started screaming.

This doctor, she comes and put her hand up my sister like she's trying to get

crackers from a vending machine.

And the next thing I see, they cut her belly.

They move aside her intestine, and they say to Marlena, your baby's coming. It's

all right. It's going to be all right.

Claude is very brave, what he means to be.

Well, anyway, at some point, they lift out this creature.

I mean, it's all covered in blood.

They suck the mouth, the nose.

Everyone is so quiet.

And then she cries.

Guys, oh, my God.

When they put it in my arms, I'm like, I think, a moment ago, this was just an

idea. Now here she is, this little person I will love forever.

She's a miracle.

It's a miracle.

Guys?

Can we talk about anything else?

I know you're not trying to scare me on purpose, but honestly, your stories are

very terrifying.

Um, Ginny?

What?

Thank God they caught him before anyone got hurt.

I mean, other than his roommate, whose penis he bit off.

You were someone's baby once.

Okay, Jenny. I think you're getting tired.

Yeah,

I can feel it.

I'll see you guys in the morning.

Hey,

I know that you're not legally allowed to... Talk to me or whatever. I just

wanted to make sure that you were okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Honestly,

Ann, I am so overwhelmed.

I wanted to do this with Nick.

You know, Kofi's going to need his father.

Yeah.

Fathers aren't really that helpful. They mostly just stand around and wait for

you to tell them what to do.

I don't know, at least twice a day, I think.

What would Nick say if he were here?

I mean, I know what he would say. He would say, you can't live in a fourth

walk -up with a baby.

If you want to have a water birth, you have to do it at a hospital.

Oh, my God.

He literally did say that last one.

Do you think he would have liked the name?

say, you can't name a baby Cove.

There's never going to be a Supreme Court Justice Cove.

Yeah, I had a feeling.

Yeah, this is weird, but I actually do know what point he wanted to use.

I never got lucky again after Lila.

If he had a son...

He always wanted to name it after his great -grandfather.

No, not all.

It's a real doozy.

I just wish I didn't have to do this alone.

Oh, my God, this light. I'm so pale. I look like Jack.

So, that conversation we had earlier,

what would you say if I said I am thinking about it?

Oh, well, I would say let's think about it together.

It is a baby, right? Like we're talking about... Yes.

Yes. Yeah? Okay.

Better not make us pay for this room tonight.

Yeah, and did you see one of the cops destroy the snack shack?

No.

Hey, I'm really sorry about the marathon.

Yeah, so what were you doing when you were supposed to be doing your runs?

I would walk to that little Italian deli in Demarest and eat a full pork

sandwich while sitting at the bus stop.

Ooh, sexy.

Why didn't you just tell me?

I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Makes sense.

Wait, no, it doesn't.

You hurt my feelings all the time.

Are you worried about me? No.

I'm just keeping my eye on you.

Well, you don't have to.

Because I'm doing good now.

Really? Yeah.

Holy shit.

Kate said it was a cop.

All right, but this is the last.

It's time.

No.

It was a big bone.

Should I just...

Don't!

Okay,

well, guess that's it.

Anyone else have anything they'd like to say?

We're having a baby. Jenny's moving in with me.

Thank you.

Big League Productions.