Original subtitles

What was your Tom Brady story again?

That he called me the greatest person ever.

Because you're a fucking liar, dude.

Great tune!

Oh, Derek, slow down.

Follow me.

Oh my god, pull over.

There's something seriously going wrong with your eyes.

Don't you pretend like you're not into this.

That's actually what happened.

No fucking way, man.

This week's episode of Revisionist History,

brought to you by the Grandmaster himself.

I embellish, I don't ruin pies.

Bri, Bri, you better get used to this, because when dating

my brother here, he's got an alternative sense of reality.

He's also got this other thing.

I can never remember the name.

It's serious.

Herpes.

That's right, it's herpes.

Shut up.

Yo, you're the one that gets that thing every time.

Wait, alternative sense?

Let's say no sense.

He still believes that Megyn Kelly was at our rush party the second year.

No, she wasn't.

I had a huge conversation with her.

She was a very nice woman.

I'm the one that convinced her to shift political views, by the way.

You were in denial.

Yo, Jill.

Jill, you remember Megyn, right?

Jill?

All right, I'm sorry, but we were in the wilderness.

Come on, it's so fascinating.

They're calling me a liar back there, and I can't get a single word out of you.

Stakeholder management.

This is the eighth edition of this fascinating document here.

It sounds riveting.

Should we learn?

Yes.

Learn, Allison.

Learn.

Allison.

Guys, here we go.

Read some of them.

Okay, to classify and prioritize the value of a contributor to said fund...

He's drawing more knowledge.

...one must evaluate risk and reward against... Hey, Derek, I got a new idea.

Uh-huh?

Roll down the window just to get some fresh air.

All right.

Here's my new plan.

We find a bridge.

We pull over.

And we just drive.

Shock, chill, right off.

You, hey, man.

This is my baby.

I got your back.

I know, but you gotta save you from this mind-numbing boredom.

Oh.

We could throw the book out.

Wow.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Come on, guys, let's throw it out.

Throw it out.

Throw it out.

Throw it out.

Throw it out.

No, don't.

No, let's call it.

Hello, everyone.

I'm here.

I'm joking.

Little jokey jokes.

Get that phone out of my face.

Okay, relax.

Relax?

Didn't seem to mind being filmed last time I checked.

Don't.

You don't?

No.

What is that?

Come on, man!

Hi, officer.

What's going on?

Logging truck overturned about a mile up.

Road's closed, I'm afraid.

Closed for?

How long?

Few hours, I'm guessing.

Maybe more.

Where you headed?

Berkshire?

Berkshire North.

Berkshire North.

Ski resort.

Best bet?

Go back to 7.

And then you have to loop around from there.

Well, how far is that?

Fifty miles, give or take.

Fifty miles?

Man!

No fucking way, bro!

Bro?

Sorry.

I'm gonna have to ask you to keep moving.

Yes, sir.

You want me to come with?

Yeah.

Oh, uh, maybe not the best idea.

Who the hell is she, anyway?

Marie?

Did you hear what she said to me?

Yeah, I'm sorry, Ali.

I didn't know she was coming.

I thought I could escape her for the weekend.

Look, I know this can't be.

Easy?

No.

People just want to believe whatever they need.

You wait for me?

Yeah, of course.

Hey, have you thought anymore about, um...

You know.

Yeah.

If I continue with the charges, they can come after me even worse.

I'm not sure it's worth it.

Yeah, I mean... I'm sure that's a risk, but...

I feel like you'll regret it if you don't.

Besides, fuck them, right?

What?

Does your mom know you talk like that?

Oh, come on.

I swear.

Sometimes.

I fucking love you, Jill.

Blue 42.

How's your shoulder feeling?

It's fine.

It's still sore as hell.

Yeah?

Because, uh...

Look, man, a couple of guys are...

wondering if maybe, uh...

Yeah?

Uh...

You were...

embellishing?

Because...

I mean, like, I don't think you were, and why would you, right?

It's just... Yeah, why would I?

It's just...

I mean, we could really use you if these

suspensions hold up, and you'd probably start, too.

The guys, they really want you.

The guys, they want me to play?

Is that what it is?

Alright, Phil, what happens sucks.

It does, but... But what?

Between you and me, these guys are our friends, and now their careers,

their lives could be ruined.

For what?

We don't know what happened.

They're not my friends.

Phil, I'm sorry, man.

I... Wait.

Okay.

What's wrong?

Your friends hate me.

That's impossible.

They just don't know you.

What do you think she did?

Copulated with the devil?

That, or she spoiled last week's episode of Game of Thrones.

I think I love you.

I love you.

Help you with something I am I thought that bears were hibernating in the winter

yeah well not that bear claw traps are illegal in Massachusetts what would you

know about it I know it's against the law and I can I didn't prove it.

So do you know anything about bears walking around

out there in the winter when they should be sleeping?

Why don't you use that little device that's glued to

your hand there and look up bear attacks Western Mass?

Service sucks.

Yeah.

I don't know for long.

See the clear cutting that they're doing.

Because of that little computer there, well, it's disrupting the bear's habitat.

It's messing with its rhythms.

So the bear thinks that it's spring and it comes out looking for food.

But there is no food.

So the men working in the trees, they become the food.

What?

So it makes it okay to just...

A dead bear is a dead bear.

It's better than a dead human.

Well, you can do it in a more humane way.

It doesn't have to suffer.

You haven't suffered a day in your life.

Have a nice day.

Hey!

What is this?

This is making you feel like a man?

You can just kill an innocent animal?

Come on, Jo.

Let's go.

What's wrong?

I'm trying to... I don't need you to do this.

What?

Need me to what?

Step in like that.

Yeah, really.

What's that supposed to mean?

Jo!

Jo!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Let's go.

Okay.

You okay?

I got the directions.

So what's the plan?

According to this, I figured out a quicker route.

A quicker route?

That's what I said.

All right, trust me.

We've been coming up here since we were kids.

Right, Matty?

Matty?

Okay.

We're good.

All right, yes.

All right, let's do this.

Let's see what this face can do.

What do you call two jalapenos having sex?

Spicy.

You okay?

Yeah.

Nice.

Stoughton Valley.

Hey, guys, listen to this.

Turn it down a sec.

Often overshadowed by the more well known kinds of things, In the unknown witch

trials of Salem, when Eunice Telly Osborn, a servant girl, began to experience

violent fits and hallucinations, the village pastor, William Stoughton,

made the swift diagnosis of possession by the devil.

Soon, other disenfranchised young women began to experience similar symptoms,

sparking a ruthless witch hunt that resulted in

12 women being convicted and hung for witchcraft.

Their anomalous behavior became attributed to the land itself.

You're gonna make a left up here.

Todd, where's the road?

This is it, right there.

Like this?

Look, I know where I'm going, all right?

Just trust me.

I didn't sign up for any of this off-road and shit.

Look, there's a service road.

It's just up a bit.

And then there is a hill, and that is our spot right there, okay?

Okay, this is a pretty loose definition of road.

Mm.

What are we waiting for?

Yeah, how far is that service road, bro?

It's like a mile maybe two, okay?

How far if we go back?

Look, we can't... It's really lame.

It's really, really lame, Jo.

Are you sure you know where you're going?

We can turn back if you want to.

Don't be such a pussy, dude.

What about you, Allison?

What do you want to do?

Would you rather drive back two hours the way we came, or

would you rather enjoy the raw beauty of unbridled nature?

Huh?

We came all this way.

Man, let's just turn back.

She's not gonna...

Gonna what?

Let's go.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah, this is gonna be fucking awesome!

That's what I'm telling you.

That's what I'm telling you.

Yup.

Yup.

Oh, no!

That severe weather alert over the western part of Massachusetts

forced authorities to close some highways and bridges.

Now, we may be looking at up to a foot of snow.

Oh, my God!

Well, I should be dreaming

Cause it's wrong for me to love you You decide.

I can't choose.

How much longer?

It's not long.

All right, we've been driving this road for well over an hour.

Where are we?

So close.

Anybody have anything to eat?

What, what?

What did you just say to me?

Nothing.

What's going on, Ally?

Nothing.

Todd, where the hell are we going, man?

We're going the right way now, all right?

Todd, just shut up for a second.

Listen to me.

I actually don't think you know where the fuck we're going.

Easy.

Okay, dude, if we don't see this road in five minutes, I'm turning us around.

Let's be honest.

Go around this bend.

That's the same path we went down an hour ago.

You've got to be kidding me.

No, you're not helping, Phil, all right?

Just go right up there.

Fucking hell.

There's gonna be a path and then...

and then there's gonna be a road.

Shit.

Okay, guys.

Let's just go back.

I think we are heading back.

I'm telling you guys, we're driving in circles.

Trust me.

All right?

Just take this right.

This is the same path.

You really have no idea where we are, do you?

Un-fucking-real, man.

Fuck.

Does anybody have reception?

No.

Me neither.

No.

Got one.

Okay, pull up your GPS.

Should we call someone and tell them we're out here first?

Jill, she's right, man.

You're not helping, Phil.

Guys, can you both just shut up?

No, guys.

Chill, please.

Lost it.

Check Ally's phone.

Look out!

Whoa!

Did I do that?

Jill, I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Let's go.

Are you okay?

It's okay.

Let's go.

I'm fine.

It's okay.

I'm so sorry.

We shouldn't even be here.

Derek, look out!

Everyone okay?

You stupid fucking idiot, man.

You drove us off the road.

Oh yeah, I found a better way, trust me?

You fucking dumbass.

Chill, Derek, it's not all Todd's fault.

Alright, whose fault is it?

Maybe if you were watching the road.

What fucking road, man?

We're gonna have to dig it out.

How bad is it?

We're blocked, we gotta fucking dig it out.

No, it's not that bad.

I will, I'll go get the snowboard and I'll go dig it out, okay?

Let's just get this out of here.

Maybe we can get there in time for a beer.

We're not getting out of here.

What?

Hey, everybody out, we're stuck, we gotta push.

One.

Oh yeah, sure, dude, just use my board.

I'm really sorry, Derek.

Ellie, I gotta go pee, you wanna come with?

No.

Hey.

Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry.

Hey, no, are you crazy?

I'm not here.

It's okay, no one can see us.

When are you gonna tell him?

You understand how my whole life changes, right?

That's exactly what you need, Jill.

One more person tells me what I need, I swear.

I'll tell him.

I promise, when we get back, I'll tell him.

I wanna be with you.

I do.

I'm sorry I got earlier.

It's fine.

Where's Allie?

I thought she was with you.

Hey, does anybody see where Allie went?

Allison?

Allison?

Allie?

Allie?

Allison?

Allison?

Allison!

How come you didn't answer?

I...

Jesus, fuck.

What did that?

Allison?

Hey.

It looks like he was killed for sport or something.

Allie, what are you doing?

It's still warm.

Allie, are you okay?

Yeah.

Let's get out of here, okay?

It's not safe here.

What happened?

Nothing.

She found a dead animal.

Dead?

I think it was fucking mutilated.

Mutilated?

Yeah, his guts were hammered.

All right, can we just do this so we can get out of here?

Sounds about a set.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, one of us needs to drive while the rest of us push.

Are you okay to drive?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Okay.

Uh, let's go.

All right.

You guys ready?

You ready?

Okay.

Give it a little bit of gas and...

Push!

Push!

Keep going!

A little more!

Good!

Push!

Keep going!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Park it!

Park it!

Nice!

Nice!

All right.

You did that on purpose!

Get the fuck out of the truck!

Why would you think you could have fucking killed her last?

You saw it!

You gave it gas!

She gave it gas!

You fucking saw her!

Stop it!

You fucking saw it!

Get off me!

Get the fuck off me!

Jill!

Fuck.

Fuck, Jill.

Don't touch me!

Don't!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

It's okay.

We need to get out of here now.

This thing isn't going anywhere.

Your friends are really fucked up.

Jill, Hallie, I...

Just chill.

Just chill.

What?

I'm sorry.

The sun's going to set soon and it's going to get a lot colder.

I need to get moving.

I want to go home.

It's okay.

I want to go home.

I know.

I know.

It's okay.

Okay.

Does anybody have a signal yet?

We need to let someone know we're out here.

We should have done that a long time ago.

Yeah.

Anyone?

Anything.

Jill.

What?

You had a signal earlier.

Guys, look.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what got into me.

Okay?

Okay?

I'm not dressed for this.

Alright, everyone.

Let's get back in the truck.

Guys, I'm going to try and get a bit higher.

See if I can get a signal.

Hey, Phillip.

Why don't you come with me?

Yeah, sure.

It's starting to snow.

You getting anything?

No.

Yo, man.

What the fu- Tell me what?

Nothing.

Okay.

You know what?

I guess I'm going to go ask Jill what this means.

Derek.

What?

Derek.

We need to focus on how we're going to get out of here, okay?

Okay.

Yeah.

Let's focus.

Sure.

Right after I have a little chat with Jill.

Do you remember what just happened?

You couldn't make this real easy for me.

It's true.

Yeah?

You know what?

As soon as we get back home, I'm getting you kicked off the team.

Bye-bye scholarship, one-way ticket back to Gary fucking Indiana.

I'll tell her you were there.

What?

That night with Allison.

The video.

You were there.

Right?

Excuse me?

Some of your friends on the team?

Yeah.

They got big mouths.

We told you.

Well, you just confirmed it.

I didn't do anything.

Exactly.

You didn't stop it.

You didn't tell Jill.

The only reason that you are not suspended with the rest of them is because they are

protecting you out of some fucked up sense of loyalty.

I left.

I didn't know.

Okay?

And what do you think you're doing here anyway?

You really think they're going to believe you some hood rat over me?

Oh, wow.

True colors, huh?

I guess we'll find out.

Derek, if we start this right now, it isn't going to end well for either of us.

We need to concentrate on how we're going to get

out of here or we are going to freeze to death.

Okay?

You and I can deal with this later.

Anything?

No.

How much gas we got left?

Quarter tank.

A few hours at most.

How far could we possibly be from the main road?

It can't be that far.

We could probably walk to it from here.

I say we just chow and wait for someone to find us.

Who knows that we're out here?

Do you have a road sign kit?

Uh...

I think in the back.

And you, Maddie?

Derek... What?

I didn't know we'd be off-roading in the fucking wasteland.

Guys, I'm sorry.

We can't stay here the night.

Someone has to go for help.

No way, bro.

We'd freeze out there.

We could freeze in here.

Better pack for a hot tub, man.

Drinking beer, not sleeping out in the woods.

What's your problem?

My problem?

Well, for starters, I'm stuck in God knows where with a bunch of lunatics who,

by the sounds of it, are the reason I might freeze to death.

No one is going to freeze to death.

I'll go.

What?

I'll go.

I'll go for help.

It's my fault.

It can't be that far until I find a signal and I'll just... I'll call someone and

I'll let them know that we're stranded.

You can't go alone.

We'll go.

What?

I'm not going anywhere.

You're definitely not leaving me here with these people.

I'll be fine.

I'll go with you.

What?

No, Allie.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Allie, listen to me.

I'm not staying in this fucking place any longer.

I'm not a fucking child, Jill!

Whoever's going better get moving.

Please be safe, man.

I was born for this shit.

You sure you want to do this?

Yeah.

Allie.

Come on, we should go.

I'll see you.

Could you not?

What?

Okay, easy.

I didn't realize I was doing it.

It's a bit of a thing with you, right?

They've been gone a really long time.

They'll be back soon.

What was that?

Animal maybe?

Hey, can we turn off the heat for a little bit?

I can't feel my toes.

Derek.

Yeah?

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

Turn off your light.

No, I'm just gonna go find some ground.

No, don't.

What the hell is that?

Allison?

Oh my god.

Allie?

Allie, are you hurt?

Come on.

Come on.

Derek, I need my phone for some light, okay?

What's wrong with her?

Derek, the phone!

Allie, what happened?

I don't know.

I don't see a cut.

Maybe it's not her blood.

Wait, wait, wait.

Where's Todd?

Hey, where's my brother?

Allison, is he okay?

Can you please tell me where my brother is?

She's in shock!

What is in her hand?

Oh shit.

He's out there.

He could be hurt.

Maddie, don't.

Christ, help!

God, help!

Allie, you're hurting me!

Guys, help me!

Maddie!

Derek, Jesus Christ, help!

I'm trying!

Your heart is racing.

Has this happened to her before?

Has she had any medication or anything?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Check her bag for medicine, guys.

Allie, wake up, please.

Please, please wake up.

Please, can you tell me where my brother is?

Can you tell me where my brother is?

Maddie, just give her a second!

What the fuck is she saying?

Allie!

Allie!

It's an anxiety pill.

They use it on people who have seizures sometimes.

My brother used to get them.

It calms the nervous system.

Let's just give her one ear.

Just put it under her tongue.

My own.

Oh, my God, it hurts!

Okay, okay, all right, you got it.

It's okay, it's got to be sure!

Here, here, here.

Okay.

Just stay still, okay?

Don't move.

Breeze, Breeze, stop moving!

Sadie, just stay still!

Stop moving!

We need to start some bleeding.

Is there a first aid kit in the car?

Derek, first aid kit!

Come on!

Maddie, Maddie, hey, hey, stay with me, okay?

I need you to take this, and I need you to press it against your neck.

Press firmly, okay?

All right, give me your finger.

Oh, fuck.

Is she dead?

No.

No, no, she's just in shock.

She fucking attacked her!

It was a seizure, Derek!

Violent fits.

It's just like she said.

What are you talking about?

The pamphlet she read.

It's this place.

It's this fucking place.

Maddie, listen to me.

What happened out there, Allie?

Where is my brother?

Get out of my way, Maddie.

Get out of my way.

Maddie!

Maddie, where are you going?

Cod is out there.

He needs our help.

I gotta go find him.

Maddie.

Maddie, we need to stay together.

Maddie, wait.

What about Bree?

What if it was your brother out there?

Would you just sit here?

Maddie, wait.

We need to wait for someone.

No one is coming.

And I'm not leaving him out there.

Todd!

Why is she...

Looks like the bleeding has stopped, but she's gonna be in a lot of pain.

When she wakes up.

She doesn't look good.

We need to get her out of here.

Yeah, I agree.

She's fucking crazy.

Not Allie.

Bree.

Are we really gonna pretend?

She just attacked me.

She attacked Bree.

Who knows what she did to Todd?

Jesus Christ, Eric.

She didn't do anything to Todd.

Whose blood is that?

I don't know.

Hers?

Or something probably attacked them.

We should put her outside.

You're kidding, right?

She would die out there.

Phil, you don't agree with this.

I mean...

I don't think that we should put her outside, but...

Something isn't right, Jill.

She's sick.

She's been traumatized.

Bundle her up.

We keep an eye on her.

And what?

Tie her to a fucking tree?

Are you crazy?

Do I need to remind you what manslaughter is?

You know what?

Actually, I'm not even indulging in this.

This is insane.

My brother used to have seizures.

Not like that.

We always used to joke around.

Like what?

Resist.

Resist?

Where's Todd?

Why is she covered in blood?

We put her outside and we watch her.

If she does anything, we claim self-defense.

Right?

What about you?

What about me?

You attacked Allison.

You crashed the truck, maybe on purpose.

I didn't crash the truck on purpose!

Well, how do we know that, huh?

Maybe you're possessed.

What?

You know what?

I don't feel comfortable with you in the truck.

Philip, help me tie him up.

You're being ridiculous.

Exactly!

Okay, fine.

But I'm tying her hands up.

If she does anything else, I'm not taking any chances.

If she pulls any more of this Linda Blair bullshit, I don't care what you do.

I'm putting her outside.

Todd!

Todd!

Todd!

Todd!

Todd!

Are you kidding me?

I saw you.

What'd you say?

Where are you going?

I'm gonna compress some snow, make an ice pack.

Try to bring down the swelling, maybe that'll help.

Hey.

Be careful.

Jill.

Look.

I just need you to know that...

I know something's going on... with you guys.

Eric.

He's a liar.

He'll say anything.

He lied to the coaches about the video.

He was there.

He didn't stop it.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Shit, no.

Come on, come on.

Fuck.

I'm gonna fucking freeze to death.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Oh.

🎵

🎵 🎵

🎵 We need to use everything we can to stay warm.

Okay.

Here.

Okay.

Give me that.

Move.

Move.

Move.

Here.

Open this.

What do you want me to do with this?

Open it and dump it.

Dump it?

Yeah.

You can eat it.

You'll find out.

I'm forcing poor hypothermia.

Shh.

Shh.

Be so careful.

Slow.

Slow.

Yeah.

I... Okay.

Okay.

Don't breathe.

Okay.

She'll give us enough heat to stay through the night.

God.

God.

Why is this happening?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why is she doing that?

I can't fucking stand it anymore.

Can you shut her up, please?

Maybe we should... What?

Don't you dare.

Relax.

Just shut up.

You want me to relax?

You want me to fucking relax?

Please shut up.

I'm so sick of you.

Oh.

You are.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What did you say to me?

Jesus Christ.

What?

What happened to you, or have you always been this pathetic?

Who was she talking to?

I'm sorry.

Us.

She is doing this.

She is causing this to happen.

Fuck this.

No.

What are you doing?

She's out.

You wanna... Join us.

I don't...

Hey!

Wait!

What about...

Stay with him!

You're freezing.

What?

What's wrong?

Jill!

Fuck the fucking Derek.

Jill!

He found out about us.

Okay, he saw your messages.

Jill, I swear to God, he is lying to you.

Okay?

I gotta go.

Come on, call again.

Call again.

Call again.

Call again!

Fuck me!

Jill?

Phillip?

Guys?

Does

Derek have the keys?

Nice.

Stay here.

I'm gonna get the keys from Derek, okay?

Over here!

Oh, thank God.

You left me.

Go.

Dally?

Allison?

Alison!

No!

Open the door!

What happened?

She tried to kill me.

Alison, she's out there?

She's gonna kill you too.

Derek, this is insane.

This is funny, Sarah.

No.

I mean, Jeffrey, Derek, listen to yourself.

This doesn't make any sense.

It's not possible.

What is that?

Where's Phillip?

Have you seen Phillip?

Derek!

Where's the screwdriver?

I must have dropped it.

She's punishing us.

Punishing us?

I was there.

I was there.

And now they do that.

I'm gonna die over here.

We have to keep moving, okay?

Derek, what are you doing?

Leave your jacket on.

It's so hard.

It's horrible.

Derek, don't, please.

Derek, stop, please.

Don't, Derek.

Derek!

Why are you doing this to me?

How could you do this?

What did you do?

No!

How could you do this?

There's someone out there.

Please.

Derek, I need you to get up, okay?

We gotta go, we gotta make a run for it.

I can't.

Yes, please.

No.

Please.

I didn't know.

I didn't get that to her.

I got it.

Derek, not now, okay?

I didn't know.

Okay, we gotta go, okay?

I'm sorry.

It's so hard in here.

Come on.

Derek, please, we've gotta go.

We're gonna die.

Please, Derek.

Derek, please.

I'll come back, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

I love that.

Please.

Go.

Help!

Please.

Please stop.

Help!

What are you doing?

Please.

Please, I just want to go home.

What are you doing?

Allison, I don't want to...

Don't come any closer!

What are you doing?

Don't!

Don't hit me!

Jill!

Jill!

What are you doing?

She is causing this to happen.

What did you do?

I'm in a session by the devil.

I'm hungry.

Stop!

Please, what's happening?

I just...

Stop!

What are you doing?

You killed them!

Jill!

Jill!

Listen to me!

Listen to me!

I didn't do anything!

Jill!

Please!

Please, listen to me!

I thought she was possessed.

Possessed?

Wouldn't God's name would make you believe something like that?

I guess they told me I...