All language subtitles for Taskmaster (NZ) - s01e10 - My Uncle John

Ta da!

- Oh!
- Oh!

Nutsack!

Good evening. Welcome to the
season finale of Taskmaster.

My name is Jeremy Wells,
and I am the Taskmaster.

For the last 10 weeks, we
have watched five comedians

attempt a series of
mind-boggling tasks, set by me.

Tonight, we'll do it again.

I will judge them,

and we'll finally be able to crown
our first Taskmaster champion.

They will walk away with not only
the respect of a nation,

but with the most impressive prize package
ever given away on New Zealand television:

a golden replica of my head
and no money.

Let's meet our comedians for
the last time.

They are - Angella Dravid

Brynley Stent

Guy Williams

Leigh Hart

and Madeleine Sami.

To my left, the bravest and most
handsome man I know, with a mind so sharp,

Ernest Rutherford is now officially the
second most intelligent person from Nelson.

I promised him one introduction this
season where I made him sound good,

it's Paul Williams.

Thanks, Jeremy.

So, you're wearing a
pair of sunglasses tonight?

Yeah, I just decided it was the season
finale and I wanted to dress up,

but I was already wearing my finest
clothes, so I thought I'd don some shades.

- Nice shades. Dirty Dogs.
- Yes, Dirty Dogs.

They're not a sponsor,
but shout out to Dirty Dogs.

You're gonna wear them during the
whole show?

I was planning to.
Is that is that ok?

No.

Sorry.

What's our prize task today, Paul?

This week, we asked our
contestants to bring along their best DIY.

As the name suggests,

this could be anything that they
have built, made, or done themselves.

The Taskmaster will
choose the best DIY

and the person who did
that I-Y gets five points...

..ooh. Gets five points.
That was the end of that sentence.

With the winner of tonight's show
taking home all five DIYs.

Wow. Exciting. A prize task
fit for a grand final.

Where are we going to start first,
Leigh Hart?

Sorry. Yeah, sure.

Look, this is something I've been
spending a bit of time on lately.

It's a DIY project in many ways.
It's a chip brand called Snackachangi.

- What?
- That's pretty good.

And they said it couldn't be done,
but we put the vinegar in first.

Ok.

Creating, of course, vinegar
and salt Snackachangi.

- To be fair, they are really good chips.
- How much is he paying you?

- Mads, what did you bring in?
- I bought a cute little car.

I built a car. Aw. Nice.

Did you make all of it yourself?

Yep, I screwed the screws
and I stuck the woods.

You stuck the woods?

Yeah, I stuck the woods
and I made that car.

And she bloody
goes, mate, oh, bloody hell.

How long did it take you?

Ah, three minutes.

Angela, I can't wait to hear
what you've brought in.

So this was something I made because we
went into lockdown and it was kind of cold.

And I wanted to make my mom a hat,
but we weren't able to order anything.

So I fashioned a crochet
hook from a chopstick

and crocheted a
beanie for my mum.

- Wow.
- That's very good.

Doesn't really look like
a beanie, looks like a beret.

Yeah. I don't actually know how
to crochet a beanie, so, it's a doily.

Yeah, it's a doily.

Is your mum pissed off that you took away
her beanie to give it away on this show?

No, cuz it's nearly summer.

- Guy, what did you bring in?
- I bought my Uncle John.

Basically, what happened is we
want to save some money in a funeral,

so we cremated the body DIY
in our oven at home.

So you're Guy's brother, do you
know about this great Uncle John?

He was helping me
stuff the body in the oven.

Yeah, as a member of Guy's family,
I can confirm that this is

not real.

And on that note, can I just talk
about something that is real,

and that is the flavour of
vinegar and salt...

- On those chips.
- Thanks, Mads.

I actually have Guy's
DIY here. John's ashes.

Pretty good DIY.

Do you want to open them up?

- I guess so.
- Do you want to smell...

Well, don't- that's,
that's unsafe.

Taste it.
Taste it.

Go on, have a taste.

- Don't- Oh!
- Taste it!

- Uncle John!
- We'll see if it's Uncle John or not.

It's hard to tell.

What does he taste like?

I mean, I don't know what ashes would taste
like, but this is quite yum.

That's Uncle John, all right.

He was yum when he was alive,
and he's yum when he's dead.

I'll just-

Dark as hell.

Oh, it's like malty. Malted.

If I was you guys I
would stop tasting that,

that's crushed up kitty litter.

I didn't think you would start
licking the ashes.

Quite nice.

- Is that kitty litter?
- Yeah, crushed up kitty litter, yeah.

I went up to K Road and got a-
got a packet, got the tape...

Googled how old
an old man would be.

Good effort.

Brynley. Please.
What did you bring in?

Well, before the show
I asked the producers

what it would take for
me to win the entire series,

and they said that I would have to
win every task in this show

and Angela would have to be
disqualified from all of them.

So it doesn't look
like I'm going to win,

so I made my own
Taskmaster trophy.

And I've made a few embellishments,
namely the eyes.

Is it possible to do a side by
side comparison of Brynley's one and

the actual Taskmaster trophy?

- Uncanny. Uncanny.
- It looks like your dud brother.

All right, time to judge
these fantastic items. Leigh...

Yes, mate.

One point for you.

Have you tried them, though?
Have you tried them? The chips.

- Oh, no, I've tried them.
- Oh, yeah, very good.

Yeah. Absolutely wonderful chips.
The salt and vinegar flavours...

Tell 'em Jeremy sent ya.

- Brynley, two points for you.
- Oh!

I'm just kind of sick of the
sycophantic Taskmaster stuff.

We've had Angela bringing in
stuff for the last couple of episodes,

now we've got this.

I'm over all that sort of stuff.
You can understand that, surely.

Angela, the beanie for me
was disappointing, but still

three points for you.

Guy, your fake ashes.

Everybody ate them, so they
provided some kind of entertainment,

so four points for you

And that means that,
Madeleine, you win with five points

because making
toys for kids is great.

Thank you.

Let's update the overall series
scoreboard, shall we, Paul?

With a nine and a half point lead,
Angella Dravid.

I'm clawing my way back.

Well it looks like it's anyone's
game, apart from Guy...

and Leigh... and Brynley.

It's not their game, but we'll soldier on
anyway. Task me up again, please, Paul.

Sure thing, Jeremy Wells. A task
like this is almost criminal.

Almost.

Hi, Paul.

- Hello, Paul.
- Hello, Brynley.

What, Tina did, did she?
Did Danny say that?

- Hello, Angela.
- Hello.

No, no, I'm still doing
that Taskmaster show, yeah.

Yeah, I'm pretty much winning, yeah.

Oh, hey, Paul. How's it going?

- You good?
- I'm good. Thank you.

- I'm well.
- I didn't ask.

I know.

It's my favourite part, this.

- 'Commit a crime.'
- 'You cannot break the law', oh what?

'Commit a crime.
You can't break the law.'

- You have 10 minutes to plan your crime-
- Then 10 minutes to commit it.

- Best crime wins.
- Your time starts now.

Technically I've already committed
a crime in the, uh, in the guest bathroom.

You don't want to see that.

It's a good thing they wrote that
you cannot break the law there

because, otherwise, it'd just be
go outside and

throw a rock at a car or something.
That was my first thought.

Ok, let's think of crimes that I can
commit. Stealing, public fornication...

Are you down?

If the best crime is the best of
the worst, then I think it's murder.

Is murder against the law?

Yeah, murder is against the law.
I'm pretty sure taking someone's life...

20 things that you
think are illegal, but aren't.

Having a monkey for a pet.
Marrying your cousin! That's good.

What?

- Maybe I can make up a law and break it.
- You got one minute.

All right. Crime ready to go.

Brynley, you wanted to fornicate with Paul?
Public fornication is a crime?

Yeah, guess so. Dunno.
I never tried it. You down?

- Not publicly.
- Oh, ok... what?

Wow. Feel like my point's
are going to go up.

Feel like something's
gonna go up.

Let's dampen it all down
a little bit and talk to Guy.

Guy, all great season
finales have a wedding scene in them,

but I just didn't think
that our season finale

was going to have a wedding
featuring you and a cousin.

Guy attempted to marry his cousin,

but the cousin was still mad from
the time Guy cremated our uncle.

Would you like to see
some legal crimes?

Absolutely. I'd love to. Which criminal
mastermind do you want to show me first?

Here's the dastardly
Brynley Stent.

Do you think I can break into the
neighbour's house?

What if I popped
into their property and

hung out with some sheep-
nah, that's not a crime.

Or is it? That's trespassing.

- Yeah.
- I love that.

Trespassing isn't breaking
the law, is it?

Oh, well.

Ooh. You know, it doesn't
feel as cool as I thought it would.

What's it feel like?

Just feels like
I'm standing in a field.

They're running away from me.

Don't run away from me. Don't run away
from me. Oh, no, come back.

I need you for my crime.

I know this has nothing to do with
the task, but look, I found a skeleton.

Maybe I can steal this.

Technically, a multitude
of crimes here today.

Trespassing, endangering and
worrying animals, and stealing.

Wow.

♪ Because she's a bad
bitch and she knows it. ♪

♪ She's a bad bitch and she's
stealing all the things. ♪

Ok, that's another crime.
Breaking someone else's equipment.

- I think it's still filming.
- No, it's not. It's broken.

No, look it's-

I got your camera!

Think there's laws against that.

♪ Cuz she's a bad bitch,
na, na, na. ♪

So tell me, Paul, was Brynley
actually trespassing there at all?

No, she did not leave
the property.

That fence was very much just
to keep the sheep in rather than

signal a change of land.

She also did not do any damage
to the famously durable GoPro.

The closest she got to a crime was
worrying animals.

We're all chomping at the bit to
see more crimes and to find out who wins.

But that'll have to wait. We're committing
the very necessary television crime

of an ad break right now.
We'll see you soon.

Welcome back to the
Taskmaster grand finale,

where five brilliant
brains are battling it out

to win a beautiful but cheap trophy.

And a somehow even cheaper
looking one made by Brynley Stent.

- Paul Williams, what is going on?
- Our contestants are committing crimes,

but they can't be illegal ones.
Make sense?

Not really.

It's not your problem, nor mine.

Let's see Guy, Angela, and Madeline
attempt to make sense of it.

In Maori law, putting my feet
on the table is tapu.

It'll be quite pube-y.
I'll make it a bit bigger than that.

So, just go over it again.

I'm going to put a trademark
on the Taskmaster logo.

Yeah, ok.

It doesn't really make sense, but crime
doesn't really make much sense either.

Another crime, show how
the sound works.

It's a television crime.

Paul, come over here and help your
old Uncle Guy assemble the G-string, mate.

Oh, here's another crime.
I haven't shaved my legs.

How long does it take you
to tie up a G-string, mate?

- How was your weekend?
- It was good, thank you.

Haven't you ever made a homemade
G-string before with your brother?

It's normal.

- It's a crime making you film back here.
- That doesn't exist.

- There's a wall there.
- Producers will hate this.

This isn't going on TV.

I hate this show. Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you the ultimate crime

in fashion accessories.

The visible G-string with
shorts, jandals, and a crop top.

I'm sorry to our younger
viewers and to our older viewers,

any viewer should
not have to watch me

wear a homemade G-string.
But this is where we're at.

- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Go- your hand up.

Yeah, put that on. Yeah, that
tape. Press that down.

Oh, I can't reach that, my leg-

I walk away with dignity.
I'm not proud of myself.

I've been as naughty without
going to jail as I want to be.

Thank you.

Angela, please explain
to me your crime.

I tried to trademark the TM logo because
I don't think you can do it that way.

You have to apply for it.

- Angela owns the franchise now.
- What did Madeleine do, exactly?

Madeleine committed eight
crimes, none of which were illegal,

but all of which were annoying.

- Yeah.
- She broke some Maori law.

To be fair, we're not
sure if that house was built

with the intentions of
respecting Maori land anyway.

Yeah, yeah. I felt like that house
had a very colonial mindset.

So I don't know if any of
that sort of stuff applied.

- Guy, your fashion crime was commendable.
- It was horrific.

I'm so desensitized to Guy Williams'
body on national television now that-

It was just the gap between the
string and his butt cheeks.

There's a little gap

which gave you the depth
perception of what his arse looked like.

- Which we have seen.
- We've seen his arse. Like, I feel like-

But now you've got the- like, you felt the
string touch the taint, everything.

- Have we got anyone left?
- Out of all our contestants,

this man has served the most time...
on planet Earth, because he's the oldest.

It's Leigh Hart.

All the sensations, the smells,
the sounds, the visual aspect.

All important when making a good
cheese toastie, Paul.

- Now it's time for the cheese.
- Your favourite cheese?

Well, I'm, personally,
a tasty man.

I don't think there should be any
other cheeses other than tasty.

Mustard, not everybody's cup of
tea. But why not.

Now, we wait.
It's a waiting game.

Oh, you been busy?

- No.
- No?

Just this gig, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Cool, cool.

Is that a tui out there? A tui.

- You got 40 seconds now.
- There you go. Look at that.

- So what'd you think?
- Of this or of the crime?

The task was to commit a crime.

The amount of crimes
I've committed, doing this,

that you didn't even pick up on,
while we're doing, was unbelievable.

Beautiful toastie
on the surface.

Not tasty cheese, is it? Some
sort of half arsed Colby or Edam?

For me, that's a crime. I wouldn't
put mustard on a toastie.

It's actually not too bad.

I actually take it back about
the mustard, that is quite good.

Cheese isn't bad either.

So I think I failed this one.

I don't think we committed
any crimes, that's beautiful.

You know what?

I don't mind losing in this particular
competition, if we get to enjoy this.

The biggest crime, I think,
is you didn't cook more.

I think we should cook more.

Really good toastie.

Not even just saying that, genuinely one
of the best toasties I've ever had.

At what point did you
forget what the task was?

I don't think I forgot.

I was... I was expecting that toastie
to be less... awesome than it was.

I really thought the mustard would be
wrong, and the cheese was all wrong,

but it actually tasted all right.

It was possibly the best
toastie I've ever eaten.

Yeah. And I think the crew
ended up enjoying it as well.

It was actually quite a
good moment, wasn't it?

So, there were no
crimes committed at all.

On reflections, no crimes
whatsoever.

I feel like I'm really looking
forward to the launch of Snacker-sammies.

Let's do some scoring. For me,
Brynley, one point for you.

There was just some low level
offending there.

- I am so mad.
- Yeah, well two points to Angella-

- Ugh. Unbelievable.
- ..because I'm not even sure

what she actually did.

At first I was amazed that she
came last and Leigh didn't come last,

but then I found out Leigh
hasn't come second to last, either.

Well, Madeleine, still some

- cultural indiscretions from you.
- Yep, fair enough.

- So, so you get three points.
- Yep, utu's on me. It's all good.

Guy, I liked your G-string. I
thought that was a great fashion crime

and seeing your arse that was a crime.
Didn't like that either.

And then I think five points
for Leigh in this situation because,

look, not doing the task
is the ultimate crime.

Shall we head down to the scoreboard
now and see how it's looking?

Why do that when the
scoreboard can come to us?

And first equal with eight points each,
it's Madeleine Sami and Guy Williams.

Of course, that is just the
scoreboard for tonight's show.

The overall scoreboard
is another story. Paul.

Yes. To clarify,

the winner overall of the whole
season gets the trophy of Jeremy's head.

The winner of tonight gets
my uncle's fake ashes.

Let's stop everything and take another
break. We'll see you very shortly.

Welcome back to Taskmaster,
it's the season finale.

We've watched lots of
crimes be committed,

everyone is trying
to win my head.

If you're joining us
now for the first time,

there is truly no way
to help you from here.

- Got some bad news, Jeremy.
- What's that?

It's time for our last
team task of the season.

Oh, sports!
Oh, you're good at basketball.

You're good at basketball.

Yeah, I'm good at
basketball, I'm very tall.

You're good at basketball.

Yeah, all right.

- Hello, Leigh. Hello, Angella.
- Hello.

Hello, Paul. How are you?

Good, thank you.

Complimentary mints.

I don't want to eat it because I
feel like it's going to be a trick.

Yeah, I feel like we should
just open the task.

- So much weird stuff here, I'm confused.
- Yeah I'm confused too.

- Handcuff yourselves together at the wrist,
- then score 10 points.

- Fastest to 10 points wins.
- Your time starts now.

This is like last night
all over again.

How do you open a handcuff?

Put that one on.

I like how you tried to get
into the same handcuff with me.

How do you open the handcuff?

Oh, you push it
through. Push it through.

- Oh, push it all the way through.
- Push it all the way through.

Oh, are you a right hander
or left hander?

I don't care, really,
when it comes to handcuffs.

Ok, now what do we do?

- Score 10 points.
- How do we score 10 points?

How do we score 10 points?

How, indeed, do they score 10
points? Paul, any insights?

Each team was provided
with a basketball, a hoop,

a 100 piece puzzle, a mini
trampoline and of course,

an array of comical costumes.

All they had to do was score 10 points,
probably our most straightforward task yet.

Which team do we have first?

This team is known to their fans
by their nickname -

Guy, Brynley, and Madeleine.

It's Guy, Brynley, and Madeleine.

Score 10 points. Try and throw it and then
Paul will show us if we've made a point

Ok, no, that didn't get a point.

Ok, I don't think any of
these is scoring us points.

- Why not?
- Why not?

Go, go. Forward.

Yes, boy!

- Oh, nah. Maybe we've got to start here.
- To the puzzle?

- Hey, guys, this is not-
- How long have we got?

Am I Rose on the Titanic?

This is so dumb.

Do we just eat a mint?
You've eaten a mint.

Ok, it's going to be
something stupid,

something like say
something nice to each other.

Guy, you look lovely today.

Thank you. Thank you.
Brynley, you look fantastic too.

- Ah!
- Wow, that's good.

That was a random guess.

Madeleine, your
suit is ravishing.

- Guy, you are tall and strong.
- Thank you.

Brynley, you are bright
and fresh and friendly.

Brynley, I must say that you are one of
the most positive people I know.

- Oh, thank you.
- Guy, you're really funny.

Thank you.

- Madeleine, you are creative and talented.
- I like this.

Brynley, you are better than
Michael Jordan at basketball.

That's not true, but thank you.

Guy, the guy you really genuinely could
be a basketball player in the NBL.

I, for one, am also wondering
how we're going to get out of these.

Yeah.

- I have keys.
- Oh, cool.

That's good.

Ok.

Sports!

- Yeah!
- Let's trash the place.

No, please don't.

We've learnt nothing. We've learnt
no lessons. Paul, you suck.

Thank you, Madeleine.
Thank you, Brynley.

- Bye, Paul.
- Thank you, Guy.

Thank you.

Not only did they finish
the task in record time,

but that was actually the first
proper warm moment of the whole series.

You guys complement each other,
it was lovely.

- I realise now, complimentary meant...
- Yeah. This is not good.

This is good.
This is exceptional, actually.

This next team complement each other well,
but will they compliment each other?

It's Leigh and Angella.

Complimentary mints.
Are we supposed to eat it?

- Ok. I got his face.
- You're doing well at this.

We've got one point. Not really a thing
people do nowadays, is it?

The old jigsaw puzzle.

Since internet porn and stuff came, you
never really spend time doing this anymore.

Yeah, that looks good.
That means his hand is down there.

Yeah. Oh, we've got two points.

- Yep.
- Yes. Done.

Are you left handed
or right handed?

I'm right handed.

Have another crack.
Yep.

I don't see the points changing.
Do this together. Three, two, one-

Together?

Yeah.

- Says two points.
- Missing something here, I think.

- Yeah.
- I think there's a puzzle here.

- Mints, complimentary...
- Complementary mints.

Am I supposed to compliment...

complement...

Who's he? Is that the
Four Square guy, is it?

He is the Four Square guy.

- Four square. Four square. Four...
- Square.

Perhaps we've got to do it with
both of us, with the hands.

- One, two, three- Oh! Argh!
- Ow!

- Oh, shit, don't do that again.
- That really hurt.

- I did it quite tight.
- Oh, shit.

No, that's a birthmark.

- You did well for your left hand.
- Yeah, you have another crack.

- What are we getting points for?
- Complimenting.

- Ok. Yeah.
- Three points, there.

- It went in.
- I know.

The basketball you got in,
didn't you? Try that one again.

Not bad, not bad. If this goes in,
we go to four, we're on the right track.

- We're on four.
- Yep.

Ok. When did we get
the other point?

Just keep going with this.

Not bad, not bad. You're on the
basketball again. You've gone five.

Just keep going
on the basketball.

Yes! Great teamwork.

Beautiful.

- Sorry.
- Oh, that's just good.

Beautiful.

- One more.
- So easy when you know how, isn't it?

- Oh, that was as good as my best.
- Ten.

Thank you. Stop the clock. Didn't make
any sense whatsoever, but we're here.

- Boy oh boy.
- Dream team, I tell ya.

- You guys must have been so confused.
- Can I urgently interject?

You saw us do the tasks successfully and
then we watched that segment

and Leigh's team was on three points and
Leigh went over to Madeleine and goes,

"What are we getting points for?"

He still didn't know. And at this point,
I'm still not sure if he knows.

Leigh, what were you getting points
for?

About five seconds ago I worked
it out, at the end of the clip.

I think I might have worked it out if I
kept going on my train of thought.

- You were so close there.
- You were so close.

You were so close, and
then the next thing you know,

both of you were standing
on a mini tramp together,

- trying to do something with the same arm.
- It felt like wasting time,

thinking, so I was like, I'll just go, just
keep going and maybe it'll make sense.

I was quite lenient with some of
the compliments as well.

Like, "not bad."

And they took 47 minutes.

Yeah, 47 minutes. It took them four
minutes to get their first point.

The other team did the task in
three minutes.

Leigh and Angella, one point
each for that one.

And I think you guys
deserve four points I think,

Mads, Guy and Brynley.
Four points.

Just two tasks remain
and the elusive trophy grows-

I should say, we were saying nice
things to each other for encouragement,

instead of trying
to score points.

- Yeah, exactly.
- So the compliments meant more.

It was real for us. It was
real. It meant something.

Just two tasks remain

and the elusive trophy grows ever
closer to one comedian's sweaty grasp.

We'll see you very soon.

Welcome back to Taskmaster.

It's the grand finale. Everyone is trying
to win a packet of Leigh Hart's chips.

The end is in sight.

Everyone is absolutely fizzing, especially
Paul Williams. What have we got next, Paul?

It's our last task proper, and
we've saved the sweet stuff until the end.

Well, well, well, well.

Wa wa wee wa.

- Hello, Angela.
- Hello.

What a delicious smorgasbord of
treats.

This looks good.
I'm enjoying this.

Make the best dessert.

- You have 10 minutes.
- Your time starts now.

How lovely is this?

- Ooh.
- Ok.

Ten minutes is nothing for me.

I can do this in a minute
and a half, but let's get it right.

So the problem here, which is going to be
quickly exposed, is that I have no talent.

To be fair, Guy, I think that that was
exposed long before we started this task.

This was hard. Just like every other
task I've done in the past, also hard.

So, talk me through
this task, Paul.

Not really much to
talk through, Jeremy,

all the info was on the task
Do the task to your best ability.

Very simple. Anyway, here's Angela
and Guy and Leigh and Madeline.

Four tasty desserts.

Paul, you've got to start with
an impressive presentation.

That looks pretty cool.

Oh, that's hard, isn't it?

I don't know what fondant is.

So what are you going for?

A layered kind of thing, not a
trifle, more like a sweet lasagna.

Lil bit of choco something.
10 minutes. Ok. Stop fucking around, Mads.

I'm going to make an aquarium
with the jelly.

- What's that?
- That's a mistake.

I can make the grossest dessert.
Just putting that in there.

That's disgusting. And some
pickles is a real red herring.

- Why the gherkins?
- You might want to use them.

Is there some sort of trick here?
I don't really understand what's going on.

This seems too simple.

Why is there two sherbets?
That's weird.

I don't know what this
is going to be.

This is a bad start,
cuz it looks quite fecal.

I'm not sure that's actually anything.
Oh, bugger it, we'll stick it in there.

It's stuck to the plate.

Some people just
born for greatness,

other people have
greatness thrust upon them.

- Which one were you?
- Neither.

I'm a fuckwit.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

- How much longer left?
- Six seconds.

Shit.

That's something.

- How do you think that's gone?
- I think it's gone pretty good.

Obviously, the subtle flavour
of the sponge.

I didn't want to, sort of, drown
that with too much color or taste.

I'll take that bit.
It's good.

- Thank you, Madeleine.
- Mm! Sponge!

Those really were some
delicious looking desserts.

Can we just have another
look at what it says on the task?

I just want to double check the
spelling on what it says there.

Make the best... desert. Is that me,
or does it say desert? Or dessert?

It definitely says desert.

I don't know why anyone would make
a dessert. Very clearly says desert.

Would you like to judge
the desserts anyway?

No.

Because they've completely ignored
the task, so, no, I don't.

Did anyone actually make a desert?

- I can't remember. Shall we take a look?
- Love to.

Make the best desert.
You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now.

What do they mean by
best? Are you going to eat it?

No.

Ok. How do you know it
will be the best?

The Taskmaster will decide by
looking at photos.

Ok, make the best...

desert.

Wait, dessert.
Does dessert have two 'S's?

Paul, can you search the word
dessert for me?

Can you spell out what
I need to search?

D-E-S-E-R-T and tell me
what pictures come up.

Yes!

Ok, great. I'm stoked with that.

It's a lot of sand.

That's very tricksy
of you to do that, Paul.

That's why there's spearmint leaves
and this is the sand.

Oh, my God. That's the oasis.

- Do you want to eat one of these?
- No.

What else would be good here?

So what I'm imagining, surely
at least one person

has just made a good dessert.
Surely.

Oh, unless they've all done- unless
they're all smarter than I am.

Congratulations, Brynley, not
only did you make the best desert,

you made the only desert.

But to be fair, you could have actually
just taken a big dump on that desert.

And it still would have been
the best desert.

- And someone still had to taste it, right?
- No, no.

Oh, ok. Yeah, you could have
just done a bit shit.

Well, we've got to score that one.
Brynley, five points, I mean...

Well done, Brynley.

- And everyone else, zero.
- Fair, that's fair.

We've eaten our desert.
Now it's time for dessert.

We've got a sweet and
creamy live task coming up,

along with a very lavish
30 second prize ceremony.

We'll see you very soon.

Welcome back, it's the last part
of the last episode.

There is the grand
prize to be won.

There's also a beanie made
out of a chopstick to be won.

So much is at stake. Paul, will you
tell us how the scoreboard is looking?

It's a three way tie, currently.
All on 12 points.

Brynley, Madeleine and Guy.

Ok. Everyone knows what
they have to do.

Let's head to the stage for our
last task of the season.

This is sure to be a task
fitting of the occasion, Paul.

Who's going to
tell us what it is?

Leigh Hart, will you
please read this task?

Love to, Paul.

Karate chop the thickest spaghetti log.
You have 20 seconds to construct your log.

You will then each have
one karate chop attempt.

If you've not cleanly chopped through your
whole log, you'll be disqualified.

The log with the most spaghetti
successfully chopped wins.

Pretty straightforward.

- Are you ready?
- Yep.

You have 20 seconds.

Time up. Place your logs down,
please, just place your logs down.

It's been a while since I've seen
a good old fashioned karate chop.

- Who's going to start up first, Paul?
- We're going to start with Angella Dravid.

Oh, really? I've always
started these tasks and I'd like

the last one
to just not go first, please.

- Taskmaster?
- Angella Dravid.

Are you serious?
I'm taking my stool.

- Oh.
- Go, Ange. You can do it, Angie!

- 29.6.
- Woah!

Not yet, not yet.

- No, I just wanted to feel it.
- Ok, ok.

Can I feel how thick it is?

Ok, you can do that.

Oh, I'm fucked.

Someone is going to break
their hand on this concrete.

Oh, sorry. Just don't
hit the concrete.

Just don't hit the concrete,
you'll be fine.

- Let's go, Ange.
- Go, Ange! We believe in you!

- Let's do it.
- Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry.

- Come on, Ange!
- Sports, sports, sports.

It's a clean break,
it's a clean break.

That's amazing.

- Brynley Stent.
- Mine's very thin.

- I'll be the judge of that. 26.6.
- All right, Brynley.

Believe in yourself!

- It's a clean break.
- It's a clean break.

It's so much easier
than I thought.

Guy, you're up.

- Oh, he's gone thin. You and me, big boys.
- Big time, baby.

It's slightly more. Angela's was
29.6, Guy's is 29.8.

- Here's for the lead.
- Can I get a clap?

Yes! Yes!

- Clean break.
- Ok, clean break.

- Leigh Hart.
- Here we go.

Do you want help carrying the log?
It's a two person job, this one.

That's a bit of girth
on it, Leigh.

- 75.8.
- Wow!

Let's go, Leigh!

- Good luck, Leigh.
- Good luck, Leigh. Let's go, Leigh!

I don't want to put pressure on,
but last place rides on this.

It's a clean break.

- In the middle?
- Madeleine.

Good luck, Mads.

- All right.
- You can do it!

Bad luck going after you
Leigh. You kind of look piss poor.

Yeah, I do, eh.

- 41.3.
- Wow.

- Shall I make a noise or something?
- Make a big noise.

- It's a clean break.
- Clean break.

Sensei.

All right, let's head back down here for
some points and the episode winner,

and announce the winner of the
entire series. Come on down.

Welcome back, everybody. All right, Paul,
who was our thickest chopper?

- Leigh Hart, with 75.8mm.
- Wow.

So that means one point for
Brynley, two points for Angela,

three points for Guy,

four points for Madeleine, and five points
for the wickedly talented Leigh Hart.

Ok. So who does that
mean takes out Episode 10?

It was a nail biter, but with 16 points,
the winner of Episode 10 is Madeleine Sami.

Congratulations. A gorgeously curated
selection of DIY prizes await you.

Head on up there, Madeleine, enjoy those.

And now we've enjoyed and sometimes
endured 10 weeks of tasks for this moment.

All the vegetables,
leaf blowers, cigarettes,

Frisbees, pinatas,
G-strings, wheelchairs, vases,

and mums have been for this - the
Taskmaster New Zealand Series One champion.

What are the final
overall scores, Paul?

In fifth place with 131,

- Guy Williams.
- Yes! Yes!

In fourth place, just three points
ahead on 134, it's Leigh Hart.

The bronze medalist
with 142 points -

- Brynley Stent.
- Yeah!

I'm at the front!
I'm the people's princess!

In second place with 154.5,

it's Madeleine Sami.

Which means that the winner of
Taskmaster is Angella Dravid.

A huge congratulations, Angella.

It's been a pleasure to bring
you Taskmaster Series One.

Thank you to our contestants,

to Paul Williams, my assistant,
and if you've watched the whole thing,

thanks for not deserting us.

Sorry, deserting us.

With any luck, I'll
see you again soon.

Thanks so much for
watching. Night-night.

Well done.

Girl power! Girl power!

Well done.