Original subtitles

Hey, Seth, bro.

Um, so you haven't asked me which I want for my birthday.

Because I already know what I'm getting.

What? A little birthday card and a gift card.

What do you want?

That's it?

Yeah.

Well, I was thinking maybe you could help me get a new car.

You want me to get you a brand new car?

Yeah.

Like... Kind of. I want you to help convince your dad to get me a brand new

So you want me to ask my dad to get his stepdaughter a brand new car? Not his

own son, his stepdaughter?

Yeah.

No, you're fucking crazy, no.

Well, what if I do something for you and you convince him then?

You're going to have to do a lot of laundry, a lot of cooking, my

room. Could even use a cleaning.

Okay.

Um... Yeah, I mean... That's it?

Want to wash my car, too?

You know he'll do whatever you ask.

Fine. Fine. Okay?

But I'd like to see how you handle a big load, so... Let me go grab the laundry

and you get started with that.

Whatever.

Your bed's made.

There's the laundry.

That's it?

Yep. Not too bad.

This is cute.

It's a nice top.

That's uneven.

It should hold up better.

Yeah, you should have hangers, so... Realistically, I'm being picky.

We have matching pants to go with this.

That was not a good fold.

No, it wasn't.

That's a stupid shirt.

Look, I'm feeling a little hungry, but I have a lot of work to do.

I mean, I guess I can make you something to eat.

That would be great.

Why don't you just sit down and I'll bring it out.

Alright.

Alright,

breakfast is ready.

Smells good.

Do you think we could do peanut butter? I don't like mustard.

Uh oh.

Your dad likes mustard.

No, I could make you a peanut butter one instead.

Thanks.

Go sit down. It's okay.

That's what you want.

Just stand there and watch.

Do you want it extra toasted?

Yeah, that'll be fine. Okay.

It's nice and creamy peanut butter.

Make sure you've got good coverage of the butter.

See, that looks better. Was that better breakfast?

A lot better.

Yeah.

Told you I could take care of you.

It tastes so good with the peanut butter.

I guess I can make this

for you for breakfast tomorrow.

That'd be great.

What else are you going to do later?

Nothing, just finish up the work I got.

Well, you have to have some more laundry of hers to fold.

Yeah, I got a little bit more for you to take care of.

I'm going to make sure I get my brand new car.

Here you go.

Those bananas are so good.

Are they?

I'm happy you like them.

Do you want another one?

Oh, yes, please.

I got plenty of bananas.

Does this make you happy, Stepbro?

Very happy.

Hey, um, what are you doing?

Well, you said I needed to be more responsible, so I thought I would look

all your bills and stuff and try and figure them out.

I was

trying. Most of them were adding up.

I mean, it's actually pretty good.

Really? Yeah.

There's a little stuff here.

You did all this by yourself?

Yeah. It wasn't terribly hard.

It's pretty impressive.

You might want to double check it though.

Alright.

This is actually really impressive. This is really good.

Thank you.

It's all here. That's crazy.

You really did this all by yourself?

Yeah, I've been trying to learn.

This is great.

Maybe I don't even have to do this by myself.

Maybe you can help big bro with something else.

I mean, it might be a little hard for you.

Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to get myself a new car, so as long as you convince

your dad, I'm down to help.

Alright.

is maybe you do them every year for me.

I don't know about that.

Probably because your car is a write -off.

I mean, as long as I get my car, I really don't need to be doing this

It's a big part of being an adult, so.

Well, this isn't too hard.

Yeah, but just get any numbers wrong.

No, they'll come knocking at the door.

Nah, I think they'll be fine. They're not that, like, mean about taxes, are

they? Yeah, they're pretty fucking greedy about their money.

Mm -mm.

Oh, you're bad.

Gas is a real big write -off. I know. There's gas going up right now. I better

start to... Every bit counts. I know.

Can't forget about gas.

And the mileage.

And then... Lunch, coffee.

It's another write -off this day.

I guess I would fall under the line, so I'm just going to put this.

So if I drive it from to and from school, let's see,

with gas going up, I should probably,

let's see, put aside about this much for gas,

about 20 bucks. If I don't drive too much.

20 bucks will get you really far.

With insurance, I'll have to pay like once a month, right?

Every month for six months, yes.

For six months?

Yeah. It comes out to about $2 ,300.

That's a lot. $2 ,300.

And then 20 times 4, because it's permanent.

23 is for six months.

So I do $2 ,300 divided by 6.

4.

38, 38, 33.

That's 400. 20 times 4 is 80.

480.

It's going to be so far close to like... $500 a month for this car.

That's crazy.

Well, just know it's all going on the tax credit, so most of it's going to be

taxed right now.

I guess.

It's still like $500.

It's a lot of money.

Wow.

You actually did these files really, really good. Did I? I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

Does that look correct?

Looks correct.

Yeah? Yeah.

Let's see.

So if I get it for my birthday, along with all the cash I'm going to get,

I should hopefully be able to get enough money so I can wrap it in something

really cute.

What color are you thinking?

I'm thinking a really cute pearlescent pink so it shines when I drive it

wrapped, I think maybe pearly pink or I was thinking wouldn't it be so cute if I

had like a bald eagle on the hood going ta -da! A bald eagle on the hood. Yeah.

It's fucking wild.

I think it'd be the sickest of wraps.

Especially with a g -wag.

A little g -waggy.

That'd be good for taxes, honestly.

I mean, do you get your dad to buy me one?

I don't even have a key to everything.

I know, but like, what else has this been for? Like, you're supposed to

your dad to buy me a car.

We'll see.

We'll see how far we get.

I still have to ask him, but... Let's see.

I'm really impressed by how you filed all this.

I, you know, the glasses aren't just for show. Sometimes I got a brain behind

it.

See you at the next video.

You know, if we put your car under an LLC, maybe we could get a better deal on

financing. I mean, yeah, if your dad just buys it through his company, I

know why it would be so hard.

Because I feel like it's totally a tax write -off.

I mean, I'm sure there's a way around it.

We can figure something out so we're paying less on it.

I mean, as long as you guys are paying, I'm not.

Well, I mean, you're going to have to put something towards it. You can't

you know, wander like you have no responsibilities.

What do you mean?

It's a present, though.

You've still got to pay for your own car insurance and your own gas.

Okay, well, yeah, you could help me pay for it. You're my brother. You're

supposed to help me.

I'm not paying for your car insurance.

That's crazy. Okay, well, you could pay for my gas.

You're going to send me to go put gas in my own car?

Yeah. No.

You're getting an expensive car with a big tank.

It's going to be a lot of money.

Okay. I'm not going to go take my car to the gas station. You're going to go put

gas in my car when I get one. I'll put sugar in your gas tank. I love that.

I'm going to be dead in your car if I put sugar in my gas tank.

You know, I think your math is...

Just a little off.

What do you mean?

My math?

I have this number off. Go ahead, check it.

See, no, it's 41, not 42.

Okay you got that part right, you got the gas part right.

Gas was right.

One more.

5 ,496.

So yes, you were 400 under.

I think I was right.

You weren't too far off. Your math wasn't that off.

It wasn't that bad. It was just like a couple of numbers off, which is a little

too bad.

No, it's not.

for something that's not too expensive. I get it. You want to be nice and

everything, but... Well, I haven't.

It's a really, really cute car, though.

Do you want to look it over together, or...? Oh, you can. I can show you and

pull it right up.

Okay. Do you want to see it?

Yeah, let's have a seat.

This one.

It's a cute car.

Right?

It looks really expensive.

How much is it? It doesn't even have a price tag. It's like $65 ,000.

$65 ,000 is bad, right?

$65 ,000?

Well, yeah. Is that bad? Is that a lot?

Quite a lot of money.

I don't think so.

You could even look for a better car for less than the price.

I know, but look at how cute this car is.

Isn't it like... It's cute.

Yeah, it's nice.

I mean, that's... It's not a bad price for this car.

Well, really, it's really not a bad price for this car.

Well, it's older.

I think it's... Oh, it has 80 ,000 miles on it.

Okay, yeah. Actually, yeah. That explains the price.

It's cute, though, isn't it? Yeah, it's nice. Black.

What's wrong with black?

It just gets dirty fast.

It's like white. It's just as bad as white. I'll send you to the car wash to

wash my car.

You want me to wash your car? Well, yeah. I shouldn't have to take care of

own car.

You should have to take care of your own car.

No, I think you should.

That's nice.

It's nice and roomy. I can take the girls everywhere.

Get some seat warmers.

Oh, I love seat warmers.

That's nice.

It's actually really outdated. I don't know if I like that Saturn console.

No, it should.

Look at the side of New Orleans.

Oh, my God.

Six by six.

There's so many wheels on that car.

I don't like that. I don't like that. It looks like a truck. You know,

theoretically, it's kind of useless.

Is it? Does it work?

I mean, it works, but it's like.

Oh, it's a V8. Look at that. It'll go fast.

Most of the time, these trucks aren't even road legal.

Well, it doesn't really count as a truck, though.

It's.

Oh, but look at that interior.

It's considered like a utility vehicle.

Okay, but the interior is cute, isn't it?

It is.

A six by six.

That's a lot of fucking gas.

Yeah, but you're going to be putting gas in there. And you can't even tow with

this. Do I need to tow?

No. It's always useful. You just never know.

You just never know.

But like, can't you just tow with your little car?

No. It's too small. It's like a quarter the size of that truck. Oh.

Well, why can't you just get a cooler car?

It's a one -color car.

Well, now you sound like the one.

See, this one's nice.

I don't like the color.

You don't like the color?

No.

That gray is so ugly and so sad and, like, depressing.

Oh, that was a Nardo gray. It's not a Nardo gray.

That was an Arabian gray.

Arabian gray.

Alfonso.

Oh, that's so cute. A blue one? A little blue.

That looks really low, though.

Are they low? Am I crazy?

No, they're... I mean, they sit pretty high up.

Oh, look at that. That is really pretty.

The monthly payment on this thing would be insane.

How much is it?

Let me look at the price again.

Oh, it's sold.

Oh.

Well, what was it before it sold?

I didn't see.

Let's see. Let's try to find one that's not for sale.

What about this one?

I don't know about that one.

I know all the rubber duckies are always on those dashes. I just found out,

though.

It's not that bad in price.

How much?

I don't know. I don't read the whole thing.

I just thought that didn't look like a bad price for whatever there may be

advertising.

Grunge. Painted.

Protected. Oh, they're talking about the wrap. Oh, it's a film.

Can I do that?

Yeah. Because that could go over the wrap to keep it from scratching.

Oh.

It's like paint protector. I don't know. Actually, I'm going to look up.

Hold on.

That? No, the one underneath it. That?

Yeah.

That's ugly.

It's like a winder.

It's like a magenta. Do you think that's magenta?

Yeah. You think that's magenta?

No. You think, hold on.

Now we're having a talk.

Magenta.

I spelled it right.

It's close. That is not magenta.

Well, look at the different shades of magenta.

That is magenta purple. It is purple.

Oh, it's close. That's magenta.

What?

You were not close.

That's also, like, not cute.

That's actually really nice. You think that's nice?

Yeah. I drive it.

It's a mom car.

Oh, I... It is a nice car.

It's a mom car, though.

I know, but it's cute. You can, like, haul everyone around in it. See, like,

look at it. Is that a complete picture of it, or a thing?

That might be, because this doesn't look like anyone, though. That looks old.

It's, like, a 21, I think.

I was looking at the...

The ST versions of them.

You could get those up to like 700 horsepower in a tune.

It's pretty nice.

I just found out that they fake their noises. You know how they do that with

cars? What noises?

They fake the noises sometimes. It's not like a real place in the speaker now.

Don't look at me like that. I swear it's a real thing. I swear it's a real

thing. It kind of sucks because in the new ones they took the sunroof out.

Really? Because I had a sunroof, and it was so pretty. It was so nice. Like,

when you would drive in the summer, you would just pull, granted, in California,

not in, like, the hot desert.

It's so nice.

And then this one, that one also had massaging seats. The new ones do not

the massaging seats. Really?

Who do you think the newer ones would? The off -road.

Off -road is the one that has the massaging seats. And I went, are you

me?

You get the whole, you get the whole there. You get the, like, the top is

but not massage seats.

With that trim, you have to get the off -road for the trim.

It's a weird thing to complain about right now.

See, I was telling you. I told you I was right.

You feel silly not to check. I told you I was right. That's retarded.

Well, I don't make the car.

So, yeah.

That car.

That's still a nice car.

Right?

It'd be so cute to have it, like, with a big bow at my birthday party.

Now you're just reaching.

What do you mean?

It's not that hard to get a big bow. Okay, I can just look up. Big bow.

Big car bow.

And it gets delivered like the next day.

See?

Same day.

Same day. We'll see.

Overnight. We'll see.

I don't think it's that hard.

But like I said, we'll see. When the time comes, we'll see.

I'm over here trying to have a wonderful birthday, and I feel like you're

really, like, trying to spoil my birthday fun.

No, I'm not.

You're not, like, supporting the fun birthday.

As a brother, you should be like, yeah, go off, have a great birthday. Yeah,

yeah, I think he should have a great birthday, but with a bow on top of the

like that, it's just reaching.

I don't think so.

Have you been looking at wheels for your car, or you don't care about the

wheels?

Doesn't the car come with wheels?

Well, yeah, but you could always add your own little taste to it.

Like, what kind of wheels would I get?

I don't know. Do you want girly wheels, or do you want actual wheels?

Hold on. There's a girly version.

Girly.

There's ones with hearts on them.

I've seen wheels with hearts on them. I have not seen wheels with hearts.

Really?

Yeah. Those are rims.

They come in pink, black, white.

These are wheels or are these rims? They're rims. Wheels, rims. They have

Same shit.

Don't say same shit because it's not same shit.

Tires are different. See, that's where I get confused. I call wheels tires

because that's what I thought it was because apparently they're not.

Oh, that's so cute though, isn't it?

Yeah, they're nice. They're expensive as fuck though. They are.

Because that's per wheel and not for the set.

Oh.

That's stupid.

What do you mean that's stupid?

Per wheel, not for a set.

Yeah, a set I think is like... So I'm just gonna... I'm buying one wheel.

But I have four of them, so why wouldn't they sell them in a set?

Because they just sell them. Actually really cute. Some people, you know, some

people are weird and they put different wheels on the back and different wheels

on the front.

Stupid.

I don't know, I don't... Some people do. Normal people have all the same four

tires, but yeah.

Hey, that's actually really cute, the pink.

Those are the girly version of wheels, aren't they?

I don't know. I think those are the girly going ones that I've seen so far.

Okay, these?

Like a flower?

That's pretty cool. That's actually really cute. It's like a dandelion.

Imagine that on a baby blue car.

Oh, and that one?

Pink flower.

It's like a lily.

I think they call it a sakura.

Is that a flower?

I think so. Like a blossom?

Well, don't worry. I have the internet right here. I can just look it up right

now. It's a sakura flower.

It's a cherry blossom.

You were close. I was close.

We were both close.

Oh, they're pretty.

I think these wheels would look really cute if I got the car wrapped in pink.

The black ones?

No, the...

The little pink flower.

Pink on pink?

What's wrong with pink on pink? It's a girly car.

Oh, no, I feel like too much pink just kills it.

I think you're just not seeing the vision. Everything is pink on pink on

even the interior.

Even the interior?

Okay, no.

Okay, I think you need to see it. Why don't you come down here?

Don't shake your head like that. You're going to get me my car.

I am, but like I said, you still got a long ways to go.

No, long ways is next week. My birthday is next week.

You have a goal out here. You have to get me my car.

You got a long ways to go, but we'll see.

Like I said, I didn't say, I said I'll talk to him. I didn't say what's going

happen.

Whatever, whatever. I'm sure whatever you say, your dad will get me a car.

I think we should go look at cars now.

Yeah? Let's go take a look.

Let's go.