Original subtitles

I'm gonna give you the cocksucker,

but I got some demands.

I'm thinking Lilyhammer.

AGENT: Look, here's the file to your new identity.

From now on, you're Giovanni Henriksen.

-To new beginnings. -New beginnings.

Six-months daily course

for immigrants that struggle to adapt to Norwegian society.

Is this blackmail?

Definitely.

And this is gonna be my teacher.

If you get into any, and I mean any trouble with the police,

you are on your own.

(MAN BREATHING HEAVILY)

Ah.

Hypothetically, if a man likes a Norwegian woman he met on a train,

and he keeps running into her now and then,

where would they go from there?

Uh...

(ROAR EXHALES)

(JAN CHUCKLES)

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(CONTINUES SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(TOILET FLUSHING)

Hey, towelhead.

(IN ENGLISH) What? Hey, towelhead.

(IN ENGLISH) What?

Listen, you might wrap your women like mummies back in Taliban country,

but here, we treat our broads with respect.

Comprende?

Get your hands off me.

You're not listening.

Next chance you get, you're gonna shake that teacher's hand

and shut the fuck up about it, you got it?

Don't make me get emotional about this little misunderstanding.

Good.

Now, get out.

-Funny. -Hello.

(IN ENGLISH) Take my hand, please.

Ain't you done yet?

(ROAR CLEARS THROAT)

How much?

That ain't gonna happen.

How about 50?

We got a deal or not?

Okay, fuck it then.

(IN ENGLISH) Fifty's great. Yeah. 50.

Tell you a little story about a hero of mine.

Gentleman named Benjamin Siegel.

Don't call him Bugsy.

One day, he decided to build the world's greatest club

in the middle of a desert.

Well, everybody laughed.

But today, that place is called Las Vegas.

(IN ENGLISH) Here, here.

We have the same opportunity.

And when we're done, people are going to forget the Olympics were ever here.

WOMAN: Okay.

What's that?

It's (CLEARS THROAT) union stuff.

Any non-union-related questions?

(IN ENGLISH) It's against the law.

I'm glad you brought that up.

You're fired.

(IN ENGLISH) Get the fuck out.

Get out.

Anybody else wanna join the union?

Those were the best-looking waitresses you could find?

Yep.

Half of those broads are on the wrong side of menopause.

(IN ENGLISH) ain't exactly a model agency, you know?

Listen, listen, listen. You represent me now.

You've gotta let that caged lion of creativity that's inside you run free.

(IN ENGLISH) I'll try that. Okay?

What, now?

All right.

What now? What now?

Officer, what can we do for you?

Gig?

What was the name of the act again?

Elvis? What's that? Elvis doing Judy Garland songs?

Gay Elvis?

Well, listen,

I am sure you are terrific, okay?

But, I didn't know anything about it.

We already booked a band for opening night.

(IN ENGLISH) So...

It's okay. We'll fit you into the future, that's all.

Okay, well, you call me?

-Absolutely. -Okay.

-Fine. Thank you. -You got it.

Gay Elvis? What's next, a straight Liberace?

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(CHUCKLING)

(GEIR SIGHING)

(JAN LAUGHING)

(FRANK CLAPPING)

Recruiting for a new workshop at the cabin, I see.

Just kidding.

I'm here for a favor, actually.

We need some pretty bartenders, you know, down at the Flamingo?

I thought, "Let's go see my pal Jan,

"because who knows better than him

"those that are both unemployed and good looking?"

(CHUCKLES)

Jan, let's not make this more complicated than it has to be.

(CHANGING CHANNELS)

(MAN SPEAKING ON TV)

(SPEAKING ARABIC)

(TURNS TV OFF)

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(TURNS ON TV)

(TURNS TV OFF)

(YUSUF SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(INAUDIBLE)

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(CRUSHING BEER CAN)

(IN ENGLISH) Hello.

I didn't know you Norskies were so good at waste management.

(IN ENGLISH) do-it-yourself package.

Yeah.

I just hope this shit's safe,

'cause it looks like the fucking Beverly Hillbillies over here.

(JAN LAUGHING)

This might be the worst fucking winter sports show, like, ever.

Al-Qaeda on Ice.

(BOTH LAUGH)

(IN ENGLISH) Sure you're not afraid?

Absolutely sure.

(GIRLS WHOOPING)

(LAUGHS)

Spectacular!

You look like Nancy Kerrigan before she got whacked.

Oh, sure.

I'll bring Lawrence of Arabia, he doesn't seem too busy at the moment.

(IN ENGLISH) Okay.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

(GROANING)

Shit. You okay? What is it? Your leg?

Easy, easy, easy.

(SIGRID GROANING)

No Band-Aid's gonna fix this.

Excuse me, there's nobody here.

(SIGRID SOBBING)

Hello, her leg?

Okay, enough!

Go fuck yourself!

Hey! Can we get a little help here?

Lunch?

Guess what, you Harry Potter fuck? Lunch is over.

(BANGING)

The doctor will see you now.

I'll take care of it.

(BELL RINGING)

Hey, big guy. You all right?

(IN ENGLISH) Hi, you must be Sigrid's friend. I got her message.

Yeah. What about those punks, are they gonna be punished for this or what?

Oh, no, we believe that dialogue is a much more effective

weapon against this kind of anti-social behavior.

Interesting theory.

Let's go.

Look, your teacher...

All this talk, snakke...

It's no good. It's not gonna get you any respect.

Here's what you gotta do.

Next time you see that kid.

The leader there, the one with the yellow jacket...

-(IN ENGLISH) Finn? -Finn.

You go up to this Finn, right?

And you don't say nothin'

but you got a mitten, and you fill it with rocks, stein.

And you smack him just like that, right on the nose.

Problem solved.

(FRANK CHUCKLES)

Cheers.

You got a great kid there.

You know, when that thing heals,

I'd like to take you dancing.

(IN ENGLISH) Sounds nice.

Slow-dancing, of course.

Yeah, of course.

Well,

guess I should be going.

Yeah.

Sure you'll be okay?

(IN ENGLISH) Thank you for the help today.

(SIGRID GROANING)

Come on.

Don't be so brave. Put your arm around my shoulder, come on.

That's it.

Easy.

Easy does it.

You okay?

Easy.

Gonna be all right now?

Okay.

I guess this is good night.

(SIGRID CHUCKLES)

(IN ENGLISH) Nice to meet you.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(IN ENGLISH) Fuck, I'm hot! Fuck.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(IN ENGLISH) I'm coming, bitches.

(GROANING)

(ROY SHUSHING)

(LAUGHING)

(SPITTING)

(TORGEIR GRUNTING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

(PEPPER SPRAY HISSING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(SPITTING)

(PANTING)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Yeah.

-Fuck. -(IN ENGLISH) Every fucking thing!

Okay.

All right. I'm on my way.

(IN ENGLISH) Hi.

I'm sorry, go back to sleep.

I got a little crisis at the club.

Listen, I had a great time last night, teacher.

-See you later, all right? -(IN ENGLISH) Okay.

(DOOR OPENING)

(SMACKS TONGUE)

(CHUCKLING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hmm?

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

(LAUGHING)

Any idea where we could find these fuckers?

FRANK: Mmm-hmm. Hmm.

Let's go take care of a little business.

That him?

Don't worry, I think he'll come to us.

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Looks like your bike has a little fucking problem.

How about we give you a ride?

You're taking us to where your pals have my goods, you understand?

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

This guy obviously needs a little extra motivation.

Bring him. Come on.

(GRUNTING)

(IN ENGLISH) He's heavy.

Hey, hey, hey. Peter Fonda, you see that?

Let's go.

(PANTING)

You're sure you don't wanna talk?

(SCREAMING)

(COUGHING)

(GROANS)

I think we should provide him the opportunity to,

you know, improve his score with a second run.

(IN ENGLISH) Yes, I agree.

Take it easy.

Time for a sit-down with you, gentlemen.

I'm just a simple club owner

trying to keep his patrons' glasses filled.

(IN ENGLISH) If you think you can beat up one of my guys,

how do you say...

(IN ENGLISH) Going unpunished.

Please, you can speak Norwegian.

I'm a dedicated student to your culture.

FRANK: Well, you started it.

You beat up one of my guys, I beat up one of yours.

You take a finger, I'm gonna take an arm.

In the end, nobody wins.

(SCOFFS)

Enough with the drama. I got screwed, too.

I didn't know it was stolen.

I got a suggestion.

You give me the booze,

I'll collect the money from the guy who sold it.

Been reading the papers.

Got a little problem with the local cops, huh?

Money laundering?

So I can get rid of a couple of pots of coffee every day.

Fabricating band fees. Capisce?

Could mean another 100,000 kroner a month.

Minus an administrative fee.

(LAUGHS)

(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

We good to go, baby?

(IN ENGLISH) Yes.

Whoa! What a jacket!

(IN ENGLISH) Yeah, baby. What do you think?

Hmm?

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

I gotta take this.

Hey, teach.

Something wrong with my homework?

(FRANK CHUCKLING)

(IN ENGLISH) for the flowers and the invitation for tonight.

But?

(IN ENGLISH) I have to go to Jonas' school for a meeting.

Yeah? What's wrong?

I don't understand. He knocked out two teeth.

You don't say.

(IN ENGLISH) I don't understand why he has suddenly started to do such things.

Well, you know, boys will be boys.

(FRANK CHUCKLES)

We can go out some other night. It's all right.

All right, bye.

-Huh? -Wow.

All right, now get out there and kill 'em!

(IN ENGLISH) Get out there, girls!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Come on, everybody! Clap your hands.

(IN ENGLISH) Fantastic bar.

Thank you, thank you.

(IN ENGLISH) Coming right up.

(IN ENGLISH) Ditto.

(SINGING)

Arnie...

I brought Travis Bickle here for a reason.

He's got something to give you.

Let's just say he's found the spiritual wisdom in his heart to

admit when he's wrong.

And it's hard to drive a cab with 10 broken fingers.

(BAG UNZIPPING)

Until his debt's fully paid,

he's agreed to give all your guys free transportation.

He's trying to do the right thing.

Cheers.

(GLASS CLINKING)

(SINGING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(IN ENGLISH) Man, oh, man.

What's the score?

(LAUGHING) Fuck, boss!

Join me for a drink before we call it a night.

Something's cooking down there. It smells terrible.

(SIGHS)

(SNIFFING)

(DOOR OPENS)

(IN ENGLISH) Yeah, baby.

Vegas is coming to Norway.

That's right, baby.

(HISSING)

-(EXPLOSION) -What the fuck was that?

(SIRENS WAILING)

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's all this?

I didn't call anybody. Everything's under control, fellas.

LAILA: (IN ENGLISH) Hey, hey, hey!

Just had a little mishap with the gas tank. Nothing serious.

(IN ENGLISH) Nothing serious?

Listen, I'm sorry you guys had to bring out all this shit for no reason, okay?

He's a little something, all right? Get yourself a new hose.

Excuse me, officer, wouldn't you need a warrant for that?

(SIGHS)

English CCs OCR'd from Netflix Brought to you by DFLIX