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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,814 --> 00:00:07,999 Kick. 2 00:00:10,269 --> 00:00:12,470 Okay, so, I'll drop you off at work, 3 00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:13,738 go to the dry-cleaners, 4 00:00:13,772 --> 00:00:15,639 and then take the Robertsons to go see some condos. 5 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,409 - Sorry. What's the plan? - Oh, don't forget... 6 00:00:18,443 --> 00:00:21,178 we have to take the fryer grease to the dump. 7 00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:22,947 Eddie: Um, hello? 8 00:00:22,998 --> 00:00:24,715 Basketball game? 9 00:00:24,749 --> 00:00:25,516 Right. 10 00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:26,984 So, dump, restaurant, 11 00:00:27,018 --> 00:00:28,836 cleaners, basketball game, condos. 12 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,656 _ 13 00:00:33,525 --> 00:00:35,640 S02E03 Shaquille O'Neal 14 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:36,827 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 15 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:38,662 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 16 00:00:38,713 --> 00:00:40,831 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 17 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,082 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 18 00:00:42,134 --> 00:00:44,502 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 19 00:00:44,553 --> 00:00:45,803 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪ 20 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,705 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪ 21 00:00:47,739 --> 00:00:50,674 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 22 00:00:50,725 --> 00:00:52,843 Hurry up and eat breakfast while I shower. 23 00:00:52,894 --> 00:00:55,062 I don't want to be late for work. 24 00:00:55,814 --> 00:00:58,983 Make sure they don't turn their breakfast into curse words. 25 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,518 Eddie: That just floated onto my spoon... I swear. 26 00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:03,604 Relax. I'm a cool dad. 27 00:01:03,655 --> 00:01:04,822 [Door closes] 28 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,157 Boys, you know how our anniversary is coming up? 29 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,325 - No. - Of course. 30 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,694 12 years... the silk and linen anniversary. 31 00:01:10,745 --> 00:01:13,497 I finally figured out the perfect present for mom. 32 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,832 You say that every year. 33 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,034 Why do I want to watch money wilt? 34 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,286 Interesting how you'll pay a stranger to cook for us, 35 00:01:19,337 --> 00:01:21,455 but you expect me to do it for free. 36 00:01:21,506 --> 00:01:22,589 Beautiful. 37 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:23,757 Does it also come with a sign that says, 38 00:01:23,791 --> 00:01:25,259 "cut my throat and take this"? 39 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,461 I admit, your mother's difficult to shop for. 40 00:01:27,512 --> 00:01:29,379 But I realized my mistake. 41 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,599 I need to give her a hot, romantic experience 42 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,134 like I did on our wedding night. 43 00:01:35,687 --> 00:01:37,104 I'm a little nervous. 44 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,807 Don't worry. You're in good hands. 45 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,785 We need something to tie these to! 46 00:01:51,819 --> 00:01:54,154 [Chuckles] 47 00:01:54,205 --> 00:01:55,989 Buying the van... 48 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,657 that's how you spent your wedding night? 49 00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:58,875 Yep. 50 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,744 And this year, I'm gonna re-create the magic 51 00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:02,996 by taking her shopping for a second car. 52 00:02:03,047 --> 00:02:04,214 Mom's never gonna go for that. 53 00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:05,248 She hates spending money. 54 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,000 But she knows we need another car, 55 00:02:07,051 --> 00:02:08,385 and she loves negotiating. 56 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,754 Just to throw out another option... 57 00:02:10,805 --> 00:02:13,390 what if I told you there was a mode of transportation 58 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:16,426 that is cheaper and way more fun? 59 00:02:16,477 --> 00:02:18,929 [Bell dinging] 60 00:02:19,981 --> 00:02:21,848 You kids want a summertime treat? 61 00:02:21,899 --> 00:02:23,900 It's too hot for hot dogs. 62 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,486 Is it? 63 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,172 [Twinkle!] 64 00:02:29,207 --> 00:02:30,740 Whoa! It's the hot dogger! 65 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,410 Now your favorite food is your favorite toy! 66 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,529 You supply the buns! 67 00:02:37,164 --> 00:02:38,365 We're not getting that. 68 00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:41,418 Don't worry. You guys will be nice and cool 69 00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:45,088 in the air-conditioned luxury of this glamorous baby... 70 00:02:45,122 --> 00:02:49,676 a brand-new 1995 Honda Accord in champagne pearl, 71 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,961 the most elegant color in the neutral rainbow. 72 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,130 So you'd rather get a boring car? 73 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,516 You know who doesn't think accords are boring? 74 00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:57,934 Your hero... Shaq. 75 00:02:57,968 --> 00:02:59,302 That's right. 76 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,222 I'm taking your mom down to Shaquille O'Neal motors. 77 00:03:02,273 --> 00:03:05,108 Why is Shaq selling a car he can't even fit into? 78 00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:06,476 Come along and ask him. 79 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,111 Dad, he's not gonna be there. 80 00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:09,479 It's a licensing deal. 81 00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:11,147 They paid the diesel a bunch of money 82 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,149 to slap his name on something. 83 00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:16,152 "Shaq Fu." 84 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,704 Jessica: Louis, please. 85 00:03:17,738 --> 00:03:19,822 No anniversary presents this year. 86 00:03:19,874 --> 00:03:22,625 Let's just go back inside and water the plants. 87 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,627 No, it's gonna be great. Trust me. 88 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,579 Bye, boys. Listen to grandma. 89 00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:30,049 M'lady. 90 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:31,334 [Metal screeching] 91 00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:35,338 Ugh! 92 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,639 Some old funyuns. 93 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,095 The romance is just beginning. 94 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,568 [Metal screeches] 95 00:03:48,602 --> 00:03:51,737 Don't wait up, boys. We'll be gone for hours. 96 00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:56,392 Sounds like it's time to party. 97 00:04:03,917 --> 00:04:05,535 - You got one, too? - Mm-hmm. 98 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,703 Shampoo? 99 00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:09,486 I don't want to show up empty-handed. 100 00:04:09,506 --> 00:04:10,957 Okay. 101 00:04:11,008 --> 00:04:14,210 Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. 102 00:04:14,261 --> 00:04:16,462 Ooh-la-la. Pert plus! 103 00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:17,463 Thank you! 104 00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:18,714 It both of us. 105 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,765 What's this noise? 106 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,050 Eddie, Emery, 107 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,053 I want you to meet Oinker, Frisky, Can-Do, 108 00:04:24,104 --> 00:04:26,522 Tina Pham, Peanut, Shamus, Pi, and Wally-Wally. 109 00:04:26,556 --> 00:04:28,891 Hello! Evan, I... 110 00:04:28,942 --> 00:04:31,227 Stop. Are those beanie babies? 111 00:04:31,278 --> 00:04:32,361 Yes. 112 00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:34,664 Meet Oinker, Frisky, Can-Do, Tina Pham, 113 00:04:34,698 --> 00:04:36,699 Peanut, Shamus, Pi, and Wally-Wally. 114 00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:39,402 - You know these things? - I collect them. 115 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,753 I have all of these, 116 00:04:40,787 --> 00:04:44,190 except that boring-looking unicorn with the tattered label. 117 00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:45,608 But since we're friends, 118 00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:47,126 I could take him off your hands for you. 119 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,761 For, wha like $10? 120 00:04:48,812 --> 00:04:51,514 $10? Those are limited editions. 121 00:04:51,548 --> 00:04:53,132 Pocolltibles at the mall 122 00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:55,017 would pay a fortune for these. 123 00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:57,369 Well, it's 10:00 A.M. and we already got beef. 124 00:04:57,404 --> 00:04:58,370 Hmm! Excuse us. 125 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,319 - Why did you say that? - I don't know, it just cam out. 126 00:05:01,339 --> 00:05:03,211 You better think befor you speak. 127 00:05:03,231 --> 00:05:05,108 Louis, where are we going? 128 00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:07,196 You know I don't like surprises. 129 00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:10,749 Sorry! I just forgot my keys! 130 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,468 All: Surprise! 131 00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:13,636 [Grunts] 132 00:05:13,638 --> 00:05:14,620 [Body thuds] 133 00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:15,871 Poor Mitch. 134 00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:18,724 That was the day of his junior-college graduation. 135 00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:20,743 Ah, here we are. 136 00:05:20,777 --> 00:05:23,545 Shaquille O'Neal Motors. 137 00:05:23,596 --> 00:05:25,514 Surprise! 138 00:05:29,886 --> 00:05:31,320 [Metal screeches] 139 00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:33,405 I know what you're thinking, but don't worry. 140 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,740 We can afford it. 141 00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:37,760 [screeches] Plus, you get to negotiate... 142 00:05:37,762 --> 00:05:39,261 just like on our wedding night. 143 00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:40,729 Happy anniversary. 144 00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:42,281 Hey! 145 00:05:42,332 --> 00:05:43,499 Hi. My name's Clark. 146 00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:45,801 Welcome to Shaq Motors. How can I help you? 147 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:46,935 Hello. I'm Louis. 148 00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,737 My wife and I are in the market for a new car. 149 00:05:48,788 --> 00:05:49,788 That's wonderful, Louis. 150 00:05:49,823 --> 00:05:51,006 Now, where is your lovely wife today? 151 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,090 [Chuckles] I know, I know. 152 00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:55,010 She looks like my daughter. Uh, okay. 153 00:05:55,012 --> 00:05:57,412 What I'm trying to say is I don't see anyone with you. 154 00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:59,414 What? 155 00:05:59,449 --> 00:06:00,699 Jessica? 156 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:01,917 Where'd she go? 157 00:06:01,951 --> 00:06:03,285 Wives, huh? 158 00:06:03,336 --> 00:06:05,120 Too bad they don't come with six months of free lojack, 159 00:06:05,171 --> 00:06:07,506 like all the cars do here at Shaq Motors. 160 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,802 Yeah. 161 00:06:22,663 --> 00:06:24,722 I've been looking all over for you. 162 00:06:24,742 --> 00:06:26,536 I turned away for one second and you were gone. 163 00:06:26,556 --> 00:06:28,565 What happened? I had to get out of there. 164 00:06:28,585 --> 00:06:30,670 I just needed to get a drink some place quiet 165 00:06:30,672 --> 00:06:32,071 where I wouldn't be bothered. 166 00:06:32,106 --> 00:06:33,322 Usually when I'm at a bar, 167 00:06:33,373 --> 00:06:36,175 Jewish guys are all over me, but not here for some reason. 168 00:06:36,226 --> 00:06:38,161 This set of testicles bothering you? 169 00:06:38,195 --> 00:06:40,513 No, Deb. He's just my husband. 170 00:06:40,547 --> 00:06:41,881 Louis, sit down. 171 00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:44,383 There's something I need to tell you. 172 00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:46,602 Ooh, that conversation. 173 00:06:46,653 --> 00:06:48,854 You're gonna need more chex mix. 174 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,500 [Sighs] 175 00:07:01,502 --> 00:07:03,436 I haven't been completely honest with you 176 00:07:03,487 --> 00:07:05,085 about our wedding night. 177 00:07:05,539 --> 00:07:07,106 Mr. and Mrs. Huang, 178 00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:08,941 we've been negotiating for hours. 179 00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:10,843 I'll knock off another $200, 180 00:07:10,877 --> 00:07:12,762 but that's the best I can do. 181 00:07:12,813 --> 00:07:14,230 I accept your defeat. 182 00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:15,448 [Louis laughs] 183 00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:17,450 How good does that look? 184 00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:19,769 Jessica Huang. That's my wife. 185 00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:20,903 [Laughs] 186 00:07:20,937 --> 00:07:22,154 I'm gonna go warm up our new van. 187 00:07:22,156 --> 00:07:25,007 What a night! 188 00:07:25,635 --> 00:07:27,026 Don't feel bad. 189 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,360 You'll be able to tell your firstborn 190 00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:29,662 that you tangled with the best. 191 00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:31,931 My firstborn is about all you left me with. 192 00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:34,533 That and the floor mats. 193 00:07:34,535 --> 00:07:36,766 Repeat that now, what you just said. 194 00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:38,804 Oh, right here. See? 195 00:07:38,838 --> 00:07:41,529 You opted out of the optional floor-mat option. 196 00:07:42,842 --> 00:07:44,393 No. 197 00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:46,412 That's it? 198 00:07:46,463 --> 00:07:48,330 Louis, I blew it! 199 00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:49,982 Free floor mats! 200 00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:52,318 That's the one thing dealers always throw in, 201 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,003 and I missed it! 202 00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:56,221 I overlooked the most basic detail! 203 00:07:56,223 --> 00:07:58,707 You're overreacting. It was just floor mats. 204 00:07:58,742 --> 00:08:01,727 No, it wasn't just floor mats. It was our wedding night. 205 00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:04,279 It was the first thing that we did as a married couple, 206 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:06,131 and I messed it up. 207 00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,467 And every year, I'm forced to think about it. 208 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,685 So, what are we supposed to do? 209 00:08:09,736 --> 00:08:11,503 Just never get a new car ever again? 210 00:08:11,538 --> 00:08:13,539 If you want a car, get a car. 211 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:17,075 But I can't walk through those automatic glass doors again 212 00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:20,512 and be reminded of the biggest mistake of my life. 213 00:08:24,534 --> 00:08:25,601 Well... 214 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,820 You remember floor mats, 215 00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:31,264 I remember the first time we signed our names together. 216 00:08:35,502 --> 00:08:37,880 Band-aid's off, ney. You did it. 217 00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:40,332 Wiener-free since '83. 218 00:08:42,619 --> 00:08:43,835 What are you doing? 219 00:08:43,837 --> 00:08:46,271 I figured out a way to get us the hot dogger. 220 00:08:46,273 --> 00:08:48,624 We take these down to the mall and we sell them. 221 00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:49,708 I don't know. 222 00:08:49,728 --> 00:08:51,387 Do you think Evan's gonna be okay with this? 223 00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:53,384 He's fine with it. I already asked him. 224 00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:55,330 Hey, Evan, can I sell your beanie babies 225 00:08:55,381 --> 00:08:57,315 and use the money to buy a hot dogger? 226 00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,867 Yeah, that's a great idea, Eddie. 227 00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:00,710 Why didn't I think of that? 228 00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:03,623 _ 229 00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,657 Awesome. Let's do it. 230 00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:07,459 Okay, come on. 231 00:09:07,461 --> 00:09:08,427 [Door closes] 232 00:09:08,461 --> 00:09:10,228 Well, it wasn't how I planned it, 233 00:09:10,263 --> 00:09:15,083 but I went and got the car by myself like you wanted me to. 234 00:09:16,936 --> 00:09:18,403 These are real. 235 00:09:18,437 --> 00:09:19,955 What's going on? 236 00:09:20,006 --> 00:09:22,307 I wanted to apologize. 237 00:09:22,341 --> 00:09:24,643 You had no way of knowing how I felt, 238 00:09:24,677 --> 00:09:27,379 and you were jusying to do something nice. 239 00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:29,447 Well, I shouldn't have walked out. 240 00:09:29,482 --> 00:09:32,284 No, you shouldn't have. Deb had to drive me home. 241 00:09:32,286 --> 00:09:34,653 I sat in the back with her welding equipment. 242 00:09:34,687 --> 00:09:37,689 She's very handy. Her husband is lucky. 243 00:09:37,691 --> 00:09:39,958 Come on. Let me show you the new car. 244 00:09:40,009 --> 00:09:41,326 ♪ Yeah ♪ 245 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:45,730 I have to say, Louis, this is a fine machine. 246 00:09:45,781 --> 00:09:47,916 The neutral luster is so elegant. 247 00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,301 Champagne pearl? 248 00:09:49,352 --> 00:09:50,435 Good eye. 249 00:09:50,437 --> 00:09:52,771 And check this out... the door... 250 00:09:52,822 --> 00:09:54,456 [Gasps] 251 00:09:54,507 --> 00:09:55,423 It works. 252 00:09:55,474 --> 00:09:57,175 Convenient! 253 00:09:57,226 --> 00:09:59,911 A second car is going to make our lives so much easier. 254 00:09:59,945 --> 00:10:02,347 Tell me... Did you get a good deal? 255 00:10:02,381 --> 00:10:04,849 I got a great deal. I got that deal. 256 00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:08,036 Paid sticker price and not a penny more. 257 00:10:12,858 --> 00:10:14,158 I'm sorry to hear you're unhappy with the car. 258 00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:15,360 But, you know, we stand by 259 00:10:15,411 --> 00:10:17,262 that 24-hour Shaq-isfaction guarantee. 260 00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:18,463 And we are sorry 261 00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:21,232 that we don't feel like lighting money on fire. 262 00:10:21,283 --> 00:10:24,306 Sticker price? Shame, Clark. 263 00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:25,386 Shame. 264 00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:28,539 Congratulations. You did it. 265 00:10:28,574 --> 00:10:29,540 What do you mean? 266 00:10:29,575 --> 00:10:31,442 They have to honor their return policy. 267 00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:34,846 No, you said you could never go in another dealership again. 268 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,198 But you just walked through those automatic glass doors. 269 00:10:37,232 --> 00:10:38,783 Only because I had to return a car 270 00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:42,887 that you paid way too much money for, which... 271 00:10:42,921 --> 00:10:45,556 You did on purpose to get me down here. 272 00:10:45,607 --> 00:10:47,525 Let's do this again. 273 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,811 And this time, we won't miss a detail. 274 00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:56,567 Oh, my God. Are you all right? 275 00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:57,785 Did you slip on some savings? 276 00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:58,820 No. 277 00:10:58,871 --> 00:11:01,739 We'd like to buy that car... 278 00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:02,874 Again. 279 00:11:04,681 --> 00:11:06,662 So you wanna buy back the car you just returned? 280 00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:08,844 That's right. Returner's remorse. 281 00:11:08,864 --> 00:11:10,705 We get that all the time at Shaquille O'Neal Motors. 282 00:11:10,725 --> 00:11:12,801 Once you go Shaq, you don't go back. 283 00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:14,005 So, you know what? 284 00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:15,606 I won't shred this check you gave me, and we'll just... 285 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,659 this check was for a new car. 286 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,362 - That car is used. - Yeah, by you. 287 00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:23,297 We don't know what's happened to it in the last five minutes. 288 00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:24,398 Mm-hmm. 289 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,000 We want to talk to your manager. 290 00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:28,436 The top guy's the only one who can authorize a better deal. 291 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,838 Well, you're in luck because I'm the top guy here. 292 00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:32,189 You're the top manager? 293 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,375 Working the floor? With those teeth? 294 00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,810 That's me. 295 00:11:35,844 --> 00:11:38,746 Okay, looks like Clark wants to dance. 296 00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,314 We want to take your car for a test-drive. 297 00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:41,732 But you just drove it here. 298 00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:43,384 Well, that was when it was a new car. 299 00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:45,903 We don't know what's happened to it in the last... 300 00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:47,922 six minutes. 301 00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:51,575 Time to knock back the roses. 302 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,244 Eddie: Whoo-hoo! 303 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,646 [Dramatic music playing] 304 00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:59,333 Hot dogger! 305 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,567 Whoo! 306 00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:01,752 The hell?! 307 00:12:01,786 --> 00:12:03,771 - Get in here! - Okay! 308 00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:05,956 I can't believe dad finally got us the hot dogger! 309 00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,374 Dad didn't buy it. We did. 310 00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:09,576 With the money we got selling your beanie babies. 311 00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:11,645 Repeat that now, what you just said. 312 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,347 You said you were cool with it. Remember? 313 00:12:13,415 --> 00:12:15,032 It was when you were painting grandma. 314 00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,317 Hey, Evan, can I sell your beanie babies 315 00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:19,119 and use the money to buy a hot dogger? 316 00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,055 Yeah, that's a great idea, Eddie. 317 00:12:21,089 --> 00:12:22,106 Why didn't I think of that? 318 00:12:22,157 --> 00:12:24,758 Hear that, moon man? He's cool with it! 319 00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:28,379 It's pronounced "Moonman"... Les Moonman. 320 00:12:28,618 --> 00:12:31,550 _ 321 00:12:33,201 --> 00:12:36,310 Ohh. It must have been a dream. 322 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,404 A dream?! 323 00:12:37,455 --> 00:12:39,339 I haven't painted grandma in months! 324 00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:41,642 But now we have the hot dogger! 325 00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:43,410 That's what we all wanted! 326 00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,013 So much better than dumb stuffed animals. 327 00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:48,081 They weren't dumb stuffed animals. 328 00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:49,728 They were my friends. 329 00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:52,736 I did it for us! 330 00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:56,363 I'm so mad at you, Eddie. I have to go meditate. 331 00:12:59,951 --> 00:13:00,901 [Ship horn blows] 332 00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,252 [Grunts] 333 00:13:02,254 --> 00:13:03,603 Good morning, sleepy head. 334 00:13:03,638 --> 00:13:04,988 You were snoring. 335 00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,307 Uh, sorry. I've never fallen asleep on a test-drive before. 336 00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:08,825 [Clears throat] Where are we? 337 00:13:08,860 --> 00:13:10,396 See for yourself. 338 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:16,766 Those containers are full of 1996 Honda Accords. 339 00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:18,435 We're at the docks in Tampa? 340 00:13:18,437 --> 00:13:19,569 That's an hour and a half away! 341 00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:21,938 It is beautiful this time of year. 342 00:13:21,973 --> 00:13:23,874 The end of the model year, 343 00:13:23,908 --> 00:13:25,592 when you need to clear out the '95s 344 00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:27,444 to make room for the '96s. 345 00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:29,212 Work paged me 13 times! 346 00:13:29,247 --> 00:13:30,347 My boss is gonna kill me. 347 00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:32,649 Oh, your boss? I thought you were the manager. 348 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:34,885 Okay, fine, yeah. I have a manager. 349 00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:36,519 You can bet he's gonna want to talk to you two. 350 00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:38,838 Perfect, because we want to talk to your manager. 351 00:13:42,219 --> 00:13:46,205 Well, I heard you two had quite the test drive with Clark. 352 00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:49,532 I-I've reviewed everything, 353 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,918 and the lowest I can go is $21,000. 354 00:13:51,953 --> 00:13:54,204 The lowest you can go, maybe. 355 00:13:54,238 --> 00:13:55,872 We want to talk to your manager. 356 00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:57,173 I am the manager. 357 00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,642 - That's what Clark said. - Well, I assure you I am. 358 00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:02,247 And this is the best price you're gonna get. 359 00:14:03,147 --> 00:14:04,614 Very shiny name plate. 360 00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,282 So either you're a neat freak, 361 00:14:06,317 --> 00:14:08,568 which I know you're not by the salsa stains on your shirt, 362 00:14:08,619 --> 00:14:10,587 or it hasn't had time to collect dust 363 00:14:10,638 --> 00:14:13,189 because you've only been here a few months, 364 00:14:13,224 --> 00:14:15,758 making it unlikely you're the highest manager. 365 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,828 What can I say? I'm a wunderkind who likes wet burritos. 366 00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:20,296 And who still needs a reminder 367 00:14:20,331 --> 00:14:22,699 to dial 9 to get an outside line? 368 00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:26,586 Well, William got me up to speed. 369 00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:28,188 Now, I've reviewed everything, 370 00:14:28,222 --> 00:14:30,540 and the lowest I can go is $25,000. 371 00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,983 [Laughing] Oh. 372 00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:41,868 The silent treatment, huh? 373 00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:44,020 Well, it's not gonna work on me. 374 00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:45,388 I thrive on silence. 375 00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:52,472 _ 376 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:53,744 _ 377 00:14:53,764 --> 00:14:55,064 Please stop fighting. 378 00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:57,083 You're scaring the other customers. 379 00:14:57,117 --> 00:14:59,719 $20,000 is the lowest I can go. 380 00:14:59,753 --> 00:15:00,987 _ 381 00:15:01,007 --> 00:15:01,737 _ 382 00:15:01,757 --> 00:15:04,734 _ 383 00:15:05,442 --> 00:15:08,161 [Deep voice] Well, Randy filled me in here, and told me... 384 00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:10,379 You're the boy we took to Tampa. 385 00:15:10,414 --> 00:15:12,114 But with a mustache. 386 00:15:12,598 --> 00:15:15,117 [Sighs] I told them it wouldn't work, you know? 387 00:15:15,152 --> 00:15:16,269 It didn't work, guys! 388 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,554 [Sighs] Let's just end this. 389 00:15:18,589 --> 00:15:21,224 It's been a long day. I'm tired. You're tired. 390 00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,525 I'm not tired. 391 00:15:22,543 --> 00:15:24,760 I just took a nap right now while you were talking. 392 00:15:24,795 --> 00:15:26,404 With my eyes open. 393 00:15:27,114 --> 00:15:30,132 Look, I... $19,000 is the best I can do. 394 00:15:30,183 --> 00:15:32,485 I've thrown in everything that I can. 395 00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:33,753 Including floor mats? 396 00:15:33,787 --> 00:15:37,073 Yes, for the millionth time, including floor mats. 397 00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:40,643 [Sighs] Do we have a deal? 398 00:15:42,446 --> 00:15:44,580 [Chuckles] Oh, honey. You did it. 399 00:15:44,582 --> 00:15:47,400 [Chuckles] Louis, thank you. 400 00:15:47,451 --> 00:15:50,086 This was the best anniversary present ever. 401 00:15:50,088 --> 00:15:51,721 [Chuckles] 402 00:15:51,723 --> 00:15:52,855 [Sighs] 403 00:15:52,857 --> 00:15:54,790 [Chuckles] 404 00:15:58,879 --> 00:16:01,263 - Is something wrong? - Why are you sweating? 405 00:16:01,265 --> 00:16:03,199 Uh, the air-conditioner's broken. 406 00:16:08,779 --> 00:16:10,339 Where does that door go to... 407 00:16:10,373 --> 00:16:11,523 the one with the peeling paint? 408 00:16:11,575 --> 00:16:13,676 What? It's aup... supply closet. 409 00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:16,178 A supply closet in a top manager's office?! 410 00:16:16,212 --> 00:16:17,279 Open it. 411 00:16:17,281 --> 00:16:19,465 Why?! It... it's boring in there! 412 00:16:20,884 --> 00:16:23,118 Both: We want to talk to your manager! 413 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,753 I am the manager! 414 00:16:24,755 --> 00:16:26,355 Forget it! 415 00:16:26,389 --> 00:16:27,990 The offer is off the table. 416 00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:30,926 You just blew the deal of a lifetime 417 00:16:30,928 --> 00:16:33,395 'cause you can't get... [Telephone ringing] 418 00:16:46,376 --> 00:16:47,509 Uh, mm-hmm. 419 00:16:48,317 --> 00:16:49,528 Y-yes. 420 00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:51,270 Yes. 421 00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:53,419 Y-yes. 422 00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:55,250 Uh... 423 00:16:58,507 --> 00:17:01,823 My manager would like to speak with you. 424 00:17:03,827 --> 00:17:05,828 [Sighs] 425 00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:11,516 ♪ Yeah ♪ 426 00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:13,619 Shaquille O'Neal. 427 00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:14,670 Congratulations. 428 00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,738 No one has ever made it this far. 429 00:17:20,243 --> 00:17:22,311 You are the final manager. 430 00:17:22,313 --> 00:17:23,645 Yes, I am. 431 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,048 I sign off on every car that comes through this place. 432 00:17:26,050 --> 00:17:28,667 I realized that if I put my name on a product, 433 00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:30,519 I got to stand by it. 434 00:17:30,553 --> 00:17:33,555 We don't want another... "Shaq Fu." 435 00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:40,028 Check out the latest endorsement I just had to reject... 436 00:17:40,329 --> 00:17:42,013 Shaq-uila. 437 00:17:42,048 --> 00:17:43,899 Nice. Basketball-shaped Tequila. 438 00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:47,802 [Glass shatters] 439 00:17:47,837 --> 00:17:49,821 It seemed like a good idea at the time. 440 00:17:50,411 --> 00:17:52,541 Uh, speaking of basketball, 441 00:17:52,592 --> 00:17:54,309 doesn't the season start in a couple weeks? 442 00:17:54,343 --> 00:17:55,777 - Oh, yeah. - I mean... 443 00:17:56,197 --> 00:17:58,213 You look a lot bigger in person. 444 00:17:58,264 --> 00:18:00,315 Well, wait till you see Charles barkley's fat ass. 445 00:18:00,349 --> 00:18:02,117 I just have to skip third lunch. 446 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:03,718 I'll snap right back into shape. 447 00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:07,322 Okay, enough basketball sports. Let's talk business. 448 00:18:07,373 --> 00:18:09,925 Yes, I heard you and Freddie talking behind the wall. 449 00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:11,826 I'm very impressed, and for that, 450 00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:15,213 I'll give you $500 off... $18,500. 451 00:18:15,264 --> 00:18:16,097 $18,100. 452 00:18:16,148 --> 00:18:17,198 $18,400. 453 00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:19,834 $18,200 and free car washes for a year. 454 00:18:21,687 --> 00:18:24,255 [Keyboard keys clacking] 455 00:18:24,306 --> 00:18:26,174 $18,250... 456 00:18:26,176 --> 00:18:28,159 And a pair of fuzzy dice for the rearview mirror. 457 00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:30,211 Deal. 458 00:18:31,347 --> 00:18:32,263 [Chuckles] 459 00:18:34,917 --> 00:18:35,884 [Gasps] 460 00:18:35,918 --> 00:18:37,385 Let go of my hand, lady. 461 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,654 Just one more thing. 462 00:18:39,705 --> 00:18:42,357 You got Shaq's autograph?! 463 00:18:42,391 --> 00:18:44,192 On his big shoe. 464 00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:46,110 But I... I can't... no, wait. I... yeah. 465 00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:48,463 I got to calm this down. I got to calm this mess down. 466 00:18:48,497 --> 00:18:49,714 Oh, we'd take you to meet him, 467 00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:50,765 but he just left to clean up 468 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,233 a big mess at Shaq Motors Nashville. 469 00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:54,118 Some raccoons got into the Corollas. 470 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,437 That makes sense. Shaq is great with animals. 471 00:18:56,472 --> 00:18:58,406 At least I still got this tank! 472 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,258 I can't wait to show Emery and Evan! 473 00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:01,593 You know, a few years from now, 474 00:19:01,627 --> 00:19:03,478 you can sell that thing for a lot of money. 475 00:19:03,529 --> 00:19:04,862 It's not about the money. 476 00:19:04,897 --> 00:19:06,281 I'd never sell this shoe. 477 00:19:06,315 --> 00:19:08,944 It means way too much... 478 00:19:10,152 --> 00:19:11,633 to me. 479 00:19:11,653 --> 00:19:13,421 [Sighs] 480 00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:19,877 [Gasps] My beanie buddies! 481 00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:22,713 Oinker! Tina! 482 00:19:23,443 --> 00:19:25,433 I know it was hard selling that shoe, 483 00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,109 but you did the right thing. 484 00:19:27,129 --> 00:19:29,120 You're a good brother. 485 00:19:29,154 --> 00:19:31,372 I had it in my hand. 486 00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:34,242 I fit my entire face inside of it. 487 00:19:34,293 --> 00:19:36,744 It smelled like pizza. 488 00:19:37,184 --> 00:19:39,463 I love this car. 489 00:19:39,498 --> 00:19:41,299 And no one made any money off of it. 490 00:19:42,074 --> 00:19:44,418 [Chuckles] So, I'll take the grease to the dump 491 00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:45,920 and then drop Eddie off at practice. 492 00:19:45,971 --> 00:19:47,555 And I'll take Evan and Emery to the store, 493 00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:50,758 then we'll pick up grandma from the hand surgeon. 494 00:19:51,207 --> 00:19:52,727 [Sighs] This car is too nice to drive. 495 00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:54,345 Let's just all just jam in the van. 496 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:57,989 Take a knee. 497 00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:01,240 We took a loss today, and there's no way around it. 498 00:20:01,274 --> 00:20:04,527 Today, they were better than us. 499 00:20:05,192 --> 00:20:07,078 But you know what? 500 00:20:07,129 --> 00:20:08,543 That's only one car. 501 00:20:08,563 --> 00:20:12,204 Out there, there are 387 more new and pre-owned cars, 502 00:20:12,224 --> 00:20:16,054 each one of them looking for a warm garage to call home. 503 00:20:16,088 --> 00:20:17,579 Who's gonna get them home? 504 00:20:17,599 --> 00:20:19,155 Is it you, Barbara? 505 00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:21,393 Randy? William? Freddie? 506 00:20:21,427 --> 00:20:23,978 As a matter of fact, Freddie, you're fired. Get out. 507 00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:25,230 Get out, Freddie! 508 00:20:25,264 --> 00:20:26,431 Okay. 509 00:20:26,482 --> 00:20:28,183 I'm just playing, Freddie. Sit down. 510 00:20:28,999 --> 00:20:31,121 - Sit down. I'm just playing. - Okay. 511 00:20:31,141 --> 00:20:34,272 But seriously, you've got to get your ass together. 512 00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,944 Listen... I believe in what we're doing here, 513 00:20:38,964 --> 00:20:40,545 and I know you do, too. 514 00:20:40,579 --> 00:20:42,419 Remember who you sell for. 515 00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:44,499 Remember the name that's embroidered 516 00:20:44,533 --> 00:20:48,453 on the front of your shirts... Shaquille... 517 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:49,788 All: Shaquille. 518 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,183 - O'Neal... - O'Neal... 519 00:20:51,203 --> 00:20:53,508 - Motor Cars... - Motor Cars. 520 00:20:53,542 --> 00:20:54,793 Now say it together. 521 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,670 Shaquille O'Neal Motor Cars. 522 00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,129 Thank you. 523 00:20:58,180 --> 00:20:59,297 [Head thuds] 524 00:20:59,348 --> 00:21:01,398 Raise this damn door! 525 00:21:01,596 --> 00:21:03,929 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 36719