All language subtitles for Big.Foot.Burgers.2026.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

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Mama, help, mama, help, mama, help!

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I am standing here live
at the edge of the blaze line

of the Mount Baldy rest area
with firefighters who have been

up all night fighting a never ending battle

against what is now called
the Furnace Creek fire.

Since then, the crowds
have evacuated with fear

of being trapped in the
wall of never ending flames,

that is everyone except Mrs. Thornton,

whose daughter got separated
shortly after the fire started.

Mrs. Thornton, can you
tell us what happened?

My husband and I set up
camp at the edge of the creek.

When we woke up
around midnight to the smell

of the approaching fire,
we immediately got up

and looked to see the flames moving swiftly

in our direction.

My husband woke up our
daughter, scooped her up in his arms,

and we darted through the
flames towards our vehicle.

We didn't even have time to pack up.

It was that sudden.

Is that when you got separated?

Yes, we were almost at our
Jeep when this burning branch

just fell at my feet.

It separated us from our little girl.

Mama, help!

And then what happened?

My husband immediately
tried to jump over the flames.

His pants caught fire.

While I extinguished the
flames off my husband's pants,

we waited for just a little
bit hoping she'd find her way

back, but.

We just keep hoping against hope

that a miracle will happen.

Faith!

Mommy, mommy.

Oh my God, Faith.

Frich, get this, get this!

Not them, him!

I guess I'm having it their way.

♪ Out in the woods where
the wild things roam ♪

♪ There's a legend of a
burger not made at home ♪

♪ A giant patty as big as a tree ♪

♪ The Bigfoot Burger,
come take a bite with me ♪

♪ It's got the sauce ♪

♪ It's got the cheese ♪

♪ You can't find it unless you believe ♪

♪ It's not a myth ♪

♪ It's not a dream ♪

♪ Just a burger that's bigger
than you've ever seen ♪

♪ Bigfoot Burger, what a sight ♪

♪ A giant feast that'll last all night ♪

♪ Lettuce, pickles, and buns so tall ♪

♪ One bite and you'll have it all ♪

♪ Bigfoot Burger tastes so rare ♪

♪ Out in the woods, but it's everywhere ♪

♪ The grill is sizzling ♪

♪ Time to celebrate ♪

♪ A burger so big can't fit in your plate ♪

♪ They say Bigfoot made
it with hands so wide ♪

♪ Now every hungry soul
has gotta come for a ride ♪

♪ It's got the spice ♪

♪ It's got the crunch ♪

♪ A mountain of flavor in every punch ♪

♪ Bigfoots secret is in that grill ♪

♪ One bite and you'll
be chasing the thrill ♪

♪ Bigfoot Burger, look what a sight ♪

♪ A giant feast that last all night ♪

♪ Lettuce, pickles, and a bun so tall ♪

♪ One bite and you'll have it all ♪

♪ Bigfoot Burger tastes so rare ♪

♪ Found in the woods but it's everywhere ♪

♪ Is it real or is it fake ♪

♪ One thing's for sure ♪

Hey, Gordon Ramsey, you
got my tuna sandwich or what?

Hang on, hang on.

I'm back here making Sasquatch stew

and slapping together
sandwiches like a madman.

Give a guy a break, huh?

Well, it's not like you've
gotta go patch the fish first.

Just open a can of tuna
and mix it with some mayo.

Look, gorgeous, you know I love you,

but I'm alone back here.

I can't handle the volume.

The boss needs to hire a new line cook.

In the meantime, if it's so easy,

why don't you make the dang
tuna sandwiches yourself?

Okay, I will.

Gimme a pair of gloves.

Help yourself. ♪ Tastes so rare ♪

♪ Found in the woods but it's everywhere ♪

♪ Boogfoot burger, what a sight ♪

Vwala, now watch my
sandwich making skills.

Oh baby, I'm watching.

I'm watching real good.

♪ Lettuce, pickles, and a bun so tall ♪

♪ One bite, and you'll have it all ♪

♪ Bigfoot Burger, it tastes so rare ♪

♪ Found in the woods, but it's everywhere ♪

♪ Bigfoot Burger what a
sight, oh, what a sight ♪

♪ A giant feast that'll last all night ♪

♪ Lettuce, pickles ♪ - Done.

Not bad, not bad.

I think you should come back here

and make all the sandwiches
from now on, actually.

Maybe I will.

♪ Bigfoot Burger, what
a sight, oh, what a sight ♪

Geez, we're happy that
the restaurant is so busy,

but it's much too busy
for three waitresses!

Where's the boss?

We need to tell him to hire more staff.

Move, this nigga needs a drink!

Bossman, hey, bossman, back there.

We need more staff!

Boss, we're thrilled that
the restaurant is popping

like this, but every day,
it just keeps getting more

and more unmanageable.

Yeah, we just can't keep up.

It's only noon and I'm already pooped,

and I work the night shift and
we have a party of 25 booked

at 9:00 PM.

Look, I love making
300 bucks before noon,

but at this rate, I'm gonna collapse.

I haven't had a day off in three weeks.

Oh no.

Ladies and germs, in a
preposterous turn of events,

Bigfoot is making headlines

and raking in a whole
new kind of big business.

That's right, folks.

Our beloved elusive giant
has stepped out of the forest

and into the limelight.

It's been reported that Bigfoot
has opened a restaurant.

Yes, you heard it correctly.

The once mysterious creature
is now the talk of the town,

and everyone seems to be
celebrating their burger joint

affectionately named Bigfoot Burgers

is taking the culinary world by storm.

I mean, who wouldn't want
to sink their teeth into a burger

with a dash of animal savagery, right?

So there you have it, folks.

Bigfoot is the new sensation,

and it seems that everyone
from forest like and enthusiasts

to premeditated foodies
is falling head over heels

for the primordial legend
we all thought we knew.

Stay tuned for more updates
on this utterly big news.

Being from Beverly Hills,

what do you think all the commotion

is surrounding Bigfoot Burgers?

Oh my goodness, it's not just the fact

that Bigfoot's burgers
are just the most delectable

hamburgers I've ever eaten.

Tutles, he loves them too.

Oh, Tutles, you little shitball.

Oh, the nerve.

Bill, wait, wait, wait, we
have one more, one more.

Sir, what do you think all the hype

is around Bigfoot Burgers?

Is this thing on?

Yeah, we're on Channel Six Live News.

Oh. - So who are you?

Hi, I'm Mick Mill, Attorney at Law.

Are you a landlord
that can't seem to get rid

of some deadbeat derelicts?

Do you have crackers, junk
heads, and hookers playing poker

for food stamp cards on your front porch?

Well, today's your lucky
day, because I'm Mick Mill,

eviction attorney at law and I specialize

in deadbeat derelict.

Now, sir, ma'am, I mean, ladies,

what makes you two so gaga
about these Bigfoot Burgers?

I didn't even think I liked girls,

but I agreed to go on a date with her,

'cause she promised to
take me to Bigfoot's Burgers

and Babes, and that
date changed everything.

Now we're married.

Those burgers, oh, they just
stirred up something inside me

and I realized what a sexually frustrated

and bitter single Los Angeles
base heterosexual woman I was,

and now I'm a happily married lesbian.

Thanks, Bigfoot.

Now, sir, what is it about these burgers

that'll make you wait in
line for hours just to get in?

Ooh, honey, now these are some burgers.

I can't stand those big
breasted waitresses,

but these burgers are so good.

I just close my eyes
and say, gimme the meat.

Hi, I'm Lila Lullaby here
live from Hollywood Boulevard

with Margarita Fernandez from Mexico City.

So why are you so obsessed
with Bigfoot Burgers?

Wow.

♪ Friday night lights and the cities glow ♪

♪ Rocking that style from head to toe ♪

♪ Strutting like queens on the avenue ♪

♪ Every time, they say
there's something new ♪

♪ Neon signs and high school shoes ♪

♪ Comfort Inn, I can't lose ♪

♪ Shine like diamonds in the night ♪

♪ Look at my girls all shining bright ♪

♪ Good girls ♪

♪ Hair done, nails done, feeling right ♪

♪ Taking good girls ♪

♪ Looking good, girls, all in sync ♪

Dude, this is one badass burger.

Woo, doesn't all this
money make you so horny?

Yeah, it sure does.

I just wanna get naked and
roll around in all this cahs!

And to think all of this is
possible because we decided

to come sling burgers at Bigfoot's.

Who would'a thought we
would have this much success?

All this money, woo!

♪ We're looking good, girls, tonight ♪

And once again, gas
prices in LA have risen

to an all-time high.

At this Granada Hills
Kevron, regular is priced

at $25 and 49 cents per gallon.

That's up 69 cents from just yesterday.

This rapid inflation is
really eating Angelinos

where it hurts, and although
unemployment is at 0.5%,

experts still predict
that a recession is right

around the corner.

This is Lala Lullaby
reporting from Granada Hills.

Back to you in the studio, Craig.

If you have plans
to attend music festival

here on New Year Eve,
there's one band says they're no

longer performing.

Why is it so slow?

The economy in
this town is in the toilet.

That's why no one wants to
spend $30 on a hamburger,

But they're really, really good burgers,

and for the penny pinchers,

we have cheaper stuff on the menu too.

Cheaper, not cheap, babe.

Nothing in this town is cheap lately.

Plus, with the price of
gas going up every day,

people just wanna stay home,
conserve energy so they can get

to work the next day.

But wages are up or
that's like what they said

on the news.

But what does that
matter if inflation is upper?

I just think people
don't want to eat out.

They'd rather buy their
burger patties in bulk

at the big box store and
cook 'em up at home.

Yeah, I can understand
that, but this is the fourth day

in a row with no customers.

Well, we do got one customer at least.

Oh!

He's such a lousy tipper
he doesn't even count.

You know what?

That's why we gotta do something extra

to bring in the customers.

We gotta make them feel
like they're getting more

for their money than being served

by the sexiest bitches on the
planet and a Bigfoot sighting.

Oh my higher power, turn that up.

Hi, I'm Ashley Autumn,
and yes, I am that bitch.

I'm the bitch that said I had
Bigfoot's baby just for clout.

Now I want everyone
to know I didn't do that

'cause I am into that sort of thing.

That's really gross.

Like, ew, I did it because I
wanted to become famous,

and now I have my very own reality show.

It's called Big Feet, Big, Dot, Dot, Dot,

and you can keep up with me, Ashley Autumn,

while I learn new and
interesting hobbies, like cooking

and baking, becoming a yoga instructor,

and even running for
president of the United States.

So tune in at 8:00 PM on Wednesdays,

and you can keep up with
me, Ashley Autumn, ciao.

Hey, hey, hey, I was watching that.

Funny how a few months ago
we thought she was the dummy

for not wanting to get in
on this burger slinging joint

with us.

Wonder how much she's
getting paid for that show?

Definitely more than what she's worth,

Ladies, at this point, I
think that we should call her

and try to get on the show.

I've only made eight bucks
in tips over the last two weeks.

Oh, I tried that already.

Bitch changed her number.

She ain't taking our calls no
more now that she's famous.

That ho.

Oh my Lord, that's it.

What's it?

Famous.

Huh?

You ain't making no sense, hun.

I think sudden poverty
might be getting to you.

No, no, Ladies, we need
to have a brainstorm session.

I'm out.

I hate storms.

They're so dangerous,
especially now with global warming.

Excuse me?

So you hate my name too?

My dead Great Aunt Spincer
Sally gave me my name.

No, no, Stormy, we're
not talking about your name.

Stormy is such a beautiful
name, isn't that right?

And Chrissy, we're not
talking about a weather storm

like rain or snow.

We're talking about a brainstorm.

Okay, that actually sounds way worse,

downright disgusting even.

No, no, no, no, Chrissy,

she ain't talking about like a storm

with brains flying everywhere.

Ooh, that would be super gross.

She's talking about like we sit down

and come up with an idea
to get this place going again,

right Dex?

Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

But isn't that the boss' job?

Yeah, I think our boss is
just a tad bit preoccupied

at the moment.

Ladies, it's gonna be up to
us to do the brainstorming.

So we do or we don't have
to go out chasing storms.

Chrissy, focus.

This isn't about storms,
like .

This is about thinking with our brains.

We gotta come up with an idea
to save this damn restaurant,

or we're gonna be on food stamps.

Actually, it's called EBT.

It's a debit card, and you
can buy sushi at Whole Foods,

just FYI.

Oh, whatever, EBT, TBD, TMI, WYD.

We are all gonna be B-R-O-K-E, broke,

if we don't come up with an idea

to get this place going again.

I don't want to be broke.

That would mean I would have to go back

to my old sugar daddy,
and he smells like onions.

None of us want that for you.

Now Dex, you said something about famous?

Yes, that's right.

That's it.

What's it?

The solution.

To what?

The restaurant.

What about the restaurant?

OMG Chrissy, we gotta
save this gosh darn restaurant.

If it keeps being is dead,
we are gonna lose our jobs.

Oh yeah, I don't want that,

'cause then I would have
to go back to my old...

- Back to your sugar daddy.
- Back to your sugar daddy.

We know. - We know.

So what are we gonna do about it?

Yeah, what are we gonna do about it?

I know.

We're gonna get a famous celebrity to come

into the restaurant, and that
will bring in the customers.

Yes, oh,

people love celebrity, yes.

I'm sure if we got a celebrity
to make an appearance,

the customers would come back.

So do we know any celebrities?

Oh, I heard that.

You might know me.

I'm Jim Wynorski.

I'm a famous movie director,
and I know plenty of celebs.

A limo here in my pocket.

All right, I'm gonna go.

Oh my God, no, no,
no, no, come on, ladies.

Seriously, let's think.

Chrissy, do you know anybody,

maybe somebody you've dated?

Well, I did date Alex Trebek.

The one from Jeopardy?

Girl, he's dead.

They named a street after him.

Oh shoot, oh my God.

He was a good guy.

Canadian, but he was a nice dude.

Think, Chrissy.

Use your noggin.

God, you guys, how do
you expect my brain to function

at all with all these
gross distracting noises?

You got a point?

Let's fix it.

Okay, Chrisy, it's quiet out here.

Now can you think?

No, I can't think properly
without my vape pen.

I'll go get it.

Oh no, this is the blueberry one.

I wanted my passion fruit one.

Okay, enough.

The blueberry vape is the vape you got.

So the blueberry vape is
the vape you're gonna suck.

Go ahead, take a big hit.

Oh yeah, this will do just fine.

I forgot this one as the THCGs.

Thank you, Jesus, for THC.

It's the only thing keeping anyone

in this rapidly downward,
spiraling metropolis,

that it's an apply called
City of Angels saying.

Hmm, Amen, the LA city
should really be renamed the city

of inequality and injustice.

Thanks, Sherlock.

You're just now figuring that out?

Actually, it took me being broke to know,

but let's not get negative.

Let's work into the solution.

Right, right, now,
Chrissy, can you think?

Oh yeah, my mind is free and clear now.

I dated Henry Weinstein.

Oh, how old are you?

I mean, you know what?

I hate that I even asked that.

Girl, he's still in prison.

Girl, he's dead.

His cellmate took him out with a shank made

of hot Cheetos and a toothbrush.

Oh good, I never liked
that asshole anyways.

Girl, he ain't dead yet.

They actually tried and
convicted him a few minutes back

here in LA.

He got an extra 16 years.

He's actually located at the Twin Towers.

So if any of you old
school convicts would like

to help us girls out and beat his ass,

his name is Henry Weinstein,

and his booking number is
45678933 Henry Weinstein.

He looks like a troll, and
please contact me via kickcock

for a picture and a more
accurate description.

Dex, prisoners don't have kick cock.

All prisoners - All prisoners

have kick cock. - have kick cock.

That's how I met my boyfriend.

Hashtag prison cock.

Anyways, girl, I know
Weinstein isn't dead yet.

I was just speaking it into existence.

Everyone could do without his presence.

Girl, I'm all about
the death of Weinstein,

'cause with his perverted
ass still around, no one is safe.

So is Henry dead or in prison?

I'm super confused right now.

Girl, you're always confused,
but he's not dead yet,

but maybe.

By the time this stupid movie comes out,

he will be. - He will be.

So let's talk about
somebody that's not dead

and not in prison.

Oh, I dated Barack
Obama.

What, Barack Obama? - What, Barack Obama?

Like Michelle's husband, Barack Obama?

Yes, that Barack Obama.

I call him Barry, though.

Everybody does.

So when did you date Barry, Chrissy?

Oh, don't worry.

It was before Michelle.

It was while he was at Harvard Law School.

He was in one of my classes.

You went to Harvard Law?

Don't, just don't.

Don't even ask.

Just let it go. - Okay, okay.

Back to the business of Barack at hand.

So what corporate big wig

or government shark are you gonna call?

I'm gonna call Barry, I mean Obama,

or I'm gonna call my ex-boyfriend, Barack.

Brilliant idea. - Brilliant idea.

Maybe take out your phone.

Okay, I'm lying.

I never dated Barack.

I just really, really,
really, really want to.

Chrissy, you've gotta stop

with these delusional fantasies.

Come on, get it together.

Now, who do you know that is famous?

Come on, bitch.

I dated Roman Polowski.

He's in exile in France.

Actually, he's wanted by Interpol.

So he's no used to us either.

I dated Bernie Madoff.

OMG.

Bernie Madoff?

Feeling the burn, Bernie,

like I'm a democratic socialist Bernie?

No, girl, you're talking
about Bernie Sanders.

Oh yeah, you right.

You dated Bernie Sanders.

I love that dude.

Girl, everybody loves that
dude, except for the DNC,

those idiots.

That's why we ended up with Trump,

and then they weaseled
Hillary onto the ballot

and they screwed Bernie.

Shit, I'd screw Bernie.

He's an old man, but he's the real deal.

He passes the wokeness litmus test.

He could get it.

How is he in bed?

So you dated Bernie Sanders?

All of a sudden, I'm so confused.

Was it during his campaign?

Because he really
doesn't seem like the type

to cheat on his wife, but
he was a hippie in his sixties.

So you know, free love and all that.

No, not Sanders.

I don't even know Colonel
Sanders, and I hate fried chicken,

So that wouldn't be a match anyway.

I dated Bernie Madoff.

Wall Street swindler Bernie Madoff?

The worst father of the
millennium Bernie Madoff?

Best friend and advisor
to the SEC who fleeced half

of Manhattan Bernie Madoff?

Yes, that Bernie Madoff.

Girl, he's dead.

Oh, maybe that's why he
hasn't been sending me money

for the past decade or so.

I was wondering about that.

Funny how I think it's something about me

but really, it has nothing
to do with me at all.

I thought he stopped sending me money

because he didn't like me anymore.

Girl, I'm sure that psychopathic
swindler just loves you

from his prison cell.

Oh, I'm sorry, from his
coffin that's six feet under.

Oh, okay, well, that
makes me feel better at least.

Okay, forget about the guys.

Do you know any famous female celebrities?

I know Martha Stewart.

Oh, could she bring Snoop Dogg?

No, contrary to popular opinion,

they don't kick it like
that outside of works.

Yeah, you know, as
for the excitement factor,

I don't really feel Martha would be...

Oh, I know, I know Becky Lebow.

Who's Becky Lebow? - Who's Becky Lebow?

She starred in the
Blockbuster hit Dinosaur Island.

- Oh, that Becky Lebow.
- Oh, that becky Lebow.

She's a babe.

How do you know her?

We used to have the same sugar daddy.

Duh, they have the same sugar daddy.

That's great news.

Well, hit her up.

Let's get this party started.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on, let's go tell
the boss we have a plan.

♪ Walk in like a thunderstorm ♪

♪ Lightning in my face,
yeah, I break the norm ♪

♪ Eyes only, feel the pressurize rise ♪

♪ You can't look away, don't eve try ♪

♪ Better close your doors ♪

♪ Better clear the way ♪

♪ I don't play nice ♪

♪ I don't obey ♪

♪ You know my name,
yeah, you heard the talk ♪

♪ Now you watch me turn in up a notch ♪

♪ Here comes trouble ♪

♪ Better step aside ♪

♪ Once fucking I ignite the night ♪

♪ I don't follow ♪

♪ I make my own rules ♪

♪ Want to role with me,
gotta break 'em too ♪

♪ Yeah, you know my name ♪

♪ Set the world in flames ♪

♪ Can't control, no, I can't be tamed ♪

♪ Yeah, be tamed ♪

♪ Too loud, too wild,
that's what they say ♪

♪ But I was never meant to fade away ♪

♪ Too much fire, too much fun ♪

♪ But if you can't keep
up, better turn and run ♪

♪ Better lock your
doors, better stay awake ♪

♪ Why should I play nice and obey ♪

♪ You know my name,
yeah, you heard the talk ♪

♪ Now watch me turn it up a notch ♪

♪ Here comes trouble ♪ - Oh my God.

♪ Better step aside ♪

♪ One spark ♪

♪ And I ignite the night ♪

Boss, open up the door.

It's important.

We need to talk.

What the hell?

Your boss is a little busy.

Sorry, ladies.

Oh hell no. - Oh hell no.

You better open up this
door or I'mma bust this down!

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Yeah, you might see some
things you can never unsee.

Do it!

Bitches, out!

She said out!

Did you hoes not hear me?

I said get the fuck out!

We need to talk to our boss!

This is beyond important!

You ratchet ass hoes better run!

I don't wanna see your
face in his place no more!

Come on!

Get the fuck out!

Yeah, you ratchet ass
hoes better never come back!

Get off our boss!

Yeah.

Sorry, I'm gonna need these,

because it's perfectly fine

to be a hoe as long as
you're always a safety first hoe.

What the fuck, boss?

We haven't had any
customers in here in weeks,

and we're not making any money.

Yeah, we know you don't
care because all you be doing

is cohorting with random
ass groupies all day.

And at this point, if we don't
get any paying customers,

then Bigfoot Burgers
and Babes is gonna have

to shutter its doors, and you're gonna have

to say bye-bye groupies,

and you're gonna be considered a failure,

and no one wants to a fuck failure.

Yes, really,

but luckily we got a plan bossman.

We are gonna make the
burger joint great again.

Yes, we are.

We're gonna have a celebrity
appearance this weekend.

Leave it to us, boss.

We got this.

She said yes.

Becky Lebow said yes.

She'll do it.

Becky Lebow from Dinosaur Island?

That's your favorite movie.

Look, ladies, if we're
gonna pull this off,

we gotta go now.

Go where?

To your house.

Why we gotta
go to Dexter's house?

Because she has a swimming pool,

and I'm dying to take a swim, oh,

and because Becky Lebow said
she'll meet us there in an hour

and she's bringing a famous friend.

Heck, say less.

Vamos.

Yes, we're leaving.

Wait, did y'all say y'all are leaving?

Yes, we're leaving.

We've got very important
business to attend to

to save this burger establishment.

Well, if all y'all are leaving together,

who's gonna wait on the customers?

There are no customers.

Hey, I am a customer.

Look at this, look at this.

I'm a customer.

See, the drunk guy
at the bar is a customer.

Just give him a beer.

He'll be just fine.

Hey, where's my beer?

Thank you.

♪ Was it a bubble ♪

♪ Nothing feels so real ♪

♪ Drifting far away ♪

♪ On the sultry thrill ♪ -
Oh, your sugar daddy no more

♪ Every single heartbeat
racing to the beat ♪

♪ Dancing with the daylight ♪

Hey, hoes, get out the pool.

They're here.

Okay, girl, just do it.

Everybody, just sit down!

Well, first off, I'd like to
thank you so much for coming

to our rescue.

Oh, well, I'm all for helping out small,

female-owned businesses
in any way that I can.

But we're not female-owned.

Maybe not if you wanna be technical,

but we are definitely female-operated.

100%, all our beast-of-a-boss
does all day is cavort

with harlots.

Hey, who are you calling a harlot?

Not calling anyone a harlot.

I mean, by the way, who are you?

Oh, how rude of me.

I didn't even introduce
you to my partner in crime.

What, you guys are criminals?

I thought you were
supposed to be celebrities.

They're celebrity criminals.

What?

We are not criminals
or harlots, for that matter.

Oh ladies, ladies, we do not
need an episode of bad girls

and no one called you
a harlot or a criminal.

That's not true.

You just called me a criminal.

So did she.

To be fair, I said celebrity criminal.

And you called me a harlot.

I did not call you a harlot.

I said, all our beast-of-a-boss
does all day is cavort

with harlots.

Wow, he's really that horrible a boss

that you call him a beast?

No, we don't call him that.

We call him boss.

We don't call him a beast.

He is a beast.

You mean a beast and burden?

You know, the stone
song?

You know, Debbie had
an affair with Mick for years,

and she almost had his love child.

Almost?

Well, I would've had his love child,

but I had my tubes tied in 1981 instead.

That is fascinating,

and you must tell us all about it later,

but first, who are you again?

Oh, Debbie, tell these
ladies who you are.

Oh, I am Deborah Dutch,
star of stage and screen.

I've been in Bruce Lee
Fights Back from the Grave,

Graduation day, Howard,
the Amazing Mr. Hughs,

The Man Who wasn't There,
Protocol, DC Cab, Torch Play,

Miami Vice, Sorority Girls
and the Creature from Hell,

Action Jackson, Haunting
and Morrow, Hard to Die,

Dinosaur Island, Death Dancers,
Vampress, Lady of the Night,

Mayan Twister, The Last
Run, Angel of Reckoning,

Hellcats Revenge, Noose
Luck, Meathook Massacre,

and recently, Giantess, Battle of Attack.

I play a foxy boxer.

You see, I wanted to bring
Debbie along, because, well,

I can sing, but I don't really dance.

Debbie, here, is the dancer.

Oh, so you ladies are planning on singing

and dancing for us?

- Isn't that what you want?
- Yes, absolutely.

That sounds fantastic.

But I thought she was just supposed

to appear at the restaurant.

Isn't that what you mean
by a celebrity appearance?

I'm super confused.

Well, singing and
dancing is so much better

than just merely
appearing, wouldn't you say?

Oh, well, I'd say, but we
ladies, we can't really afford

to pay you for your performances.

We're practically broke.

Yeah, that's why we have

to do this whole thing in the first place.

The restaurant has been so dead lately.

We're not making any money.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm a professional entertainer,

and I don't do gigs for free.

Ah, come on, Deb, not even
to help out a couple of gals

just trying to make a living
out here in the city of angels?

Chrissy here is my good
friend, and we go way back.

We once successfully
fought off Bill Cosby together.

I'm sorry, hun, but I must be paid

for my artistic expression.

Okay, let us go crunch some numbers.

No, that's too high.

Just one more.

Yeah, that's it.

Okay, so we've gone over our finances,

and with the economy being what it is,

we have agreed to pay
each of you exactly $29.75.

I'll take it.

Better than a kink in the teeth.

We got ourselves a deal.

Oh, my dog, What time is it?

Where's my purse?

Where's my phone?

Where's your brain?

That's not important right now.

I just need my purse and my phone.

What time is it?

It's 4:00 PM.

Oh my God, deb, we gotta go.

I'm late for my mid-afternoon appointment

with my sugar daddy.

Hey, make that money.

This is good, ladies,

really good.

Yeah, it is.

I just love smoking out of my favorite bong

by the pool instead of working.

So relaxing.

She means the plan.

The plan is good.

What plan?

The plan to have celebrities come

to the restaurant and perform.

Oh yeah, yeah, that plan is good.

You know what's really good?

This hybrid strain.

Ooh, this shit smacks.

I didn't even get this
from my usual dispensary.

Maybe I should switch dispensaries.

You know what?

I am so damn high.

You know what would
be perfect right about now?

A shot of tequila.

That'd be really rail me out. - Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, ladies.

We have to keep our
wits about ourselves, now.

We gotta pull this off.

So when are we gonna
do it, tomorrow night?

We can't do it tomorrow night.

That's Tuesday.

We wanna do it on Saturday so
we can get the weekend crowd.

And get that word out.

Yeah, get the word out.

Yeah, and how are we gonna do that?

What?

Get the word out.

Oh, that's easy peasy.

We just gotta make it kick cock.

Who do we gotta kick in the cock?

No, we don't gotta
kick nobody in the cock.

Oh damn, that's a shame.

Oh, tell us how, Stormy-licious.

What, how to kick someone in the cock?

It's easy.

You just gotta aim properly.

If you want, I can show you.

I used to kick men in the cock for a living

during my dominatrix stage.

You were a dominatrix?

Yeah, sure I was.

How else do you think I paid for Harvard?

So on that note,

I think we need to jump in this dang pool.

The last one is is one
broke, bum-ass bitch.

So how are we gonna make this kick cock?

Oh, that's easy.

We ain't gonna make a kick cock.

Huh, we ain't?

I think I could have
stayed in bed, in that case.

No, we ain't gonna make a kick cock.

The kick cock is getting made.

We just need some beautiful
social media influencer.

♪ Indica and Sativa ♪

Well, well, well, speak of the devil.

Two devils.

You got yourself two
devils for the price of one.

Devilish little devils.

Girls, we're so happy that you're here.

Now which one of you is Indica

and which one of you is Sativa?

I'm Indica James, I'm a
fashion blogger kick cock star.

I'm Sativa Samsonite.

I have 135 million followers,
and that's just on Insta.

You're both the woman I want to marry.

Oh my God, so sorry about him.

We are so happy that
you ladies could come out

and hype up our man.

Oh, the pleasure is ours.

Yes, it most certainly is.

We want the big dick Bigfoot clout.

Oh, a stage, I adore a stage.

It makes me feel like
the shining star that I am.

♪ One bring tall, the
other brings great fire ♪

Yes, he's sexy beast, we
want you to come over here

and play with us right now.

♪ Indica and Sativa, oh, sweet relief ♪

Okay, start filming.

This is live streaming
on kick cock right now.

♪ You're on kick cock now ♪

♪ Twist your face and show them how ♪

♪ Dance like nobody's watching wow ♪

♪ You're the star, take your bow ♪

♪ You're on kick cock now ♪

♪ twist your face and show them how ♪

♪ Dance like nobody's watching wow ♪

♪ You're the star, take your bow ♪

♪ You're on kick cock now ♪

♪ Twist your face and show them how ♪

♪ Dance like nobody's watching wow ♪

♪ You're the star, take your bow ♪

♪ You're on kick cock now ♪

♪ Twist your face and show them how ♪

♪ Dance like nobody's watching wow ♪

Oh,
what are all these roses

and presents popping up?

Oh, their followers pay a
lot of money to send those.

For reals?

And they get that money?

- No, we don't get the money.
- No, we don't get the money.

Kick cock takes 99 cents of every dollar.

Yes, it really is quite unfair.

That's why we gotta get paid
other ways like promotions.

Well, that sounds

beyond unfair, but speaking of promotions,

aren't you ladies here to
help us promote our event

this Saturday?

I thought that's what we
were here to do right now.

Don't tell me we gotta come back Saturday.

Well, we would
really, really love for you

to come back Saturday.

We don't wanna come back Saturday.

We have way better things to be doing.

We're having a party at the Hype House.

Rumor is that skinny little
rapper with the colorful dreads

who ratted everybody out is coming.

What's his name again, 45?

Oh, you mean the one who
got his ass beat at the gym

in Florida?

Dang, that shit was so fake, but anyways,

to answer your questions,
ladies, yes, you are here

to promote it right now.

So please, ladies, talk about it!

Plug the restaurant and the event!

Okay, so what's the name of this place?

Bigfoot's Burgers and Babes.

The name of the restaurant is
Bigfoot's Burgers and Babes!

Okay, great, say that again
for my 1.5 million followers

watching right now.

1.5 million followers
are watching right now?

Well, actually 1.7 million now.

Yes, that's right, folks.

Come on down and visit us

and get your delicious
Bigfoot Burger served

to you by us babes.

Now I'm up to 2.5 million followers.

Dang, I thought Bigfoot was the clout.

It looks like my followers
stumble for bitties and boobies.

♪ Go back in time ♪

♪ I try to change it up, commit a crime ♪

♪ Knowing hindsight is 20-20 ♪

♪ Filled with lies ♪

♪ Just an animal, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Animal ♪

Ladies, thanks to Sativa
and Indica coming by yesterday

and getting our kick cock party started,

we're up to 69 million followers.

That's like a lot, huh?

Yeah, that's like a lot, a lot,

but now we have to interact with them.

Oh. - Oh.

Oh my God, they have so many questions.

How are we gonna answer all these?

We won't be able to answer them all.

That would be impossible.

It's true, but we could at least try.

I say we get started.

Okay, they're asking if
Bigfoot is an expert dancer.

Well, we know he's an
expert at snoring, that's for sure.

Oh, oh wow, they want
us to send them some kisses.

Oh, well, that, we can do.

I am an expert at sending kisses.

Hey, can a hardworking brother get some?

Freddy, stop being a perv.

We are trying to conduct a
serious social media promotion,

not giving out kisses IRL.

Could have fooled me.

Y'all haven't mentioned the event once.

The event, we forgot
to talk about the event.

Dang, y'all need a man in charge

to make sure this don't
become no fire island.

Hey, get that ass back in that kitchen.

Whatever you say, mommy, whatever you say

♪ Move your body, move your body ♪

♪ It's time to shine ♪

♪ Let the music take
control and your mind ♪

♪ So let all shake your ass or divine ♪

♪ Move your body, move your body ♪

♪ Tonight, you're mine ♪

And that's what you call

Reverse sexual harassment.

We've been waiting a long time for this.

Not as long as we have.

Not nearly as long as we have.

Okay, here's another great question.

They're asking what's
going down Saturday night?

Oh, I'll answer that.

Saturday night, we are gonna
have two huge sexy celebs right

here on this very stage.

They're asking for who?

They wanna know if it's Beyonce.

Beyonce?

No, no, no, Sorry, Beehive.

Not queen bee.

Oh no, not Kim K.

Oh, our celebs are way hotter than Kim K.

Yeah, we got our own
big sexy celebrity right here,

our Bigfoot.

Show 'em what you got.

Oh, you remember that one.

Yes, it's one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight,

one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, one, two,

three, four, five,

You seeing this?

Oh yes, that is our body.

You know the bounty on
his head the Russians put

out has doubled.

I am not trying to give anything

to the Russians for mere rubles.

The Saudis are offering $2.5 billion

if he is captured the alive.

Well, then I guess
we're gonna deliver him

to the damn Saudis.

It's a shame, though, as I
feel the Russian scientific

community would be the best trained

to do experiments on him.

I don't want to deliver anything

to the Russians at this point.

My people are such bullies.

May I remind you that we are kidnappers.

We're not exactly angels ourselves.

We're all gonna end up
in the same purgatory.

It doesn't matter nothing anyways.

Look, the Saudis are offering
twice their reward money,

and besides, the Russians
are too busy pissing

away the rubles trying to kidnap Ukraine.

I mean, sometimes, you
just have to decide in life,

Ukraine or Bigfoot.

They choose Ukraine apparently.

You're right.

I know you're right.

Money talks.

Rubles just squawk.

Exactly, I mean, no.

That's not a saying.

Well, I just said it.

So it is now.

In any case, it looks like we have an event

to attend this weekend.

We sure do.

You think we should pull out the wig

and mustaches for this one?

Definitely, it is always
better to er on this side

of deception.

Oh, I can't wait.

That Bigfoot beast ain't gonna
know what hit him this time.

No.

ID.

Have a nice time.

Well, folks, I know you're
already having a great time,

but it's about to get even better,

because it's time for the
Becky and Bigfoot show.

♪ If I could make a wish, go back in time ♪

♪ I'd try to change it up, commit a crime ♪

Okay, now is our chance.

Don't mess it up.

No, you don't mess it up.

I never mess up.

That's your department.

Quit bitching at me and let's go.

You got the injection ready?

That's not it.

Huh, what do you mean?

Look at the label, dummy.

Well, do you have my reading glasses?

Are these?

Why do you have to be
so gosh darn incompetent?

I said reading glasses. - Oh.

Oh no.

What is it now, dumbass.

This is not the tranquilizer.

This is COVID vaccine booster number 176.

Idiot, that's what I've
been trying to tell you,

but wait, it might just be your lucky day.

I always carry an extra
tranquilizer syringe in my purse.

Okay, for all intensive purposes,

this should do the trick.

I think you mean for
all intense and purposes?

No, I mean for all intensive purposes,

because this shit is way too intensive.

Actually, I'd say it's more
extensive than intensive.

If anything, it is both
intensive and extensive.

All of a sudden, nothing is
making any sense anymore.

What are we talking about again?

We are talking about
sticking the Bigfoot in the big ass

with these big ass tranquilizer shots.

Yes, ass shots, I concur.

Do you see him?

No, I don't see him.

Well, he's probably still in his office.

Let's go.

♪ Tired of doing the same
old things day after day ♪

♪ Try to run, try to hide my fears ♪

♪ But the world's turned gray ♪

♪ The scared madness have
come to life wondering who it is ♪

Where the hell is Bigfoot?

He needs to get his big
hairy butt on that stage.

We did not plan this grand finale

for him to be a no show.

We got that dope ass
kobi a band and everything.

Maybe he's in there
humping another groupie?

I don't know what's going
on right here, right now,

but I just know something ain't right.

Let's go get him, that horn dog.

You mean horn Beast.

Whatever, horn dog, horn beast.

We just need to go get his big horny butt

and put him up there on that stage.

And now for the surprise
wild card act of the night,

it's LA's own queen
of rock and roll herself,

Rock and roll Rocky.

You ready to rock?

Come on now, motherfuckers.

Let's rock!

Rock, rock!

He's not here.

What the hell is this?

I don't know, but what I do know

is something stinks in
Denmark, that's for sure.

This is Hollywood, California.

Denmark is in Africa.

No, Chrissy, Denmark is in Afghanistan.

Wait a minute.

Holy Christmas, they're
kidnapping our Bigfoot!

Who got him? - Who?

The evil kidnappers!

Oh my.

Help, help, help!

What's going on, ladies?

They're kidnapping our Bigfoot.

Bigfoot!

Wait a minute, they kidnapped Bigfoot?

Yes!

Which way did they head?

What were they driving?

North in a black hummer!

All right, I got my
black and white outside.

Let's go get those fuckers.

Come on.

Hey, can you grab my blicky?

Get on the ground now,
now!

Get the fuck on the ground!

Now I'm gonna turn you to
imbeciles over to my colleague

from the Culver City PD.

Culver City PD, no, not them.

They're the worst.

then you shouldn't have
gotten off of the Slauson exit,

you dumb asses.

All right. - Get up.

I got a swat van pulling up
around the corner right now.

You two, let's turn them around.

Culver City.

Bigfoot, where's Bigfoot?

Somebody opened this trunk now!

Somebody get a crowbar!

Or the jaws of life!

Or we could just unlock the trunk.

Yay, it's open!

Oh my God, boss, are you okay?

We're sorry that we called
you a horn dog and a pervert.

Please come back to us.

Wake up.

That dude is out cold.

Please don't die.

You can't die on this, boss.

We love you.

Boss, please, please wake up.

Wait, everybody, stand back.

I think I know something that might work.

Boss, wake up.

It's alive, it's alive!

Oh, this is great.

Do you want us to take
you to the hospital, boss?

I think we need to
take him to the hospital.

Oh, this is great.

I was really dreading all that paperwork.

Okay, boss, we got
you.

He wants to go back to the burger joint.

Yes, he's got a show to do.

Come on, let's go.

Gracias, muchas, muchas gracias.

Gracias.

Great news, I won't
be eating my blicky at all.

Look, everybody, he's back.

He's here.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we've done it.

He's back.

Oh, Bigfoot.

Ladies and gentlemen,
sorry for the delay.

You'll be so glad you stuck around,

because for the first time
on stage in the city of Angels,

we have Bigfoot Burgers
present Smokedogg870.

♪ Hey, I woke up this
morning bright and early ♪

♪ I'm feeling good, you know ♪

♪ Woke up the first thing
I said was, what's up ♪

♪ I said, I ain't finna worry
about no words today ♪

♪ It is, I ain't finna
worry about these kids ♪

♪ I ain't finna worry about nothing ♪

♪ I'mma say what I wanna say ♪

♪ And I'm gonna do what I wanna do ♪

♪ The only thing that I ask for y'all ♪

♪ is don't bother me, and I
promise I won't bother you ♪

♪ And think we'll be okay ♪ - We did it!

We made this burger
joint great again!

♪ I'm just being real, but I
will not let you ruin my day ♪

♪ Now I really had a long
week, working hard e'eryday ♪

♪ Every time I do something,
somebody got something to say ♪

♪ Saying what I'm doing wrong ♪

♪ Look, you can move along ♪

♪ Because at the end of the day ♪

♪ I'm gonna do what I want
to and move how I want to ♪

♪ And if you feel some type
of way, do what you going do ♪

♪ Ain't finna stop doing what
I'm doing for your feelings ♪

♪ Not talking like I'm doing
too much when I'm just chilling ♪

♪ So I'm finna go out
and have me a good time ♪

♪ Shoot to the country
and go to the trail ride ♪

♪ Pull me up a little
bit of drink in my soda ♪

♪ And if I take too
many shots in this suit ♪

♪ I don't care what you
people gotta say to me ♪

♪ Because I ain't now one
of y'all finna play with me ♪

♪ And I'm gonna go where I
want as longas I can got feet ♪

♪ But let tell you a little about me ♪

♪ I'mma say what I want to say
and I'mma do what I want do ♪

♪ The only thing that I ask
for y'all is don't bother me ♪

♪ And I promise I won't bother you ♪

♪ And our thing will be okay
as long as you stay out my way ♪

♪ And you can feel how you want to feel ♪

♪ And being real but I will
not let you ruin my day ♪

♪ I'mma do what I want to do,
and this goes for you and you ♪

♪ And you too ♪

♪ Every day I wake up,
I'm in a good ass mood ♪

♪ So do not make me lose my cool ♪

♪ Because I really will act the fool ♪

♪ Try to walk a mile in my shoes ♪

♪ And you'll finally understand
I'm just being a man ♪

♪ And you'll know why I do what I do ♪

♪ I really can't afford to lose ♪

♪ I want to, but I just can't move ♪

♪ Lie, every day I wake
up, the eyes against me ♪

♪ Will make you think I
want a problem with you ♪

♪ So can you please let me do my thing ♪

♪ You play with them but
I don't play those games ♪

♪ Lie, you can lie about
this, you can lie about that ♪

♪ But you better not lie on my name ♪

♪ I'mma say what I want to say ♪

♪ And I'mma do what I want to do ♪

♪ The only thing that I ask
for y'all is don't bother me ♪

♪ And I promise I won't bother you ♪

♪ And our thing will be okay ♪

♪ As long as you stay out my way ♪

♪ And you can feel how you want to feel ♪

♪ I'm just being real, but
I'll not let you ruin my day ♪

♪ I'mma do what I want do
and I'ma say what I want to say ♪

♪ The only thing that I ask
from y'all is don't bother ♪

♪ And I promise I won't bother you ♪

♪ And our thing will be okay
as long as you stay out my way ♪

♪ And you can feel how you want feel ♪

♪ I'm just being real, but
I will not let ruin my day ♪

♪ I'mma do what I want to do ♪

You Russian idiot,

look at the mess you got us into.

You're calling me an idiot.

I'm not the one who
left their ugly purple wig

right at the crime scene.

You said that wig looked great on me.

I lied, okay?

I lied.

It's literally what I do.

I'm an international villain.