All language subtitles for the.simpsons.s31e07.720p.web.x264-xlf[eztv]

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

Thanks for hosting.

How was the sleepover?

They each had a 5-Hour Energy
drink and a jar of Nutella

and then watched Russian
dashcam videos all night.

Vodit' znachit ubivat'!

Listen, Marge.

Every year, Kirk and I rent
a luxury villa in Costa Rica

and invite a few select families
to join us.

Maybe you've heard about it?

I've always dreamed
of being invited on this trip,

and now it's about to happen.

Play it cool, Marge, like only you can.

Let me see.

Um...

Costa Rica...

Nope, nope.

Sorry, it's news to me.

We were wondering, would your family

be interested in joining us?

When would you need an answer by?

Oh, the sooner the better.

Costa Rica!

Costa Rica!

Time to rock and...

Costa Rica!

Whee...!

Costa Rica! Costa Rica!

Costa Rica...!

Costa Rica.

Family meeting!

Right now!

Mwah!

The Van Houtens invited us

on their super-exclusive
multi-family vacation

to Costa Rica!

We'll stay in a luxury villa
right on the beach...

Whoo-hoo!

...near pristine rain forests,

home to five percent
of the species on Earth...

Biodiversity!

...in a land where it's normal
for kids to carry machetes.

Legalize it!

And you can chew on the guidebook.

I've always dreamed
of being the kind of family

that other families would be
willing to do things with.

Costa Rica!

- Costa Rica!
- Airport food court!

- Airport food court!
- Costa Rica!

Whoa.

Now, that's a tympanic membrane
that just won't quit.

Whoa. This trip's gonna cost how much?

I know it's expensive,

but we spend our whole lives
worrying about money.

That's because we don't have that much.

We have a mortgage, a reverse mortgage.

I think the house is owned by the car.

Life is about experiences.

Look at this photo the Hibberts
posted from last year's trip.

Now look at my feed.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

I want a photo of you and me
by that waterfall.

The hope of going on this trip
is the only reason

I've allowed Bart
to stay friends with Milhouse.

Now I understand everything.

Homie, I know it's a stretch,

but if Kirk and Luann can afford it...

Yeah. He can't earn that much.

His job is moving the Topless Maids van

so they don't get parking tickets.

Let's have one damn fling and
hope everything will be okay.

You know what? You are right.

I am sick of being the responsible one

in this marriage.

Let's live life.

Remember, we can never be poor

as long as we have each other.

Oh... yes, we can.

You know, what if we stayed home

and just did puzzles of Costa Rica?

I mean, this trip sounds
really expensive.

- No, not really.
- What? No!

You just let the grown-ups worry
about grown-up things, okay?

Your mom and dad

have our financial future
all under control.

Ooh! Free ticket!

The rich get richer!

Ah, the multi-family vacation.

Let's see who we've got.

The Van Houtens, of course.
The Hibberts.

Superintendent Chalmers
and his daughter.

I can't believe
my father is tearing us apart

for a whole week.

Sweetie, it's a very long flight.

Why don't you save your phone battery.

All you care about is batteries!

You've never been in love.

Your mother and I had a very...

Never mind.

Yep, not one person here

I'd mind spending
an extended period of time with.

I didn't have time to wax,
so I'll do it on the plane.

What the hell is that doing here?

Well, Lou the cop and his sister
were gonna go,

but a billboard fell on him

and her wind chime store burned down.

So I suggested Patty
and her new girlfriend.

You deliberately hid this from me

until it was too late to back out.

- Yes.
- Don't try to deny it.

Patty's new relationship
really has to work out,

because the dating apps
won't take her anymore.

All I ask is that you're nice to them.

Evelyn, this is my husband Homer.

A very polite hello to you, madam.

Well, well, Homer Simpson.

I've heard so much about you.

Surely you have, but in my defense,

urinating on a privately owned
merry-go-round

is not public urination.

Hmm.

Ooh.

Okay, who wants Miguelitos?

Now, I should warn the newbies...

These will seem very authentic to you.

Mmm. This stuff is pura vida in a glass.

What's pura vida?

Oh...

Uh, it means "pure life."

Kind of a state of mind down here.

Very chill.

Like what you think of as chill

but, like, a million times chiller.

Homie, I think I'm having an experience.

Every time a fruit meets a
booze, a magic vacation is born.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Mmm.

Oh...

Well, you can try.

Oh, boy, I didn't know that.

- Hmm?
- Hmm?

So true.

- Hmm...
- Hmm.

Rodrigo, Rodrigo, mi hermano,

put the bill on this.

Nothing is less pura vida
than check-splitting.

On this trip
I pay for everything up front...

Food, the villa rental,

cloud forest murder mystery...

And I keep track of 'em right here.

Then we settle up at the end.

Smokey Blandings is putting on

a cornhole clinic tonight.

And this is
where fatigue really sets in, Jim.

When you're tossing that fourth beanbag,

your muscles are screaming, son.

- Booyah!
- Good heavenly days!

Hmm?

You also follow the pro cornhole tour?

Sure do. I used to play
on my daddy's farm.

We'd toss bags all day,

even when it was hotter
than a two-dollar pistol.

Ooh, ooh.

That is hot.

Do you always speak
in such colorful Southern-isms?

Does a mama possum
skip church on Sundays?

Hmm.

I bet she does.

Homer, put your phone away.

Evelyn, please.

Evelyn, you don't want
to go shopping with us?

It's a vacation, sugar bear.

We should be lying on the beach
like a lost flip-flop.

But, darling, there's nothing
to do at the beach except drink.

You know what? Why don't
you two take in the sights

while I chaperone your
Southern señorita to the beach?

Well, my, my, what an elegant solution.

Well, I guess this way everyone's happy.

Tonight's dinner is amazing, folks:

line-caught mahi mahi.

The local fishermen pass the
lines down from father to son,

so, boy, you can taste the heritage.

Dios mío!

Eh, what?

Oh. Hey, guys.

We met these awesome monkeys
on the beach,

and we said they could crash here

in exchange for them being hilarious.

Sweetie, you did not tell me

your brother-in-law was such a fun guy.

You two should be so happy.

Your husband and your girlfriend

are amigos!

Who's that with you, Jimbo?

Is that Stacy?

Oh, my God.

Jimbo is cheating on me!

Wha...?

Okay, makeup kit, selfie stick.

Oh, God, where's
the selfie stick charger?

Honey, relax.

The waterfall picture's
going to be fine.

Fine? If this photo is just "fine,"

we're getting a divorce.

Okay, okay, that crossed the line,

but this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip

and our only shot at a perfect moment.

I get it... you're mad
about my awesome monkey party.

But you wanted me to be nice
to Patty's girlfriend,

and guess what. She's cool.

Just what you need,
another drinking buddy.

Just promise me you'll behave
for the rest of the trip.

Okay, okay. I will stay far away

from Patty's fun Southern girlfriend.

Or as she would say,

"further away than a fat-cheeked boy

from a porch full of grannies."

Run, fat boy, run!

Why are you freaking out?

Shouldn't you be in the jungle

kissing a boa constrictor or something?

This trip is so expensive,
and Mom and Dad don't care,

so I'm practicing sleeping in a car

for when we lose the house
and have to sleep in our car!

Well, Milhouse's dad writes down
how much money everyone owes

in that book,
so all we have to do is snag it,

then show Mom and Dad the numbers.

Yes! That'll snap 'em
out of their financial insanity.

You up for a little
breaking and entering?

Break into a grown-up's bedroom?

Whoa, big move.

Okay, we'll do it
when everyone's on the hike.

But how do we get rid of Milhouse?

Not a problem.
Milhouse already ditched me

for Dr. Hibbert's kid.

His "vacation friend."

Hey, JJ, do you still like Legos?

- Uh... not really.
- Me neither.

Lego sucks!

Hey, JJ, why don't we put on a
play for the grown-ups tonight?

Ooh, sweetie, look,
a "Flowers of Costa Rica"

scavenger hunt. I wonder
how many we can find together?

Just braid, Daddy!

I need to look super hot
to win back Jimbo's heart.

Darling, you're experiencing

so many emotions for the first time.

And that's very healthy, but...

He strayed because of you!

Hey, JJ, one time my friend got
a temporary tattoo

but told his dad it was real.

Okay, let's steal that ledger.

What's that thing?

Grappling hook made
of Patty's underwire bra

and Dad's bathing suit drawstring.

Will it reach?

This is so weird, being in
another grown-up's bedroom.

Boy, you're telling me.
He doesn't even work out.

Uh, I don't want to learn
anything else about this family.

It's too late.

All right, bottled water break.

I can drink from the stream.

After all these years,
my gut biome is simpatico

with the local bacteria.

Ugh! Oh, God, there's something
moving inside me!

Oh, look out! Oh, look out!

Look out, I said look out! Look out!

Oh, God, no simpatico! No simpatico!

Hey, Homer. You want a hit off this?

Oh, Evelyn. You and I both love
secret day drinking,

but I promised Marge I'd have a bad time

the rest of this vacation.

I hear exactly what you're saying.

Mm-hmm? Mmm.

Did you find the ledger?

No, but take a look at this.

These are stone spheres

made by the extinct
Diquis people of Costa Rica.

No one knows what they were for,

but they're priceless artifacts.

So what is Milhouse's
loser dad doing with them?

Oh, I'm sorry, Kirk's tum-tum.

Daddy drank some ick-ick.

Oh, the rumblies are coming.

The rumblies are coming!

They're here!

If we get this photo right,

this multi-family vacation
will be worth every penny.

You're so cute
when you're super controlling.

You've been drinking.

Well, maybe Evelyn added

a little Southern charm to my water.

That woman!
She brings out the worst in you!

Look!

Oh, my God.

It's perfect.

You look good, and I look better.

Post it. Post it.

Homer!

Buddy, hi. Watch me do
a Savannah Polecat Flip.

No!

Come back, camera fish!

Oh!

All I wanted was for my friends
to be jealous of me.

I hope you're happy

now that that bald gorilla
has dragged my girlfriend down

to his pathetic level.

Patricia Maleficent Bouvier,

I've put up with you criticizing
my husband for years,

and I've had it.

Evelyn got Homer drunk.

Evelyn ruined my dream photo.

She's the bad influence.

That's ridiculous.

She may be Southern, she may be a woman,

but you're dating a Homer.

Oh, no.

Mom, look what I found
in the Van Houtens' room!

They are smuggling
these artifacts home to sell!

That's how they can afford
this vacation.

But we can't.

And we're gonna have to live in our car,

and the seats in our car are sticky,

even though they're cloth!

You're... you're so gross.

It's so gross.

Salt... and pepper.

These souvenirs were supposed to be

our end-of-multi-family-vacation
gift to you all.

Way to spoil the surprise.

Not very pura vida.

Not very pura vida at all.

Stacy and I are finished.

Shauna Chalmers, will you marry me?

Oh, my God!

Jimbo proposed!

We are getting freaking married!

Oh, you guys are slinking off early.

Don't you want to come ziplining
and ruin the trip some more?

Well, I would...

like to agree with my wife
that it's better we leave.

I'll give you the final bill now
so we can settle up.

No discount for leaving early either.

I may be mucho pura vida,
but, uh, I'm not a sucker.

Lisa was right.

We really couldn't afford this trip.

Ooh, that's a big number.

How's Patty? I haven't seen her.

I don't know what happened.

She... broke up with me.

Yeesh.

I know you feel bad, Mom,

but the lady is a Homer.

Mmm.

Oh, all that money,

and we didn't even get the picture.

Look at this.

Mr. Van Houten even charged us

for those salt and pepper shakers.

He said those were a gift.

And he didn't even give them to us.

Then we're not leaving without them.

Oh, so that explains it.

Gotcha.

Can't you let us even zipline in peace?

Look what we found hidden
in your bedroom.

This is a portrait of explorer
Kirkedemious Van Houten,

who settled this area for
a Dutch cracker-trading company,

and he built this house,
which your family still owns.

You're charging us thousands
of dollars in rent

for a house you get for free.

The Van Houtens are cheating all of us,

so we pay for their vacation.

- I'm stunned.
- I'm shocked.

I'm Shauna.

I'm just as surprised as any of you.

Oh, what?! Come on!

This scam was her idea.

And this year she even charged you more

so we could pay
for our "intimacy coach."

I mean, how many things
can you do with a feather?

Ooh.

Oh, easy, guys, easy.

Everyone try to remain pura vida. Huh?

I'm gonna pura vida my foot in your ass

if you don't give me back my money.

He's zipping away!

Stop him
before he endorses those checks!

So, you and Evelyn broke up?

I thought you really liked her.

I did, but now all I see
is Homer, thanks to you.

Patty! Come back!

I can't! Because I'm on a zipline...

Ooh.

Patty, I'm sorry I upset you,
but Evelyn is your Homer,

and no one else will ever
understand why you love her,

except for you.

But there's one huge difference
between them.

I'm listening.

Evelyn loves you,

and Homer hates you
more than anything in the world.

Even more than he hates Selma?

He feels sorry for Selma,

because she has to live with you.

Hold on, Evelyn!

I'm coming!

Go ahead, take your money.

Take away a man's only source of income.

No, it's real classy.

We just got a free vacation.

LISA, MARGE AND BART: Hooray!

Now let's charter a helicopter
back to the waterfall

to get your mom's precious picture.

No, no, no. It's okay.

Vacations aren't
about the perfect photo.

It's about being in the moment
and living your... vida.

Mwah!

They're as cute as two bugs in a rug.

Aw.

Honey, I just want you to know

that Jimbo Jones is a fine young man,

and I'm very happy
for you two to be married.

- Truly.
- Yeah...

Jimbo's parents freaked out
and canceled the wedding.

Whatever.

I'm glad somebody's setting limits.

You know, pumpkin, I'm doing my best.

Do you understand that?

That as a single father,
it's not always so easy

to balance guidance
with respect for your...

Yeah...

Yeah, now we're connecting, huh?

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

Why can't we just leave?

'Cause we have to clean up
before Uncle Pete gets here,

or we'll lose our week next year.

Hey, hey, this stuff is expensive!

¿Comprende?

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

No, amigos, no, no.

No, pura vida!

Pura vida!

Oh, no! No bueno!

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org