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1
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,973
I haven't seen him on the TV. Have you?
- What's that, love?
2
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,176
I said I've not seen him on the television.
- Who?
3
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,385
Archie Rice.
4
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,768
Oh, come on, it's only a lot of daft girls
standing about with nothing on.
5
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,271
Come on, Father.
- He looks daft.
6
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:35,069
Will you come on when I tell you?
I'm not gonna speak to you again.
7
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,896
He's never been on TV.
8
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,377
Granddad!
9
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:01,088
Granddad! Granddad!
10
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:06,217
Hello, Granddad.
- Jean! I wondered who it was.
11
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,475
I'm sorry if I startled you.
- I didn't know who the hell it was.
12
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,056
I was miles away.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
13
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,814
It's good to see you, my darling.
Give your grandfather a kiss.
14
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,862
Here, girl, give me your case.
- No, it's alright, I can manage.
15
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,815
Give me the case and hold your bloody noise.
16
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,777
Your stepmother's
in one of her moods so I came out.
17
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:28,661
I can't stand rows with Phoebe, not anymore,
so I come and sit on the pier.
18
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:32,452
Albert. Take care of this case for me,
will you?
19
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,706
This is my granddaughter.
- Oh, yes, he told me all about you.
20
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,290
Have you come to see your dad?
21
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,629
Thank you. Come on.
- See ya.
22
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,388
Who's that, Albert? Oh.
- Archie Rice's daughter.
23
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,891
It's good to see you, Jean.
How long are you going to stay?
24
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,763
Just a few days, I expect.
25
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:57,402
Have you heard from young Mick?
- Yes, he's fine.
26
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,822
He's a good boy, he'll be all right.
But it's a nasty business to get mixed up in.
27
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,821
All those people out there in Egypt
and God knows where else.
28
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,158
They seem to be able to do
what they like to us nowadays.
29
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,953
I went to the rally
in Trafalgar Square last Sunday.
30
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,497
What for, for God's sake?
- Oh, I don't know.
31
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:17,213
Seem to've got myself steamed up
about a lot of things lately.
32
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,923
Well, I should think you'd want to have your
bloody head read.
33
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,302
Yes, that's more or less what Graham said.
- Graham?
34
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,046
My fiancé.
35
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,477
Can we go now, miss?
- Yes, all right.
36
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:39,068
Paints and brushes on this table
and paintings over here.
37
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,735
"Five minutes."
38
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,708
Finished?
- Yes, miss.
39
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,633
Don't you want to go and dance?
40
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,429
You don't have to go if you don't want to.
41
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,414
Good night.
42
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,130
Here, watch out where you're going! Wait...!
43
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,014
Am I late?
44
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,427
No, his train doesn't leave for an hour.
45
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,146
You were making a lot of noise.
46
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,397
Well, my little social worker,
what was it tonight?
47
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,274
The bicycle-chain ball
or the flick-knife excuse-me?
48
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,609
Oh...
49
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,274
Cheer up.
50
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,570
Can't see the soldier brother off
to the wars with a long face like that.
51
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,155
No, I should look pleased about it,
shouldn't I?
52
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:32,428
Jean, I don't know how you think you could
ever make anything out of those monsters?
53
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,382
You're crazy.
54
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,513
Oh, darling, don't let's do this again.
55
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,687
I'm sorry. It's time you faced up to the fact
56
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,389
you are never going to do anything
with those sort of people.
57
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,896
Don't talk to me about those sort of people.
58
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,982
Anyway, if it weren't for your sort of people
59
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,439
still hanging on to their livings
in other people's countries
60
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,649
my brother wouldn't be going off to fight.
61
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,661
The telegram came at breakfast.
62
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,411
Why didn't they wait till February?
You'd have been out by then.
63
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,125
Oh, I don't know. I'm thinking of signing on.
64
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,497
Signing on?
- Yeah.
65
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,505
Well... up the flag, Mick.
66
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:08,001
Here's to you, Mick.
And let's hope it's a false alarm.
67
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,005
Thank you.
68
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:14,261
You're leaving tonight?
- No, they're flying us out in the morning.
69
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,013
Well, it's nice of you both to come
and see me off.
70
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,937
Off to defend the Empire, you lucky people.
- My queen and country need me.
71
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,901
I wish I could think it was funny.
72
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,812
Ah...
- Oh, Jean...
73
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,772
Give him a break. He'll be all right.
74
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,366
Jean's always taken everything seriously,
haven't you love?
75
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,240
I've always taken it as it comes,
but not Jeannie.
76
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,620
Cheer up, love.
Life isn't as bad as all that.
77
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,793
And even if it is,
there's nothing we can do about it.
78
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,456
Oh, I must be off.
79
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,250
Come on.
80
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,045
Well, that needs cleaning for a start.
- Nah.
81
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,464
I'll do it.
- Oh, good lad. Come on.
82
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,943
Don't come any further. There's my mob there.
- OK.
83
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,146
Goodbye, love.
- Bye, Mick
84
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,778
Stick in the back row if there's shooting.
- You bet.
85
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,992
Go up and see Phoebe
and the old boy sometime, will ya?
86
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,194
Yes, I'm going to.
- Well, do.
87
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,903
Goodbye, Graham.
- Bye-bye, Mick. Good luck.
88
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,159
Are you two getting married?
89
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,413
Well, ask her.
- Well, make her! It's what Jean needs.
90
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,377
I'll bring you back a fuzzy-wuzzy
for your wedding present.
91
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,206
You can hang it on the nursery wall
and frighten the kids with it. Bye.
92
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,835
Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
93
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,298
Let's go.
94
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,049
Do you want to eat somewhere?
- No, thanks.
95
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,718
It might cheer you up. Something to eat, a
bottle of wine...
96
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,348
I want to go home.
97
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:43,687
All right.
98
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,315
Do you want to come?
99
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,484
What about the landlady?
100
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,111
We'll beat her up.
101
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,085
I've been longing to tell you
about it all day.
102
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,296
They want a decision pretty soon.
103
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,713
Why Africa?
- Well, the firm's expanding out there.
104
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,470
You know - young men, big opportunities,
all that kind of things.
105
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,094
Do you want to go?
- Yes.
106
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,517
Yes, I do. I've thought about it a lot.
107
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,690
We could get married next month.
108
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:33,946
Supposing I don't want to go, Graham?
Would you go just the same?
109
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,942
I don't think that's a fair question.
- No, but I'm asking it.
110
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,365
Well, if we were married,
I think it would change your mind.
111
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,037
But what if I didn't?
112
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,991
Why do you want to go?
- I've told you.
113
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,749
Oh, yes. Big opportunities. Big deal.
114
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,329
Jean, you love me, don't you?
- Yes.
115
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,039
And you still want to marry me?
- Of course.
116
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,419
Well, then why do we argue?
117
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,252
I don't understand you.
118
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,423
There's nothing to keep you here.
Nothing.
119
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,308
Nothing but a bunch of teddy boys
who ought to be put in jail
120
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,805
where they'll rot.
- Oh, Graham!
121
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,973
Don't pretend to me that you can't leave
that deadbeat family of yours.
122
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:12,731
Oh, Graham, can't you try and understand?
This job means something to me.
123
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,273
I've never been good enough to paint myself
124
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,654
but I think this is something
I really can do.
125
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,738
Oh, maybe the first term has been hell,
but I'm not going to give up that easily
126
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,956
There's nothing to keep us here.
127
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,372
You've never stopped telling that everything
about this country's dead.
128
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,082
Well, I agree. It's dead.
129
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,082
This would be a wonderful chance
for us to get out of it.
130
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,185
I'm sorry.
131
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,233
I'm so tired.
132
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,436
I know. I'm sorry.
133
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,231
Don't be.
134
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,988
Take me to bed.
135
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:18,884
I'm all right, Granddad.
I feel better now I've talked about it.
136
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,429
You always liked coming to see me,
didn't you?
137
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,006
You were a pretty little thing.
138
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,342
Not that looks are everything,
nor even for a woman.
139
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,769
You don't look at the mantelpiece
when you poke the fire.
140
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,645
I'll say this for Archie, he always saw
that you were nicely turned out.
141
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,151
He was a smart little boy himself.
142
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,105
Used to dress 'em in sailor suits then.
143
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,158
Funny how they all turn out.
144
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,445
How is Dad?
145
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,071
He's a fool.
- Oh.
146
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:50,203
Trying to raise money for another show
when he hasn't enough for this one running.
147
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,917
Well, what's this one like?
148
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,662
I don't know. I haven't seen it. I wouldn't.
149
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,672
They don't want human beings anymore.
150
00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,752
Well, you're a lovely lot tonight.
Really lovely lot tonight.
151
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,963
I've played in front of them all, you know.
Yes, I've played in front of them all!
152
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,801
The Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh,
the Prince of Wales, and err...
153
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,599
What's the name of that other pub?
154
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,471
Blimey, that went better at first house.
155
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,103
Hey, what about these crooners, eh?
What about these crooners?
156
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,025
I don't know what they're coming to,
honest, I don't.
157
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:20,070
Look at the stuff they sing.
Look at the songs they sing.
158
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,274
"The Darktown Strutters' Ball".
"The Basin Street Ball".
159
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,826
"The Woodchoppers' Ball".
160
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,871
It's a lot of... rubbish, isn't it?
161
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,619
He's a bit suggestive, isn't he?
162
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,246
Well, now I'm going to sing you
a little song. A little song!
163
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,795
A little song written by Rimsky-Nastikov.
164
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,088
A little song entitled
165
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,087
"The Old Church Bell Won't Ring
Tonight as the Vicar's got the Clapper."
166
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:50,389
# Hide your face, Mum
The girls have got me
167
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:54,230
# I shan't be home for an hour or two
I've got all sorts of nice things to do
168
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,850
# They've got me worked up
In such a state
169
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:01,775
# So hide your face, Mum
Cos I can't hardly wait
170
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:05,107
# So hide your face, Mum
The girls have got me
171
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:09,867
# The girls, the glamorous gorgeous girls
Have got me #
172
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,288
All right, Nicky?
173
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,454
Hey.
- Take her up.
174
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,502
Jean!
- Hello, Frank.
175
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:18,999
Nice to see you, love.
176
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,630
Got a holiday?
177
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,300
Sort of. I've just seen Granddad.
He's gone home.
178
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,212
Hey, Dad's on.
As you may possibly have guessed.
179
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,130
He'll be off in a minute, though.
- OK.
180
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,890
# But it's when she'd gone and left me
181
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,514
# That I started to say good night #
182
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,018
Can't be anyone out front tonight
but just the-
183
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,474
Look who's here.
- Ah?
184
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,104
Oh, hello, Jean!
- Hello.
185
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,154
This is nice. I didn't see you standing
there. I haven't got my glasses on.
186
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,231
I know. You thought I was the income tax man.
187
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,532
That's right!
- Hey Dad. Dad.
188
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,992
All right, are you?
- Fine.
189
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:40,036
# Hide your face, Mum
The girls have got him
190
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:43,585
# He won't be home for an hour or two
He's got all sorts of nice things to do
191
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:46,796
# They've got him
Worked up in such a state
192
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,090
# Hide your face, Mum
193
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:54,263
# The girls, the glamorous gorgeous girls,
Have got him now #
194
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:10,740
How's it going?
195
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,490
Oh, first house
about 60 sad little drabs in it.
196
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,822
Tonight about 200 sad little drabs.
- Excuse me.
197
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,825
Frank! I'd like to see you.
198
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:24,455
If we go on next week,
it will be by very reluctant agreement
199
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,211
of about 20 rather angry people.
200
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,459
Have you been home, love?
- Oh no, not yet.
201
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:31,717
I suppose I ought to have warned Phoebe.
- Not to worry.
202
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,342
You can have Mick's room, all right?
203
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,136
How is Mick? Have you heard from him?
204
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,969
Yes, yes, had a couple of letters.
He's just sitting in the middle of the desert
205
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,601
twiddling his thumbs. It's hot, he says.
Not one for subtle detail, old Mick.
206
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,934
Hey, the kids say if they don't get
their back salary, they're going to quit.
207
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,690
Well, let 'em. Hey, Frank, pop round the
corner and get a couple of bottles.
208
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,817
One gin, one Dubonnet.
I'm going to have a celebration.
209
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,941
What you have to celebrate?
- My 20th anniversary.
210
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,491
What of?
- Not paying income tax.
211
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,615
You go with him, love.
She he doesn't forget the change.
212
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,789
I'll meet you at Buckingham Palace.
I've got a couple of people to see.
213
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:03,127
Good night, Frank.
214
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,109
You seen Renee?
215
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,364
Well, you better get some lolly for her
tonight or you've had it. Here is your week.
216
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,318
How much?
217
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,786
It's not so hot.
218
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,580
Want one?
- I don't think I'd better, had I?
219
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,037
Oops
220
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:48,880
Well?
221
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,300
Yeah, uh, I'll just be five minutes, see.
I've got to listen to the news.
222
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,173
That's a good one.
- No, no, I'm not kidding, honestly.
223
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,175
I'm not leaving this theatre
tonight without it.
224
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,006
I'll just hear it and I'll be out.
Five minutes.
225
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,854
There'll be another programme
in this series at the same time next week.
226
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,103
The eleven-o'clock news summary
follows almost at once.
227
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:19,824
This is the BBC Home Service. Here is
the summary of the news. First of all, Suez.
228
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,663
A number of British paratroopers
229
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:25,163
are reported to have been overrun and
captured in a forward position.
230
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,880
Names will be withheld at the War Office
until the next of kin have been informed.
231
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,425
The House of Commons is debating
the situation in the Middle East tomorrow
232
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,173
at the request of the opposition.
233
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:39,385
Latest reports from the area were considered
at a cabinet meeting this afternoon.
234
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:45,229
Oh, this is nice! What a shame - if only
I'd known I could have been back earlier
235
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,848
but I stayed and saw
a bit of the big picture 'round again.
236
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,184
What was it like?
- Wasn't up to much.
237
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:53,112
They're showing a lot of rubbish
out at the picture house these days.
238
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,610
I hear they're going to close
that place down, by the way.
239
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,816
Everything's doing badly.
240
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,992
That's what worries Archie.
- Good night, Mum.
241
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,819
Good night, dear.
- See you in the morning, Jeano.
242
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,576
Where are you off to?
- He's got an extra job.
243
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,997
He's playing the piano
in one of these late-night drinking places
244
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,123
and the Winter Gardens organ on Sundays.
245
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,713
It is lovely to see her, isn't it, Dad?
- It is.
246
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:15,130
He's pleased. He doesn't have
anyone much to talk to, do you?
247
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,676
Oh, Phoebe.
- Well, it's not my fault.
248
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,503
He won't come to the pictures with me.
249
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,511
He likes to listen to a play
on the wireless sometimes.
250
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,801
SHE SHOUTS You like a nice play!
- Yes!
251
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,760
I can't sit for long.
I'd rather have a spot of pictures.
252
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,563
I'm all right.
- I'm at Woolworth's now. Did I tell you?
253
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:33,186
I'm on the electrical counter. Not bad.
Girls are a bit common, that's all.
254
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:37,273
Oh, it's nice to see you!
- Archie says you had a letter from Mick.
255
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:41,493
Yes, he's out there. Jean, you think
he's going to be all right, don't you?
256
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,409
I don't know why they send these boys out
to do the fighting.
257
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:47,582
They're just kids, that's all.
That's all he is, a kid.
258
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:53,248
I mean, they do look after them, don't they?
- Oh yes, they look after them all right.
259
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:58,256
They look after them better now than they did
when I was in it. The Dardanelles.
260
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:02,552
I went through that without a scratch.
Not a scratch on me.
261
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,140
Aye aye.
- Hello.
262
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,809
I've just been talking
to our coloured friend on the stairs.
263
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,725
He's a student.
- No, he's not. He's a ballet dancer.
264
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,432
Is he? He's a big fellow.
265
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,313
He's playing the Winter Gardens
for a fortnight.
266
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,234
Ballet dancer?
267
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,859
Yeah, he tells me
if you drop your hat outside there now
268
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,907
you have to kick it all the way down
to the promenade before you dare pick it up.
269
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,077
There's a telegram come for you.
- Don't you think she's looking a bit peaky?
270
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,699
Looks all right to me.
Needs a drink, that's all.
271
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,326
There's a telegram come for you!
272
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,874
Yeah, well, it's probably just from one of my
creditors, you see?
273
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,668
Good girl, Jean!
You remembered Phoebe's Dubonnet.
274
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,041
She likes that. Don't you, dear?
275
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:37,590
She thinks she's being awfully you
when she drinks that, don't you?
276
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,426
Well, I like it. It seems to soothe me.
277
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,513
But what's all this for?
Was it all right at the theatre?
278
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,841
No, it was not all right at the theatre.
- Oh...
279
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:49,178
Now, have your Dubonnet, dear.
Don't get all emotional. Jean, that's yours.
280
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,012
Billy, wake up!
- I am awake.
281
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,349
Well, stop yelling, then.
You sound like a television commercial.
282
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,273
Here's a drink for you.
283
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,601
I don't want a bloody drink.
284
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,859
Yes, you do. Now, don't argue and drink up.
I'm having a little celebration.
285
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,940
Celebration?
What have you got to celebrate about?
286
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:01,864
Oh, dear.
287
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,908
You haven't got a thing you can call your own
288
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,906
and as sure as God made little apples.
289
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,487
I'll lay a sovereign to a penny piece
290
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,948
you'll end up in the bankruptcy court
before Christmas.
291
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,584
And you'll be lucky
if you don't end up in jail as well
292
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,707
Oh, get him to go to bed, Archie. He's
overtired.
293
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:15,958
Go to bed. You're overtired.
294
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,252
I'm not overtired.
295
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,050
I don't relish
the idea of a jailbird in the family.
296
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,636
Oh, shut up, Dad!
You've had too much to drink!
297
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,841
I used to have half a bottle
of three-star brandy for breakfast.
298
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,017
Yes, and a pound of steak
and a couple of chorus girls.
299
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:31,060
He'll tell you the whole story
at the drop of a hat.
300
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:35,266
I leave chorus girls to you. Do you know
what James Agate said about me?
301
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,943
Oh, yes, that you and Mrs Pat Campbell
were his two favourite female impersonators.
302
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,736
You know bloody well what he said.
303
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,280
Dad, Dad, Dad.
304
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,158
We all know what he said
and every word of it was true.
305
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,501
Your daughter went to that Trafalgar Square
circus last Sunday, if you please.
306
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,668
No, did you really? Are you one of those
who don't like the Prime Minister?
307
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:02,297
I think I've grown rather fond of him.
Does he bring you out in spots? Because...
308
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:03,627
I wish I knew what was going to happen.
309
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,134
You know, I feel like that
about that horrible dog downstairs.
310
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,260
He brings me out in a rash
every time I look at him.
311
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,512
What is going to happen?
- There are three things do that to me.
312
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:15,314
Three things! Nuns, clergymen and dogs.
- Well, I don't want to always have to work.
313
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,433
I mean, you want a bit of life
before it's all over.
314
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,521
Takes the gilt off if you know
you've got to go on and on
315
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,321
until they carry you out in a box.
316
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:26,445
Did I tell you my nun story?
- Oh, it's all right for him! He's all right!
317
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:29,786
He still has his women.
While it lasts, anyway.
318
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:34,500
But I don't want to end up
being lain out by some stranger
319
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:37,453
in some rotten, stinking little street
in Gateshead
320
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,539
or West Hartlepool
or another of those dead-or-alive holes.
321
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:45,044
Phoebe, don't upset yourself.
Let's enjoy ourselves.
322
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,341
Do you think I don't want to enjoy myself?
323
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,604
I wish women wouldn't cry.
I wish they wouldn't.
324
00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:00,142
Try and say something to her, Jean.
- Why don't you?
325
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:03,229
I wish I could. I only wish I could.
326
00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:06,189
Phoebe...
327
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,492
Phoebe, dear, would you like to go to bed?
328
00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:15,536
Yes, I think I will if you don't mind, dear.
329
00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:18,206
I think perhaps I've overdone it a bit.
330
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,750
I never could stand too much excitement.
331
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:24,875
And I think I'm worrying
about young Mick underneath.
332
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,753
I keep thinking about all that fighting.
333
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,722
Well, try and get some sleep love.
You'll feel better when you wake up.
334
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,932
Yes, yes, dear.
335
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,640
Would you come
and say good night to me, Archie?
336
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,222
Yes, I'm just finishing
my little celebration, remember?
337
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:42,726
He's funny.
- Good night, son.
338
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:43,685
Good night.
339
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:44,895
Good night, love.
- Good night, Jean.
340
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:47,402
Good night, Granddad.
- It was good seeing you.
341
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:49,653
We'll have a good talk tomorrow.
- Yes, we will.
342
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:58,783
Dad?
343
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,077
Yeah?
344
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,205
You're keeping something to yourself.
345
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,547
You never miss a trick, do you?
- What is it?
346
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,722
Mick's been taken prisoner.
347
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,050
No point in breaking it tonight.
348
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:23,187
I think I'd like some of that.
- Yeah.
349
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,527
Well, we'll drink to Mick.
350
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:29,397
Let's hope to God he manages, eh?
351
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:39,291
Mick. And... the income tax man.
352
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:47,628
With you, it's Prime Ministers.
With me, it's dogs.
353
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:51,424
Nuns, clergymen and dogs.
354
00:23:54,683 --> 00:24:00,304
Hey, did I ever tell you
the greatest compliment I ever had paid me?
355
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,942
I was walking along the promenade somewhere.
356
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:07,860
I think it must have been here, actually.
357
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,646
One day...
358
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,652
25 years ago.
359
00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,072
I was quite a young man.
360
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,871
There I was, walking along the promenade
361
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:23,289
to meet what I think we used to call
a piece of crackling...
362
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:31,927
When two nuns came toward me.
363
00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:38,178
Two nuns.
364
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:52,860
Talk to me.
365
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,837
Get down! Get down!
Get downstairs!
366
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,289
Come on, wait! Get down there!
367
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:47,084
Jean.
- There's nothing fresh.
368
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,621
It's just the same description
as we heard on the news.
369
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:50,580
Oh, dear...
370
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:54,042
To hear that wireless you'd think of some
of those rogues that get up in Parliament
371
00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,877
were glad our boys were taken prisoner.
372
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,588
Their own country always in the wrong
and the other lot's always right.
373
00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:01,675
Oh, shut up, Dad, we're worried enough
as it is without politics.
374
00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:04,182
It says here,
"Lieutenant Pearson of Leicester
375
00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:08,015
"who had been with Sergeant Rice
until a few minutes before he was captured
376
00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:12,064
"said he must have killed at least seven
of the attackers before he was overwhelmed."
377
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:16,447
"'He must have run out of ammunition,' said
Pearson. 'Young Rice wasn't the type..."'
378
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:19,613
Oh, don't go on, Jean.
You know I just can't bear to think about it.
379
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,950
Oh, I fried these up for your breakfast.
380
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,331
They don't look very nice, do they?
I'm sorry.
381
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,754
Never mind, Phoebe.
I'm not really hungry, thanks.
382
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,628
Where's Frank?
- Oh, he went to the theatre for something.
383
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:36,334
Said he wouldn't be in for breakfast.
384
00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:39,887
Where's Dad?
385
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:42,841
Oh, he went out early.
He had a telephone call from the Town Hall.
386
00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:45,138
Sit down?
- No, thanks, Granddad, I'll sit here.
387
00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:49,640
About the bathing beauty competition.
He'll be in his element.
388
00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:50,936
Bathing beauties?
389
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:54,610
It isn't as if they've got the figures
nowadays. They're all skin and bone.
390
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:58,945
What's he going to do after this?
Is he really trying to put on another show?
391
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:02,823
I don't know how, after that last business.
He's still an undischarged bankrupt.
392
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:04,696
But you knew that, dear, didn't you?
393
00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:08,955
I have to sign everything for him.
Cheques, the lot. He can't get any credit.
394
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:12,499
Still, Archie could always twist me
'round his little finger.
395
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:15,502
He won't listen to me.
He spends half his time in that Rockcliffe.
396
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:16,457
The what?
397
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:19,382
That damned meat market by the clock tower.
398
00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,633
How'd you happen to do that?
399
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,680
How do I come to pay income tax 20 years ago?
400
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:27,644
Pure bad luck, that's all. I was trapped
in a hospital with a double hernia.
401
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:30,555
Very nasty it was too. Terribly complicated.
402
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,562
I even thought all my plans for the future
were going to be finished at one point.
403
00:27:34,736 --> 00:27:37,524
That's another story I'll tell you sometime.
There I was!
404
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,613
There I was lying on my back
405
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:43,485
wondering whether Draught Bass, on its own,
was enough to make life worth living...
406
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:46,663
Arnold, five more half Bass, please.
407
00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:50,033
when two men in bowler hats and raincoats
sprang at me from behind the screens.
408
00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:52,460
That was Archie's one downfall.
Could have happened to anyone.
409
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:54,708
I think it must have been
the Ward Sister tipped them off.
410
00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:56,790
She used to tell me she was very spiritual.
411
00:27:56,884 --> 00:28:00,844
Hey, I'd gone legit just then, you see,
and I was in A Tale Of Two Cities.
412
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,922
When I told her, she said
"Oh, yes, I've heard of that."
413
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,223
She was an Irish lady.
414
00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:08,677
"The Tale Of Two Cities,
isn't that about Sodom and Gomorrah?"
415
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:13,397
Hey, Harold, can I have a word?
Hey? Oh, pay for these, thanks very much.
416
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,397
Harold, how about...
417
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,737
How about a booking
418
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,237
at the Winter Garden,
when the season's over?
419
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:24,863
What do you have in mind?
420
00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:28,363
Something lavish. A couple of top-liners.
421
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,371
See, I've got uh
422
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:32,075
I've got hold of those costumes
from Syd Stein's Blackpool show
423
00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:33,831
last year's, you know. Fabulous stuff.
424
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:35,378
Oh, why don't you leave it alone?
- No, I was
425
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:36,420
I was having a drink, you see.
426
00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:39,089
I was having a drink with Doreen Maine's
agent last Thursday.
427
00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:41,293
Doreen Maine. Well, you know, she, she...
428
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:44,504
One of her records hit the top ten.
Last February.
429
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,224
I'd like to do you a favour, Archie.
- I'm not asking any favours, Harold.
430
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:51,140
What management?
- Me.
431
00:28:52,314 --> 00:28:56,058
Are you really serious, Archie?
- Serious? Harold, you don't understand.
432
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,821
I need this booking. I really need it.
- Well, I'd have to see the show first.
433
00:29:01,823 --> 00:29:04,065
Harold, I've got to open somewhere.
434
00:29:04,868 --> 00:29:05,904
Now, Archie.
435
00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:09,203
We've had some laughs together all this time.
Let's leave it like that, eh?
436
00:29:09,289 --> 00:29:10,405
Harold, you don't understand.
437
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,333
With a booking like this
I could break the circuits.
438
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,580
Archie, you know me.
I only deal with established properties.
439
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:18,414
Harold... I'm asking you as a friend.
440
00:29:21,802 --> 00:29:23,009
Look, you know my office.
441
00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:24,506
If you think
you've got a concrete proposition
442
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,588
I'm always prepared to listen, not otherwise.
443
00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:33,812
Sorry about that, Harold.
Worrying about young Mick, I dare say.
444
00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:35,475
That's all right, Archie.
445
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:46,490
Well, I must rush now, boys.
The call of the Bathing Belle competition.
446
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:50,912
I'm judging the finals this afternoon.
- I thought Wally Barker was gonna do it.
447
00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:53,914
Wally Barker's dropped out,
so they sent for the expert.
448
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:57,543
Mind you, of course they don't understand
the business in this country, you know.
449
00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:58,460
Oh, they don't.
450
00:29:58,547 --> 00:30:01,836
On the Continent, they put the girls up
for auction when it's finished. They do.
451
00:30:01,925 --> 00:30:05,509
Hey, did I tell you about that chap who'd
take out a pen... No, no, sorry, too late.
452
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:09,092
So long, Frank.
- So long.
453
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:17,184
Can I help you, darling?
- I'm looking for Mr Rice.
454
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,059
I'm his daughter.
- Which one are you?
455
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:22,776
The one born yesterday?
456
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:29,363
As a matter of fact, Mr Hubbard,
she is my sister.
457
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:30,530
Oh.
458
00:30:31,747 --> 00:30:32,954
Sorry.
459
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,703
Jean! Jean.
460
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:39,536
Now listen, he didn't mean anything.
- I know what he meant.
461
00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:42,462
Who is he, anyway?
462
00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:44,586
He's the new manager
of the Winter Garden Theatre.
463
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,884
Oh, I see. Well, I wouldn't trust him behind
a drawn...
464
00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:48,131
curtain with his feet showing.
465
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:50,008
As my dear old Dad would say.
466
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:52,966
Why does he go on with it?
- Who, Dad?
467
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:56,803
In the blood, I suppose. Yours too, I'll bet.
468
00:30:57,814 --> 00:31:00,306
Oh, I just wish sometimes
he'd face up to reality.
469
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,517
Well, I don't think
he ever faces up to much else.
470
00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:06,021
He knows music hall's dying
better than you do.
471
00:31:06,573 --> 00:31:09,407
And what about you, Frank?
Are you going on with it?
472
00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:12,694
Talent got a bit thin
when it come down to me.
473
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:16,622
And the courage too.
- Courage?
474
00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:19,200
Yeah. Courage to go on.
475
00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:21,502
Like Archie. He's got it.
476
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:25,502
Hey, walk up to the Winter Garden with me,
will you?
477
00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:26,423
Well, what for?
478
00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:28,502
I'm standing in for the lady organist
for half an hour.
479
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,086
Come on.
480
00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:49,314
'Course, you know, Granddad had
the real talent. He had what it takes.
481
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:52,776
People still remember him, you know.
They stop him in the street.
482
00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:55,403
I suppose he's about all that's left
483
00:31:55,497 --> 00:31:57,784
of all that music-hall stuff
and all them other things.
484
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:01,367
Still, as Phoebe always says...
485
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:03,753
- Better to be a has-been...
- Than a never-was.
486
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:07,374
Hey, it must have been
better than this, anyway.
487
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,422
Something's missing, isn't it?
488
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,219
Mrs Sandy MacPherson calls.
489
00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:20,182
Hey, you'll be late
for the beauty competition. I'll see you.
490
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,082
Miss Vicky Thelwell of Leeds.
491
00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:51,009
She likes weightlifting and dislikes
men with beards. Has no hobbies.
492
00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:54,379
What about her, eh?
She needs some beef putting into her.
493
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,510
The roast beef of old England, if you ask me.
494
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,637
Well, no, nobody's asked me. Never mind.
495
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:00,263
Now, uh...
496
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,978
Miss Anne Thomlinson of Heysham.
497
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:08,273
Likes steak, dislikes getting up
in the morning, and has no hobbies.
498
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:11,942
Miss Shirley Lawrence from Ripon.
499
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:17,114
She likes midnight swimming and
dislikes wolves and her hobby is sailing.
500
00:33:21,875 --> 00:33:24,242
Now Miss Joyce Richards from Heysham.
501
00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:29,209
She likes weightlifting and dislikes
men drivers and she's got no hobbies.
502
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:33,422
HE WHISTLES She's a smasher.
- Give over, Father.
503
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:35,048
Don't look so worried, lady.
504
00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:38,381
Your old man may be a bit square,
but he still loves to go in for the curves.
505
00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:44,974
How 'bout that for a bit of Pi-r-squared?
506
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,481
Where did they dig him up?
507
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:50,730
Hello.
- Hello, dear.
508
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:51,810
Hello, Granddad.
- Hello.
509
00:33:51,905 --> 00:33:54,739
You've missed most of it.
They're just doing the final walk round.
510
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:56,235
Archie's been good.
511
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:58,075
Yes, I was watching from the back.
512
00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:00,824
No, he hasn't said a word about Mick all day.
513
00:34:01,081 --> 00:34:04,495
He's worried about him.
Oh, well, that's why I came out, really.
514
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:07,414
To take my mind off it a bit.
- She's pretty.
515
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:13,086
And now, Miss Tina Lapford from Burnley.
516
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:18,258
She likes meeting people. Dislikes sarcastic people.
- Amateur dramatics.
517
00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:25,348
Whoo! Now, uh...
518
00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,473
I wonder which one
Archie's picked out for himself?
519
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:30,103
Why don't you hold your bloody noise.
520
00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:31,559
Doesn't like me talking about it.
521
00:34:31,653 --> 00:34:33,986
As if she doesn't know
what's been going on all this time.
522
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:37,611
Well, there's no reason to talk about it.
- Oh, she's not soft. Are you, dear?
523
00:34:37,701 --> 00:34:38,782
I don't want hear about it
524
00:34:38,868 --> 00:34:41,360
and I shouldn't think Jean does.
- Shh, Dad, people are listening.
525
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:43,195
And now, ladies and gentlemen
526
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:46,499
before our distinguished judges
make their final selection
527
00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:50,920
these lovely girls are going to line up
for you so you can make your final selection.
528
00:34:51,131 --> 00:34:55,000
I've made mine. Of course this is
a very tense moment, ladies and gentlemen
529
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:57,210
you understand, very tense,
very tense indeed.
530
00:34:57,304 --> 00:35:00,547
The judges have
the most elaborate system of marking.
531
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:04,304
They're marked "good", "very good" and "wow".
532
00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:09,187
There you are, boys. Aren't they gorgeous?
Aren't they gorgeous?
533
00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:10,139
Come on, boys.
534
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:13,226
That'll take the tops off your boiled eggs
for you tomorrow morning.
535
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,945
And If I happen to mention the women
536
00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:20,275
it's because it's always been
the same thing with them.
537
00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:24,658
Still, I suppose it's different with men.
More important to them.
538
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:27,577
Will you hold your bloody noise?
- Why don't you?
539
00:35:28,084 --> 00:35:30,622
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for
540
00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:33,796
the judges' final announcement.
Thank you.
541
00:35:34,758 --> 00:35:39,344
For the third prize we have
Miss Joyce Richards of Heysham.
542
00:35:39,471 --> 00:35:42,464
Just 19 and very nice too.
543
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:43,931
Thank you.
544
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:51,056
To present the prizes, I have the great
honour and pleasure to introduce to you
545
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:56,983
that great star of TV, stage, screen and
labour exchange, Mr MacDonald Hobley.
546
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:09,744
Congratulations to you.
547
00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:18,257
And the second place, Miss Tina Lapford,
from Burnley. Age 20 and very nice too.
548
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:20,084
I'd vote for her.
549
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:25,264
Oh, no. Don't think much of her.
550
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:26,632
Good luck to you.
551
00:36:35,777 --> 00:36:37,518
All yours, Mac.
- Thank you very much.
552
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,773
Ladies and gentlemen,
the winner of the cheque for £1,000
553
00:36:42,242 --> 00:36:44,905
and the holder of the title
of Miss Great Britain
554
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:48,074
is Valerie Martin from Salisbury.
555
00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:05,255
Listen. You two wait here while I go
try and find Archie before the big rush.
556
00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:07,214
They'll be starting all the photographs soon.
557
00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:09,470
Well, that's that.
- Excuse me. And you behave yourself.
558
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:10,802
Yes, yes, yes.
559
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:12,261
A beauty competition?
560
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:16,065
Half the time I can't tell the women
from the men, not from the back.
561
00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:18,772
Even from the front
you have to take a good look sometimes.
562
00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:19,818
Granddad!
563
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:23,234
You look thirsty.
How about having a little drink with me?
564
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:25,907
Well, you see, I can't
because I've got my mum with me.
565
00:37:25,994 --> 00:37:28,452
That's all right, love.
Bring her along to have a drink too.
566
00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:29,369
Really?
567
00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:32,949
Yes, of course. Where is she? Is she here?
- Come over and meet her while I change.
568
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:35,284
I'd love to. Is she pretty? Of course she is.
- No, no!
569
00:37:35,378 --> 00:37:38,041
She must be.
- No, she's not a bit. Mum!
570
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:46,345
Mum, this is Mr Rice. He wanted to meet you.
This is my mum, Mrs Lapford.
571
00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:47,592
Hello, how are you?
572
00:37:53,229 --> 00:37:55,812
Well, go and get changed, love,
and then you won't get cold.
573
00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:57,435
See you in the Wonder Bar.
574
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,984
Well, I thought
they were never going to make up their minds
575
00:38:01,070 --> 00:38:03,027
and I'm not saying that
because of our Tina, you know.
576
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,652
because, I mean, after all
a second prize is better than no prize.
577
00:38:05,742 --> 00:38:08,029
Yes, but everyone was saying that it should
have been first prize.
578
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,361
But really, I can't understand
what they could see in that girl.
579
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:11,578
Archie?
580
00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:14,156
I mean, there was
a lot of the girls there extremely ladylike.
581
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:18,085
like our Tina, but that one?
The one that won first prize?
582
00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:20,834
Well, I'm sorry,
I shall just have to say it, Mr Rice.
583
00:38:21,174 --> 00:38:24,463
She was just common.
That's all I can say. Just common.
584
00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:26,927
Of course, you see,
I always knew our Tina had it in her
585
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:28,595
when she was a little girl, you know.
586
00:38:28,681 --> 00:38:31,674
Oh, yes, she was always doing impersonations.
Weren't you, love?
587
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,802
Oh, that.
- "Oh, that?"
588
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:38,939
Film stars, you know. Veronica Lake
she used to do. And Donald Duck.
589
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:41,104
And... who else did you do, love?
590
00:38:41,194 --> 00:38:45,655
I don't remember. I was only a little kid.
- I knew she had it in her then.
591
00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:48,323
That's why I thought
she better have elocution lessons.
592
00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:51,152
Well, she started those
before she started going to school.
593
00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:54,576
Oh, she's worked hard.
Of course she's got her head screwed on.
594
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,244
Well, you'll have seen that.
595
00:38:56,334 --> 00:39:00,078
You see, she wants to get on,
so I'm quite sure she will.
596
00:39:00,213 --> 00:39:02,250
All she needs is a little push.
597
00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:06,168
When you see some of those girls
on television, honest...
598
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,631
You're right, Mrs Lapford.
599
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:14,684
I think... Tina, your Tina,
could easily go places in a big way.
600
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:17,474
It's just a question of the breaks,
as you say.
601
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:20,014
Now, I'm just wondering.
602
00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:26,855
You see, I have a new show opening
at the Winter Garden, actually.
603
00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:29,945
The Winter Garden? Have you?
- Yes.
604
00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:33,493
Yes. You see, it's an expensive show.
605
00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:37,744
Doreen Maine and thousands
of pounds' worth of costumes.
606
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:41,786
It's quite a proposition.
607
00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:47,633
It just might be the right break for Tina.
608
00:39:58,521 --> 00:40:01,229
You're late.
- I'm sorry. I got held up.
609
00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:05,146
I had to see a man about some scenery.
- Why'd you want to meet me in this dump?
610
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,523
Well, I thought we might have a drink in the
caravan.
611
00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:08,445
What caravan?
612
00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:09,521
I'll show you.
613
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:19,452
Friend of mine owns a site.
614
00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:21,200
There.
615
00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:27,831
I thought we could be alone
for the afternoon.
616
00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:29,750
OK?
617
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:32,878
OK.
618
00:40:34,724 --> 00:40:35,805
Don't worry.
619
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:50,981
How do you feel?
- I feel...
620
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:56,906
Happy, I suppose.
- So do I.
621
00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,994
I've never been as happy as this.
Have you?
622
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:03,959
No, I don't think I have.
623
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:06,962
I've only ever had a young boyfriend.
624
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,544
Not used to the old crocks, then?
- Oh, don't be so daft.
625
00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:17,799
I mean, I've never made love.
Not like this afternoon.
626
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:21,430
Haven't you?
627
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,603
Do you think I'm in love with you, Archie?
628
00:41:28,861 --> 00:41:30,898
You tell me.
- Yes.
629
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:33,280
Yes, I think I must be.
630
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:38,327
What was your wife like, Archie?
631
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,493
She was, uh...
632
00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:48,545
a bit difficult to describe.
633
00:41:50,758 --> 00:41:52,590
Didn't you get on very well?
634
00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:55,419
Well, yeah, well...
635
00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:59,090
She, uh... didn't really...
636
00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:01,975
approve of the way I carried on, you see.
637
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:05,262
What do you mean?
- Well, uh...
638
00:42:06,482 --> 00:42:08,815
She didn't think I took life seriously.
639
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,937
Why should you take life seriously?
What good does it do you?
640
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,945
I think you look smashing
when you're on the stage.
641
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:25,033
Where are your children, then?
- The girl's in London.
642
00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:28,623
One of the boys is in the army.
643
00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:30,128
Hey.
644
00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:32,877
What time have we got to meet
your mum and dad?
645
00:42:33,301 --> 00:42:35,384
Oh, half past five.
- Yeah...
646
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:37,837
I'd better get dressed, hadn't I?
- Yeah.
647
00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:41,048
I can't wait to be in the new show, Archie.
648
00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:43,058
Dad'll help with the money side.
649
00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:45,602
He's driving over
especially today to talk about it.
650
00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:47,892
So don't worry. Mum'll fix that.
651
00:42:49,859 --> 00:42:53,273
Oh, Archie. You make me feel so good.
652
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,983
You do, really.
653
00:42:56,741 --> 00:42:57,982
There's something...
654
00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:02,111
I don't know... marvellous about you.
655
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:13,456
Did you ever want to get married again?
- No.
656
00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:17,380
Never met anyone, I suppose.
- That's right.
657
00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:20,883
Here is a summary
of the news. First, the Middle East.
658
00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:23,090
The War Office spokesman
announced this afternoon
659
00:43:23,184 --> 00:43:26,097
that Sergeant Michael Rice
was being released almost immediately
660
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:29,271
after negotiations which began
at 11 o'clock this morning.
661
00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:33,225
Sergeant Rice is reported to be fit and well.
An allocated aircr...
662
00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:37,487
What is it, eh?
663
00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,733
Tell me, Archie. What is it?
664
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,402
What?
665
00:43:43,913 --> 00:43:46,451
What's that that makes you so marvellous?
666
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,662
Say you love me, Archie.
667
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:57,291
I love you.
668
00:43:58,010 --> 00:44:01,048
Home in a few days, you know!
I can't believe it!
669
00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:05,053
I knew they wouldn't keep him.
They wouldn't dare, not even nowadays.
670
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:07,635
Oh, I hope it's true
and nothing will go wrong.
671
00:44:07,728 --> 00:44:08,844
Oh, pardon me, Phoebe
672
00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:12,227
but you do talk the most almighty rubbish
I've ever had to listen to.
673
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:14,899
They say they've got
an aeroplane standing by.
674
00:44:15,194 --> 00:44:18,983
I don't want Archie to be disappointed,
that's all, on top of everything else.
675
00:44:19,198 --> 00:44:22,612
You should never build things up.
You're always disappointed, really.
676
00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:29,119
That's Archie's trouble. Always builds
everything up. Always off on some new idea.
677
00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:31,950
And he said...
- Oh, I say, he's the limit, isn't he?
678
00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:34,286
Wait a minute, he said...
- I'm sorry, Archie. Go on.
679
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:37,714
He said, "Cat-Rice Inn?
Why do they call it the Cat-Rice Inn?"
680
00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:39,674
And he said,
"Well, you see, it goes like this.
681
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,003
"By the time all the pussycats are finished
chasing the electric saucer of milk
682
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:44,508
"it's turned into a rice pudding."
683
00:44:44,599 --> 00:44:47,057
Yeah, well, that one's not so good,
but I got it from my landlady.
684
00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:48,850
No, really I did. I got it from my landlady.
685
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:51,349
It's not the only thing I got off her.
686
00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:53,601
I haven't laughed so much for a long time.
687
00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:57,480
Oh, say, you know that boy
they've taken prisoner? His name's Rice.
688
00:44:57,570 --> 00:44:58,902
Did you see the evening papers?
689
00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:01,025
I heard it on the radio.
How 'bout another cup?
690
00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:03,357
I don't mind, thank you.
- Hey, hold on. I'm Mother.
691
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:09,322
Now it's time we got down to business,
as the bishop said to...
692
00:45:09,415 --> 00:45:11,122
To the actress. I know.
- That's right!
693
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:12,745
Don't worry about anything, Archie.
694
00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:14,997
I'll see her right. You have my hand on it.
695
00:45:15,504 --> 00:45:17,336
Oh, then the deal's all set?
- It is.
696
00:45:17,423 --> 00:45:18,459
Oh, thanks.
697
00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:21,007
And Tina's happy. Aren't you, love?
- Oh, yes.
698
00:45:21,427 --> 00:45:22,668
Well, thanks.
699
00:45:23,054 --> 00:45:26,218
Well, I've uh, got to get off to the theatre.
I'm a working man, you know.
700
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:28,674
Why don't we all come,
now we're in show business?
701
00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:32,181
Tina can pick up a few tips.
- Well, this is just uh...
702
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:35,226
This is just a little uh... summer show,
you know.
703
00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:38,817
It's nothing like
the glorious shape of things to come.
704
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:40,860
However, if you understand that,
by all means.
705
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:43,064
I'll leave seats at the box office for you.
In my name, OK?
706
00:45:43,157 --> 00:45:45,149
Thank you very much!
- Bye-bye, now.
707
00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:49,820
Oh, I say. He's a charming man,
isn't he, Wilfred?
708
00:45:49,914 --> 00:45:53,749
Now, Ada, this is just a business deal.
- I'm well aware of that.
709
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:54,995
Archie?
710
00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:59,671
I can't see you tonight with Dad here.
It'll have to be tomorrow.
711
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,081
All right, love.
712
00:46:21,112 --> 00:46:24,230
That... That wasn't Archie, was it?
- No.
713
00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:28,780
Oh, Jean, could you lend me ten bob?
Do you mind, dear? Just till I get paid.
714
00:46:29,954 --> 00:46:32,446
I thought I'd buy this for Mick
when he comes home.
715
00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:35,829
He's got ever such a sweet tooth, Mick.
He loves anything like this.
716
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:40,629
It's a bit jazzy, isn't it?
- Jazzy? No, I don't think it's jazzy.
717
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:42,957
I don't know what you mean by jazzy.
718
00:46:43,301 --> 00:46:45,088
Mick'll like it anyway.
719
00:46:45,428 --> 00:46:48,136
Yeah, look, take this.
Archie gave it to me this morning.
720
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:50,179
I'll borrow that, then.
721
00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:52,053
Now don't forget to remind me.
I'll give it you back.
722
00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:56,854
OK. Only I can't come, Phoebe, because I
promised to meet Granddad at the club.
723
00:46:57,023 --> 00:47:00,107
All right, dear. All right.
- I'll see you later.
724
00:47:00,192 --> 00:47:03,151
Oh, I'm so excited. Can I wear
my orange dress with my diamond brooch?
725
00:47:03,237 --> 00:47:04,273
Course you can.
726
00:47:04,363 --> 00:47:06,400
My diamond brooch, eh, Dad?
727
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:11,702
You can't all get to the top.
You can't make your own luck.
728
00:47:11,787 --> 00:47:15,997
Me, I was always lucky. Always was.
Mind you, I was good too.
729
00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:19,292
Oh, I know you were.
- Granddad. I must talk to you sometime.
730
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:22,120
Of course, my darling. What about?
- It's about Dad.
731
00:47:22,214 --> 00:47:23,796
Oh, yes. Later.
732
00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:28,085
It makes you proud, doesn't it?
- That ambassador I was talking to you about.
733
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:33,720
Sir Something Pearson, his name was.
Charming fellow. Absolutely the best type.
734
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:37,390
Told me I was his favourite comedian.
Barring George Robey.
735
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,106
Ladies and gentlemen!
736
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:45,106
Tonight is a great occasion
for one of our most distinguished members.
737
00:47:45,446 --> 00:47:49,156
I believe he's just had very good news
about someone in his family
738
00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:52,780
and I'm sure you'll all want to join
with me in offering heartiest congratulations
739
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:54,111
and in drinking his health.
740
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:55,657
Billy Rice!
741
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,248
And now I'm going to ask him to do us
the honour to step up here
742
00:48:02,338 --> 00:48:04,045
and sing us some of his favourite songs!
743
00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:10,669
Look at him. You wouldn't
remember him properly, would you?
744
00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:13,301
Um, "The British Navy" in G.
745
00:48:14,016 --> 00:48:17,555
- No, no. I don't want that thing.
- Yes, all right.
746
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:23,857
# The so-called government
We've got today
747
00:48:24,527 --> 00:48:27,611
# Are cutting down expenses,
So they say
748
00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:31,531
# To save a few odd million,
More or less
749
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:35,611
# They want to scrap the navy,
Do they?
750
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,658
# Yes!
751
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,282
# We know they're broke,
Well, I'm broke
752
00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,493
# So are you broke,
We're all broke
753
00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:46,663
# As we were when Bolingbroke
First sailed away
754
00:48:48,217 --> 00:48:50,630
# But we've got the men,
We've got the ships
755
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,883
# What's more,
We've got the water
756
00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:59,768
# And it's just as wet
As in Lord Nelson's day
757
00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:05,020
- # So...
- # don't let 'em scrap the British navy
758
00:49:05,276 --> 00:49:08,110
# Don't let 'em scrap our men o' war
759
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,569
# What do we care if the income tax
Is twelve bob in the pound?
760
00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:16,031
# We can owe it
Like we've always done before
761
00:49:16,745 --> 00:49:20,284
# Let Winston say ta-ta
To all the tartars he adores
762
00:49:20,541 --> 00:49:24,285
# But not ta-ta to all the tars
That guard our English shores
763
00:49:24,545 --> 00:49:31,384
# Let him scrap his high hats,
Squash hats, straw hats and velours
764
00:49:32,178 --> 00:49:35,592
# But they mustn't never scrap,
No!
765
00:49:35,931 --> 00:49:39,140
# They mustn't never scrap,
No!
766
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:43,596
# They mustn't never scrap
The British Navy #
767
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:48,400
# For I'm sure you'll agree
768
00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:51,570
# That a fellow like me
769
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:54,565
# Is the salt of our dear old country
770
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:57,192
# Of our dear old country
771
00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:03,999
# But when our heritage is threatened
772
00:50:04,126 --> 00:50:06,618
# At home or across the sea
773
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:09,747
# It's chaps like us
Yes, you and me
774
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:13,046
# Who'll march again to victory
775
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:20,056
# Some people say we're finished
776
00:50:20,184 --> 00:50:22,801
# Some people say we're done
777
00:50:22,937 --> 00:50:26,055
# But if we all stand
778
00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:30,150
# By this dear old land
779
00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:34,942
"Land of Hope and Glory"
780
00:50:37,910 --> 00:50:41,028
Don't look sour, dear.
- You'd look sour if you'd been messed about.
781
00:50:41,121 --> 00:50:42,532
You'll get what's coming to you.
782
00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:49,169
# The battle will be won
783
00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:55,759
# Thank God we're normal,
Normal, normal
784
00:50:55,844 --> 00:51:00,134
# Yes, thank God we're normal,
We are the country's flower
785
00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:03,137
# And when the great call comes
786
00:51:03,227 --> 00:51:08,063
# Someone will gaze down on us and say
787
00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:11,732
# They make no fuss
788
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:14,898
# For this was their finest shower
789
00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:17,568
# Yes, this was their finest shower
790
00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:22,369
# So thank God we're normal,
Normal, normal
791
00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:25,204
# Yes, thank God we're normal
792
00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:30,293
# For this was their finest shower
793
00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:36,499
What do you mean?
- You gave it all, my dear.
794
00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:39,587
There's a new show, solid,
backed to the limit. I've a new backer.
795
00:52:01,702 --> 00:52:04,285
And now a request from Mrs Connie Morris
796
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:08,206
of Dover Hay, Kew Ferry Drive,
Northwood, Middlesex
797
00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:11,164
for her husband, Flight Sergeant Ozzie Morris
798
00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:12,915
who is serving somewhere in the Middle East.
799
00:52:13,756 --> 00:52:16,339
Mrs Morris says that her husband...
800
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,175
Sorry, Phoebe, I've forgotten my key.
801
00:52:23,265 --> 00:52:26,178
You know, whenever there's a ring
at the door, I don't like to answer in case
802
00:52:26,268 --> 00:52:28,476
it's a policeman standing there
with another summons.
803
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:31,145
There'll be a policeman at the door,
all right.
804
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:34,687
I do hope Archie won't be long.
805
00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:36,689
No, I don't think he will, Frank's with him.
806
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:40,655
Oh, Frank's a sensible boy.
He'll see he doesn't stay out too late.
807
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:45,528
Archie's a fool to himself. Always got some
big idea he's gonna make money.
808
00:52:45,829 --> 00:52:49,197
A little while ago
it was female impersonators.
809
00:52:49,291 --> 00:52:51,453
We were going to make a packet.
810
00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:56,209
But by the time Archie got started on it,
it had all petered out.
811
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,173
Oh, well. It's no good worrying, is it?
812
00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:04,338
It says on the telly that Mick's coming home
and that's all that really matters.
813
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,348
Come on. Have a drop of this, dear.
- No, not for me, thanks, Phoebe.
814
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:09,892
Getting low on the drink, aren't we?
815
00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:12,812
Now, look, and you're not to have another one
until you've had something to eat.
816
00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:14,890
You've had nothing
but tea and cigarettes for days.
817
00:53:14,983 --> 00:53:16,599
Oh, no, I couldn't eat anything.
818
00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:19,277
People've got to eat, dear.
If you don't have something...
819
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:23,198
"People have got to eat," she says.
Ha! That's a good one.
820
00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:26,485
Well, you can't carry on...
- "People have got to eat," she said.
821
00:53:26,578 --> 00:53:30,288
Where... Where's he got to?
- He's just gone into the kitchen.
822
00:53:30,582 --> 00:53:32,539
That's not all they've got to do.
823
00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:34,709
They've got to do a whole lot of things
824
00:53:34,795 --> 00:53:37,208
a whole lot of things
you don't even know about.
825
00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:39,380
I know, love. Things have been tough.
826
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,960
You're a very sweet girl, Jean,
and I'm very fond of you.
827
00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,007
But you're not even my own daughter!
828
00:53:45,097 --> 00:53:47,089
All right, Phoebe, I'm sorry.
Let's forget it.
829
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:49,845
Don't presume too much.
- Oh, Phoebe, please, I just said...
830
00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:53,599
Don't presume too much!
- Let me get you some tea.
831
00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:57,353
Why doesn't Archie come back?
832
00:53:57,818 --> 00:54:00,435
You'd think he'd come back here
and celebrate
833
00:54:00,529 --> 00:54:03,897
after hearing his son was safe
and on his way home.
834
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,317
I don't know. You people...
835
00:54:07,411 --> 00:54:10,370
Oh, Phoebe, don't let's have a row,
and over nothing. It's silly.
836
00:54:10,456 --> 00:54:14,666
It's not silly.
Anyway, who said we were having a row?
837
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:19,671
All I said was that I wasn't hungry.
And you start getting at me!
838
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,623
I wasn't getting at you.
- I can't even...
839
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:25,547
You don't know,
you don't know what it's like.
840
00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:29,514
We've lived on penny pieces of bacon
from the butchers
841
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,967
and what we've got from the tribunal.
842
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:35,394
You're all alike.
- Frank, we should have stayed, I told you.
843
00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:37,564
Archie, I'm talking to Jean.
- Yes, dear.
844
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:40,813
I thought that's what you were doing.
I sized up the situation in a flash.
845
00:54:40,903 --> 00:54:43,646
Oh, it's easy for people like you
to make fun.
846
00:54:43,739 --> 00:54:45,981
I left school when I was 12 years old.
847
00:54:46,074 --> 00:54:49,567
Cripes! If she tells me that once more
I shall get up on this roof
848
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:53,496
drunk as I am, I shall get up on this roof
and scream. I've never done that before.
849
00:54:53,582 --> 00:54:57,872
You had to pay sixpence a week, then.
Some weeks my mother couldn't find it.
850
00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:01,705
But this is a welfare state, my old darling.
Nobody wants, nobody goes without.
851
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:04,382
All are provided for
- I was scrubbing a dining hall...
852
00:55:04,468 --> 00:55:06,175
Everybody's all right.
853
00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:08,344
Young Mick's all right
- I wish you'd both shut up!
854
00:55:08,430 --> 00:55:10,467
Frank's all right, Jean's all right.
855
00:55:10,557 --> 00:55:12,093
She'll make it up with old Graham
856
00:55:12,184 --> 00:55:14,517
and forget all about silly
old Trafalgar Square
857
00:55:14,603 --> 00:55:17,562
and Prime Ministers who look like dogs
downstairs. There you are, dear.
858
00:55:17,648 --> 00:55:19,480
You don't understand.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
859
00:55:19,566 --> 00:55:22,934
Phoebe scrubbed a dining-hall floor
for 500 kids when she was 12 years old
860
00:55:23,028 --> 00:55:24,360
didn't you? Didn't you?
861
00:55:24,446 --> 00:55:25,903
Have you any idea either of you
862
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,823
how often she's told me about those 500 kids
and that dining-hall?
863
00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,650
Oh, shut up!
- OK, son. I'll shut...
864
00:55:30,744 --> 00:55:32,076
Hey, pass one of those to Jean.
865
00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:33,778
She looks as though she could use it.
- I can.
866
00:55:33,872 --> 00:55:36,410
You've been away too long, darling.
Every night's a party night.
867
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:37,911
And do you know why? Do you know why?
868
00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:41,290
Hey, look at her.
Look at that poor, pathetic old thing there.
869
00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:46,462
She's very drunk, and right now her
underdeveloped, untrained mind
870
00:55:46,552 --> 00:55:50,796
is racing because her bloodstream is
full of alcohol we can't afford to give her.
871
00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:54,508
What's he talking about?
- She's tired and she's getting old.
872
00:55:54,601 --> 00:55:56,012
She's tired and she's tired of me.
873
00:55:56,103 --> 00:55:58,436
Nobody ever gave her very much
in this world except me.
874
00:55:58,522 --> 00:56:01,606
And my God, she's tired of that!
Aren't you, my old darling?
875
00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:03,308
You're tired of that, aren't you?
876
00:56:03,443 --> 00:56:06,277
I tried to make something of myself. I tried.
877
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,899
I really did try!
878
00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:11,199
I was nothing much to look at.
I was a plain kid.
879
00:56:12,578 --> 00:56:15,992
No, I wasn't. I wasn't even plain.
880
00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:19,991
I was the ugliest bloody kid
you ever saw in your life.
881
00:56:20,085 --> 00:56:22,498
But I made something of myself.
882
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,413
I made him want me.
883
00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:27,130
It was a long time ago.
884
00:56:27,217 --> 00:56:29,675
Well, let's have a row,
but, please, can we have a quiet row?
885
00:56:29,761 --> 00:56:32,048
But they know it was a long time ago.
I wish you'd stop yelling
886
00:56:32,139 --> 00:56:34,802
I can't hear myself shout. Sing us one of
your songs, there's a good boy.
887
00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:36,724
- Where's the old man?
- In the kitchen.
888
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:38,847
Billy, come out of there!
You know you're only reading
889
00:56:38,937 --> 00:56:40,724
and your Auntie Ethel's been
on her feet all day.
890
00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:44,979
What's he doing messing in there?
He knows I don't like him being in there.
891
00:56:45,110 --> 00:56:47,227
Leaves everything in such a mess.
892
00:56:52,326 --> 00:56:54,363
You've been at that cake.
- What?
893
00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:58,120
You've been at my cake,
you've been at my cake, haven't you?
894
00:56:58,206 --> 00:56:59,868
I was hungry.
- But that cake was for Mick.
895
00:56:59,958 --> 00:57:01,324
It was for Mick, it wasn't for you.
896
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,835
I'm sorry.
- I bought it for Mick
897
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:05,503
it's for when he comes home.
898
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:09,504
Why couldn't you leave it alone?
- I just fancied it.
899
00:57:09,593 --> 00:57:11,755
Couldn't you leave it alone?
It wasn't for you.
900
00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:16,097
What's the matter with you?
I feed you, don't I?
901
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:19,764
Don't think you give me all that much money
every week, because you don't.
902
00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:21,685
Phoebe, forget it.
- I don't forget anything.
903
00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:24,230
We'll buy another one.
- Oh, you'll buy another!
904
00:57:24,524 --> 00:57:28,484
You're so rich.
You're such a great big success!
905
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:31,396
What's a little cake?
We'll order a dozen of them.
906
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:37,695
Well, I bought that cake.
And it cost me 30 shillings.
907
00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:43,083
It was for Mick when he comes home.
Because I wanted to give him something.
908
00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:47,162
Something that I know he'll like after being
what he's been going through what he has.
909
00:57:47,255 --> 00:57:49,918
And now that bloody greedy old pig.
910
00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:51,666
That old pig!
911
00:57:52,135 --> 00:57:54,502
As if he hasn't had enough
of everything already
912
00:57:54,596 --> 00:57:57,009
he's got to get his great fingers in it!
913
00:58:10,278 --> 00:58:11,189
Excuse me, Jean.
914
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,609
Archie...
915
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:26,414
Well, I suppose he's had more out of life
than any of us and he's enjoyed it.
916
00:58:27,129 --> 00:58:28,040
Good luck to him.
917
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:31,331
All the same, you needn't have done that.
918
00:58:32,134 --> 00:58:34,296
I'm so sorry, Archie.
919
00:58:35,262 --> 00:58:38,050
Please try and forgive me.
920
00:58:40,642 --> 00:58:43,134
Come on, love! Pull yourself together!
921
00:58:43,228 --> 00:58:46,437
That's what we should've all done years ago,
pulled ourselves together!
922
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:50,893
# Let's all pull ourselves together,
Together, together
923
00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:53,820
# Let's pull ourselves together
And the happier we'll be #
924
00:58:53,905 --> 00:58:55,567
That's right, chaps.
Remember we're British.
925
00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:56,443
Heil!
926
00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:57,569
Don't look so worried, Jean.
927
00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,901
You won't have to put up
with this kind of thing much longer.
928
00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:01,361
Phoebe, let's see you do your dance.
929
00:59:01,455 --> 00:59:05,244
Hey, Jean, play something. She dances
jolly well, don't you, poor old thing?
930
00:59:05,333 --> 00:59:07,666
I wonder if she'll make me cry tonight.
We'll see, we'll see.
931
00:59:07,753 --> 00:59:09,870
Hey. Frank, sing us one of your songs,
there's a good boy.
932
00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:12,706
# When there isn't a girl about
You feel so lonely
933
00:59:12,799 --> 00:59:14,210
# When there isn't a girl about... #
934
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:17,715
Wait a minute.
I'm just trying to re... um... um...
935
00:59:17,929 --> 00:59:21,468
# The girl I love is up in the lavatory... #
936
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:24,684
No, Archie, no. Not like that. It's rude!
937
00:59:24,770 --> 00:59:27,979
Hey, you sing it, Phoebe.
- No, I can't sing. Not really
938
00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:29,476
All right, then.
939
00:59:29,858 --> 00:59:35,024
# The boy I love,
He's up in the gallery
940
00:59:35,155 --> 00:59:40,150
# The boy I love,
He's smiling now at me
941
00:59:40,285 --> 00:59:45,280
# Where is he? Can't you see?
Waving his handkerchief
942
00:59:45,373 --> 00:59:50,459
# As merry as a robin
That sings on a tree #
943
00:59:50,629 --> 00:59:54,122
Jolly good, old girl.
- No, it sounded bloody awful.
944
00:59:55,884 --> 00:59:58,046
This letter's from Claire.
- Oh, who's Claire?
945
00:59:58,136 --> 00:59:59,672
May I have another cup of tea, please. dear?
946
00:59:59,763 --> 01:00:01,345
Just a minute. I want to read her Claire's
letter.
947
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,967
I want you to listen, Archie, too.
948
01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:07,018
Claire's my niece, the one that's in Canada.
She's my brother John's daughter.
949
01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:09,812
They're all over there now, you know,
my brother John as well.
950
01:00:09,981 --> 01:00:14,726
They started off in the restaurant business
four years ago with $500.
951
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:16,652
Look, there's their little girl.
952
01:00:16,738 --> 01:00:20,152
Now they have a hotel in Toronto.
And they're going to open another one.
953
01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:21,778
You don't have to look interested yet.
954
01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:24,281
She's not interested
in all that horse manure about Canada.
955
01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:26,033
Of course she's interested.
956
01:00:26,123 --> 01:00:28,410
Frank, dear,
would you get me another cup of tea, please?
957
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:31,163
Look, I'm only trying to explain to her.
958
01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:34,253
You see,
they've got this one hotel in Toronto.
959
01:00:34,339 --> 01:00:36,331
Now they're opening one in Ottawa.
960
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:39,626
My brother John manages the hotel
in Toronto for them
961
01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:41,460
and now they want us to go out there
962
01:00:41,555 --> 01:00:43,968
and for Archie to manage the hotel in Ottawa.
963
01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:46,595
What do I know about hotels?
All I've ever lived in is digs.
964
01:00:46,935 --> 01:00:48,927
You see, he gets cross if I mention it.
965
01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:51,728
For God's sake, don't say
I get cross if you mention it once more.
966
01:00:51,815 --> 01:00:53,807
You've mentioned it, haven't you?
And I'm not cross.
967
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:55,766
I just think it's a bloody pointless idea.
968
01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:02,607
Anyway, you can't get Draught Bass in Canada.
969
01:01:05,537 --> 01:01:08,200
I'm going to the theatre.
- Will you be back for dinner, Archie?
970
01:01:08,290 --> 01:01:10,532
No, I don't think so.
I'll grab a bite somewhere.
971
01:01:11,501 --> 01:01:15,370
Hey, Jean, why don't you bring
some fish and chips to the old dump?
972
01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:17,045
Remember, when you were a kid?
- Yeah.
973
01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:19,040
I'll bring the champagne.
- All right.
974
01:01:19,176 --> 01:01:21,634
I don't often see my little daughter,
do I? Ta-ta.
975
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:22,877
Bye.
976
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,797
You know,
he doesn't like me talking about it.
977
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:28,884
But says
we needn't decide for another month or two.
978
01:01:28,977 --> 01:01:31,845
What about the boys?
- They can come too if they want.
979
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:35,314
I don't know about Mick,
but Frank likes the idea, don't you, Frank?
980
01:01:35,734 --> 01:01:38,977
Do you, Frank?
- Well, take a look around you.
981
01:01:40,113 --> 01:01:43,823
Can you think of any good reason
for staying in this cosy corner of Europe?
982
01:01:44,910 --> 01:01:45,821
Who are you?
983
01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:47,572
You're nobody.
984
01:01:47,996 --> 01:01:50,579
You're nobody, you've no money
and you're young.
985
01:01:51,499 --> 01:01:54,458
And when you end up, it's pretty certain
you'll still have no money
986
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:57,537
you'll still be nobody
and the only difference is you'll be old.
987
01:01:57,923 --> 01:02:01,712
You know, sometimes I think you're
the only really sensible one of any of us.
988
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:09,886
Here we are. Champagne.
989
01:02:11,645 --> 01:02:13,432
Remember when I picked you up
at the bottom here?
990
01:02:14,606 --> 01:02:16,768
You'd been a very naughty little girl
on the toboggan.
991
01:02:26,826 --> 01:02:30,160
Phoebe seems very keen on Canada idea.
- Yeah.
992
01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,994
I went to Canada during the war.
- I remember.
993
01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:37,076
Couldn't get Draught Bass,
not even in Toronto.
994
01:02:37,671 --> 01:02:39,879
Seemed to think that was pretty English.
995
01:02:40,799 --> 01:02:43,382
Didn't seem very English to me.
996
01:02:44,219 --> 01:02:46,461
Hey, can't get over you
and that Trafalgar Square.
997
01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:48,090
Did you really believe in all that?
998
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,047
Well, I thought I did at the time.
999
01:02:50,892 --> 01:02:53,384
Like me and Draught Bass
and women, eh?
1000
01:02:55,438 --> 01:02:57,555
Are you meeting someone?
- Hey, no. Well, uh...
1001
01:02:57,649 --> 01:03:00,016
Just a man about some scenery.
Got half an hour.
1002
01:03:00,860 --> 01:03:02,852
Phoebe seems set her heart on it.
1003
01:03:09,369 --> 01:03:10,405
Your mother...
1004
01:03:12,372 --> 01:03:14,364
Your mother caught me in bed with Phoebe.
1005
01:03:20,714 --> 01:03:21,830
I didn't know.
1006
01:03:25,343 --> 01:03:27,130
Well, I don't know what I really expected
1007
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:29,257
but somehow I expected you
to say more than that.
1008
01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:34,008
Yeah...
1009
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:35,555
You'd...
1010
01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,104
You'd just been born.
1011
01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:43,859
And your mother caught
poor old Phoebe and me together.
1012
01:03:45,488 --> 01:03:50,654
Poor old Phoebe.
She's never even enjoyed it very much.
1013
01:03:52,203 --> 01:03:54,160
Anyway, your mother walked out.
1014
01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:56,033
She walked out just like that.
1015
01:03:57,334 --> 01:03:59,246
She was what you'd call a person of...
1016
01:04:00,253 --> 01:04:01,789
a person of principle.
1017
01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:06,003
You mean, you didn't love my mother?
1018
01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:10,173
Yes. I loved her.
1019
01:04:11,056 --> 01:04:12,888
I was in love with her.
1020
01:04:13,641 --> 01:04:14,973
Whatever that may mean.
1021
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:20,100
Anyway, a few months later
she was dead. That was that.
1022
01:04:28,531 --> 01:04:31,274
Hey. tell me something. Will you?
1023
01:04:32,410 --> 01:04:34,902
I want you to tell me something.
- Mm.
1024
01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:38,448
Well, what would you say...
1025
01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:41,701
to a man of my age...
1026
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:45,504
marrying a girl of...
1027
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:50,127
about... your age?
1028
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:52,795
Oh, Dad!
1029
01:04:54,307 --> 01:04:55,468
You're not serious.
1030
01:05:00,730 --> 01:05:02,096
You couldn't.
1031
01:05:03,733 --> 01:05:05,599
You couldn't do a thing like that to Phoebe.
1032
01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,104
You've been away from your old man
a bit too long, haven't you?
1033
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:16,111
Hey, oh, my scenery man. Got to go.
- Where are you meeting him?
1034
01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:18,070
What? At the Rockcliffe.
- Well, I'll walk down with you.
1035
01:05:18,164 --> 01:05:20,827
No, no. Don't uh, don't bother.
I'm in a bit of a rush, you see.
1036
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:24,831
Here, I tell you what, why don't you take
old Phoebe to the pictures, eh?
1037
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:27,789
Here you are, love. Thanks.
Don't follow me.
1038
01:05:47,193 --> 01:05:48,684
Hey, what's the matter, Jean?
1039
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:51,733
It's Archie.
1040
01:05:51,865 --> 01:05:53,902
What is it now?
- A girl.
1041
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,819
Well, that's nothing new.
- He's thinking of marrying this one.
1042
01:05:57,912 --> 01:05:59,949
I don't believe it.
- It's true.
1043
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:02,535
What about Phoebe?
- Exactly.
1044
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:04,158
Who is it?
1045
01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:07,252
Oh, she was... she was
in the bathing beauty competition.
1046
01:06:07,338 --> 01:06:08,328
Tina Lapford.
1047
01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:10,752
She won second prize.
1048
01:06:10,884 --> 01:06:13,467
She's the daughter
of some bakery people in Burnley.
1049
01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:15,798
They must be quite well off.
1050
01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:18,672
Here's the end of the ride.
1051
01:06:19,601 --> 01:06:20,933
Come along, my dear.
1052
01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,605
Let me help you down, my darling.
- Thank you, Granddad.
1053
01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:36,152
You know, I wonder...
- Mm?
1054
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:41,162
You know, he was with her and her parents
yesterday at Stocks' Café.
1055
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:45,203
Do you suppose that
he's pretending we don't exist?
1056
01:06:46,002 --> 01:06:47,334
I don't know.
1057
01:06:47,545 --> 01:06:49,127
Her parents are here, you say?
- Mm.
1058
01:06:49,380 --> 01:06:52,293
They're staying at the holiday camp with her.
It's part of the prize.
1059
01:06:52,634 --> 01:06:56,423
Damn waste of money. Town Hall pays
and shoves it all on the rates.
1060
01:06:56,638 --> 01:07:00,632
Oh, Granddad, will you walk down
to the station with me to meet Graham?
1061
01:07:01,226 --> 01:07:04,094
No, you'll want to be alone, my darling.
- No, I'd love you to come.
1062
01:07:04,187 --> 01:07:06,474
I've got some business to do.
1063
01:07:06,981 --> 01:07:08,188
Bye-bye, Jean.
1064
01:07:09,317 --> 01:07:10,558
Bye.
1065
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:31,708
Can I speak to Mrs Lapford?
- I'll find out if she's in the camp, sir.
1066
01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:43,758
Calling Mrs Lapford. Please go
to reception, where friends are waiting.
1067
01:07:45,436 --> 01:07:48,019
Mrs Lapford? Well, that's me.
1068
01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:49,771
What can I be wanted for?
1069
01:07:50,066 --> 01:07:51,932
I wonder what they could want, Mother.
1070
01:07:54,279 --> 01:07:56,145
Hang on. I can hear him coming now.
1071
01:07:58,032 --> 01:08:00,365
Call, Mr Rice.
- Not now, old boy, Jackie.
1072
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:02,613
She's called twice.
A female named Lapford.
1073
01:08:05,707 --> 01:08:07,448
Could I have your autograph?
- Shh!
1074
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:09,958
Hello? Archie Rice speaking.
1075
01:08:10,753 --> 01:08:11,709
Yes.
1076
01:08:15,717 --> 01:08:19,836
No. Look, wait a minute, just a minute.
I don't understand. What's wrong?
1077
01:08:24,809 --> 01:08:28,268
I don't understand.
There's evidently some misunderstanding.
1078
01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:33,098
Well, look uh...
1079
01:08:33,401 --> 01:08:35,313
Don't be a cow. Don't stand there. Get out!
1080
01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:37,565
No, no, dear, I'm sorry. Look.
1081
01:08:37,655 --> 01:08:39,146
Let me ring back, will you?
1082
01:08:40,825 --> 01:08:42,942
What do you mean, the last time?
It's ridiculous.
1083
01:08:45,288 --> 01:08:47,154
Well, is Tina there?
1084
01:08:47,874 --> 01:08:50,491
Oh, can I speak to her, please? Why not?
1085
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:59,216
Who? Who's been telling you all this?
1086
01:09:01,304 --> 01:09:02,260
Who?
1087
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:09,302
I... I'm sure... He... he couldn't have...
1088
01:09:10,688 --> 01:09:12,145
Go on stage, on stage, everybody!
1089
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,142
He couldn't have understood.
1090
01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:17,601
Listen, Mrs Lapford.
1091
01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:18,685
I want her...
1092
01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:22,447
I want her... I meant it, I want her
in the show and I want her to be the star.
1093
01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:25,155
And I want her too. Tell her that.
1094
01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:33,334
No, no, no, you can't.
I'm depending on you. You promised.
1095
01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:36,704
All, everything's fixed up.
I've paid out cheques.
1096
01:09:42,679 --> 01:09:43,795
Yes.
1097
01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:46,926
Yes, it's true.
1098
01:09:47,725 --> 01:09:49,591
Seven years ago, that's right.
1099
01:09:50,728 --> 01:09:52,640
Yeah, still in the receivers.
1100
01:09:54,482 --> 01:09:57,566
Well, you didn't ask me.
1101
01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:03,071
Well, but, for God's sake, give me some time.
1102
01:10:03,991 --> 01:10:06,199
No, but... at least let me come and see you.
1103
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:15,250
On stage.
1104
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:24,293
Mr Rice, could I have your autograph?
You look so daft.
1105
01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:34,144
- Archie, that was Mrs Moneybags, wasn't it?
- Shut up!
1106
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:39,020
You've mucked it up, haven't you?
I said you've mucked it up!
1107
01:10:39,318 --> 01:10:42,527
- God, Archie Rice, you need a keeper.
- What's the matter?
1108
01:10:51,539 --> 01:10:52,495
Dad, what's the matter?
1109
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:54,619
Shut up. Shut the door.
Will you shut the door?
1110
01:10:54,709 --> 01:10:55,574
Just a second.
1111
01:10:55,668 --> 01:10:56,954
Hey, John.
- Yes?
1112
01:10:57,044 --> 01:10:59,582
Here, take these costumes
down to the girls for me.
1113
01:11:00,047 --> 01:11:03,415
Check the board
and tell Charlie to keep going.
1114
01:11:03,676 --> 01:11:05,508
Be about two minutes, OK?
1115
01:11:05,678 --> 01:11:07,135
Got all that?
- Yep.
1116
01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:13,217
Dad, what's got into you?
- Well, that's it. That's it.
1117
01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:17,518
Who do you think narked?
Shopped me? Eh? Grassed?
1118
01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:20,941
I better get used to prison language.
- What are you talking about?
1119
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:23,022
The show. The old man, the old man.
1120
01:11:23,112 --> 01:11:26,105
My old man, Billy Rice.
Old-time favourite. Nobody else.
1121
01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,737
What do you mean?
- The show, the new show, it's all finished.
1122
01:11:28,826 --> 01:11:32,410
What's Granddad got to do with that?
- Well, there's no time to explain that now.
1123
01:11:32,622 --> 01:11:35,660
Hey, better get on the blower to everybody,
everybody concerned.
1124
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:38,163
Make all cancellations. Every single thing.
- Yeah.
1125
01:11:38,252 --> 01:11:41,086
Oh no, it's too late now.
You better send wires, see? Send wires.
1126
01:11:41,172 --> 01:11:43,038
Harold, does Harold know?
- Oh, God, no.
1127
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,215
Look, tell Harold... Get Harold...
1128
01:11:45,927 --> 01:11:50,046
Tell you what, get him on the blower for me
as soon as I come off after the first act.
1129
01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:52,798
- Curtain up!
- Yeah, OK. Curtain up.
1130
01:11:57,021 --> 01:11:59,638
Have to ask you about the show, Archie.
- What happened, Archie?
1131
01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:03,942
- He's still with us. That's something.
- Archie, will you not be doing the new show?
1132
01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:08,238
Just give me a chance.
- You had your chance, mate. And ours.
1133
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:25,506
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1134
01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:35,178
Does he think he's funny?
1135
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:37,851
INAUDlBLE DIALOGUE
1136
01:12:40,064 --> 01:12:41,646
Shut up!
1137
01:12:41,732 --> 01:12:44,600
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
Archie Rice is the name.
1138
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:47,107
Archie Rice, Mrs Rice's favourite boy.
1139
01:12:47,196 --> 01:12:49,688
Now, we're going to entertain you
for the next two and a half hours...
1140
01:12:49,782 --> 01:12:52,195
half hours... half hours... half hours...
Whoo!
1141
01:12:55,329 --> 01:12:58,242
Tell your father I want to see him.
I'll be in his dressing room.
1142
01:12:58,457 --> 01:12:59,823
All right, Granddad.
1143
01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:02,914
Now I'm going to introduce to you,
it's my pleasure to introduce you
1144
01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:07,248
to that great little act,
Beryl and BoBo, The Trampoline Tramps.
1145
01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:09,333
Boys. Back in a while.
1146
01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:14,675
You swine. These poor kids
have turned down other work for you.
1147
01:13:14,765 --> 01:13:16,848
Listen, kids, I'm gonna try and see
what I can do.
1148
01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:18,050
We know what you can do.
1149
01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:20,227
We'll have it for this,
I'll get lawyers and I'll...
1150
01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:23,056
What about you lot? Not interested?
- He didn't want us anyway.
1151
01:13:24,567 --> 01:13:27,651
Look, take your spoon out of
the mixing bowl, Renee Baxter, and get ready.
1152
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:31,947
I don't care about the bloody money,
but I'm owing the bookie 15 quid.
1153
01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:35,409
No. Look here, be a pal.
Be a pal and forget it, would you?
1154
01:13:35,494 --> 01:13:37,656
How can I forget it?
I took your check and I've paid it in..
1155
01:13:37,747 --> 01:13:39,409
You paid it in?
- Yes, Of course I have.
1156
01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:40,409
When?
1157
01:13:40,499 --> 01:13:43,583
In the afternoon. And I've made out
payments on the strength of it too.
1158
01:13:44,211 --> 01:13:46,453
You'd better think about...
- OK, Harold.
1159
01:13:46,797 --> 01:13:49,084
Granddad's arrived.
He's gone into your dressing room.
1160
01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:50,666
For what, he...? Look...
1161
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,879
Wire uh... Jimmy Collins.
"Cancel shoes order. Snags. Archie."
1162
01:13:54,972 --> 01:13:57,305
And try and get... Try and get Lennie again.
- Archie!
1163
01:13:57,391 --> 01:13:59,553
Not now, dear.
- It's not fair, Frank!
1164
01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:02,011
Why, to think...! Why did he have to...!
1165
01:14:02,355 --> 01:14:04,563
Frank, I've lost one of me scallops.
- What is it?
1166
01:14:04,649 --> 01:14:06,686
Well, you'll have to turn sideways then,
dear.
1167
01:14:08,569 --> 01:14:10,310
Archie, before you say anything
1168
01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:13,317
I had to do it to stop you making
a total fool of yourself.
1169
01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:17,276
You stopped me. Congratulations.
- I didn't know there was anything more to it
1170
01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:18,827
this financial thing.
1171
01:14:18,913 --> 01:14:21,496
I like that phrase. "This financial thing".
1172
01:14:21,582 --> 01:14:23,289
I'll make it up to you, Archie, I promise.
1173
01:14:23,376 --> 01:14:25,959
I realise I've put you
in a bit of a spot with the new show.
1174
01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:30,039
"Bit of a spot."
- Look, Archie, I've had an idea.
1175
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,590
I'll come in with you. How's that?
1176
01:14:33,636 --> 01:14:37,721
You mean to jail, dear?
- My name's still worth something.
1177
01:14:37,807 --> 01:14:41,016
We'll give 'em the old songs.
People still want them, you know, Archie?
1178
01:14:41,852 --> 01:14:43,935
What about it, son? What do you say?
1179
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:47,227
God help you.
- Archie...
1180
01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:50,601
Listen, Frank. Maybe you can understand.
His mind's going.
1181
01:14:50,695 --> 01:14:54,029
Look, I'm an undischarged bankrupt, see?
1182
01:14:54,448 --> 01:14:56,189
I do everything in my wife's name.
1183
01:14:56,492 --> 01:14:59,530
But just this once I signed the cheques
myself
1184
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:00,701
for very obvious reasons.
1185
01:15:00,788 --> 01:15:03,826
Cripes, Archie! You really are...
- Archie, listen.
1186
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:07,580
Listen, son. Just no more interference.
Yes? Thank you.
1187
01:15:08,421 --> 01:15:10,583
I've got a few pounds in the post office.
1188
01:15:10,673 --> 01:15:12,130
- You're on again.
- Right.
1189
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:15,129
It's not much, mind you,
but it's a few pounds.
1190
01:15:15,219 --> 01:15:17,006
I'd like you to have it.
1191
01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:23,634
I didn't mean it. Doesn't he know?
1192
01:15:25,396 --> 01:15:27,308
I didn't mean it.
1193
01:15:41,287 --> 01:15:43,495
# Why should I care?
1194
01:15:43,664 --> 01:15:47,408
# Why should I let it touch me?
1195
01:15:49,253 --> 01:15:51,540
# Why shouldn't I
1196
01:15:51,672 --> 01:15:56,884
# Sit down and try to
Let it pass over me?
1197
01:15:57,386 --> 01:16:00,049
# Why should they stare?
1198
01:16:01,766 --> 01:16:05,851
# Why should I let it get me?
1199
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,812
# What's the use of despair
1200
01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:14,439
# If they call you a square?
1201
01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:16,562
# You're a long time dead... #
1202
01:16:16,739 --> 01:16:17,855
Thank you.
1203
01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:24,198
Thanks.
1204
01:16:26,874 --> 01:16:29,332
He's a bit down tonight.
- Is he?
1205
01:16:30,127 --> 01:16:32,335
Seems all right to me.
- Does he?
1206
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:37,753
I'm not much in the mood
for a show, I suppose.
1207
01:16:41,263 --> 01:16:43,220
What happened about the Africa job?
1208
01:16:43,974 --> 01:16:46,808
I turned it down.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1209
01:16:48,062 --> 01:16:52,227
Something like it'll turn up again.
Something like you might not.
1210
01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:57,736
I can't leave here yet. I'm too involved.
1211
01:16:58,030 --> 01:17:00,443
You do understand, don't you?
- I'm beginning to.
1212
01:17:01,867 --> 01:17:04,200
Whatever it is, you're up to your ears in it,
aren't you?
1213
01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:09,206
I'm not much help, am I?
- You've been very patient. I don't know why.
1214
01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:13,327
Because I love you. That's why.
1215
01:17:14,421 --> 01:17:15,252
You'd still rather
1216
01:17:15,339 --> 01:17:17,296
I went back to London tonight?
- Yes, please.
1217
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,962
It's not that
I don't want you to stay, but...
1218
01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:23,174
there's something I've got to see Dad about.
1219
01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:26,515
Would you like me to come with you?
- No, I'd rather you didn't.
1220
01:17:27,059 --> 01:17:28,220
Not tonight.
1221
01:17:30,604 --> 01:17:31,811
All right.
1222
01:17:33,149 --> 01:17:35,937
That she'd steal your knickers
and sell them for dusters.
1223
01:17:36,026 --> 01:17:37,858
Now, Mrs Robertson, Mrs Robertson
- Jean!
1224
01:17:37,945 --> 01:17:40,187
Number 7, Claypit Lane,
always used to say that.
1225
01:17:40,281 --> 01:17:42,022
What are you talking about,
you bloody right-wing old poop?
1226
01:17:42,116 --> 01:17:43,573
Don't you talk to your father like that.
1227
01:17:43,659 --> 01:17:45,150
I may be an old poop maybe, but not
right-wing.
1228
01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:46,485
Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?
1229
01:17:46,579 --> 01:17:49,071
Honey, your dad's a bit slewed, honestly.
- I don't want any.
1230
01:17:49,165 --> 01:17:50,372
Frank, I want to talk to Dad.
1231
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:53,291
I'm talking to Frank
about my landlady in Claypit Lane.
1232
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,334
You see, she always used to remind me
1233
01:17:55,421 --> 01:17:56,707
of a bloke I used to know.
- Dad, I want...
1234
01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:59,790
Listen, this'll interest you, you see,
because it's Prime Ministers and dogs
1235
01:17:59,884 --> 01:18:01,716
Dad, I want to talk to you about Phoebe!
1236
01:18:01,802 --> 01:18:04,590
Look, he was Irish, you see,
and he did a trampoline act
1237
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:07,593
and we all used to call him
Lady Rosie Bothways.
1238
01:18:07,683 --> 01:18:09,390
# The end of me old cigar #
1239
01:18:10,519 --> 01:18:12,351
Oh, shut up, Frank!
1240
01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:14,061
What's the matter with you, Archie?
1241
01:18:14,148 --> 01:18:15,810
Don't you care
what's going to happen to Phoebe?
1242
01:18:20,362 --> 01:18:23,480
Jeannie, love. Shall I tell you something?
1243
01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:27,113
All my life I've been
searching for something.
1244
01:18:27,745 --> 01:18:30,988
I've been searching for a Draught Bass
you could drink all evening
1245
01:18:31,081 --> 01:18:32,538
without running off every ten minutes
1246
01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:35,242
that you could get drunk on
without feeling sick, and all for fourpence.
1247
01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:37,544
Now, the man who could offer me that
would really get my vote.
1248
01:18:37,630 --> 01:18:38,791
He really would.
1249
01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:40,456
Oh, he's funny.
1250
01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:44,259
And Archie, you're a bit of a bastard,
you really are.
1251
01:18:44,345 --> 01:18:47,509
Go on, insult me. I don't mind.
- Oh, don't start being humble.
1252
01:18:47,598 --> 01:18:49,635
What's the matter with her?
- Don't ask me, son, don't ask me.
1253
01:18:49,725 --> 01:18:51,136
I've never solved a problem in my life.
1254
01:18:51,227 --> 01:18:54,095
You can't hurt yourself any more, can you,
not even by hurting other people?
1255
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:55,645
Why don't you leave your old man alone?
- That's right
1256
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:56,938
why don't you leave your old man alone?
1257
01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:58,981
I'd like to tell you
the truth about your father.
1258
01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:01,776
He doesn't give a damn about anyone!
He's two pen'orth of nothing!
1259
01:19:01,862 --> 01:19:04,479
I'd say that sums me up pretty well.
- Why don't you leave him alone.
1260
01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:07,236
Don't you know what he's trying to do?
He wants to divorce Phoebe.
1261
01:19:07,326 --> 01:19:08,567
What's going to happen to her?
1262
01:19:08,661 --> 01:19:11,324
Laugh, darling heart.
You can't change anybody.
1263
01:19:11,413 --> 01:19:13,496
But have you seen her,
this girl he wants to marry?
1264
01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:16,245
I caught them together
yesterday at Stocks' Café.
1265
01:19:16,335 --> 01:19:17,951
She, she's a professional virgin.
1266
01:19:18,045 --> 01:19:20,833
Oh, my God, if you're going to start that,
I'm going home.
1267
01:19:20,923 --> 01:19:23,757
She's pretty, she's spoilt,
she's vain and she's stupid.
1268
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,504
And her parents are probably stupid too.
1269
01:19:25,594 --> 01:19:28,007
How old is she? 20?
- 20.
1270
01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:31,389
I suppose you think you're going to get
them to put up money for this new show.
1271
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:37,896
That was the idea!
- What do you mean "was the idea"?
1272
01:19:38,023 --> 01:19:41,607
Well, you see, Jeannie, love, before you
started uh, getting fussed about it
1273
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:43,811
old Billy went and did something, you see?
1274
01:19:44,154 --> 01:19:48,319
He went and saw my little girlfriend's
parents and uh...
1275
01:19:48,492 --> 01:19:50,779
he uh... told them.
1276
01:19:51,161 --> 01:19:53,528
Unfortunately he did not realise that
1277
01:19:53,622 --> 01:19:55,955
in the meantime
I had signed a few cheques, you see.
1278
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,625
He scotched it?
- Oh, yes. Completely.
1279
01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:02,876
So you needn't worry, Jeannie, love.
I mean, about Phoebe, anyway.
1280
01:20:03,215 --> 01:20:06,424
Old Archie isn't going
to get his oats after all.
1281
01:20:19,648 --> 01:20:24,109
"Why Should I Care"
1282
01:20:26,488 --> 01:20:27,569
Dad...
1283
01:20:29,783 --> 01:20:30,944
Yeah?
1284
01:20:31,744 --> 01:20:32,825
Oh, I...
1285
01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:45,083
You're like your mother.
1286
01:20:46,508 --> 01:20:49,717
She always felt everything very deeply.
1287
01:20:52,139 --> 01:20:54,176
Much more deeply than I did.
1288
01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:58,560
You're what they call a... sentimentalist.
1289
01:20:58,937 --> 01:21:02,647
What are you talking about now?
- HE LAUGHS I know.
1290
01:21:03,317 --> 01:21:06,685
You think I'm just
a tatty old music-hall actor.
1291
01:21:07,279 --> 01:21:10,397
But you know, when you're up here...
1292
01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:13,157
When you're up here...
1293
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:19,323
you think you love all those people
around you out there.
1294
01:21:21,043 --> 01:21:22,409
But you don't.
1295
01:21:23,587 --> 01:21:25,874
You don't love them...
1296
01:21:26,632 --> 01:21:27,543
like...
1297
01:21:31,512 --> 01:21:34,721
Oh, if you learn it properly
you get yourself a technique.
1298
01:21:35,933 --> 01:21:40,223
And smile, darn you, smile and look
the friendliest, jolliest thing in the world.
1299
01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:46,107
But you'll be just dead and used up.
1300
01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:49,026
Just like everybody else.
1301
01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:52,897
See this face?
1302
01:21:54,952 --> 01:22:00,573
This face can split open
with warmth and humanity.
1303
01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:03,036
It can sing.
1304
01:22:04,294 --> 01:22:07,378
Tell the worst,
unfunniest stories in the world
1305
01:22:07,464 --> 01:22:08,921
to a great mob
1306
01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:13,923
of dead... drab... erks.
1307
01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:17,802
And it doesn't matter.
1308
01:22:18,684 --> 01:22:21,051
It doesn't... It doesn't matter because look.
1309
01:22:22,312 --> 01:22:23,803
Look at my eyes.
1310
01:22:26,024 --> 01:22:28,937
I'm dead behind these eyes.
1311
01:22:31,029 --> 01:22:32,315
I'm dead.
1312
01:22:33,657 --> 01:22:38,823
Just like the whole
damn shoddy lot out there.
1313
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:45,332
Hey.
1314
01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:50,748
Did I ever tell you
the most moving thing I ever heard?
1315
01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:57,588
Oh, Dad...
- No, no, it's not a gag. No, honest, I...
1316
01:22:57,681 --> 01:23:01,345
It was when I was in Canada.
I used to slip over the border sometimes
1317
01:23:01,435 --> 01:23:07,022
and one night
I heard some Negress singing in a bar.
1318
01:23:08,275 --> 01:23:12,235
If ever I saw any... hope...
1319
01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:17,069
or strength... in the human race
1320
01:23:17,618 --> 01:23:20,486
it was in the face of that old fat Negress
1321
01:23:20,829 --> 01:23:22,570
getting up to sing about...
1322
01:23:23,373 --> 01:23:26,161
Jesus, or something like that.
1323
01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:29,793
I never even liked that kind of music
1324
01:23:29,880 --> 01:23:34,750
but to see that old bag singing
her heart out to the whole world...
1325
01:23:35,302 --> 01:23:40,013
And you knew somehow in your heart that it
didn't matter how much you kicked people
1326
01:23:40,599 --> 01:23:42,090
how much you despised them
1327
01:23:42,184 --> 01:23:45,097
If they can get up and make
a pure, just...
1328
01:23:45,604 --> 01:23:47,186
natural noise like that...
1329
01:23:48,815 --> 01:23:50,647
there's nothing wrong with them.
1330
01:23:53,403 --> 01:23:57,864
If I'd done one thing as good as that
in my whole life
1331
01:23:59,159 --> 01:24:00,570
I'd have been all right.
1332
01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:09,751
I wish to God I was that old bag.
1333
01:24:10,671 --> 01:24:12,162
I'd stand up...
1334
01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:15,882
and shake my great bosom up and down
1335
01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:23,348
and lift up my head and make
the most beautiful fuss in the world.
1336
01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:28,140
Dear God, I would.
1337
01:24:30,983 --> 01:24:33,191
But I'll never do it.
1338
01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:41,111
Well, do you think you're going to do it?
1339
01:24:42,411 --> 01:24:43,618
Well, do you?
1340
01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:46,241
I don't know.
1341
01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:52,293
I really don't know.
1342
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:56,089
I'll probably do exactly the same as you.
1343
01:24:58,010 --> 01:24:59,922
Of course you will.
1344
01:25:01,680 --> 01:25:05,765
Mind you, you'll make a better job of it.
You're more clever.
1345
01:25:05,851 --> 01:25:06,887
Archie.
1346
01:25:08,145 --> 01:25:11,729
Aren't you coming home, Archie?
Frank sent me here.
1347
01:25:12,065 --> 01:25:15,024
There's a policeman outside
asking for you.
1348
01:25:15,402 --> 01:25:16,893
What do you think he wants?
1349
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,606
It's the income tax man.
1350
01:25:23,035 --> 01:25:25,573
I've been expecting him for 20 years.
1351
01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:29,906
Don't look so scared, Phoebe, love.
1352
01:25:31,043 --> 01:25:32,375
Old Archie's drunk again.
1353
01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:36,667
It's only the income tax man.
1354
01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:41,088
The policeman's outside with Frank.
What do you think he wants, Archie?
1355
01:25:42,137 --> 01:25:46,051
Bastards. The rotten bastards.
1356
01:25:49,227 --> 01:25:50,889
They've killed him.
1357
01:25:58,528 --> 01:25:59,985
They've killed Mick.
1358
01:26:30,227 --> 01:26:32,264
# Oh Lord
1359
01:26:33,355 --> 01:26:36,814
# I don't care where they
1360
01:26:37,359 --> 01:26:40,022
# Bury my body
1361
01:26:41,238 --> 01:26:44,106
# No, I don't care where they
1362
01:26:44,825 --> 01:26:47,909
# Bury my body
1363
01:26:49,496 --> 01:26:53,786
# 'Cos my soul's gonna live with God
1364
01:27:44,176 --> 01:27:45,212
Quick march!
1365
01:27:57,022 --> 01:28:00,686
They're giving him quite a send-off.
- They say he'll get the VC.
1366
01:28:01,359 --> 01:28:03,191
What will they do, send it on to him?
1367
01:28:05,697 --> 01:28:07,984
Could I have a photograph?
- Oh, please.
1368
01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:09,906
Who are you?
- I'm the boy's uncle.
1369
01:28:09,993 --> 01:28:11,109
Could I have a photograph?
1370
01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:13,949
They've got a job to do.
- And don't think they're not enjoying it.
1371
01:28:20,962 --> 01:28:24,205
- Are you all right?
- Yes, I'm all right, dear.
1372
01:28:24,508 --> 01:28:27,797
No, look, I'd like to go now.
- Just one last question. I won't keep you.
1373
01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:30,970
But I do realise that this is
a very difficult, awkward situation.
1374
01:28:31,056 --> 01:28:32,513
Why don't you just...
- I wonder
1375
01:28:32,599 --> 01:28:34,261
if you could spare me a few minutes.
1376
01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:39,224
All right, boys. Wrap it up.
1377
01:28:39,773 --> 01:28:40,889
Bum.
1378
01:28:41,942 --> 01:28:44,776
Now, about this story, Mr Rice -
this is how I've angled it
1379
01:28:44,861 --> 01:28:47,353
"The background of a hero".
1380
01:28:47,656 --> 01:28:51,650
And I thought we could do something with
those patriotic songs you sing in your act.
1381
01:28:52,744 --> 01:28:54,781
Well, that... That's...
1382
01:28:55,539 --> 01:28:57,496
They're my own material. I don't think...
1383
01:28:57,666 --> 01:28:58,873
How's the show going?
1384
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,543
Eh? Oh, well... Well, uh...
1385
01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:06,585
People just sit back and stare at you.
They just sit.
1386
01:29:07,092 --> 01:29:08,799
But London, that's the place.
1387
01:29:09,219 --> 01:29:12,803
You're not planning a comeback
by any chance, are you?
1388
01:29:14,724 --> 01:29:16,807
No return to the stage?
1389
01:29:17,435 --> 01:29:19,552
He's retired.
- Pity.
1390
01:29:19,771 --> 01:29:21,683
There's nothing like the old music hall.
1391
01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:25,983
Well, thank you so much, Mr Rice.
Please accept my sympathy...
1392
01:29:27,028 --> 01:29:30,146
They look as if they're about to go now.
- Now, understand, my dear
1393
01:29:30,240 --> 01:29:32,402
I'll pay all your debts, settle everything.
1394
01:29:33,118 --> 01:29:36,452
I'll see that nothing happens.
- You're the one to persuade him, Bill.
1395
01:29:36,705 --> 01:29:38,037
Only you can do it.
1396
01:29:38,206 --> 01:29:40,072
Only don't tell him that I asked you.
1397
01:29:40,542 --> 01:29:42,454
Frank's all set to go, aren't you?
- Yeah.
1398
01:29:42,544 --> 01:29:44,160
Could we have that?
- Yeah.
1399
01:29:44,254 --> 01:29:45,540
Want some, Dad?
- Yes.
1400
01:29:46,506 --> 01:29:49,965
Brother Bill. Admiring the view?
Worth the climb, isn't it?
1401
01:29:50,302 --> 01:29:52,635
Frank's been telling me
about Claire's letter, Archie.
1402
01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:54,007
I'm willing to help.
1403
01:29:54,306 --> 01:29:57,890
I'll pay all your fares and you can
start a fresh life. The three of you.
1404
01:29:59,769 --> 01:30:02,102
What's the matter, son?
You want to be a Mountie?
1405
01:30:03,690 --> 01:30:06,933
Archie, we could all be together.
Bill would look after everything.
1406
01:30:07,235 --> 01:30:09,568
What time's the London train?
- 9 o'clock, you old fool.
1407
01:30:09,654 --> 01:30:11,441
Who are we seeing? Rubens?
- No, Klein.
1408
01:30:11,865 --> 01:30:13,652
Charlie Klein?
- Charlie Klein.
1409
01:30:13,742 --> 01:30:15,199
What are you going to London for?
1410
01:30:15,285 --> 01:30:17,322
Well, we're just going up
to see about a new show, you see.
1411
01:30:17,412 --> 01:30:18,869
Old Billy's coming up
to make it look respectable.
1412
01:30:18,955 --> 01:30:21,663
Hey, why don't you come too?
We'll see old Graham again.
1413
01:30:25,211 --> 01:30:26,452
'Afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
1414
01:30:26,546 --> 01:30:27,878
Mr Klein, please.
1415
01:30:27,964 --> 01:30:30,456
And it's - who shall I say?
- Mr Billy Rice, Mr Archie Rice.
1416
01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:32,291
Oh, yes. Will you take a seat, please?
1417
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:38,715
Yes, old Charlie Klein's all right.
1418
01:30:38,808 --> 01:30:41,642
I used to know him
when he was about Jeannie's age here.
1419
01:30:41,728 --> 01:30:43,765
Put him up for the National Sporting Club.
1420
01:30:43,855 --> 01:30:48,099
As soon as I heard the name Rice,
I said to myself "Well, it can't be!"
1421
01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:51,061
Well, well, nice to see you, Billy boy.
1422
01:30:51,154 --> 01:30:53,692
How are you, Archie?
Let's come into the office.
1423
01:30:53,782 --> 01:30:57,901
Honestly, you're getting younger and younger.
You're looking wonderful.
1424
01:30:57,994 --> 01:31:00,486
Jeannie, love,
wait for us in the pub next door, will you?
1425
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:01,787
Won't be long, won't be long.
1426
01:31:02,415 --> 01:31:03,701
Well, uh... Charlie...
1427
01:31:05,710 --> 01:31:10,205
We all had our own style, our own songs,
and we were all English.
1428
01:31:10,298 --> 01:31:12,631
What's more, we spoke English.
1429
01:31:12,801 --> 01:31:14,508
Ah! There you are, Jean.
1430
01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:17,010
We all knew what the rules were
1431
01:31:17,097 --> 01:31:20,932
and even if we spent half our time
trying to make people laugh at them
1432
01:31:21,017 --> 01:31:23,555
we never seriously suggested
that anyone should break 'em.
1433
01:31:23,645 --> 01:31:25,261
Well, what are you gonna have to drink,
Billy boy?
1434
01:31:25,355 --> 01:31:27,267
Scotch, please.
- Scotch all round, please.
1435
01:31:27,357 --> 01:31:30,225
A real pro is like the general run of people
1436
01:31:30,318 --> 01:31:33,857
Only he's a lot more like them than they are
themselves, if you understand me.
1437
01:31:34,114 --> 01:31:36,322
Hey, Billy. See who that is?
1438
01:31:37,158 --> 01:31:42,244
Eddie Trimmer!
Eddie, my favourite comedian.
1439
01:31:42,455 --> 01:31:46,790
Archie, I love your dad.
He's such a sweet old man.
1440
01:31:47,043 --> 01:31:51,128
And still a first-class performer.
Still a first-class performer.
1441
01:31:51,548 --> 01:31:54,040
It's gonna be great
to see him up there again.
1442
01:31:57,012 --> 01:31:59,550
What are you doing?
What are you going to do to him?
1443
01:31:59,639 --> 01:32:01,847
You're not going to put him back
into the business?
1444
01:32:02,100 --> 01:32:05,309
It's our only chance.
Klein wouldn't look at me, you fool
1445
01:32:05,770 --> 01:32:09,514
Old Billy's sold on this idea himself.
- And you're going to let him do it?
1446
01:32:11,234 --> 01:32:13,567
Archie, you'll kill that old man.
1447
01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:16,111
Just to save
that no-good, washed-up, tatty show of yours.
1448
01:32:16,197 --> 01:32:18,564
It isn't to save
that no-good, tatty show of mine
1449
01:32:18,658 --> 01:32:21,150
it's to save your no-good, tatty Dad
from going to jail!
1450
01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:25,496
They may not come in to see Archie,
but they may remember Billy Rice.
1451
01:32:26,458 --> 01:32:27,744
Worth a try, anyway.
1452
01:32:28,626 --> 01:32:29,912
He wants to do it.
1453
01:32:30,336 --> 01:32:31,497
Look at him
1454
01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:32,962
poor old gubbins.
1455
01:32:34,340 --> 01:32:35,501
Top of the bill again.
1456
01:32:35,717 --> 01:32:39,677
# With your lips close to the telephone
1457
01:32:39,763 --> 01:32:44,804
# When they might be close to mine #
1458
01:32:45,060 --> 01:32:49,851
Well, here's to the Billy Rice show
at the Winter Gardens Illuminations Week!
1459
01:33:40,740 --> 01:33:42,606
Have you seen the old man?
- Yeah, he's OK. Jean's with him.
1460
01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:43,816
Has he been called?
- Yeah, but I'll...
1461
01:33:43,910 --> 01:33:46,744
Frank, we're stuck! We're stuck!
1462
01:33:47,080 --> 01:33:48,662
Pour a bucket of water over 'em.
1463
01:33:49,666 --> 01:33:52,909
Uh, what about my mandolin here?
Do you see a...
1464
01:33:56,339 --> 01:33:58,706
Oh dear, I've made a mess of this.
1465
01:33:58,800 --> 01:34:01,133
Oh, don't bother about it, Granddad.
Wipe it off.
1466
01:34:01,219 --> 01:34:02,960
It's your face they've come to see.
1467
01:34:03,179 --> 01:34:06,138
Do you want a drink?
- No, no, my dear. Not before the show.
1468
01:34:06,266 --> 01:34:08,383
Granddad? Overture.
- What? Already?
1469
01:34:08,476 --> 01:34:10,889
Don't worry, Frank. I'll be down.
- He's nearly ready, Frank.
1470
01:34:10,979 --> 01:34:14,017
Now, after "Put Me Amongst the Girls"
it's my first change.
1471
01:34:14,107 --> 01:34:16,019
Yes, don't worry, Granddad.
I'll have everything down.
1472
01:34:16,109 --> 01:34:17,065
Yes, of course.
1473
01:34:17,152 --> 01:34:19,109
Hello?
- Good luck, Mr Rice.
1474
01:34:19,195 --> 01:34:20,652
Hello! Haha!
1475
01:34:20,905 --> 01:34:24,774
Once I get that old backcloth behind me
I can hold them on me own for half an hour.
1476
01:34:24,868 --> 01:34:25,824
Here you are, Granddad.
1477
01:34:25,910 --> 01:34:29,824
I'll see those five-minute microphone wonders
out any day.
1478
01:34:33,543 --> 01:34:35,910
Archie, did you realise what time it is?
- OK, don't worry, now. No use...
1479
01:34:36,004 --> 01:34:38,872
He's on his way down now, Dad.
- You see? He's on his way down now.
1480
01:34:38,965 --> 01:34:41,753
This needs something with a voltage.
- Listen, son, don't be trouble.
1481
01:34:41,843 --> 01:34:43,425
God, is the overture on?
1482
01:34:43,511 --> 01:34:45,468
Don't worry, kid.
You've got a good two minutes.
1483
01:34:45,555 --> 01:34:48,047
Christ, Dad! You look great!
- Thank you!
1484
01:34:49,642 --> 01:34:51,884
Warn the orchestra.
- Dad, he's not ready yet.
1485
01:34:51,978 --> 01:34:55,096
It's all right, love. You've got
a good minute, don't worry. OK, up!
1486
01:35:25,428 --> 01:35:26,259
Break a leg, love.
1487
01:35:26,346 --> 01:35:28,008
Thank you, and the same to you, my dear.
1488
01:35:28,097 --> 01:35:30,054
She is a good girl.
I always said to Archie
1489
01:35:30,141 --> 01:35:33,930
"Always be nice to them on the way up
in case you may need them on the way down."
1490
01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:40,058
# Put me amongst the girls
1491
01:35:41,110 --> 01:35:44,899
# Put me amongst the girls
1492
01:35:46,532 --> 01:35:51,277
# Do me a favour, do
1493
01:35:51,412 --> 01:35:55,747
# You know I'd do as much for you
1494
01:35:55,875 --> 01:35:57,537
Are you ready, Granddad?
- Yes.
1495
01:35:59,796 --> 01:36:02,083
Gee, and we're coughing better tonight,
aren't we?
1496
01:36:02,173 --> 01:36:03,084
Good luck, Granddad.
1497
01:36:03,549 --> 01:36:06,838
# Put me amongst the girls
1498
01:36:08,179 --> 01:36:11,593
# Those with the curly curls
1499
01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:17,011
# They'll enjoy themselves and so will I
1500
01:36:17,188 --> 01:36:19,601
# If you put me amongst the girls
1501
01:36:21,109 --> 01:36:24,227
Tell Renee to keep going. Get a chair!
1502
01:36:24,320 --> 01:36:26,437
What's the matter, Granddad.
- It's my breath.
1503
01:36:27,073 --> 01:36:28,405
Brandy, quick, someone!
1504
01:36:28,866 --> 01:36:31,654
# Amongst the girls #
1505
01:36:36,541 --> 01:36:38,248
Renee!
1506
01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:45,998
What's the matter?
- Look, something's happened to Granddad.
1507
01:36:46,092 --> 01:36:47,924
You've got to go on again.
- What?
1508
01:36:50,179 --> 01:36:52,171
What's happened, Archie?
- Stand by to go on again.
1509
01:36:52,265 --> 01:36:55,099
It's so hot.
Yes, Dad, yes. Give us the bottle, come on.
1510
01:36:55,476 --> 01:36:58,560
A little smell of this.
- No, I'm all right. I'm all right.
1511
01:36:59,355 --> 01:37:01,392
Go on. Do a reprise.
- I can go on now.
1512
01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:04,020
No, Dad. No... Billy, Billy!
1513
01:37:05,445 --> 01:37:07,186
# Put me amongst the girls
1514
01:37:07,280 --> 01:37:09,772
Carry on.
# Put me amongst the girls
1515
01:37:10,575 --> 01:37:13,318
# Do me a favour, do
1516
01:37:13,453 --> 01:37:16,116
# You know I'd do as much for you
1517
01:37:16,247 --> 01:37:18,910
# Put me amongst the girls
1518
01:37:19,042 --> 01:37:22,706
# Those with the curly curls
1519
01:37:28,259 --> 01:37:29,591
I'm sorry.
1520
01:38:02,210 --> 01:38:06,204
Jean thinks I killed him.
- You didn't kill him, Archie.
1521
01:38:07,423 --> 01:38:09,915
He was such a sweet old man.
He really was.
1522
01:38:10,009 --> 01:38:12,217
Do you know who said that, Bill?
Charlie Klein.
1523
01:38:12,553 --> 01:38:15,842
Charlie Klein said old Billy was
the nicest old man in the business.
1524
01:38:16,224 --> 01:38:19,513
Klein's cancelling the show
as soon as he gets a replacement.
1525
01:38:19,811 --> 01:38:21,723
I've booked your tickets to Canada.
1526
01:38:21,854 --> 01:38:25,848
I'm going anyway, Dad. So you'd better
start thinking about number one.
1527
01:38:26,442 --> 01:38:28,900
Can't get draught Bass in Canada.
I've tried it.
1528
01:38:30,196 --> 01:38:33,564
I'm not doing anything for you
to stay here. Not any more.
1529
01:38:34,409 --> 01:38:36,071
It's Canada or jail.
1530
01:38:37,954 --> 01:38:40,662
You know, I always thought
I should go to jail.
1531
01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:45,701
I should think it must be quite interesting.
Sure to meet some people I know.
1532
01:38:50,675 --> 01:38:55,716
Oh, well. Just two more performances.
Seems a pity, though.
1533
01:38:56,097 --> 01:38:59,340
I should like to have notched up
21 years against the income tax man.
1534
01:38:59,934 --> 01:39:01,846
I'll never make my 21st now.
1535
01:39:02,520 --> 01:39:04,603
Been fun to get the key of the door, somehow.
1536
01:39:15,700 --> 01:39:18,033
# Why should I care?
1537
01:39:18,244 --> 01:39:23,035
# Why should I let it touch me?
1538
01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:26,242
# Why shouldn't I
1539
01:39:26,586 --> 01:39:31,752
# Sit down and try to
Let it pass over me?
1540
01:39:32,341 --> 01:39:35,175
# Why should they stare?
1541
01:39:37,013 --> 01:39:40,097
# Why should I let it get me?
1542
01:39:48,107 --> 01:39:49,018
Mr Klein.
1543
01:39:49,108 --> 01:39:52,067
Look, what's he up to,
making out he can carry on next week?
1544
01:39:52,236 --> 01:39:54,228
He said that?
- Yes, to all these people.
1545
01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:55,358
Yes, he did.
1546
01:39:55,490 --> 01:39:57,482
Look,
I was meant to be in Blackpool this week
1547
01:39:57,575 --> 01:39:59,862
but I had to come
all the way down here to fix this.
1548
01:39:59,952 --> 01:40:02,535
Well, I'm telling you, he's out. Finished!
1549
01:40:02,788 --> 01:40:05,155
# Why should I care?
1550
01:40:05,625 --> 01:40:09,369
# Why should I let it touch me?
1551
01:40:11,672 --> 01:40:13,755
# Why shouldn't I
1552
01:40:14,300 --> 01:40:20,137
# Sit down and try to
Let it pass over me?
1553
01:40:20,556 --> 01:40:22,388
# Why...
1554
01:40:29,815 --> 01:40:33,024
There's a bloke out here with a hook.
You know that, don't you?
1555
01:40:35,279 --> 01:40:40,149
He's standing there. I can see him.
Must be the income tax man.
1556
01:40:40,701 --> 01:40:43,068
This show finishes tonight.
- Yes, Mr Klein.
1557
01:40:43,162 --> 01:40:45,370
This show finishes tonight.
1558
01:40:48,584 --> 01:40:51,793
# Why should I care?
1559
01:40:51,879 --> 01:40:56,044
# Why should I let it touch me?
1560
01:40:58,052 --> 01:41:00,339
# Why shouldn't I
1561
01:41:00,471 --> 01:41:06,183
# Sit down and try to
Let it pass over me?
1562
01:41:06,727 --> 01:41:08,434
# Why...
1563
01:41:11,816 --> 01:41:15,275
# Why should I let it get me?
1564
01:41:15,987 --> 01:41:19,025
# What's the use of despair...
1565
01:41:24,912 --> 01:41:29,998
# If they see that you're blue
They'll look down on you
1566
01:41:30,334 --> 01:41:34,419
# So why oh why should I
1567
01:41:38,009 --> 01:41:39,090
Oh, well, I...
1568
01:41:39,719 --> 01:41:41,961
I have a go. Don't I, ladies?
1569
01:41:43,472 --> 01:41:46,465
I do. I... I have a go.
1570
01:41:53,566 --> 01:41:55,899
You've been a... good audience.
1571
01:41:56,902 --> 01:41:57,892
Very good.
1572
01:41:58,362 --> 01:42:01,230
A very good audience.
1573
01:42:02,074 --> 01:42:04,566
Let me know
where you're working tomorrow night.
1574
01:42:05,202 --> 01:42:06,784
I'll come and see you.
1575
01:42:22,011 --> 01:42:23,547
Ghost lights up.
1576
01:42:31,854 --> 01:42:33,686
Take the front curtains up.
133103
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