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1
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:04,302
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:20,311
(humming happily)
3
00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:22,514
Excuse me.
(laughs)
4
00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:23,681
What do you say, guys?
5
00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:24,783
Well.
Oh, my gosh.
6
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:25,884
(laughs)
How come you're so happy?
7
00:01:25,951 --> 00:01:27,018
Well...
8
00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:28,353
I didn't tell you
about this before
9
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:29,821
because if it didn't work out,
10
00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:31,489
it would have been real,
real embarrassing,
11
00:01:31,557 --> 00:01:33,792
but I've got a chance
to make big money.
12
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:36,427
Wait a minute.
What is it? What is it?
13
00:01:36,495 --> 00:01:38,229
Chinchillas.
14
00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:40,398
Chinchillas?
Eight months ago,
15
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:41,499
I bought six of them.
16
00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:42,934
Guess how many I got now.
17
00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:44,402
Go ahead, take a guess. Go on!
18
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:50,241
What an interesting question
you pose, Tony.
19
00:01:50,309 --> 00:01:55,112
Considering
gestation period
20
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,549
and average
litter size...
21
00:01:57,616 --> 00:02:00,018
about eight months...
22
00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:01,919
uh...
23
00:02:01,987 --> 00:02:04,889
you've got 162.
24
00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:09,060
No, I got 165, Jim!
25
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:11,062
165!
26
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:14,899
What was I thinking of?
27
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,603
I feel about this big.
28
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,606
Jim, you were off by three.
29
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:24,542
Oh, go ahead, lady,
rub it in.
30
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:32,450
Anyway, uh, a chinchilla coat
costs thousands of dollars,
31
00:02:32,518 --> 00:02:36,654
so I'm on easy street as soon as
those little guys start to shed.
32
00:02:36,722 --> 00:02:37,822
Watch out!
33
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:39,857
Ooh!
Oh, no.
34
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:41,259
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, Tony.
35
00:02:41,326 --> 00:02:43,728
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
36
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:45,897
(chortling)
37
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:48,500
I hate to be the one
to break this to you, Banta,
38
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,202
but they don't shed.
39
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:54,205
Oh, what do you mean?
You got to clip 'em?
40
00:02:54,273 --> 00:02:55,640
Uh-uh.
41
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:59,177
If you want to make coats out of
the little babies, you got to...
42
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,511
(makes slicing sound)
43
00:03:00,579 --> 00:03:02,514
(screaming)
44
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,751
Oh, no!
45
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:09,120
Oh, sorry, Tony.
46
00:03:09,187 --> 00:03:10,388
Well, I can't do it.
47
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:12,990
I can't. I'm not gonna kill
little-little Chubby
48
00:03:13,058 --> 00:03:16,694
and Muffin and... Whiskers
and Boots and Iron Man
49
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,729
and Rocky One, Rocky Two,
Rocky Three,
50
00:03:18,797 --> 00:03:19,864
and Toots and Joey
51
00:03:19,931 --> 00:03:21,099
and Groovy...
Wait a minute.
52
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:24,001
Tony, Tony! You
named all of them?
53
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:26,270
I had to have something
to put on their bowls.
54
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,744
Look what I got,
everybody.
55
00:03:37,249 --> 00:03:39,183
A monk.
56
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,488
Isn't that something?
57
00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:46,290
You-You know the party
you're all invited to,
58
00:03:46,358 --> 00:03:49,894
to come tonight to meet
Simka's cousin Zifka.
59
00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:51,062
ALEX: Yeah.
TONY: Yeah?
60
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:52,397
Well, this is him.
61
00:03:52,464 --> 00:03:53,565
Oh.
62
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,333
This is some surprise, huh?
63
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,601
Yeah.
64
00:03:56,669 --> 00:04:00,338
(chuckles):
Wow.
65
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:04,909
When I was a reverend,
I used to wear a robe myself,
66
00:04:04,977 --> 00:04:07,545
but it didn't
look like that.
67
00:04:07,613 --> 00:04:09,814
What-What did
it look like?
68
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:11,816
This.
69
00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:16,921
Well, anyway, I won't bother
to introduce him now.
70
00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:18,890
I'll see you all at 8:00.
71
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,592
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
72
00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:21,692
Why can't you
introduce him now?
73
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,529
He can't talk.
74
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,198
He has taken a vow of
non-communication.
75
00:04:27,265 --> 00:04:29,233
See?
Oh, oh...
76
00:04:29,301 --> 00:04:31,235
He can't even do this.
77
00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:36,207
And he can't
even do this.
78
00:04:36,274 --> 00:04:37,442
ALEX: Yeah, yeah.
We understand.
79
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,609
You know,
he can't even...
80
00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,244
No, no. We understand, yeah.
81
00:04:40,312 --> 00:04:41,946
Excuse me.
82
00:04:42,013 --> 00:04:45,350
I wanted to ask a question
about this party tonight.
83
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:49,154
Are we going
to get wild or crazy?
84
00:04:49,221 --> 00:04:51,789
You know, talk?
85
00:04:51,857 --> 00:04:53,724
Sure.
86
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:57,094
See, Zifka comes from a
monastery in my country
87
00:04:57,162 --> 00:05:00,398
that has a religious order
that is much different
88
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,067
than any religious
order you ever heard of.
89
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:05,670
Every ten years, each
monk in the monastery
90
00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,305
takes a week off,
91
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,240
and during that week,
he is free
92
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,409
to sample all
of life's pleasures.
93
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,245
Zifka's week starts
tonight at 8:00.
94
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,846
So, see you all there.
95
00:05:15,914 --> 00:05:17,081
Bye-bye.
96
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:19,316
Come on... come on.
97
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:25,990
I admire that guy.
98
00:05:26,058 --> 00:05:29,127
Did you see the serenity
in his eyes?
99
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:33,832
It must be wonderful in there.
100
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:39,537
I'm going to take
a vow of silence myself.
101
00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:45,143
I, Jim Ignatowski,
will no longer talk.
102
00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:49,914
Oh, that's easy.
103
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:51,883
Oops.
104
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:59,657
Everybody, it is 8:00.
105
00:05:59,725 --> 00:06:04,028
It's time
for Zifka's week to begin!
106
00:06:04,095 --> 00:06:06,030
(zipping)
Oh, gosh!
107
00:06:10,035 --> 00:06:15,039
Well, I wonder
what sage words of wisdom
108
00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:19,610
he will impart
after ten years of meditation.
109
00:06:19,678 --> 00:06:22,346
How do I look?
110
00:06:22,414 --> 00:06:24,248
You look wonderful.
111
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:25,416
Oh.
112
00:06:25,484 --> 00:06:27,951
Zifka, we have
a gift for you.
113
00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:29,320
A watch.
114
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:33,224
Oh, but I cannot keep it when
I go back to the monastery.
115
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,259
That-That's the good part.
116
00:06:35,326 --> 00:06:37,762
Eh, we get it back
when you leave.
117
00:06:40,799 --> 00:06:43,567
Oh. Thank you.
118
00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:44,802
Thank you.
119
00:06:44,869 --> 00:06:46,804
So, what are you
going to do first?
120
00:06:48,573 --> 00:06:50,008
Slouch.
121
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:54,111
At the monastery, they are
such sticklers for posture.
122
00:06:54,179 --> 00:06:55,313
(chuckles)
123
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,648
(sighing):
Oh. Oh.
124
00:06:57,716 --> 00:07:00,652
Zifka, Zifka, please,
stand up straight.
125
00:07:00,719 --> 00:07:02,587
We want you
to meet our friends.
126
00:07:02,654 --> 00:07:03,788
That's right.
127
00:07:03,855 --> 00:07:05,857
Here, this is Louie.
128
00:07:05,924 --> 00:07:07,124
Louie!
How you doing?
129
00:07:07,192 --> 00:07:08,292
(grunts)
130
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,360
And this is Alex.
131
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,595
Alex!
Hi.
132
00:07:10,662 --> 00:07:11,762
Hi.
133
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,231
And over here,
this is Tony.
134
00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:16,433
Oh, how ya doing?
Tony.
135
00:07:16,501 --> 00:07:18,068
And this is Jim.
136
00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:20,070
Jim!
137
00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:30,915
I-I want to thank you for
bringing silence into my life.
138
00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:35,553
And over here,
this-this is Elaine.
139
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,288
Hello.
140
00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,592
Do you dance?
141
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,628
Yes.
142
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,162
I thought so.
143
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:47,165
The man is a smoothie.
144
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:51,336
That's what he loves
more than anything.
145
00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:52,503
Dancing.
146
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:54,572
Yes. Oh, my
good friends,
147
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,674
I am so pleased to
know all of you.
148
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,844
I have so much to catch up on
in so little time.
149
00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:04,615
Latka, do you know what I
would really love to do now?
150
00:08:04,682 --> 00:08:06,416
Well, no, golly gee.
151
00:08:06,484 --> 00:08:08,986
I wonder,
what would you like to do now?
152
00:08:09,054 --> 00:08:11,322
I would love to listen
153
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:15,859
to somebody really
talented play the gruck.
154
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:18,329
Oh, well, I wonder
where we could find someone
155
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:19,763
who knows
how to play the gruck.
156
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:23,801
Well, your cousin Zifka!
157
00:08:23,869 --> 00:08:26,404
SIMKA:
Oh, that's right!
158
00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:30,975
Well, maybe he needs just
a little bit of encouragement
159
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:33,444
to play the gruck!
160
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,446
ALL: Play the gruck!
Play the gruck!
161
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,582
(all chanting):
Play the gruck!
162
00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:39,884
Okay, okay.
163
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,453
He plays
the eight-string gruck.
164
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:45,022
He plays it so beautifully.
165
00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,491
He was a child prodigy.
166
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,994
Did you know that
at the age of 12,
167
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:55,366
he was the second gruckist
in the national symphony?
168
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:57,769
There is a particular song, uh,
169
00:08:57,836 --> 00:09:00,238
from my country
that I would like to sing.
170
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:01,906
It, um...
171
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:06,710
Tradition says that it may only
be sung for a beautiful woman.
172
00:09:06,778 --> 00:09:07,978
(plays a chord)
173
00:09:08,046 --> 00:09:11,682
Uh, I think, Elaine, you
fulfill those requirements.
174
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,117
(chuckles)
175
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:14,418
LOUIE:
I knew it.
176
00:09:14,486 --> 00:09:16,821
He's been staring
at your headlights all night.
177
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,592
Headlights?
178
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:25,396
Uh, "headlights" means,
uh, eyes, Zifka-- eyes.
179
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:27,265
Well, in that case,
I dedicate this song
180
00:09:27,332 --> 00:09:30,301
to Elaine's headlights.
181
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,073
(sighs)
182
00:09:37,442 --> 00:09:40,378
(singing in native language)
183
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,426
(singing and playing continues)
184
00:10:16,614 --> 00:10:18,482
That was beautiful.
185
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:22,987
Elaine, in the song, he has
asked you to go dancing with him
186
00:10:23,054 --> 00:10:24,989
in the village by moonlight.
187
00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,290
Aw.
188
00:10:29,294 --> 00:10:32,396
Hey, Zif, what you're
really looking forward to
189
00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:33,631
is going dancing?
190
00:10:33,698 --> 00:10:34,899
Yes.
Come on.
191
00:10:34,966 --> 00:10:36,968
I'll take ya dancing.
I know a place. Come on.
192
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,736
Oh! Gee, I just forgot.
193
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,837
I just remembered.
I can't make it.
194
00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:42,439
Elaine, come
here a second.
195
00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:44,608
Oh, take it easy.
196
00:10:44,676 --> 00:10:47,278
Elaine, would you
take Zifka dancing?
197
00:10:47,345 --> 00:10:50,048
Wink. Wink.
198
00:10:50,115 --> 00:10:51,248
Well, I don't...
199
00:10:51,316 --> 00:10:52,950
I-I'd love to,
but, I mean,
200
00:10:53,018 --> 00:10:54,118
Simka, you have
this party planned.
201
00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:56,153
Oh, no, no.
Go ahead.
202
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:59,356
All I prepared
was a bowl of bread.
203
00:10:59,424 --> 00:11:02,827
Well, here I am
in the same old rut:
204
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:05,462
going out dancing with a monk.
205
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,164
She's only kidding.
She's a good sport.
206
00:11:07,232 --> 00:11:08,598
Go ahead. Have fun, you two.
207
00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:09,734
(all saying goodbyes)
208
00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:11,068
Thank you.
209
00:11:11,136 --> 00:11:12,069
He's all right.
210
00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:13,671
He's all right.
211
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,707
All right, turn out
the lights. Party's over.
212
00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:18,776
Bye-bye, everybody!
213
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,144
Come back again.
214
00:11:20,211 --> 00:11:21,312
Sure.
215
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:24,048
Yeah.
We'll be right back. Yeah.
216
00:11:28,186 --> 00:11:30,388
(laughing)
Just a second, Zifka.
217
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,889
I just have to get my keys.
218
00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:33,090
Oh, Elaine, I...
219
00:11:33,158 --> 00:11:34,758
Thank you for a wonderful
evening tonight.
220
00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:35,993
Oh... (laughs)
221
00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:40,297
Oh, I really enjoyed
those clubs and the music.
222
00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:43,067
You know, I just wish
I'd gotten you to dance.
223
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:46,070
Oh, do you think less of me
because I couldn't?
224
00:11:46,137 --> 00:11:48,405
No, of course not.
225
00:11:48,473 --> 00:11:51,875
I always wanted to,
but I-I never really have.
226
00:11:51,943 --> 00:11:55,813
So, there are all those people
there, you know.
227
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,748
It makes me nervous.
228
00:11:57,816 --> 00:11:59,450
So why didn't you just imagine
229
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:01,352
that you were dancing
alone with me?
230
00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:03,220
Ah, that's what I was doing
231
00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:05,590
the whole time
I was sitting there.
232
00:12:05,657 --> 00:12:08,292
(chuckles)
233
00:12:08,359 --> 00:12:10,461
Oh, you're good.
234
00:12:10,528 --> 00:12:13,463
Oh, no, no.
235
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,168
¶ Heaven...
236
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,036
(laughs)
237
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:22,473
¶ I'm in heaven ¶
238
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,408
(laughs)
239
00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:30,181
¶ And my heart beats so
that I can hardly speak ¶
240
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,716
¶ Da-da-da da-da da-da da-da
241
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,484
¶ Da-da da da...
242
00:12:34,552 --> 00:12:35,953
(chuckles)
243
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:40,123
¶ Da-da da-da da-da
da-da da-da ¶
244
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:45,295
¶ Oh, I'd love to
go out fishing ¶
245
00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:46,964
¶ In a river or a creek
246
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,299
(phone rings)
247
00:12:48,366 --> 00:12:52,336
¶ But it doesn't thrill me
half as much ¶
248
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:53,871
I'm busy.
249
00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:04,248
(laughing)
250
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:11,622
¶ Heaven
251
00:13:11,689 --> 00:13:15,258
¶ I'm in heaven ¶
252
00:13:18,496 --> 00:13:23,768
¶ And my heart beats
so that I can hardly speak... ¶
253
00:13:23,835 --> 00:13:26,003
(Elaine laughing)
254
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:29,106
¶ And I seem to find
255
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:33,144
¶ The happiness I seek...
256
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:36,046
Oh, I always
wanted to do that.
257
00:13:36,114 --> 00:13:39,116
¶ When we're out together ¶
258
00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:42,386
¶ Dancing cheek to cheek
259
00:13:43,488 --> 00:13:45,322
¶ Dance with me
260
00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:49,026
¶ I want my arms about you
(laughing)
261
00:13:49,093 --> 00:13:52,362
¶ All the charms
about you ¶
262
00:13:56,901 --> 00:14:00,905
¶ When we're out together ¶
263
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:04,708
¶ Dancing cheek to cheek.
264
00:14:04,776 --> 00:14:06,944
How long are you
in town for?
265
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,945
(laughs)
266
00:14:19,357 --> 00:14:21,291
(laughter)
267
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:23,828
Oh, hi.
268
00:14:23,895 --> 00:14:25,997
Oh. What did you guys
do today?
269
00:14:26,064 --> 00:14:27,231
Oh... oh!
270
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:28,632
We went
to the Bronx Zoo.
271
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,267
And to the World
Trade Center.
272
00:14:30,335 --> 00:14:32,169
And then...
then we flew a kite
273
00:14:32,236 --> 00:14:33,437
in Central Park,
you know,
274
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:36,807
and then we went roller-skating
down Fifth Avenue.
275
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:40,177
Were you singing "I'm a
Pepper, he's a Pepper"?
276
00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:43,714
So how'd you like the
World Trade Center, Zifka?
277
00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:45,282
Oh, it... it was great.
278
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,284
Mm-hmm.
279
00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:47,551
Well, listen, Elaine, uh,
280
00:14:47,619 --> 00:14:49,219
shall I meet you again
same time tonight?
281
00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:50,253
Yes.
282
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:51,822
Okay.
(knocks on table)
283
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,724
I'm going shopping.
284
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:56,660
I'm going shopping
to buy a present
285
00:14:56,728 --> 00:14:59,930
for a person, whose
face like an angel,
286
00:14:59,997 --> 00:15:01,899
has made my
visit here
287
00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:04,134
a treasure never
to be forgotten.
288
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:05,369
Oh, I'm so flattered.
289
00:15:05,436 --> 00:15:09,439
Even hearing you say it
just makes me go crazy.
290
00:15:09,507 --> 00:15:10,707
Oh, Alex.
291
00:15:10,775 --> 00:15:12,643
I-I'll be leaving New York
tonight.
292
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,245
I'm going back
to the monastery, so...
293
00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:17,448
so I'll be...
won't be seeing you again.
294
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:20,183
So, I just wanted you to know
295
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:23,287
I'll be praying for you to find
a little bit more happiness.
296
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,989
Oh, oh, I'm fine, I'm fine.
297
00:15:25,056 --> 00:15:26,590
I'm just reading my newspaper.
298
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:28,826
Well, it was really nice
meeting you.
299
00:15:29,927 --> 00:15:30,928
Oh, good-bye.
300
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,229
(smooching)
301
00:15:32,297 --> 00:15:33,330
(smooching)
302
00:15:33,397 --> 00:15:34,799
Come early.
303
00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:36,800
(laughing)
304
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:41,739
He seems to be taking up
a lot of your time, isn't he?
305
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:42,939
Oh, yeah.
306
00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:44,441
Yeah, to tell you the truth,
307
00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:46,677
we're spending every chance
we get together.
308
00:15:46,744 --> 00:15:49,146
Mm-hmm.
He's so much fun, Alex.
309
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:52,216
You know, he-he finds pleasure
in everything.
310
00:15:52,283 --> 00:15:54,051
He... it's, like,
311
00:15:54,118 --> 00:15:56,787
all a brand-new experience
for him because...
312
00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,889
because... because he thinks
that way, you know,
313
00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,624
and-and he makes me feel
that way, too.
314
00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:03,427
I mean, things I've seen
and done all my life
315
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:06,730
suddenly seem wonderful to me
because he thinks they are.
316
00:16:06,797 --> 00:16:10,301
Oh, I'll tell you, this has been
the best week of my life.
317
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:13,270
Well, that's very nice
for both of you.
318
00:16:13,338 --> 00:16:15,439
Is something wrong?
319
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:18,008
Well, now that you mention it...
320
00:16:18,075 --> 00:16:20,077
I hope you don't take this
the wrong way,
321
00:16:20,144 --> 00:16:22,580
but you are the worst parent
I've ever seen.
322
00:16:22,647 --> 00:16:25,248
What?!
You were spending
so much time with Zifka,
323
00:16:25,316 --> 00:16:27,417
you forgot about your own son
Jason's birthday party.
324
00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:28,419
Oh, no.
325
00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:29,920
Every year,
I come over and we go
326
00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:31,355
to Coney Island
or something like that?
Yeah.
327
00:16:31,422 --> 00:16:33,123
And I woke up this morning
and I remembered
328
00:16:33,191 --> 00:16:34,291
the birthday
was yesterday, and I...
329
00:16:34,358 --> 00:16:36,093
and those kids really must
have missed their party.
330
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,528
Well, actually, Alex,
we had the party.
331
00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:40,196
You see, and-and Zifka
was there, and we...
332
00:16:40,264 --> 00:16:42,967
we were having such a good time
that I forgot to call you.
333
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,134
I'm sorry.
334
00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:46,537
Oh, that's all right.
335
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:48,338
I was just concerned
that they have a good time.
336
00:16:48,406 --> 00:16:50,841
Oh, yeah.
They like Zifka?
337
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,076
They love him.
338
00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:53,877
Yeah. I can see how
they'd like him.
339
00:16:53,945 --> 00:16:55,879
He's like a Smurf.
340
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:58,848
(laughs)
Yeah.
341
00:16:58,916 --> 00:17:00,717
Alex...
342
00:17:00,785 --> 00:17:02,186
I love Zifka, too.
343
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,320
(laughs)
344
00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:05,789
Why are you laughing?
345
00:17:05,857 --> 00:17:07,124
"I love Zifka."
346
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,926
I mean, the sound of it.
347
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,661
You can't possibly be serious.
348
00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,195
"I love Zifka"--
that's like saying,
349
00:17:12,263 --> 00:17:13,997
"I love Bomba."
350
00:17:14,065 --> 00:17:15,933
"I love Cheetah."
351
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,968
Doesn't he have a last name?
352
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:19,803
What does his last name matter?
353
00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:21,939
I, uh... I'm telling you,
354
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:24,475
this is the fullest relationship
I've had in a long time.
355
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,776
Fullest relationship?
356
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:27,244
Oh, come on, Elaine.
357
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,847
You may not have thought
of this, but...
358
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,148
in a full relationship,
359
00:17:32,216 --> 00:17:36,186
physical compatibility
is very important.
360
00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:37,321
So?
361
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:41,258
So, he's been celibate
for ten years.
362
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:42,860
So?
363
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,629
So...
364
00:17:45,696 --> 00:17:49,733
he may find it difficult
to be with a woman.
365
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:51,034
No problem.
366
00:17:51,102 --> 00:17:53,237
No problem.
367
00:17:53,304 --> 00:17:55,105
Well, that's a relief.
368
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:57,174
Alex, Zifka's wonderful.
369
00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,744
He's... he's physical and
spiritual at the same time.
370
00:18:00,812 --> 00:18:02,412
Please.
And...
371
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,016
and you should see how shy he
gets when I tell him that.
372
00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:07,184
You tell him those things?
373
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,285
Yeah.
374
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,486
Oh, Elaine...
375
00:18:09,553 --> 00:18:10,921
Elaine, this guy comes
from another country.
376
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,089
Don't you know that?
377
00:18:12,156 --> 00:18:14,258
I mean, he might...
he might not understand
378
00:18:14,325 --> 00:18:15,659
that someone in New York...
379
00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,861
how they speak
in New York, you know...
380
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:20,797
people say things very easily
and don't even mean them.
381
00:18:20,865 --> 00:18:22,632
Well, I don't say them easily,
382
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:25,869
and I certainly mean
every one of them.
383
00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:29,106
Alex, in the purest sense
of the word,
384
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:32,042
this has been the most
romantic week of my life.
385
00:18:32,109 --> 00:18:34,845
Oh...
(blows raspberry)
386
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:37,347
Well, obviously, the
romance eludes you.
387
00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:38,682
Oh, wait a minute.
Elaine, Elaine!
388
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,551
You know, I was going
to let you walk out that door
389
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,453
without saying my piece,
but you keep heaping it on.
390
00:18:43,521 --> 00:18:45,088
But at the point
that I realize
391
00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:46,690
that you're toying
with this guy,
392
00:18:46,757 --> 00:18:48,225
then somebody
has to stop you.
393
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,228
Don't tell me I
toyed with him.
394
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,497
I don't toy with monks.
395
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:56,099
You know, that's a terrible
thing to say to somebody--
396
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:57,101
that they toyed
with a monk.
397
00:18:57,168 --> 00:18:58,302
Yeah, all-all right.
Look, I'm sorry.
398
00:18:58,369 --> 00:18:59,503
I'm sorry. I...
399
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:00,737
All right,
maybe I'm wrong.
400
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:02,940
Elaine, now, come on.
Don't be mad at me!
401
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:05,909
Ah...
402
00:19:09,013 --> 00:19:10,713
(sighs)
403
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:13,717
I'm not mad at you.
404
00:19:15,186 --> 00:19:16,954
(sighs)
405
00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:18,421
How could I be mad at you?
406
00:19:18,489 --> 00:19:19,523
(grunts)
407
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:20,590
You're just jealous
408
00:19:20,658 --> 00:19:22,425
that you have no
love in your life.
409
00:19:37,074 --> 00:19:38,942
(knock at door)
410
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,977
Oh!
411
00:19:41,045 --> 00:19:42,245
Where have you been?
412
00:19:42,313 --> 00:19:43,480
Our last night together.
413
00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:44,481
Time is almost up.
414
00:19:44,548 --> 00:19:45,716
I can't believe it.
415
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:48,485
I made you vegetarian
lasagna and everything.
416
00:19:48,553 --> 00:19:50,186
Elaine, I got lost.
417
00:19:50,254 --> 00:19:52,623
I took the wrong subway.
418
00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:55,525
We only have a minute,
40 seconds left
419
00:19:55,593 --> 00:19:57,828
before I have
to be silent again.
420
00:19:57,895 --> 00:19:59,529
Oh, there's
so much to do.
421
00:19:59,597 --> 00:20:01,665
I-I-I don't know
what to do first.
422
00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:03,500
Kiss me.
423
00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:07,571
Now, eat some lasagna.
424
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,373
(sighs)
425
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:11,375
Mmm.
It's good?
426
00:20:11,442 --> 00:20:12,375
Mmm!
427
00:20:14,512 --> 00:20:15,912
Isn't life crazy,
Elaine?
428
00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:18,482
You know, one minute,
429
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,518
you're in New York
kissing a beautiful girl,
430
00:20:21,586 --> 00:20:23,019
and then the next,
431
00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:26,023
back at the abbey
rolling cheese balls.
432
00:20:27,425 --> 00:20:29,559
Oh, it's so frustrating.
433
00:20:29,627 --> 00:20:32,296
Elaine, I was looking forward
to this entire evening
434
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,898
to tell you
of my feelings for you.
435
00:20:34,966 --> 00:20:36,399
Uh... there's
so much to say.
436
00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:38,668
I don't know how
I can say it all now.
Shh.
437
00:20:38,736 --> 00:20:40,237
You don't have
to say anything.
No!
438
00:20:40,304 --> 00:20:41,871
No, I do.
Elaine, you...
439
00:20:41,939 --> 00:20:45,309
you don't know how important
this is to me.
440
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,410
You know, it's not very often
441
00:20:47,478 --> 00:20:50,347
(watch alarm beeping)
that it happens that... when...
442
00:20:56,554 --> 00:20:58,188
Oh, no.
443
00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:02,659
No, no, no.
444
00:21:05,996 --> 00:21:08,098
(sighs)
445
00:21:14,005 --> 00:21:16,072
Can you at least
stick around?
446
00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:19,008
Lots of couples don't
talk to each other.
447
00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:22,012
I'm sorry.
448
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,115
I'm sorry; I didn't
mean to make you smile.
449
00:21:29,086 --> 00:21:31,488
This is so frustrating!
450
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,094
Zifka, you're great.
451
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:41,765
(sighs)
452
00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,667
And don't... don't worry
453
00:21:43,734 --> 00:21:45,869
about not being able
to tell me anything.
454
00:21:47,271 --> 00:21:49,740
What we had was so special.
455
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,744
(sighs)
456
00:21:54,812 --> 00:21:57,714
Well, there's no easy way
to do this, huh?
457
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,328
So, here's to us.
458
00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:28,211
Bye, Zifka.
459
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:40,324
(piano gently playing
"Cheek to Cheek")
460
00:23:04,848 --> 00:23:05,782
(song ends)
461
00:23:16,026 --> 00:23:19,663
(theme song playing)
462
00:23:40,518 --> 00:23:42,219
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!
463
00:23:42,286 --> 00:23:43,386
(man grumbling)
30860
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