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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,767 --> 00:00:04,702 (theme song playing) 2 00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:25,349 MAN (on TV): Mrs. Carson, I don't think we have a lot of time. 3 00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:28,719 WOMAN (crying): No. No, Val, no. Please. 4 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,288 Please don't go, Val. 5 00:01:30,355 --> 00:01:34,625 (enormous thud) 6 00:01:34,693 --> 00:01:36,528 (indistinct conversation on TV) 7 00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:42,467 (enormous thud) 8 00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:44,903 (debris falling) 9 00:01:47,039 --> 00:01:48,906 (enormous thud) 10 00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:54,278 (vehicles passing) 11 00:02:07,693 --> 00:02:08,860 Jim! 12 00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:11,896 Hey, hey, Jim, what in the world happened? 13 00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:17,969 Well, did you ever have one of those mornings? 14 00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,837 You know, 15 00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:22,607 the kind when a big steel ball 16 00:02:22,674 --> 00:02:25,743 comes crashing through your apartment? 17 00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:27,011 You mean a wrecking ball? 18 00:02:27,078 --> 00:02:29,480 Yeah, yeah, I'll say. 19 00:02:29,548 --> 00:02:31,882 It demolished the place. 20 00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,753 They tore down your building without even warning you? 21 00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:37,222 Well, 22 00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:40,458 you put up with a few inconveniences 23 00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:44,262 when you live in a condemned building. 24 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,130 ALEX: Hey, Jim, 25 00:02:46,198 --> 00:02:47,732 you look exhausted. 26 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,334 Why don't you go someplace and get some sleep? 27 00:02:50,402 --> 00:02:52,970 Ah, good idea, Alex. 28 00:02:59,912 --> 00:03:02,146 Good night, Alex. 29 00:03:02,214 --> 00:03:04,115 LOUIE: Forget it, Iggy. 30 00:03:04,182 --> 00:03:06,250 You can't stay here. 31 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,052 What-what kind of a guy are you? LOUIE: No way! 32 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,821 No way! No way! The guy wants some rest. 33 00:03:09,888 --> 00:03:12,023 Come on, boss, help me out! 34 00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:13,825 He can't sleep in the garage. 35 00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,026 Oh. Oh, great, great. Boy, you... 36 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,328 You-you want it from him, huh? 37 00:03:17,396 --> 00:03:19,964 He's the last person in the world that'd help you out. 38 00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,466 I don't want him staying here. 39 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,267 Let him stay at your apartment, Reiger. 40 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,170 Yeah. 41 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:30,942 Well, what are friends for? 42 00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,210 Yeah. 43 00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:33,678 (laughs) 44 00:03:33,745 --> 00:03:35,680 Why not? 45 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,515 Why not let him stay with you? 46 00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,050 Or you? 47 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,318 Or you? 48 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:43,154 LOUIE: Or you? 49 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:46,591 Well, now, you're a great bunch of pals. 50 00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:48,493 ALEX: One of us would love to have him. 51 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:49,661 Yeah. LOUIE: Oh. 52 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,929 Wouldn't one of us? 53 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,097 Yeah. To have him? 54 00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:53,932 Sure, one of us would. 55 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,066 So, who's it gonna be? 56 00:03:56,134 --> 00:03:57,235 (wry chuckle) 57 00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:58,836 Hey, Iggy, you'd be a good guest, wouldn't you? 58 00:03:58,904 --> 00:04:02,941 Well, sometimes I leave the cap off the toothpaste. 59 00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:04,208 Oh. 60 00:04:04,276 --> 00:04:06,311 I forget to wipe my feet, 61 00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:08,313 and I usually scream 62 00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:10,648 for several hours in my sleep. 63 00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:16,253 I don't mind a little screaming 64 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:18,056 in the middle of the night. Do you? 65 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,657 What else are friends for? 66 00:04:19,725 --> 00:04:23,961 So... who's taking Iggy home? 67 00:04:24,029 --> 00:04:25,963 Well, I, you know... 68 00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:27,732 Well, um... 69 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,267 You-you want to draw lots? 70 00:04:29,334 --> 00:04:30,635 ALEX: No. No, no, no, no. 71 00:04:30,736 --> 00:04:31,770 That's not the problem. 72 00:04:31,837 --> 00:04:33,038 That's not the problem, Jim. 73 00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:34,806 The problem is, we'd all love to have you. 74 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,441 Yeah. That's right, all of us. That's the problem 75 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,744 Well, look, let me make it easy for you. 76 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,814 Iggy, if you had your choice... Uh-huh. 77 00:04:42,881 --> 00:04:44,315 ...of all your friends, 78 00:04:44,382 --> 00:04:49,286 which one would you like to stay with? 79 00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:52,556 JIM (sighing): Uh... 80 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:57,028 promise there won't be any hurt feelings 81 00:04:57,095 --> 00:05:00,398 if I pick my best buddy? 82 00:05:00,465 --> 00:05:03,000 Oy... 83 00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:04,301 Oh, that sounds fair. 84 00:05:04,369 --> 00:05:06,203 That couldn't be fairer. Yeah. 85 00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:07,539 Then it's settled. 86 00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:08,906 I'll be the perfect guest. 87 00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:10,074 It's you, boss. 88 00:05:10,142 --> 00:05:12,109 (funny groan) 89 00:05:13,378 --> 00:05:16,414 Well, that sounds like a good choice. 90 00:05:16,481 --> 00:05:17,715 Yeah. (Louie grumbling) 91 00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:19,584 TONY: See you, Louie. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. 92 00:05:19,685 --> 00:05:21,186 Wait. See you later now. 93 00:05:21,253 --> 00:05:22,921 See you, guys. 94 00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:26,523 Thanks for bailing me out, boss. 95 00:05:26,591 --> 00:05:29,126 Hey, dirt face, I'm not your best friend. 96 00:05:29,194 --> 00:05:31,261 Oh, yes, you are. No. 97 00:05:31,329 --> 00:05:32,797 Look who just came through for me. 98 00:05:32,864 --> 00:05:34,065 No, no, no, no, no. 99 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,868 If we didn't live in a society 100 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:40,071 that got hung up on the fear 101 00:05:40,138 --> 00:05:42,240 of members of the same sex 102 00:05:42,307 --> 00:05:45,076 sharing mutual affection for each other, 103 00:05:45,143 --> 00:05:47,746 I'd kiss you full on the mouth. 104 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,647 Yuck! 105 00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:55,186 Apparently, the thought makes you uncomfortable. 106 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:58,589 Well, let's forget it and go home. No, no, no. 107 00:05:58,657 --> 00:05:59,890 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. 108 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:01,092 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 109 00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:02,794 Come on, come on, come on. No, no, no, no, no, no. 110 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:03,961 Relax. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 111 00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,663 No, no, no. Come on. 112 00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,365 Hey, get your hands off of me! 113 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,100 Okay. Get out! 114 00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,374 How's married life, Latka? 115 00:06:17,442 --> 00:06:18,309 Oh, it's fine. 116 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:19,611 I like it very much. 117 00:06:19,678 --> 00:06:23,047 I like the frequent sex, and 118 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:27,251 Simka is a very good cook. 119 00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:28,620 She wants me to... 120 00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:33,124 to ask you all you can come to dinner on June 15? 121 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:35,126 Why June 15? 122 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:38,562 Okay, well, how about tonight? 123 00:06:38,597 --> 00:06:40,398 (Louie grunts) 124 00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:46,570 It wasn't so bad. 125 00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:48,506 We played pool. 126 00:06:48,573 --> 00:06:49,808 We went to sleep. 127 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:50,975 He screamed. 128 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,977 We went back to sleep. 129 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:56,147 Uh, what's going on? 130 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:57,548 Oh, nothing much. 131 00:06:57,616 --> 00:07:00,318 Latka invited everybody to his house for dinner tonight 132 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,986 with him and his wife. 133 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,722 Oh, boy. 134 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:07,158 Latka's in really good spirits lately, ain't he? 135 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:09,127 Yeah, he sure looks happy. 136 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,228 (Jeff chuckles) (whistling) 137 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:13,765 You know, I don't, uh, feel out of line 138 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,667 saying this, uh, Jeff, because, 139 00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:17,769 uh, well, we-we, uh, you know, 140 00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:20,604 we worked side by side, you know, for a long time. 141 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:21,973 You become pretty close? 142 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,274 Yeah. Pals? 143 00:07:23,341 --> 00:07:25,743 Um, I think, uh, you ought to think 144 00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:28,479 about getting married and settling down. 145 00:07:28,547 --> 00:07:31,248 I am married, Louie. 146 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:34,052 Well, hey, congratulations! 147 00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:35,452 When did this happen? 148 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,689 About 11 years ago. 149 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:39,924 Congratulations again. 150 00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:41,358 And, uh, uh... and, uh, 151 00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:43,961 pass that along to missus, uh... 152 00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:47,431 Bennett. My last name is Bennett, Louie. 153 00:07:47,499 --> 00:07:49,467 I knew that. I knew that. 154 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,802 Phew! 155 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,003 Hey, Alex, it's for you. 156 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,639 Who is it? I don't know. 157 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,674 The guy's screaming and sobbing so loud, I can't tell. 158 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,444 Hello? 159 00:08:01,446 --> 00:08:02,546 No, no, no, come on. 160 00:08:02,614 --> 00:08:04,515 Come on, Jim. Nothing could be that bad. 161 00:08:04,582 --> 00:08:05,683 What is it? 162 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,118 No. Just-just tell me what happened. 163 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:10,922 Ji... Jim, you're at Louie's, right? 164 00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:12,924 All-all right, I'll, I'll be right there. 165 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,233 (knocking) 166 00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:26,737 Who is it? 167 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,172 It's me, Alex. 168 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,106 Oh! 169 00:08:31,076 --> 00:08:32,610 Hi, Alex. 170 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:34,245 Hi, Ji... 171 00:08:34,312 --> 00:08:37,548 Oh, my God! 172 00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:41,518 Then it's noticeable! 173 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:43,754 I knew it! 174 00:08:43,822 --> 00:08:46,890 Jim! Jim! Jim! 175 00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:50,627 What the hell happened here? 176 00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:51,696 Well, it's the old story. 177 00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:52,897 I was smoking in bed. 178 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,298 And you fell asleep? 179 00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:56,300 No. I didn't notice the flames 180 00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:58,803 consuming the apartment. 181 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,071 Jim! 182 00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:01,873 I left something burning on the stove. 183 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,207 Oh, my God! 184 00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:06,310 Oh, my God in heaven, look at this place! 185 00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:08,312 Oh, I-I don't... 186 00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,548 What do you think is gonna happen, Alex? 187 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,118 Do you think Louie's gonna be upset? 188 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:17,121 The question is, is whether he'll kill you or not. Oh... 189 00:09:17,188 --> 00:09:18,989 Holy mackerel! 190 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,891 Everything Louie owns has been destroyed! 191 00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,294 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 192 00:09:23,361 --> 00:09:24,995 That's not true. 193 00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:26,230 I'll fix it up. 194 00:09:26,298 --> 00:09:27,632 I'll work hard. 195 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,599 You'll help me. Huh? 196 00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:31,102 There's a lot we can do in a few hours. 197 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:32,303 What are you talking about? 198 00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:35,173 Uh, some paint, uh, some wallpaper, 199 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,775 a few flowers discreetly placed about. 200 00:09:37,842 --> 00:09:39,910 Jim. 201 00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,679 It's gonna be okay. 202 00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,414 Yeah, well, all-all right. Right, Alex? 203 00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:44,448 Alex, isn't it gonna be okay? Yeah, yeah, okay. 204 00:09:44,516 --> 00:09:45,616 Right, Alex, tell me it's gonna be fine. 205 00:09:45,684 --> 00:09:47,017 No, no, no, no. Jim, Jim, calm down, calm down. 206 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:48,653 Isn't it gonna be okay, Alex? Calm down, calm down. 207 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,521 Alex, please, is it gonna be okay? Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim... 208 00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,389 Alex. Calm... calm... calm... 209 00:09:52,457 --> 00:09:55,059 calm... Now, don't panic. 210 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,194 You hear me? 211 00:09:56,261 --> 00:09:58,229 Don't panic! 212 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:04,301 You're right, Alex. 213 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:09,306 The thing to do 214 00:10:09,374 --> 00:10:11,375 is to calm down 215 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:15,146 and rationally assess the situation. 216 00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:21,419 Everything's gonna be okay. 217 00:10:22,854 --> 00:10:24,655 (screaming) 218 00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:26,957 No, no, Jim, Jim, Jim, please. Jim. 219 00:10:27,025 --> 00:10:28,893 Easy, easy, easy, easy. 220 00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:35,666 (man whistling) 221 00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,301 JIM: I think I hear him coming. 222 00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:38,469 (whistling continues) 223 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:39,937 Oh, my God. 224 00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:42,573 (door opening) LOUIE: Oh, Iggy, I'm home! 225 00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,674 What are you cooking? 226 00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:45,142 (groans) 227 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,715 Uh... 228 00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:54,318 Uh, boss... 229 00:10:54,385 --> 00:10:56,020 (clears throat) 230 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,889 ...I owe you an apology. 231 00:11:00,658 --> 00:11:05,096 Just keep in mind 232 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,998 that material 233 00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:10,100 possessions are simply excess baggage 234 00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:12,302 on the journey of life. 235 00:11:14,706 --> 00:11:18,576 Everything I own is destroyed! 236 00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,312 (hollow note plays) 237 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,314 (clack) 238 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,785 Louie, Louie, Louie, Jim had a horrible accident. 239 00:11:27,852 --> 00:11:30,488 I mean, I-I know it's a terrible loss for you, 240 00:11:30,555 --> 00:11:32,923 but, uh, thank God nobody was hurt. 241 00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:34,925 What? 242 00:11:37,061 --> 00:11:40,130 Thank God nobody was hurt? 243 00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:41,432 Thank God that this man 244 00:11:41,499 --> 00:11:44,468 who just destroyed everything I ever owned... 245 00:11:44,536 --> 00:11:46,037 No, no, no, no, no... 246 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:48,039 ...in my life was not killed! Was not killed! Louie! Louie! 247 00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,174 Was not killed. Not everything was destroyed, boss. 248 00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:51,942 Not everything. 249 00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:53,010 Louie... 250 00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:54,312 (growling) 251 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:59,283 I saved your most prized possession. 252 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,091 See, boss? 253 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,595 Your beloved violin. 254 00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:17,835 JIM: The only irreplaceable thing in your life. 255 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,671 I risked my life... 256 00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:25,009 ...to see that it wasn't hurt. 257 00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:28,879 My violin. 258 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:36,387 He treasures that more than anything in the world. 259 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:48,166 Good thing I didn't save the piano. 260 00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:54,071 Look what you've done! 261 00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:57,908 My apartment... 262 00:12:57,976 --> 00:13:00,511 my life-- everything's gone. 263 00:13:01,412 --> 00:13:04,415 My bumper pool table! 264 00:13:04,482 --> 00:13:07,418 (crying): My... my rug. 265 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,322 My TV. 266 00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:13,658 (switch clicks) 267 00:13:16,728 --> 00:13:17,828 (switch clicks) 268 00:13:23,935 --> 00:13:27,404 My Time Life books on the great lizards. 269 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:33,677 Ma's needlepoint pillow. 270 00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,546 (crying) 271 00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:41,351 LOUIE: Oh... 272 00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:45,355 My photographs. 273 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,327 My piano, my-my photographs, 274 00:13:50,395 --> 00:13:52,530 my TV, my books. 275 00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:55,599 My-my bumper pool set is destroyed! 276 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,401 Not all of it, boss. 277 00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,404 These two pool balls are okay. 278 00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:01,838 Don't cry, boss. 279 00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,907 Please, don't cry. 280 00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,242 Here. 281 00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:08,145 (screams) Oh! 282 00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:11,415 Out! 283 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:13,284 Get out! Out! Get out! 284 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,286 I never want to see your face again. Boss... 285 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,620 You're fired! 286 00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:18,622 You're fired! 287 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:26,597 Hey, Lou, Lou... 288 00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:27,697 I mean, Lord knows, this is a terrible... 289 00:14:27,765 --> 00:14:30,233 You get out, too! 290 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,069 Hey, Louie... Out, out, out, out, out! 291 00:14:38,910 --> 00:14:41,845 I can't believe this happened. 292 00:14:49,487 --> 00:14:52,456 Louie, Louie... 293 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,791 Leave me alone! 294 00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:07,270 ยถ 295 00:15:15,947 --> 00:15:17,848 Boss... 296 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,688 ...I feel terrible about what happened. 297 00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:30,394 I came here to give you this. 298 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,965 Nothing is gonna change my mind. 299 00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,300 Nothing, you understand? 300 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,868 Now get out of here! 301 00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,908 Guess I'll go and get my things. 302 00:15:47,745 --> 00:15:49,679 Boy... 303 00:15:49,747 --> 00:15:52,782 I'm really gonna miss this place. 304 00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:58,455 It was wonderful working with you guys. 305 00:15:58,523 --> 00:16:00,057 Okay, Jim. 306 00:16:00,124 --> 00:16:02,225 Hey, Jim... Huh? 307 00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,194 We'll try to find something for you, you know, 308 00:16:04,262 --> 00:16:06,096 like a-a another job or, uh... TONY: Yeah. 309 00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:10,100 Well... nah. 310 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:13,103 It's back in the streets for me. 311 00:16:13,171 --> 00:16:15,105 Don't you see? 312 00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:20,877 I was a success here not because of the job, 313 00:16:20,945 --> 00:16:23,446 but because of that man over there. 314 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:26,316 He yelled at me. 315 00:16:26,384 --> 00:16:28,285 He abused me, 316 00:16:28,353 --> 00:16:30,588 but he made me work! 317 00:16:31,989 --> 00:16:35,426 Where else am I gonna find a guy like Louie? 318 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:39,129 Try Amityville. 319 00:16:41,132 --> 00:16:44,134 Louie, aren't you even gonna look at this? 320 00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:45,636 No! 321 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,638 JIM: If you won't read it, 322 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,640 at least let Alex read it to you. 323 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:52,109 If it touches you, good. 324 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:55,045 If it doesn't, not another word. 325 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:57,414 I'll just disappear. 326 00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:58,616 "Dear Boss"... 327 00:16:58,683 --> 00:17:01,484 (harmonica playing) 328 00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:05,556 "Dear Boss. 329 00:17:05,623 --> 00:17:07,558 "I always... 330 00:17:08,893 --> 00:17:12,029 "I always swore I'd never ask my father for money, 331 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,164 "even though he has a lot... 332 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:18,769 "...but I hoped in some way, 333 00:17:18,836 --> 00:17:20,937 "money might make up for your loss. 334 00:17:21,005 --> 00:17:22,939 "So, even if you never forgive me, 335 00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:25,842 "I hope you'll accept the enclosed check. 336 00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:28,145 "With all best wishes for you, 337 00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,448 "dictated but not read, James Ignatowski." 338 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,550 Hey, look at this, there's a check... 339 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:36,353 Hey, Jim, I don't want to criticize your old man, 340 00:17:36,421 --> 00:17:37,855 but what good is this check? 341 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:40,290 I mean, he signed it, but he forgot to fill in the amount. 342 00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:42,693 A blank check? 343 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:43,994 (thump) 344 00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:45,829 Let me see that! 345 00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:48,165 You can't give a blank check to Louie! Give me that. 346 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,033 That's okay, Elaine. 347 00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:53,036 Dad said Louie 348 00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:56,140 could make it out for whatever amount 349 00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:59,376 he thought was fair. 350 00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:02,679 I told dad he could trust your sense of honor. 351 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,684 That he can. 352 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,691 Would you believe it? 353 00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:17,093 I'm salivating. 354 00:18:17,161 --> 00:18:20,597 Ha, I'm actually salivating. 355 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,635 Boss? Yeah. 356 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,570 Does that mean you forgive me? 357 00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:27,971 I forgive you, Iggy. 358 00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:29,306 Can I have my job back? 359 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:30,774 You can have your job back. 360 00:18:30,842 --> 00:18:32,409 Does it mean you love me again? 361 00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:34,044 I didn't love you before. 362 00:18:34,111 --> 00:18:35,779 It's like old times. 363 00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:41,051 Boss, you just make out that check 364 00:18:41,118 --> 00:18:43,053 for whatever amount you want. 365 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,087 Except... 366 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,422 Except? What except? 367 00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:46,557 How come except? 368 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,126 Except that I have to call my dad, 369 00:18:49,193 --> 00:18:51,929 and tell him the amount so he can cover it. 370 00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:53,830 Mmm. 371 00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:55,832 Yeah. 372 00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,968 All right. 373 00:18:58,035 --> 00:19:01,472 Ah, now I want complete silence 374 00:19:01,539 --> 00:19:05,342 while I figure out... 375 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,344 the amount. 376 00:19:07,445 --> 00:19:10,047 (growling) 377 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,184 (growling) 378 00:19:14,252 --> 00:19:16,420 Jim! Are you crazy? 379 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,955 He's gonna fill that out for a million dollars! 380 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:21,792 That's why you're a cabdriver, Reiger. 381 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,795 If I fill this check out for a million bucks, 382 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,197 his dad would never cover it. 383 00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:28,966 But there is a figure, 384 00:19:29,033 --> 00:19:31,969 an exact figure, 385 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:34,972 one that's big enough 386 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,007 so that he'll go... 387 00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:38,676 (shudders) 388 00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:44,982 ...but not so big that he won't say, "Well!" 389 00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:50,386 Why don't you try the real figure, $8,000 or $9,000? 390 00:19:50,454 --> 00:19:52,355 (laughs hysterically) 391 00:19:58,763 --> 00:20:00,730 ELAINE: Look at him. 392 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,133 Eight or nine, eight or nine... 393 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,402 Jim, why are you laughing? 394 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,704 'Cause the boss is so happy. 395 00:20:07,772 --> 00:20:09,539 Yeah, yeah! 396 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,508 Let's see what we got here, Iggy. 397 00:20:11,576 --> 00:20:12,442 Come on. 398 00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:14,511 (mumbling) 399 00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:16,313 All right. 400 00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:17,414 All right, now. 401 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,849 $50,000. 402 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,651 No, no, no, 403 00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,285 that's too high, that's too high. 404 00:20:22,353 --> 00:20:24,288 He'll never go for that. Never. 405 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:25,588 40... 48. 406 00:20:25,656 --> 00:20:27,925 If I say 48, he'll think 50, 407 00:20:27,992 --> 00:20:29,759 and he won't go for it. Uh-huh. 408 00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,161 If I say 47, 409 00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:32,629 he'll think 48, he'll think 50, 410 00:20:32,697 --> 00:20:33,931 he won't go for it. 411 00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,199 If I say 46, he'll think 47, 412 00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:37,868 he'll think 48, he'll think 50, 413 00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:39,302 he won't go for it. 414 00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:40,604 If I say 45, 415 00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,673 he'll say 46... Louie! 416 00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:44,508 So, we rule out the 40s. 417 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:50,514 39,999. 418 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,848 No! 419 00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:53,683 It's no good! It's too high. 420 00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:54,851 He'll go nuts. 421 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:55,885 He won't pay it. 422 00:20:55,953 --> 00:20:56,920 All right. 423 00:20:56,988 --> 00:20:59,189 Now, let's see. 424 00:20:59,257 --> 00:21:02,392 $24,000. 425 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,728 $8,000. 426 00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:06,396 In there, 427 00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:08,398 somewhere in there, 428 00:21:08,466 --> 00:21:11,034 24... eight. 429 00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,570 You know, in its own way, this is kind of spellbinding. 430 00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:18,074 All right, $20,000... 431 00:21:18,142 --> 00:21:19,576 20,000... 432 00:21:19,644 --> 00:21:21,745 $26,000. 433 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,446 Oh, wait a minute! 434 00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:24,715 14,000! 435 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,850 And here, 436 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,084 24. 437 00:21:28,152 --> 00:21:28,885 Wait! 438 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,286 27,000! 439 00:21:30,354 --> 00:21:32,222 27,000, that's it! 440 00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:33,156 Call your father. 441 00:21:33,224 --> 00:21:35,358 $27,000. That's it! 442 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,326 TONY: Are you sure, Louie? 443 00:21:36,393 --> 00:21:38,295 I-I gotta see it on paper. 444 00:21:39,363 --> 00:21:42,299 $27,000. 445 00:21:42,366 --> 00:21:44,301 What's that look like to you, Banta? 446 00:21:44,368 --> 00:21:47,371 I've never seen that much money in one place before. 447 00:21:47,438 --> 00:21:48,639 It's too much. 448 00:21:48,706 --> 00:21:50,407 He'll never pay that. Wait! Wait! 449 00:21:50,474 --> 00:21:51,675 Wait! Wait. 450 00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:53,977 24,000... 451 00:21:54,045 --> 00:21:55,912 23,000... 452 00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,314 22,000... 453 00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:58,415 20... 454 00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:00,350 20... 455 00:22:00,418 --> 00:22:02,352 27,000! 27! 456 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:04,354 It's what I said the first time! 27. 457 00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:05,855 Tell him 27. 458 00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:07,724 27,000. 459 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,595 29,000. 460 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,264 29,000. 461 00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:16,433 540. 462 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:19,436 540. 463 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,738 That's right. 464 00:22:21,805 --> 00:22:23,873 Twenty-nine thousand... 465 00:22:23,941 --> 00:22:25,342 five hundred and forty. 466 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,610 Two! Two! 467 00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:30,680 Uh, twenty-nine thousand five hundred 468 00:22:30,749 --> 00:22:33,249 and forty-two. 469 00:22:34,585 --> 00:22:36,486 Okeydoke. 470 00:22:36,554 --> 00:22:37,754 Bye, Dad. 471 00:22:37,822 --> 00:22:40,757 Uh, Dad, I love you. 472 00:22:40,825 --> 00:22:41,925 (phone clicks) 473 00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:43,927 Hello? 474 00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:46,930 Hello? 475 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:49,967 Huh? Did he okay it? 476 00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:51,868 He sure did, boss. He okayed it! 477 00:22:51,936 --> 00:22:53,369 He okayed it! Congratulations! 478 00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:55,605 He okayed it! 479 00:22:55,673 --> 00:22:58,475 Let's have three cheers for the human torch! 480 00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,109 (three puffs) 481 00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:02,379 Phew! 482 00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,381 Boy, dad was relieved! 483 00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:06,550 He said he was afraid 484 00:23:06,617 --> 00:23:09,319 it was gonna be something like $200,000. 485 00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:10,654 (grunts) 486 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,557 Look at him. 487 00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:16,426 He's overcome with emotion, 488 00:23:16,493 --> 00:23:18,428 just like I am. 489 00:23:18,495 --> 00:23:19,897 Damn it! 490 00:23:19,964 --> 00:23:23,466 That kiss is gonna happen sometimes, and you know it. 491 00:23:24,769 --> 00:23:26,903 Get over here. 492 00:23:26,971 --> 00:23:29,306 Come on, come on. 493 00:23:29,373 --> 00:23:30,540 Come on, come on. 494 00:23:30,608 --> 00:23:32,676 Come on. (mumbles) ...2,000. 495 00:23:32,678 --> 00:23:34,410 Let the world talk. 496 00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:36,212 Come on. 497 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,048 Get away from me! 498 00:23:47,859 --> 00:23:50,427 (theme song playing) 499 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:14,918 WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters! 500 00:24:14,986 --> 00:24:15,986 (man grumbling) 32113

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