All language subtitles for Taxi.s04e21.The_Wedding_of_Latka_and_Simka.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:04,469 (theme song playing) 2 00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:25,183 Hello, Arlene. 3 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:27,819 Hello, Jose. 4 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:29,687 Hello, Dwayne. 5 00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:32,557 Hello, Billy. 6 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,493 Hello, Ruby. 7 00:01:37,863 --> 00:01:40,465 A man is nothing without friends. 8 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,735 Boy, are you in a good mood 9 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,537 today. Yes. 10 00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:46,938 You know that nagging 11 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,774 multiple personalities problem I had? 12 00:01:49,842 --> 00:01:50,875 TONY: Yeah. Yeah. 13 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:53,011 It is gone. I am cured. 14 00:01:53,079 --> 00:03:47,501 You sure, Latka? 15 00:01:53,846 --> 00:01:55,213 Yes. 16 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:56,914 I knew you would be skeptical, 17 00:01:56,982 --> 00:02:00,084 so I brought my therapist so she could meet you. 18 00:02:00,152 --> 00:02:01,019 Yeah? (chuckles) 19 00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:02,287 Please... therapist. 20 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:03,454 It's probably a witch doctor. 21 00:02:03,522 --> 00:02:05,122 ALEX: This guy goes to a therapist like... 22 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,025 Look what you gave me-- three twos. 23 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,961 ELAINE: Yikes! 24 00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:14,933 This is Elaine. 25 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,133 Hello. 26 00:02:16,201 --> 00:02:18,236 Hello. I'm Dr. Joyce Brothers. 27 00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:20,137 And this is Tony. 28 00:02:20,205 --> 00:02:21,305 Hi, Tony. 29 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:22,474 And this is Alex. 30 00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:23,641 Well, hello there. 31 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:24,809 Nice to meet you, Alex. 32 00:02:24,877 --> 00:02:27,245 It is! It is! 33 00:02:27,312 --> 00:02:29,146 It's Dr. Joyce Brothers! 34 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,248 I got to thank you. 35 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,817 You helped me get through puberty. 36 00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:33,951 Dr. Brothers, sit down, please. 37 00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:35,220 I'd love to, thank you. 38 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:36,388 Join us. 39 00:02:36,455 --> 00:02:37,789 Latka loves you all so much. 40 00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:39,424 He wanted me to meet you. 41 00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,559 How did you come to treat Latka? 42 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,629 Well, I was on a phone-in talk show, and Latka called. 43 00:02:44,696 --> 00:02:46,831 Since I'd never treated his particular 44 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,399 dissociative personality disorder before, 45 00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:50,435 I offered to see him regularly. 46 00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:51,703 Huh. DR. BROTHERS: I am 47 00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:55,073 very confident that Latka has the situation under control. 48 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:56,608 All right, Latka. Way to go, Doc! Fantastic! 49 00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:58,042 Way to go! Oh, we're so grateful to you, Dr. Brothers. 50 00:02:58,110 --> 00:02:59,310 Well, thank you. 51 00:02:59,377 --> 00:03:01,512 Come on. I will show you where I work. 52 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:02,914 I'd love to see it. 53 00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:05,483 TONY: This is great. Sit down. 54 00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:09,955 (growling) 55 00:03:10,022 --> 00:03:11,222 DR. BROTHERS: I'd best be going. 56 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,492 Latka, you have my telephone number. 57 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,328 Use it whenever you want to speak to me. 58 00:03:17,395 --> 00:03:18,062 Nice meeting all of you. 59 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,363 ELAINE: Nice to see you. Yeah. 60 00:03:19,431 --> 00:03:20,364 LATKA: Bye-bye. 61 00:03:20,432 --> 00:03:21,499 ALEX: Dr. Brothers. 62 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,583 Dr. Joyce Brothers? 63 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:40,985 That's right. 64 00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:42,153 Whoo! 65 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,587 (clears throat) 66 00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:46,357 I have a question to ask you. 67 00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:48,326 What is it? 68 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:53,130 Are you visiting the garage, 69 00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:56,801 or am I on The Merv Griffin show? 70 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,673 We're in the garage. 71 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,208 That's too bad. 72 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:06,278 'Cause I have a story 73 00:04:06,345 --> 00:04:09,046 that Merv would've loved. 74 00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,555 Oh, Latka, it's so good 75 00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:19,256 to have you back with us full time. 76 00:04:19,324 --> 00:04:20,424 Yeah. Latka. 77 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,592 Come on, sit down. 78 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,961 TONY: Latka! 79 00:04:23,028 --> 00:04:26,431 You know, eh, Dr. Brothers told me it's okay now. 80 00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:28,566 I can lead a normal life, 81 00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:32,303 and, uh, I can go to the job, and I can make new friends. 82 00:04:33,672 --> 00:04:35,607 As a matter of fact, 83 00:04:35,674 --> 00:04:39,343 I am going to ask Simka to marry me. 84 00:04:39,411 --> 00:04:40,412 Yeah! Yeah! That's wonderful. 85 00:04:40,479 --> 00:04:42,113 I love her. She... 86 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,714 ELAINE: Ooh, now, wait a minute. 87 00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:46,017 How come you don't look happier? 88 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:48,019 Because I am not American, 89 00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:50,755 where the wedding is nothing but a celebration 90 00:04:50,822 --> 00:04:53,624 for two people to being together. 91 00:04:53,692 --> 00:04:55,927 Simka and I are orthodox. 92 00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:58,829 By tradition, demands 93 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,332 that we go through from the proposal 94 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,467 to the last moment of the ceremony-- 95 00:05:03,535 --> 00:05:05,637 we have to go through a series of tests. 96 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,872 And if we fail even 97 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,475 one test, we never to be married. 98 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,210 TONY: You're kidding. So, why do you guys 99 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,245 put up with this? LATKA: Well, because 100 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:17,115 in my country, there is a belief, and rightly so, 101 00:05:17,182 --> 00:05:19,550 that the only thing that separates us 102 00:05:19,618 --> 00:05:22,153 from the animals are mindless superstition 103 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:23,955 and pointless rituals. 104 00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:30,595 Well, I don't care what you say, Latka. 105 00:05:30,662 --> 00:05:32,830 I think it's great you're getting married. 106 00:05:32,898 --> 00:05:34,165 Yeah. Me, too. Me, too. Yeah! Great. It's great. 107 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,199 ELAINE: Fantastic. 108 00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:37,368 Good. Then you can be my Gewirtzal. 109 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,803 Your Gewirtzal? Yes. 110 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,738 I'd be proud to be your Gewirtzal. 111 00:05:40,806 --> 00:05:42,606 What is that? Like a best man? 112 00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:44,842 No, it is the one who has to propose for me. 113 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,177 Oh. 114 00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:49,047 Usually it's an old hag or a leper or the village idiot. 115 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:51,115 But you'll do in a pinch. 116 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,093 Latka, I just hope I remember everything. 117 00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:04,762 I mean, I had to learn a lot of, uh, 118 00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,998 ancient ritual in just one week. 119 00:06:07,032 --> 00:06:08,599 Hmm. Don't worry. 120 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,468 You'll be fine. 121 00:06:10,535 --> 00:06:12,603 Once Simka knows that you are proposing, 122 00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:15,640 she will know what to do, and she will help you. 123 00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:16,774 Yeah, I hope so. (knocking) 124 00:06:16,841 --> 00:06:18,008 Hey, wait a minute. 125 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:19,243 She's early, isn't she? 126 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:20,545 That's early, isn't it? 127 00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:21,845 Yes. 128 00:06:21,913 --> 00:06:25,116 Uh, listen, Latka, uh... I, uh... 129 00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,851 Good luck, uh, to both of us. 130 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,327 Hello, Latka. 131 00:06:40,532 --> 00:06:43,067 I'm ready for our date. 132 00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:45,002 Hello, Simka. 133 00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:49,340 I have a special surprise for you. 134 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,142 Oh, boy. What is it? 135 00:06:51,209 --> 00:06:53,077 I will show it to you now. 136 00:06:53,145 --> 00:06:54,979 Oh, goody. 137 00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:58,783 (clears throat) 138 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,319 That's it? 139 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,821 You're just going to grepse at me? 140 00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:07,391 (banging, bells jingling) 141 00:07:26,778 --> 00:07:30,214 Uh... iska bedesko, iska bedasko. 142 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,585 (sighs) 143 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,321 (speaking native language) 144 00:07:47,599 --> 00:07:51,735 (yelling) 145 00:07:53,772 --> 00:07:56,974 Bushky, bushky. 146 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,743 Da. 147 00:08:02,214 --> 00:08:03,514 Oh. 148 00:08:05,817 --> 00:08:08,452 Oh. 149 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,422 Yiskuk. Yiskuk. 150 00:08:11,489 --> 00:08:13,424 Yis... kuk! 151 00:08:16,795 --> 00:08:19,763 Uh... Uh, Simka, I, uh... 152 00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:21,098 I-I really don't know your language, 153 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,401 so, uh, I'm gonna have to do the rest in English. 154 00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:24,701 Is that all right? 155 00:08:24,769 --> 00:08:26,070 Oh, that's okay. 156 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,205 You do it in any language you want. 157 00:08:28,273 --> 00:08:30,341 I'm just glad you're not a leper. 158 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,684 There is our fine young prince. 159 00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:41,819 You have to sing it. 160 00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:43,320 Sing it? I can't sing it. 161 00:08:43,388 --> 00:08:45,489 You have to. You have to do it beautiful, 162 00:08:45,557 --> 00:08:46,690 or else she won't accept. 163 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,126 I can't sing. You have to. 164 00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:49,593 I can't! Sing it. 165 00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:55,466 ALEX: Oy... 166 00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,268 (whimpering) 167 00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:04,175 ¶ There is a fine young prince ¶ 168 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:08,412 ¶ He has mounted Cossacks... ¶ 169 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,081 I am going to die a bachelor. 170 00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:14,752 Oh, Simka, Simka, listen to me. 171 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,254 Latka is the... is... 172 00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:17,755 He's the hardest-working, most sincere, 173 00:09:17,822 --> 00:09:19,457 most loving man I've ever met. 174 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:21,292 Have you ever noticed how his face lights up 175 00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:22,794 just when you walk in a room? 176 00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:26,063 If-If you marry Latka, 177 00:09:26,131 --> 00:09:28,633 your lives will be very happy, because you love each other, 178 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,234 and you're both sweet, wonderful people. 179 00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:32,937 And he'll be devoted to you for the rest of your life. 180 00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:34,138 Simka, 181 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,373 I've never met two people 182 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,875 more suited to each other than you and Latka. 183 00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:39,710 What do you say? 184 00:09:39,778 --> 00:09:41,145 What do you say? 185 00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:57,861 You... You have grabbed the nose of the Gewirtzal 186 00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:01,432 and made me the happiest man alive. 187 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,570 And you? 188 00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,572 Of course. 189 00:10:16,448 --> 00:10:17,448 (knocking at door) 190 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:18,883 Oh. Continue to wait. 191 00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:21,285 SIMKA: Okay. 192 00:10:21,353 --> 00:10:23,488 Mama, you will give us your blessing tonight, 193 00:10:23,555 --> 00:10:24,722 won't you? 194 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,125 Latka, you know better. 195 00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:29,260 It all depends on how she reacts 196 00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:31,129 when I tell her the murzik. 197 00:10:31,196 --> 00:10:32,630 You are still waiting? 198 00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:33,998 SIMKA: You betcha. 199 00:10:34,065 --> 00:10:35,566 Ah. 200 00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,501 Latka, go now. 201 00:10:37,569 --> 00:10:40,104 You know, no man has ever been allowed 202 00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,506 to hear what I'm about to tell her. 203 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,578 Hmm. 204 00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,229 Simka Dahblitz? 205 00:11:06,297 --> 00:11:09,032 Greta Gravas? 206 00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:23,347 So, you want to marry my Latka? 207 00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:25,383 Yes, Mrs. Gravas. 208 00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:28,151 Oh, I love him! 209 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:29,453 Love. (laughs) 210 00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:31,522 Mrs. Gravas, 211 00:11:31,589 --> 00:11:34,892 I want so much to marry Latka, 212 00:11:34,959 --> 00:11:36,794 and I want 213 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:40,931 so much to hear the wisdom of my culture. 214 00:11:40,999 --> 00:11:44,101 Please, tell me the murzik. 215 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,738 Listen carefully to me, my child. 216 00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:51,509 I will tell you the murzik. 217 00:11:54,179 --> 00:11:59,283 Men are nothing but lazy lumps of drunken flesh. 218 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:06,423 They crowd you in bed, get you all worked up, 219 00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:08,793 and then before you can say, "Is that all there is?" 220 00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,961 that's all there is. 221 00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:16,033 They pass out smokes 222 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,703 when you are still whimpering from pain of delivery. 223 00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:24,475 Your flaxen hair will become like dead grass, 224 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:27,644 and your once firm breasts 225 00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,713 will fall to the floor. 226 00:12:36,921 --> 00:12:38,989 Thank you. 227 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:45,463 I will store that away. 228 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:49,833 Do you still want to marry my son Latka? 229 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,704 Almost more than ever. 230 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:55,572 Very well. 231 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:58,676 But before I can give you my blessing 232 00:12:58,743 --> 00:13:01,679 to marry my beloved son, 233 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,749 you must first kiss your mother-in-law 234 00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:06,416 on the cheek. 235 00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:08,319 Okay. 236 00:13:17,629 --> 00:13:18,495 (grunts) 237 00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:21,965 (sighs) 238 00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,772 You cannot walk on my son's furniture. 239 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:39,050 (sighs) 240 00:13:39,117 --> 00:13:41,152 You won't bend? 241 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,322 Mothers-in-law are forbidden 242 00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:47,424 by tradition to bend. 243 00:13:51,196 --> 00:13:52,196 (groans) 244 00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:57,134 (traditional music plays) 245 00:14:00,138 --> 00:14:02,373 This place certainly looks more cheerful. 246 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,041 I hardly recognize it. 247 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:05,175 Yeah, well I do. 248 00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:08,178 Be it ever so humble, there's no place like hell. 249 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,881 A sense of humor can cushion you 250 00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:13,751 from the harsh realities of life. 251 00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:16,720 It can also make you seem like a real bummer. 252 00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,755 Don't take me seriously. 253 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,358 I'm flirting with you. 254 00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:21,525 Oh. 255 00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:23,394 Of course, I'm happily married, 256 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:26,897 but an innocent flirtation can be harmless and pleasant, 257 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:29,766 and can reinforce our sexual identities. 258 00:14:33,271 --> 00:14:37,040 She's fun when she lets her hair down, isn't she? 259 00:14:37,075 --> 00:14:38,775 Hey, I can't believe it. 260 00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:40,044 After all the problems, 261 00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:41,879 Latka and Simka are finally gonna get married. 262 00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,881 What a great day this must be for them, huh? 263 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:44,915 ALEX: Yeah. Geez. 264 00:14:44,983 --> 00:14:46,183 (women crying) Salud. 265 00:14:49,554 --> 00:14:50,888 Oh, my gosh. 266 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,890 Excuse me, can I ask you a question? Certainly. 267 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,059 Well, why are those women so unhappy? 268 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,695 Oh, they are lamenting the bride's future 269 00:14:57,762 --> 00:15:00,363 as slave to her husband 270 00:15:00,431 --> 00:15:03,300 and the groom's burden of family responsibility 271 00:15:03,368 --> 00:15:05,368 which will eventually crush him. 272 00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,074 You must be Latka's American friends. Mm-hmm. 273 00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:12,809 Yes. I am Mascha from Latka's country. 274 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,144 Hey, Masch, how are ya? 275 00:15:14,212 --> 00:15:15,746 Nice to meet ya. 276 00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:17,414 What about your accent? 277 00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:18,582 Oh, I live in London 278 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:21,585 where I work as a weatherman for the BBC. 279 00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:24,521 I'll be translating the ceremony. 280 00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:25,656 Do you have any questions? 281 00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:26,924 Uh, I can't think of any. 282 00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:29,226 What about "What is the most unusual thing 283 00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:30,661 about our ceremony?" 284 00:15:30,728 --> 00:15:31,895 Well, that's a good one. 285 00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:33,864 The most unusual thing is 286 00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:36,733 that it is rather a test than a ceremony. 287 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:38,735 Um, if the bride and groom fail 288 00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:40,905 to answer any of the key questions, 289 00:15:40,972 --> 00:15:42,606 they can never be married. 290 00:15:42,674 --> 00:15:44,541 ALEX: Hmm. Well, thanks for asking. 291 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:49,313 (man shouting) 292 00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:52,149 Aha, the priest is ready. 293 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,152 Would everybody please be seated? 294 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,726 Let the wedding of Latka and Simka begin. 295 00:16:03,695 --> 00:16:06,830 The Honorable H.L. Gorki presiding. 296 00:16:06,898 --> 00:16:09,633 (accordion plays traditional tune) 297 00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:25,983 And now the bride. 298 00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,784 ¶ 299 00:16:30,288 --> 00:16:33,757 Oh, she looks so beautiful in her costume. 300 00:16:33,825 --> 00:16:35,759 You're not gonna cry. 301 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:38,261 I don't think I can help it, Alex. 302 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,898 MASCHA: To truly understand the feelings 303 00:16:40,965 --> 00:16:42,800 and emotions of their mate, 304 00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:44,802 the bride and groom must marry 305 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,671 in each other's clothes. 306 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,407 And now the groom. 307 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,476 ¶ 308 00:17:03,054 --> 00:17:05,856 You don't know how long I have waited 309 00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,859 to see you in your father's wedding dress. 310 00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:25,075 The priest... 311 00:17:25,142 --> 00:17:28,145 will now place a crown of rue 312 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,648 on the bride's head. 313 00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:32,883 If she can walk amongst us 314 00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:34,184 without it falling, 315 00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,152 she will be proven a virgin, 316 00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:39,189 and the ceremony may continue. 317 00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,710 My beloved family and friends... 318 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:03,814 this was just a horrible accident. 319 00:18:03,881 --> 00:18:06,549 You must believe 320 00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:08,551 that never have I, 321 00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:12,055 this innocent, untried girl, 322 00:18:12,123 --> 00:18:14,557 ever been with a man. 323 00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:18,795 Never have I felt a man's warm, 324 00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:22,299 moist lips pressing 325 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,802 against my waiting mouth. 326 00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:28,805 Nor have I felt the hot flesh 327 00:18:28,873 --> 00:18:31,808 of a lover... 328 00:18:31,876 --> 00:18:34,144 turning at night, 329 00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:39,049 his muscular arm resting against my stomach, 330 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:41,485 my breath coming quick, 331 00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:45,189 senses heightened, 332 00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:47,157 the air humid... 333 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,692 Simka! 334 00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,727 Simka! 335 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,732 Oh. 336 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,669 I'm finished. 337 00:18:58,736 --> 00:19:00,503 (priest speaking native language) 338 00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:04,174 (sneezing) 339 00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:08,979 The priest has given his blessing... 340 00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:12,282 ...and has signaled 341 00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:14,751 for the ritual of questions to begin. 342 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,052 Abee. 343 00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:18,121 Question number one. 344 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:21,124 (speaking native language) 345 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,126 Who is it who is not your brother... 346 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,128 (speaking native language) 347 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:27,531 ...yet he is your father's son? 348 00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:31,535 (speaking native language) 349 00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:36,006 (speaking native language) 350 00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:37,207 It is me. 351 00:19:37,274 --> 00:19:38,876 Ibbida. That is right! 352 00:19:38,943 --> 00:19:41,211 (cheering and applause) 353 00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:42,379 (priest speaking native language) 354 00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:44,348 MASCHA: Number two. 355 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:46,116 (speaking native language) 356 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,451 MASCHA: What is the greatest gift 357 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,587 one person can give to another? 358 00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:52,255 (speaking native language) 359 00:19:52,323 --> 00:19:55,124 She said $5,100. 360 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:56,292 (all sighing) 361 00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:58,028 (speaking native language) 362 00:19:58,129 --> 00:19:59,329 Ibbida. 363 00:19:59,397 --> 00:20:02,032 MASCHA: That is right. 364 00:20:02,099 --> 00:20:03,500 (cheering and applause) 365 00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,673 (speaking native language) 366 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,675 You now have two right. 367 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,176 (speaking native language) 368 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,645 Get this next one right... 369 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:15,879 (priest speaking native language) 370 00:20:15,947 --> 00:20:18,015 ...and I can pronounce you man and wife. 371 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,416 (speaking native language) 372 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:22,852 And the joyful dance of the plumitz will begin. 373 00:20:24,889 --> 00:20:26,490 Latka! 374 00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:28,492 Latka! 375 00:20:38,636 --> 00:20:40,570 Latka! 376 00:20:47,144 --> 00:20:49,413 (speaking native language) 377 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,615 There is a beautiful baby. 378 00:20:51,682 --> 00:20:52,582 (priest speaking native language) 379 00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:53,950 MASCHA: And there is Simka. 380 00:20:54,018 --> 00:20:56,520 (speaking native language) 381 00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:57,987 (speaking native language) 382 00:20:58,056 --> 00:20:59,523 (speaking native language) 383 00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:02,526 A wild boar is charging. 384 00:21:02,593 --> 00:21:05,195 (speaking native language) 385 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,696 You can save only one. 386 00:21:06,764 --> 00:21:07,697 (speaking native language) 387 00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:08,965 Who do you save? 388 00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:11,801 (whispering) 389 00:21:11,869 --> 00:21:13,036 The kid. 390 00:21:13,104 --> 00:21:14,504 (overlapping chatter) LOUIE: Yourself! 391 00:21:14,572 --> 00:21:18,408 (clamoring) 392 00:21:18,476 --> 00:21:20,611 Latka? 393 00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:22,512 (clamoring stops) 394 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,514 Uh... 395 00:21:24,582 --> 00:21:26,516 (speaking native language) 396 00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:27,850 ...Simka. 397 00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:30,621 (speaking native language) 398 00:21:31,656 --> 00:21:34,992 (priest speaking native language) 399 00:21:39,063 --> 00:21:40,764 That was the wrong answer. 400 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,365 You have failed the test. 401 00:21:42,433 --> 00:21:43,934 There will be no wedding. 402 00:21:44,001 --> 00:21:45,936 Grechnipa. Good-bye. 403 00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,272 (all moaning) 404 00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:52,509 Wait! I will not allow this! 405 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:58,448 What do some ancient questions have to do 406 00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:01,284 with two people who love each other? 407 00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:06,123 Latka's my life. 408 00:22:07,591 --> 00:22:10,527 If you will not marry us, 409 00:22:10,594 --> 00:22:13,530 then we will marry someplace else. 410 00:22:14,732 --> 00:22:17,400 We must be together. 411 00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:19,202 (whispering) 412 00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:23,807 (speaking native language) 413 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:27,010 That is exactly what the priest wanted to hear. 414 00:22:27,845 --> 00:22:29,613 (priest speaking native language) 415 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:32,683 MASCHA: That was the final test. 416 00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:34,117 (speaking native language) 417 00:22:34,185 --> 00:22:35,618 One of them had to stand up 418 00:22:35,686 --> 00:22:36,886 and demand to be married. 419 00:22:41,492 --> 00:22:44,328 Latka, Simka... 420 00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:50,333 (speaking native language) 421 00:22:50,401 --> 00:22:52,435 May the stars shine upon you. 422 00:22:52,470 --> 00:22:54,037 (priest speaking native language) 423 00:22:54,105 --> 00:22:56,039 And grant you many children. 424 00:22:56,107 --> 00:22:57,708 (priest speaking native language) 425 00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,043 You are now husband and wife. 426 00:23:00,111 --> 00:23:01,578 (all cheering) 427 00:23:01,679 --> 00:23:03,413 PRIEST: Plumitz! 428 00:23:03,481 --> 00:23:06,116 Plumitz, plumitz, plumitz! 429 00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:07,917 (sprightly accordion tune plays) 430 00:23:11,689 --> 00:23:13,623 (rhythmic clapping) 431 00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:29,606 (theme song playing) 432 00:23:53,531 --> 00:23:54,765 WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters! 433 00:23:54,832 --> 00:23:55,832 (man grumbling) 29776

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