Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:04,736
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:26,217
So, what are you gonna do
about your problem, Reiger?
3
00:01:26,285 --> 00:01:27,352
What?
4
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,920
What are you talking about,
my problem?
5
00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:31,956
Latka's girlfriend
is coming back.
6
00:01:32,024 --> 00:01:33,591
Who else is gonna tell her
7
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:36,895
that he's become
the Three Faces of Weird?
8
00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:39,431
You know, Louie,
Louie, even for you,
9
00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:41,666
there's gotta be a more
sensitive and caring way
10
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,201
to refer to someone
who suffers
11
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,969
from multiple personality.
12
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:47,605
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13
00:01:47,673 --> 00:01:50,141
I was talking
about the gentleman
14
00:01:50,209 --> 00:01:51,676
who suffers from...
15
00:01:51,743 --> 00:01:54,012
(babbling)
16
00:01:56,181 --> 00:01:58,683
ALEX:
Latka...
17
00:01:58,717 --> 00:02:00,485
how many times
have you shaved today?
18
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:04,923
Eh, twice on my face
and once on my back.
19
00:02:04,990 --> 00:02:08,159
I want to look good for Simka.
20
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:09,527
(clears throat)
21
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:12,363
Have you, uh,
a girlfriend, Latka?
22
00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:14,699
Oh, yeah, she's a girl
from Latka's country.
23
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,167
And when she first
came to America,
24
00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:18,536
she and Latka were dating
each other for a while.
25
00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:20,505
Yeah, then I let her slip away.
26
00:02:20,572 --> 00:02:22,640
Boy, what a fool I was.
27
00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:25,943
I'm sorry that she left
before I told her I love her.
28
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:27,812
Latka, are you gonna
tell her you love her now?
29
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,147
I will not make
30
00:02:29,248 --> 00:02:30,815
the same mistake again.
Good.
31
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,817
She is the girl for me
in the whole world.
32
00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:34,019
Good, good.
33
00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:36,054
Yeah, excuse me, Elaine.
34
00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:39,290
I'm sorry, but she's better
than American women.
35
00:02:39,358 --> 00:02:41,626
I don't even like
American women.
36
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:43,428
I have a good reason, too.
37
00:02:43,562 --> 00:02:44,796
What's that?
38
00:02:44,897 --> 00:02:46,631
They don't give me
the time of day.
39
00:02:46,698 --> 00:02:48,199
Oh.
40
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:50,401
Latka, you know,
you ought to get rid
41
00:02:50,469 --> 00:02:52,537
of all that tissue paper
on your face.
42
00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:56,107
You know, what you need to use
is a styptic pencil instead.
43
00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:57,208
Styptic pencil?
44
00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:58,376
Styptic pencil.
45
00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,411
Where will I find one?
46
00:02:59,511 --> 00:03:01,813
Here, use mine.
47
00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:04,082
No, no, no, Jim, Jim, Jim!
48
00:03:04,149 --> 00:03:06,117
He needs a styptic
pencil, not--
49
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,619
By golly, that's
a styptic pencil.
50
00:03:08,687 --> 00:03:10,654
I will try it.
51
00:03:10,722 --> 00:03:13,758
Why are you carrying a
styptic pencil in your ear?
52
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,228
Well, in light of
what just happened,
53
00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:18,896
a better question is,
"Why aren't you?"
54
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:26,103
Hey!
55
00:03:26,171 --> 00:03:28,339
Hey!
Oh!
56
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,341
Is-Is Latka here?
57
00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:32,543
Oh, yeah, and he's
dying to see you.
Mm-hmm!
58
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,878
Yeah, yeah, he'll be right out.
59
00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:37,515
Oh, it is good
to hear you say that.
60
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,984
I miss him.
61
00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:43,788
I've not had too much
luck with men lately.
Oh?
62
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:47,359
Elaine, you know
what it feels like
63
00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:51,129
to be used,
taken advantage of
64
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,266
and then thrown away
like an old shoe?
65
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,669
Does she.
66
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:04,242
Simka.
67
00:04:04,343 --> 00:04:06,945
Latka.
68
00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:09,547
Simka.
69
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,024
Well, are you going
to just stand there?
70
00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:22,226
Oh.
71
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,364
(speaking native language)
72
00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,234
Oh, oh, Latka, Latka,
73
00:04:30,302 --> 00:04:33,538
we can speak English now.
74
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:38,142
I feel very comfortable in
that tongue, you bet, Joe!
75
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,478
You are looking very well.
76
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,280
Oh, I cannot complain.
77
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:46,384
You are looking well also.
78
00:04:46,451 --> 00:04:48,452
Are you available
for getting together?
79
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,790
Yes, you may call me
for social engagements.
80
00:04:52,858 --> 00:04:56,427
Whew! This is just like
in Body Heat.
81
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,629
SIMKA:
Latka,
82
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:01,132
Latka, let's have lunch.
83
00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:04,102
Okay, but let me just
grab a quick shave.
84
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,104
Okay.
85
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,779
Oh, is same sweet man.
86
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,547
Yeah, well, listen, I,
uh, I'll be going along.
87
00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:17,982
So long.
88
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:18,883
(bell dings)
89
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,451
Calling Dr. Reiger.
90
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:23,053
(ringing bell)
Oh, Dr. Reiger?
91
00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:26,624
Uh, Simka, Simka, can I
talk to you for a second?
92
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,693
Over here, please?
Yes, excuse me.
93
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,462
Uh, Simka, uh...
94
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,931
I think there's something
you have to know about Latka.
95
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:35,266
Oh, no...
No, no, no,
96
00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:36,501
there's nothing to
be alarmed about.
97
00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:38,703
Believe me, nothing.
Sit down, please.
98
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:43,141
Look, Latka has
what doctors call,
99
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,443
uh, multiple personality.
100
00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:48,513
You see, sometimes, uh,
101
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:50,748
and he's not even
aware he's doing it,
102
00:05:50,816 --> 00:05:54,052
he totally becomes
another person.
103
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:59,190
I mean, his walk, his talk
becomes totally different.
104
00:05:59,257 --> 00:06:02,393
You understand?
105
00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:04,395
Yes, he's kookiputz.
106
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:11,802
(man sings "Love Me Tender"
in Latka's language)
107
00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:23,415
(knocking on door)
108
00:06:23,482 --> 00:06:25,784
Just a minute.
109
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:31,322
(volume decreases)
110
00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:39,631
Hello, Simka.
111
00:06:39,698 --> 00:06:42,099
Hello, Latka.
112
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:43,501
Come in.
113
00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,379
Take it for you.
114
00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:58,716
You are looking even more
gorgeous than normal for you.
115
00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:03,821
Well... you are not looking
so awful yourself.
116
00:07:07,526 --> 00:07:09,259
I hope you are hungry.
117
00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:10,929
I made something special.
118
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:13,264
Oh, I am! What is it?
119
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:15,065
Smell.
120
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,433
(sniffing)
121
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,836
Warthog!
122
00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:21,138
I think it's ready now.
123
00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:22,873
Oh, lovely.
124
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,944
And the salad.
125
00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:35,153
Mmm...
126
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:38,356
So, what would you like?
127
00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:41,125
Eh, would you like
something from the hoof
128
00:07:41,193 --> 00:07:44,963
or something
close to the tusk?
129
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:46,597
Both!
130
00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:49,367
That's what I love about you,
you eat like a swine.
131
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:52,570
Oh, you!
132
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:00,911
I hope you like it.
133
00:08:00,979 --> 00:08:02,280
Oh...
134
00:08:02,347 --> 00:08:03,581
You know,
it's hard to find
135
00:08:03,648 --> 00:08:06,417
self-basting warthog
in America.
136
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,720
It is perfect, Latka.
137
00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:11,422
Everything is perfect.
138
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:12,790
The flowers,
139
00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:16,194
the candles, the music.
140
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,628
Brethnees?
141
00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:21,599
Well, maybe just
a quick one.
142
00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:46,990
You know, Latka,
143
00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:51,228
I have had many lonely nights
144
00:08:51,296 --> 00:08:53,263
since I last saw you.
145
00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:56,501
Well, you know, it hasn't been
all brethnees and warthog
146
00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:58,702
for Mama Gravas's
little boy either.
147
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:01,605
That's why I was so glad
148
00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:03,641
that you wrote me when
you discovered that Omaha
149
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:07,044
was not all the
songs say it is.
150
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:10,815
Here is mud in your blifnik.
151
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:28,098
Simka, Simka,
152
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,800
I want to tell you something.
153
00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,302
Oh?
154
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,504
(clearing throat)
155
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:41,879
This is the best evening
I've had in a long time.
156
00:09:41,946 --> 00:09:44,782
I've dreamed about this
evening, and you.
157
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,484
And I just want
to tell you that...
158
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:55,926
What is it you want to say?
159
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:58,629
Well...
160
00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:01,065
I want to say that...
161
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:03,667
I...
162
00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:09,306
(sniffing)
163
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,942
(as Vic Ferrari):
What died in here?
164
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,811
Oh, my gosh!
165
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:16,080
Where am I?
166
00:10:16,147 --> 00:10:17,415
The Ramada Inn of Rumania?
167
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:18,850
(chuckling)
168
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,651
Latka?
169
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,019
Latka?
170
00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:25,256
Oh, boy, here we go again.
171
00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:28,359
No, honey, Vic-- Vic Ferrari.
172
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:29,794
And you?
173
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,229
Oh...
174
00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:36,300
Alex told me
something about this
175
00:10:36,368 --> 00:10:41,372
and darned if he wasn't right.
176
00:10:41,439 --> 00:10:44,075
I think, uh...
177
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,577
Maybe I better go.
178
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:49,113
Well, uh, that's your
decision, but one thing.
179
00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:51,015
Leave and I'll die.
180
00:10:54,753 --> 00:10:59,623
Well, I mean,
how can I... stay?
181
00:10:59,691 --> 00:11:02,460
I hardly even know you.
182
00:11:02,594 --> 00:11:04,595
Oh, well, but I know you.
183
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,196
I think I do.
184
00:11:06,264 --> 00:11:08,866
You're smart, independent
185
00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:10,534
and, uh...
186
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:12,669
You were a daddy's girl.
187
00:11:12,737 --> 00:11:13,837
Am I right?
188
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:17,775
Well...
189
00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:20,444
How would you know these things?
190
00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:24,748
I mean, Latka doesn't
know these things.
191
00:11:24,816 --> 00:11:26,917
It's in your eyes
when you look at a man.
192
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:30,020
(sighing):
Oh, brother.
193
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,397
What else?
194
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:42,400
(chuckles) Playful.
195
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:46,203
A little bold and, uh,
196
00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:48,573
you have my name tattooed
on your right thigh.
197
00:11:48,673 --> 00:11:50,508
Oh, I don't!
198
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:51,909
Hey, okay, the
evening's young.
199
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:59,717
You are very funny
this way, Latka.
200
00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:02,386
I mean, Vic.
201
00:12:02,454 --> 00:12:07,157
Would you chop me down
if I took a chance?
202
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:10,261
No, I will not chop you.
203
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,930
Okay, then here goes.
204
00:12:14,766 --> 00:12:17,234
I am completely taken by you
205
00:12:17,302 --> 00:12:18,802
and I want to love you.
206
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:24,408
Well, in my country,
there is only one thing
207
00:12:24,475 --> 00:12:26,576
a girl can say to that,
208
00:12:26,644 --> 00:12:29,579
which is one of the
reasons I left.
209
00:12:36,888 --> 00:12:39,457
I don't even know
your name.
210
00:12:39,524 --> 00:12:42,293
Simka Dahblitz.
211
00:12:43,661 --> 00:12:45,363
Hello, Simka.
212
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,968
Hello, Vic.
213
00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:12,190
(singing in native language)
214
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,466
LATKA:
Ah!
215
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,405
Babycakes!
216
00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:30,274
Simka?
217
00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:33,277
Oh... Latkacakes?
218
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:36,280
What's going on here?
219
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:38,282
Why are you still here?
220
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:41,285
What are you so
happy about?
221
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,321
You don't remember?
222
00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:45,590
No.
223
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:48,025
Well...
224
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:51,028
Oh, we had a wonderful time.
225
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,998
Oh, you were very funny,
226
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:57,001
and very charming,
227
00:13:57,069 --> 00:14:00,137
and you said your name was Vic.
228
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:01,205
Vic!
229
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:04,208
Ooh, that guy, Vic.
230
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:06,210
I am not Vic.
231
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:07,744
I don't even like Vic.
232
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:09,347
Listen, sit down, please.
233
00:14:09,414 --> 00:14:10,247
Tell me everything.
234
00:14:10,315 --> 00:14:13,217
What did you do with Vic
last night?
235
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:16,153
Are you sure you
want to know?
236
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,421
Yes.
237
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:20,391
Uh, of course, not if you think
it will destroy me.
238
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:26,063
Well, I don't know what to say.
239
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:27,731
Well, for instance,
you can say,
240
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:29,566
that you were up
all night with him,
241
00:14:29,634 --> 00:14:32,403
and you discussed, uh,
whether the Today show
242
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,405
is better
with Bryant Gumbel.
243
00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:39,176
I cannot say that.
244
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:40,978
I knew it.
245
00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:45,383
You made love with Vic!
246
00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:48,752
Well, I did, but...
247
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,954
You made love
with another man
248
00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:53,557
right under my nose!
249
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:58,262
Well, there was no other way.
250
00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:03,700
And besides, that was you.
251
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:05,536
Did I whimper?
252
00:15:05,603 --> 00:15:08,038
Was I... clumsy?
253
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:11,342
No, you were wonderful!
254
00:15:11,409 --> 00:15:13,476
Then it wasn't me.
255
00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:16,314
Latka, please.
256
00:15:16,381 --> 00:15:19,016
You have shamed me,
257
00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,151
degraded yourself,
258
00:15:21,252 --> 00:15:23,387
disgraced your family,
259
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:24,888
cheapened your people,
260
00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:26,890
and blemished your planet.
261
00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:33,030
That was not nice!
262
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,231
I'm going!
263
00:15:34,332 --> 00:15:35,566
Good. Go. Good-bye.
264
00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:36,600
I am going.
265
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,402
Good.
266
00:15:38,469 --> 00:15:39,703
Latka!
267
00:15:39,771 --> 00:15:42,673
I hate you and I never want
to see you again,
268
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:45,041
and thanks
for a wonderful night!
269
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,354
Latka.
270
00:15:57,422 --> 00:15:59,389
Latka.
271
00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:02,392
Latka, you've been under
that cab all day.
272
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,560
Now come on.
273
00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:05,228
Something's happened,
huh?
274
00:16:05,296 --> 00:16:07,230
Tell me about it.
275
00:16:07,298 --> 00:16:11,101
Well, Simka says
she found another man.
276
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:14,071
Oh... Latka.
277
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:16,073
Oh...
278
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,908
I can't tell you
how many times
279
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,910
I've had something
like that happen.
280
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,845
Talk to me.
281
00:16:21,913 --> 00:16:22,980
Okay.
282
00:16:23,047 --> 00:16:25,883
She says the other man
was Vic.
283
00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:27,885
Talk to Alex.
284
00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:33,758
Latka, Latka,
let's have--
285
00:16:33,825 --> 00:16:35,092
let's get a cup
of coffee.
No.
286
00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:36,594
Come on, come on, let's
get a cup of coffee.
287
00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:38,429
I don't want to.
Come on, Latka,
288
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,397
let's get a cup
of coffee.
289
00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:42,366
No.
290
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,435
Latka...
291
00:16:46,370 --> 00:16:48,872
...I can't believe that a girl
like Simka would, uh--
292
00:16:48,939 --> 00:16:51,142
could possibly prefer Vic
to you.
293
00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:52,309
Oh yeah?
294
00:16:52,377 --> 00:16:53,911
Well, look what I found
in the pockets
295
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:56,947
of his fancy sports coat.
296
00:16:56,981 --> 00:16:59,015
Airline tickets to Bermuda?
297
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,184
Yeah,
298
00:17:00,251 --> 00:17:01,552
he's taking her away.
299
00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:03,154
Oh, Latka, just 'cause
he has tickets
300
00:17:03,221 --> 00:17:04,922
doesn't mean she's going.
301
00:17:04,989 --> 00:17:05,756
Oh, yeah?
302
00:17:05,823 --> 00:17:07,291
Look what I found in the pockets
303
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,493
of his velour smoking jacket.
304
00:17:11,329 --> 00:17:13,163
"The trip sounds okay to me.
305
00:17:13,231 --> 00:17:15,999
"I will be at your place tonight
promptly at 7:00-ish.
306
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,735
Signed Simka."
307
00:17:17,802 --> 00:17:18,935
See?
308
00:17:19,003 --> 00:17:20,770
Vic has more fun in his pockets
309
00:17:20,838 --> 00:17:22,773
than I have in my whole life.
310
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,711
Okay, Latka, look,
maybe Simka prefers Vic,
311
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:30,981
but I know there are
a lot of women
312
00:17:31,015 --> 00:17:33,817
who are going to prefer your
sweet little innocent qualities.
313
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:34,851
Oh, really?
Yeah.
314
00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:36,120
Where are they?
I don't know.
315
00:17:36,187 --> 00:17:37,454
I've asked all
of them.
316
00:17:37,522 --> 00:17:39,723
Look, women don't like
timid, weak men
317
00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:41,325
half as much as
they should.
318
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:46,730
Well, Latka,
319
00:17:46,764 --> 00:17:48,065
is that what you're
gonna do?
320
00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:49,232
Huh?
321
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,935
You're gonna just sit
there and mope?
322
00:17:51,035 --> 00:17:53,670
No, I'm going to whine
and snivel.
323
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:56,907
Okay, fine, terrific.
324
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:57,975
You lost her.
325
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,477
Give up.
326
00:17:59,544 --> 00:18:01,512
Why don't you stop thinking
of yourself for a moment?
327
00:18:01,579 --> 00:18:03,047
Why don't you start
thinking of Simka?
328
00:18:03,114 --> 00:18:06,050
You gonna let her go out
with a guy like Vic?
329
00:18:06,117 --> 00:18:07,718
Ah.
330
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:10,821
Hey, wait a minute.
331
00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,022
Wait a minute!
332
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:15,058
Latka, you're
responsible.
333
00:18:16,561 --> 00:18:18,495
You got them together!
334
00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:20,464
They met through you.
335
00:18:20,531 --> 00:18:21,899
Wait a minute.
336
00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:23,366
You are right.
337
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:25,535
I am responsible.
338
00:18:25,603 --> 00:18:29,573
Yes, I-I have to save her
from that two-bit bossa nova.
339
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:31,408
All right!
340
00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:33,410
Oh, I am going to go.
341
00:18:34,712 --> 00:18:36,647
And-And if he won't listen
to good manners,
342
00:18:36,714 --> 00:18:38,649
I'm going to have to get rough.
343
00:18:38,716 --> 00:18:41,351
I would hate to be
in his shoes.
344
00:18:48,526 --> 00:18:50,527
(knocking on door)
345
00:18:58,436 --> 00:19:00,871
Hello, Simka.
346
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,940
Hello, Latka.
347
00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:05,909
You were expecting someone else?
348
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,911
Maybe someone smooth?
349
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,249
May I enter your house
350
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,251
and sit down on
something?
351
00:19:14,318 --> 00:19:16,286
Yes, that would be pleasant.
352
00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:28,766
There is something
very important
353
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,267
I want to tell you.
354
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,269
Okay, first of all,
355
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,105
I am sorry that I got mad
at you the other day.
356
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:37,941
That's okay, Latka.
357
00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:40,944
I accept your sorriness.
358
00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:42,346
Thank you.
359
00:19:42,413 --> 00:19:44,215
Second of all,
360
00:19:44,282 --> 00:19:45,716
you cannot see Vic anymore.
361
00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:48,785
He is a terrible,
awful person.
362
00:19:48,853 --> 00:19:50,954
At least he is happy with me.
363
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:52,756
He has a lot more
to be happy about.
364
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,430
There is one other thing
I want you to know.
365
00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:02,065
Ever since you have come back,
366
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:04,067
I don't know what I'm doing.
367
00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:06,903
I cannot sleep, I cannot eat,
368
00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:09,106
and my work is suffering.
369
00:20:09,173 --> 00:20:11,442
Men have gone to almost
certain injury
370
00:20:11,509 --> 00:20:13,444
in the cabs.
371
00:20:13,511 --> 00:20:15,211
So, please,
372
00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:17,915
don't-don't go to Bermuda
with Vic,
373
00:20:17,982 --> 00:20:21,218
because...
374
00:20:21,252 --> 00:20:24,355
Because what, Latka?
375
00:20:24,422 --> 00:20:26,624
Well, because--
376
00:20:26,691 --> 00:20:28,792
oh, I-I don't know
how to say it.
377
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,527
Uh, uh,
378
00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:32,496
well, you know...
379
00:20:34,599 --> 00:20:37,333
...I...
380
00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:42,439
(as Vic): Simka, baby!
381
00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:43,973
Oh no, not Vic.
382
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:46,643
I want to hear what Latka wants
to tell me.
383
00:20:46,711 --> 00:20:48,311
I'm listening, Latka.
384
00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:50,747
Simka, it's so good
to see you.
385
00:20:50,815 --> 00:20:52,883
You know,
this is crazy.
386
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:55,786
I just realized
how much I missed you.
387
00:20:55,853 --> 00:20:58,822
Now I know what it feels like
to really care.
388
00:20:58,889 --> 00:21:00,257
Oh, well. Hey, come on,
389
00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:02,025
we're missing valuable
sack time.
390
00:21:02,126 --> 00:21:03,894
Come on.
Oh!
391
00:21:05,129 --> 00:21:08,565
I think all you want is
physical pleasure.
392
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:10,066
Oh, come on now,
393
00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,902
why would I want something
like that?
394
00:21:11,969 --> 00:21:13,369
(chuckles)
395
00:21:15,473 --> 00:21:17,274
Latka,
396
00:21:17,341 --> 00:21:20,110
if you are in there...
397
00:21:20,177 --> 00:21:22,579
come back to me.
398
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:23,847
Please.
399
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,015
Yes, yes!
400
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,017
No, no.
401
00:21:28,419 --> 00:21:30,854
Come with me to Bermuda,
and good news,
402
00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:32,856
we're gonna fly...
403
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:35,592
business class.
404
00:21:35,659 --> 00:21:39,563
I don't want to go to
Bermuda anymore, Vic.
405
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,298
I want Latka.
406
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:44,734
Uh, there must be an acoustic
problem in here.
407
00:21:44,802 --> 00:21:47,737
Uh, I could have sworn I heard
you make kissing-off noises
408
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,439
to Captain Joy!
409
00:21:50,374 --> 00:21:53,576
Ya.
410
00:21:53,678 --> 00:21:56,747
Well, if that means I
want you to go away
411
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:59,883
so that Latka will
come back,
412
00:21:59,984 --> 00:22:03,754
then you're hitting nail with
your head, buddy boy!
413
00:22:05,389 --> 00:22:07,824
You know, I don't think you
realize what you're saying.
414
00:22:07,892 --> 00:22:09,526
Let me just explain
something to you.
415
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:12,028
If I walk out that door,
416
00:22:12,096 --> 00:22:14,598
I'm never coming back.
417
00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:22,606
(sighs)
418
00:22:22,673 --> 00:22:24,407
Bye, Vic.
419
00:22:34,485 --> 00:22:36,420
Okay.
420
00:22:36,487 --> 00:22:38,355
Okay.
421
00:22:39,557 --> 00:22:42,926
No tears, no bum feelings,
422
00:22:42,993 --> 00:22:45,863
no blame,
423
00:22:45,930 --> 00:22:47,698
no fault insurance.
424
00:22:48,632 --> 00:22:50,233
I'm just glad
425
00:22:50,301 --> 00:22:52,302
that I got to spend
a part of my life
426
00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:54,171
in part of your life.
427
00:22:54,238 --> 00:22:56,139
You blew it, baby.
428
00:22:56,206 --> 00:22:57,574
(clicks tongue)
429
00:22:57,641 --> 00:22:58,808
Pow.
430
00:23:11,589 --> 00:23:13,189
(as Latka):
That's right.
Get out of here.
431
00:23:13,257 --> 00:23:15,191
And if you ever come
near my woman again,
432
00:23:15,259 --> 00:23:17,126
I will call you a name!
433
00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:21,164
Simka, there is something
I want to tell you,
434
00:23:21,232 --> 00:23:22,332
right here and now,
435
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,802
and no, I'm not going
to beating on the bush.
436
00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:30,774
I...
437
00:23:30,841 --> 00:23:33,377
I love you!
438
00:23:33,444 --> 00:23:35,078
Good deal!
439
00:23:35,146 --> 00:23:37,080
Me, too!
440
00:23:42,353 --> 00:23:43,987
Vic?
441
00:23:44,054 --> 00:23:46,490
No, it is me.
442
00:23:46,557 --> 00:23:48,458
Wow, Latka!
443
00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:01,738
(theme song playing)
444
00:24:25,063 --> 00:24:26,296
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!
445
00:24:26,364 --> 00:24:27,664
(man grumbling)
27940
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
