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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,710 [ Static ] my dreams are all dead and buried 2 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:23,792 sometimes I wish the sun would just explode when God comes and calls me to 3 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,991 his kingdom I'll take all you sons of bitches 4 00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,464 Rusty: My turn. when I go Early: Hell no. 5 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,563 Rusty: Man, let me drive that thing! Come on! 6 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:38,895 Early: Do not touch the trim! [ Animals calling ] Rusty: Daddy, why do we got 7 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:43,436 to do this? Early: Winter's a-comin'. If we don't hunt, we don't eat. 8 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,744 Now, everybody, don your camo. 9 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:55,716 Now let's do this! [ Birds chirping ] All right, here we are. 10 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,963 Y'all slather me down with the scent. Granny: [ Gulps ] 11 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:02,959 Oh. So, this wasn't our lunch? Early: Damn it, we need that 12 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:06,773 sauce to hunt! How you expect us to sneak up on a whole field full o' apples if 13 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,937 we don't smell like 'em? Granny: Now, which ones are the apples? 14 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:13,967 Are them them red ones that naked bitch ate in the garden and ruined it for the rest of 15 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,614 us? Early: Shh! Shh! Shut your damn mouth now! 16 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:23,120 Gimme a boost. Apples, apples, apples! That's right, folks! 17 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:29,117 Feast your eyes on the wonder of a fruit that hangs from a branch and doesn't do much for many 18 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:36,703 months at a time! [ Indistinct talking ] Early: [ Grunting ] 19 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,867 What the hell? Rusty: Daddy, apple tour! Early: Ah, hell. 20 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:44,637 Freeze! [ Birds chirping ] Don't move. 21 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:48,968 Granny: Oh! [ Moaning ] No, no, I can't take it! 22 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,576 We're made! Rusty: Granny, no! [ Static ] 23 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:55,509 Code red -- three worms in sector six. Granny: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! 24 00:01:55,516 --> 00:02:00,486 Well, I'll be! This one here moves like she's on greased rails! 25 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:05,958 Early: Move very slowly. Over many months. Just like a tree. 26 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,730 Sheriff: All right, y'all, drop the pomaceous fruits and get down on the ground! 27 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:16,901 Early: Damn it! [ Both grunting ] I ain't gonna press charges, 28 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:21,774 sheriff, not if they're willing to help me out at my fall fair. Early: Oh, you want me to be 29 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:25,635 the emcee -- step up and run this whole thing?! Oh, you'll be runnin'. 30 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,076 Granny: Aah! Runnin' quite a bit, yes, sir. 31 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:32,053 [ Pigs snorting ] Early: What the h-- racin' pigs?! 32 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:40,032 Sweet! Now, who's ready to see them some pig racin'?! 33 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,727 [ Cheers and applause ] [ Pig snorts ] Early: I ain't racin' around 34 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,900 a damn dirt circle like some damn fool with -- [ Gunshot ] 35 00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:48,869 Rabbit! Rabbit! [ Indistinct shouting ] granny: Ohh! 36 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:52,699 Early: I want the rabbit! Rusty: Whoo-hoo! Imma win! Early: Don't you dare win! 37 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:58,006 [ Breathing heavily ] I need to win! Rusty: All right then. 38 00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:01,282 Early: Early cuyler [Breathes heavily] baby! Granny: Get that rabbit 39 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,582 quick! Get it, get it, get it! Early: W-what?! 40 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,724 Granny: Get that rabbit! Early: Nooo! Granny: Wait, where'd it go? 41 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,660 And the winner -- the small, uh, girl one. Granny: Yay! 42 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,888 Best guess. That's a woman, right? Granny: I guess the rabbit 43 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:17,134 went back in the hole! [ Gasps ] Six more weeks of summer! 44 00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:21,531 Rusty: Dang, granny, where'd you learn to run like that? Granny: Oh, the spirit just 45 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:25,735 come over me, I reckon. Also, I was being chased by imaginary mind bees. 46 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,539 Rusty: Did you see that, daddy? She blew right past you. 47 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,242 Early: What I seen was this here chest lump with glasses robbing me of my first-place 48 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:35,146 finish! I didn't have no imaginary bees to run with! 49 00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:38,949 Listen to that crowd! [ Cheers and applause ] They're really taking to 50 00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:42,893 granny hotfoot here! Early: Granny hotfoot?! Ha, I don't know if y'all 51 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,930 have what it takes to compete with this little octogenarian. Granny: Yay! 52 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:51,157 Early: Listen here, Early cuyler don't race for no man -- unless his pride is 53 00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:54,965 questioned and his rage clouds his ability to see his best interests! 54 00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,769 So he want hisself a rematch, damn it, right now! Granny: If you want a piece 55 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:02,242 of this, you're gonna have to pick up the pace, Alice. Early: Don't you get inside 56 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,583 my head! I'm the one who manipulates my mind! 57 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:08,148 Put 'em in the gates! Rusty: You want me to do like i done before and stop before 58 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:11,118 the finish line? Early: Yes, damn it! Granny: That'd be great, 59 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,688 dear. How's the weather back there?! Early: You see that Walker 60 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,059 she's got?! That's an unfair advantage! [ Grunts ] 61 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:21,688 Granny: One order of my dust comin' right up! Early: Oh, I can't win no 62 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:25,955 race in a damn Walker! Granny: Oh, Orson, she's beautiful! 63 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,826 Who is she now? [ Pig snorting ] Early: Yah! Yah! Get it on! 64 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,296 Yeah! Whoo! Granny: I'm just doing this for fun now! 65 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:35,535 Early: S-she bumped me! Did anybody see that?! My aerodynamic helmet weighs a 66 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:39,612 sumbitchin' ton! Granny: You still here? [ Cheers and applause ] 67 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:43,583 Here you go, chubby. You know, you should drop out of school and race pigs. 68 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:48,154 It's much easier, and you get laid a lot. What?! 69 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:53,255 I'm an athlete, not a role model! [ Pigs snorting ] 70 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:59,200 [ Both snorting, munching ] Granny: Mmm, mmm! Delicious! 71 00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:03,799 Early: Hey, that there is performance-enhancing burger meat -- essential cheese 72 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,314 vitamins! That bitch is dopin'! Ooh, granny hotfoot, looks 73 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:11,178 like we got us a whistle-blower here. Granny: This ain't nothing 74 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:14,178 but a witch-hunt. [ Slurps ] they after my title. Early: We ain't eating 75 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,351 nothin' in here except apple cores and pig shit! Rusty: Daddy, now, don't rock 76 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:20,291 the boat now. This stuff's pretty good. Early: I call for you to form 77 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,757 hamburger and taco testin' across the board! Granny: Okay, that's enough 78 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:27,327 of this, Oprah. This interview's over. I'll see your ass on the track. 79 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:31,898 Early: You sure as hell will! Granny: I'll say "hi" as I blow your damn doors off. 80 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:37,239 Early: Y-you don't get -- i-I get the damn last word, bitch! And that was it, what I just 81 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,197 said! Granny: Oh, yeah, that's great. 82 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,766 Oh, yeah! Granny: Mm, that's deep! [ Grunts ] 83 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:47,145 Granny: So deep! Yeah, you got cramping and tension all up and down you legs 84 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,917 and back. Can't seem to work this knot out. 85 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:54,747 Granny: Oh, I wouldn't kill yourself on that one. I think that's a brain tumor 86 00:05:54,755 --> 00:06:00,155 that migrated. Ticket sales are through the roof, my little purple champion! 87 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,360 [ Grunts ] Folks are comin' from as far away as ellijay to watch you run 88 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:08,895 in the mud against your firstborn. Granny: If he was any slower, 89 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,902 he'd be goin' backwards! [ Both laugh ] Early: Ooh, bitch. 90 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:15,805 Granny: You think I could get a refill on this appletini, love? 91 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:19,239 Okay, all right. [ Smack! ] Oh, quit! [ Laughs ] 92 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:23,746 Granny: Oh, I've banged gayer dudes than you. I'll set you straight in a 93 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,281 fortnight, honey. [ Sizzling ] Ooh, the hands! 94 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:30,086 Early: Yeah, we gonna do us some hot-oil therapy now. Granny: Oh, that sounds -- 95 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,320 wait, what?! Early: And a chemical face peel! 96 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:35,226 Granny: [ Gurgling ] Early: Straight on down to the bone! 97 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:38,029 Rusty: Daddy, don't! Early: [ Grunting ] You're right! 98 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:41,201 My damn arm's burning! Ohh! Rusty: Oh, my God, granny, are you okay?! 99 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,271 Granny: [ Moaning ] Early: Why?! Granny: Aah! 100 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,400 Early: Why are you makin' me do this?! Granny: Aah! 101 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,836 Early: Still why?! Granny: Aah! Early: I will never 102 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,111 understand why! Granny: Aah! Early: I tried to warn you! 103 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,910 Granny: Aah! Early: But this is what you get when you don't race fair! 104 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,383 Granny: Aah! Early: [ Breathing heavily ] Granny: [ Moaning ] 105 00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:59,252 Appletini a-co-- oh, granny hotfoot, what happened! [ Bat clatters ] 106 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:04,863 Early: Uh, she fell down the stairs I-into the fritter machine, which is here now and, 107 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:09,458 well, so am I. Uh, I-I just came here looking for the machine. 108 00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:15,773 Oh, uh, here it is. Looks like she fell in it. [ Cheers and applause ] 109 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,069 [ Feedback ] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to report granny hotfoot 110 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:23,312 won't be racing tonight. [ Spectators gasp ] Oh, uh, calm down now, folks! 111 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:27,780 We got animals dressed as movie stars, we sure do! Y'all like that, don't ya? 112 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:35,291 [ Cheers and applause ] First up to the starting line, please welcome squid rock! 113 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:40,859 [ Cheers and applause ] [ Pig snorting ] [ Rock music playing ] 114 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:47,331 Next up, he's the villain you love to hate! Straight from the sock hop, it's 115 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:53,244 inky tuscadero! [ Spectators booing ] Early: You want you some of 116 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:57,280 this?! It's goin' down tonight, baby! [ Booing continues ] 117 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,977 Rusty: I don't like them dressing us up like people. It's dehumanizin'. 118 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:04,781 Early: Unh-unh, it's re-humanizing, you see? 'Cause they making us look like, 119 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:08,815 you know, human people and all. Rusty: Nah, daddy, they're taking away our dignity. 120 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,292 [ Pig snorts ] Early: You're missing the point. 121 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,961 We look like people now. What's this?! [ Feedback ] 122 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:17,831 I'm getting word from the tunnel we have a late entry. Early: What the hell's this?! 123 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:27,471 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your reigning champion, granicus hotfoot! 124 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:32,084 [ Cheers and applause ] [ Fanfare ] Granny: I... 125 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:35,449 Am... Granicus! Early: You ain't in no 126 00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:40,549 condition to race! Granny: Oh, son, you may have gotten my good looks, but you 127 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:44,094 never got my will to win! [ Cackles ] Early: [ Sniffling ] 128 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:47,291 To hell with this mess! [ Crying ] Rusty: Daddy, where you 129 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,934 going? Granny: If only he ran like that in the race, he might win 130 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:55,401 one! [ Laughs ] Rusty, I'm gonna need you to lay 131 00:08:55,402 --> 00:09:01,612 up again for me. On your marks! Set! 132 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:05,978 [ Indistinct shouting, screaming ] Early: Out of my way, you 133 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,849 dumbasses! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Whoo! 134 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:16,050 No, my beautiful menagerie! Granny: Get on, snowball! Stop sniffin' your brother's 135 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,516 ass! He's dead! Early: Hell yeah! 136 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:23,925 Whoo! Victory is mine! [ Engine revving ] What the?! 137 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:27,401 Granny: [ Grunts ] It's over, Early! Early: Nothing is over! 138 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:31,501 Granny: Imma win! Early: I need this! [ Both grunting ] 139 00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:39,975 [ Pig snorting ] [ Camera shutter clicks ] [ Flies buzzing ] 140 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:46,450 Oh, lord, no, this mess ain't gonna fly on a billboard. Okay, that's it. Show's over. 141 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:53,333 We're goin' corn maze. Put 'em all to sleep. Wipe it clean. 142 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:56,387 [ Pig snorts ] Early: Oh, oh, I see how he won now, getting his damn blood 143 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,896 doped over there! [ Pig squeals ] Rusty: He's getting 144 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,169 euthanized, daddy. Granny: Hey, I want to be younger! 145 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:04,198 Rusty: That ain't what that means, granny! We need to get on out of here! 146 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:08,144 Early: Look, I don't want to taint my championship, but, hell, everybody's juicing now, 147 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:12,581 and I got to do what I got to do to stay competitive. Granny: If he gets that shot, 148 00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:16,979 i want the shot, too! Rusty: I'll see y'all. [ Flies buzzing ] 149 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,484 [ Birds chirping ] 150 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:46,135 Granny: Made in Georgia! 16326

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