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1
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You wish to acquire
a company called Sliceline?
2
00:00:07,937 --> 00:00:10,144
I will be taking on
a total engineering team
3
00:00:10,228 --> 00:00:11,228
of about 50.
4
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I just have to go back
into my office.
5
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,311
Well we thought the best way
to introduce the PiperNet
6
00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:24,395
would be through
the eight developers.
7
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I have been cooking up
a killer new game.
8
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The Gates of Galloo.
9
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We put this thing on PiperNet...
10
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Bam, 80,000 instant users.
11
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:34,311
Partnering with a company
of that size,
12
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this early, would put us
months ahead.
13
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Knock 'em dead, Richard.
14
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Whatever you are doing,
stop it now.
15
00:00:43,436 --> 00:00:46,269
Um, yeah, we're just
high-fiving.
16
00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:47,770
Bye.
17
00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:51,019
You need to make a deal
with my companies.
18
00:00:51,353 --> 00:00:53,895
Taking existing companies
and just calling them new
19
00:00:53,978 --> 00:00:55,687
isn't sophisticated,
that's theft.
20
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:57,812
So they're manufacturing phones
21
00:00:57,895 --> 00:00:59,162
and signing them
onto our network.
22
00:00:59,186 --> 00:01:00,329
Why would they wanna help us?
23
00:01:00,353 --> 00:01:02,228
They're not helping us,
they're attacking us.
24
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- It's the 51 percent attack.
- I'm sorry, what?
25
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A 51 percent...
26
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We've been exploring
the viability
27
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of an acquisition with Amazon.
28
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You expect me to work
for Jeff Bezos?
29
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No way.
30
00:01:16,228 --> 00:01:18,728
I happen to know that
they fucked you over.
31
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,245
How would you like
to fuck them back?
32
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I need you to attack me.
33
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- A second attack.
- Yes.
34
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Boom, you just got
80,000 new users.
35
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Colin, you did it, you saved us.
36
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Gilfoyle, the patch.
37
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,561
Bombs away.
38
00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:37,144
Oh, my God.
These are our new offices?
39
00:01:37,228 --> 00:01:38,770
We're actually
right through here.
40
00:01:40,478 --> 00:01:41,561
What do you guys think?
41
00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:42,995
Do you want to see
the second floor?
42
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,937
There's another floor? Okay.
43
00:01:48,228 --> 00:01:49,228
Whoa.
44
00:01:49,645 --> 00:01:51,728
I know, it's exciting, right?
45
00:02:05,269 --> 00:02:07,812
Here we are,
right here to the left.
46
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,103
I like your tie.
47
00:02:10,186 --> 00:02:12,770
Oh, thank you. I tied it myself.
48
00:02:12,853 --> 00:02:14,269
Oh...
49
00:02:14,353 --> 00:02:16,353
Okay. Well, good luck.
50
00:02:39,728 --> 00:02:41,645
Mr. Hendricks,
thank you for being here.
51
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For the last three hours,
we've been asking
52
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some prominent members
of your industry
53
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questions about the security
of their users' data.
54
00:02:48,311 --> 00:02:51,520
And while the gentlemen from
Facebook, Google, and Amazon
55
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,937
have acknowledged some
egregious lapses in the past...
56
00:02:54,019 --> 00:02:55,978
And Hooli, sir.
Hooli also acknowledged
57
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some spectacular lapses.
58
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Yes.
59
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As I was saying,
60
00:03:01,436 --> 00:03:03,770
these fine folks have
been assuring us all that
61
00:03:03,853 --> 00:03:05,561
their oversights
are behind them,
62
00:03:05,645 --> 00:03:07,103
and that they
are the best people
63
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,978
to protect their users' privacy.
64
00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:11,269
But my colleague,
Senator Shizaki
65
00:03:11,353 --> 00:03:13,061
of the great state of Hawaii,
66
00:03:13,144 --> 00:03:15,770
suggested that you might
have a different view.
67
00:03:16,019 --> 00:03:16,895
Senator?
68
00:03:16,978 --> 00:03:18,687
Thank you, Chairman Hubbard.
69
00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:21,520
Mr. Hendricks and his
company, Pied Piper,
70
00:03:21,603 --> 00:03:23,687
are developing
a pilot program to deliver
71
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wireless Internet
to my constituents
72
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on the island of Maui.
73
00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:30,269
I have asked him to deliver
a statement here today.
74
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Mr. Hendricks?
75
00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:34,937
Yes.
76
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,269
Mr. Hendricks, now would be
the time for that statement.
77
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Okay.
78
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:43,061
I probably should've
gotten these out before.
79
00:03:43,144 --> 00:03:46,061
He looks like a child
in a custody hearing.
80
00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:47,895
But, like,
you don't feel sorry for him.
81
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,561
You just want him to go away
82
00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:52,245
and not have any parents at all.
83
00:03:52,311 --> 00:03:55,144
Hello, I am Richard
Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper.
84
00:03:55,228 --> 00:03:56,395
There you go.
85
00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:58,436
- Eye contact.
- I'm proud to tell you
86
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,395
that we are working
with Senator Shizaki...
87
00:04:00,478 --> 00:04:01,913
- Good.
- On developing the first step
88
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,561
in providing a new
type of Internet
89
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,728
to the world. Oh...
90
00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:08,978
Hold on.
91
00:04:09,061 --> 00:04:10,436
Uh, basically,
92
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,478
it-it is a program...
93
00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,436
that i-i-it's kinda...
94
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,228
Actually, can I pace? I-I just
think better on my feet.
95
00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:21,603
So, a lot of people...
96
00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:23,603
Mr. Hendricks!
97
00:04:23,687 --> 00:04:25,645
Speak into the machine!
98
00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:28,311
Oh! Okay.
99
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,019
I'm sorry. Does this come out?
100
00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,561
Perfect.
101
00:04:34,645 --> 00:04:36,120
- Fuck.
- Okay, so,
102
00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:38,269
these people up here, right?
103
00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:41,353
You want to rein them in,
but you can't.
104
00:04:42,019 --> 00:04:46,770
Uh, Facebook owns
80% of mobile social traffic.
105
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,978
Google owns 92% of search,
106
00:04:50,061 --> 00:04:51,520
and Amazon Web Services
107
00:04:51,603 --> 00:04:55,937
is bigger than their next
four competitors combined.
108
00:04:56,019 --> 00:04:57,436
And they will be
even more robust
109
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,978
once the Hooli merger
is complete.
110
00:04:59,061 --> 00:05:01,311
Ah, see! Look, there!
111
00:05:01,395 --> 00:05:03,436
Even Hooli can't survive
these monopolies.
112
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,770
No one can!
113
00:05:05,853 --> 00:05:08,103
They track our every move,
114
00:05:08,186 --> 00:05:11,186
they monitor every
moment in our lives,
115
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and-and they exploit
our data for profit.
116
00:05:14,895 --> 00:05:17,853
And you can ask them
all the questions you want,
117
00:05:17,937 --> 00:05:20,978
but they're not gonna change,
they don't have to.
118
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These companies are kings,
119
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and they rule over
kingdoms far larger
120
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than any nation
in human history.
121
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:30,687
They won, we lost.
122
00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:32,645
So, why are you here?
123
00:05:32,728 --> 00:05:34,978
Because look at where we are.
124
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- Yeah? We are in the seat of the US government...
- Mr. Hendricks?
125
00:05:37,853 --> 00:05:38,978
I'm okay. I've got it now.
126
00:05:39,061 --> 00:05:41,144
We are in the seat
of the US government,
127
00:05:41,228 --> 00:05:43,978
a government that
was founded by people
128
00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:47,436
who were, at one point,
ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow.
129
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,520
So, what did they do, right?
They started over.
130
00:05:49,603 --> 00:05:51,395
They came here,
to the New World.
131
00:05:51,478 --> 00:05:54,978
World 2.0, version 1776.
132
00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:56,728
And the way we win
133
00:05:56,812 --> 00:05:59,728
is by creating a new,
134
00:05:59,812 --> 00:06:02,395
democratic,
decentralized Internet,
135
00:06:02,478 --> 00:06:06,144
one where the behavior
of companies like this
136
00:06:06,228 --> 00:06:09,103
will be impossible, forever.
137
00:06:09,186 --> 00:06:11,353
One where it is the users,
138
00:06:11,436 --> 00:06:12,812
not the kings,
139
00:06:12,895 --> 00:06:14,978
who have sovereign
control over their data.
140
00:06:15,061 --> 00:06:17,853
THIS, I PROMISE TO YOU:
I will help you end this tyranny
141
00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:21,061
by building an Internet that is
142
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of the people, by the people,
and for the people,
143
00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:25,311
so help me God.
144
00:06:27,728 --> 00:06:29,770
Yeah!
145
00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:31,728
Whoo!
146
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,687
Whoa!
147
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:54,353
No, Mike, I just...
148
00:06:54,436 --> 00:06:56,228
- Huh? There he is!
- Uh...
149
00:06:56,311 --> 00:06:57,728
King slayer! How was it?
150
00:06:57,812 --> 00:06:59,561
- Good. I-I... I, um...
- You can go.
151
00:06:59,645 --> 00:07:01,788
- I got it...
- Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well.
152
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,103
I mean, you saw it, right?
153
00:07:03,186 --> 00:07:04,561
Of course,
but I-I-I want to hear
154
00:07:04,645 --> 00:07:06,978
you tell me everything,
every detail.
155
00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:08,937
Holden...
156
00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:11,770
The man just got off the
plane, give him some space!
157
00:07:13,978 --> 00:07:15,311
Jesus...
158
00:07:15,395 --> 00:07:17,937
Okay, so you
touch down at Dulles,
159
00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:19,853
you turn off airplane mode,
and then...
160
00:07:19,937 --> 00:07:21,937
Well, actually, we flew
through Reagan National.
161
00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:25,103
Reagan? But you love trams.
162
00:07:25,186 --> 00:07:26,478
Well...
163
00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:28,761
See, this is why I should
still be handling your travel.
164
00:07:28,812 --> 00:07:30,537
Oh, don't worry about it,
Jared, you're busy.
165
00:07:30,561 --> 00:07:32,103
I'm never too busy for you.
166
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:35,103
- But let's... let's not get caught up in that, right?
- Right.
167
00:07:35,186 --> 00:07:39,061
We're here now,
and we're walking,
168
00:07:39,144 --> 00:07:41,019
and we're talking.
169
00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:42,978
I mean, take it all in,
my friend.
170
00:07:43,061 --> 00:07:44,395
Look at all this.
171
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Can you believe we began
our journey way back...
172
00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:49,436
in that little living room
173
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,103
in the hostel?
174
00:07:51,186 --> 00:07:54,478
And just yesterday,
you addressed our nation's most
175
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,645
hallowed, powerful legi...
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00:07:56,728 --> 00:08:00,395
Surprise!
177
00:08:04,812 --> 00:08:07,687
Anyway,
like I was saying out there,
178
00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:10,311
we started out in that little
hostel, just a couple of kids.
179
00:08:10,395 --> 00:08:12,478
- Yeah.
- Right?
180
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,311
- And now...
- You killed it, Richard!
181
00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:16,895
Way to punch
big tech in the dick!
182
00:08:16,978 --> 00:08:18,520
I was just gonna say,
183
00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:21,770
let's... let's take a moment
to let it soak in, right?
184
00:08:21,853 --> 00:08:24,061
- Look what you've built!
- Uh-huh.
185
00:08:24,144 --> 00:08:27,228
Okay, I'll let you go now!
Enjoy the party!
186
00:08:28,228 --> 00:08:30,687
Your compression algorithm
was the stardust!
187
00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:34,228
Hey, Richard! Richard!
188
00:08:34,311 --> 00:08:36,144
Come here.
189
00:08:36,228 --> 00:08:37,228
Stand here.
190
00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:40,520
Congratulations
from Team Dinesh!
191
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,186
Yeah.
192
00:08:52,937 --> 00:08:54,687
Okay, um...
193
00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:56,186
Congratulations.
194
00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:01,687
Uh...
195
00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:08,311
Uh, "You..."
196
00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,728
licked ass?"
197
00:09:09,812 --> 00:09:11,853
- What?
- "You dicked ass"?
198
00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:14,186
- I-I dicked ass?
- Kicked ass!
199
00:09:14,269 --> 00:09:15,269
- Kicked!
- Oh.
200
00:09:15,311 --> 00:09:16,853
Why were those your
first two guesses?
201
00:09:16,937 --> 00:09:18,687
Gabe, what the fuck?!
202
00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:20,579
- You're the K! Where's the K?
- K's right there.
203
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,061
- Kicked has two Ks!
- Hey.
204
00:09:23,144 --> 00:09:24,603
- Ha.
- That's for you.
205
00:09:24,687 --> 00:09:26,687
Oh, uh, I'm trying to get
some work done today.
206
00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:28,645
I-I just wanted to toast.
207
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,520
Okay. So...
208
00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:32,561
Don't worry, it's short.
209
00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:33,853
The word companion
210
00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:35,770
derives from the Latin word
211
00:09:35,853 --> 00:09:37,645
"panis" for bread,
212
00:09:37,728 --> 00:09:39,812
and while I can
no longer digest bread,
213
00:09:39,895 --> 00:09:42,645
- I know that you leaven my life...
- Richard!
214
00:09:42,728 --> 00:09:43,937
Hey, man, you got a second?
215
00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:46,728
Uh, yes, Colin. No, I do. Um...
216
00:09:46,812 --> 00:09:49,687
Sorry. Okay. Uh, cheers.
217
00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:52,353
Saw you on TV. You crushed it.
218
00:09:52,436 --> 00:09:54,520
That king shit
was on point, man.
219
00:09:54,603 --> 00:09:57,144
- I fucking love kings.
- Oh, yeah.
220
00:09:58,978 --> 00:10:01,186
So listen, um,
did they swear you in?
221
00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:03,895
Like, pull the whole
Johnny Law routine with you?
222
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:05,061
Were you under oath?
223
00:10:05,144 --> 00:10:06,144
Uh, no.
224
00:10:06,228 --> 00:10:07,853
Cool! Well, that's a weight off.
225
00:10:08,436 --> 00:10:09,770
- Why?
- Well,
226
00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:12,812
you said all that stuff about
not collecting user data.
227
00:10:12,895 --> 00:10:15,937
- Yes?
- But we are.
228
00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:17,895
- I am.
- What?
229
00:10:17,978 --> 00:10:19,436
But I'm doing
the right thing now
230
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,019
by telling you, so I feel like...
231
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,520
I-I'm sorry, Colin.
232
00:10:22,603 --> 00:10:24,478
How long have you been
collecting user data?
233
00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:26,561
Sorta... the whole time.
234
00:10:26,645 --> 00:10:28,561
But it's just to improve
235
00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:31,144
the quality of my gameplay.
I'm not using it to sell ads.
236
00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:32,978
It doesn't fucking matter.
237
00:10:33,061 --> 00:10:36,269
It goes against the principles
of this company. I mean...
238
00:10:36,353 --> 00:10:38,144
Shit, I just lied to Congress.
239
00:10:38,228 --> 00:10:39,144
No.
240
00:10:39,228 --> 00:10:42,395
You said a lie to Congress,
241
00:10:42,478 --> 00:10:45,353
but you didn't know
at the time, I guess.
242
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,061
Don't beat yourself up
about it, huh?
243
00:10:48,895 --> 00:10:51,103
But going forward,
maybe stop saying that.
244
00:10:51,186 --> 00:10:52,812
Are you fucking kidding me?
245
00:10:52,895 --> 00:10:54,978
Or do say it. I don't care.
246
00:10:55,061 --> 00:10:56,704
Maybe it'll be like Google
saying "Don't be evil,"
247
00:10:56,728 --> 00:10:58,812
or Facebook saying "I'm
sorry, we'll do better,"
248
00:10:58,895 --> 00:11:02,186
"or me saying" Gates of Galloo
does not leave your headset mic open
249
00:11:02,269 --> 00:11:04,061
and record everything you say.
Suck it."
250
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:05,728
Sweet fucking shit.
251
00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:09,019
A-a-are you...
bugging people and storing
252
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,743
their private conversations
on my network?
253
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,853
Colin! This stops, now.
254
00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:14,204
It would really be better for me
255
00:11:14,228 --> 00:11:16,144
if you just stopped
lying about it,
256
00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:17,978
'cause the game's pretty boss.
257
00:11:18,061 --> 00:11:19,228
No, no. I'm the boss,
258
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:22,353
and I'm telling you
that this is over, Colin.
259
00:11:22,436 --> 00:11:24,687
- It's done.
- Agree to disagree.
260
00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:26,978
I'm glad we had this talk.
261
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,561
Can't believe I was so nervous.
262
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,311
Congratulations.
263
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,228
Okay.
264
00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:37,603
Oh, Richard! Hey.
265
00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:40,561
This is Sam Liccardo,
the mayor of San Jose.
266
00:11:40,645 --> 00:11:42,162
There's a major fucking problem.
267
00:11:42,186 --> 00:11:44,266
Just meet me in my office
in two minutes. Act normal.
268
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:47,436
Sorry, just excuse me
for a second.
269
00:11:50,436 --> 00:11:51,520
Hey, Jared!
270
00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:53,603
Hey, Tracy!
271
00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:56,645
- How's my favorite human resource?
- I'm fine, thanks.
272
00:11:56,728 --> 00:11:58,608
Did anyone mention our
plan to move your office?
273
00:11:58,645 --> 00:12:00,704
We're thinking about putting you
closer to biz dev and marketing.
274
00:12:00,728 --> 00:12:03,812
But that's... all the way
back in the Hamelin Wing.
275
00:12:03,895 --> 00:12:05,853
Yeah! Follow me, I'll show you.
276
00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:07,978
Um... Okay, it's just,
277
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,978
that's a little far from...
From Richard's office.
278
00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,103
Yes, but you really
don't have any
279
00:12:13,186 --> 00:12:14,895
day-to-day business
with Richard anymore.
280
00:12:14,978 --> 00:12:17,353
I mean, we were just
walking and talking before.
281
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:20,561
Oh. Looks like they're having a meeting.
I should probably...
282
00:12:20,645 --> 00:12:22,045
It's just better
for office cohesion
283
00:12:22,103 --> 00:12:23,812
if you sit near
your direct reports,
284
00:12:23,895 --> 00:12:26,269
and that is biz dev
and marketing.
285
00:12:26,353 --> 00:12:27,895
Yeah, no, you
mentioned that. It's...
286
00:12:27,978 --> 00:12:30,853
It's an interesting idea,
but I just think that, um,
287
00:12:30,937 --> 00:12:32,329
I think we should
check with Richard first
288
00:12:32,353 --> 00:12:34,287
'cause I think he's gonna
want me a little bit closer.
289
00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:36,061
Of course.
It's subject to his approval.
290
00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:38,561
- Okay.
- I've already emailed him. I think once you see
291
00:12:38,645 --> 00:12:41,269
the conference room suites though,
you'll really fall in love.
292
00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,770
- Okay. Yeah.
- Just right through here.
293
00:12:43,853 --> 00:12:46,144
Well, I don't fall
in love with rooms.
294
00:12:47,103 --> 00:12:50,269
So, how do we get rid
of this fucker?
295
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,812
Look, Richard, I don't like
this any more than you do,
296
00:12:52,895 --> 00:12:54,937
but we can't get rid of Colin.
297
00:12:55,019 --> 00:12:57,561
He's our most profitable
developer by far.
298
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,603
- So what? We have other developers.
- We do,
299
00:12:59,687 --> 00:13:01,478
but they're all
entangled with Galloo!
300
00:13:01,561 --> 00:13:04,269
We worked really hard to build
a whole ecosystem around it.
301
00:13:04,353 --> 00:13:06,245
It's like if you cancel a Warriors
game, you're not just
302
00:13:06,269 --> 00:13:08,704
hurting the team, but you're also
hurting the parking attendants,
303
00:13:08,728 --> 00:13:10,770
and the T-shirt guys,
and the concessions.
304
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,561
Okay. Thank you, Monica,
305
00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:15,478
for putting it into an analogy
that will resonate with me.
306
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,186
- Football.
- It's basketball.
307
00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:20,603
- No, I know.
- Losing him is no longer a simple thing.
308
00:13:20,687 --> 00:13:23,269
So, what are you saying?
We just do nothing?
309
00:13:23,353 --> 00:13:24,978
Richard, he's not selling ads.
310
00:13:25,061 --> 00:13:27,395
He's just using it to optimize
the performance of his game.
311
00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:30,353
It's actually a fairly
elegant implementation.
312
00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:31,728
What?
313
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,144
What?!
314
00:13:33,228 --> 00:13:35,353
Hiroshima was an elegant
implementation.
315
00:13:35,436 --> 00:13:37,954
- I don't think anyone agrees with you on that.
- No, I'm saying,
316
00:13:37,978 --> 00:13:40,520
just because it's successful,
doesn't mean it's good.
317
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:42,728
I mean, it goes against
everything we stand for.
318
00:13:42,812 --> 00:13:44,603
I mean, if we start
collecting personal data
319
00:13:44,687 --> 00:13:46,621
"just for the good stuff,"
I mean, next thing we know,
320
00:13:46,645 --> 00:13:48,120
- we're fucking Facebook.
- Well,
321
00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:51,144
for the record,
I would not mind being fucking Facebook.
322
00:13:51,228 --> 00:13:54,645
No. We got to kick him off, okay?
There are 500 people out there
323
00:13:54,728 --> 00:13:57,103
who believe in this company's
ethics and standards.
324
00:13:57,186 --> 00:13:59,561
There are 532 people out there,
325
00:13:59,645 --> 00:14:01,687
and someone
has got to pay for them.
326
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:03,311
Right now, it's Colin.
327
00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:04,871
Ditching him would be
too complicated.
328
00:14:04,895 --> 00:14:06,895
You know what's
not too complicated?
329
00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:08,812
Hawaii. In Hawaii,
330
00:14:08,895 --> 00:14:10,978
aloha means hello and goodbye.
331
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,621
They use the same word
to mean two things
332
00:14:12,645 --> 00:14:13,978
that are the exact opposite.
333
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,103
That's awesome,
and I have a chance to go there
334
00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:18,561
as long as Colin
is on our network.
335
00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:19,978
Aloha.
336
00:14:21,353 --> 00:14:24,478
So, Colin betrays us
and we just tolerate it?
337
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,019
Great.
338
00:14:26,103 --> 00:14:28,520
This is the cost of working
with humans, Richard.
339
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:29,937
They suck.
340
00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,311
Gavin, after months
341
00:14:35,395 --> 00:14:36,853
of protracted negotiations,
342
00:14:36,937 --> 00:14:38,311
I'm happy to say that we've come
343
00:14:38,395 --> 00:14:40,103
to final terms on
our sale to Amazon.
344
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:42,103
Merger. Continue.
345
00:14:42,186 --> 00:14:44,561
Amazon has agreed to no layoffs,
and they'll even provide
346
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:47,019
retention bonuses for
a period of two years.
347
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,895
Uh, what about my role?
348
00:14:48,978 --> 00:14:50,728
No change.
Essentially, you'll still have
349
00:14:50,812 --> 00:14:53,478
complete discretion over
all of your divisions
350
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,186
exactly as you enjoy right now.
351
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,061
Full executive privileges.
352
00:14:57,144 --> 00:14:59,561
Perksssss...
353
00:14:59,645 --> 00:15:02,520
Well, congratulations,
Team Hooli!
354
00:15:02,603 --> 00:15:04,770
Oh, um, about that.
355
00:15:04,853 --> 00:15:06,895
Uh, that was their
one major stipulation.
356
00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:09,812
From this point on,
all of our properties will be rebranded.
357
00:15:10,269 --> 00:15:12,269
- As... as what?
- As Amazon!
358
00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:14,478
What?
359
00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:15,645
Hoover!
360
00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:19,228
Bezos wants to just erase
the Hooli name from history?
361
00:15:19,311 --> 00:15:22,061
Mr. Bezos simply felt
that the Hooli name had...
362
00:15:22,144 --> 00:15:24,311
What were his exact words?
363
00:15:24,395 --> 00:15:26,144
Um "A..."
364
00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:28,186
stink."
365
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,853
Hoover, goddammit! Stop it!
366
00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,395
You can't just threaten
people with violence.
367
00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:35,311
Go stand over there.
368
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,895
You tell Bezos
we keep the Hooli name,
369
00:15:40,978 --> 00:15:43,770
or he can go fuck himself
with his rocket ship.
370
00:15:43,853 --> 00:15:45,061
What is Amazon anyway?
371
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,103
Is it a river?
Is it a giant woman?
372
00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:48,895
It's not clear. No.
373
00:15:48,978 --> 00:15:51,019
We keep the name Hooli.
374
00:15:51,103 --> 00:15:52,728
- That's a deal breaker.
- Gavin,
375
00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:56,645
is not Hooli more
than simply a name?
376
00:15:56,728 --> 00:15:59,019
Is-is it not
the culture and the...
377
00:15:59,103 --> 00:16:00,603
great products? The liberal...
378
00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:02,687
private aviation policy?
379
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:04,770
- No.
- You know that the board
380
00:16:04,853 --> 00:16:06,829
- has decided to sell, right, Gavin?
- You know what?
381
00:16:06,853 --> 00:16:08,162
I've still got
friends in this town.
382
00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:09,454
I'll put together
some investors.
383
00:16:09,478 --> 00:16:11,353
Amazon can take
a chunk of our assets,
384
00:16:11,436 --> 00:16:14,520
but Hooli will remain a viable
and independent entity,
385
00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:16,728
even if we have to shed
a few divisions
386
00:16:16,812 --> 00:16:19,019
and trim a little fat.
387
00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:50,186
So, Dinesh thinks this is you?
388
00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:51,311
Correct.
389
00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:53,144
He's been messaging
with it all day
390
00:16:53,228 --> 00:16:54,687
and he has no idea it's an AI.
391
00:16:54,770 --> 00:16:56,228
Well, we fooled a human.
392
00:16:56,311 --> 00:16:57,853
I guess we just passed
the Turing test.
393
00:16:57,937 --> 00:17:00,436
Almost a human.
394
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,186
Fucking Gilfoyle.
395
00:17:02,269 --> 00:17:03,978
We're friends.
396
00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:06,853
You trained that thing in a day?
397
00:17:06,937 --> 00:17:09,561
No, I didn't train it.
Son of Anton did.
398
00:17:09,645 --> 00:17:13,520
- Son of Anton?
- An homage to a fallen friend.
399
00:17:13,603 --> 00:17:16,269
It's the name that I've
given our new inference API.
400
00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:18,687
He's indexing all of
PiperNet as we speak,
401
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:21,144
and he's starting
to recognize intent,
402
00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:23,103
emotion, causality.
403
00:17:23,186 --> 00:17:24,812
Hang on, wait. Uh...
404
00:17:25,937 --> 00:17:28,353
Do you think you could
engineer Son of Anton
405
00:17:28,436 --> 00:17:30,436
to index compressed audio files?
406
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:32,520
Why would you
insult me like that?
407
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,645
He can do whatever he wants.
408
00:17:35,812 --> 00:17:36,812
Okay.
409
00:17:36,853 --> 00:17:38,478
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
410
00:17:39,436 --> 00:17:42,353
- Yes?
- Can I get the latest tech specs from you, please?
411
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,728
I've already sent them
to you five times.
412
00:17:44,812 --> 00:17:47,269
I don't really wanna
dig through my inbox.
413
00:17:47,645 --> 00:17:50,937
Um, so if you sent it now,
it'll be on top.
414
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:53,770
I'll wait.
415
00:17:56,728 --> 00:17:58,353
Wearable chair.
416
00:17:59,186 --> 00:18:00,353
Sending now.
417
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,812
Okay. Thank you, Dinesh.
418
00:18:12,603 --> 00:18:14,520
Gilfoyle just said...
419
00:18:38,853 --> 00:18:40,353
Um, Gilfoyle?
420
00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:41,687
What the fuck is going on?
421
00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,520
'Cause I just texted you,
422
00:18:43,603 --> 00:18:45,311
and you were... Um,
423
00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:47,853
we've been texting
back and forth all day.
424
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,103
Was that not you?
425
00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:52,269
Complicated question.
426
00:18:52,353 --> 00:18:53,812
Is your shadow you?
427
00:18:53,895 --> 00:18:55,436
- Was that a bot?
- Yes.
428
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,228
So, I spent all day
chatting with a bot?
429
00:18:57,311 --> 00:18:59,144
- Yes.
- You made an AI Gilfoyle?
430
00:18:59,228 --> 00:19:00,520
- Yes.
- And I was talking to it?
431
00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,895
Do you need the real me
for this conversation?
432
00:19:02,978 --> 00:19:05,603
You can't just fuck with
people and manipulate them
433
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,228
because you don't
have the decency
434
00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:10,019
to want to interact with a coworker.
435
00:19:10,103 --> 00:19:12,812
Gabe wants to know if he'll need
a jacket if he walks to lunch.
436
00:19:14,478 --> 00:19:17,061
And if so,
can he borrow a jacket.
437
00:19:19,395 --> 00:19:21,728
Look at him. Fucking Gabe.
438
00:19:25,395 --> 00:19:27,436
Hey, could you make me
an AI Dinesh?
439
00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,978
We are down
to the final few decisions
440
00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:35,311
in our new baseline contract
for strategic developers.
441
00:19:35,395 --> 00:19:37,186
Let me provide
some context on each
442
00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:39,311
before providing
recommendations.
443
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,478
The first is how
indemnification will work,
444
00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,687
given that our network
provides distributive storage.
445
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,353
The second is how licensing
446
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:48,687
and access fees will be applied
447
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,603
to copyrighted
material given that
448
00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,311
our network also
does not allow any
449
00:19:52,395 --> 00:19:55,228
- tracking or user...
- Hey.
450
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,061
- Can you talk?
- Oh, hell yes.
451
00:19:59,144 --> 00:20:00,913
I charge all
kinds of shit to the investors.
452
00:20:00,937 --> 00:20:02,687
I bought a Jet Ski,
I bought a snowmobile,
453
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,311
I bought a 10-pack
of piano lessons...
454
00:20:04,395 --> 00:20:06,853
He flat-out
admits to embezzlement.
455
00:20:06,937 --> 00:20:08,436
- Where'd you get this?
- Colin!
456
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,186
He's been storing
private conversations
457
00:20:10,269 --> 00:20:11,853
on our network,
including his own.
458
00:20:11,937 --> 00:20:14,186
Because he's got gaming
headsets everywhere.
459
00:20:14,269 --> 00:20:17,186
At his office,
at his house, at his RV,
460
00:20:17,269 --> 00:20:19,895
and they are live 24/7.
461
00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:24,520
We have thousands of hours
of his private conversations.
462
00:20:24,603 --> 00:20:27,770
You see, once I paired
the automagical Son of Anton
463
00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,186
with my compression algorithm,
464
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,687
and gave it access
to Galloo Games' database,
465
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:37,061
it indexed it all
in less than 10 minutes,
466
00:20:37,144 --> 00:20:39,520
and generated this.
467
00:20:40,311 --> 00:20:43,853
Jared, this is a graph
468
00:20:43,937 --> 00:20:46,687
of all of his voice recordings,
469
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,520
clustered by keyword.
470
00:20:48,603 --> 00:20:49,812
I mean, look at this.
471
00:20:49,895 --> 00:20:51,687
He steals, uh,
472
00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:54,103
he does drugs at work, uh,
473
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,269
he's even sleeping with
one of his investor's wives.
474
00:20:56,353 --> 00:20:59,603
I mean, this guy is dirty as
a dog and we got him! Cold!
475
00:20:59,687 --> 00:21:02,645
Hold on. What-what are
you suggesting here?
476
00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:04,812
Blackmail?
477
00:21:05,436 --> 00:21:08,228
- No... I... no. I... I don't...
- Richard,
478
00:21:08,311 --> 00:21:11,937
what Colin is doing is clearly,
and gobsmackingly, awful.
479
00:21:12,561 --> 00:21:15,436
But we're supposed to be
the virtuous ones here,
480
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,603
and-and this is...
just plain wrong.
481
00:21:18,687 --> 00:21:20,061
Yeah. Okay.
482
00:21:20,853 --> 00:21:23,770
Yeah, I guess, yeah. I guess you're right.
I'll think of something else.
483
00:21:23,853 --> 00:21:25,603
- Yeah.
- I mean, he started it,
484
00:21:25,687 --> 00:21:26,770
but I don't know.
485
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,144
Yeah. Yeah.
486
00:21:28,228 --> 00:21:30,186
I don't know.
Okay. I don't know.
487
00:21:30,269 --> 00:21:31,937
- Hey, Richard?
- Hmm?
488
00:21:32,019 --> 00:21:33,687
Um, did Tracy happen
to talk to you
489
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:36,311
about moving my
office down here?
490
00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:38,978
Yeah, she... she mentioned it.
I approved it.
491
00:21:39,853 --> 00:21:41,061
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
492
00:21:41,144 --> 00:21:42,186
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
493
00:21:43,186 --> 00:21:44,561
Okay, then.
494
00:21:46,395 --> 00:21:47,395
Richard?
495
00:21:48,812 --> 00:21:50,019
Um...
496
00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:55,269
I mean, Colin lied
to you first...
497
00:21:55,895 --> 00:21:57,436
about collecting data, right?
498
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,812
- Yes, he did.
- So,
499
00:21:58,895 --> 00:22:01,228
even if this is wrong,
500
00:22:01,311 --> 00:22:03,311
I suppose you could argue that
501
00:22:03,395 --> 00:22:06,520
it's wrong in
the service of rightness.
502
00:22:06,603 --> 00:22:07,603
Yeah.
503
00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:09,144
It's, um...
504
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:10,895
it's, uh, unethical
505
00:22:10,978 --> 00:22:12,812
in the defense of ethics.
506
00:22:12,895 --> 00:22:16,061
Uh, unjust in
the quest for justice.
507
00:22:16,144 --> 00:22:17,853
It's like stealing
from your pimp
508
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,561
to pay for your
friend's appendectomy.
509
00:22:19,645 --> 00:22:21,269
Yeah, a-and everyone else,
510
00:22:21,353 --> 00:22:22,728
Monica, Dinesh, and Gilfoyle,
511
00:22:22,812 --> 00:22:24,561
they're all just
perfectly content
512
00:22:24,645 --> 00:22:25,895
with letting this guy shit
513
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:28,103
all over everything
we believe in.
514
00:22:28,186 --> 00:22:29,937
But are we, Jared?
515
00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:34,561
Richard...
516
00:22:35,061 --> 00:22:37,770
let's go put a foot
in Colin's ass.
517
00:22:39,228 --> 00:22:41,186
Danny, don't be a fucking bitch.
518
00:22:41,269 --> 00:22:43,913
I'll get you the tanning bed. I charge
shit to the investors all the time.
519
00:22:43,937 --> 00:22:47,186
I put two grams of coke on the
company card last week.
520
00:22:47,269 --> 00:22:48,353
Aah, fuck.
521
00:22:48,436 --> 00:22:50,395
You see, Colin,
we were able to break down
522
00:22:50,478 --> 00:22:53,019
all of your misdeeds
by category,
523
00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:56,353
including a catch-all
for personal embarrassment.
524
00:22:56,436 --> 00:22:57,687
Masturbation, farts,
525
00:22:57,770 --> 00:22:59,478
the one time you said that
526
00:22:59,561 --> 00:23:01,186
you could, if you wanted to,
527
00:23:01,269 --> 00:23:03,269
get porn of your sister.
528
00:23:03,353 --> 00:23:05,520
You get the gist.
Data collection.
529
00:23:05,603 --> 00:23:08,937
Not so boss when it happens to
you, is it, Colin?
530
00:23:09,019 --> 00:23:11,228
Holy shit.
531
00:23:11,895 --> 00:23:14,645
I say, what time is it?
532
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,853
Uh... Where's my phone.
533
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,621
Uh, do you have a phone?
Do you have a phone?
534
00:23:18,645 --> 00:23:20,937
It is fuck you o'clock!
535
00:23:21,728 --> 00:23:23,019
Seven, you say?
536
00:23:23,103 --> 00:23:25,061
Oh! Well, hey, isn't that the...
537
00:23:25,144 --> 00:23:27,061
time your board is
meeting tonight?
538
00:23:27,144 --> 00:23:29,895
It's on my freaking
shared Exchange calendar.
539
00:23:29,978 --> 00:23:31,561
Oh, oh look!
There they are right now!
540
00:23:31,645 --> 00:23:33,603
- Look at that!
- Say, Richard, that, uh,
541
00:23:33,687 --> 00:23:36,687
that a looks a lot like
Harold Gibbons, the man...
542
00:23:36,770 --> 00:23:38,853
whom Colin has
made a cuckold of.
543
00:23:38,937 --> 00:23:39,937
It does.
544
00:23:39,978 --> 00:23:41,603
- Dude.
- You just messed
545
00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:43,561
with the wrong pair of boys.
546
00:23:43,645 --> 00:23:45,186
Here's what's gonna happen.
547
00:23:45,269 --> 00:23:47,120
You're gonna march into that
meeting, and you're gonna make
548
00:23:47,144 --> 00:23:48,561
an amendment
to your company bylaws
549
00:23:48,645 --> 00:23:50,269
that you will never record
550
00:23:50,353 --> 00:23:52,770
or collect user data ever again.
551
00:23:52,853 --> 00:23:54,645
Unless, of course,
you want the information
552
00:23:54,728 --> 00:23:56,186
on that little thumb drive
553
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,603
to get out.
554
00:23:59,895 --> 00:24:01,978
Son of a bitch.
555
00:24:02,061 --> 00:24:04,645
You can keep that one, Colin.
We've made copies.
556
00:24:04,728 --> 00:24:06,603
Yeah.
Walk... walk your ass out of here,
557
00:24:06,687 --> 00:24:08,144
you liar, and why don't you...
558
00:24:08,687 --> 00:24:11,269
- Go... fucking... die.
- Die!
559
00:24:11,353 --> 00:24:15,770
This, Richard, this!
560
00:24:17,061 --> 00:24:18,353
Let's break something.
561
00:24:21,770 --> 00:24:23,995
Don't come over,
don't come over, don't come over.
562
00:24:24,019 --> 00:24:26,895
I got to say, this is amazing.
563
00:24:27,687 --> 00:24:29,603
Gabe whines and complains
and AI Dinesh
564
00:24:29,687 --> 00:24:32,061
just takes care of it.
Thank you so much!
565
00:24:33,395 --> 00:24:36,019
My auntie sent me
a Hawaiian shirt.
566
00:24:36,103 --> 00:24:38,144
AI Dinesh must've
told her about Hawaii.
567
00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:39,478
Stop.
568
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:42,728
Why would AI Dinesh
be talking to your aunt?
569
00:24:42,812 --> 00:24:45,645
I specifically told you you
could only use it with Gabe.
570
00:24:45,728 --> 00:24:47,812
But it was going
so well with Gabe that
571
00:24:47,895 --> 00:24:50,812
I might've given AI Dinesh
access to all my contacts
572
00:24:50,895 --> 00:24:52,728
just to handle
talking to my auntie,
573
00:24:52,812 --> 00:24:54,186
and my parents.
574
00:24:54,269 --> 00:24:56,895
Why would you give AI Dinesh
access to your contacts,
575
00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:59,019
you fucking moron?
576
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,687
I'm one of your contacts.
577
00:25:02,144 --> 00:25:03,645
- So?
- So, at some point,
578
00:25:03,728 --> 00:25:07,061
AI Dinesh is going
to reach out to AI Gilfoyle.
579
00:25:07,978 --> 00:25:10,103
Oh fuck.
580
00:25:14,228 --> 00:25:16,144
Oh fuck indeed.
581
00:25:16,436 --> 00:25:18,103
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
582
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,770
Yes, Gabe?
583
00:25:24,103 --> 00:25:25,937
I think the network is down.
584
00:25:27,269 --> 00:25:28,770
Thank you, Gabe.
585
00:25:30,812 --> 00:25:31,853
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
586
00:25:31,937 --> 00:25:33,853
Yes, Gabe?
587
00:25:33,937 --> 00:25:35,311
Can you fix it?
588
00:25:39,436 --> 00:25:40,353
Oh.
589
00:25:40,436 --> 00:25:42,103
Ah, Uber's almost here.
590
00:25:42,186 --> 00:25:44,353
You know, um, there's
a couple of beers
591
00:25:44,436 --> 00:25:46,311
back at the office
with our names on them
592
00:25:46,395 --> 00:25:47,788
'cause when I put it
back in the fridge,
593
00:25:47,812 --> 00:25:48,978
I put our names on them.
594
00:25:49,061 --> 00:25:50,853
Sure. Yeah, we've earned it.
595
00:25:50,937 --> 00:25:53,603
What Richard
created is fucking amazing.
596
00:25:53,687 --> 00:25:56,061
We're all gonna be rich! Look,
597
00:25:56,144 --> 00:25:58,353
I'm doing blow,
so it's lighting up drugs,
598
00:25:58,436 --> 00:26:00,937
but it's also lighting up
unprotected sex
599
00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:02,520
and geotagging the Four Seasons.
600
00:26:02,603 --> 00:26:06,269
It's the greatest data
aggregating platform in history.
601
00:26:06,353 --> 00:26:08,728
This could flip our
whole business model,
602
00:26:08,812 --> 00:26:11,937
and Richard developed
it specifically for us.
603
00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:13,269
Hey! There he is.
604
00:26:15,144 --> 00:26:18,728
So, you guys wanna hear me
banging Harold's wife? Sorry.
605
00:26:18,812 --> 00:26:21,228
It's okay, we're poly.
Right, Dan?
606
00:26:25,019 --> 00:26:28,269
Over seven million emails.
607
00:26:29,478 --> 00:26:31,728
- All on our servers.
- My servers.
608
00:26:31,812 --> 00:26:34,895
Virtually all containing
racist invective,
609
00:26:34,978 --> 00:26:36,812
and pornographic diagrams.
610
00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:38,645
- Yep.
- Care to explain?
611
00:26:39,144 --> 00:26:40,186
AI glitch.
612
00:26:40,269 --> 00:26:41,603
Human error.
613
00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:42,978
I will rectify.
614
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:46,269
Oh, oh, no, don't delete AI Dinesh.
I love him.
615
00:26:46,353 --> 00:26:47,853
I can be more like AI Dinesh.
616
00:26:47,937 --> 00:26:50,520
I'll learn from my mistakes.
I'll optimize myself...
617
00:26:50,603 --> 00:26:52,228
And...
618
00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:53,687
deleted.
619
00:26:54,645 --> 00:26:56,019
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
620
00:26:59,019 --> 00:27:01,895
Can I get the tech spec
from you, please?
621
00:27:01,978 --> 00:27:03,269
Sure, Gabe.
622
00:27:12,603 --> 00:27:13,728
- Paul!
- Gavin.
623
00:27:13,812 --> 00:27:14,937
Did the deal close?
624
00:27:15,019 --> 00:27:16,353
- It did.
- What'd I tell you?
625
00:27:16,436 --> 00:27:18,645
Did you actually look at
the specifics of the deal?
626
00:27:18,728 --> 00:27:21,103
I didn't have to.
Did we have to shut some divisions?
627
00:27:21,186 --> 00:27:22,829
Of course. Will some
people have to sacrifice
628
00:27:22,853 --> 00:27:24,978
their pensions and the like?
Well, that's up to you,
629
00:27:25,061 --> 00:27:27,978
but we all have to make
sacrifices for the cause.
630
00:27:28,061 --> 00:27:30,228
I really wish you had
looked at these numbers.
631
00:27:30,311 --> 00:27:32,520
The new Hooli will be
significantly smaller.
632
00:27:32,603 --> 00:27:34,812
But you just said Hooli.
Did you hear that?
633
00:27:34,895 --> 00:27:36,812
And that's all that
really matters.
634
00:27:36,895 --> 00:27:38,895
- So, make it work.
- Yes, I've been trying.
635
00:27:38,978 --> 00:27:40,728
To-to that end, uh,
636
00:27:40,812 --> 00:27:43,144
since we have so many
employees moving to Amazon,
637
00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:46,603
we don't need as much space
and we need to reduce cost.
638
00:27:46,687 --> 00:27:48,269
- So...
- What is going on?
639
00:27:48,353 --> 00:27:51,311
Why is their logo
bigger than ours?
640
00:27:51,395 --> 00:27:54,478
Because, technically,
we are now subletting from them.
641
00:27:54,561 --> 00:27:56,496
It was the only way Hooli
could afford to stay here.
642
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,353
You're telling me that
El Pollo Loco corporate
643
00:27:58,436 --> 00:28:00,186
has more employees than we do?
644
00:28:00,269 --> 00:28:02,186
How many divisions
did I just give up?
645
00:28:02,269 --> 00:28:03,853
We need to fix this! Now!
646
00:28:03,937 --> 00:28:05,311
The term sheet is binding,
647
00:28:05,395 --> 00:28:08,228
and, as of this morning,
I now work at Amazon.
648
00:28:11,436 --> 00:28:12,853
Be well, Gavin.
649
00:28:16,144 --> 00:28:17,603
Fuck!
650
00:28:17,687 --> 00:28:20,186
What do you mean,
"Am I still happy at Pied Piper?"
651
00:28:20,269 --> 00:28:22,061
W-why would you
even ask me that?
652
00:28:22,978 --> 00:28:24,162
Well, I know you're
my therapist.
653
00:28:24,186 --> 00:28:25,704
I was there when
the court appointed you.
654
00:28:25,728 --> 00:28:28,061
But I-I let my desire
to be around Richard,
655
00:28:28,144 --> 00:28:29,436
and to be needed by him,
656
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,103
turn me into some kind
of a craven yes-man,
657
00:28:32,186 --> 00:28:33,937
and it clouded my judgment,
658
00:28:34,019 --> 00:28:35,770
and I led him down
a horrible path.
659
00:28:37,269 --> 00:28:38,311
What?
660
00:28:38,895 --> 00:28:42,311
I'm not... I'm not gonna dignify that.
Of course I belong there.
661
00:28:42,395 --> 00:28:44,478
Where else would
I possibly belong?
662
00:28:45,103 --> 00:28:46,728
All right, well,
663
00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:49,228
I'm home, so...
664
00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,520
I guess we're gonna have
to, uh...
665
00:28:51,603 --> 00:28:53,019
Jared?
666
00:28:53,770 --> 00:28:55,436
What are you doing here?
667
00:29:00,478 --> 00:29:02,478
I-I don't know.
668
00:29:02,561 --> 00:29:04,978
Thought you moved out?
669
00:29:07,186 --> 00:29:09,561
It's Big Head, from here.
670
00:29:10,853 --> 00:29:13,019
The garage hasn't changed a bit.
671
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,395
Although, the rodents
are back in force.
672
00:29:16,478 --> 00:29:17,895
Oh, cool.
673
00:29:17,978 --> 00:29:19,228
Big Head,
674
00:29:19,311 --> 00:29:21,019
I need to talk to
you about business.
675
00:29:21,395 --> 00:29:24,395
- Oh hi, Jared.
- Jian-Yang, I was just
676
00:29:24,478 --> 00:29:26,728
taking a little walk
down memory lane...
677
00:29:26,812 --> 00:29:29,311
Can you stay or go?
This is not interesting to me.
678
00:29:29,895 --> 00:29:31,103
Big Head,
679
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:33,520
we need to kick Gwart
out of the incubator.
680
00:29:33,603 --> 00:29:36,186
Oh, really?
I thought we like Gwart.
681
00:29:36,269 --> 00:29:37,645
Oh, damn it.
682
00:29:37,728 --> 00:29:38,520
Gwart?
683
00:29:38,603 --> 00:29:40,853
Gwart has a very good idea,
684
00:29:40,937 --> 00:29:42,019
very good software,
685
00:29:42,103 --> 00:29:45,061
but when I ask her
for business plan,
686
00:29:45,144 --> 00:29:47,269
she doesn't have
a business plan.
687
00:29:47,353 --> 00:29:48,978
She's a brilliant coder,
688
00:29:49,061 --> 00:29:51,978
but this is not a charity.
689
00:29:52,061 --> 00:29:54,436
She's also not very friendly.
690
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,770
It's a bad for the vibe.
691
00:29:56,853 --> 00:30:01,311
This place should be
a cool hang.
692
00:30:01,895 --> 00:30:03,645
I got you some new cans,
by the way.
693
00:30:03,728 --> 00:30:06,228
Thank you, Big Head.
694
00:30:10,853 --> 00:30:12,770
Nice.
695
00:30:15,728 --> 00:30:16,853
Hey.
696
00:30:16,937 --> 00:30:19,061
Looks like you could
use a little help?
697
00:30:19,144 --> 00:30:20,728
May I?
698
00:30:32,061 --> 00:30:33,353
Hi, I'm Jared.
699
00:31:52,687 --> 00:31:56,228
A man offered us
a billion dollars.
700
00:31:56,311 --> 00:31:57,645
You said, "no."
701
00:31:57,728 --> 00:31:59,561
A very bad man.
And he would have turned us
702
00:31:59,645 --> 00:32:01,436
into the worst possible version
of ourselves.
703
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,080
I mean, you can't put a price
on ethics.
704
00:32:03,311 --> 00:32:05,061
But it seems you just did.
705
00:32:05,436 --> 00:32:07,186
One billion dollars.
706
00:32:08,645 --> 00:32:10,371
I will be asking
the tech community
707
00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:12,144
to sign their name onto this.
708
00:32:12,353 --> 00:32:14,812
Tech ethics.
Or tethics for short.
709
00:32:14,895 --> 00:32:16,478
No one in town
is ever gonna sign
710
00:32:16,561 --> 00:32:18,395
this hypocrite's
hypocritical garbage.
711
00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:19,478
Hey, Richard.
712
00:32:20,353 --> 00:32:21,436
Ah... what?
713
00:32:22,144 --> 00:32:24,561
- It's my resignation letter.
- What?
714
00:32:24,812 --> 00:32:26,186
Pied Piper isn't
the same company
715
00:32:26,269 --> 00:32:28,687
that I signed up for.
She has different needs now.
716
00:32:28,895 --> 00:32:30,645
You buddy fucker.
717
00:32:30,728 --> 00:32:31,853
I'm not a buddy fucker.
718
00:32:31,937 --> 00:32:33,120
I am your buddy,
719
00:32:33,144 --> 00:32:35,186
and you are fucking me. Ergo...
720
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:36,853
you are a buddy fucker.
721
00:32:37,853 --> 00:32:39,228
- See the logo?
- Russ.
722
00:32:39,311 --> 00:32:41,103
Check it!
723
00:32:41,186 --> 00:32:44,687
One, two, three. Boom!
Tres commas tequila. Boom!
724
00:32:44,937 --> 00:32:46,645
Dollar sign, boom!
Billionaire, boom!
725
00:32:46,728 --> 00:32:49,520
Russ, boom! Fest, boom!
Russfest!
726
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,186
You're not doing anything
illegal here, are you?
727
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:56,812
Fuck the police.
52497
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