All language subtitles for Schooled s02e09_English

LAINEY:
Back in the '90s, a new craze
was sweeping the nation.

That's right... Pokemon.

It was a Japanese
trading card game

the kids couldn't
get enough of.

And it was so popular,

William Penn had its own club
dedicated to it.

Dude! You can't use
the Charizard.
It's paralyzed.

Whoa!
Gabe, Pika-chill, bro.

While Charizard is paralyzed,
Brooke used the full heal,

which, as everybody knows,
has the ability to...

Un-paralyze your Pokemon.
I suck.

And that's why they
pay me to teach.

I'll get you there, pal.

LAINEY: And no one
loved Pokemon more
than Toby Murphy,

who also happened to be the
son of Mellor's lady pal.

MELLOR: Hey, Big T!

Couldn't help but notice
you collect trading cards.

Yeah.
You collect, too?

Hell yeah!
What are these?

My old baseball cards.

Thanks, but this isn't
really my thing,

because baseball is...

Not good.

I read ya
loud and clear.

We'll collect
basketball cards.
Eh.

Football?
Maybe.

Hockey?
Ew.

Soccer?
Do they even make...

It's cool.

We'll do baseball.
Hot dog!

And we'll start with two
of the greatest players
the game has ever seen...

Ken Griffey Jr.
and Ken Griffey Sr.

That's right,
they're father and son.

And?

And not only did they play
on the same team,

but one game,
they both...

(VOICE BREAKING)
...hit back-to-back
home runs.

You okay, dude?

I gotta go do
a man-thing.

**

Um, Rick?

I think it's really sweet
that you've been trying
to bond with Toby.

Well, with no luck.
I've tried everything.

Sunrise boot camp,
watching game tape,

eating cod, chatting
about vitamin supplements,

casual shadow boxing.

Yeah, I was there.

And then I saw him
with trading cards,

and I thought
this one was it.

But the cards he collects
are Pokemon.

It's this game from Japan.

Well, if it's anything
like Benihana,
it's got my vote.

It's literally nothing
like Benihana,
but just as fun.

Maybe Toby
could teach you.

Oh, I'll learn
this Pokemon
but good.

'Cause when it comes
to learning,

Rick T. Mellor
needs no help.

Rick T. Mellor needs help!
It's important!

So is the Pennsylvania
State Aptitude Test.

I need you to teach
me everything you
know about Pokemon!

Class is over!

Clear the room!
Let's go! Come on!

* One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here

* Live your life
and finally be free

* Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

LAINEY: It was December 4th,
1990-something,

and I was ready
to head home.

My car, not so much.

CARLA: Need a jump?

It was Carla, my delinquent
high-school friend
who once stole a car,

and now she drove
a Porsche?

All I could say was...

No.
Oh, yes.

And it's not even
stolen this time.

I actually got, like,
an official real-person job.

I sell drugs.

I'm not sure
I'd call that "official."

No, silly.

I'm a pharmaceutical rep.

They pay me to flirt with
rich doctors and sell pills.

Aw. Look at you operating
within the bounds
of the legal system.

I'm legit proud.

And I'm legit proud
of you for teaching

my dumb-ass little brother
not to be such a dumb-ass.

Yo, Weez!

Come on,
it's Mom's birthday,

and you know she only
talks to me if you're there.

Still can't believe
your kid brother grew up

to be captain
of the football team.

Remember when
we nicknamed him
"Weasel"?

He was so tiny and bitey

and always poking his annoying
little head into our business.

And the craziest of all?

He's actually
one of my favorite
students.

That's depressing.
Hey, Ms. Lewis.

Your door's on the ground.

I'm gonna go now.

**

Hello, John.
Aah!

We need to talk.
You should sit.

You should stand.

You're sitting in my chair,
with your feet on my desk?

Oh, man! That's where
I eat my yogurt!

I work more
than 10 hours
a day here,

and for some reason,
I'm still broke.

I thought it was
a clerical error,
'cause I work

more than enough hours
to afford a lavish lifestyle,

but turns out,
it's, like, super hard

to earn a living
with a teacher's salary.

And this is
new information
for you?

Well, of course I knew
teachers don't make enough,

but now that I'm in it,
I'm like, "Oh, God, no!"

That's why I'm here
to demand a raise.

Double my salary.
Non-negotiable, John.

Well, if I can't negotiate,
I guess I have no choice

but to write you
a check.

Wow.
(CHUCKLING) Okay.

I should've asked
for this way sooner.

Whoo!
Let's do this thing.

But, you know,
doubling your salary

will definitely cover
a new car and clothing,

but what about, uh,
fine dining and travel?

You're right!

I love those things
and didn't factor them in.

You know what? I'm gonna
write you a check for 80k flat

and you can decide
what to do with the money.

Done!
There you go.

This is just a Post-it
with "Go away" on it.

Is it?
That's weird.

Seriously,
I'd like my money now.

Look, even though we don't
get paid in actual riches,

every day, we get
the greatest treasure
of all...

That incredible feeling
you get inside

when you help a student.

And that's awesome.

But I'd also like
some actual treasure

so I can go
buy a Porsche.

Where's this coming from?

I ran into Carla,

and she has an actual job
and makes actual money.

Carla?

The girl I suspected
carried a butterfly knife
but could never prove it?

Teaching has
been amazing,
but I'm broke.

You can't compare our job
to the rest of the world.

You work in a school,

so if all that stuff
really matters,

you gotta get
a part-time job.

Ew! No!

I already have a job,
and it's super hard
and exhausting.

I honestly deserve
to be paid more.

Correct. You and every other
single teacher in America.

Then let's do something
about it.

I suppose we could call
the CEO of the National
Teachers Council

and get them to change
the entire educational system.

Let's do it to it!
All right, then.

I'm dialing them
right now.

Give me the room.
There you go.

MALE VOICE: Hello,
and welcome to Moviefone!
(LAUGHS)

For Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitter's Dead,
press 1!

(LAUGHING) Ohh!
Really?

Oh, I needed that.
That was a good one.

Thank you so much, Lain.
You're the best. (LAUGHS)

LAINEY: While I was getting
a crash course in being broke,

Mellor was learning a way
to bond with Toby.

Pink space alien pig girl!

Jigglypuff.

Maybe don't just say
exactly what you see.

On it.
Hit me again.

LAINEY: Next up was Mr. Mime.

Goofy unemployed mime guy.

Then the delightful Diglett.

Doody with a face on it.

And finally, Mewtwo.

Sexy cat
with ripped quads!

We've been over this
10 times.

Maybe you should
go play catch with Toby.

I don't want to
just push him
into what I like.

I had that growing up
with my Step Brad.

He was my stepdad,
but his name was...

Brad.
I-I-I got it.

Brad was a pitcher who never
made it in the Major League,

so he just pressured me
into playing baseball.

Aw, so there was
something you wanted to
do instead of baseball?

Yes.

Softball.

Isn't that
the same thing?

Point is, I vowed long ago
to never be

an obsessed sports dad,
like my Step Brad.

Then damn it,
I'm gonna teach
you Pokemon.

LAINEY: CB was going
to use the language

that Mellor understood
best... Sports.

And then the game begins

when the manager sends out
their best batter,

in this case,
the lovably beefy
John Kruk,

or...
Jigglypuff.

CB: Lullaby attack!

But who's out in the outfield
waiting to stop him?

Sandy Alomar, or...

Charmeleon.

Flamethrower attack!

I have nothing left
to teach you.

LAINEY: But Coach Mellor
wasn't the only one

trying to broaden his
horizons.

Hey, Weez.

You do know
you've been staring
at that

Quaker's Dozen sign-up sheet
for, like, two minutes?

Only 'cause
singing is for
total losers,

and I do not want
to secretly do it...

Like, really bad.

Then you should audition.

Ronnie's our quarterback,
and the guy was the lead
in Rent last year.

And got ripped on.

The whole team
still calls him

"Dumb Ronnie Who Likes
to Dance and Sing Sometimes."

That's a very literal
nickname.

Thanks. I worked
super hard on it.

At least let me give you
a few singing lessons, okay?

No judgment.
I'll think about it.

Yo, Weez!

We got practice.

I've thunk about it,
and not a chance.

Weasel...
(SIGHS)

Um...
What's going on here?

Just trying to make
some extra cash.

Singing lessons
are my side hustle.

They're the only way
I can buy groceries

and a NASA-grade telescope.

I need them both to live.

Okay, I guess I can
just give guitar lessons.

The hell you will.
That's my jam.

I didn't know
you played guitar.

I don't. I'm only two lessons
ahead of the kids I teach,

and it's
incredibly stressful.

Okay,
guess I can just tutor.

Better not be
for math, science,
English, or the SATs,

'cause I got that
locked down.

LAINEY: All the after-school
jobs were taken,

so I used the '90s version
of LinkedIn...

The "Help Wanted" ads.

'Sup, dude?
I, uh, saw that
West Coast Video

was on the hunt
for a part-time
sales associate.

You got the job.
Don't you need to do, like,

a background check
or an interview?

Have you ever rented
and watched a movie?

Yes.
Here's your vest.

Wow. Thank you.
When do I start?
You already did.

I'm gonna pop over to Wawa
and grab a hoagie.

Wow. Okay.
Already delegating.

Good call, boss.

Maybe, like,
tell me what to do?

You rent the movies
to the people who want
to rent movies.

You said
in your interview

you knew how
this whole thing worked.

Oh, yeah. It's fine.
I'm sure I'll figure it out.

And...he's gone.

While I had a new job, Mellor
had a new "in" with Toby.

Who's gotta catch 'em all?

Big T! That's who.

Whoa! What's with
all the Pokemon cards?

Those are for you, pal.

Cleaned out Toys "R" Us
so we can build
a deck together.

Dude! You pulled
a Charizard holo!

Is that good?

It's super rare!
It's worth, like, $100!

And it can change
all your attached energy
to fire energy.

Hey, how'd
you know that?

I thought you were
into, like, baseball cards.

Pokemon is baseball,

just with monsters
and magic and completely
different rules.

Can't wait to show
this bad boy off tomorrow.

If you want, I can come by
CB's club and cheer you on.

Maybe you can
help me practice?

Sure can, pal.

You're a good man,
Rick Mellor.

Thanks, but all that
matters to me

is I'm not some crazy,
selfish sports dad.

Yeah-ha!

That's how it's done,
baby! All right!

In your face, loser!

You lost!

Loser Gabe
who loses to Toby!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Take it down, pal.

That was the best game
you've ever seen,
and you know it!

The boy's a champ!

Oh, man.
My heart's beating
so fast right now!

I mean,
I bought him those cards,

we practiced at home,
he won,

which is like we won,
which is like I won!

Rick, um...

You got into cards

so that you wouldn't become
a crazy sports dad.

And I can't be,
because this
is not a sport.

There's no such thing
as a Japanese trading card
dad.

You suck, Gabe!

Aah! Yeah!

Undefeated hero
coming through!

Toby! Toby!

**

LAINEY: It had been
a week since I started
my second job,

and turns out, it was a place
my students went all the time.

Good afternoon. Can I interest
you in one of Andre's Picks?

Fair warning...
They're all documentaries,
so they're boring.

Um, I just want
to rent Evita.

I-I mean, it's for my mom,
who's super lame

and loves to sing
Don't Cry for Me Argentina

alone in my bedroom
when my mom's not home.

Tell your "mom"
to stop being such a wuss

and sign up for choir
already.

Dude, you work here?
I'm out!

What the hell was that?

Oh, I'm his music teacher.

Inspiring him
to pursue his dreams.

It's what I do.
No big.

Why didn't you tell me?

Why is me being a teacher
a problem?

'Cause it's weird!

LAINEY: He was right.
It did get kind of weird.

What is happening?
I work here.

We're renting a movie
from our teacher!

Run!

I need your vest back.

No! I really need
the extra money, dude.

Please.
I can fix this.

How the hell
am I gonna fix this?

You can't. Students are
used to seeing us here,
in our natural habitat.

Teachers aren't meant
to interact with them
out in the wild.

As far as they know,
when the school day ends,

we all sleep here,
like bats,

hanging upside down
in the classrooms.

That's why
to earn extra income,

we tutor here,
on home ground.

It's always been this way.

In fact,
back in olden times,

when a schoolmaster
had to work part time
as a blacksmith,

all of his pupils
went to a different barn

to obtain
their much-needed
horseshoes.

While all those
facts are wrong,
she's generally right.

It sucks,
but it can't be fixed.

Well, neither can my car,
so watch and learn.

Please don't do this.

Attention, students!

I'm out.
I can't be here.

Apparently,
it's crazy awkward

to have your teacher
also rent you videos.

Well, too bad. We have
actual lives, just like you.

Yeah, we get it.
We'd just rather not see it.

It's nothing personal.

It's just,
spotting your teacher
out in the world

doing normal stuff
is...off.

Off? How?

One time,
I saw Glascott
at the beach,

uh, wearing jelly sandals,
with white stuff on his nose,

and it was
deeply unsettling.

It was
peak sun exposure hour.

You zipped off the bottom half
of your cargo shorts,

and I saw your calves,
man.

My legs need to breathe,
just like everyone else's.

Well, I saw you at Applebee's
eating pizza with a fork.

It was, like,
sad and haunting.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Please!

I eat pizza
like a normal human.

Just rent your videos
from me!

While I was desperate
to get my kids on board,

Coach Mellor was crushing it
as a Pokemon dad.

Yep, he was gonna take Toby
straight to the top.

* Y'all gonna make me
go all out

* Up in here, up in here

* Ain't nothing
y'all can do now *

Okay, Toby,
look at me.

This is why we've been running
two-a-days all week.

This game separates
the Pokeboys
from the Pokemen.

Wow. Um...
Wow. Okay.

Mm.
Sorry, guys.

Uh, players just started
their first round.

Toby's not starting?
He's the best player you got.

Well, he'll play
the next round.

So, he's supposed to
ride the pine

while Gabe
gets play time?

Gabe?

Oh, don't worry
about this.

Use this as fuel,
buddy.

Go out there and crush Gabe
and make me proud.

I mean,
I'll...try my best.

Okay, yeah, I-I...
Of course you will.
I know that.

But that's not
what I'm asking you.

See, I need you
to go out there and do

better than the best
you can.

No pressure, but I just loved
watching my boy win last time,

so if you could
please only win
from here on out,

'cause that feeling
is unmatched!

And it's on you
to give it to me.

No pressure.

Uh, kinda feeling
the pressure.
Don't!

I'll still care about you
if you lose.

But I'll have lost
a lot of pride,

and it just won't be
the same.

Now go get 'em, tiger.
Come on.

Hey, um, you know,
why don't you give
Toby some space?

But he needs me
to shout support
and aggressive advice.

You can totally do that,
but just maybe...

Just from, like,
the hallway.

LAINEY: Coach
had gotten shut out,

but I saw an opening to get
my kids renting videos again.

Look what I have.
Evita.

You know, the movie you've
apparently rented 16 times.

Shh!

Can you please be cool
and not tell anyone

my dream is to sing
in a modern day opera?

Two conditions.

One, you audition
for Quaker's Dozen.

Fine. But only
'cause I super want to.

Two, you tell all your friends
to rent their movies from me.

Come on.
It's too weird.

Like, this one time,
I saw Glascott

at a Ross Dress for Less
buying a Velcro wallet.

Okay, real-world Glascott
is unsettling,

but I'm different.

In fact, I'm willing
to rent out R-rated movies.

No questions asked.

LAINEY: And so I started
the greatest side hustle

in William Penn history.

The kids would grab
a PG-rated movie.

After some sleight-of-hand
misdirection,

I'd get slipped
their R-rated request.

See, back in the day,

video stores
didn't leave tapes out.

Employees had to get them
from behind the counter,

which made it easy to slip in
an R-rated movie instead.

It was the perfect crime.

* Up in here, up in here

(CASH REGISTER DINGING)

What was that?

What was what?

You just very blatantly
rented an R-rated movie

to three kids
that you teach,

and then they gave you
a sizable kickback
into the tip jar.

Here's my vest.

To be clear...

I hate this job,
and I want in.

* I bring down rains so heavy,
it curse the head *

LAINEY: Thanks to me,
West Coast Video

was getting more business
than ever.

I was well on my way to being
the only teacher...

(CASH REGISTER DINGING)
...with a Porsche.

Or, at least,
a used Jetta.

Thanks to my brilliant plan,

I was swimming in cash
and Pixie Stix.

Nothing could stop us.
Until...

Yeah, which one of you
rented my daughter Se7en
instead of Stuart Little?

You're fired.

Here's the vest.

While I was getting fired,
Mellor was fired up
to take Toby to the pros.

The Pokemon
Tropical Mega Battle
begins in three weeks,

and we've got work
to do to qualify.

Tropic Mega What?

It's an international
Pokemon tournament

held at
the Hilton Hawaiian Village

in sunny Honolulu.

You seriously want Toby
to skip a month of school

so he can play
a fantasy card game?

We don't have to go
for the full month...

Just for the main events.

And, of course,

Japanese musician/trading card
game artist Tomoaki Imakuni,

who will perform
Gunyagunya Gasu Gasu.

Is this even real?

It is 100% real.

All we need is $9,000

for hotel, entrance fee,
and plane fare.

We will be using
your SkyMiles, Julie.

Well, I'd rather
just be a kid
and do school.

So it's settled. No.

Don't listen to her, son.

She may not believe
in you, but I do.

Well, don't!

I quit that club, so you can
forget about Honolulu.

You quit? Why?

'Cause you put all this
pressure on me,
and it stopped being fun.

But...

This was our thing.

Yeah, it used to be...
Till you ruined it.

Thanks a lot.

**

It's cool. I'm...

I know how to handle this.
I deal with kids all day.

You can't handle this one
like you're a teacher, Rick.

We both know that
you're more than
that to him.

At least...you were.

**

LAINEY: After losing
my second job
at the video store,

my actual job
was looking rather shaky.

Okay, okay, e-everyone,
calm down, please.

I'm sure Lainey has
a perfectly reasonable
explanation

as to why she rented
your children R-rated movies.

Look, your kids
are in high school.

They're gonna watch R-rated
movies with or without me.

In fact, I actually
introduced them

to some of the world's
greatest films

that happen to be rated R,
like The Godfather.

Ooh! Best Picture
of the year.

And Braveheart.
Historical and entertaining

And The Matrix.

Ooh! They walk on walls.

I educated them
outside
of the classroom.

So, really,
I went above and beyond.

And that is a perfectly
reasonable explanation.

So, how exactly is the movie
Showgirls educational?

That...shows you
what will happen

if you don't
stay in school.

And what would you say
is the educational value
of American Pie?

I haven't seen it,
but one can only assume

that it refers
to the Don McLean song

about that tragic
plane crash.

It's about a kid
who puts his (BLEEP)
in a pie.

What?

No!

Lainey, no!

Why, Lainey? Why?

I'm sorry!
I messed up!

Something has to be done
about this, John.
LAINEY: They're right.

I got so caught up
in comparing my life
to others,

I forgot
what really matters.

So I understand that
you gotta do
what you gotta do.

And you know
what that is?

To tell you all you should be
ashamed of yourselves.

Excuse me?
Has it occurred to you

why one of my best teachers is
working at that store anyways?

It's so she can afford
to keep teaching your kids,

which she loves,
while still making
ends meet.

Now, I'm sure Lainey knows
that she was wrong
and has to quit that job.

I was already fired.

She was already fired!

So, instead of
getting on her case

about a couple
of nudie bakery movies,

you should be thanking
this wonderful teacher

for her tireless work
and dedication.

Thank you.
Thanks.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.
I can't believe
I'm not fired.

I know, right?

Honestly,
it means so much

that you stuck up
for me like that.

I'm just doing my job, like
you're always doing yours.

Speaking of doing
my job...

Weasel, enough staring
at the sign-up sheet,
already.

Let's go.
You're auditioning
for Quaker's Dozen.

Take it from me.
Stop caring what
other people think.

(INTRO PLAYS)
Just do your best.

(QUIETLY)
* I could stay awake

* Just to hear you
breathing

Can't hear you, bud.

(LOUDER)
* Watch you smile
while you are sleeping

Little louder, please.

Pretend you're Evita!

(LOUDER)
* Oh, every moment
spent with you

* Is a moment I treasure

Ooh!
Sweet Steven Tyler!

* I don't want
to close my eyes

Honestly, I thought
you were gonna suck.

* I don't want to fall asleep

* 'Cause I'd miss you, babe

* And I don't want
to miss a thing

* 'Cause even
when I dream of you

* The sweetest dreams
would never do

* I'd still miss you, babe

* And I don't want
to miss a thing

(CHEERING)

(VOICE BREAKING)
I just never knew

my little Weez
had this in him.

Thank you.

Don't thank me.
I'm just doing my job.

* Lying close to you

* Feeling your heart beating *

How do you feel
right now?

Well, it can't
buy me a Porsche, but...

(CHUCKLES)

...this right here
is priceless.

Here.

I think
you've earned this.

Probably not the best time
to go over some
budget proposal.

It's to get you a raise.

All of my teachers.

What?
Is that even possible?

God, no.

But I'm sure as hell
gonna try.

(SIGHS)

LAINEY: The one thing
you can't put a number on

is the love and support
of those around you...

Though sometimes
they have to learn
how to show that support.

Hey. I didn't see
you and Big T
after school today.

Yeah, well, the kid's taking
a permanent Poke-break.

Got a tad carried away,
huh?

A tad? You know,
I swore I'd be different

if I ever got the chance
to be a dad to someone.

But in the end, I became
the exact thing
I said I'd never be.

But the difference
between you
and Step Brad

is you're willing
to change.

That's what
really matters.

LAINEY: And when you care
about somebody,

you do whatever it takes.

Don't mind me, kid.
I'm just poppin' some packs.

I told you,
I'm done with Pokemon.

These cards aren't for you.
I'm building my own deck.

For what?

Fun.

Maybe...sometime,
we can hang
and trade cards.

How's about
we have a catch instead?

You ever throw a softball?
Way more fun.

LAINEY: Turns out,
the people we love
only want to help us

become the best versions
of ourselves,

and sometimes that means
broadening our horizons.

But in the end, that's what
makes us closer than ever.

LAINEY: It's become
embarrassingly clear

that your knowledge of R-rated
films is extremely lacking,

so it's time
for a crash course.

I'm in. Hit me.

We'll start
with Wild Things.

Those girls were just
punching each other
in the face,

and now they're kissing?

That does not
feel earned.

Why would Demi Moore do
this Striptease movie?

I like her better when she's
making pottery with a ghost.

I don't see what the big deal
is with this Basic Instinct.

And...now I see it.

Are they allowed
to do that?

Okay, wait, they're
gonna take his face off

and then take
that guy's face off

and then put the faces
on the other guy?

What's this called?

Face/Off.

Ohh! I liked Se7en
so much better

when I didn't know
what was in the box!