All language subtitles for Safe.Spaces.2019

[Josh] Well, what did people
think? Uh, someone besides--

-OK, Deacon, go ahead.
-[Deacon] It felt
like wish fulfillment,

to me, right?

-In what way?
-Like, OK. Something that--

like, something I didn't buy
that she would really do.

I'm not saying, like, you,
Sarah, like, I don't know you.

I'm just saying the character
of Sarah in the story.

-I didn't buy it.
Just felt totally disingenuous.
-OK, yeah,

-we got it, Deacon.
-[class chuckling]

Sarah, what do you think of
that? First of all, was this,

was this story based on
a date you really went on?

[chuckles] Well, sadly it was.

No, not sadly.
That's good. It reads
that way, it reads authentic.

It reads like you were there.
And this guy, uh,

Dan, he really spoke to
the waiter that way?

-Spoke to you that way?
-He did. Almost
verbatim, actually.

-I'm not saying that
he didn't say whatever--
-[Josh] Shh. Shush, shush.

Deacon, Deacon, please.
Two seconds.

Did you, Sarah, really pretend
to go to the bathroom and never
come back on this date?

Well, see, I should've
and honestly thought about it--

-Oh, my God. See?!
-Deacon! Shut up!

-Shut up!
-[class laughing]

-Sarah.
-[class chuckling]

Sorry.

What really happened after?

'Cause something happened.

-[Sarah chuckles]
-Come on, come on.
To hell with all these people.

-[whispers] To hell with Deacon.
-[class chuckles]

-OK. [Sarah chuckles]
-Tell me what happened.

Tell me what happened.

If you, if you want to.

-OK.
-Really?

OK, oh. This is gonna
be good, I can tell already
by the look on your face.

Buckle up.

Well, we went back
to his apartment

and he asked.

-Uh-huh.
-You really want me to say?

-Yes! I think we all do.
-[Sarah chuckles]

Well, he asked to...

if he could

jerk off on my butt,
and I let him.

-[class chuckling]
-[Josh laughing]

Dan jerked off on your butt.

-And then did he just leave?
-[class chuckles]

-[Sarah chuckles]
-And you didn't write that?!

Oh, my God! I wish Dan would
jerk off on my butt

so I could write that
story right now.

That's amazing. How many people
respond more to the jerking

off on the butt bit
than they did in
the entire restaurant scene?

Look at that! Look at that.

-[Sarah chuckles]
-[Josh] Come on, Deacon!

-Yeah.
-Yeah, 'cause it's fucking gold.
And do you know why?

It's real. We're writers.

We're lucky we get to
turn these embarrassing,
sometimes painful things

into art.

We get to cheer
people up with it.

What a great gift you can
give people. What a great gift
you can give yourself.

We're lucky we get to do that.

Embarrass yourself, Sarah.

Write what hurts.

[somber music]

[phone ringing]

[man grunts]

[woman on phone] Hello?

-Josh.
-[Josh] Hold on. Hold on.

Are you up?

-Josh, are you up?
-Yeah.

-You're up. OK. Hi.
-Is she dead?

-Just tell me that she died.
-No, Grandma is not dead.

Listen, I need a place to stay
tonight, OK?

Can I please crash
at your place, please?

[Josh on phone] Jackie, no.
I was at the hospital

till one o'clock.
Are you all right?

-Sorry, it's my sister.
Go back to--
-I'm fine but,

but I need a place to stay,
OK? I literally got
into a huge fight.

What did you fight about?

Uh, nothing. Who are you
talking to right now?

What? Nobody.
What do you mean nothing.

What do you mean nobody.
I just heard you say, "Go back
to sleep, it's my sister"

Somebody there with you? Is that
why you're not letting me up?

Come on, man. It's late.
I gotta meet Runciter at 7:30
in the morning, so.

What time is it, even?
Oh, my God.

-I need you to call me an Uber.
-Why?

-My credit card's not working...
-What do you mean?

...and I don't understand why.
Just do this for me!

All right. Jesus. Fine, hold on.

-I had a horrible day. Spent
the whole day at the hospital.
-OK, I'm doing it.

-Even worse than--
-How about,
how about an Uber Pool, huh?

-It'll be fun meeting people.
-Josh, I'm not getting
in an Uber Pool...

-OK, OK.
-...at 4:00 a.m. by myself.

OK, it's coming.

[Jackie sighs] Thank you.

[sirens in the distance]

Fuck.

[upbeat music]

[distant chattering]

-[Jackie] Hi. How are you.
-[Josh] Could I have the sesame

-uh, sesame bagel toasted.
-could I have the bagel

-not toasted, regular.
-A little bit of butter
just on one side.

-And tofu scallion Cream cheese?
But not too much.
-A peach Snapple in a to-go cup

-with a lid and some ice with...
-An iced coffee with
a little almond

-milk, not too much.
-...a straw, that would
be great. Thank you.

I don't like using these apps.
We should support yellow cabs.

-You know?
-Mm-hmm.

There aren't going
to be any left to hail

-when you need them.
-Absolutely.

Um, so--

What was did you fight
with Owen about?

I don't want to talk about that.

I want to talk about
your gorgeous immigrant.

Oh, Caterina?

-Yeah, her.
-I met her in Italy.

She's a student at the Brooklyn
Shakespeare Conservatory.

She's an actress.

-Actor.
-Met her in Florence?

Yeah, when I was teaching
there last summer.

OK, 'cause you
were a teacher, yeah.

I taught play writing,
she's an actress.

-So, she's your student.
-She's a student.

A grad student. Not my student.

-Hey, hey, hey.
-And I feel fine about it.

And you live together now.

Well, she likes my apartment,
I like the company.

-Yeah, I get lonely
since Julie left.
-So, fucking great.

-I'm happy for you guys.
I think it's really--
-Thank you.

I think it's a really
exciting step for you.

Thank you.

[Josh] What are you doing here?

Mom bailed so I slept here.

-Ah.
-You just missed Runciter.

What? what do you mean
I missed him? He wasn't
supposed to be here till 7:30.

-Dave, it's 7:05.
-Well, to tell you, I barely
got two minutes with him.

-He came early,
that's why I stayed here.
-Well, I wish you had called me

-'cause I had questions for him.
-Well, you know, why don't you
write it down, Josh.

-Maybe I will.
-OK, maybe you should.

-Keep your thoughts in order.
-Yeah, thank you

-for spending the night.
-Yeah, well, how is she doing?
Is she still coughing so much?

-I haven't heard her
cough since two a.m.
-Holy shit.

-She slept through the night.
-What?

This medication
they gave her for
the fluid in her lungs, the--

-Priceledone.
-Pregnasone.

-Prednisone.
-Presone.

-Prednisone. What'd you say?
-Exactly. It's really good.

It's causing a lot of
strain on her kidneys, so

She's gonna have to go on
dialysis this week
if she keeps using it.

-She's gonna have
to go on dialysis?
-Oh. What about the radiation?

Would she be able to finish
the radiation treatments?

-I'm gonna go in there.
You guys deal with this.
-OK. Good, go.

-All right, well,
what do you say--
-Grandma and Aunt Allie want

-Peterson to chime in, so.
-Well, where's Aunt Allie, then?

-I dunno!
-I got you a bagel.

I don't want a bagel.
I got to go to work.

Hey! Well, thanks
for staying over.

[David] Yeah.

So, OK. All right.

-[Agatha] Are you drinking
that all there?
-[Jackie] Yeah.

-I drink a lot of coffee lately.
-I don't know if
that's so good for you.

-Actually, I read
that it's fine.
-Hey, Grandma!

-Ooh!
-Ooh!

-Sweetheart, look at you.
-Wow. You look

-so much better.
-Because I finally slept.

Thank God I wasn't up
half the night coughing.

-I was going out of my mind.
-[Josh] I know.

-Good old Pregslidone.
-[Jackie] I know, it's true.

-She slept for seven hours.
-Wow.

-She looks hot.
-[Agatha] Yeah.

Well, they gave me
a pill after you left

-and I went right out.
-Yeah, your skin looks
so much better.

You look so much warmer,
like, more color. You want
another shake with ice?

-No, no. Please, no.
-I got it. I know but she--

Just sit down.
Where did David go?

-He left. He had to go to work.
-[Jackie] Yeah, he had to go.

-He's mad at Josh.
-[Agatha] Why?

Oh, 'cause Josh
fucked his nanny.

-And then she quit.
-[Josh] Don't--

Grandma,
we dated for two months,

-it was really nice, and--
-His nanny?

Uh, his nanny, yes. We really
cared about each other.

-Don't tell her
the story like that.
-She likes gossip.

-I do.
-[Jackie] Mm-hmm.

Why don't you tell her about
how you showed up at 4 a.m.

at my apartment after
you fought with Owen.

Or, better yet, tell her
why you're not talking to dad.

-[Jackie] Mm-hmm.
-Some juicy gossip.

Do you know what?
I really would, but like David

and unlike you, I have a job.

-Uh.
-So I have to be
somewhere very soon.

I don't understand
why you say this.

-I'm a professor.
-Yeah.

You're an adjunct professor.

I know. An adjunct professor.

-What is an adjunct?
-It's like, I haven't
gotten full professor.

-It's kind of like a professor.
-It is.

-OK, I have to go to work.
-OK. All right.

But I love you so much, and
I'm going to see you at 6:30.

-OK? I'm going to be back.
-6:30.

-Muah!
-See you later.

[Agatha] Look at me.

I don't like
you and David fighting.

I agree, I don't think
he should be bringing his
negative energy here.

-By the way, where's Mom and--
-I'm coming in for a kiss.

-[Agatha] Oh, OK.
-Because I love you.

-Yeah. Go, dear. Don't be late.
-Don't move.

-OK.
-If you move I will
be mad at you.

-[Agatha chuckling]
-If you leave this room
I will press charges...

-[chuckling] Yeah.
-...against you.

-[Agatha] She's always
been musical.
-I'm fun.

[chuckles] Yeah,
that's really fun.

-Take care. Don't be late.
-Where's Mom and Aunt Allie?

-Who?
-Mom and Aunt Allie,
where are they?

Oh, like I care.

Hey. Melissa, it's me, Josh.

Trying you again.
I'm sorry I keep calling you.

I'd love to resolve
the situation

for the sake of David's girls
who I know miss their nanny.

-Hey, sorry.
-Alan? Alan?!

-Hey! [whistles] Yeah.

OK, so, sorry about that,
if you heard that.
Uh, I hope to talk

to you soon,
and that'd be great if you got
back to me. OK, bye-bye.

-Hey, how's it going?
-I'm sorry I'm late.

OK. Oh, that's OK.
Look at you, you look like
Jewish Timothée Chalamet.

-Unless he is Jewish.
-I dunno.

-I'm more Jewish.
-Thank you.

-Where's, where's your mom?
-She left,

but she said you
needed somebody here.

Left? What are you talking
about? She hasn't been here,
I was here all day.

No, no. She left, left, like,

-on a plane.
She's going to Istanbul.
-Wait, who went to Istanbul?

My mother, she has a trade show.

-Hold on.
-She told Grandma.

Aunt Allie went to
Istanbul just now?

With her mother
in the hospital, uh.

-She had a,
she had a trade show.
-Yeah, OK.

That's interesting.

It's all right, uh. Listen,
will you sit down for a sec?

-I gotta run out
for a few hours.
-Uh-huh.

-And we've been trying to keep
someone around...
-Sure.

...so she has a familiar face,
you know, when she wakes up.

Would you mind just
hanging out with her?

-Oh, like, alone?
-Well, yeah, alone. It's easy.

-She's--
-What does she look like? Scary?

Well, look. She looks
a little different.
You know, she's a little

paler and a little slim,
but mentally she's all there.

It's just Grandma
so just talk to her. It's easy.

Hang out. If she wants to chat,
you know, talk her up.

Keep her distracted.
That's the big thing.

Play Jenga with her,
she loves that.

-OK?
-Yeah.

-OK. Thanks, Josh.
-All right? OK.

-Where you going?
-Huh?

-Where you going?
-I got class so
I really got to go,

but thank you.

It's going to be fine.
You're going to be great.

Thanks. Bye.

[Tiara] Dana's talking
and while they're doing that,

y'all are sitting here making
fucking noises at each other

-like little Daniel--
-We're, no.

-Scott, I'm not talking to you.
-You're yelling.

-But am I talking
to you right now? No!
-And cursing.

-I'm not!
-I'm standing up
for my friend, OK?

Because y'all always do that.

Y'all always stick together.

That is exactly
what she is saying.

[Tiara] Exactly, like,
how are you gonna cut me off

while I'm speaking up for Dana,
who you weren't
even listening to

-in the first fucking place.
-Right.

That is the fucking
definition of misogyny,

-and y'all do it in every class.
-Don't fucking call me

-a misogynist.
-Don't be it then! Don't be it!

Get your hands out of my face,
respect my face.

OK, OK, OK.
So, he's a misogynist,

I'm a racist,
Sebastian's a fucking...

-You're not listening to her.
-...xenophobe.

That's not what she's saying.

-You have to listen,
that's the problem.
-I am listening.

I am listening. OK?

And anyone that does something
that you don't like or don't
agree with

is sexist, or racist,
or homophobic.

-Josh. I'm done.
-And it's always
a straight white male

-and they're not allowed
to defend themselves.
-I'm not staying.

-I get it now. I get it.
-That is not, that is not--

No, no. That's it.

I'm sick of fucking
straight white men.

Every fucking teacher in this
school is a straight white male.

And they never,
ever call you out on it.

Not one of them. But now
I'm calling you out, OK?

I'm sick of the disrespect,
y'all are disgusting,
and I'm over it.

-I'm calling you out.
-Come on, Tiara, uh,

that, that's
not entirely accurate.

All due respect,
and I mean that, uh,

well, the statement
about the teachers

-is not accurate.
-See?

-No, I appreciate.
-Y'all need to just listen!

You legitimately cannot just
shut up and listen!

I'm sorry, Josh. But it is true.

-[Peter] Josh.
-It is the fucking truth.

[Peter] Josh, what do you think?

What do you think, bro?
What do you think?

Well--

It--

[distant chattering]

[woman] Absolutely,
it's our priority.

-Our policy is
always wait and see.
-[knocking]

Hey, there. Oh, sorry, Terry.
You want to see me?

Yeah, Josh, would you mind
closing the door behind you?

Yeah, sure.
[clears throat] Yeah.

Everything OK?

-[Terry] Yeah.
-Hey, Terry.

-Hey, man. Take a seat.
-Sure.

-Uh, thanks for
coming in so quickly.
-Yeah.

I know your grandmother's in
the hospital, how's she doing?

You know, she's actually
a little better now.
Thanks for asking.

Um, look. Guys, I think I know
what this is about, I had a

bit of a crazy class today,
as I'm sure you heard.

And, um, I didn't totally
know how to handle the situation

so I'm glad you called me in,
I was actually gonna talk to
you first, Mary.

This is actually about, um,

-Jennifer Mann, um--
-Oh, no, she wasn't
in the class.

Uh, this is about Thursday's
class not today.

-Jennifer.
-Yeah, she spoke privately

-with me, um.
-OK.

On Friday.

Yeah, 'cause she
was absent for the first time

-this week.
-Yeah, uh, it's nothing major,

it sounds like
an honest mistake,

but we just wanted
to address some things

-she brought to our attention.
-OK, yeah.

Well...

she brought an incident,
to me, where

she felt unsafe
in your classroom, last week.

-Jennifer did? In my classroom?
-Yeah, she was,

she was quite shaken, actually.

Like, I don't know
what this is about,
but I can tell you that I,

I feel kind of unsafe in my
class most days. [chuckles]

Uh... did you talk about

masturbating on a woman's butt
in your class?

OK. OK.

Um...

short answer is, yes. Uh,

Terry, hold on.
All in context of this story

written by a girl in the class,
another girl.

Uh, Sara Reddy. Yeah, I provoked

a conversation about it
but it was--

certainly did not come from me.
It wasn't an experience I had.

Never happened to me,
I don't know

about Terry, but, um,

I thought the whole class
was really into it, but.

I certainly want to apologize
for anything that happened
in that class.

-Josh.
-Look, I know you
didn't mean to.

I know you're a nice guy, gosh.

Enthusiastic. And some of these
students can be very sensitive.

-I guess so.
-But, but in
the current climate--

[Terry] Josh.

-What's going on?
-[Terry] Josh.

You pressured
a student to reveal

an intimate sexual moment

in front of an entire classroom.

-We can't, we can't do that.
-Fine, OK. Let's talk

to Sarah Reddy, why don't
we bring her in here

and ask her how
she felt about it, because

it was her story.
-Sarah wasn't triggered,
actually.

Jennifer Mann was.

And she's a sexual
assault survivor, so.

Jesus, I didn't
know that, really?

-Yeah.
-[Mary] Yeah, it's awful.

It's why Robbie Corbit
left the program.

-Robbie?
-Robbie.

Oh, my God. I wrote him
a letter of recommendation.

-But Jennifer claims that, uh...
-Ay-ya-yay!

...other students felt
uncomfortable, as well.

They didn't know
what to say and,

you know, the whole
thing's a mess.

-We're just trying to--
-Look, I'm sorry.

That's awful about Jennifer,
I had no Idea.

But I, but I,

I take issue with the fact
that other kids in the class

were in any way upset.
That just feels totally untrue.

-You weren't there.
-I'm hearing what's going on
and we're trying to deal

-with this situation.
-Yes, but just from one person.
A person that, I guess, was--

A student.

Yes, who had this experience.
I can't control that.

People were engaged.
It was provocative,
it was actually a great class.

I know you're new here.
And I know you're
new to teaching.

Oh, my God. Come on!
It's a creative writing class!

These are adults!
These are kids who are not kids!

-[stammers] That's the point!
-Do you see that you're
yelling at Mary right now?

When she's just trying
to do her work.

[Mary] He's not yelling at me,

he's just trying to--

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-[Mary] Let's, let's,

let's take a deep breath.

[light music]

[Josh] It's a he said she said
thing, but mostly she said,
I can't say anything.

-So, you fucked her?
-[Josh] What?!

No. Never, I've never
even been alone with her.

Cat, I said to another wom--

it's very hard to explain.
I, I was talking

about this other woman's story,
which was about sex.

And maybe I took it too far
and was inappropriate, I,

-I don't know.
-What woman? Like,

-how old is your student?
-They're young.

Like, 20, 21, but they
don't like to be called girls,

they prefer woman,
it's more, um,

-more equal.
-OK.

[Josh] I'm not being clear,
it was, it was nothing I did,

it was just words.
And so, something I said,
some word I used

-triggered her.
-[Caterina] What do
you mean triggered?

[Josh] Uh, triggered, like,
reminded of something bad.

In this woman's case, uh,
I heard something maybe

happened with her, something bad
happened with her and a man.

You know, like, she was--
like, something bad.

And something I said
made her think about it.

But, so you want to fuck them?

-Your students?
-No.

Uh, that's a complicated
question

I-- not really.

-They're young, they're, like--
-I'm almost same age.

You're European, it's different.

Can we leave my thoughts out
of this and just stick
with my actions?

-But thoughts are kind of
important, too.
-Why?

-Well, maybe--
-[door knocking]

[Josh] Man.

-Maybe that's them.
-You know, you should try

adapting to our culture
a little bit more
while you're here.

Hi, Officer, uh,

is there-- is there a problem?

I'm looking for Jacqueline Cohn.

-[officer] Is she here?
-Jack...

Just one minute, please.

-Uh, hey, Jackie?
-Yeah.

You know--

what the fuck is this?

What do you mean?
I'm recording here.

I can't record at Owen's.
I'm not asking him.

-Remember? I told you.
-I didn't realize
you were gonna record here.

I'm really fucking high, uh,
I've had a long day, and

there's a cop at the door

-asking for you.
-Oh, he's here?

Yeah. Who's he,
what is going on?

-Jackie, what are you doing?
-He's a friend, relax.

Can I-- can you--
What is that shit?

It's like Adderall but it's not.
It's prescribed.

-What do you mean,
it's like Adderall?
-Yeah. Relax!

Do you wanna know what
I think about what
happened in your class?

No, I don't.

OK, fine.

But, can I ask why?

Yeah, 'cause I know you won't

take my side on principle,
and you'll tell me I'm wrong,

you won't hear me out, and it'll

hurt my feelings that
you don't have my back on this.

OK?

OK. I'll tell you later.

[soft piano music]

Hello and welcome to this
edition of "The Latest",

I'm your host, Jackie Cohn,
we have quite the show
for you today.

I've got Black Lives Matter
activist Eugene Wilkes,

and over here from
Blue Lives Matter,

we've got NYPD Police
Sergeant, Michael Morrissey,

as well as
All Lives Matter enthusiast,

shall we say, Monica Erickson.

Now, before I encourage
our listeners

to perhaps turn down
their headphones,

how about a word
from our sponsor?

Blue Apron, oh, the energy in
the room has shifted already.

Tired of ordering
unhealthy takeout

or spending too much at
overpriced restaurants?

Getting a huge vigorous
nod here from the sergeant.

Well, you're in luck, sir,

'cause Blue Apron has
a solution for you.

-[speaking in foreign language]
-[Caterina screams]

Look what I got, look.

-Come on, get--
-[loud slap]

Ow!

No, no, no, no, no.

-[speaking in foreign language]
-No.

-[kick thuds]
-Oh, the balls!

-[Josh groans]
-[loud thud]

Ow.

OK, here we go, rackets out.

Get ready.

Coming at you.

OK, well, you got to--

I don't want to play this game.

Just follow through,
you're going to get it.

-Just cross the court.
-You know what I like?

-What?
-Baseball.

Yeah, OK. I like baseball,
too, but we're doing this now.

[Caterina] I want
to see the Yankees.

-Yeah.
-I want to see Derek Jeter.

Well, Jeter's retired,

and I actually heard a lot of
women who met him in person

-were a little disappointed.
-That's bullshit.

Let's try one more time.
Serving up.

Whoa! That's a home run!

Whoa! A hundred points!

-Woo!
-You're being an asshole.

-Wow.
-Woo!

That's impressive.

[Josh] Hey,
can I ask you something?

I get a little embarrassed
talking about sex.

I think you're very good.

Yeah?

-Yeah.
-And you are, too, obviously.

I just noticed that you are
into kind of a rougher sex,

is that fair to say?

-You don't like this?
-No.

Cat, I really like it,
I like it so much.

I just wonder [sighs] if
there's a way to incorporate

just a little
sweetness, affection,

even if it's just, like, 20%.

Sweet talk?

Sweet talk, that's nice, yeah.

Well, I just wonder if we could

be a little bit more
intimate, do you know?

And not hit each other as much.

Like, kissing.

Perfect suggestion, yes,

'cause then it lets the other
person know right away,

"this is consensual."

What do you think?

-I don't know about that.
-OK, well,

we're basically on
the same page. It'll be fine.

[Diane] So, you see anything
that you want,

put a sticker on.
As long as it doesn't have
another sticker. Here.

-What are you--
I don't understand.
-I'll find out how to get it

delivered, so don't
worry about that.

-I'm not worried about that.
I-- this is--
-Pamela was here earlier,

she wants the couch
but she doesn't want the bed.

It's brand new,
I just bought it.

What are you--
What if grandma comes back?

-Where's she supposed to--
-And this chair.

This is what
I wanted to ask you.

Look at this. It's beautiful.

It's nice, it's really nice.

-I, I--
-I mean, I think
it would look very nice

-in your apartment.
It's masculine
-Minus the cats, maybe.

-I wouldn't call it masculine.
-It's red leather.

-Do you think it's a little--
-Josh, do you want
the chair or not?

-No. Thank you.
-No, OK.

-Thank you, though.
-What about the Keurig

-coffee maker?
-Mom, I got to--

-That's also brand new.
-I feel a little
strange doing this

with Grandma still in
the hospital, you know?

I feel like we should
be a little bit more

-optimistic about her chances.
-All right, Jackie

-will take the Keurig.
Jackie will take it.
-Fuck her, no.

I want the Keurig, she can have
the red chair with the cats.

Owen owns all
the furniture anyway.

-But my concern--
-And look at all the china,

all of the glassware,
all of the silverware,

-all of it, look at that.
-Yeah, it's a lot.

Great front over there.
If nobody wants it,

I'm going to get rid of it.
That's what I decided today,
she has too much shit.

Mom, you know, can you
just breathe for a sec?

-Why don't we sit? Sit down.
-All right, OK.

Let's just talk, like,
you're going a mile a minute.

[exhales loudly]

-Good.
-OK.

-How you--
-What do you want to talk about?

Well, what do you
want to talk about?

-I--
-What, is everything OK?

-Do you feel OK?
-Well, I've been
a little stressed.

You look a little pale.
Don't get sick on me,

-I got enough on my plate.
-I know.

I know. I--

I've been having a hard time

swinging the rent
since Julie moved out,

and that teaching job
is not cutting it.

Uh, I tried to supplement
with some other jobs.

I looked into Uber and
I just don't have the time.

I have to prepare classes, so...

-[Diane sighs]
-I would pay you back.

That's what you wanted
to talk to me about?

-That's not the only--
-Do you want to borrow
money from me?

-If you can--
-Go to your father.

He's got more money than God.

Do me a favor,
my mother is dying.

-I know, Mom, I'm--
-You don't know.

Every day, I have
to spend $1,400

to keep her comfortable
in that room,

and I'm going to do it,
by God, if I have to

empty out my
whole freaking savings.

-OK, OK.
-Keep that woman happy, OK?

Look, I'll handle all this
myself, my sister is in Turkey,

her kids are fucking
beyond useless!

Well, you know, Alan's at
the hospital as we speak--

Big deal!

Maybe I need somebody here,

maybe I need somebody
to take care

-and support me.
-OK.

OK. OK, OK, I'm here.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have
mentioned that other stuff.

You're just putting
tags on her furniture

and talking about
moving the bed,
it's hard for me, you know?

It's confusing because
I'm having these

very lucid conversations
with Grandma there,

'cause she's still alive.

And here, it's like we're
throwing dirt on her grave.

-OK.
-Mom.

-That's it!
-Oh, come on!

Ah, you know, no, I'm not
going to take the bait.

Mom!

Oh, Ma, OK,
I'm sorry, all right?!

-I--
-[door slams]

Slam the door in my--

OK, fine,
is her bed Tempur-Pedic?

I'll take that,
I'll take the bed.

So I think it sounds, you know,

sounds positive, the Prednisone.

Dad? Dad.

Right, once you get
liquid in the lungs,

it's just a matter of time.

You know, once
my mother got that,
it was just a matter of weeks.

Well, she's not coughing
anymore. She's sleeping
through the night now.

-Well, that's good.
-Yeah, it's great,
but it's weird

'cause Mom's cleaning
out her apartment,

Aunt Allie's left the country,
it's very confusing.

Would you come see her with me,

and just help me
understand what's going on?

I think she'd really like it.

Well, Sherry really
wouldn't like that,

-and I think you know that.
-Fuck her, Dad.

Fuck her. Or--

OK, fine, lie to her, then.

[Jeff chuckles]

Grandma's been like your own
mother for the last 25 years,

more than your own mother even,
I heard you say that once--

-[cellphone chimes]
-Dad.

She texting you again?

-It's like a teenager.
-Dad.

Dad, can I get this one, though?

[Josh] I thought you wanted
the skateboarding one.

Dad, please, can I get this one?

Dad, he's talking to you.

-[Jeff] What?
-He wants another one.

Uh, is that the one you want?

I want Commander 2
and Skateboarding Extreme.

Mom said you could only get one,

so, um, pick
the one you like the best
and then we'll get that.

-No! Both!
-[Josh] Hey, whoa, buddy,

don't yell
at your dad in the store.

Right? Can you tell him?

He's getting you
a game for no reason.

Do you realize how cool that is?
You have-- we have the coolest
dad in the world.

But I want both ones--

Well, you can't have both!

Hey, take it easy
with him, will you?

OK, all right. Hey, look.
I'll tell you what,
next week it's your birthday,

listen, it's your birthday,
so I will buy you-- what is it?

Command 2, I'll buy you
that for your birthday.

-No.
-And you know what?
Wait, wait, wait, there's more.

I'll even get you the gun
that it comes with.

And I'll buy it myself
so we can play together!

It'll be so fun! We can
shoot each other's brains out.

Josh, I didn't ask you

and I don't care what you say.

I asked my father.

-He's buying you that--
-No! Shut up!

No, listen to me,
he's buying you that

for no reason.
It's not your birthday.

It's not Hanukkah.
I never got video games
for no reason.

-Just shut up, Josh, OK?
-You shut up!

-OK, OK, OK.
-You shut up!

OK, OK.

-This is crazy!
-OK.

Listen, um,

I tell you what, uh,
we'll call mommy,

OK? You call mommy

and if she says yes, then
you can get the second one.

That's how
you're handling this?!

Where is [mumbles].

-[Josh kisses teeth]
-[Sherry] Fine,
I just need to know

What time you will be back?!

Because Alan is texting me!

Hey, Benji, uh--

Don't call me that,
my name's Ben.

All right, let's go outside,
play some basketball.

-What do you say?
-Nope.

Come on, we'll get you,

our dad, wherever he is,

and big brother.

We'll have a boys day outside.

What do you say?
You can play those games later.

You're not my brother.

Well, [chuckles]

I mean,
I'm your half-brother, so,

-yeah, I'm your brother.
-No.

Gus is my brother.

Gus is your brother? Who's Gus?

-[Ben] Gus
-Dad, who, who the fuck is Gus?

Gus? Gus is Ben's friend.

Oh. So, he's not your brother,
he's your friend.

No, Gus is my brother.

-Why are you here?
-Hey, hey, hey.

Be nice to Joshie.

Gus lives in this building,
it's his best friend.

Uh, Dad, does--

can't believe
I'm asking you this, but

does he not know that
I'm his brother?

[Jeff Chuckles]

It's a little confusing
for him right now.

I wonder why that is.

What's going on with Sherry
in there? She not gonna
come out and say, hi?

-Should I go in there?
-No, you should not.

-I'll go do a pop in.
-That's really not
a very good idea.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

-You sure?
-We're not having
the best of days.

Do you want me to go?

No.

[Ben] Bye-bye.

You wanted to talk, what
do you want to talk about?

I told you not to take
a two-year lease
on that apartment.

Yeah, well, you also told me
that Julie was the girl I was
supposed to marry

-and I should move in with her.
-Well, maybe you should
have married her.

I always thought she
was right for you,

plus she would have
shared half the rent.

[Josh sighs]

-What about the play, any news?
-No, no, don't ask.

Options at this point
are too depressing.

Believe me, if that were
an option, I'd explore it.

-I wouldn't--
-OK. OK.

I'll write you a check,
but only for two months.

You got to get your
life back in order.

I know.

Thank you, Dad, I'm sorry.

You're sorry,
I'm the one writing the check.

[Josh chuckles]

Hey, one day, you'll do this

for your own kids, OK?

Yeah.

Uh, listen.

Go take good care
of Grandma for me, huh?

Please come see her.

Come on, I really think
you could regret not going

if something happens to her.

And you got to talk to Jackie.

It's insane that
you're not talking.

I know, I know.

I just, I'm doing
the best I can here.

[Josh] All right.

All right, I'll see you.

Give Grandma a kiss for me, huh?

Hey, hey.

[woman vocalizing]

[Pam] Hey, we got
some new pictures

-for you of the girls.
-Oh, wonderful.

-Where are they, though?
-Hey.

Can you hand me those
pictures that we brought?

-[coughing]
-They should be my purse.

[David] Yeah, I know.

Here, here, here,
have a little water,

have a little water.

-Wipe it off.
-[Diane] It's me.

I know, that's why
I'm doing that.

-Wonderful.
-[David] Hey, Mom,
you know what?

You got to tell Josh and
Jackie to clean this shit up.

You leave all this
coffee and stuff--

-[Pam] That's why
you're here, babe.
-OK.

-[Diane] You're OK?
-I'm great.

-Thank you, dear.
-[Diane] OK, OK.

-Mom, do you want anything?
-Yes.

A Valium.

OK, I got you that.

Alan?

Earth to Alan,
you want something?

Some Skittles?

You want some, any drink?

No, you're good? OK.

-All right.
-[Evie] Is Uncle Josh

going to marry Melissa?

That is a very good question.
Melissa, your nanny?

You should marry Owen--

-Yeah.
-And Uncle Josh
should get married to Melissa.

-[Josh] Oh.
-Yikes.

Well, [chuckles] guys,
look, you know how
Aunt Jackie and Uncle Josh,

we like to talk to you guys
not like you're kids, right?

-Who has the blue?
-Because we respect you and
we think that you understand

that relationships
are complicated.

That's right, not everybody
gets married and has babies

like your mommy and daddy
did, and that's OK too.

Women don't just have
to cook, and clean,

and just have babies anymore.

-Oh-ho, exactly.
-Exactly, Annabeth.

Also, hate to say it,

but kids are very expensive,
especially in Manhattan

which is where I really
want to live right now.

-That's right. What is this?
-What's that?

We made get well cards

at school for More Grandma.

-Oh.
-Oh, my God.

-Aw!
-Feel bitter, More.

-Better!
-[Annabeth laughs]

Better, More Grand-- Grandmo.

-[Jackie] These are so--
-Grandma!

[Josh laughs] OK.

[Josh] Well, listen,
I'll read it again,

happy to give you better notes--

[Scott] No, no, your
notes were great,

but it's just,
they were so upset

because I had no people
of color in the story

-which, like, I get.
-Right, I remember.

-Like, totally.
-Hi, Jess.

But it takes place at
my Jewish summer camp--

-Mm-hmm.
-Which was all white.

-I hear you, but--
-So should I change it,

make it more inclusive?
What do you think?

Well, look, it's tricky.

And it's important to
consider this stuff.

It's really admirable you
care and you're listening,

but, Scott, it's still your
truth, it's your story.

-So, personally, I don't--
-I could make the camp
counselor, Adrian,

I can make him black or, like,
Hispanic maybe, I was thinking.

-Sure, you could.
-It's just that later on,

then I catch him smoking weed
and now that feels weird.

-Uh-huh.
-Like, I'll definitely get
shit for that, right?

Well, I, uh...

Yeah, I don't know, maybe.

[Scott sighs]

Look, what if he's Asian?

Yeah, I guess he could be, yeah.

Great.

OK, Scott, I'll see you.

Lance?

Todd?

Talia?

Cheyenne?

Ned?

Maria?

Mariah.

Is she here?

No, she's not here.

OK, thank you, Deacon.

Uh, Mark?

Deacon, we know is here.

Hey, what is going on,
by the way?

Is this because of Sara's thing?

Sara?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

[Josh] OK. Uh.

-All right, no, I understand.
-What happened?

You jerked off on
somebody's butt?

No, I didn't-- I didn't do--
I didn't jerk--
I didn't masturbate

-on any-- near anyone.
-That's right, hi.

OK, they wanted us to talk
about making this a safe space,

and even though there are
students who weren't offended,

wanted to support their friends,

and we hope you
can respect that.

[Josh] Deacon, could you stop
recording me on your phone?

Mm, why?

Because it makes
me uncomfortable,

and I'm happy to have
a conversation with you--

It's well within my rights,
so, like, if it's so
important to you,

you can forcibly remove
the phone from me

or allow me to keep taping.

I think the other students
should be able to hear

what you have to say about them.

Well, if they want to know
what I said about them,

they could have come to class!

[Deacon] You seem angry.

I am a little angry.

-It's OK.
-Good observation.

[Deacon] OK,
I have some questions.

What do you feel
about the patriarchy?

-Like, is it a thing?
-Deacon.

You're making me feel
uncomfortable right now

because I feel unsafe.
I'd like to make this

-a safe space.
-OK, let's have a dialogue.

[Josh] Well, what
purpose is this serving?

You want to waste your--
how much battery do you have?

-Full.
-[Josh] Great.

[gentle music]

[Josh] Why do I have to be sorry
for something I didn't do?

[David] Why can't you
just say, "I'm sorry"?

-I said I'm sorry.
-And just end it there?

And just stop there?
'Cause you don't think
you did anything--

[Josh] Oh, my God, you
want to talk about this?

All right, let's talk
about this right now.

I'm glad, actually,
that Grandma's here for this.

-Ah.
-It's not like I--

Can you go two more rooms?

-I don't know.
-I think you can,
you're doing great.

-Let's try.
-Let's just keep trying,

-just right up to this.
-It's not like

-I banged your nanny.
-I am trying.

We actually had a very
sweet relationship.

She was just coming
out of a breakup,

I was out of a breakup,
we were both lonely.

Sure, we had sexual intercourse,

sorry, Grandma,
but you know it happens.

There was also a lot
of hugging and cuddling,

and we watched shows on
Netflix, we'd go for bike rides.

That's great, I don't need
to hear all those details.

I just want to know, what did
you think was going to happen?

It was her idea
to make it casual.

She's a grown woman,
how is that my fault?

-Boys, boys.
-Oh, see, Grandma,

it's her fault, it's her fault.

It's always someone
else's fault.

-She's the one that wanted--
-The moral of this story--

Grandma, she's the one that
wanted to keep it casual.

I have to stop now.

-OK, good, get up.
-OK.

-Great.
-Get up.

I am, I am, I am.

Thank you, all right,
Grandma, at your own pace,

just turn around, back right in.

-OK?
-OK.

-I want to go to bed.
-[Josh] Yeah, so do I.

Yeah, this sauce is
actually really good here.

-The commissary's nice.
-Oh, God.

I don't want to live anymore.

What does that mean,
you don't want to live anymore?

Tired, sweetheart.

I don't feel well.

I've had a very long, very
happy life, but I'm done now.

What, so you're
like suicidal now?

I know that sounds strange,
but people shouldn't
live like this.

But you'll get past this,
you'll feel better,

you'll finish the radiation,
you'll do your exercises,

get up on your walker, and
you'll be good as new, come on.

I don't want to do
more radiation.

I don't want to use a walker.

[Josh sighs]

Well, I don't know what to say
to this. This is really weird.

You don't have to say anything.

Come on. I need my grandma.

You're like my best friend.

You help me with every--
I don't know what I would--

You helped me realize
I needed to leave Julie.

It was very good that you left
Julie, look at your father.

You can't spend your whole life

taking on other
people's unhappiness,

and Julie was an unhappy girl.

Hm. Not all the time,
that's not true.

She brought
some joy into my life.

-[Agatha chuckles]
-But basically, whatever,

you were basically
right, is my point.

I want to be in heaven
with my husband,

and our family will join us.

Yeah, but you don't
really believe

-that shit, though, do you?
-Yes, yes, I really do
believe that shit.

OK, well, I don't want
you to not believe it,

but I'm just saying,
I can assure you

that we're definitely
here right now.

I can guarantee you that.

And we have movies,
and music, and cruises,

and nature, and Paris, France.

I'll take you to France.
And we have comedy and food!

I can't taste food
since the radiation.

I can't taste food.

I know, I forgot
about that, but--

If I were to tell you, you
couldn't taste food for a year,

or you couldn't have sex for
a year, which would you choose?

Really, think about that.

All right, give me the pillow.

-OK. Here we go.
-Now what are we doing?

Let's do this, you're right.
Just close your eyes.

I don't want to see you dying,
so just close your eyes for me.

-Josh, please.
-And you're going to be
with Grandpa very soon.

-Here we go, oh, but--
-Ah, ah!

-Let me know,
but not the old, bald Grandpa.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah,

-not the old--
-No, the young,
like, hot, virile version.

Yeah, yeah. And you have no
idea how virile he was.

That little tramp will be there,
and he's going to entertain you,
and dance around--

and all your old dead cats
and dogs, whatever you want.

-Whatever bullshit you want.
-You're making me laugh.

-You ready? Here we go!
-No, no, no.

-It's on!
-Josh, what are you doing?

-What are you doing?
-Oh.

Oh, nothing, I was just
fluffing the pillows.

["A life to Live Over"
by Robie Lester]

¶ Ooh ¶

¶ Hey, mister, whoever you are ¶

¶ Whatcha doing down
The end of the bar ¶

¶ You're shopping
That's what I think ¶

¶ I'm lonesome, like to buy me ¶

¶ A life to live over ¶

[loud slap]

¶ To go back
To when my world... ¶

[Josh groans]

-Ow.
-[loud slap]

[Josh groans]

¶ Green, and fresh, and young ¶

¶ When denim daydreams
Used to promise ¶

¶ That someday... ¶

[cup clattering]

[Josh] Not everything needs
to be chronicled, OK?
This isn't Snapchat.

-[Deacon] Doesn't even matter,
OK, do you believe--
-You're hijacking the class.

-[Deacon] I'm hijacking--
-Yeah, you're hijacking--

-You think I--
-[Josh] Yeah,
how is that offensive?

[Deacon] I don't know,
maybe it's-- your making

some weird assumption
about the color of my skin.

[Josh] It's nothing to do
with the color of your skin,

it has to do with the fact
that you are hijacking

-time away from people.
-OK, well--

You know, so just
tell us about this.

-The hell is this?
-First of all, Mary,
it's got 26 views.

It's not some big
viral sensation,
and I have a rule about the kids

-using cellphones in class.
-I just really think

we could put this behind us

if you just took Jennifer aside
after class and apologized.

For what?
Does it not even matter?

I guess it doesn't matter.
Also, I don't know
how I do that.

She hasn't come to
class twice now--

Well, she may never
come back to class,

And, frankly, I don't blame her
if this is your attitude.

Guys, I'm feeling
very unsupported here.
I'm also very confused

as to who has
the power on this campus.

I know you're new to teaching,

and sometimes it's not what
you think it's going to be.

OK, I got an idea. How about
I teach two classes a week

that I've scheduled
and prepared,
and the students who show up

and do the work get good
grades, and those who don't

-get bad grades.
-Your attitude is ridiculous.

Well, I think this whole thing
is ridiculous, Terry, frankly.

And I'm not new
to being a student.
I was a student before this,

and this is nothing like
the college I remember.

I was 19,
what the hell did I know?

Look, I just really hope you
reconsider giving an apology.

Terry, I really don't
think I did anything wrong.

Sometimes that doesn't matter,

just an apology is an apology.

Just a kindness.

So an apology I don't mean.

[Mary] If you don't mean it,
that's up to you.

[Josh sighs]

[cellphone ringing]

Hey, Alan, what's up, buddy?

How you doing, man?

Hey, David, where are you?

[David on phone] Yeah,
I'm just getting some lunch,

about to jump into a meeting.

What's going on, everything OK?
Everything cool?

No, not really.
She's not doing too well.

And she, she needs
to talk to you.

Uh, all right, OK.

Uh.

[Alan] How soon can
you get down here?

OK.

She wants me to come there?

All right, I'm going
to get a cab.

I can be there in 40 minutes.
I'll be there in 40 minutes.

Call Josh, did you try Josh?
Call Josh's cell.

No, she needs to
talk to you now,

and she won't talk
to anyone else.

-All right, OK.
-OK?

-All right?
-Go ahead, you know what? Alan,

go ahead, put her on.

Put her on.

[imitating Agatha] Hello?

-Hey, hey, Grandma.
-Where are you?

Hey, you know what, I'm at work,
but I'm coming, um--

-[Josh] You're at work?
-I'm coming right now.

Well, I wish you cared
a little bit more about family

than you do about making money.

[Josh coughing]

-Please come quickly,
there's not much time.
-Wait a minute, wait a minute,

you're not going anywhere.
I'm going to take you home,

we're going to finish
our ping pong tournament.

[Josh] It was always you, David.

-Oh, God.
-It was always you,
you're the best of us.

You're the best one
out of all of us.

-Don't say that.
-Now, I'll be waiting for you

in the kingdom of heaven,

but until then,
I want you to know

that I'm leaving you
all of my money,

and my ugly furniture,
and my robe collection

-to teach the others a lesson.
-Hey, wait, wait,
wait, who is this?

Tiny ottomans and my--

-Josh, Josh.
-Look it, look it,

-what happened?
-You talk in there.

-OK.
-David?

-Josh? That wasn't me.
-It's me.

-No.
-[David] Who is this?

-But it's me!
-It's me!

-No, me.
-Now he knows it's me.

Who am I talking to right now?
Who's on the phone,
whose voice is this?

-It's your grandma.
-Who's that speaking?

This is Grandma.

-Honey, how are you?
-Hey, you know what, Gram?

It's not cool, Grandma,
you know, I'm at work,

I have a huge presentation.

-Are you OK?
-[Agatha on phone] I'm fine.

Wait, let me talk
to him for a second.

No, you just talked to him.

-I won't do anything.
-Oh, yeah.

-Sorry.
-Who am I talking to?

David, it's Josh, it's Josh.

-In all seriousness--
-You're a fucking asshole.

I know, I'm sorry,
but in all seriousness--

It's not fucking
cool, Josh, all right?

You needless fucking sick fuck.

You know what?
You take shit too far.

All the doctors are here

and most of the medical staff,

and they're waiting
for your opinion,

your medical opinion
and your advice,

so do you know if you're going
to be able to-- he hung up.

-No!
-He's gone.

David, I'm fine.

It's OK.

-[door knocking]
-[Josh] Oh, I'm going
to kill her.

-Hey, Jackie, come on!
-[loud thudding]

We were supposed to leave
15 fucking minutes ago!

-Hey!
-[loud knocking]

All right, I'm leaving!
That's it,

tell her I'm leaving. Bye.

-I'm ready.
-Fuck. Shit!

What-- who--

-[door opens]
-Who's in there?

-Oh.
-Sorry about that, man.

[Josh] Oh, hi, hey.

That's my friend, Eugene.

He came over last night.

[Josh] Oh, cool,
very cool, what-- when, when?

Just late.

Cool.

Uh, I know you.

Yeah, I'm the Black Lives
Matter guy from the podcast.

Black Lives Matter, yes.

-How you doing, man?
-Good.

Is it cool that
I used your shower?

Oh, yeah, sure.

No, it's not.
No, I'm kidding, it is.

Good, I already did, but--

OK, so we'll be back,
like, around six.

-[Josh] Yeah.
-Jackie says it's cool if
I hang here for the day.

I'm just going to, like,
get emails done and,

you got HBO, right?

I do.

And that is Josh's

-friend Caterina.
-Oh, yeah.

My girlfriend.

Ciao.

[speaking in foreign language]

[both speaking
in foreign language]

Wow, that's really good. Uh,

OK, so you guys are just
going to hang out here and--

-OK, I thought we had to go.
-Yes, uh, OK.

Uh, I will see you later.

-Ooh, ooh.
-[lips smack]

Oh. [Josh chuckles]

Cool, well, I'll be back
soon, don't worry about it.

And, uh, I'll text you, too,

like, probably before
I'm coming back.

Or maybe not.

-Maybe I'll surprise you.
-OK, yeah.

-OK.
-Ciao.

-[Jackie] Yeah, ciao, bye.
-OK.

-I'll see you later.
-So good to see you again.

-Bye.
-All right.

See you. [chuckles]

[door creaks]

[song playing on radio]

¶ My heart's a vacuum ¶

-[lips smacking]
-[soft crunching]

-What?
-Nothing, just impressed is all.

-My God.
-[Josh chuckles]

Nothing happened, we just slept.

You can do whatever you want,

just don't do it on my couch.

Can he spend the night
tonight, too, and go?

No, no, he can't.

-Why?
-Because--

He's from out of town,
so if you say no,

then he has to go
and stay in Ridgewood
at, like, some Airbnb.

And he's in town for a march,
and it would be
a really nice thing

that you could do
for a good cause.

Hey, maybe you two can stay
at your boyfriend's
apartment, hum?

That'd be fun.
Or stay with Mom, or ask Dad.

I'm not asking Dad for anything,

and I sure as shit am not
staying in that nuthouse.

He's like fucking Rapunzel
up in that apartment.

-Give me a fucking break.
-Does he seem happy to you?

You always stick up for him
even though he
chose her over me,

you, Grandma, David,
his granddaughters.

All right, whatever, it doesn't
mean you can have people

-over at my apartment.
-OK, you know what?

When we get back to your place,
you get to tell

Eugene that you
don't want him to stay there,
[clicks tongue] OK?

[sighs]

[Agatha] I want you
all to know that I made
a decision last night.

I decided I want to complete

the rest of my
radiation treatments,

and if I have to have dialysis,

well, then we'll deal with
that then, but this is what

-I choose to do.
-[Allie on phone] Hallelujah.

[Jackie] OK, that's
great, that's great.

-That's great.
-[Josh] That is really good.

-That's great.
-That is good.

When did you decide that?

[Agatha] Last night,
like I said.

-Oh.
-Talked with David--

-[Josh] Oh.
-[Agatha] And this is
what I choose to do.

-What did Runciter say?
-This is great.

[Agatha] What did she say?

So what did David say
to you, exactly?

Well, that's between
David and me,

but we had a very nice talk.

And I'm going to start
using the walker.

-[Josh] Really?
-And I'm going to do
my exercises.

-[Agatha] Yes.
-Whoa, because David said so.

Josh, stop being
such a fucking baby.

It's just, I gave her
this whole speech
and she completely ignored me.

A day ago, she couldn't
wait to be with Grandpa

in heaven, right?

You tried to suffocate me
with a pillow.

[Josh stammers]

You're kidding, right?

I was joking,
tell them I was joking.
You know that was a joke.

Yes, I know that was a joke.

-Well, why would you say that?
-[Diane] OK, now wait a minute.

You're impossible with
making it about you.

-I have some very real concerns
about this, Ma.
-Pot calling the kettle.

Dr. Peterson doesn't think

-that that's the right course.
-[Allie] I think we should

listen to Runciter.

He was recommended to me,
and if I were there--

Well, you're not here, honey.

If you were here,
you could get involved,

and until you are, butt out!

[Allie] Di,
I'm perfectly capable

of having a phone conversation.

-She's my Goddamn mother, too!
-[Diane] Oh, God.

All right, that's it.

-Uh-oh.
-I'm shutting her off.

-She's going to break it--
-Don't you dare!

[Diane] How do you do it?
What do I press?!

-What do I press?!
-[Alan] It's right there.

Bye!

-Bye, Mom.
-Don't have to hit it.

-Stop screaming.
-Shut up.

-[Diane] Oh, God.
-[Jackie] We are
listening to you.

It's just insane,
she's screaming at you,

she's not even here.

[Diane] You don't even know,

you don't even have a sister.

OK, well, I have some pretty

complicated female
relationships.

Men are easier.
They're no bargain,

but at least you can
reason with them.

OK, I really don't like
those generalizations...

-I agree with you, Mom.
-...about women.

Then let's just agree that
Aunt Allie sucks.

Yeah, but listen, she wants to
do the radiation, so it's good.

It doesn't matter, Josh.

Why not? What are
you talking about?

[Diane] Oh, it's the same
thing with my father.

How can you say that
it doesn't matter

when that's your mother
in there? I don't understand.

-That's my mother?
-[Jackie] Yeah,
that's your mother.

And you're my mother,
and if you were in there,

-I'd be doing whatever I--
-That's not my mother.

That's my freaking soulmate,

and I don't even know what life

is going to be like
without her in it.

-[David] I'm sorry, Mom.
-[Jackie sighs]

[Diane groans]

[David] I just...

I thought Dad was your soulmate.

Oh, you little shit, shut up!

That's what you
always said, right?

It's true, you can't
have two soulmates.

-Oh, no.
-Everyone knows that.

Why me, Lord?

[slow dance music]

[David] All right, that's
just like regular pot, right?

There's nothing else
tricky in there?

-Yeah.
-'Cause that feels strong.
That just hit me.

[Josh] Well, you haven't
had any in a long time.

-I know, fuck, dude.
-Wait, wait, wait.

Who's going to take care of
us when we're dying and sick

if we don't have kids,
or don't get married? Josh?

-I'll take care of you.
-No, you won't.

[Josh] Yes, I will.
What are you talking about?

-We have David's kids.
-Yes, my kids.

-[Jackie] Benjamin.
-They'll take care of you.

-Who?
-[Jackie] Benjamin.

-They like you.
-Who's that?

Ben's your brother.

-Ben.
-Ben.

-Right.
-Dad's son.

-Mm-hmm.
-Wait, you forget
you had a brother?

No. That's right, we got him.

We'll be fine.

We have cousin Alan.

[Jackie] Dad always said
you'd never get married

or have kids, bud.

I always thought me meant
that as a compliment.

You know, Dad is fucked.

You guys know that, right?

How fucked he is?

Even if he left Sherry,

which he won't,
we all know he won't,

even if he left, they still
have a child together now.

-[Jackie groans]
-[David] And with the child,

that's a life sentence with her.

-And that poor kid.
-[Jackie] Oh, my God, I can't.

I honestly can't
talk about that.

-It's too depressing.
-Going to ruin that kid.

Sometimes I think if I could
commit the perfect murder,

would I...

would I kill Sherry,

would I kill
my own father's wife...

-uh-huh.
-...if I could get away with it?

[David] I've asked myself
that same question.

Eugene, I know that
sounds really harsh,

but you haven't met this woman.
She's a nightmare.

-It's bad.
-[Josh] Like,
could I poison her,

could I shoot her in the face?

-[David] Mm-hmm.
-[Josh] I couldn't,
I'm a coward.

But if I could, like,
if I could push a button,

and she didn't have to
suffer, and she was just gone,

like in that Tom Cruise--
uh, War of the Worlds,

-the aliens just eviscerated--
-[Jackie] Oh, yeah.

Yes, so, the Mars one,
yes, Mars Attacks.

Yeah, and she didn't know it was
coming, she didn't suffer,

she wasn't scared,
if she just disappeared

-from the face of the Earth.
-It's not about her suffering,

got to understand.
We don't want her to suffer.

-[Josh] No.
-No, we're not sick people.

No. Well.

It's just, she's not
a happy woman either.

You have to see her,
she's not living a happy--

-[Josh] Such an understatement.
-This is really nice.

I'm, like, in a really
good mood doing this,

-hanging out like this.
-[Jackie] Like, it's
really fun, though.

-[David] Thanks for having me
over tonight, Josh.
-I like it.

-This was a real lifesaver.
-[Jackie] It's nice.

Didn't have to get
back on that train.

You guys do this a lot?

Yeah.

[elegant piano music]

[Josh] Can I get a cinnamon
raisin bagel?

Toasted with egg, cheese, uh,
sausage, with a little tomato

and just a little bit
of salt and pepper.
Thank you so much.

-David, do you want anything?
-Sure you want it toasted?

-They're fresh.
-No, no, I know it's fresh

but I'd like it toasted.

[Jackie] She has, like,
75 identical sweaters.

[Pam] I know, which
I really like, too.

-What about this, though?
-I really love that.

This is nuts. Don't you think
this is kind of fucked up

that we're already
dividing up all her shit,

and she's still, like,
alive and there's hope?

I feel like, bunch of buzzards.

Uh, listen, I, uh,
I want to go to the hospital

with your mom and meet David.

Oh, yeah? OK, should we all--
I'm happy to go--

I'd like you to stay here
and watch the kids for a while.

Here?

Yeah, watch,
I can do that, I guess--

I'd ask Melissa, my nanny,

it's just... she no
longer works for us.

All right, we can just
speak openly here.

I know what you're implying,

and I will watch them because
I like them very much,

but let's just be honest and
not tiptoe around the thing.

Yes, I really, honestly
wish you didn't fuck my nanny.

OK, well, I honestly do, too.

But I honestly did,
several times.

-OK, great.
-And I honestly can't
take that back.

If you could watch them,
that would be great.

Absolutely.
If it's any consolation,
it was really fun sex.

[gentle music]

[Josh] OK, listen up,
family meeting.

So, guys, remember
the secret mission.

We're going to just pretend we
were in Grandpa's neighborhood,

and we wanted to
drop in and say hi.

Just act like we were passing
by on the way to the movies,

and felt we should
say hi to Grandpa

and see if he wants
to come hang out
at the hospital with us.

[Jackie] Yeah, no, I think
I'm going to stay down here.

-Why?
-Oh, I don't know,

'cause we weren't
invited upstairs,

and I actually would love
to be invited upstairs,

and I just don't think
this is a good idea.

I want to stay with Aunt Jackie.

Thank you, yes.

Fine. OK, you guys stay
down here for now.

And that means, Evie,
hey, pal, listen.

I'm really going to
need you to turn on
the charm up there, all right?

Grandpa's a sucker
for that stuff.

-Can you do it?
-Oh.

Lot riding on you, kid.

-All right.
-All right, you two have fun.

-You're the worst.
-Yeah.

We're going to hold
it down, down here,

where it's safe, emotionally.

[Josh] Remember, we were
just in the neighborhood,

we were going to see a movie,
we thought we'd pop in.

We got to check in first.

Ooh, are those for me?

-No.
-Really?

Are you sure? 'cause it
was my birthday last month.

I don't know you.

That's true,
that's a good point.

We're here for Benjamin
Cohn's birthday party.

[Doorman] 28th floor,
just follow the noise.

-Is there a birthday party?
-No, no, no, it's for
somebody else in the building

'cause we're going to
Benihana next week, remember?

Hey, will you do me a favor,
will you go back outside,
play with Annabeth and Jackie?

I'll be right there.

-But--
-Come on, come on,

'cause I can see if
they're even home.

-Ugh!
-Ugh, I know, life's hard.

Uh, yeah, Josh Cohn
to see Jeffery Cohn?

28th floor.

Thanks, you said there's
a birthday party?

-Yup.
-OK.

Oh, boy.

[tapping]

Oh, hi, buddy.
Uh, Happy Birthday.

Oh, wow, that's a party.

Where's my present?

Well, you know, I didn't
know you were having a party.

I would have brought one for
sure if I had have known.

-Um, do you mind if I--
-[door thuds]

[Ben] Josh is here.

[woman] I hate slime.

Look at this.

I hate slime so much.

-[man] Like it?
-[group chattering]

[Sherry] Josh is at the door?

[Sherry mumbles]

[all chattering]

-[door thuds]
-Dad, what are you doing?

What's going on?

I think you can probably
figure out what's going on.

You know, Jackie and
the girls are downstairs, Dad.

No, what?

Yeah, well, I didn't
know you were doing this.

I mean, I don't care,
it's not about me and Jackie,

but, it's a little about me
and Jackie, but Evie and Anna.

If David and Pam knew
you were having a party
and didn't invite them--

-I know, I know, I know.
-It's a kid's party,

why wouldn't you?

Josh, I need you to help me.

-What?
-She's going to ruin
the whole Goddamn party now.

-[Josh] Jesus. Oh.
-I'm sorry, it's just--

-It's OK.
-Grandpa!

Oh, no. Um. [Jeff laughs]

Hey, baby doll!

Look at you!

Let me see your face.

Oh, it's a beautiful face.

[Evie] Grandpa,
is there a party?

¶ Happy birthday to you ¶

¶ Happy birthday to you ¶

-¶ Happy birthday, dear Ben ¶
-¶ Benji ¶

Ben, just Ben.

¶ Happy birthday to you ¶

[man] ¶ And many more ¶

-[group applauds]
-All right, make a wish?

-Ben.
-[Ben blowing]

-[all clapping]
-There you go.

-[Ben blowing]
-[man] Great job.

[group cheering]

You've done it, kid.

-Woo!
-You got it.

-Nice.
-We have to go.

Yes, let's go, OK.

[upbeat music]

-[Evie] Finding Dory!
-[Annabeth] No, we've already
seen it, like, three times.

Yeah, I've seen it, too.
How about this, what about
The Secret Life of Pets?

Let's see that, that just came
out, it's supposed to be fun.

[Evie] No, "Dory"!

-Hey, stop yelling.
-[Evie] I don't care--

-You can't yell in here.
-I don't care about

-"Secret the Life of Pets."
-Where'd you go?

-He's making me see it.
-Just a friend called me.

-[Josh] You haven't seen it yet.
-[Evie] No, I don't want to,

I don't care about it.

-[Josh] Hey, hey, Evie.
-I really want to go

to the fancy theater,
the new theater

with the plush seats,
the La-Z-Boys.

I'm not going to see
The Secret Life of Pets.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, my God, that's her,
that's the student.

-Stop looking.
Everyone, please stop looking.
-She can't tell.

-She can't tell.
-[Josh] Jackie.

Jackie, turn around, please.

-Hey, Jackie.
-Just pretending to--.

-Where is my friend?
-Please don't.

-I can't.
-Jackie.

[Jackie] Where's my...

-Stop looking.
-That's her, that's her.

-Please stop looking.
-Which one?

Please stop, they're doing it.

-Who are we looking at?
-Nobody.

I'm not going to see
The Secret Life of Pets!

OK, shh, that doesn't matter.

Josh, listen to me,
this is an opportunity

for you to go over there
and just apologize, OK?

Just listen to her,
validate her feelings, OK?

-She could really need that.
-Can you pay the bill, please?

-I'm going to slink out.
-"Dory"!

-[Josh] Oh, fuck.
-[Jackie] OK, you got it.

-Oh, my God, Evie.
-Just go over there,
just go over there.

-Apologize, apologize.
-[Josh] You are the worst.

-Oh, boy.
-You got this.

-OK?
-Shut up.

Pay the bill, please.

-[Deacon]
He's walking over here.
-No, no.

-No, for real, he is.
-[Bethann] How many
feet away is he?

Do you know, like, ETA?

-[Deacon] Like, now, he's here.
-Hi, guys.

I thought I saw you
here, Jennifer.

I'm so sorry to bother you.

Wondering if we could just
speak privately for a moment?

That might be
the best thing to--

I don't think
that's appropriate, um.

And also, I don't
think it's appropriate

for you to be harassing
students outside of the school,

especially under
the given circumstances.

Oh, I didn't mean
to harass anybody,

and I'm not sure that
that's what I was doing.

We didn't ask you
what you think,
this isn't your classroom.

-Well, listen, I think--
-Yeah.

-OK, that's a fair point--
-Hey, hey.

-Oh, no.
-Uh, Jack--

This is my brother,
this is my brother.

-It's my sister. We're going.
-And I just want to say that

he's truly a kind person, and he
feels awful about what he did.

-No, no.
-We don't care about that.
That's just not relevant.

-We'd like you to leave
us alone, please.
-[Josh] Let's go.

That sounds nice,
let's go, please?

-Jackie.
-Sorry, um, is it Jennifer?

-Oh, God.
-Hi, I just-- I'm sorry,

but I just want to say
that I believe you,

and I really feel for you,
and I stand with you.

-OK.
-Wow, thank you so much,

but we don't need your
hashtag right now.

-Please, please go.
-Hashtag, aw, that's cute.

-Please go.
-Yeah.

-Jackie, shut up.
-I'm actually like a pretty

big fucking feminist.

-Yeah.
-Shut up, shut up.

-Please go.
-And actually,
what you've been doing,

not showing up
to his class, right, filming

him, not cool.
Not part of the movement.
-Please go, I'm begging you.

OK, so is it cool for
you to be a big feminist

and have him tell you
to shut the fuck up?

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God, please.

By the way, you're harassing us.

-No.
-Yeah, you're harassing him.

You see how that works?
You can't handle this,

you can't handle
actual confrontation?

OK, you need to check
your Adderall dosage

and get the fuck out of my face.

Yeah, thank you for all your
hard work, really brave.

[Deacon] Oh, your life's a mess.

Goodbye.

I sincerely apologize for that.

Please forgive me, forgive her.

I really hope you
enjoy your meal,

and I hope I see you
guys back in class.

-OK.
-[Bethann] Yeah. Bye.

[Josh] Time to go.

-[Josh] OK, guys, just--
-[Evie] Why are we at the bank?

-[Evie] Where's Aunt Jackie?
-Guys, just stay here.

Uncle Josh is going to talk
to Aunt Jackie real quick.

So just don't touch
the ATMs and don't move.

-It's very safe, don't worry.
-I have to go to the bathroom!

Oh, Evie, you are killing me.

Could you just give
me one minute? One minute.

-Hold it.
-Can I play on your phone?

[Josh sighs] All right,
don't look through the photos

or the texts.

OK? I'll be right back!

Hold on.

Two minutes.

-Do you know what you just did?!
-[Jackie] I know.

-Do you have any idea
what you just did?
-I know.

I got overwhelmed, but that
was ridiculous, it was.

-I'll lose my job for that,
do you realize?
-There was no reasoning

with them. They wouldn't
listen, and then I felt

really defensive, and I didn't
want that, and I'm just--

-Jackie!
-I'll apologize.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey, look at me.

-What is going on with you?
-What?

-What's going on?
-I just stood up

-for you in there!
-No, not that, not that.

Something is-- talk to me,

what happened with
Owen the other night?

Nothing, I outgrew him.

Come on.
Then what'd you fight about?

-Did he do something to you?
-Drop it!

I don't want to fucking
talk about it with you,

-I really don't, stop!
-OK, fine, fine.

Give me the pills,
or the-- whatever you're on.

It's cocaine. You know what?

-Throw that away.
-Oh, my God, Jesus.

Well, why do I have
to throw it away?

-I don't have a problem.
-OK.

-Don't throw it away, actually.
I'm thinking about it.
-Why?

Can you hold onto it,
but not do anything with it?

Do you know what I mean?
Like, hold onto it

but don't use it.

Jesus.

[somber piano music]

[Josh] I had no idea it was
going to be that kind of party.

Nothing like we ever got,
which sucks.

But obviously, if I'd known,
I wouldn't have, you know,

I wouldn't have taken them to
the building in the first place.

[David] What? You--

-Oh, man.
-You did know.

-You did know, Josh!
-I didn't know!

-You did know.
-I'm telling you--

Then why did you bring them
to Dad's house for?

-I--
-Why do you just do--
just shut up.

-Just, Josh, I want to--
-I can't defend myself?

Because we actually had
a really positive day.

You didn't have a positive day.

You're dwelling on
the negative stuff.

You locked my kids
in an ATM kiosk.

-For two minutes!
-You locked my kids

in an ATM kiosk.

-Just do me a favor.
-This is what I need today.

-Yeah, I'm listening.
-Yeah, to listen,

you got to shut the fuck up.

-I'm--
-I bet you you can't shut up

for 60 seconds, Josh.

I bet you can't shut up without
a little bit or a joke--

-You're on.
-Or a little-- oh, OK,

-oh, here we go, another--
-OK, here you go.

Great, Josh, make it a game

'cause everything's
a joke to you, isn't it?

Life's a party with Josh, man.

Well, let me tell you about
the party I get to go home to.

I got to tell my
eight-year-old daughter,

I got to try to explain to her

why her grandpa didn't invite
her to a birthday party.

Maybe that's not a big
deal on your world,

but it's a big deal in my world,

and it's a real big
deal in her world,

and she matters
more than you do!

You're the fucking adult.

I'm sorry, it's no wonder you're
in trouble with your school.

I'm not shocked at it!
'cause you know what, Josh?

You do whatever you
want all the time

and you don't think
about anybody else,

and it's getting exhausting.

You're 38 years old,
it's not cute anymore.

These things aren't cute.

Listen to me. Try to take me in.

I love you.

Maybe I've just
let you be a kid,

and for that,
I'm really-- I'm sorry!

-[timer ringing]
-I'm sorry for doing that.

OK, that's my time?

Great, OK, good.

Thanks for your time.

Appreciate it.

[timer continues to ring]

[doctor chattering]

[Jackie] It's embarrassing.

-[Josh] I won't judge you.
-OK.

So, Owen's ex-girlfriend,

who's a lot more sexually
adventurous than I am, OK,

like sometimes
he wants to do shit

that I'm just, like,
not into, OK?

-OK.
-I get home from
the fucking hospital...

and he and Aaron have been
drinking and drinking.

And he pulled me
into the bedroom

and explained to me
how he always wanted

to ask me this,
but never could and--

It's OK. You don't-- If it's--
you don't have to tell me this.

-I'm telling you this.
-All right, but you don't
have to, if it's about--

if it's too hard for you.

He wanted his friend to have
sex with me while he watched.

[Josh kisses teeth]

That's really weird.

-Yeah.
-That's really fucking gross.

I think the plan was, like,
he would just kind of jerk off

while his, like,
bro fucked me or whatever.

-[Josh groans]
-And, like, that would be

real fun for him,
for both of them.

Huh.

Well, I don't know, I mean,

[sighs] if I've learned
anything the last few weeks,

it's that, Jack, you know,
sex isn't always so literal.

Like, maybe, maybe that was--

maybe just him admitting that
was his idea of intimacy.

OK, well, it's not
my idea of intimacy.

I don't want to do it.

I know. I know.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

I'm sorry that happened.

-What are you going to do?
-I don't know.

[people chattering]

[sighs] Hey, guys,
how's it going?

-Sorry.
-Good.

What's-- what can I do for you?

Um, I mean, we just wanted
to talk to you.

You know, we saw that,
you know, shit was going down.

We heard what happened
with Jennifer.

That's absolutely ridiculous.

I thought the fucking
masturbation thing,

we heard about it,
it was hilarious.

[Scott] You're our
favorite professor, man.

Oh, that's kind of you to say,
but actually, I don't know
if I should be

talking to students about this
right now. It's still a little--

-Is there something else?
-Dude. You're not
gonna get fired.

No, that's outrageous.
We're not gonna let that happen.

[Scott] They're treating
you really poorly.

Like, you come to work,
you do your job.

Yeah, I mean, you read
my stuff last semester,

gave me notes, I wasn't
even in your class.

Ah, thank you, Peter,
thanks, Scott.

It's actually [chuckles]
nice to hear this.

It's been kinda, kinda tough.

Well, don't believe anything
they're saying about you, OK?

-We know you.
-Listen, we're on this.

-That's why we wanted to talk.
-Mm, on what?

-You saw what we go through.
-Yeah, with Tiara that day?

[Scott] That shit happens all
the time, dude.

I mean, like, you see it

-and you understand us,
our perspective.
-Yeah.

-Uh-huh.
-[Peter] I mean, we're talking,
we're going to get signatures.

-This is an opportunity.
-Yeah, a lot of us
feel this way.

I'm sorry, what? A lot of who?

I mean, just well-meaning,
you know, so-called
privileged white guys

with a target on our
backs that are constantly
getting thrown under the bus.

Everyone's allowed to
get pissed off but me,

and, like, I can't get
my feelings hurt?

Exactly. Look, we have
a Facebook page that,
uh, you know,

we record stuff, we talk out,
process our shit.

-I'll invite you.
-Don't.

-Yeah.
-We've been waiting
for something like this.

-Please don't do that.
-Someone like you to step up.

-Yeah, we can follow you.
-Don't follow me.

Please, don't, don't quote me
on anything. I don't wanna
be a part of this.

I don't, I really am
uncomfortable telling you guys.
I'd like you to leave, actually.

I think you should go.

[Mary] Uh, so it is true, then,
that you and your sister

had a confrontation
with Jennifer Mann

outside of the school? I mean,
is that at least fair to say?

-[Josh] Uh--
-Did that happen?

I should say that my sister's
been on certain medications

that have put her off
balance to some degree,

and we're just trying to
figure out the correct dosage.

And, as you know, Mary,
my grandmother, is not well.

Unfortunately, she's taken a
pretty steep turn for the worse

-and I just think it's
having an effect on Jackie.
-[sighs]

I think she's struggling
with it, as we all have been.

-Still--
-No, no, I didn't know that.

I'm so sorry
for your family, Josh.

Well, thank you, Mary.
I appreciate that.

Josh, did you ever
say to a class

that students who arrived
to class on time

were raised better than
students who were late?

[Josh chuckles] No, I said,
um, I, I, said--

I'm sorry, are we going
through old quotes?
Terry, what's going on?

-[Terry] "Raised better."
-Can you remember what
you did say, Josh?

-That would be really helpful.
-It'd be great.

[Josh sighs and stutters]

I said, um, to Nick Abruzzo,

by the way,
who's chronically late, um,

I said that being on time
is a sign of respect.

It's something that
my grandma taught me,

and maybe I used some
line that it was like,

"A sign that your parents
raised you right," or something.

It was a throwaway line.

It wasn't even the focal point

-of what I was saying.
-Well, just so you know,

Nick Abruzzo has sleep apnea

and that's why he comes in late.

He didn't know,
you didn't know that.

-Of course I didn't know.
-Still, I think what
Mary's trying to say

is that we're going to need
you to take some time off
while we figure this out.

-What, how would you get
that from what she said?
-I'm not sure that's--

I think we need a little time.

-I'm sorry, who are
these people?
-[Mary] Oh.

-[Josh sighs]
-So now you definitely
have to get a lawyer?

-Well, yes, but, because listen,
because I want to sue them--
-Oh, no.

-No, Joshie.
-For-- yes, for wrongful
termination and discrimination.

Just listen, Title IX doesn't
just protect students,
I looked it up.

-Just move on.
-No, no.

No, that's what you would do,
take it lying down.

I'm not going to do that.
I'm being harassed,

discriminated against,
I'm being singled out unfairly.

You really think they
would do this to me

if I was a black Muslim
lesbian, huh?

Fair point, life would
be so much easier

if you were born black,
a lesbian, and a Muslim.

-I'm not saying that.
-It's gonna cost you a fortune.

A and B, it's going to
cost you a fortune.

You can't afford it.
It's going to go on forever.

-I'll call, I'll call the ACLU.
-Then what, now what?

Well, I'll sue the school
for discrimination.

Yeah, maybe this happens
all over the country.

-Maybe it's important.
-And persecute that girl

who's already been raped.

She hasn't been through enough?

And you'll never get
hired as a teacher again.

Think for a second, Josh.

[Josh sighs]

[Josh] Fuck, Dad.

-Fuck.
-Joshie.

All this because a guy
beat off on a girl's butt.

[both laughing]

-[Josh laughs]
-Come on.

[gentle music]

OK.

Where do you wanna go, the bed
or maybe sit in the chair?

-The bed.
-[Josh] OK, can you--

-[Agatha] No, no, I got it.
-OK.

I'm fine. Close the door.

How'd you sleep last night, huh?

-[Agatha] I coughed bad.
-[Josh] Ah, shit.

-You want to play some gin?
-[Agatha] I'm sorry, honey.

I, I, I can't,
I just wanna lie down.

-OK.
-Where's my pill?

[Diane] Where the fuck is
that nurse with the pill?

-[Josh] You wanna drink
some gin? All right.
-[Agatha grunts]

[doctor] For the last two years,
your grandmother,

mind you, an 86-year-old woman,

has had double heart bypass,
laparoscopic kidney surgery,

several painful melanoma
biopsies and removals

from her face and her left arm,

four months of chemotherapy,
two months of radiation.

Kids, your grandmother has
fought like a Bengal tiger.

OK, well, then we got to
put her on the morphine drip

because that's what she said
she wants, if it comes to this.

-That's what--
-Wait, sorry, Mom.
What about dialysis?

She changed her mind about that.
David, you changed her mind,

so dialysis is for
the kidneys, the kidneys--

She doesn't know how
sick or hopeless it is.

OK, so the three
to six months that you guys
were talking about,

what was that? That was,
like, two days ago.

That was Dr. Runciter's
diagnosis and it was a few
days ago, not my own.

[Josh] I hope he's having
fun on vacation.

-[doctor] She has been--
-You understand,

I can't listen to you anymore.

[Josh] He's like Dr. Kevorkian.

OK, so, please.

How long, how long
does she have to live?

Well, Dr. Runciter
and I agree now

that it's either
a couple of weeks

of very uncomfortable living

if we continue on
the current path,

or several comfortable days

if we put her on
the morphine drip as Mom says.

-[Jackie sighs]
-[man] OK.

Days.

[Diane] That's what we're gonna

-have to do.
-[Josh sighs]

[knocking]

[Jeff] I don't know.

-Hey.
-Hey, buddy, how you doing?

[David] Here he is, look at
him, the man of the hour.

Benny and the Jets.

-[Ben] What do you want?
-[Josh] "What do you want"?

That's how you're going to greet
your brothers and your sister?

-Just want to talk to our dad.
-You're not my brother,

-you're not my sister!
-Yeah, we are.

-We got to talk to our dad.
-No, you're not!

-Yes, we are!
-Excuse me,

-why are you yelling
in my house?
-I'm not yelling.

[Jackie] Hey, Sherry,
I'm sorry to interrupt dinner.

Guys, guys, guys, what
are you doing here?

[Jackie] I think you know
what we're doing here.

-We need you, Dad.
-I don't mind you stopping by,

but all I ask is that
you call first, OK?

But, hey, you're here, it's OK.

-I got some food.
Want some food?
-Dad. Dad, can we talk to you

-in private real quick?
-No, no, actually, you can't

-because we're in
the middle of dinner.
-[Jeff] What is it?

OK, you need to stop
what you're doing right now

and you need to come
with us to the hospital

to see Grandma right now.

-It's bad.
-They have Grandma
on a morphine drip.

-Yeah, and we're in the middle
of a family dinner right now.
-Yeah, I can see that.

Sherry, I really don't want
to fight with you right now

and I really don't want
to do it in front of Ben.

Can we, can we, can we
just do this tomorrow?

-[Josh] You know? Honestly--
-[Sherry] Jeff,
I don't need this--

-Hold on, Sherry!
-[Sherry] Don't need this.

There might not be
a tomorrow, Dad.

Ben, can you just tell
him to go in his room?

No, you can't tell
me where to go.

How dare you tell my son
what to do?

I didn't tell him
what to do, I asked my father--

-You walk in here--
-We're trying!

-Calm down!
-All right, all right,
enough, stop!

-Enough!
-Come over here, sweetheart.

[Jeff grunts] Josh, sit down!
David, sit!

-Dad--
-[Jeff] Jackie, sit down!

We are going to have a family
meal together! Goddammit!

[Sherry] And now he's yelling.

[Josh scoffs]

All I want is, is,
is peace between you...

and in my life.

How is it not possible?
What can I do?

What more can I do
for all of you?!

Nothing, Dad, it's not that.

-[Sherry] You wonder why I don't
want you here? This is why.
-[Jeff] OK.

[Josh] What, when has
this ever happened before?

-When does it not happen?
-Dad, this woman--

-[Sherry] Well, excuse me,
who is this woman?
-OK, Sherry.

This woman, Sherry, your wife,
she will make you miserable

-every single day of your life.
-I told you, d'you hear that?

-I told you they hated me.
-Doesn't matter what you do.

-They hate me!
-She will find a way for you to
feel like a disappointment

-every day of your life.
-They want you to hate me!

You hear it, I told you!

Jeff. OK, well, since
my husband isn't going to do it,

I'm going to have to ask
you all now to leave.

Sherry, we're not going
anywhere without our father.

-We're not doing that.
-[Sherry] Then, I guess

I have to call the police.

-Oh, yeah, call the cops.
-[Ben] Call the police.

[David] All right,
everybody, just relax.

-That's not necessary.
-You're leaving me no choice.

-You don't have to
call the police.
-You invade my home!

You're making
my child terrified.

[Jackie] You're terrifying
your child right now.

-[Sherry] OK, here we go, Jeff.
-Dad.

-[Sherry] Here we go.
-Look at me, Dad.

Look, dad, look at me.

If it comes to divorce over
this, to hell with her.

She's dying, Dad.

She'd dying.

Dad, I know that
you love Grandma

like your own mother,
I know that.

[David] You've got an army
of people who love you
at your back.

Come to the hospital and see.

[Sherry] I'm dialing.

[phone beeps]

[phone beeps]

[Jeff sighing] I'm gonna
go out for a little while.

I love you
and I will be back soon.

And, you, take care of Mama, OK?

-[Ben] Dad, can I go with you?
-[Jeff] Stay here
and take care of Mama.

[lips smacking]

[Jeff sighs]

Hey, hey, look, you,
listen to me.

-I am your brother, OK?
-Oh, my God.

And he's your brother,
and she's your sister,

and you got two nieces,
and a third one on the way,

and we miss you,
and we love you.

And any time you need anything,

-anything at all, you call us.
-[Sherry] That is
enough out of you!

-Get out!
-I'll be there for you,
because we are family.

[Sherry] Get out of my home.

[door slams]

[somber music]

Hi, beautiful.

[Agatha grunts]

Hi.

[Jeff] The hell
are we doing here?

Huh? I got an idea.

Grab a sweater.

We'll go on and we'll get
a bottle of the good stuff.

We'll put it in a paper bag,
we'll go to the park,

we'll get a transistor
radio, we'll put on WFAN,

we'll listen to
John Sterling and that woman,

and then you'll tell
me stories of...

[Agatha chuckles]

What do you think?

-Let's get out of here.
-[Agatha chuckles]

[Agatha grunts]

Let's blow this joint.

[Agatha chuckles]

[Jeff] You know what?

These kids hit the jackpot
when they got you as a grandma.

They're the luckiest
kids in the world.

I love you.

I miss you.

And I'm really sorry.

[Agatha and Jeff chuckle]

[lips smacking]

[Diane] It's going to take
weeks, and weeks, and weeks.

-I'm only halfway done.
-[Jeff] I see, darling.

[David] What's going on,
you guys?

It's really upsetting.
What is this?

-What's he doing?
-I hate it.

I don't know what
upsets me more,

Grandma being in a coma,
or watching Mom and Dad
flirt like that.

I mean, these poor bastard's
never going to learn.

He's never going
to fucking learn.

[Diane] He thinks
I'm interested,
so we just never tell him,

and I'll show it to you.

[somber music]

[voices muted]

-[Josh] Sure you got
everything? You got--
-[Caterina] Yes.

Hey, you want some of
those leftovers? I can run up

-and get you that sandwich
from last night.
-No. I'm not hungry.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

-You can eat it on the plane.
-Is this the guy?

[Josh] You got everything
you should? 'Cause I feel like

-you had more bags than this.
-No.

-You got your charger, computer?
-Yes.

-Hi, for Caterina?
-[Josh] You sure
you have your phone?

-Yes.
-Thank you.

Look, yeah, I got the phone.

-OK, OK.
-You asked me 10,000 times.

-It's OK, happy?
-OK.

Hey, why don't you
stay one more week?

-No. No, no.
-I'll pay the flight change.

-It's time, it's time.
I have to go home.
-One week.

-I miss my sister, I miss
my dog, I miss my home.
-OK.

-OK.
-Are you gonna come back?

-No, I don't think so.
Maybe, maybe not.
-Oh.

-I don't know.
-You're never coming back?

[chuckles]

All right, so this is it,
so this is goodbye.

I miss you, OK?

Yeah, I miss you, too.

Good luck with your job.

-Thanks.
-And with your grandma.

Thanks.

And, and, um, thank you
for everything you do.

-OK?
-OK.

-OK, ciao.
-Ciao.

Wait, give me,
give me a hug. Come here.

It's OK.
You know, to be alone sometimes?

It's really not that bad.

[Josh] Definitely not.

[Caterina] OK.

-[car door closes]
-[engine starts]

-[David on phone] Josh.
-Hey, buddy, sorry, I, I--

traffic's really bad,
I'm going to be, like,

20 minutes, probably, so,
why don't you just go to work.

But I'll be there soon.

-Sorry.
-Josh, she's dead.

Really, you're not...

-No, for real, Dave?
You're not just--
-Yeah, she passed.

[somber music]

Uh, yeah, 20 minutes ago.

I was rubbing her head,
telling her I loved her.

-[Josh] Jesus.
-[David on phone] Jackie had
to leave the room.

Mom, mom just got here. [sighs]

-I'm so sorry, Mom.
-[David on phone] I got
to tell her.

I'm so sorry.

[Diane] Me too.

[Josh] Sorry I wasn't there.

[Terry] So, I want to thank
Jennifer for coming in today.

You too, Josh.

I just want to say,
I think it takes a lot
of courage to be here.

And...

we're eager to hear
what you have to say.

[Jennifer] OK, so...

[sighs] from my perspective,

what I saw that day was...

a passionate,

enthusiastic...

Inexperienced, assertive,

and powerful male professor,

even if well-meaning...

pressuring, intimidating,

and... badgering a timid
female student of his

into exposing a deeply
personal sexual experience

in front of an entire
class of her peers, right?

I mean, that's what I saw.

So, that experience
made me fearful

that it could happen to me,

but it also wasn't easy watching
it happen to someone else.

And, um...

it was triggering due
to personal experiences

that I've had in my life.

So, when I decided
that I no longer

felt comfortable
returning to your class,

I reached out to you
through appropriate channels

that the school made
available to me.

Um, and you approached me
in person outside of class,

whe-- where I felt
even less safe.

Now, whether that makes
any sense to you, Josh,

or Mary, or any of my fellow
students, that's how I felt.

[Mary] We understand.

Thank you.

Uh, Josh, is there anything
you'd like to add?

Well, first of all, thank you
for sharing that. Um...

I actually do understand better
why you feel the way you do,

and I had never thought
about it like that,

and whether you come back
to class or not,

or I continue to teach here
or not, I'll remember it.

And I will learn from it.

And, um, try to be better.

And I'm personally sorry

I put you through
that experience.

I really am.

[Mary] Jennifer?

Would you be open
to returning to Josh's class?

[exhales]

No.

[Josh] Could we just get
David to come pick us up?

-No, we cannot. No.
-[Josh] Or Mom, Pam, somebody?

-Why?
-No.

'Cause they're setting
up a memorial.

-So?
-And it's a mile away.

And we do this every day in
New York City, where we live.

[Josh] I know, but you're
wearing a dress,

and I'm sweating through

-my fucking suit.
-Take off your jacket.

-Fine.
-[Jackie sighs]

-[Josh] It's like a minefield.
-[David] Dogs shit everywhere.

-These kids are spoiled.
-[Josh] Yeah, I get it.

Listen, here they are,
what do you think?

-My trees of life.
-It's great. This is great.

[David] They're going to
grow, they're going--

[Josh] Yeah, they're
bushes, but they're--

They're not bushes,
these are trees.

These trees are gonna get big,
my kids are gonna climb 'em--

I don't think berries
grow on trees.

-It's a berry bush.
-Those aren't berries,
those are seedlings, Josh.

-David it's a fucking berry.
-Don't pick those off.

-Those fall and they re-blossom.
-All right, fine.
It's really nice.

-It looks rustic.
-So, what did you do?

Would you just sprinkle
the ashes on top,

-or how do you do it?
-No, man, I got in there.

-I mixed her right into
the soil before we planted.
-For real?

-Yeah, both of them.
-Ah, man, I wish you'd told
me you were doing that.

I would have liked
to spread the ashes with you.

I knew you were going to
want to do that, Joshie.

I knew you were
going to do that.
So, I got something for you.

It's kind of a special thing.

-Oh, it is a special, it's
a very special thing you do.
-Aww!

[David] Come here,
put your hand out.

-Oh, right.
Were those the ashes?
-Come on, put your hand out.

-Get out of here, I don't--
-Don't be a fucking pussy

your whole life,
put your hand out.

You think I believe you
got ashes in a fucking Alt.

-Get out of here!
-What are you talking,
come on, be careful!

That's Grandma and Grandpa.
I thought you might
want to sprinkle--

You're joking, tell me you're
joking. That's not Grandma.

-I thought you wanna be
a part of this.
-David.

-Pay your respects.
-Don't be a Dick.

I don't want you
to feel left out.
You're always complaining.

-You're full of shit.
-This time I thought about you.

Come on, spread 'em out.
By the way, Melissa's

-in the house, did you see her?
-What?

She's in there.
You didn't run into her?

-She's here?
-No, dude, we hired her back.

It's great, I offered her
more money and she accepted.

-She didn't think twice.
-Please tell me you're joking.

-Please tell me
she's not inside.
-No, she's in there.

-You'll run into her.
-Are you fucking kidding?

-It's cute.
Everything's beautiful.
-You're a dick.

-No, Josh, it's beautiful.
-You are such an asshole.

I'm not a dick
and you're not a dick either.

Let me tell you something,
I love you.

-Oh, my God.
-I love you so much.

-I'm gonna--
-Sprinkle those.

-Get out.
-Don't. Put 'em in the thing.

-Garden of life. True life.
-David.

Is she in there, really?

[gentle piano music]

[indistinct chatter]

Agatha Margaret Klein,
who I call More Grandma,
which means great-grandma,

was born in July 14th,
1930 in Frankfurt, Germany.

Agatha was the daughter of
a clothing manufacturer named

Stanley Klein
and a housewife named Rose.

She lived a very happy life
with her older sister, Ursula,

until Germany was taken
over by Adolph Hitler,

who didn't like Jewish people.

Agatha, along with her sister,

fled Germany when
she was only 10 years old

to live in the countryside
of England

where she learned how
to speak English

and ate a lot of new food
like Yorkshire pudding,

which was her favorite.

After the war, Agatha
reunited with her family

and moved to Queens,
New York, to live,

where she has lived
for the past 73 years.

Back then, it was hard for
a woman to get a better job,

so she worked as
a secretary so she could learn

how to type faster than anyone
else that she worked with.

She was also very good at math.

Later, she married
her first love,

Jules Rossini, my great-grandpa.

They remained married for 51
years until he passed away.

She still misses him
a lot, every single day.

She cries each time
she talks about him.

They had two daughters,
my great-aunt Alissa

and my grandma Diane.

That's me.

Josh, you ever smoke?

[Josh] Oh, my God, yes.

[Annabeth] Agatha says she has
lived a very long life

and is very proud
of her children,

grandchildren,
and great-grandchildren.

That's it.

-[all applauding]
-Oh.

-Yes.
-Yay.

-So good.
-Love it.

Woo!

-Yes.
-[Diane] A plus.

[all applauding]

-[Josh sighs]
-[Jeff] Hey, Josh.

-Yeah?
-[Jeff] What happened
to that other girl?

-[Josh] Who?
-The Italian,
what was wrong with her?

Wait, which one? 'Cause there
are so many, I'm sure--

You know, there's not so many.

Caterina, nothing's
wrong with her.

She was just here
for two months,

but she had to go home,
so she left.

-She wanted to go home.
-[Jeff] Well, that's too bad.

[Diane] What about that Melissa?

-What's with her?
-The nanny.
She was cute, I liked her.

You know, honestly, there's
a part of me that believes

she was just aiming for
a raise the whole time,

-and was using me.
-[Diane laughs] Oh, God!

-[Josh] Ma, don't laugh.
-You know, David worries
about money.

-It's a real concern.
-David's a good daddy.

[Jeff] Yes, he is.

[Josh] There's too much dog
shit in that yard, though.

-Aw, sweetie,
that feels so good.
-[Jackie] I gotcha.

Oh, thanks for
the ride home, Dad.

-Yeah.
-[Diane sighs]

-Happy to do it.
-[Diane] Yes, thanks, Jeff.

-Thanks.
-OK. Here we go.

["Don't Give Up" by Charlyne Yi]

¶ There are days that
I would never ever try ¶

¶ There are days that
I would never ever try ¶

¶ If I would only try
Go look inside my heart ¶

¶ And know why ¶

¶ Don't give up on me ¶

¶ I'm not dead yet ¶

¶ Don't give up on me ¶

¶ I'm still alive ¶

¶ Don't give up on me ¶

¶ I'm not dead yet ¶

¶ Come on now, baby
You know we can make it ¶

¶ Make it if we try ¶

[gentle music]