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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:05,437 Rick, we did it! We -- we got it! 2 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,172 Hurry up, morty. Get in! 3 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,540 Chachi! [bleep] chachi, morty. 4 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,642 Did you get it? He helped me escape prison. 5 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,178 Did you get the ultimate cube? 6 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,480 Oh, it's purple. 7 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,881 Y-you said it was purple. 8 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,282 I said mine was. 9 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,984 I didn't know they all were. 10 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,153 And now we do, thanks to chichi. 11 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,488 Chachi. 12 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,158 So, uh, w-w-when do I get it? 13 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,593 Get what, a hug? 14 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,294 Let's find a planet with a garden hose first. 15 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:30,696 A dragon. A dragon. 16 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,931 You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you. 17 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,233 I said, "no." 18 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,467 you said, "millions of lives depend on it." 19 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,169 I said, "I'll do it for a dragon." 20 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,804 you said, "whatever." 21 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,205 I want my dragon. 22 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,607 You know who's into dragons, morty? 23 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,475 Nerds that refuse to admit they're christian. 24 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,577 I want my dragon. Let me give you rocket shoes. 25 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,079 Let me give you wolverine claws. 26 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,714 Let me give you a [bleep] rocket hat. 27 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,282 Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes, 28 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:51,550 or it'll rip your head off. 29 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,585 I want my dragon! I want my dragon! 30 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:54,920 I want my dragon! [ gas hisses ] 31 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,688 oh. 32 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,956 Oh, crap. [ coughs ] 33 00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,691 crap. 34 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,029 Dad, are you okay? 35 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:05,864 Your ship crashed in malta. 36 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,499 [ groans ] I'm okay. 37 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:10,102 Oh, thank god. 38 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,004 Dad, did you promise morty a dragon? 39 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,572 Fuuuuuuu-- 40 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:21,547 ♪ 41 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:29,521 ♪ 42 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:37,496 ♪ 43 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:45,471 ♪ 44 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,605 ugh! 45 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,807 Bleed here and here. 46 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:49,975 Rick: I'm not co-bleeding. 47 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,610 Under authority of our treaty 48 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,712 'twixt the realms of dragon and man... 49 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,080 Oh, my god, it's my first gay wedding. 50 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,415 Summer! 51 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,584 ...I hereby bind this noble serpent and rider 52 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,252 at the soul. 53 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,255 Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore. 54 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,623 That'll have everything you need. 55 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,858 Enjoy your dragon. 56 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,493 Okay, dragon, here's the house rules. 57 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,462 [ roars ] my name is balthromaw, 58 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,232 breaker of sky, slayer of mountain. 59 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,834 Rule one -- you are now scooper of your own poops, 60 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:19,037 or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are. 61 00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,839 I don't got any more rules. That's it. 62 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,241 [ door closes ] 63 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,042 I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this. 64 00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:26,011 Okay, I'll bite. 65 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,346 What's with the talking cat? 66 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,947 It's a dragon, dip knob. 67 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,449 I know that's a dragon. 68 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,285 I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom. 69 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,187 Jerry, why would I give morty a talking dragon 70 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,022 and you a talking cat at the same time? 71 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,524 Those concepts bump. 72 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,325 If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event 73 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,761 unrelated to me like when you went to pluto 74 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,329 or [bleep] my daughter. 75 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,032 Okay, there's really no need to get savage. 76 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:49,668 Cat: So? 77 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,370 Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking. 78 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,672 Told you. So then why are you talking? 79 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,141 Why should that matter? Why should it not matter? 80 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,277 How do I know I'm not hallucinating? 81 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,245 Rick said this is an abnormal event. 82 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,314 Do you always need rick to tell you what's going on? 83 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,349 Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions 84 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,685 and started having fun. 85 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,120 Oh. 86 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:11,023 Wow, okay. 87 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,291 So, what do you want? 88 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,725 I want you to take us to the airport 89 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,328 and get us two first-class tickets to florida. 90 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,731 Why, I -- I can do that. 91 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,000 [ laughing ] 92 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,269 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 93 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,939 Oh, this is so cool! 94 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,274 [ sighs ] 95 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,378 I await your next command. 96 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,714 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody is commanding anybody. 97 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:39,218 I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. 98 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,686 W-what do you want to do? 99 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,889 I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard 100 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,758 until the age of man expires. 101 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:47,859 Okay. 102 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,428 Split the diff? 103 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,564 20-minute nap and soar through the sky? 104 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,966 Ugh. 105 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,834 As you command. 106 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,502 Okay, see you soon. 107 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:58,804 T-this is fun. 108 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,173 Yeah, right. 109 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,408 What's this show called, "ass"? 110 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,111 Yeah, it's like "bones," but they solve ass crimes. 111 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,246 Woman on tv: This ass is a clue. 112 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,447 Are these two gonna hook up? 113 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,782 No, and only the lame fans want that. 114 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,317 Don't tell me how to enjoy things. 115 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,152 Go to her ass. That's brenner. 116 00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:17,022 Go to brenner ass. 117 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,257 Honeymoon over already? 118 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,391 What's that supposed to mean? 119 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,193 Admit it, morty. Dragons suck. 120 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,228 Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy 121 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,198 because you're a sad old fart? 122 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,866 How do you saddle a fart? 123 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,334 Holy [bleep] look! 124 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,637 -I love you, ass. -I love you, brenner. 125 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:32,804 No. Shh. 126 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,439 Ah! Oh! 127 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,942 And that's the end of the "morty gets a dragon" episode. 128 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,110 Are you gonna slay it? 129 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,479 First off, I always slay it, queen. 130 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,481 Secondly, yes. Should I pause "ass"? 131 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:45,550 Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together. 132 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,419 [ snoring ] 133 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,291 hey [bleep] 134 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,060 will you shut the [bleep] up or at least roll over? 135 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,162 [ groans ] oh, no, it burns. 136 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,498 Oh, my god. Oh, the fire of -- of it all. 137 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,566 Ah, if only I had prepared better 138 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,335 for this terrifying battle by remembering 139 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,637 the only thing dragons are known for. 140 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:12,544 ♪ 141 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,346 careful you don't get heartburn. 142 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,415 I made that android with a lot of c4. 143 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,183 Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it with 144 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,986 a remote-controlled explode-y potion. 145 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,754 You have bested me. 146 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,423 I am at your service. 147 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,091 Good to be on the same parchment. 148 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,626 Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off 149 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,829 with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your -- 150 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,231 wait, is this -- why do you have an original 151 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:36,101 ecto cooler juice box from 1989? 152 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,770 I hoard that which your kind covets. 153 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,807 Give you 20 bucks for it. [ chuckles ] nice try. 154 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,475 What the hell else are you hoarding down here? 155 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,011 Cha-ching. "small soldiers" spin pops? 156 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,646 Don't open that. I'm not an idiot. 157 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,916 Hey, why do you have future's self-titled album on vinyl? 158 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,384 Look closer. 159 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,386 Oh [bleep] he signed it. 160 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,088 Closer. 161 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,123 He signed it in molly and percocet? 162 00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,458 I could spend all night down here. 163 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,361 Do you indulge in volcanic fumes? 164 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,030 Is it gonna [bleep] up my brain? 165 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,666 No. I'll do it anyway. 166 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,836 Hoo, those were not cheap tickets, 167 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,506 but, um, I'm down to clown. 168 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,275 Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk again, uh? 169 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:18,710 It's not important, jerry. 170 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,078 Okay, but why florida? 171 00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,713 Because they don't ask questions. 172 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,149 They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun. 173 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,884 Right, right. 174 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,085 You can do this, jerry. 175 00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,920 I can do this. 176 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,589 I can do this. 177 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,825 Ugh! 178 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,961 Oh, yeah. 179 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,629 Jipe: Hey, jerry, after this game, 180 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,564 come to my yacht and bring your cat. 181 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,032 You got it, jipe. 182 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,701 I got to admit, you were right. 183 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,503 I've got to tell you something, jerry. 184 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:47,305 This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. 185 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,975 Woman: Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand? 186 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,377 Someone took a small shit in the sand 187 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,379 and buried it with, like, two little kicks 188 00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,782 and just left it here like a land mine. 189 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,984 Why and who? 190 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,119 It was him. 191 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:02,587 [ booing ] 192 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,489 help! 193 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:04,956 ♪ yo ♪ 194 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,493 ♪ percocets, yeah, molly, percocets, percosets ♪ 195 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,463 ♪ percocets, yeah, molly, percocets, percosets ♪ 196 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,366 ♪ mask on, mask off ♪ 197 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,469 ♪ gas gone, never nod off ♪ 198 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:24,009 I'm being summoned by morty. 199 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,911 Yeah. He's, uh, texting me. 200 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,113 Hmm. How are you responding? 201 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,448 Ugh, I tend not to, 202 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,883 or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated gif 203 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:35,187 that could be interpreted in almost any way. Brilliant. 204 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,155 I summon thee. 205 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:40,926 I summon thee, balthromaw. 206 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,227 What the hell? 207 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,296 Taylor swift pumping her hands in the air? 208 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,831 What does it mean when -- it means you're lame. 209 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:46,164 ♪ yo ♪ 210 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,734 ♪ percocets, yeah, molly, percocets, percosets ♪ 211 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,637 ♪ percocets, yeah, molly, percocets, percosets ♪ 212 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,474 ♪ mask on, mask off ♪ 213 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,478 ♪ gas gone, never nod off ♪ 214 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,482 balthromaw: What's the saying? 215 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:07,385 "orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work." 216 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,353 so dumb. 217 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,788 If there's ever a saying about me, 218 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,057 I'll fly into the [bleep] sun. 219 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,793 [ laughs ] 220 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,462 oh, you're small for a dragon, rick. 221 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,065 Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit. 222 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,367 Then there will be sayings about you. 223 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:25,003 Your lessers will hunt you down, 224 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:28,173 and you will be owned or slain. 225 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,042 That's why they call it a dying breed, brother. 226 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:35,547 Ugh! Ugh! 227 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,215 Oh, god, ugh. 228 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,683 My soul. Oh! 229 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,585 Oh, yeah. I'm -- 230 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,087 I'm -- I'm a dragon. 231 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,655 Oh! Ugh, I'm bonding. 232 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,990 I'm bonding too. 233 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,626 Oh! Yeah. 234 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,860 What the [bleep] 235 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,028 morty, I can explain. 236 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,162 Stop! 237 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,497 Why are you still doing it? 238 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,399 Why does it feel better now? 239 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,601 I hope it's not because you're watching but don't go anywhere. 240 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,436 How did you find us? 241 00:08:58,472 --> 00:09:02,541 We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery. 242 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,809 Oh! Oh, yeah. 243 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,045 Oh, man, ugh. [bleep] this. 244 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,381 You can take this stupid fake soul-bond contract, 245 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,417 and you can -- mm! Ah! 246 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,518 No refunds. 247 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,021 Your dragon soul-bonded with my grandpa. 248 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,390 Oh, my! I am so sorry. 249 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,158 That is a total violation. 250 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,259 Yeah, no shit. 251 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,128 I'll take care of this at once. 252 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,362 You slut dragon! 253 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,597 What the [bleep] you slut. 254 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,498 Chill out, dude. Slut! 255 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,832 Okay, that's -- you slut! 256 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,100 Y-you don't have to -- slut! 257 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,335 Shame on you! 258 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,836 Shame, you slut! You slutty, slutty slut! 259 00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,738 Ow! Why the [bleep] does it feel like you're whipping me? 260 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,676 Because your soul got tangled in a dirty.... Ah! 261 00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:38,777 ...Slutty... Ow! 262 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,078 ...Slut soul! Ow! 263 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,179 Let's go! Ow! Ow! 264 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,614 Get to that portal, you slut. 265 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,083 Grandpa, do something, or I will tweet, 266 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,085 and you will be canceled. 267 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,689 Hey, dandruff the great, lighten up and give the kid his dragon. 268 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,923 By whose command? 269 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,124 You have no magic. 270 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,093 Yeah, I know. I have actual power. 271 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,394 Not here, you don't. 272 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,564 True power looks like this -- 273 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,533 stone monster. 274 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,969 Stick that up your ass oh, you're done? 275 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:07,439 I thought the rock monster was here to introduce a physicist. 276 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,011 Spinal cord, uh, activate morphine. 277 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,213 Oh, I might be [bleep] 278 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,282 lightning bridge! 279 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,552 Okay, he's gone. Listen up. 280 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:22,220 There's probably animals in these hills. 281 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,556 If you spare me, I can make your crotch a salt lick. 282 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:28,727 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 283 00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,263 Thank you, morty. 284 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,532 Figures you'd be higher status in lame world. 285 00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,401 Get your [bleep] together, lair wrecker. 286 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,969 We need to rescue balthromaw. 287 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:41,172 Morty, the moral of this story is bros before dragons. 288 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,674 You know what I'm talking about? 289 00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,443 Yeah, if he dies while you're soul bonded, you die too. 290 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:49,581 Morty, the moral of this story is bros rescue dragons. 291 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,518 Balthromaw, by soul bonding with multiple riders, 292 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:57,188 you have violated the treaty between dragon and mankind. 293 00:10:57,224 --> 00:11:01,626 The dragonarchy sentences you to hang by the neck until dead. 294 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,461 On the count of three. 295 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,430 One dragonarchy, 296 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,399 two dragonarchy, 297 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,101 2 1/2 -- I just wanted to make sure -- 298 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:11,970 three! 299 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,139 [ choking ] grandpa rick, what's wrong? 300 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,941 Oh, god. The wizard must have hung balthromaw! 301 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,677 Well, [bleep] it. Can we go back then? 302 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,679 W-well, no, no. It takes, like, 78 years 303 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,047 to hang a dragon to death, so... 304 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,815 Aw, man. It's so annoying. 305 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,384 You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin 306 00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:27,786 with no water? Ugh! 307 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,120 You know, like [clears throat] 308 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,955 really, like, big one, you know, 309 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:34,025 and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat? 310 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,293 It's -- it's annoying. All right. 311 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,796 Morty, go ahead and activate this golem. 312 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:40,198 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 313 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,400 [ golem roaring ] 314 00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:47,605 ♪ 315 00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:52,844 ♪ 316 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,646 [bleep] dumb. All right. 317 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,382 Who wants to be infused with, like, uh, unreasonable power? 318 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,918 Oh, can I be, like, a sexy arrow-shooty lady? 319 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,754 Yeah, whatever. There's no rules. I don't care. 320 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,723 Morty, you want superpowers? 321 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,691 No, thanks. I'm fine. I've got my book. 322 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,359 All right. Good luck with that. 323 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,861 Let's go. 324 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,162 [ roaring ] 325 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,697 [ coughs, clears throat ] god, it's like -- 326 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:13,932 have you ever had too much orange juice, 327 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,366 or, like, you know how egg yolk 328 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,302 kind of, like, gets in your throat? 329 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,336 Yeah, we get it. 330 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,270 Come on and hurry. 331 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,339 W-we got to free balthromaw. 332 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,941 Upsulu -- I got this. 333 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,546 Morty, how's that book working out for you, 334 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,749 you [bleep] d-d-dumbass? 335 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,353 Huh. You know what? You're right. 336 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,322 I could get used to this magic stuff. 337 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:45,864 ♪ 338 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,699 there's balthromaw. 339 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,033 Check this shit out. Watch this. 340 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,068 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look. 341 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,336 Don't even bother looking. 342 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,204 Just [bleep] let magic guide your arrow. 343 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,173 Summer, what the hell are you doing? 344 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,642 Take this seriously. Shut the [bleep] up, morty. 345 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,911 Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought. 346 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,247 Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole. 347 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,648 Yeah, yeah. 348 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,650 Ah! 349 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,219 Oh, [bleep] my [bleep] eye, oh! 350 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:11,322 What in the medieval equivalent of tarnation -- 351 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,458 jesus christ! 352 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,959 Summer, you [bleep] idiot! 353 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,128 Power of 12 feet. 354 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:17,996 Uh, ow [bleep] 355 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,531 I take it all back! 356 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,699 I [bleep] hate magic! 357 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,304 Ah! 358 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,539 Slut thief! 359 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,440 You're a slut thief! 360 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,043 [ electronic music playing ] 361 00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,479 pretty fun boat, fun people. 362 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,949 That's great, not being asked why I can talk. 363 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,486 I'm a talking cat, but "who cares why?" is my point. 364 00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,989 Well, nice talking to you for no reason. 365 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,193 Jorge, that was a good one, 366 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,994 but do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle is? 367 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,262 Nah, what's that? 368 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,231 Dude, it's when you take the chick, 369 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,233 put her feet on a cathedral -- sorry to interrupt, guys. 370 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:58,269 Just want to clarify, are these real sex positions? 371 00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,504 Because if they are, 372 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,140 how are they gratifying to the male at all? 373 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,042 And if the goal is to make something up, 374 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:08,112 why not make up something...Funnier? 375 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,416 I'm asking too many questions, aren't I? 376 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,717 How ironic. 377 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,586 Get out of florida, you overthinking cat. 378 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,855 Why don't you go overthink [bleep] up north in georgia? 379 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,289 All: Hate that cat. 380 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,634 You got any money for a cab? 381 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,202 Why ask questions? 382 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:32,770 Why not just have fun? 383 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,172 I deserve that. 384 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,975 Wizard: Attention, citizens of draygon, 385 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,777 a slut dragon has escaped. 386 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:43,081 Anyone caught harboring it is also a slut. 387 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,749 That's how it goes. Ow, my eye. 388 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,685 It pains me that you can feel my pain. 389 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,987 Yeah, how about you suck your [bleep] 390 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,655 which is also somehow my [bleep]? 391 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:54,192 Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy? 392 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,461 M-maybe I can find that wizard's portal spell 393 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,729 in here and g-get us home. 394 00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,464 How about finding the spell that unbinds me 395 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,732 from your [bleep] dragon? 396 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,734 Debranavox: No spells can do that. 397 00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,869 Only the wizard can unbind soul bonds. 398 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,271 Uh, who the [bleep] are you? 399 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,972 Who are we? Who the [bleep] are you, bitch? 400 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,308 Debrah, stop. We are the slut dragons. 401 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,343 We live in these slut caves where we [bleep] 402 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,380 suck, and eat [bleep] and we kindly ask that you leave. 403 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,882 If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us. 404 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,284 Yeah! We like it down here 405 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,653 'cause we can [bleep] woolly mammoths. Get out! 406 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,221 Get the [bleep] out of here, michael! Shut up, michael! 407 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,722 You're the only one that [bleep] that thing. 408 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,024 Get the [bleep] out of here. 409 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,725 Well, at least I'm not into [bleep] play. 410 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:28,927 -[bleep] you! -Hey, wait! 411 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,628 Everybody stop, stop! 412 00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:32,196 Listen, this is all my fault. 413 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,866 I started all this when I tried to control balthromaw, 414 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,067 and that was [bleep] up. 415 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,735 Nobody should control anyone, 416 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,237 especially that guy up there. 417 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,773 And, um, you can eat [bleep] if you want, I guess. 418 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:42,941 I, uh -- I got this, morty. 419 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,709 Okay, listen up, slut dragons! 420 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,444 Wouldn't you rather be sluts up there, 421 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,013 have a [bleep] world instead of a [bleep] cave? 422 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,281 What's wrong with you? 423 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,450 This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. 424 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:55,286 All dragons are sluts deep down, even the ones up above, 425 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,522 but we would have to kill the wizard to be free. 426 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,756 He is too powerful. 427 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,326 There is a way to kill the wizard. 428 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,994 Whoa. Who's this mysterious character? 429 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:04,762 Shadow jacker, you haven't come out 430 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,397 of your masturbation cave in eons. 431 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,867 It's high time I emerge from my [bleep] cocoon. 432 00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:12,103 I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating 433 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,504 to the sounds you all make. 434 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,772 Jesus christ. All right. 435 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:15,873 C-could use a little more mystery. 436 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,475 Oh, oh, just now seeing the staff. 437 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,878 We've never had enough sluts to defeat the wizard. 438 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:23,314 Now, with the four fresh, wet sluts that 439 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,884 just landed on our doorstep, we finally have a chance. 440 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,020 So killing the wizard will break my soul bond. 441 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,289 Yes, it solves all of our problems. 442 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,591 We must begin a 10-slut soul orgy... 443 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,126 Morty: Wait, wait, what? 444 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,729 ...And become the all-slut slut phoenix dragon, slut. 445 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,030 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. 446 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,565 There's got to be something else in here. 447 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,166 There's got to be another way. Just give me a second. 448 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,168 I haven't read all this yet. 449 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:47,472 [ all moaning ] 450 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,507 maybe don't tell your parents we did this? 451 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:53,644 [ moaning continues ] 452 00:16:53,680 --> 00:17:00,418 ♪ 453 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:07,225 ♪ 454 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:13,865 ♪ 455 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,567 oh, oh, no. Oh -- wait, please, no! 456 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,069 Ice spell! Ice spell! 457 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,937 Oh, god! 458 00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:21,639 That just made it last longer. 459 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,341 Ah, it burns longer! 460 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,343 Ah, I could have died fast! 461 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,581 Thank you, strangers. 462 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,250 Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment. 463 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,218 It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy. 464 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,488 All right, guys. I'll use this to open a portal. 465 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,058 Uh, open a portal to earth. 466 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,893 Let's get the hell out of here fast. 467 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,428 God, look at this piece of [bleep] 468 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,164 why is there writing on it? Who writes on a portal? 469 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,902 Should've taken me up on those wolverine claws instead, morty. 470 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,570 Wait, why did the dragon come? 471 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,806 I was thinking we could hang out? 472 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,808 Oh, yeah. Whoa, jesus. 473 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,609 Your dad's been texting me this whole time? 474 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,144 Uh, he's at an airport with a cat. 475 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,879 Okay, that -- that sounds -- wow. 476 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,147 You know, I better check on him. 477 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,882 Big season finale right there, you know? 478 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,417 Better, uh -- better go right now. 479 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,319 Also, I told you not to get a dragon, morty. 480 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,388 This is your fault. [bleep] you, worst adventure ever. 481 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,923 Worst adventure ever. 482 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,859 Yeah, uh, I guess you better be on your way too, balthromaw. 483 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,561 Well, I've been thinking. 484 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:20,398 What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me. 485 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,999 Maybe we could try again? 486 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,367 Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out 487 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,803 with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded. 488 00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,538 I didn't know how sexual dragons were. 489 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,041 I kind of just wanted to do some d&d stuff, you know? 490 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,243 And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa 491 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,045 and every dragon we could find, yeah? 492 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,047 No, look, can you please just go? 493 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,648 I-I-I really want to shower. 494 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,517 Maybe a quick soul bone before I go. 495 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,751 I-I-I-I'm good. 496 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,019 I think I just need to be alone 497 00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,222 and sort of un-- unpack all this. 498 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,289 What about your grandpa? 499 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,824 Would he want to? I can wait. 500 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,159 No, I think you better go. 501 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,927 I-I'm gonna take that shower. 502 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,630 If it's just warm liquid you want trickled over your body, 503 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,898 I could maybe -- no, no, look. 504 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,266 I just want to be clean! 505 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,502 I-I-I feel dirty after everything that's happened. 506 00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,238 How about a quick hand bond? 507 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,240 I like doing it. You're embarrassing yourself. 508 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,875 I-I-I'm closing the door. 509 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,911 [bleep] soul teasers. 510 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,080 This is a cool car. I like having fun. 511 00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,982 That's what I'm talking about. Keep it moving. 512 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,483 Don't ask why I can talk. 513 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,252 Mm, mm, mm. Uh-huh. 514 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,687 For sure. For sure. 515 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,122 Where are we going? 516 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,491 Quantum radiator might need some nanowater. 517 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,660 We -- we can stretch our legs. 518 00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:27,965 [ bottles clatter ] 519 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,302 so, uh, why can you talk? 520 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,703 What is this? 521 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,006 I need you in one spot for a clean mind scan. 522 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,175 Mind scan? Look, you're overthinking it. 523 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,143 The point of a talking cat is to have fun. 524 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,612 I find the insinuation that I can't ask questions 525 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,147 and have fun condescending. 526 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,950 Y-you find it condescending, jerry? Yes. 527 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,753 All right. I'm from outer space. Happy? No. 528 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,988 Exactly, because no answer would be satisfying. 529 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,256 Because it's a lie. 530 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,592 Let's see the truth. 531 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,693 What in the... 532 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,596 [ explosions ] 533 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,598 oh, son of a bitch. 534 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,200 Jerry, don't. I want to see. 535 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,202 No, you do not. 536 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:09,473 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 537 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,742 At least now maybe -- 538 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:12,843 get the hell out of here! 539 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:13,844 But I've got nowhere to go. 540 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,179 Get out! Get out! 541 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,180 Get out! 542 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,683 [ crying ] 543 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:24,121 [ crying ] 544 00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:28,593 he was in my home where I keep photos of my parents. 545 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:29,727 Jerry, I have a device. 546 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,062 I-it can make us forget. 547 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:34,098 No, I don't think we should forget, 548 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,533 not this. 549 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,668 Someone has to remember. 550 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,403 Someone will. 551 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,673 Did we crash? 552 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:43,708 Where's the cat? 553 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,676 He, uh, ran away. 554 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,745 Did you scan his brain? Yeah. 555 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,247 Did you find out why he can talk? 556 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,148 He's from outer space. 557 00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:53,050 Outer space? 558 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,752 That little -- [ chuckles ] 559 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:58,189 of course, total mind [bleep] 560 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:06,030 ♪ 561 00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:13,671 ♪ 562 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:21,545 ♪ 563 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:29,387 ♪ 564 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,960 now, that's what I call draggin'. 565 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,361 What? It's a joke. 566 00:21:37,397 --> 00:21:39,764 You're a dragon draggin' your stuff. 567 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,265 I understand. 568 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,867 So, how you doing? 569 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,802 I grow weary of you humans. 570 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,171 How about 50 bucks? You weary of 50 bucks? 571 00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:48,606 I'm trying to cheat on my wife. 572 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,841 I'm looking for a little magic, a little fantasy. 573 00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:52,877 You could use some help. Let's help each other, huh? 574 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,211 50 bucks. 575 00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:56,714 [ roars ] 576 00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,950 nice. 577 00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,686 Is there a reason you can speak? 578 00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:04,188 Yeah, and I'm ashamed of it. 579 00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,757 Then speak of it no more. 580 00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,827 Do you wish to eat, maybe bond a little? 581 00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,829 Yeah, I could bond. 582 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:13,998 How long does it take you to fly to florida? 583 00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:16,967 Did you get any of that? 48870

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