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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:05,557 Rick, we did it! We -- We got it! 2 00:00:05,591 --> 00:00:07,248 Hurry up, Morty. Get in! 3 00:00:07,283 --> 00:00:08,663 Chachi!Fuck Chachi, Morty. 4 00:00:08,698 --> 00:00:10,734 Did you get it?He helped me escape prison. 5 00:00:10,769 --> 00:00:13,254 Did you get the Ultimate Cube? 6 00:00:13,289 --> 00:00:14,566 Oh, it's purple. 7 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,016 Y-You said it was purple. 8 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,396 I said mine was. 9 00:00:17,431 --> 00:00:19,053 I didn't know they all were. 10 00:00:19,088 --> 00:00:21,228 And now we do, thanks to Chichi. 11 00:00:21,262 --> 00:00:22,608 Chachi. 12 00:00:24,265 --> 00:00:26,233 So, uh, w-w-when do I get it? 13 00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,682 Get what, a hug? 14 00:00:27,717 --> 00:00:29,408 Let's find a planet with a garden hose first. 15 00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:30,789 A dragon. A dragon. 16 00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:33,033 You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you. 17 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,344 I said, "No." 18 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,587 You said, "Millions of lives depend on it." 19 00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:37,244 I said, "I'll do it for a dragon." 20 00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:38,935 You said, "Whatever." 21 00:00:38,969 --> 00:00:40,281 I want my dragon. 22 00:00:40,316 --> 00:00:41,696 You know who's into dragons, Morty? 23 00:00:41,731 --> 00:00:43,595 Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian. 24 00:00:43,629 --> 00:00:45,700 I want my dragon.Let me give you rocket shoes. 25 00:00:45,735 --> 00:00:47,185 Let me give you Wolverine claws. 26 00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,807 Let me give you a fucking rocket hat. 27 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,360 Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes, 28 00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:51,637 or it'll rip your head off. 29 00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:53,708 I want my dragon! I want my dragon! 30 00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:55,055 I want my dragon![ Gas hisses ] 31 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,780 Oh. 32 00:00:56,815 --> 00:00:58,058 Oh, crap. [ Coughs ] 33 00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,818 Crap. 34 00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:04,133 Dad, are you okay? 35 00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:05,996 Your ship crashed in Malta. 36 00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:07,584 [ Groans ] I'm okay. 37 00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:10,208 Oh, thank God. 38 00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,106 Dad, did you promise Morty a dragon? 39 00:01:12,141 --> 00:01:13,659 Fuuuuuuu-- 40 00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:21,667 ♪♪ 41 00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:29,606 ♪♪ 42 00:01:29,641 --> 00:01:37,580 ♪♪ 43 00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:45,588 ♪♪ 44 00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:46,692 Ugh! 45 00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:48,936 Bleed here and here. 46 00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:50,110 Rick: I'm not co-bleeding. 47 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,697 Under authority of our treaty 48 00:01:51,732 --> 00:01:53,803 'twixt the realms of dragon and man... 49 00:01:53,837 --> 00:01:55,184 Oh, my God, it's my first gay wedding. 50 00:01:55,218 --> 00:01:56,530 Summer! 51 00:01:56,564 --> 00:01:58,704 ...I hereby bind this noble serpent and rider 52 00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:00,361 at the soul. 53 00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:03,364 Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore. 54 00:02:03,399 --> 00:02:04,710 That'll have everything you need. 55 00:02:04,745 --> 00:02:05,987 Enjoy your dragon. 56 00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:07,610 Okay, dragon, here's the house rules. 57 00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:10,544 [ Roars ] My name is Balthromaw, 58 00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:13,305 breaker of sky, slayer of mountain. 59 00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,963 Rule one -- You are now scooper of your own poops, 60 00:02:15,997 --> 00:02:19,173 or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are. 61 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,968 I don't got any more rules. That's it. 62 00:02:21,002 --> 00:02:22,314 [ Door closes ] 63 00:02:22,349 --> 00:02:24,178 I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this. 64 00:02:24,213 --> 00:02:26,146 Okay, I'll bite. 65 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,457 What's with the talking cat? 66 00:02:27,492 --> 00:02:29,079 It's a dragon, dip knob. 67 00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:30,564 I know that's a dragon. 68 00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:33,394 I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom. 69 00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,293 Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon 70 00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:37,157 and you a talking cat at the same time? 71 00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:38,641 Those concepts bump. 72 00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,401 If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event 73 00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:42,852 unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto 74 00:02:42,886 --> 00:02:44,405 or fucked my daughter. 75 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,132 Okay, there's really no need to get savage. 76 00:02:48,616 --> 00:02:49,755 Cat: So? 77 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:51,481 Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking. 78 00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,759 Told you. So then why are you talking? 79 00:02:53,794 --> 00:02:56,245 Why should that matter?Why should it not matter? 80 00:02:56,279 --> 00:02:58,350 How do I know I'm not hallucinating? 81 00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:00,352 Rick said this is an abnormal event. 82 00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:02,389 Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on? 83 00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,494 Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions 84 00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:06,841 and started having fun. 85 00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:08,222 Oh. 86 00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:11,191 Wow, okay. 87 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,364 So, what do you want? 88 00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:13,848 I want you to take us to the airport 89 00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:16,403 and get us two first-class tickets to Florida. 90 00:03:16,437 --> 00:03:19,854 Why, I -- I can do that. 91 00:03:19,889 --> 00:03:22,098 [ Laughing ] 92 00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:24,376 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 93 00:03:24,411 --> 00:03:27,068 Oh, this is so cool! 94 00:03:27,103 --> 00:03:29,381 [ Sighs ] 95 00:03:31,107 --> 00:03:33,523 I await your next command. 96 00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,870 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody is commanding anybody. 97 00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:39,357 I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. 98 00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:40,772 W-What do you want to do? 99 00:03:40,806 --> 00:03:44,051 I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard 100 00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:46,881 until the Age of Man expires. 101 00:03:46,916 --> 00:03:47,951 Okay. 102 00:03:47,986 --> 00:03:49,539 Split the diff? 103 00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:52,715 20-minute nap and soar through the sky? 104 00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:54,095 Ugh. 105 00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:55,925 As you command. 106 00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:57,582 Okay, see you soon. 107 00:03:57,616 --> 00:03:58,928 T-This is fun. 108 00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:01,275 Yeah, right. 109 00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,553 What's this show called, "Ass"? 110 00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:06,246 Yeah, it's like "Bones," but they solve ass crimes. 111 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,385 Woman on TV: This ass is a clue. 112 00:04:07,419 --> 00:04:08,558 Are these two gonna hook up? 113 00:04:08,593 --> 00:04:10,905 No, and only the lame fans want that. 114 00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,390 Don't tell me how to enjoy things. 115 00:04:12,424 --> 00:04:14,254 Go to her ass.That's Brenner. 116 00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,153 Go to Brenner Ass. 117 00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:18,396 Honeymoon over already? 118 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:19,466 What's that supposed to mean? 119 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,295 Admit it, Morty. Dragons suck. 120 00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:23,297 Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy 121 00:04:23,332 --> 00:04:26,300 because you're a sad old fart? 122 00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:27,991 How do you saddle a fart? 123 00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:29,407 Holy shit. Look! 124 00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:31,754 -I love you, Ass. -I love you, Brenner. 125 00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:32,927 No. Shh. 126 00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:34,584 Ah! Oh! 127 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:37,104 And that's the end of the "Morty Gets a Dragon" episode. 128 00:04:37,138 --> 00:04:38,278 Are you gonna slay it? 129 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,590 First off, I always slay it, queen. 130 00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,592 Secondly, yes.Should I pause "Ass"? 131 00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:45,664 Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together. 132 00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:47,528 [ Snoring ] 133 00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:52,326 Hey, fuckface. 134 00:04:52,361 --> 00:04:55,191 Will you shut the fuck up or at least roll over? 135 00:04:55,225 --> 00:04:57,297 [ Groans ] Oh, no, it burns. 136 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,609 Oh, my God. Oh, the fire of -- of it all. 137 00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:01,611 Ah, if only I had prepared better 138 00:05:01,646 --> 00:05:03,441 for this terrifying battle by remembering 139 00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:05,719 the only thing dragons are known for. 140 00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:12,622 ♪♪ 141 00:05:12,657 --> 00:05:14,452 Careful you don't get heartburn. 142 00:05:14,486 --> 00:05:16,523 I made that android with a lot of C4. 143 00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:18,318 Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it with 144 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,079 a remote-controlled explode-y potion. 145 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,874 You have bested me. 146 00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:24,531 I am at your service. 147 00:05:24,565 --> 00:05:26,222 Good to be on the same parchment. 148 00:05:26,256 --> 00:05:27,706 Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off 149 00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:30,916 with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your -- 150 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,333 Wait, is this -- Why do you have an original 151 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,232 Ecto Cooler juice box from 1989? 152 00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:38,890 I hoard that which your kind covets. 153 00:05:38,924 --> 00:05:41,893 Give you 20 bucks for it.[ Chuckles ] Nice try. 154 00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,550 What the hell else are you hoarding down here? 155 00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:46,104 Cha-ching. "Small Soldiers" Spin Pops? 156 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,726 Don't open that.I'm not an idiot. 157 00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:51,005 Hey, why do you have Future's self-titled album on vinyl? 158 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,490 Look closer. 159 00:05:52,524 --> 00:05:54,492 Oh, shit. He signed it. 160 00:05:54,526 --> 00:05:56,183 Closer. 161 00:05:56,217 --> 00:05:58,254 He signed it in molly and Percocet? 162 00:05:58,288 --> 00:05:59,566 I could spend all night down here. 163 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,431 Do you indulge in volcanic fumes? 164 00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:05,123 Is it gonna fuck up my brain? 165 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,781 No. I'll do it anyway. 166 00:06:07,815 --> 00:06:10,956 Hoo, those were not cheap tickets, 167 00:06:10,991 --> 00:06:14,615 but, um, I'm down to clown. 168 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,377 Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk again, uh? 169 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:18,792 It's not important, Jerry. 170 00:06:18,826 --> 00:06:20,207 Okay, but why Florida? 171 00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:21,795 Because they don't ask questions. 172 00:06:21,829 --> 00:06:24,245 They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun. 173 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,971 Right, right. 174 00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:27,214 You can do this, Jerry. 175 00:06:27,248 --> 00:06:29,043 I can do this. 176 00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:30,700 I can do this. 177 00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:33,910 Ugh! 178 00:06:33,945 --> 00:06:36,050 Oh, yeah. 179 00:06:36,085 --> 00:06:37,707 Jipe: Hey, Jerry, after this game, 180 00:06:37,742 --> 00:06:39,640 come to my yacht and bring your cat. 181 00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:41,159 You got it, Jipe. 182 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,816 I got to admit, you were right. 183 00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:44,576 I've got to tell you something, Jerry. 184 00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:47,407 This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. 185 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,064 Woman: Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand? 186 00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:52,481 Someone took a small shit in the sand 187 00:06:52,515 --> 00:06:54,483 and buried it with, like, two little kicks 188 00:06:54,517 --> 00:06:56,899 and just left it here like a land mine. 189 00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:59,073 Why and who? 190 00:06:59,108 --> 00:07:01,248 It was him. 191 00:07:01,282 --> 00:07:02,663 [ Booing ] 192 00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,182 Help! 193 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,252 ♪ Yo 194 00:07:05,286 --> 00:07:08,462 ♪ Percocets, yeah, molly, Percocets, Percocets ♪ 195 00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:11,569 ♪ Percocets, yeah, molly, Percocets, Percocets ♪ 196 00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:14,848 ♪ Mask on, Mask on ♪ 197 00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:17,229 ♪ Gas gone, Never nod off ♪ 198 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:24,133 I'm being summoned by Morty. 199 00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,031 Yeah. He's, uh, texting me. 200 00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:28,206 Hmm. How are you responding? 201 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,518 Ugh, I tend not to, 202 00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:31,968 or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated GIF 203 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:35,316 that could be interpreted in almost any way. Brilliant. 204 00:07:35,351 --> 00:07:37,284 I summon thee. 205 00:07:37,318 --> 00:07:41,046 I summon thee, Balthromaw. 206 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:42,323 What the hell? 207 00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:44,394 Taylor Swift pumping her hands in the air? 208 00:07:44,429 --> 00:07:45,637 What does it mean when --It means you're lame. 209 00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:46,327 ♪ Yo 210 00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:49,538 ♪ Percocets, yeah, molly, Percocets, Percocets ♪ 211 00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:52,713 ♪ Percocets, yeah, molly, Percocets, Percocets ♪ 212 00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:55,336 ♪ Mask on, Mask on ♪ 213 00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:58,339 ♪ Gas gone, Never nod off ♪ 214 00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:03,621 Balthromaw: What's the saying? 215 00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:07,521 "Orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work." 216 00:08:07,556 --> 00:08:08,488 So dumb. 217 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:09,868 If there's ever a saying about me, 218 00:08:09,903 --> 00:08:12,181 I'll fly into the fucking Sun. 219 00:08:12,215 --> 00:08:14,873 [ Laughs ] 220 00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:17,531 Oh, you're small for a dragon, Rick. 221 00:08:17,566 --> 00:08:20,189 Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit. 222 00:08:20,223 --> 00:08:22,502 Then there will be sayings about you. 223 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,159 Your lessers will hunt you down, 224 00:08:25,194 --> 00:08:28,335 and you will be owned or slain. 225 00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:31,200 That's why they call it a dying breed, brother. 226 00:08:34,686 --> 00:08:35,653 Ugh! Ugh! 227 00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:37,344 Oh, God, ugh. 228 00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:38,828 My soul. Oh! 229 00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,692 Oh, yeah. I'm -- 230 00:08:40,727 --> 00:08:42,211 I'm -- I'm a dragon. 231 00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:43,730 Oh! Ugh, I'm bonding. 232 00:08:43,764 --> 00:08:45,076 I'm bonding too. 233 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,699 Oh! Yeah. 234 00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,011 What the fuck? 235 00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:50,184 Morty, I can explain. 236 00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:51,254 Stop! 237 00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:52,566 Why are you still doing it? 238 00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:54,534 Why does it feel better now? 239 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,708 I hope it's not because you're watching but don't go anywhere. 240 00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:58,572 How did you find us? 241 00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:02,680 We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery. 242 00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:04,923 Oh! Oh, yeah. 243 00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:07,201 Oh, man, ugh.Fuck this. 244 00:09:07,236 --> 00:09:09,549 You can take this stupid fake soul-bond contract, 245 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,552 and you can -- Mm! Ah! 246 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,587 No refunds. 247 00:09:13,622 --> 00:09:16,107 Your dragon soul-bonded with my grandpa. 248 00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:18,558 Oh, my! I am so sorry. 249 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,283 That is a total violation. 250 00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:21,388 Yeah, no shit. 251 00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:23,217 I'll take care of this at once. 252 00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:24,460 You slut dragon! 253 00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:25,703 What the fuck?You slut. 254 00:09:25,737 --> 00:09:26,600 Chill out, dude. Slut! 255 00:09:26,635 --> 00:09:27,946 Okay, that's --You slut! 256 00:09:27,981 --> 00:09:29,223 Y-You don't have to --Slut! 257 00:09:29,258 --> 00:09:30,466 Shame on you! 258 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,950 Shame, you slut! You slutty, slutty slut! 259 00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:33,883 Ow! Why the fuck does it feel like you're whipping me? 260 00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:37,784 Because your soul got tangled in a dirty.... Ah! 261 00:09:37,818 --> 00:09:38,888 ...slutty... Ow! 262 00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:40,234 ...slut soul! Ow! 263 00:09:40,269 --> 00:09:41,304 Let's go!Ow! Ow! 264 00:09:41,339 --> 00:09:42,720 Get to that portal, you slut. 265 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:45,239 Grandpa, do something, or I will tweet, 266 00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:47,241 and you will be canceled. 267 00:09:47,276 --> 00:09:50,797 Hey, Dandruff the Great, lighten up and give the kid his dragon. 268 00:09:50,831 --> 00:09:52,074 By whose command? 269 00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:53,247 You have no magic. 270 00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:55,249 Yeah, I know. I have actual power. 271 00:09:55,284 --> 00:09:56,492 Not here, you don't. 272 00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:59,633 True power looks like this -- 273 00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:01,635 stone monster. 274 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:04,086 Stick that up your ass.Oh, you're done? 275 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,537 I thought the rock monster was here to introduce a physicist. 276 00:10:09,781 --> 00:10:13,095 Spinal cord, uh, activate morphine. 277 00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,338 Oh, I might be fucked. 278 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,375 Lightning bridge! 279 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,654 Okay, he's gone. Listen up. 280 00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:22,345 There's probably animals in these hills. 281 00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,658 If you spare me, I can make your crotch a salt lick. 282 00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:28,800 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 283 00:10:30,975 --> 00:10:32,355 Thank you, Morty. 284 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,634 Figures you'd be higher status in Lame World. 285 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,532 Get your shit together, Lair Wrecker. 286 00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:38,120 We need to rescue Balthromaw. 287 00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:41,295 Morty, the moral of this story is bros before dragons. 288 00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:42,780 You know what I'm talking about? 289 00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:45,541 Yeah, if he dies while you're soul bonded, you die too. 290 00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:49,407 Morty, the moral of this story is bros rescue dragons. 291 00:10:52,859 --> 00:10:55,068 Balthromaw, by soul bonding with multiple riders, 292 00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:58,692 you have violated the treaty between dragon and mankind. 293 00:10:58,727 --> 00:11:03,179 The Dragonarchy sentences you to hang by the neck until dead. 294 00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:05,009 On the count of three. 295 00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:07,011 One Dragonarchy, 296 00:11:07,045 --> 00:11:08,909 two Dragonarchy, 297 00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:11,705 2 1/2 -- I just wanted to make sure -- 298 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:13,534 three! 299 00:11:13,569 --> 00:11:15,709 [ Choking ]Grandpa Rick, what's wrong? 300 00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:18,539 Oh, God. The wizard must have hung Balthromaw! 301 00:11:18,574 --> 00:11:20,231 Well, fuck it. Can we go back then? 302 00:11:20,265 --> 00:11:22,233 W-Well, no, no. It takes, like, 78 years 303 00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,613 to hang a dragon to death, so... 304 00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,374 Aw, man. It's so annoying. 305 00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:27,928 You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin 306 00:11:27,963 --> 00:11:29,378 with no water? Ugh! 307 00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:30,724 You know, like [clears throat] 308 00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:32,553 really, like, big one, you know, 309 00:11:32,588 --> 00:11:35,591 and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat? 310 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:36,868 It's -- It's annoying. All right. 311 00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:39,388 Morty, go ahead and activate this golem. 312 00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:41,735 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 313 00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,944 [ Golem roaring ] 314 00:11:43,979 --> 00:11:49,122 ♪♪ 315 00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:54,403 ♪♪ 316 00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:56,232 Fucking dumb. All right. 317 00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,856 Who wants to be infused with, like, uh, unreasonable power? 318 00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:01,479 Oh, can I be, like, a sexy arrow-shooty lady? 319 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,309 Yeah, whatever. There's no rules. I don't care. 320 00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:06,277 Morty, you want superpowers? 321 00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:08,279 No, thanks. I'm fine. I've got my book. 322 00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:09,936 All right. Good luck with that. 323 00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,454 Let's go. 324 00:12:11,489 --> 00:12:12,732 [ Roaring ] 325 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,285 [ Coughs, clears throat ] God, it's like -- 326 00:12:14,319 --> 00:12:15,493 Have you ever had too much orange juice, 327 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,943 or, like, you know how egg yolk 328 00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:18,807 kind of, like, gets in your throat? 329 00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:19,877 Yeah, we get it. 330 00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:20,809 Come on and hurry. 331 00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:22,880 W-We got to free Balthromaw. 332 00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:24,502 Upsulu --I got this. 333 00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:30,128 Morty, how's that book working out for you, 334 00:12:30,163 --> 00:12:32,337 you fucking d-d-dumbass? 335 00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:36,894 Huh. You know what? You're right. 336 00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:38,827 I could get used to this magic stuff. 337 00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:47,421 ♪♪ 338 00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:49,251 There's Balthromaw. 339 00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:50,597 Check this shit out. Watch this. 340 00:12:50,631 --> 00:12:51,667 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look. 341 00:12:51,701 --> 00:12:52,841 Don't even bother looking. 342 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:54,774 Just fucking let magic guide your arrow. 343 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,706 Summer, what the hell are you doing? 344 00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:59,157 Take this seriously.Shut the fuck up, Morty. 345 00:12:59,192 --> 00:13:01,504 Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought. 346 00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:03,817 Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole. 347 00:13:03,852 --> 00:13:05,198 Yeah, yeah. 348 00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:07,200 Ah! 349 00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:09,789 Oh, fuck, my fucking eye, oh! 350 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,861 What in the Medieval equivalent of tarnation -- 351 00:13:12,895 --> 00:13:15,001 Jesus Christ! 352 00:13:15,035 --> 00:13:16,519 Summer, you fucking idiot! 353 00:13:16,554 --> 00:13:18,694 Power of 12 feet. 354 00:13:18,728 --> 00:13:19,557 Uh, ow, fuck! 355 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,110 I take it all back! 356 00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:23,250 I fucking hate magic! 357 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:27,841 Ah! 358 00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,118 Slut thief! 359 00:13:29,153 --> 00:13:31,017 You're a slut thief! 360 00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:33,640 [ Electronic music playing ] 361 00:13:33,674 --> 00:13:36,022 Pretty fun boat, fun people. 362 00:13:36,056 --> 00:13:39,542 That's great, not being asked why I can talk. 363 00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:43,029 I'm a talking cat, but "Who cares why?" is my point. 364 00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:46,584 Well, nice talking to you for no reason. 365 00:13:48,448 --> 00:13:49,759 Jorge, that was a good one, 366 00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,554 but do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle is? 367 00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:52,832 Nah, what's that? 368 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,834 Dude, it's when you take the chick, 369 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,836 put her feet on a cathedral --Sorry to interrupt, guys. 370 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,839 Just want to clarify, are these real sex positions? 371 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,081 Because if they are, 372 00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:03,704 how are they gratifying to the male at all? 373 00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:05,603 And if the goal is to make something up, 374 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:09,676 why not make up something...funnier? 375 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:12,990 I'm asking too many questions, aren't I? 376 00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,267 How ironic. 377 00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:16,165 Get out of Florida, you overthinking cat. 378 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,443 Why don't you go overthink shit up north in Georgia? 379 00:14:18,478 --> 00:14:19,859 All: Hate that cat. 380 00:14:29,489 --> 00:14:31,180 You got any money for a cab? 381 00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:32,802 Why ask questions? 382 00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,356 Why not just have fun? 383 00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:35,736 I deserve that. 384 00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:38,532 Wizard: Attention, citizens of Draygon, 385 00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:41,363 a slut dragon has escaped. 386 00:14:41,397 --> 00:14:44,642 Anyone caught harboring it is also a slut. 387 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,299 That's how it goes.Ow, my eye. 388 00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:49,233 It pains me that you can feel my pain. 389 00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:50,544 Yeah, how about you suck your dick, 390 00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,201 which is also somehow my dick? 391 00:14:52,236 --> 00:14:55,756 Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy? 392 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,035 M-Maybe I can find that wizard's portal spell 393 00:14:58,069 --> 00:14:59,312 in here and g-get us home. 394 00:14:59,346 --> 00:15:00,969 How about finding the spell that unbinds me 395 00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,315 from your fucking dragon? 396 00:15:02,349 --> 00:15:04,317 Debranavox: No spells can do that. 397 00:15:04,351 --> 00:15:06,422 Only the wizard can unbind soul bonds. 398 00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:07,665 Uh, who the fuck are you? 399 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,494 Who are we? Who the fuck are you, bitch? 400 00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,841 Debrah, stop. We are the slut dragons. 401 00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:13,947 We live in these slut caves where we fuck, 402 00:15:13,982 --> 00:15:16,950 suck, and eat butt, and we kindly ask that you leave. 403 00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:19,435 If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us. 404 00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:20,850 Yeah! We like it down here 405 00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,163 'cause we can fuck woolly mammoths. Get out! 406 00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:24,785 Get the fuck out of here, Michael!Shut up, Michael! 407 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,270 You're the only one that fucks that thing. 408 00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:27,616 Get the fuck out of here. 409 00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,273 Well, at least I'm not into shit play. 410 00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:30,515 -Fuck you! -Hey, wait! 411 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,172 Everybody stop, stop! 412 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:33,794 Listen, this is all my fault. 413 00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:36,452 I started all this when I tried to control Balthromaw, 414 00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:37,626 and that was fucked up. 415 00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,283 Nobody should control anyone, 416 00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:40,698 especially that guy up there. 417 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,356 And, um, you can eat butt if you want, I guess. 418 00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:44,529 I, uh --I got this, Morty. 419 00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:46,290 Okay, listen up, slut dragons! 420 00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:48,016 Wouldn't you rather be sluts up there, 421 00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:50,535 have a fuck world instead of a fuck cave? 422 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,881 What's wrong with you? 423 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:54,022 This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. 424 00:15:54,056 --> 00:15:56,886 All dragons are sluts deep down, even the ones up above, 425 00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:59,027 but we would have to kill the wizard to be free. 426 00:15:59,061 --> 00:16:00,304 He is too powerful. 427 00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,892 There is a way to kill the wizard. 428 00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:04,549 Whoa. Who's this mysterious character? 429 00:16:04,584 --> 00:16:06,310 Shadow Jacker, you haven't come out 430 00:16:06,344 --> 00:16:08,001 of your masturbation cave in eons. 431 00:16:08,036 --> 00:16:11,384 It's high time I emerge from my cum cocoon. 432 00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:13,662 I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating 433 00:16:13,696 --> 00:16:15,043 to the sounds you all make. 434 00:16:15,077 --> 00:16:16,320 Jesus Christ. All right. 435 00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:17,390 C-Could use a little more mystery. 436 00:16:17,424 --> 00:16:19,012 Oh, oh, just now seeing the staff. 437 00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:22,395 We've never had enough sluts to defeat the wizard. 438 00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:24,880 Now, with the four fresh, wet sluts that 439 00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:28,401 just landed on our doorstep, we finally have a chance. 440 00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:30,575 So killing the wizard will break my soul bond. 441 00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,853 Yes, it solves all of our problems. 442 00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:35,166 We must begin a 10-slut soul orgy... 443 00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:36,685 Morty: Wait, wait, what? 444 00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,239 ...and become the all-slut slut phoenix dragon, Slut. 445 00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:40,585 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. 446 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,070 There's got to be something else in here. 447 00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:43,726 There's got to be another way. Just give me a second. 448 00:16:43,761 --> 00:16:45,728 I haven't read all this yet. 449 00:16:45,763 --> 00:16:49,042 [ All moaning ] 450 00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,044 Maybe don't tell your parents we did this? 451 00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:55,186 [ Moaning continues ] 452 00:16:55,221 --> 00:17:01,951 ♪♪ 453 00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:08,786 ♪♪ 454 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:15,413 ♪♪ 455 00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:18,106 Oh, oh, no. Oh -- Wait, please, no! 456 00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,624 Ice spell! Ice spell! 457 00:17:19,659 --> 00:17:21,454 Oh, God! 458 00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:23,180 That just made it last longer. 459 00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:24,940 Ah, it burns longer! 460 00:17:24,974 --> 00:17:26,907 Ah, I could have died fast! 461 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,120 Thank you, strangers. 462 00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:33,811 Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment. 463 00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,778 It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy. 464 00:17:35,813 --> 00:17:39,058 All right, guys. I'll use this to open a portal. 465 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,612 Uh, open a portal to Earth. 466 00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:43,441 Let's get the hell out of here fast. 467 00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:44,994 God, look at this piece of shit. 468 00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:47,687 Why is there writing on it? Who writes on a portal? 469 00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:52,450 Should've taken me up on those Wolverine claws instead, Morty. 470 00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:54,107 Wait, why did the dragon come? 471 00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:56,316 I was thinking we could hang out? 472 00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:58,318 Oh, yeah. Whoa, Jesus. 473 00:17:58,353 --> 00:18:00,148 Your dad's been texting me this whole time? 474 00:18:00,182 --> 00:18:01,735 Uh, he's at an airport with a cat. 475 00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:03,461 Okay, that -- that sounds -- Wow. 476 00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:04,738 You know, I better check on him. 477 00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:06,464 Big season finale right there, you know? 478 00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:07,983 Better, uh -- Better go right now. 479 00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:09,916 Also, I told you not to get a dragon, Morty. 480 00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:11,987 This is your fault. Fuck you, worst adventure ever. 481 00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:13,471 Worst adventure ever. 482 00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:16,405 Yeah, uh, I guess you better be on your way too, Balthromaw. 483 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,131 Well, I've been thinking. 484 00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:21,997 What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me. 485 00:18:22,031 --> 00:18:23,585 Maybe we could try again? 486 00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,931 Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out 487 00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:27,347 with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded. 488 00:18:27,382 --> 00:18:29,108 I didn't know how sexual dragons were. 489 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,593 I kind of just wanted to do some D&D stuff, you know? 490 00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:33,836 And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa 491 00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,597 and every dragon we could find, yeah? 492 00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,599 No, look, can you please just go? 493 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,187 I-I-I really want to shower. 494 00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:41,120 Maybe a quick soul bone before I go. 495 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,328 I-I-I-I'm good. 496 00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:43,605 I think I just need to be alone 497 00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:45,779 and sort of un-- unpack all this. 498 00:18:45,814 --> 00:18:46,849 What about your grandpa? 499 00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,368 Would he want to? I can wait. 500 00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:49,714 No, I think you better go. 501 00:18:49,749 --> 00:18:51,509 I-I'm gonna take that shower. 502 00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:54,167 If it's just warm liquid you want trickled over your body, 503 00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:55,444 I could maybe -- No, no, look. 504 00:18:55,479 --> 00:18:56,859 I just want to be clean! 505 00:18:56,894 --> 00:18:59,068 I-I-I feel dirty after everything that's happened. 506 00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:01,795 How about a quick hand bond? 507 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,797 I like doing it.You're embarrassing yourself. 508 00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:05,454 I-I-I'm closing the door. 509 00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:08,457 Fucking soul teasers. 510 00:19:08,492 --> 00:19:10,632 This is a cool car. I like having fun. 511 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,565 That's what I'm talking about. Keep it moving. 512 00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,083 Don't ask why I can talk. 513 00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,809 Mm, mm, mm. Uh-huh. 514 00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:18,226 For sure. For sure. 515 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:19,675 Where are we going? 516 00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:22,091 Quantum radiator might need some nanowater. 517 00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:24,197 We -- We can stretch our legs. 518 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,513 [ Bottles clatter ] 519 00:19:29,547 --> 00:19:32,861 So, uh, why can you talk? 520 00:19:32,895 --> 00:19:34,242 What is this? 521 00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:36,589 I need you in one spot for a clean mind scan. 522 00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,763 Mind scan? Look, you're overthinking it. 523 00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,696 The point of a talking cat is to have fun. 524 00:19:40,731 --> 00:19:43,182 I find the insinuation that I can't ask questions 525 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,700 andhave fun condescending. 526 00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:47,496 Y-You find it condescending, Jerry?Yes. 527 00:19:47,531 --> 00:19:50,327 All right. I'm from outer space. Happy? No. 528 00:19:50,361 --> 00:19:52,536 Exactly, because no answer would be satisfying. 529 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:53,847 Because it's a lie. 530 00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:56,195 Let's see the truth. 531 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,265 What in the... 532 00:19:57,299 --> 00:20:00,199 [ Explosions ] 533 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,201 Oh, son of a bitch. 534 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,788 Jerry, don't.I want to see. 535 00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:05,756 No, you do not. 536 00:20:07,896 --> 00:20:11,037 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 537 00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:13,281 At least now maybe -- 538 00:20:13,315 --> 00:20:14,385 Get the hell out of here! 539 00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,386 But I've got nowhere to go. 540 00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:16,732 Get out! Get out! 541 00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:17,733 Get out! 542 00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:20,219 [ Crying ] 543 00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:25,707 [ Crying ] 544 00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:30,159 He was in my home where I keep photos of my parents. 545 00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:31,299 Jerry, I have a device. 546 00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:32,645 I-It can make us forget. 547 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:35,648 No, I don't think we should forget, 548 00:20:35,682 --> 00:20:37,097 not this. 549 00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:39,238 Someone has to remember. 550 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,963 Someone will. 551 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,243 Did we crash? 552 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,278 Where's the cat? 553 00:20:45,313 --> 00:20:47,246 He, uh, ran away. 554 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,317 Did you scan his brain?Yeah. 555 00:20:49,351 --> 00:20:50,835 Did you find out why he can talk? 556 00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,734 He's from outer space. 557 00:20:52,768 --> 00:20:54,598 Outer space? 558 00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:56,324 That little -- [ Chuckles ] 559 00:20:56,358 --> 00:20:59,775 Of course, total mind fuck. 560 00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:07,611 ♪♪ 561 00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:15,204 ♪♪ 562 00:21:15,239 --> 00:21:23,143 ♪♪ 563 00:21:23,178 --> 00:21:30,910 ♪♪ 564 00:21:35,397 --> 00:21:37,537 Now, that's what I call draggin'. 565 00:21:37,572 --> 00:21:38,883 What? It's a joke. 566 00:21:38,918 --> 00:21:41,334 You're a dragon draggin' your stuff. 567 00:21:41,369 --> 00:21:42,818 I understand. 568 00:21:42,853 --> 00:21:44,372 So, how you doing? 569 00:21:44,406 --> 00:21:46,374 I grow weary of you humans. 570 00:21:46,408 --> 00:21:48,721 How about 50 bucks? You weary of 50 bucks? 571 00:21:48,755 --> 00:21:50,170 I'm trying to cheat on my wife. 572 00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:52,380 I'm looking for a little magic, a little fantasy. 573 00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,382 You could use some help. Let's help each other, huh? 574 00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:55,728 50 bucks. 575 00:21:55,762 --> 00:21:58,351 [ Roars ] 576 00:21:59,870 --> 00:22:01,492 Nice. 577 00:22:01,527 --> 00:22:03,252 Is there a reason you can speak? 578 00:22:03,287 --> 00:22:05,738 Yeah, and I'm ashamed of it. 579 00:22:05,772 --> 00:22:08,361 Then speak of it no more. 580 00:22:08,396 --> 00:22:11,364 Do you wish to eat, maybe bond a little? 581 00:22:11,399 --> 00:22:13,366 Yeah, I could bond. 582 00:22:13,401 --> 00:22:15,541 How long does it take you to fly to Florida? 583 00:22:16,956 --> 00:22:18,544 Did you get any of that? 41169

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