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1
00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:05,557
Rick, we did it!
We -- We got it!
2
00:00:05,591 --> 00:00:07,248
Hurry up, Morty.
Get in!
3
00:00:07,283 --> 00:00:08,663
Chachi!Fuck Chachi, Morty.
4
00:00:08,698 --> 00:00:10,734
Did you get it?He helped me escape prison.
5
00:00:10,769 --> 00:00:13,254
Did you get
the Ultimate Cube?
6
00:00:13,289 --> 00:00:14,566
Oh, it's purple.
7
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,016
Y-You said
it was purple.
8
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,396
I said mine was.
9
00:00:17,431 --> 00:00:19,053
I didn't know they all were.
10
00:00:19,088 --> 00:00:21,228
And now we do,
thanks to Chichi.
11
00:00:21,262 --> 00:00:22,608
Chachi.
12
00:00:24,265 --> 00:00:26,233
So, uh,
w-w-when do I get it?
13
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,682
Get what, a hug?
14
00:00:27,717 --> 00:00:29,408
Let's find a planet
with a garden hose first.
15
00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:30,789
A dragon.
A dragon.
16
00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:33,033
You asked me to cut class
and fight robots with you.
17
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,344
I said, "No."
18
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,587
You said, "Millions of lives
depend on it."
19
00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:37,244
I said, "I'll do it
for a dragon."
20
00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:38,935
You said, "Whatever."
21
00:00:38,969 --> 00:00:40,281
I want my dragon.
22
00:00:40,316 --> 00:00:41,696
You know who's into dragons,
Morty?
23
00:00:41,731 --> 00:00:43,595
Nerds that refuse to admit
they're Christian.
24
00:00:43,629 --> 00:00:45,700
I want my dragon.Let me give you
rocket shoes.
25
00:00:45,735 --> 00:00:47,185
Let me give you
Wolverine claws.
26
00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,807
Let me give you
a fucking rocket hat.
27
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,360
Just be sure to use it
with the rocket shoes,
28
00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:51,637
or it'll rip your head off.
29
00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:53,708
I want my dragon!
I want my dragon!
30
00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:55,055
I want my dragon![ Gas hisses ]
31
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,780
Oh.
32
00:00:56,815 --> 00:00:58,058
Oh, crap. [ Coughs ]
33
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,818
Crap.
34
00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:04,133
Dad, are you okay?
35
00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:05,996
Your ship
crashed in Malta.
36
00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:07,584
[ Groans ] I'm okay.
37
00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:10,208
Oh, thank God.
38
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,106
Dad, did you promise
Morty a dragon?
39
00:01:12,141 --> 00:01:13,659
Fuuuuuuu--
40
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:21,667
♪♪
41
00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:29,606
♪♪
42
00:01:29,641 --> 00:01:37,580
♪♪
43
00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:45,588
♪♪
44
00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:46,692
Ugh!
45
00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:48,936
Bleed here and here.
46
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:50,110
Rick:
I'm not co-bleeding.
47
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,697
Under authority
of our treaty
48
00:01:51,732 --> 00:01:53,803
'twixt the realms
of dragon and man...
49
00:01:53,837 --> 00:01:55,184
Oh, my God,
it's my first gay wedding.
50
00:01:55,218 --> 00:01:56,530
Summer!
51
00:01:56,564 --> 00:01:58,704
...I hereby bind
this noble serpent and rider
52
00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:00,361
at the soul.
53
00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:03,364
Here's your tome of
dragon spells and lore.
54
00:02:03,399 --> 00:02:04,710
That'll have everything
you need.
55
00:02:04,745 --> 00:02:05,987
Enjoy your dragon.
56
00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:07,610
Okay, dragon,
here's the house rules.
57
00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:10,544
[ Roars ]
My name is Balthromaw,
58
00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:13,305
breaker of sky,
slayer of mountain.
59
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,963
Rule one -- You are now scooper
of your own poops,
60
00:02:15,997 --> 00:02:19,173
or I will take you down like
the black-light poster you are.
61
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,968
I don't got any more rules.
That's it.
62
00:02:21,002 --> 00:02:22,314
[ Door closes ]
63
00:02:22,349 --> 00:02:24,178
I'm guessing you'd rather not
be tagged in this.
64
00:02:24,213 --> 00:02:26,146
Okay, I'll bite.
65
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,457
What's with
the talking cat?
66
00:02:27,492 --> 00:02:29,079
It's a dragon,
dip knob.
67
00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:30,564
I know that's a dragon.
68
00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:33,394
I'm talking about
the talking cat in my bedroom.
69
00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,293
Jerry, why would I give Morty
a talking dragon
70
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:37,157
and you a talking cat
at the same time?
71
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:38,641
Those concepts bump.
72
00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,401
If you're talking to a cat,
it's an abnormal event
73
00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:42,852
unrelated to me like
when you went to Pluto
74
00:02:42,886 --> 00:02:44,405
or fucked my daughter.
75
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,132
Okay, there's really no need
to get savage.
76
00:02:48,616 --> 00:02:49,755
Cat: So?
77
00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:51,481
Eh, he says he has nothing
to do with your talking.
78
00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,759
Told you.
So then
why are you talking?
79
00:02:53,794 --> 00:02:56,245
Why should that matter?Why should it not matter?
80
00:02:56,279 --> 00:02:58,350
How do I know I'm not
hallucinating?
81
00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:00,352
Rick said this is
an abnormal event.
82
00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:02,389
Do you always need Rick
to tell you what's going on?
83
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,494
Maybe it's time you stopped
asking questions
84
00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:06,841
and started having fun.
85
00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:08,222
Oh.
86
00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:11,191
Wow, okay.
87
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,364
So, what do you want?
88
00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:13,848
I want you to take us
to the airport
89
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:16,403
and get us two
first-class tickets to Florida.
90
00:03:16,437 --> 00:03:19,854
Why, I --
I can do that.
91
00:03:19,889 --> 00:03:22,098
[ Laughing ]
92
00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:24,376
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
93
00:03:24,411 --> 00:03:27,068
Oh, this is so cool!
94
00:03:27,103 --> 00:03:29,381
[ Sighs ]
95
00:03:31,107 --> 00:03:33,523
I await
your next command.
96
00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,870
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nobody is commanding anybody.
97
00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:39,357
I love soaring through the sky
with you as equals.
98
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:40,772
W-What do you
want to do?
99
00:03:40,806 --> 00:03:44,051
I want to enter my lair
and sleep upon my hoard
100
00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:46,881
until the Age of Man
expires.
101
00:03:46,916 --> 00:03:47,951
Okay.
102
00:03:47,986 --> 00:03:49,539
Split the diff?
103
00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:52,715
20-minute nap
and soar through the sky?
104
00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:54,095
Ugh.
105
00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:55,925
As you command.
106
00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:57,582
Okay, see you soon.
107
00:03:57,616 --> 00:03:58,928
T-This is fun.
108
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:01,275
Yeah, right.
109
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,553
What's this show called,
"Ass"?
110
00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:06,246
Yeah, it's like "Bones,"
but they solve ass crimes.
111
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,385
Woman on TV:
This ass is a clue.
112
00:04:07,419 --> 00:04:08,558
Are these two
gonna hook up?
113
00:04:08,593 --> 00:04:10,905
No, and only the lame fans
want that.
114
00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,390
Don't tell me
how to enjoy things.
115
00:04:12,424 --> 00:04:14,254
Go to her ass.That's Brenner.
116
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,153
Go to Brenner Ass.
117
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:18,396
Honeymoon over
already?
118
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:19,466
What's that
supposed to mean?
119
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,295
Admit it, Morty.
Dragons suck.
120
00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:23,297
Why don't you admit you don't
anyone else to be happy
121
00:04:23,332 --> 00:04:26,300
because
you're a sad old fart?
122
00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:27,991
How do you
saddle a fart?
123
00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:29,407
Holy shit.
Look!
124
00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:31,754
-I love you, Ass.
-I love you, Brenner.
125
00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:32,927
No.
Shh.
126
00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:34,584
Ah!
Oh!
127
00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:37,104
And that's the end of the
"Morty Gets a Dragon" episode.
128
00:04:37,138 --> 00:04:38,278
Are you gonna
slay it?
129
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,590
First off,
I always slay it, queen.
130
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,592
Secondly, yes.Should I pause "Ass"?
131
00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:45,664
Nah, it's kind of boring
now that they're together.
132
00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:47,528
[ Snoring ]
133
00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:52,326
Hey, fuckface.
134
00:04:52,361 --> 00:04:55,191
Will you shut the fuck up
or at least roll over?
135
00:04:55,225 --> 00:04:57,297
[ Groans ]
Oh, no, it burns.
136
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,609
Oh, my God.
Oh, the fire of -- of it all.
137
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:01,611
Ah, if only I had
prepared better
138
00:05:01,646 --> 00:05:03,441
for this terrifying battle
by remembering
139
00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:05,719
the only thing dragons
are known for.
140
00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:12,622
♪♪
141
00:05:12,657 --> 00:05:14,452
Careful you don't
get heartburn.
142
00:05:14,486 --> 00:05:16,523
I made that android
with a lot of C4.
143
00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:18,318
Oh, I'm sorry.
I imbued it with
144
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,079
a remote-controlled
explode-y potion.
145
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,874
You have bested me.
146
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:24,531
I am at your service.
147
00:05:24,565 --> 00:05:26,222
Good to be on
the same parchment.
148
00:05:26,256 --> 00:05:27,706
Now, I'm gonna tell
my grandson you ran off
149
00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:30,916
with a low-flying 747
while you pack up your --
150
00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,333
Wait, is this --
Why do you have an original
151
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,232
Ecto Cooler
juice box from 1989?
152
00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:38,890
I hoard that which
your kind covets.
153
00:05:38,924 --> 00:05:41,893
Give you 20 bucks for it.[ Chuckles ] Nice try.
154
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,550
What the hell else
are you hoarding down here?
155
00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:46,104
Cha-ching.
"Small Soldiers" Spin Pops?
156
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,726
Don't open that.I'm not an idiot.
157
00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:51,005
Hey, why do you have Future's
self-titled album on vinyl?
158
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,490
Look closer.
159
00:05:52,524 --> 00:05:54,492
Oh, shit.
He signed it.
160
00:05:54,526 --> 00:05:56,183
Closer.
161
00:05:56,217 --> 00:05:58,254
He signed it in molly
and Percocet?
162
00:05:58,288 --> 00:05:59,566
I could spend all night
down here.
163
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,431
Do you indulge
in volcanic fumes?
164
00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:05,123
Is it gonna
fuck up my brain?
165
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,781
No.
I'll do it anyway.
166
00:06:07,815 --> 00:06:10,956
Hoo, those were not
cheap tickets,
167
00:06:10,991 --> 00:06:14,615
but, um,
I'm down to clown.
168
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,377
Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk
again, uh?
169
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:18,792
It's not important,
Jerry.
170
00:06:18,826 --> 00:06:20,207
Okay,
but why Florida?
171
00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:21,795
Because they don't
ask questions.
172
00:06:21,829 --> 00:06:24,245
They play volleyball,
they party, and they have fun.
173
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,971
Right, right.
174
00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:27,214
You can do this,
Jerry.
175
00:06:27,248 --> 00:06:29,043
I can do this.
176
00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:30,700
I can do this.
177
00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:33,910
Ugh!
178
00:06:33,945 --> 00:06:36,050
Oh, yeah.
179
00:06:36,085 --> 00:06:37,707
Jipe:
Hey, Jerry, after this game,
180
00:06:37,742 --> 00:06:39,640
come to my yacht
and bring your cat.
181
00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:41,159
You got it, Jipe.
182
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,816
I got to admit,
you were right.
183
00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:44,576
I've got to tell you
something, Jerry.
184
00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:47,407
This is the happiest I've ever
been in my entire life.
185
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,064
Woman: Oh, gross!
Who shit in the sand?
186
00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:52,481
Someone took a small shit
in the sand
187
00:06:52,515 --> 00:06:54,483
and buried it with, like,
two little kicks
188
00:06:54,517 --> 00:06:56,899
and just left it here
like a land mine.
189
00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:59,073
Why and who?
190
00:06:59,108 --> 00:07:01,248
It was him.
191
00:07:01,282 --> 00:07:02,663
[ Booing ]
192
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,182
Help!
193
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,252
♪ Yo
194
00:07:05,286 --> 00:07:08,462
♪ Percocets, yeah, molly,
Percocets, Percocets ♪
195
00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:11,569
♪ Percocets, yeah, molly,
Percocets, Percocets ♪
196
00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:14,848
♪ Mask on,
Mask on ♪
197
00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:17,229
♪ Gas gone,
Never nod off ♪
198
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:24,133
I'm being summoned
by Morty.
199
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,031
Yeah.
He's, uh, texting me.
200
00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:28,206
Hmm.
How are you responding?
201
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,518
Ugh, I tend not to,
202
00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:31,968
or maybe I'll send, like,
a popular animated GIF
203
00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:35,316
that could be interpreted
in almost any way.
Brilliant.
204
00:07:35,351 --> 00:07:37,284
I summon thee.
205
00:07:37,318 --> 00:07:41,046
I summon thee,
Balthromaw.
206
00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:42,323
What the hell?
207
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:44,394
Taylor Swift pumping her hands
in the air?
208
00:07:44,429 --> 00:07:45,637
What does it mean when --It means you're lame.
209
00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:46,327
♪ Yo
210
00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:49,538
♪ Percocets, yeah, molly,
Percocets, Percocets ♪
211
00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:52,713
♪ Percocets, yeah, molly,
Percocets, Percocets ♪
212
00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:55,336
♪ Mask on,
Mask on ♪
213
00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:58,339
♪ Gas gone,
Never nod off ♪
214
00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:03,621
Balthromaw:
What's the saying?
215
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:07,521
"Orcs work to live.
Dwarves live to work."
216
00:08:07,556 --> 00:08:08,488
So dumb.
217
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:09,868
If there's ever a saying
about me,
218
00:08:09,903 --> 00:08:12,181
I'll fly into
the fucking Sun.
219
00:08:12,215 --> 00:08:14,873
[ Laughs ]
220
00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:17,531
Oh, you're small for a dragon,
Rick.
221
00:08:17,566 --> 00:08:20,189
Well, I sleep on an extra big
pile of awesome shit.
222
00:08:20,223 --> 00:08:22,502
Then there will be sayings
about you.
223
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,159
Your lessers
will hunt you down,
224
00:08:25,194 --> 00:08:28,335
and you will be
owned or slain.
225
00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:31,200
That's why they call it
a dying breed, brother.
226
00:08:34,686 --> 00:08:35,653
Ugh! Ugh!
227
00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:37,344
Oh, God, ugh.
228
00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:38,828
My soul.
Oh!
229
00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,692
Oh, yeah.
I'm --
230
00:08:40,727 --> 00:08:42,211
I'm -- I'm a dragon.
231
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:43,730
Oh!
Ugh, I'm bonding.
232
00:08:43,764 --> 00:08:45,076
I'm bonding too.
233
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,699
Oh!
Yeah.
234
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,011
What the fuck?
235
00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:50,184
Morty, I can explain.
236
00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:51,254
Stop!
237
00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:52,566
Why are you
still doing it?
238
00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:54,534
Why does it
feel better now?
239
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,708
I hope it's not because you're
watching but don't go anywhere.
240
00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:58,572
How did you find us?
241
00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:02,680
We followed the smell
of sulfur and skankery.
242
00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:04,923
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
243
00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:07,201
Oh, man, ugh.Fuck this.
244
00:09:07,236 --> 00:09:09,549
You can take this stupid
fake soul-bond contract,
245
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,552
and you can -- Mm!
Ah!
246
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,587
No refunds.
247
00:09:13,622 --> 00:09:16,107
Your dragon soul-bonded
with my grandpa.
248
00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:18,558
Oh, my!
I am so sorry.
249
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,283
That is
a total violation.
250
00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:21,388
Yeah, no shit.
251
00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:23,217
I'll take care of this
at once.
252
00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:24,460
You slut dragon!
253
00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:25,703
What the fuck?You slut.
254
00:09:25,737 --> 00:09:26,600
Chill out, dude.
Slut!
255
00:09:26,635 --> 00:09:27,946
Okay, that's --You slut!
256
00:09:27,981 --> 00:09:29,223
Y-You don't have to --Slut!
257
00:09:29,258 --> 00:09:30,466
Shame on you!
258
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,950
Shame, you slut!
You slutty, slutty slut!
259
00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:33,883
Ow! Why the fuck does it feel
like you're whipping me?
260
00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:37,784
Because your soul got tangled
in a dirty....
Ah!
261
00:09:37,818 --> 00:09:38,888
...slutty...
Ow!
262
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:40,234
...slut soul!
Ow!
263
00:09:40,269 --> 00:09:41,304
Let's go!Ow! Ow!
264
00:09:41,339 --> 00:09:42,720
Get to that portal,
you slut.
265
00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:45,239
Grandpa, do something,
or I will tweet,
266
00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:47,241
and you will be canceled.
267
00:09:47,276 --> 00:09:50,797
Hey, Dandruff the Great, lighten
up and give the kid his dragon.
268
00:09:50,831 --> 00:09:52,074
By whose command?
269
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:53,247
You have no magic.
270
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:55,249
Yeah, I know.
I have actual power.
271
00:09:55,284 --> 00:09:56,492
Not here, you don't.
272
00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:59,633
True power looks like this --
273
00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:01,635
stone monster.
274
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:04,086
Stick that up your ass.Oh, you're done?
275
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,537
I thought the rock monster was
here to introduce a physicist.
276
00:10:09,781 --> 00:10:13,095
Spinal cord, uh,
activate morphine.
277
00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,338
Oh,
I might be fucked.
278
00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,375
Lightning bridge!
279
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,654
Okay, he's gone.
Listen up.
280
00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:22,345
There's probably animals
in these hills.
281
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,658
If you spare me, I can make
your crotch a salt lick.
282
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:28,800
Agana aksaka sapooloo.
283
00:10:30,975 --> 00:10:32,355
Thank you, Morty.
284
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,634
Figures you'd be higher status
in Lame World.
285
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,532
Get your shit together,
Lair Wrecker.
286
00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:38,120
We need to rescue
Balthromaw.
287
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:41,295
Morty, the moral of this story
is bros before dragons.
288
00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:42,780
You know what
I'm talking about?
289
00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:45,541
Yeah, if he dies while
you're soul bonded, you die too.
290
00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:49,407
Morty, the moral of this story
is bros rescue dragons.
291
00:10:52,859 --> 00:10:55,068
Balthromaw, by soul bonding
with multiple riders,
292
00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:58,692
you have violated the treaty
between dragon and mankind.
293
00:10:58,727 --> 00:11:03,179
The Dragonarchy sentences you
to hang by the neck until dead.
294
00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:05,009
On the count of three.
295
00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:07,011
One Dragonarchy,
296
00:11:07,045 --> 00:11:08,909
two Dragonarchy,
297
00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:11,705
2 1/2 --
I just wanted to make sure --
298
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:13,534
three!
299
00:11:13,569 --> 00:11:15,709
[ Choking ]Grandpa Rick, what's wrong?
300
00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:18,539
Oh, God. The wizard must have
hung Balthromaw!
301
00:11:18,574 --> 00:11:20,231
Well, fuck it.
Can we go back then?
302
00:11:20,265 --> 00:11:22,233
W-Well, no, no.
It takes, like, 78 years
303
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,613
to hang a dragon
to death, so...
304
00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,374
Aw, man.
It's so annoying.
305
00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:27,928
You ever, like, try to swallow
a really big vitamin
306
00:11:27,963 --> 00:11:29,378
with no water?
Ugh!
307
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:30,724
You know, like
[clears throat]
308
00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:32,553
really, like,
big one, you know,
309
00:11:32,588 --> 00:11:35,591
and it kind of gets,
ugh, stuck in your throat?
310
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:36,868
It's -- It's annoying.
All right.
311
00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:39,388
Morty, go ahead
and activate this golem.
312
00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:41,735
Agana aksaka sapooloo.
313
00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,944
[ Golem roaring ]
314
00:11:43,979 --> 00:11:49,122
♪♪
315
00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:54,403
♪♪
316
00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:56,232
Fucking dumb.
All right.
317
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,856
Who wants to be infused with,
like, uh, unreasonable power?
318
00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:01,479
Oh, can I be, like,
a sexy arrow-shooty lady?
319
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,309
Yeah, whatever.
There's no rules. I don't care.
320
00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:06,277
Morty,
you want superpowers?
321
00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:08,279
No, thanks. I'm fine.
I've got my book.
322
00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:09,936
All right.
Good luck with that.
323
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,454
Let's go.
324
00:12:11,489 --> 00:12:12,732
[ Roaring ]
325
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,285
[ Coughs, clears throat ]
God, it's like --
326
00:12:14,319 --> 00:12:15,493
Have you ever had too much
orange juice,
327
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,943
or, like,
you know how egg yolk
328
00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:18,807
kind of, like,
gets in your throat?
329
00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:19,877
Yeah, we get it.
330
00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:20,809
Come on and hurry.
331
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:22,880
W-We got to free
Balthromaw.
332
00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:24,502
Upsulu --I got this.
333
00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:30,128
Morty, how's that book
working out for you,
334
00:12:30,163 --> 00:12:32,337
you fucking d-d-dumbass?
335
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:36,894
Huh. You know what?
You're right.
336
00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:38,827
I could get used
to this magic stuff.
337
00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:47,421
♪♪
338
00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:49,251
There's Balthromaw.
339
00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:50,597
Check this shit out.
Watch this.
340
00:12:50,631 --> 00:12:51,667
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Don't even look.
341
00:12:51,701 --> 00:12:52,841
Don't even bother looking.
342
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:54,774
Just fucking let magic
guide your arrow.
343
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,706
Summer, what the hell
are you doing?
344
00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:59,157
Take this seriously.Shut the fuck up, Morty.
345
00:12:59,192 --> 00:13:01,504
Stop trying to pretend like
magic involves skill or thought.
346
00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:03,817
Summer, make it look like it's
coming out of your butthole.
347
00:13:03,852 --> 00:13:05,198
Yeah, yeah.
348
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:07,200
Ah!
349
00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:09,789
Oh, fuck,
my fucking eye, oh!
350
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,861
What in the Medieval
equivalent of tarnation --
351
00:13:12,895 --> 00:13:15,001
Jesus Christ!
352
00:13:15,035 --> 00:13:16,519
Summer,
you fucking idiot!
353
00:13:16,554 --> 00:13:18,694
Power of 12 feet.
354
00:13:18,728 --> 00:13:19,557
Uh, ow, fuck!
355
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,110
I take it all back!
356
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:23,250
I fucking hate magic!
357
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:27,841
Ah!
358
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,118
Slut thief!
359
00:13:29,153 --> 00:13:31,017
You're a slut thief!
360
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:33,640
[ Electronic music playing ]
361
00:13:33,674 --> 00:13:36,022
Pretty fun boat,
fun people.
362
00:13:36,056 --> 00:13:39,542
That's great, not being asked
why I can talk.
363
00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:43,029
I'm a talking cat, but
"Who cares why?" is my point.
364
00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:46,584
Well, nice talking to you
for no reason.
365
00:13:48,448 --> 00:13:49,759
Jorge,
that was a good one,
366
00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,554
but do you know what
a peanut butter gargoyle is?
367
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:52,832
Nah, what's that?
368
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,834
Dude, it's when you
take the chick,
369
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,836
put her feet on a cathedral --Sorry to interrupt, guys.
370
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,839
Just want to clarify,
are these real sex positions?
371
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,081
Because if they are,
372
00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:03,704
how are they gratifying
to the male at all?
373
00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:05,603
And if the goal is
to make something up,
374
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:09,676
why not make up
something...funnier?
375
00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:12,990
I'm asking too many questions,
aren't I?
376
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,267
How ironic.
377
00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:16,165
Get out of Florida,
you overthinking cat.
378
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,443
Why don't you go overthink shit
up north in Georgia?
379
00:14:18,478 --> 00:14:19,859
All: Hate that cat.
380
00:14:29,489 --> 00:14:31,180
You got any money
for a cab?
381
00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:32,802
Why ask questions?
382
00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,356
Why not just have fun?
383
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:35,736
I deserve that.
384
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:38,532
Wizard:
Attention, citizens of Draygon,
385
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:41,363
a slut dragon has escaped.
386
00:14:41,397 --> 00:14:44,642
Anyone caught harboring it
is also a slut.
387
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,299
That's how it goes.Ow, my eye.
388
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:49,233
It pains me that
you can feel my pain.
389
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:50,544
Yeah, how about
you suck your dick,
390
00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,201
which is also
somehow my dick?
391
00:14:52,236 --> 00:14:55,756
Aw, why can't couples that start
out cheating ever end up happy?
392
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,035
M-Maybe I can find
that wizard's portal spell
393
00:14:58,069 --> 00:14:59,312
in here and g-get us home.
394
00:14:59,346 --> 00:15:00,969
How about finding the spell
that unbinds me
395
00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,315
from your fucking dragon?
396
00:15:02,349 --> 00:15:04,317
Debranavox:
No spells can do that.
397
00:15:04,351 --> 00:15:06,422
Only the wizard
can unbind soul bonds.
398
00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:07,665
Uh, who the fuck are you?
399
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,494
Who are we?
Who the fuck are you, bitch?
400
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,841
Debrah, stop.
We are the slut dragons.
401
00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:13,947
We live in these slut caves
where we fuck,
402
00:15:13,982 --> 00:15:16,950
suck, and eat butt, and
we kindly ask that you leave.
403
00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:19,435
If the wizard knows we are here,
he will imprison us.
404
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:20,850
Yeah!
We like it down here
405
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,163
'cause we can fuck
woolly mammoths. Get out!
406
00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:24,785
Get the fuck out of here,
Michael!Shut up, Michael!
407
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,270
You're the only one
that fucks that thing.
408
00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:27,616
Get the fuck out of here.
409
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,273
Well, at least
I'm not into shit play.
410
00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:30,515
-Fuck you!
-Hey, wait!
411
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,172
Everybody stop, stop!
412
00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:33,794
Listen,
this is all my fault.
413
00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:36,452
I started all this when
I tried to control Balthromaw,
414
00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:37,626
and that was fucked up.
415
00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,283
Nobody should control anyone,
416
00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:40,698
especially that guy up there.
417
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,356
And, um, you can eat butt
if you want, I guess.
418
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:44,529
I, uh --I got this, Morty.
419
00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:46,290
Okay, listen up,
slut dragons!
420
00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:48,016
Wouldn't you rather
be sluts up there,
421
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:50,535
have a fuck world
instead of a fuck cave?
422
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,881
What's wrong with you?
423
00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:54,022
This man with a ponytail
makes a valid point.
424
00:15:54,056 --> 00:15:56,886
All dragons are sluts deep down,
even the ones up above,
425
00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:59,027
but we would have to kill
the wizard to be free.
426
00:15:59,061 --> 00:16:00,304
He is too powerful.
427
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,892
There is a way
to kill the wizard.
428
00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:04,549
Whoa.
Who's this mysterious character?
429
00:16:04,584 --> 00:16:06,310
Shadow Jacker,
you haven't come out
430
00:16:06,344 --> 00:16:08,001
of your masturbation cave
in eons.
431
00:16:08,036 --> 00:16:11,384
It's high time I emerge
from my cum cocoon.
432
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:13,662
I grow tired of eavesdropping
and masturbating
433
00:16:13,696 --> 00:16:15,043
to the sounds
you all make.
434
00:16:15,077 --> 00:16:16,320
Jesus Christ.
All right.
435
00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:17,390
C-Could use
a little more mystery.
436
00:16:17,424 --> 00:16:19,012
Oh, oh, just now
seeing the staff.
437
00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:22,395
We've never had enough sluts
to defeat the wizard.
438
00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:24,880
Now, with the four fresh,
wet sluts that
439
00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:28,401
just landed on our doorstep,
we finally have a chance.
440
00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:30,575
So killing the wizard
will break my soul bond.
441
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,853
Yes, it solves
all of our problems.
442
00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:35,166
We must begin
a 10-slut soul orgy...
443
00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:36,685
Morty: Wait, wait, what?
444
00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,239
...and become the all-slut
slut phoenix dragon, Slut.
445
00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:40,585
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Hold on.
446
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,070
There's got to be
something else in here.
447
00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:43,726
There's got to be another way.
Just give me a second.
448
00:16:43,761 --> 00:16:45,728
I haven't read
all this yet.
449
00:16:45,763 --> 00:16:49,042
[ All moaning ]
450
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,044
Maybe don't tell your parents
we did this?
451
00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:55,186
[ Moaning continues ]
452
00:16:55,221 --> 00:17:01,951
♪♪
453
00:17:01,986 --> 00:17:08,786
♪♪
454
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:15,413
♪♪
455
00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:18,106
Oh, oh, no.
Oh -- Wait, please, no!
456
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,624
Ice spell!
Ice spell!
457
00:17:19,659 --> 00:17:21,454
Oh, God!
458
00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:23,180
That just made it
last longer.
459
00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:24,940
Ah, it burns longer!
460
00:17:24,974 --> 00:17:26,907
Ah, I could have died fast!
461
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,120
Thank you, strangers.
462
00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:33,811
Well, it's your world now.
Have fun with empowerment.
463
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,778
It seems to make everyone
that gets it really happy.
464
00:17:35,813 --> 00:17:39,058
All right, guys.
I'll use this to open a portal.
465
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,612
Uh, open a portal
to Earth.
466
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:43,441
Let's get the hell
out of here fast.
467
00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:44,994
God, look at
this piece of shit.
468
00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:47,687
Why is there writing on it?
Who writes on a portal?
469
00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:52,450
Should've taken me up on those
Wolverine claws instead, Morty.
470
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:54,107
Wait,
why did the dragon come?
471
00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:56,316
I was thinking
we could hang out?
472
00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:58,318
Oh, yeah.
Whoa, Jesus.
473
00:17:58,353 --> 00:18:00,148
Your dad's been texting me
this whole time?
474
00:18:00,182 --> 00:18:01,735
Uh, he's at an airport
with a cat.
475
00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:03,461
Okay, that --
that sounds -- Wow.
476
00:18:03,496 --> 00:18:04,738
You know,
I better check on him.
477
00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:06,464
Big season finale right there,
you know?
478
00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:07,983
Better, uh --
Better go right now.
479
00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:09,916
Also, I told you not
to get a dragon, Morty.
480
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:11,987
This is your fault.
Fuck you, worst adventure ever.
481
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:13,471
Worst adventure ever.
482
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:16,405
Yeah, uh, I guess you better be
on your way too, Balthromaw.
483
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,131
Well, I've been thinking.
484
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:21,997
What you said back there in the
cave really resonated with me.
485
00:18:22,031 --> 00:18:23,585
Maybe we could
try again?
486
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,931
Look, to be honest,
I'm kind of grossed out
487
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:27,347
with the sexual nature
of how everything unfolded.
488
00:18:27,382 --> 00:18:29,108
I didn't know
how sexual dragons were.
489
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,593
I kind of just wanted to do
some D&D stuff, you know?
490
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:33,836
And have a soul orgy
with your sister and grandpa
491
00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,597
and every dragon
we could find, yeah?
492
00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,599
No, look,
can you please just go?
493
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,187
I-I-I really
want to shower.
494
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:41,120
Maybe a quick soul bone
before I go.
495
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,328
I-I-I-I'm good.
496
00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:43,605
I think
I just need to be alone
497
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:45,779
and sort of
un-- unpack all this.
498
00:18:45,814 --> 00:18:46,849
What about your grandpa?
499
00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,368
Would he want to?
I can wait.
500
00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:49,714
No,
I think you better go.
501
00:18:49,749 --> 00:18:51,509
I-I'm gonna take
that shower.
502
00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:54,167
If it's just warm liquid you
want trickled over your body,
503
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:55,444
I could maybe --
No, no, look.
504
00:18:55,479 --> 00:18:56,859
I just want to be clean!
505
00:18:56,894 --> 00:18:59,068
I-I-I feel dirty after
everything that's happened.
506
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:01,795
How about
a quick hand bond?
507
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,797
I like doing it.You're embarrassing yourself.
508
00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:05,454
I-I-I'm closing the door.
509
00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:08,457
Fucking soul teasers.
510
00:19:08,492 --> 00:19:10,632
This is a cool car.
I like having fun.
511
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,565
That's what I'm talking about.
Keep it moving.
512
00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,083
Don't ask why I can talk.
513
00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,809
Mm, mm, mm.
Uh-huh.
514
00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:18,226
For sure. For sure.
515
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:19,675
Where are we going?
516
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:22,091
Quantum radiator might need
some nanowater.
517
00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:24,197
We --
We can stretch our legs.
518
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,513
[ Bottles clatter ]
519
00:19:29,547 --> 00:19:32,861
So, uh,
why can you talk?
520
00:19:32,895 --> 00:19:34,242
What is this?
521
00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:36,589
I need you in one spot
for a clean mind scan.
522
00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,763
Mind scan?
Look, you're overthinking it.
523
00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,696
The point of a talking cat
is to have fun.
524
00:19:40,731 --> 00:19:43,182
I find the insinuation that
I can't ask questions
525
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,700
andhave fun
condescending.
526
00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:47,496
Y-You find it
condescending, Jerry?Yes.
527
00:19:47,531 --> 00:19:50,327
All right. I'm from outer space.
Happy?
No.
528
00:19:50,361 --> 00:19:52,536
Exactly, because no answer
would be satisfying.
529
00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:53,847
Because it's a lie.
530
00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:56,195
Let's see the truth.
531
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,265
What in the...
532
00:19:57,299 --> 00:20:00,199
[ Explosions ]
533
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,201
Oh, son of a bitch.
534
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,788
Jerry, don't.I want to see.
535
00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:05,756
No, you do not.
536
00:20:07,896 --> 00:20:11,037
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
537
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:13,281
At least now maybe --
538
00:20:13,315 --> 00:20:14,385
Get the hell out of here!
539
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,386
But I've got
nowhere to go.
540
00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:16,732
Get out!
Get out!
541
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:17,733
Get out!
542
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:20,219
[ Crying ]
543
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:25,707
[ Crying ]
544
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:30,159
He was in my home where
I keep photos of my parents.
545
00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:31,299
Jerry, I have a device.
546
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:32,645
I-It can make us forget.
547
00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:35,648
No, I don't think we should
forget,
548
00:20:35,682 --> 00:20:37,097
not this.
549
00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:39,238
Someone
has to remember.
550
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,963
Someone will.
551
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,243
Did we crash?
552
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,278
Where's the cat?
553
00:20:45,313 --> 00:20:47,246
He, uh, ran away.
554
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,317
Did you scan his brain?Yeah.
555
00:20:49,351 --> 00:20:50,835
Did you find out
why he can talk?
556
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,734
He's from outer space.
557
00:20:52,768 --> 00:20:54,598
Outer space?
558
00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:56,324
That little --
[ Chuckles ]
559
00:20:56,358 --> 00:20:59,775
Of course, total mind fuck.
560
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:07,611
♪♪
561
00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:15,204
♪♪
562
00:21:15,239 --> 00:21:23,143
♪♪
563
00:21:23,178 --> 00:21:30,910
♪♪
564
00:21:35,397 --> 00:21:37,537
Now, that's what I call
draggin'.
565
00:21:37,572 --> 00:21:38,883
What?
It's a joke.
566
00:21:38,918 --> 00:21:41,334
You're a dragon
draggin' your stuff.
567
00:21:41,369 --> 00:21:42,818
I understand.
568
00:21:42,853 --> 00:21:44,372
So, how you doing?
569
00:21:44,406 --> 00:21:46,374
I grow weary
of you humans.
570
00:21:46,408 --> 00:21:48,721
How about 50 bucks?
You weary of 50 bucks?
571
00:21:48,755 --> 00:21:50,170
I'm trying to
cheat on my wife.
572
00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:52,380
I'm looking for a little magic,
a little fantasy.
573
00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,382
You could use some help.
Let's help each other, huh?
574
00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:55,728
50 bucks.
575
00:21:55,762 --> 00:21:58,351
[ Roars ]
576
00:21:59,870 --> 00:22:01,492
Nice.
577
00:22:01,527 --> 00:22:03,252
Is there a reason
you can speak?
578
00:22:03,287 --> 00:22:05,738
Yeah,
and I'm ashamed of it.
579
00:22:05,772 --> 00:22:08,361
Then speak of it
no more.
580
00:22:08,396 --> 00:22:11,364
Do you wish to eat,
maybe bond a little?
581
00:22:11,399 --> 00:22:13,366
Yeah, I could bond.
582
00:22:13,401 --> 00:22:15,541
How long does it take you
to fly to Florida?
583
00:22:16,956 --> 00:22:18,544
Did you get any of that?
41169
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