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1 If you wanna be with another person,

we can do it together.

NARRATOR: Previously onNow Apocalypse...

Check out that dude's arms!

Dude is swole!

Don't be afraid to get your hands a little dirty.

You've been a bad boy.

-[ smacks ] -Oh!

The whole S&M thing kinda started as an accident,

but then it tapped into something real.

-[ Carly slapping ]-Aah! Aah! Aah!

CARLY: I'm realizing that I really enjoy being a Dom.

-It's Isaac.-CARLY: Oh, is that the new guy?

Tomorrow, we're gonna be so glad that we waited.

Fuck tomorrow.

[ indistinctly singing to himself ]

FORD: Oh... shhh--

Shit!

[ closes and locks the door ]

Are you ready for your surprise?

So ready.

Come with me.

You look very handsome tonight.

Oh... You look like a...

dream.

Thanks.

But that's enough talking for now.

Close your eyes.

Uh. Uh...

OK...

Are you prepared for a night you will never forget?

Uh...

All right.

Here we are.

OK...

[ "Strangelove" by Bat for Lashes playing ]

♪ Strange highs and strange lows... ♪

JETHRO: Can't breathe.

[ woman screaming ]JETHRO: What was that?

Where are you taking me?

Would you relax?

You'll find out soon enough.

I've gotta say, Car. This is making me a little nervous.

Yeah, bro. That's the point.

[ "Strangelove" by Bat for Lashes continues playing ]

You feel like a shark.

Holy fuckin'...

-[ door slams open ]-[ heavy breathing ]

-So, what do you wanna do?-Everything.

Are you a top or a bottom or...?

Yes.

Do you have, like, a--

Do you have, like, a preference?

I wanna do everything with you.

Cool.

Tyce, this is my boyfriend, Ford.

Hey, Ford.

Darling, don't you remember Tyce from the party

the other night?

Uh...

Are you gonna linger in the doorway like a reproached child,

or are you gonna join us?

JETHRO: What is this?

Well, don't tell me you've never been in the medical room

of a BDSM dungeon before.

Um...

[ grunts ]

Now...

Are you gonna be a good little boy and behave?

Yes, mommy. I'll behave.

Good.

Now lay down.

[ chains rattling ]

It's tight, it's tight!

Oh, baby, that's the least of your worries.

You...

have made mommy...

real angry.

And, as punishment,

I'm gonna milk every last

drop of your life force.

How do you like the sound of that?

Oh, I love it.

Oh, mommy. I love it.

Mmm, mommy, I love it.

I love it?

Hey... hey.

-What? -Um, uh...

Is it OK if we use a condom?

Sure.

I'm on PrEP but whatever you want.

I just--uh, yeah, I just don't have, uh, health insurance,

so I-I can't afford it.

-PrEP, you mean?-Yeah.

Aren't you on Medicaid? You probably qualify.

PrEP is free if you're on Medicaid.

-Really?-[ Isaac laughs ]

You're fuckin' adorable.

So, Sev tells me you're a screenwriter.

Me, too.

So, how do you two know each other?

I introduced myself to Tyce at the party

after you indicated that you were sexually interested in him.

What? I--

I, I didn't--no, I didn't, dude...

Ford...

I've never told you this before,

but I've always had two great dreams in life.

The first was to become an astro-biological theorist,

which, thanks to skipping 3 grades in primary school,

I accomplished at the age of 23.

And my second goal...

Unfortunately, it has proved far more difficult to achieve.

I'm hoping, however,

that will all change tonight.

And that dream...

is to be...

spit-roasted.

Oh, bro, what are you doing to me?

You like that, don't you?

Ah, fuck, yes. I love it.

Oh, my God, you're so good at that.

It's like you were trained by Catholic priests!

Oh, my God. Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck, I'm close.

Oh, my God. I'm close, I'm close.

-I'm close! Ah! -OK.

-That's enough of that.-Oh, Carly, Carly,

-Car, Car, Car---Mm. Now don't go anywhere.

Wait. Where the fuck am I going?

Uh, what the hell is that for?

It's called...

'sensual waterboarding'.

Fuck! Aah!

[ moaning ]

[ panting ]

What's sensual about it?

The handjob.

OK, fuck no. Fuck, no.

-OK, OK, all right. Calm down. -Fuck no.

Hey, stop being such a wuss.

This is totally safe. I saw it in a porno once.

What kind of porn are you watching?

Hmm. Look,

just trust me, OK?

Apparently, the illusion of death makes your orgasm,

like, 10 times more intense.

And if you really don't like it, you can use a safe word.

[ sighs ] W-W-What, what's the safe word?

I don't know. Something random.

What is something that you would

never associate with sex?

Um...

Children?

How about we just go with 'triggered'?

Fuck, OK, OK. Just--just don't, like,

accidentally kill me or something.

[ giggles ] Don't worry.

Mommy will take good care of you.

[ Jethro grunts ]

[ muffled screams ]

[ gasps ]

Baby likes that, don't you?

[ ecstatic moaning ]

[ heavy panting ]

[ muffled screaming ]

[ gasps, grunts ]

Oh, look at that, you little pervert.

[ distressed panting ]

[ heavy moaning and groaning ]

You like that, don't you?

- Ah, fuck!- Hey! Speak up, you little masochist!

-Yes, mistress! -[ groaning ]

-Tell me you like it.-Ah, I love it!

-Say it! -Ah, fuck! I love it.

-Tell me how much you love it! -I love it!

I love it! Ah!

Don't come!

Don't come.

[ muffled screaming ]

If you come,

I will fucking kill you.

[ muffled screaming ]

-[ moaning ] -Oh, my God!

[ moaning ]

[ intense moaning and groaning ]

[ screams ]

-[ Jethro coughing ]-Ah fuck!

[ both moaning ]

Oh, my God, bro.

What is wrong with you?

-You are insane.-[ chuckles ]

I don't know.

I didn't program myself.

[ heavy panting ]

Wait. Wait, wait, Car...

What about me?

What about you?

Carly, I need to come, like,

really, really badly.

It's like a Vesuvius situation here.

What should we try next?

Uh, ooh, ooh, ooh, how about...

getting me off?

You know...

for someone who meditates so much,

you have, like, zero fucking chill.

Damn, man, you are lean.

What's your BFP?

Uh...

Well, I'm hovering around 9% right now,

but I can get down to 7 when I'm cutting.

Nice, dude.

I have never been able to get below an 8.5 myself.

Well, you look pretty frickin' diced to me, man.

-[ chuckles ] -Oh, thanks, bro.

[ Tyce laughs ]

Tyce's body is like a Rodin statue.

It's so massive and powerful.

Wouldn't you agree, Ford?

Come on.

Touch him.

It's all right if Ford touches you, right, Tyce?

Sure.

Go ahead.

Don't be afraid.

Uh...

It's cool, dude.

It doesn't have to be a big deal.

So, are--are you, like...

bi, or...?

Well, I am an aquarius.

Go on, Ford.

Touch him.

Seeing you with another man

would be extremely arousing for me.

It would?

Of course.

Gay male sex is a very common erotic fantasy

amongst women.

Really?

[ exhales ]

Oh, it's so hot, baby.

Yeah?

Yes.

Do you know what would be even hotter?

If you would kiss Tyce right now.

It would turn me on so much.

Uh...

Please, Ford.

Do it. For me.

For us.

Fuck, I'm--I can't.

I am sorry.

I--I do--I'm not a homophobe or anything.

I just, I think I'm one of those rare people who's

actually just straight.

Really, Ford?

You can't put your male insecurities aside

for even just a moment?

No, I want to. I do.

I just, I'm not sure I, I can...

Look, how about we just start off slow?

Maybe some relaxing, sensuous massage.

Hey!

Did I say you could touch yourself?

[ whispering ] Sorry.

You know, maybe I just ought to fuck you.

Oh, my God. Yes, please.

Oh, you mean with the dildo.

Well, it would--it would be my dick, just silicone.

Yeah...

I might need to work up to that one.

Oh, my God. Why can't guys just get over their hangups

and give pegging a try?

Seriously, if they knew

what it was like to get fucked,

they'd probably be better at fucking.

Hey, is it cool if we, like...

just don't tell anyone about, you know, this?

What? Your whole eat-pray-sub journey?

Yeah, is it cool if we just, like, vault it?

Please.

Why?

Well, because what we do in bed is no one else's business.

I'm serious, Carly. I don't even want you telling Ulysses about it.

Carly?

OK, I didn't tell him everything.

But he might've, uh, come with me

to Bed, Bath, and More to get the waterboarding supplies.

Should I get a 300 thread count

or splurge and get the 600?

They both seem equally brain damage-y to me.

Jesus Christ, Carly.

Can't you ever just keep your mouth shut?

The only reason that you care

is because, for some dumbass reason,

straight guys think that being a sub is emasculating.

Um, hello? Have you been out in the world lately?

Being a guy who's into weird submissive sex

is not the move these days.

Who, who gives a shit what people think?

I do!

[ scoffs ]

Carly...

Carly, where are you going?

How's that feel?

Heavenly.

Good.

Dude, you're not doing it right.

Here, let's switch, OK? I'll show you.

OK, she likes it a little harder.

Like this.

Ouch, Ford, you're hurting me.

Ow!

What is wrong with you?

It's all right, Ford.

I know you're nervous.

How about...

we take baby steps?

OK.

If you don't wanna kiss Tyce directly...

Spit in my mouth.

[ Tyce spits ]

[ grunts ]

ISAAC: Life is so fuckin' weird.

What do you mean?

Well... I don't wanna come off as a needball or anything,

but we were basically strangers a few hours ago.

And I already feel strangely comfortable around you.

-Me, too. -Like, my friends are always telling me,

"Don't rush it. Let things develop at their own pace."

-[ chuckles ] -Are you serious right now?

I'm sorry if I'm freaking you out.

-I'm just gonna shut up.No!

No, no, that's--it's just

that's exactly what my friends say to me.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

[ chuckles ]

It feels like maybe you're ready for another go-round?

Oh? Yeah.

You, too.

CARLY: So, what? You're embarrassed of what we do sexually?

No, it's just I am a television actor.

I can't risk my fans finding out the sordid details of my sex life.

Fans?

Dude, your only fans are necrophiliacs.

And they are hardly in a position to be judging you for being freaky.

What is that supposed to mean?

Look, I just feel like we've gotten a lot closer lately

through all of these experiences we've been having,

and I-I wanna be able to share that with my friends!

It's my sex life, too!

I get it. Look, but--

Isn't there anything you've ever done sexually

that you wanted to keep a secret?

No.

I'm an open book.

It's just sex. What is there to be ashamed about?

What the...?

This is officially the scariest haunted house I've ever seen.

SEVERINE: OK.

Time to get this party started.

Now what's the matter?

I'm sorry, I just--I'm...

I'm too in my head, and...

We have all night. Don't worry.

Why don't you just have some champagne and relax?

In the meantime, I'll get better acquainted with Tyce.

Uh, Sev...

Sev.

[ moans ]

[ groans ]

[ Tyce, enjoyably ] A-a-ah.

[ sighs of frustration ]

[ clears throat ]

[ sighs ] What's wrong?

Yeah, I'm sorry. Same issue.

What's going on here?

You're beautiful.

Obviously. It's just...

I sense there's seems to be some sort of...

-tension between you two.-What do you mean?

I know women think guys are just mindless fuck machines

who'll stick our dick in a hole in the ground if we have to,

but I need to be comfortable,

in order to be into it.

A penis is a very reliable emotional barometer.

-Yes! Finally, someone who gets it! -Dude.

[ speaks French, sighs ]

Well...

Now that we had a chance to talk about our feelings,

what should we do next?

Braid each other's hair?

Name our vaginas?

JETHRO: I'm serious, Carly.

I'm not doing anything more until we get this resolved.

I'm the one in charge here, not you.

I need your word.

Do you promise...

not to tell anyone about this?

-Not even Uly? -[ sighs ]

All right, fine. I won't fucking tell anyone.

You happy now?

Yes, thank you.

OK.

Now act like a baby.

How?

You're an actor.

Get into character.

Goo goo.

Really? Is that the best you can do?

Goo.

-Goo. -Oh, my God.

You're fuckin' helpless. Come here.

Is baby hungry?

[ with enthusiasm ] Mm, mm, goo.

-Goo. -[ moans ]

You're just a big baby who's desperate to come, aren't you?

[ gasps ]

Goo.

[ moaning and making sucking noises ]

OK, OK, OK, wh-what are you--what are you doing?

I said act like a baby.

Not an adult pretending to be a baby.

Goo goo?

You need to make a fucking choice

and commit to it.

Well--well, I'm trying, mommy.

Well, you're not trying hard enough.

-[ smacking ] -Bad baby!

-You're a bad, bad baby!-[ grunting ]

Carly, stop!

You know, maybe if I told you

to act like a dead baby,

you'd be more convincing,

considering playing a fucking corpse

seems to be your only employable skill.

You're a bad baby!

-A bad baby!-Triggered, bro. Triggered!

-Bad fucking baby, Jethro!-Triggered!

You're a bad baby! You're a bad boyfriend!

You're a bad fucking actor!

-Bad actor! -Triggered!

Bad actor!

-Triggered!-You're a terrible fucking actor!

Aah!

FORD: What are you talking about?

How is this my fault?

It's fine for you to fuck another woman in front of me,

but when it's the other way around, you can't handle it.

You should've told me what you had planned.

You're always pulling these surprises on me.

You like surprises.

Yeah, when I know what to expect.

Woah, wait.

She didn't tell you I was gonna be here?

Well, I-I-I knew she was inviting someone over,

but I assumed you'd be a girl.

Fuck!

I'm sorry.

I resent the cultural assumption that a threesome

is one man with two women.

It's quintessential sexism.

What do you think I am?

Just someone who procures pussy for you?

What?

Sev, this was your idea.

I never asked you to spend all your spare time

organizing orgies for us.

Our societal concept of sexuality

is entirely organized around male pleasure.

For a man, sleeping with two women

is an accomplishment.

Women are mere sexual props, in service to the male ego.

What am I, then?

What do you mean?

Am--Am I just your sexual prop for the evening?

Yes, in a way.

Wow.

We've done this before with a woman,

and there were no objections because women

are accustomed to being sexualized.

So, yes, I believe that men

should experience what it's like to be objectified as well.

TYCE: Are you seriously saying that?

To a black guy?

That's hashtag problematic, don't you think?

JETHRO: Now where are you going?

CARLY: Home.

I'm tired.

I still haven't come yet.

Guess that's your problem, isn't it?

Why are you acting all pissed?

I'm the one who should be mad.

You just criticized my craft!

-[ scoffs ] -Whatever, Jethro.

I'm going to the car.

Well, hold on. Still have to get changed.

I'll wait outside.

FORD: Uh, hey. Wait up.

Um...

I'm just really sorry about this, man.

We're not usually this crazy...

-I don't think...-It's all right. No hard feelings.

I just hope you two get this sorted out.

Thanks.

Oh, and I gotta say,

it felt awkward bringing it up earlier,

but, um, I'm a big fan.

Of your underwear ads.

I've been seeing them everywhere.

I mean, me and my boyfriend, we love 'em!

Oh...

-Cool.-[ both chuckle ]

Congrats!

Thanks, man!

See ya.

[ Jethro moaning ]

[ moaning continues ]

Aah!

Hi.

Hey.

Oh...

Oh...

I so don't wanna go to work this morning.

How'd you sleep?

Like a baby. Just not long enough. How about you?

Uh, yeah, it was on and off.

I was, uh, sort of...

too excited to sleep.

You're cute.

OK, hold on.

I'm gonna brush my teeth.

-Oh, my God, why?-[ grunting ]

Wait, what?

Yeah, I have this--this weird thing about morning breath.

Like, I don't kiss anybody unless I brush my teeth.

Really?

Yeah, it's neurotic, right?

You're coming, too?

Uh, yeah, I gotta pee.

Naked?

Yeah, is that OK?

Sure.

[ groaning ]

Do you, uh--do you need a toothbrush or...?

Yeah, I was just gonna use my finger, but...

No...

Here.

Thanks.

And--And you can keep it here, so, so you'll always have one.

Really?

Yeah.

[ chuckles ]

Sev?

Yes?

[ sighs ]

Are you mad at me?

I'm disappointed and rather frustrated.

But I'm not mad.

You know, just because last night didn't go so well

doesn't mean I don't want us to keep trying the non-monogamy thing.

I'm glad to hear that.

Thank you.

ISAAC: Oh, my God. There's nothing

I want more than to spend the whole day in bed with you,

and you're not making it any easier.

Do you always work on Saturdays?

No, thank God. It's just been really busy.

It's weird. There's been this, like, sudden epidemic

of homeless clients exhibiting signs of delusional schizophrenia.

Really?

It's really putting a strain on our already

very limited resources.

But--OK, I'll call you later.

Cool.

Is it too soon if we hang out again tonight?

Nope.

Looks like your dick likes that idea.

Oh, yeah, it does.

OK, OK, I have to fucking go.

Yeah, I'll walk you out.

No, please don't.

What do you mean?

You--You know what I mean.

-[ snaps ] -Foiled again.

I'll see you in...

nine and a half hours.

Cool.

-Don't look at me like that. -[ laughs ]

OK.

-[ laughing ] -OK, goodbye.

[ both chuckle ]

[ door closes ]

[ exhales ]

[ chuckles ]

[ soft rock music ]