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1
00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:28,633
Talk about a Death Wish..
2
00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,100
You got to be nuts to do that.
3
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:34,800
Need pads.
4
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,233
No wrist guards--
5
00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:36,967
Nothing.
6
00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:38,367
You are one serious weenie.
7
00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:40,800
- I am not.
- They're having fun.
8
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,233
They're risking their lives.
Let's get out of here.
9
00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:46,267
Anyone for a little fun
in the sun?
10
00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:47,767
I was think Mexico.
11
00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:49,200
I can't.
12
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,700
Killer bees in Mexico.
13
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,200
All right, no Mexico.
14
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,200
- How about Jamaica?
- Poisonous jellyfish.
15
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,667
Wussie. Wussie. Wussie.
16
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:04,167
Gary, talk him into it.
17
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:08,600
Only if you guarantee a jamaican
beach bunny will have sex with me.
18
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,033
My powers aren't inifinite, Gary.
19
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,800
What's eating you, anyway?
20
00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:16,567
Edwin Mueller got some.
21
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:20,833
Edwin? The kid who
smells beef jerky?
22
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:23,133
That's what that smell is.
23
00:02:23,133 --> 00:02:25,633
GARY: Sitting with that stupid
grin just 'cause he did
24
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,633
the horizontal frog dance.
25
00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:29,133
No way.
26
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:31,133
He sunk the cue ball.
27
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:33,133
He downloaded his hard drive.
28
00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:35,600
Edwin Mueller beat us
to the chewy center?
29
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:39,100
- Yup.
- How humiliating.
30
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,533
It's pathetic. I'm pathetic.
31
00:02:41,533 --> 00:02:43,533
I'm 15 and I still haven't done it.
32
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:46,033
It's not so bad.
The average age for a
33
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:49,333
male's first sexual encounter
is 19 and a alf.
34
00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:52,733
I looked it up. I was curious.
35
00:02:52,733 --> 00:02:56,167
I don't want to be average.
I want to excel.
36
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,633
I want sex, and I want it now.
37
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,800
Aw, what's the use?
38
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,300
The way things are going now
39
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,300
I'm never going to bury the bone.
40
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,800
What a couple of lumps.
41
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,300
We could party, but no.
42
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,467
You never want to do anything fun.
43
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,900
You're worried it will kill you
and you're too worried
44
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,900
about your virginity
to do anything fun.
45
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,767
You know, you could
solve my problem.
46
00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:26,267
Hold out your hands.
47
00:03:31,867 --> 00:03:32,867
BOTH: Ow!
48
00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:35,867
I keep forgetting
they come out hot.
49
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:40,500
- What do we need watches for?
- They're not just watches--
50
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:44,967
They're magic. Wyatt, yours
shows you how long you have to live.
51
00:03:45,467 --> 00:03:50,733
- What does it say?
- 90 years.
52
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,733
So next time I suggest
something fun--
53
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:58,533
like going to Mexico--
chill out about the killer bees.
54
00:03:58,533 --> 00:04:00,033
What does this one do?
55
00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:02,033
It tells when you'll
lose your virginity.
56
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:05,467
- What does it say?
- Three days.
57
00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:07,467
Three days! Three days?
58
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,267
See?
You've been worrying for nothing.
59
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:13,233
Three days. Did you hear that?
60
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:14,667
I'm finally going to Free Willy!
61
00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:22,433
Air conditioner gust.
62
00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:25,433
Alter trajectory.
63
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,967
Eight degrees.
64
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,400
Insufficient spittle on suction cup.
65
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,900
Proceeding to lick.
66
00:04:41,433 --> 00:04:43,433
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the
Oliver North Civic Arena
67
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:47,433
for the 14th Annual Monster
Truck Turbo Slaughter Jam--
68
00:04:47,433 --> 00:04:50,400
featuring over 60
bone-crushing tons of
69
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,400
super-charged monster
four-by-fours
70
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,900
and 20,000 gallons
of mud, mud, mud...
71
00:04:55,900 --> 00:05:00,133
HOTCHA: Tonight, Bob Rolsky's
ultra eliminator squares off
72
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:04,100
against Lenny Lamonte's
mud-sucking raptor tractor
73
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:07,100
armed with 3,000
fire-breathing pounds
74
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:10,100
of nitrous methane
plowing power.
75
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,100
Nitrous... methane.
76
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:20,600
Come on, baby.
77
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,433
The Gary love shuttle leaves in
"T" minus 48 hours and counting.
78
00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:29,100
Heavens awaits, my sex goddess.
79
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:32,667
Just show me your pretty
face and we can rocket to Nastyville.
80
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,167
Hi. I'm Gary.
What do you think?
81
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,667
( Laughing )
82
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:42,167
Her loss.
83
00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:45,600
- Hey, Wy.
- Hey.
84
00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:49,433
- Why are you so bummed?
- Thanks to this watch
85
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:52,833
I now know down to
the second when I'll croak.
86
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:55,833
When you're wearing
the Grim Reaper on your wrist.
87
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,733
Nice band, though.
88
00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,100
Oh, miss, a word please?
89
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,600
- Get lost.
- No problem.
90
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,567
I know my lady love
is out there somewhere.
91
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,033
I know what you're thinking--
92
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:12,000
"I'd sure like to have sex
with him within 42 hours."
93
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:32,567
So where the hell is she?
94
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:35,033
I've asked out
every girl in the school.
95
00:06:35,033 --> 00:06:37,533
WYATT:
Maybe lady love transferred.
96
00:06:37,533 --> 00:06:42,033
47 "No's."
16 of them laughed at me.
97
00:06:42,533 --> 00:06:45,800
- Four of them spit in my face.
- Whatever happened to manners?
98
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,200
Laugh, laugh.
99
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,667
Spit, laugh. Spit, spit.
100
00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:56,133
Slap. That's everyone.
101
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,367
What about the lunch ladies?
102
00:06:59,867 --> 00:07:00,867
Came up dry.
103
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:05,167
And this one, Gary.
104
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,300
- That's a girl?
- Yeah.
105
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:15,400
- "Louise Willet."
- You know, sex is a big step.
106
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,800
Maybe I'm not ready.
107
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:22,267
Yeah. I better wait. Here.
You can have your watch back.
108
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,267
Mine too. I don't mean to hurt
your feelings or anything
109
00:07:25,267 --> 00:07:28,267
but wearing a constant
reminder of the day you die
110
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,767
just isn't a whole lot of fun.
111
00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:34,767
Wyatt, you just
don't get it, do you?
112
00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:37,700
- Get what?
- I'll show you.
113
00:07:44,233 --> 00:07:45,600
( Groaning )
114
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:53,100
( Screaming )
115
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,267
( Whimpering )
116
00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:00,933
What are you doing?
Get me down!
117
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:03,367
- Look at your watch.
- Okay, okay.
118
00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:06,867
I love the watch.
I'm sorry I said to take it back.
119
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,500
Beam me out of here!
120
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,500
You're not looking.
121
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,500
Uh...
122
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,567
90 years. Terrific.
123
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:17,567
I'm going to live forever.
124
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:20,667
Exactly. The watch says
you won't die today.
125
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,133
You have 90 more years.
126
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:25,033
So get up and walk to me
'cause that's the only way
127
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,433
you're getting off that plank.
128
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:42,500
Come on, you can do it.
Life's no fun if you don't take risks.
129
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,367
Come on. Come on.
130
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,800
- Yes. Yes!
- I did it! I did it!
131
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,533
I've got nothing to worry about.
I'm going to live for 90 years!
132
00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:57,400
Yes.
133
00:08:58,733 --> 00:09:01,233
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
134
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:04,800
Whoo! Ha-ha!
135
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:12,500
I am invincible! I'm a risk-taker!
136
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,600
Oh, what a lucky guy I am.
137
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:30,033
Gary, hi.
138
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:34,467
- You know me?
- Yeah.
139
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,467
I sit right behind you
in homeroom but
140
00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:39,833
we've never actually talked...
141
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:42,267
- Right.
- Listen...
142
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:45,667
Uh... Lousie.
143
00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:48,133
Lousie.
144
00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:50,567
Lousie!
145
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,933
I have to ask you a question.
146
00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,867
Do you have any plans
tomorrow night around...
147
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,367
5:00?
148
00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:05,367
Oh, darn it.
149
00:10:05,867 --> 00:10:08,300
I have to go to New
Mexico for a funeral.
150
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,267
- My grandmother died.
- Yes!
151
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:14,000
I mean... I'm so sorry for you.
152
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,433
But you'll love New Mexico
and so will your grandmother.
153
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,933
I'll be back on tuesday.
154
00:10:22,367 --> 00:10:24,867
CHETT: # I don't know
but I've been told #
155
00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:28,367
# This loaf of bread
seems mighty old
156
00:10:28,367 --> 00:10:31,867
# Baloney, mustard,
slice of cheese #
157
00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:34,367
# A Chett-wich always
aims to please... #
158
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:38,867
- ( Phone Ringing )
- ( Whistling )
159
00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:42,067
- ( Humming )
- ( Phone Ringing )
160
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:48,567
Listen. I need to get my mitts
on 25-gallon tank
161
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,567
of pressurized nitrous methane.
162
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,567
What's that?
163
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:57,067
Licensed demolitions contractor?
164
00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:03,000
County-approved to handle
flammable materials?
165
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000
Yes! Yes, I am.
166
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,333
My... license number?
167
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:18,233
1120900220.
168
00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:21,533
220.
169
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:23,967
That's right.
170
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:26,967
I'll be there in the morning
to pick it up.
171
00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:27,967
Thank you.
172
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:31,467
( Chuckling ) Suckers.
173
00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:38,967
Lisa, that was amazing!
I want to go hang gliding.
174
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:40,867
No! I want to go
speedboat racing.
175
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,667
Right now. Whoa.
Slow down, tiger.
176
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:45,167
GARY: Wyatt!
177
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:50,433
- I am so happy!
- Why are you so happy?
178
00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:53,867
I'm not afraid!
Did you have sex with Louise?
179
00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:58,200
No. She's going away but
I finally know who it will be.
180
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,200
- Who?
- Melissa Sinclair.
181
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,967
- Melissa Sinclair?
- She missed the yearbook photo session.
182
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:06,467
- She missed it?
- She missed the photo session!
183
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:08,900
( Both Howling )
184
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,967
I'm so excited!
185
00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:12,967
I told you the watches
were a good idea.
186
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:15,400
They're a great idea.
I am so pumped.
187
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,600
- I got to do something crazy.
- Good luck.
188
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,100
No luck required.
189
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,600
( Bell Ringing )
190
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,600
Melissa Sinclair?
191
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,100
- Yeah.
- Gary... Gary Wallace.
192
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,100
Remember it, 'cause tomorrow
afternoon you'll be
193
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,100
screaming it repeatedly in
the throes of passion.
194
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,600
- Oh, really?
- Guaranteed. You a virgin?
195
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,600
- What?
- It's okay if you are.
196
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:01,600
- I am.
- I really don't need to know this.
197
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,600
I'm not a virgin by choice.
198
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,600
It's just that every girl I've
met thought I was a freaky dweeb.
199
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,600
So let's knock it out at my place.
200
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,100
Don't wear anything
too complicated.
201
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,100
And the body oil's on me.
202
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,100
Get it?
203
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,100
( Groans )
204
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,600
It's settled then. No oils.
205
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,600
Damn.
206
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,267
WYATT: Whoo whoo-hoo!
207
00:13:26,267 --> 00:13:29,767
- Yeah, Wyatt!
- Whoo-hoo!
208
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:33,767
Did you see that, Lisa?
I didn't hurl!
209
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:36,833
That's my Wyatt. How about
a little alligator wrestling?
210
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:37,767
Whoo-hoo!
211
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,600
Hey.
212
00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:44,800
What are you doing here?
It's almost 5:00.
213
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,733
Shouldn't you be having sex now?
214
00:13:46,733 --> 00:13:50,033
- I wish.
- What about the sure thing?
215
00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:52,000
Let's just say
it didn't work out.
216
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:56,133
Huh? You're destined to
be with somebody else.
217
00:13:56,133 --> 00:14:00,667
There is nobody else.
I cruised the malls all morning.
218
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,133
- Nothing.
- But the watch...
219
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:06,067
Screw the watch.
It says I got ten minutes.
220
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:10,933
And my best hope is in New Mexico
burying her grandmother.
221
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,433
It must be broken.
222
00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:14,500
Whoops.
223
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,333
I almost put on your watch.
224
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,333
No way. I'm wearing mine.
225
00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:22,333
No. I got yours right here, see?
Lisa inscribed it.
226
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,333
"To Gary, with love, Lisa."
227
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:29,533
"To Wyatt, with love, Lisa."
How did you get my watch.
228
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,033
- Uh-oh.
- What?
229
00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:34,033
You must have accidentally
put on each other's watches.
230
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:38,867
So I won't have
sex in ten minutes?
231
00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,800
- Uh-oh.
- "Uh-oh"?
232
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:43,300
What does that mean, "Uh-oh"?
233
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:48,700
I'm going to be a virgin
for 90 years?
234
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:54,433
Then if this is my watch
does that mean...
235
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:55,933
Say something!
236
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,667
You're going to be dead
in ten minutes.
237
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:02,367
( Screeching ): Uh-oh.
238
00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:14,833
90 years... I'm not going
to get any for 90 long years.
239
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:18,633
Why me, God? Why me?
240
00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:21,100
Do you mind?
I'm the one dying here.
241
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,933
At least you don't have to wait
until 105 to do the deed.
242
00:15:23,933 --> 00:15:26,933
I'll never do the deed.
According to my watch,
243
00:15:26,933 --> 00:15:29,267
I'll be dead in... seven minutes!
244
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:32,100
- I got to stop this watch!
- Wyatt, that was a gift.
245
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,967
Besides, breaking the watch
won't help.
246
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:39,000
I don't mean to complain
but I'm six minutes from dying,
247
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,633
- and you haven't done Jack!
- I think I've figured a way out.
248
00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:45,467
- Come on. What is it?
- You're not powerless.
249
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:47,467
You still control your own destiny.
250
00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:50,367
The way I see it,
all you'd have to do is...
251
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,833
( Static Sound )
252
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:56,333
- What? Do what?
- Lisa!
253
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,833
GARY: What happended
to the lights?
254
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:04,800
Oh, no! The computer!
255
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:05,800
It crashed!
256
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,000
- There's no power!
- What about batteries?
257
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,300
- I don't have any.
- Go to manuel override.
258
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,300
It's a computer, not a submarine!
259
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,200
Four minutes.
260
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,500
Follow me.
261
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Gary, why are we hiding
in the shower?
262
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,467
It's the safest place
in the house.
263
00:16:29,967 --> 00:16:31,967
Who ever got killed in the shower?
264
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,800
I'm scared.
265
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,300
Think happy thoughts
or something.
266
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,300
Happy thoughts?
267
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,300
Yeah. Like the first time we met.
268
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,800
- Remember?
- No.
269
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,800
Your eighth birthday party.
Your mom set up the slip-n-slide.
270
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,300
We had ice cream cake then
camped outside
271
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,800
and played flashlight tag.
272
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,300
Gary, we didn't meet
till I was ten.
273
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:05,000
Oh. You missed a great party.
274
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,967
I wonder who that guy was.
275
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:26,667
- You don't have to stay, Gary.
- No. I want to.
276
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,167
- You've been a good friend.
- Shut up.
277
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,667
You're not going anywhere.
278
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:34,167
Maybe Lisa couldn't
help you but I can.
279
00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:36,133
Yeah? You think so?
280
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:38,933
( Cat Shrieking )
281
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:42,233
Who am I kidding?
You're a dead man.
282
00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,733
It's not supposed to
happen for another.
283
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:47,467
- Three minutes.
- It's going to take
284
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,467
three wholes minutes
for you to die?
285
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:50,800
( Footsteps )
286
00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:11,133
Well, now... rub-a-dub-dub.
287
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,967
Here's a picture guaranteed
to make Dad glow with pride.
288
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:17,033
Say adios to your shower buddy.
289
00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:20,033
I blew the fure box
juicing up my diehard.
290
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:24,033
I'm going to need help getting
my jeep running before dinner.
291
00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:27,300
I'm rigging this baby with nitro.
292
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:30,533
Zero to 60 in three seconds.
293
00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:32,033
Two minutes...
294
00:18:32,033 --> 00:18:34,533
Just keep your brain
planted in that seat.
295
00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:37,100
Turn the ignition when I tell you.
296
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:43,467
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
297
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:47,467
Damn. Push in
the cigarette lighter
298
00:18:47,467 --> 00:18:50,467
and don't get your greasy
fingers on the dash.
299
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,700
Oh, my God.
This how it happens.
300
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:05,200
I'm going to blow up!
301
00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:09,067
Hey! Where do you
think you're going?
302
00:19:09,533 --> 00:19:12,500
- Chett, I'm about to die.
- That's right, cudboy.
303
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,967
- Get in that jeep, or I'll kill you.
- It's the jeep! It's going to blow!
304
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:21,500
That jeep's not going anywhere
and neither are you.
305
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,500
You don't understand.
Okay, look.
306
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,267
I'll level with you.
I've got this watch--
307
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,167
This magic watch-- that tells me
when I'm going to die.
308
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:33,000
It says I only have
one minute to live.
309
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,633
How stupid do I look to you?
310
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:36,133
Don't answer that, Wallace.
311
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:39,033
He's telling the truth.
I got a magic watch too.
312
00:19:39,033 --> 00:19:41,900
Only mine says
I won't get sex for 90 years.
313
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,833
Now that I believe.
Get back in the jeep, now.
314
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:48,433
- You're running out of time.
- ( Hissing )
315
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:55,900
All right, Chett. Let's go.
You and me, over there.
316
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,900
- Why there?
- Because the ground's a lot harder
317
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,300
there and it will hurt more
when I knock you
318
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,233
- on your big, ugly butt.
- Oh, the schoolgirl roars.
319
00:20:05,733 --> 00:20:08,533
Come on.
Let's get this over with.
320
00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,933
Kick your butt here,
kick your butt there.
321
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:16,333
Either way, it's a boot-butt banquet.
322
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:19,833
Say good-bye to daylight.
323
00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:31,833
My jeep.
324
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,300
My beautiful jeep.
325
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,033
Wyatt-- you're still alive.
326
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:43,533
- What does the watch say?
- It's changed.
327
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,933
It says 86 years.
I'm going to live!
328
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:47,833
- You're going to live!
- I'm going to live!
329
00:20:47,833 --> 00:20:49,667
- You're going to live!
- I'm going to live!
330
00:21:00,367 --> 00:21:02,467
Okay, we have power.
331
00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:04,933
She'll be back on-line in J.
332
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,233
( Whimpering )
333
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,200
Now, that is a man in pain.
334
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,400
Here she comes.
335
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,400
What happened? Wyatt, how much
time do you have left?
336
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,900
It's okay, Lisa.
My check-out time came and went.
337
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,400
- I made it.
- How?
338
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:25,400
I stood up to Chett,
and I saved my own life.
339
00:21:25,967 --> 00:21:27,933
Oh, I'm so glad you're still alive.
340
00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:32,933
What about me? I'm still a virgin.
341
00:21:32,933 --> 00:21:35,700
Take a cue from Wyatt.
The watch showed him
342
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:37,700
his fate and he refused to accept it.
343
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:40,400
He took action
and changed his destiny.
344
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,367
- That's all you have to do.
- Really?
345
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:46,767
Well, that and... don't miss
this flight to New Mexico.
346
00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:54,033
Weasy... Weasy... Weasy.
347
00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,200
Captioned by Grantman Brown
25259
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