Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
Eߣ�B��B��B�B�B��matroskaB��B��S�g �mM�t�M��S��I�fS��M��S��T�kS���M��S��S�kS����M��S��T�gS�����O� I�f�*ױ�B@M��libebml v1.3.9 + libmatroska v1.5.2WA�mkvmerge v41.0.0 ('Smarra') 64-bitD��A6In Da�J�#
. s��(�r�뗙�K(�ȪT�k���ׁsň\��w)����� �� ��S_TEXT/UTF8�D% C�u@��4����� Joe: First one of season 8.��Š����� [ Giggling ]����ȡ� Narrator: Coming up, what's got
Joe jamming in traffic?���C�u@��3:����� You know...��������� Will Sal unleash the beast?���ġ��� Let the bad boy out that's in
that bad-boy body of yours.��jC�u@��Tv�¡�� And which losing jokers
will get trucked up�� ������ � in tonight's
double punishment?��)������ [ Laughter ]�� �C�u@��nʠ���� Sal:
Prepare for something amazing.������� Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?��*�����@ [ Laughter ]���C�u@�炃������ Murr: Like a boss.��l�����n [ Laughter ]��?�����
� Sal:
I will never forgive you!��
�C�u�炜����� Joe: Larry!����� [ Laughter ]����� Get rowdy rowdy, nowty nowty.��
�C�u@�炳z����� Today we're on the streets
of New York City������� driving cabs
for Brooklyn Radio Dispatcher.�� 栩���� While driving,
we've got to do��wC�u@���𠯡�� and say what
the other guys tell us.����ʡā� And as always, if you refuse
to do or say anything, you lose.���C�u���g�ȡ It's cold now,
so we're gonna go.��C�u@���B�ˡŁ Sal: Well, you guys might be
noticing something��
�ˡŁ
a little different
about your friend Joseph Gatto.��������� Yeah, see, he's got
the slick new do.���C�u@��㠥��� It's a new do, y'all.��m�ǡ��o For years I have just quietly
to myself��U�̡Ɓ� wondered where you were gonna go
with your next haircut.�� �C�u@��)��¡�� What's next.
And you've done it.����ˡŁ� You've pushed it to the side,
and it's becoming.�� Šơ��a You look like
a mature dad.���C�u@��>������ I am a mature dad.��������� You're a dad.�� ������a Hello, Redina.
Hi. How are you?���C�u@��R������ Hi. Good. How are you?��m�����o Joe, get tangled
in that seatbelt, buddy.���ġ��� So,
I'll just lock 'er up.���C�u��j������ Nope, sorry.��������� [ Laughter ]��C�u@���ԡ Okay, one minute -- one second.
Hey.
Got it.��������� ♪���C�u���E����� [Bleep]��
)�����
+ Are you okay?
Got it.��栚��� You got it.��UC�u@��������� You were thinking...��K�����M Joe, we put a harmonica
in the car.���ɡÁW Just start playing the harmonica
while she's on the phone.���C�u@���֠���� So you'd rather do the --
you'd rather do the 150 one?��堲���� Yeah,
that's what I was saying.��x�����a It's more like, kind of like
a mellow, upstairs...��C�u@���K����� I can talk to him.������ But downstairs, it's like --
you need, like, a ladder...��U������ Sal: Start getting more
obnoxious with it.��lC�u@�������� ...you know?
Versus upstairs you can have,��
�����
like, 50 people
and it'll feel like...��������� How is she not
acknowledging him?��
�C�u�� Ѡ���� [ Laughter ]���C�u@��4������ Joe,
drop some bad news on her.��U�ǡ��K My cousin
has an ovarian cyst.��UC�u��MC����� Oh, I'm sorry.��������� Joe start doing it
really soft.�� `C�u��b������ [ Harmonica playing softly ]��
������
� Yeah,
that's how you breathe.��3C�u���8����� You look so sad.��)C�u@�������� "Am I crazy, or are
we moving right now?"����ˡŁ� Am I crazy, or are we
moving right now?��@������ What?���C�u@���h����� ♪������� Oh, wait, so this
isn't your car?��
����� I'm the driver, yeah.���C�u@���7����� Oh, but the license says
it's someone else.��4�����6 Oh, that -- no, that's me.
This is you?��)�����a Yeah, Al Pollard.���C�u@��銠ɡÁ I took that picture
in the summer.��������� [ Laughter ]��k�̡Ɓ Joe: Murr, you may realize
that there's a speed bag�� ?C�u@�� ޠȡ hanging from
your rear-view mirror.��������� I noticed the speed bag.���ʡā
� That's so you can get
your punches in.�� `C�uA,������ Matt?
Yeah.���ǡ��� Hey, man.
James. How are you?��砝���� Good. How are you?��K����� "So you're from New Hampshire,
right?"����ǡ��� You're from, uh,
New Hampshire?��5C�u��*������ No, I'm actually --
I'm from Canada.��������� Punch the bag.��������a [ Laughter ]��
�C�u@��E �¡�� Hey, Murr, pull over
and run into that store.����ɡÁ� Would you mind if I run in
for one second��l�ɡÁ to grab my thing
from right there?�� C�uA�Y����� Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Thank you, bud.��۠����� I'll be right there.
Yeah, no worries.��Šá��� Joe: We put a lot of stuff
in this store front.��a����� Just grab all of it
and start putting it���C�u@��r"����� in the back seat
with this guy.��
)�����
+ Okay.��������� Do you mind?��wC�u@���V����� I'm sorry, bud.
Yeah, no, no problem.������� [ Laughter ]��l������ Murr: Do you mind? I'm just --
toss it right over you.��wC�u@���Q����� Yeah.
Just toss everything.��K�����M Thank you so much,
buddy.�������l Just get it, right?
Thank you so much.���C�u���M����� I'm going camping.��������� Two sleeping bags,��l����� and just the bowling balls
just right there.���C�u���S����� [ Laughter ]������� Where are you guys
going camping?���C�u@����ǡ�� We're heading -- uh...
"Brooklyn. Brooklyn."����� B-Brooklyn.��l�ǡ��a We're heading near...
Brooklyn.��
C�u@�����ơ�� "One of my favorite animals
are up there in Canada."����̡Ɓ� One of my favorite animals
is up in Canada, actually.�� Š����� "The big antlers,
and, uh..."��?C�uA=���ˡŁ The big antlers --
what are they called?����� The, um...�� ������ Uh, moose?
"Goose, goose."��V�ȡW Goose, goose.
"Yeah, Canadian goose."��Рȡ) Canadian geese.
Canadian geese.���C�u@��=������ Joe:
"No, moose, moose."��?�����A No, wait, moose!��V������ Moose, yeah.
Yeah, moose.��x����� [ Laughter ]���C�u@��`Ƞ���� Q: Offer him some.��a�����c You want some?
No, I'm good, thanks.��*�����
� "Is it
'cause of my lips?"���C�u@��H�ơ�� Is it --
Is it 'cause of my lips?��m�š��o My lips --
it's my lips...���� c No, it's not that.��
�ʡāl Murr, there's our our friend
on the street there, Adam Shuty.���C�u@���o����� Doesn't he
owe you money?��W�ȡY Get out, punch him in the face,
and get back in the car.��
�¡��a Give me one sec,
bud.���C�u@���Π���� This guy owes me money.��W�ɡÁY Just keep an --
keep an eye on me.������� c One sec.�� Ġ����) Hey.��VC�u���O����� Sal: Oh, my God!��栤���� Q: He clocked Shuty!��m�����W Sal: No, no.��wC�u���>����� [ Laughter ]�� 栣��� � Q: Look at Shuty!��C�uA �E����� "Hey,
let me ask you something."����ȡ� Hey, let me ask you a --
a question.��۠����x Yeah.
"If you went camping..."��W�š��� If you went camping,
right?���C�u@�� ����� "...and when
you woke up..."��*�����, ...and when you woke up...����ǡ��
� "...your camping buddy was
in the same sleeping bag..."���C�u@��1S�̡Ɓ ...your camping buddy was in
the same sleeping bag as you...��
k�����
m "...and he was kind of
stroking your head���ȡa and kissing your ear..."
...and was, like,��xC�uA�F.�ˡŁ stroking your hair
and kissing you, right...��������� "...would you
tell anybody?"���š��x ...would you
tell anybody?��@������ I don't know.
Yeah, probably not.�� C�u@��a����� "Hey,
you want to go camping?"��a�����c [ Laughter ]�� ������ That's it? No?���C�u��v������ [ Buzzer ]��`�����b Man: Here you go, buddy.�������� Hey, how you doing, bud?��xC�u@��������� Hey, dude.
What's going on?��������� Murr: Q, in the front seat,
we, uh --��V����� � we put
a little prop for you.���ġ�� Can you, uh, put it
on your right wrist, please?��
�C�u@���<�ơ�� Uh, what, did you go see
a movie?��������� I live in Manhattan.
Oh.��������� I moved there in '86.��C�uA������� I mean, I'm 50, okay?��5�����7 It's like --
You're 50?��*����� c I'll be 50 tomorrow.��)�����
� Fist bump him.
Fist bump him.��V�ԡ� Nice.
Happy birthday, bro!
Thank you.���C�u@��������� "Do you mind if I rock out
to Smash Mouth?"����̡Ɓ� Do you want to, uh,
rock out to some Smash Mouth?���C�u���P����� Smash Mouth? The band?
Seriously?��
Ϡ����
� [ Laughter ]��
kC�u@�� ������ All right.��V�ġ��X "So, I've been having this
reoccurring nightmare��������W about Pat Sajak..."��
JC�u@��"1����� Murr:
From "Wheel of Fortune"?��������� I've been, uh...���̡Ɓ� I've been having this
reoccurring nightmare about,���C�u��6ɠ���� uh, Pat Sajak...���C�u@��J۠���� In -- In what --
In what sense?��V�ǡ��X Well, I'm there on the show,
I do well,��
(�ơ��� and then
he starts stalking me.�� �C�u@��gE�š�� Like,
I go to the movies,����̡Ɓ� Pat Sajak is two rows in front
of me laughing like a maniac.���C�u@��z�ǡ�� "And he keeps telling me,
'Solve the puzzle, bitch.'"��Р̡Ɓ� And he keeps looking me
in the eyes and whispering to me�� ��ȡV and saying,
"Solve the puzzle, bitch."��`C�u@��������� [ Laughter ]���ȡ� So now I only watch
"Jeopardy!"�� ������w Murr:
"Head's up, by the way.��mC�u@�����¡�� There's a --
a spider nest in the back seat."����ʡā� You're not one of those
silly guys that,��4C�u@���ĠˡŁ like, are terrified
of spiders, right?��砖���� No.���̡Ɓ� There was, like, a -- they found
a nest in the back seat,���C�u@���Q����� a spider's nest.��m�����o It's a spider.
Step on it.��@��
� Then you'd have to hear
from all the spiders.���ơ��� You know, 'cause you can
communicate with them, so...���C�u����� Then I'd have to hear it.��C�u@�������� From all the spiders.��v�ǡ��x Which I can
communicate with.����l [ Laughter ]�� C�u@��0��ɡÁ All right, man,
thank you so much.��Ѡ����� Cool, thanks.
It was nice working with you.��������
� Murr: Well done, Q.
[ Ding! ]��������K Sal, do me a favor.��C�u��K�ơ�� Hit that red button that's
in the middle right there.��
������� [ Laughter ]��
�C�u@��s`����� [ Coughs ]��a�����c Yeah.
Dude, it looks like�� a������ you're running around
with Method Man right now.���C�u@��������� Yeah.��������� You're about to pick up,
uh, your customer.��栦���x Oh, my God.���ġ��� I don't know
what to do.���C�u@���頪��� Brooklyn Car Service?�� Ġ���� � Sal: Yes, yes.��Šǡ��� Why's this car smoking
like this?��lC�u@����ǡ�� S-Sorry, I was just on break.
I'm sorry.��
�����
Did you ever eat here?��*�ʡā5 My favorite pizza
in the whole city.��lC�u@��̇�ġ�� Oh, I just went yesterday.
Oh, did you?��K�����M Did she just kick the seat,
bud?��۠����
* Oh, have you had a long day
so far?���C�uA��5����� You just got on
your shift?��L�ȡN No, I'm pretty long
into it now.����ȡ
� It's been --
It's been laid back, but --��l�ɡÁ@ oh, can you just
not kick the seat?���C�u@���G����� Thank you.
Oh, yeah, so sorry.��@�����B No problem.���ǡ��
* "I can tell two things
by looking at you right away --���C�u@������� that you enjoy coffee..."��m�ˡŁo I can tell two things
by looking at you.����̡Ɓ
+ I could -- I could've figured
you for a coffee drinker.��栯��� Really?
Yeah.��mC�uA^� ������ "...and also,
you [bleep] with avocado."��������� I drink a lot of tea.
I know --������� Oh, but number two,
though.
Oh, okay, what was
your number two?��ܠ�ځw You [bleep] with avocado,
though, right?
Oh, you know I do.��wC�u@��7������ [ Laughter ]��������� Murr: He got it!���š��� But, uh, you know,
you might need to check the map��
�C�uA�M������ that we put
on the front seat, there.��������� I'm like, "I'm not gonna
leave the house..."��ܠơ��� Right, right,
right, right.������l Bud,
check the directions.��LC�u@��b������ Maybe you, like,
felt like your food...��栱���� Birds swallow rocks
'cause they...������� Right.
Yeah, yeah.��C�u��y}����� Uh, and now it's upside-down,
buddy.��
������
� You said Bedford?
Yeah.��
lC�u@���y�̡Ɓ I just want to make sure I --
I use the quickest way there.��^�����` I haven't been in a car
like this in such a long time.���C�u@�����ơ�� I know.
They're old school, right?����š��� "It's nice, and it's so crazy
that you just insist��������A on keep kicking the seat."������ Like on special occasions,
like -- or like a --��C�u@���ݠ���� it's fancier than a --
Um, cool, just --��ڠ̡Ɓ� if you don't mind, just don't
kick the seat, please.��V�����4 Thank you so much.��C�uA/��'����� Oh, yeah, I'm so--
Does it seem like I'm kicking?��V�֡ЁX 'Cause I haven't been
kicking anything.
Oh, okay.��Šá�� "Then it must be your friend
that you're with."��?�̡Ɓ` Well, if you could ask her
not to do it, it's fine,��4C�uA����ʡā 'cause she's the one
right behind me.��������� Who's right behind you?���ơ��� Could you ask her
not to --����ȡ� Oh, my God,
I thought two people got in!��C�u@�� v�ǡ�� I thought there was someone
behind me!����š��� Wait, so you've been talking
to me this whole time?���C�u@�� +������ Yeah,
it's just been me.���̡Ɓ There's a walkie-talkie on your
seat there to talk to dispatch.��������� Just complain real quick��L������ that you never get
anybody interesting.��aC�u�� A������ feet are really...��l�����n [ Laughter ]���C�u@�� ^]����� Just complain real quick��K�����M that you never get
anybody interesting.��砧���6 Yeah...
Q: Oh...��@�����x Oh, my God.
Oh.��C�u@�� z�ɡÁ Hey, dispatch.
Man: Yeah?��V�ˡŁX He's definitely gonna say this.
Joe: There's no way.��۠����5 Joe, you got him.��vC�u@�� ������� [ Laughter ]��
�ˡŁ
Over and out, dispatch.
Thank you so much.��l�����w [ Buzzer ]���C�u@�� ��š�� Narrator: Murr and Sal needed
roadside assistance,�� ������ � so they're first up
on the loser board.��
�C�u@�� Ɓ����� Toady we're working
as janitors��������� at Fairway Supermarket
in Brooklyn.��)�̡Ɓ
� Our goal is to convince shoppers
to make a complete mess��4C�u@�� ߇�̡Ɓ using a bizarre reason
given by the other guys.��������� If you can't convince
a shopper to go��ܠˡŁ� against their better judgment
and make a huge mess, you lose.��
C�u�� �k����� Wait.��`�����b Now we're ready.��KC�u@��
ʠ���� All right, boys. Sal's up.
Q: All right.����š��� We know no one's doing this,
right?�������� You're a Negative Nancy,
bro.�� �C�u@��
,������ What person
in their right mind��������� is going to take
a gallon of milk������� and throw it onto the floor
because I --������U You've been saying this
all day, bud.���C�u@��
B������ Somebody will
smash milk.��3�����5 Let the audience
look behind the curtain.��ܠ���� This came across the desk,
and I said,�� �C�uA�
]N����� "I don't think
it's gonna work,��4��6 and we're gonna be
in the supermarket all day."��Ѡ����
You don't have a desk.
Where were you sitting?��栻���� Yeah,
whose desk were you at?���C�u@��
|��ǡ�� Oh, hey, dear. How you doing?
Oh, here we go. Here we go.������� What is your name?���š��@ Let me ask you something,
Lucy.��������� Mm-hmm.���C�u@��
������� Come over here.�� ����� Q:
She looks like Deadpool.�� ��ơ��
� She looks like Deadpool,
like a little mini Deadpool.���C�u@��
�ڠ���� Lucy.����� See this?��m����� c Joe: "I want you to let out
the bad boy��������
� that's inside that
bad boy body of yours."���C�u@��
�P�ǡ�� I'm -- I'm gonna give you
the milk.���̡Ɓ� I want you to throw it
on the floor and break it.���̡Ɓ� Let the bad boy out that's
in that bad boy body of yours.��
kC�u@�
ߤ�ơ�� You know
what I'm talking about.�� Š���� � This is gonna
give me overtime.��wC�u@��
������� Q: Oh!���ǡ��
Oh, my God,
she's gonna do it?�������
+ Okay,
push this right here.���C�u@�� �š�� Oh, believable.
Oh, yeah.����ڡԁ� Oh [bleep]
she's method acting!
She's getting into character!���C�u@��-��ơ�� Y-You're welcome.
Thank you.��������� Thank you.
Don't worry about it.�������
� Oh, my God!��C�u��G������ She's acting.��3�����5 [ Cheering ]��vC�u@��aT����� My God!��Ѡ����� Lucy!
Miss, I --��栻���� He didn't think
that anybody was gonna do it.���C�u@��t��� I cannot believe it.
The first person.
All day -- the first person.��w�����y One for one, baby.��������� One for one.���C�u@��������� Wow.
What?!�������
� Joe: All right, Murray.��������@ Psst.��
�C�u@�����ġ�� You didn't drop anything
yet.��������� I need a solid.�� ������ What?��C�u@��������� These eggs.
Uh-huh.��5�š��7 I need you to
break them.��l�ơ��
"The pigeon lady blew her ass
out in the bathroom."���C�u@������� The pigeon lady blew her ass
out in the --��
(�����
* in the bathroom,
and I do not want to clean that.��C�u���֠���� [ Laughter ]��������� Come on!�� ?������ Nice, nice.���C�u@����̡Ɓ Please? I don't want to
have to clean the bathroom.�� ?����� A "You know you want to."��Š���� You know you want to do it.
Mnh-mnh.��C�u@�������� Do it.��m�¡��o Sal: "Are you doing it?"
Q: "Are you doing it?"�������� Are you --
Are you doing it?��
kC�u@��3-����� Mnh-mnh.��V�ǡ��X "It's fun. Didn't you ever want
to have [bleep] fun?"��栴���@ You didn't ever want
to have [bleep] fun?���C�u@��K𠽡�� For once in your life,
just have some [bleep] fun.��۠����� [ Laughter ]��栥���� No, you --��
kC�u@��i"�ȡ No, no, no,
it has to come from you.��������� It's kind of the hook
of the whole thing.��
k������ Oh, excuse me.
I'm sorry, sir.��wC�u@��������� Oh, that -- that?��������� That's up here to the left
over there.������� � Wow!
First one of season 8.��UC�u@�����̡Ɓ Do it, do it, do it.
Just smash -- I mean, smash it.�� ��ơ�� � I'm gonna
clean it right up.��K������ She's gonna do it.���C�u@���+�ʡā I can't believe
people are doing this.����ˡŁ� Murr: Just do it.
Just do it, do it, do it.��
J������ [ Cheering ]��C�u���I����� She did it!
That counts!��Ġ����� I got it. I got it.
It's okay. It happens.�� ?C�u@���P�ɡÁ At least it's not
the pigeon lady.��������� [ Ding! ]
Sal: I can't believe this.��
��š��) Here we go.
Milk and eggs.��VC�u@���Ѡȡ Two staples
have been shattered.��)�����+ How's it going?��K�����x You think you can do me
a quick favor?��������( I just need you.��
)C�u@��
$�ɡÁ I just need somebody to smash
this orange juice on the ground.��
��¡��
� "I like when 'dem customers
do da naughty."���C�u@��
'L����� I want you to do it
'cause I like when customers��ܠ����� do the naughty.
"Da naughty."��������� I like when 'dem customers
do da naughty.���C�u@��
B������ Just -- Look, here,
I'll give it to you.��۠����� Just smash it.��������� "Also, can I be honest?"�������� That's not right.��@C�uA�
Xp����� "I'm trying to seduce
my manager..."������� I'm trying to seduce
my manager...������� � "...and she gets turnt..."��*����� ...and she gets turnt...���� "...when I do
manual labor."���C�u��
p����� ...when I do
manual labor.��4�����6 Hook a guy up.
I want to get turnt.��
)C�u��
������� "Come on, shawty."��砯���� Come on, shawty.
Do da naughty.�� ������
l [ Laughter ]�� C�u@��
�L����� What's it gonna take, Shawty,
for you to do da naughty��۠����� and just break this bottle
on the flowty?�� ������a Get rowdy rowdy,
bowty bowty nowty nowty.���C�u��
������� "Shawty."
Shawty.��Š����* I want you to just
do this for me,��4C�u��
������� and I promise the outcome
is gonna be spectacular.�� ����� Whoa.
Oh, my God!��lC�u@��
�&�̡Ɓ Q, if she does this, you have
so much pressure on you.��
l�����
n I know!���ǡ��W This is gonna be three
for three!���C�u@��|����� [ Cheering ]����ơ��� Oh, there's a spill, everyone.
I got --��株���� No, I got it, miss.��C�u@������� I've got it.���ǡ��
Wet floor here, buddy.
Go around.����̡Ɓ � Thank you, please go around.
There's a wet floor here.��?������ Got naughty.���C�u��-������ [ Ding! ]��������� Joe: Ah, here he is.���C�u@��C������ Big box of cereal for Q.���ʡā! Yeah, I don't think that's gonna
make a big enough of a mess.��۠����� Let me see what
I can do real quick.��TC�u��^����� What's he doing?��6C�u@��|������ Murr:
Yeah, I agree with Joe.��������� I don't know if the cereal's
gonna do it, buddy.��x����� Let me see what
I can do real quick.��3C�u@����� What's he doing?�������
[ Sal laughs ]��
k�ȡw Just thought
this might be better.���C�u@���f����� Joe:
It's 22 pounds of popcorn.��@�����B Whoa, really?
22 pounds of popcorn.��
k������ Now, that's gonna
make a mess.��
JC�u@���a����� Say.�� ?�̡Ɓ A How'd you like to do
a good deed for the day?��������� What's that?��l�ȡk I'm just gonna
cut to the chase.���C�u@��爠ǡ�� What do you think
the odds are���̡Ɓ
that you would take those
two bags of popcorn...�������) Uh-huh.���C�u��K�ȡ ...spill 'em
all over the place.���C�u@������� Well,
here's the thing about it.��@�����B "I-I live for chaos."��������� I live for chaos.���C�u��0"����� "I want to watch
the world burn."��T�����V I want to
watch the world burn.���C�u��L������ Think about this.��*�����, Without chaos,
there can be no order.�� Ġ����
� Murr: Nice, good logic.���C�u@��bP�ġ�� That checks out.
Cobra Commander.��������� Come on.
No!��������W Come on!��砵���@ No.
Come on!��C�u@��v������ How many times are you gonna
get this opportunity?�� `�ɡÁ b What, you're gonna walk around
the corner, there's gonna be --��Š����) there's gonna be somebody else
with two giant bags���C�u@���t����� of popcorn
to spill all over the place?��@�����B That's never gonna
happen again.��������� Q, I'll give it to you
if you do one each.��V�����V Yes.
Okay, now we're talking.���C�u@���p����� How about this?
How about a human connection?��
(�����
* You do one,
I do one at the same time.��K�����w Come on.
Which one do you want --��)C�u@�������� buttered or non?��
J�����
L Come on, now.��*�����x Here we go.
Oh!��wC�u@�������� Oh, my God!��w�����y What is your name?��������5 Kim, I'm Brian.��m�ơ��� Let's --
Let's burn this mother down!���C�u���y����� All right, ready?��������� One, two, three!��C�u@���=����� Yeah!
I can't believe it!������� Burn it down!��x������ [ Giggling ]��
(C�u��#����� She did it!��������� [ Laughter ]��)�����
� [ Ding! ]���C�u@��8٠���� Narrator: All the shawties
did the naughty,��)��+ which makes Sal and Murr
tonight's big losers.���C�u@��N࠙��� All right.��m�����o So, we're at
the Prudential Center�������y at the Monster Jam event��������
* to punish Sal and Murr
in a grandiose fashion.��
)C�u@��f5�ȡ The two of you are gonna
take a ride����š��� in a Monster Jam Speedster,
okay?����̡Ɓ� And whoever handles it worse
is gonna get their stuff��C�u@����̡Ɓ crushed by a Monster Jam truck,
which is about 12,000 pounds.��������� That's right. And what are they
competing to save?�� �C�u@���M����� Well,
it's Sal's one-of-a-kind��*�����, "Impractical Jokers"
pinball machine��w������ versus
Murr's fleet of Segways.�� �C�u���u����� How is this even
a fair comparison?��5�����7 This was made for us.��U������ One of these exists.���C�u@��������� Q: Yeah, and you got it,��V�̡ƁX and we can't stand it,
so we're crushing it.�������y Joe: Crushing it.��V������ Buckle up, boys.�� `C�u@����̡Ɓ Joe: Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for joining us���̡Ɓ� live at the Monster Jam
at Prudential Center.��
l�̡ƁV I'm Joe Gatto along with my
favorite color-commentary host,��
�C�u@�������� Brian "Q" Quinn.��5�����7 Oh, my God, Joe, I can barely
contain my excitement.���̡ƁK Two men who define "wussy" are
locked behind cars right now.���C�u@��5����� We have Murray in a giant
vehicle with horns on it,��
��ġ��
� 'cause he's constantly horny,
and we have Sal in a Zombie��
�C�u@��/R����� because
he's dead inside.����ˡŁ� I thought you said
Murr was gonna be evil.���C�u@��D������ The two horns to be evil.��������� That's a good one, too.��V������ Sal: Oh, God.
I'm gonna throw up.���C�u@��Z����� Murr: This is not safe.��
J�ǡ��
L Let's bring in our two losers
right now.��w������ Bring in Murr and Sal.��
C�u@��xԠ���� Murr: Oh [bleep]��a�̡Ɓc Now, pound for pound,
Sal is the bigger wuss.��
��ɡÁ Murr has cried
on television 14 times.��
C�u@���𠖡�� Ooh.����̡Ɓ� Sal 13, so we'll see
who cries more here.�������
� And remember, whoever we decide
has done the worst��
�C�u@���P����� will have
his prized possessions crushed.��?�����A And here we go!��������� Oh, boy.
[ Air horn blows ]���C�u@���5����� There goes Murr!��4�����6 Oh, my God!��m�����
m Oh, my God!
Whoa!���C�u@���¡�� Q: He's gonna have to keep
his cool during these jumps,��)�����+ or we're gonna crush
his precious Segways, Joe.�� 栣��� Murr: Oh, my God!��KC�u�� 栠��� Oh, my God!��T�����V Dude,
he is getting some air!��?C�u@��!}�̡Ɓ That can't feel good on the
undercarriage when you land.��������� What the --
[ Air horn blows ]��Ѡ����
� And there goes Sal.�������� Look, you can already see
the fear in Sal's eyes.��
)C�u@��>K����� [ Laughs ]�� ������ � Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!�������� Ah!��wC�u��X⠡��� [ Both laugh ]��w�����y Oh, look at these two go!���C�u��p������ Oh, my God!��������� Oof!��
�C�u@���'�ʡā Oh, the bald man
will not have children.��
Ϡ����
� Hey, Sal, you want to play
some pinball today?��
C�u�������� [Bleep] you guys.��J�����L Do not crush
my pinball machine!���C�u@���k�ơ�� Guys, I'm doing good.
I don't want my stuff crushed!��
�ɡÁ
� "I don't want my stuff crushed."
You hear Sal?��4�����) Crush Murray's shit.��C�u@��Դ����� You're supposed to
take it easy!��ܠ̡Ɓ� Now, I slipped a $20
to the driver of El Toro,�� Ġȡ� hoping he would flip
that bitch.��@C�u@��ꚠ���� Uh-oh, Murr.��4�����6 Oh, my God!��w�����
� Oh!
Oh!����� And Murray gets jacked.�� �C�u��\����� Oh, it's pathetic what
I'm seeing down there.��
Ϡ����
� Oh, my God,
mother [bleep]���C�u@��頞��� [Bleep]��
k�����
m Potty mouth on Sal.��K�š��� Potty mouth points
for Sal.��lC�u@��6�ʡā This just in --
someone has shat themselves.��������� What?
Both!�� ������ Both shats!�� �C�u@��PD����� Are we done?�������
[Bleep] did it.
Good job, man.��a�̡Ɓ
m Cheers to you guys.
We'll tally the scores.�� C�uA�cѠȡ Oh, and the biggest
loser is...��a�����c Sal!
Murr!�������
m Oh!
Oh!����ɡÁ� We have a tie!
We have to crush everything.��?C�u@��y����� Everything gets crushed
in this situation!��������� Are you kidding me?��������
* Maybe we should
do a recount.���C�u@�������� I think it's Murr!
Sal!��K�����M Oh!
Oh!��l������ We really do have to destroy
everything!�� C�u@����� It's insanity!
Everything!������� It's insanity!
Whoo!��a�סс5 I'm done.
We get it. You're gonna crush
both our stuff.���C�u@�����ӡ́ We get it.
Yeah, go ahead.
Crush my shit.��V�̡ƁX You think I don't know
you were gonna crush it?�������x Q: All right, Zombie,
start your engine!���C�u��ݮ����� Oh, this is amazing.
Oh, my God.��v�����x No!��KC�u���s����� No, no, no, no!����ơ��� Oh, my God,
he destroyed it!��IC�u��X����� ♪��������� That's my...���C�u@��"������ My ride!
On tape.����� ♪��
������ Oh, no.��mC�u@��9
����� Oh, my God!��������� Oh, my God!��3������ There's nothing left!��mC�u@��P@����� Game over!��������� ♪��w����� Oh, my God, dude.���C�u��n����� That sucks.��۠ȡ� No multiball madness
on that one.���C�u@���x����� It happened so fast.��w�̡Ɓy Well, that's all here
from Prudential Center.��a������ Well, Joe,
it was a pleasure��*����� broadcasting with you
this evening.���C�u@����ɡÁ That's right.
We'll see you next time���ȡ
on the next
"Impractical Jokers."��
����� Hey, guys, I just ordered
a new Segway.��
C�u���-����� [ Laughter ]��������� You're a real
piece of shit.��3C�u@��ӡ����� Murr: "You want to hear
something crazy?"����̡Ɓ� Fun fact, actually, you know,
something crazy is...����¡��A "I've had, uh, two separate
body parts eaten�� �C�u@��釠ʡā by two completely different
animals in the last two weeks."��
(�ʡā
* I have had two separate
body parts eaten���C�u@��l�̡Ɓ by two separate animals,
both in the last two weeks.��
(�����
* What are the animals?�������? One was a cloud leopard.�� C�u@��ˠ���� Are you joking?���̡Ɓ� No, I went to a zoo,
and I had a backstage tour,�� ����� and I visited one...
Oh, my God.��aC�uA�2B����� We actually did that.
The cloud leopard tour.������� He's pulling from reality
right now.����ġ�� And one --
oh, not going?���š��� Okay.
And one was a turtle.��VC�u@��I������ Was that also zoo related,
or just like...����ġ��� Snapper -- Snapper turtle.
No.��Ѡ���� c What the hell?
Okay.��
(C�u@��]#�� "I'm thinking of going to work
at that Boober."��̡۠Ɓ� I'm thinking of going to work
at that, uh, Boober.��w�����V "You got that Boober up
in Canada?"���C�u@��u�ɡÁ Do you have that Boober
up in Canada?��J�����L No, we don't.
You don't?��m������ No, we only have taxis.��۠����� "You don't like topless drivers
up there?"��5C�u@����ǡ�� They don't like topless drivers
up there?��۠����� They don't like
topless drivers?��������
m Yeah.
Boober.���C�u@���-�ɡÁ Oh, you're thinking I'm talking
about "Uber."��l��n "No, Boober!"
No, it's Boober, Boober.��株���V It's the topless drivers.���C�u@���k����� I've never heard of that.����ˡŁ� Yes, they come to you --
It's all the rage.��w�ȡ
+ [Bleep] Murr, we just came up
with a good business idea.�� `C�u@��������� Hold on one second.�� ���ځ � Sal: "Oh, hey,
can you do me a fav?"
Hey, could you do me a favor?�� ������ Yeah.
"Can you keep your eyes out���C�u@���X����� for, like, an orange cat
in the street?"����ˡŁ� Could you just --
could you keep your eyes out����ǡ��
m for, like,
an orange cat on the street?���C�u@���I����� An orange cat?��Ѡš��� "My, uh -- My daughter wants one
for her birthday."��株���� Yeah, like an orange cat.���ˡŁ� My daughter wants an orange cat
for her birthday.�� C�uA�9����� If you're serious,
you could always check out --��l�����n like, they always
do free weekends��������
+ where it's free adoption.�������@ They don't charge
adoption fees or anything.��砼���) "That's how
I got my daughter."��C�u@��(w�ơ�� That's how
I got my daughter.��
Ϡ����
� You have kids?
I have a cat.���C�u@��<&�ԡ That's --
You have a cat?
What color is it?��������� Black and white.��K������ Oh. Damn.��aC�u��QC�ġ�� I almost sthe puzzle,
bitch, you know?��������� Nope, no one's
getting the cat.���S�k},����4����������Ż��� 2��������.�������&���������V�������3:�����|���������;������|�� ������D
�����|��J��j����Tv��������� �����]��������H��)����e%���������� �����nʷ�������������y�������C��*����~
��������m��������������T����l����������T��)��?�����T�����T��K��
���������������������������&����췎������H��
������z�����Z���������������Z��>�� 滔���w�����Z��z��w������������������Ћ�������5��ڻ����g���������������B����������
�����K��������Q�������巎��������������㷎��������m����R��������,��U�������������u�� 滕��)����������������/+��������I�� Ż���8���������������>������q���������Dj�����q��*�� �����N�����q��G�������R�����������m����W/��������1������cN��������s�������j����������������q���������-����������������������s�������[��л����E����������
)�����p��������+��滕���X��������`��U���������������K�������������%��������������e��λ����ַ���������廕��ؽ��������H��x�����7��������|�������K����� �����������Ϸ���� ���$��U�����&����� ���i��l����������!@����
����������!@��@�������C�����!@��v��
����� ѷ����!�����λ���4������"&����U����D췎���"&��B��U����MC�����"����������YA�����"���"�� `����b������#����
�����pS�����#��/��3�����8�����#�����)�����淎���#�����������������#���H��@�����·����#������������h�����$n���������|�����$n��)��
����Ć�����$n��\��������7�����$�����4�����m�����$���>��)����ؘ�����$���x��Ż���銷����%�����������0�����%���P��k�����������%���r�� ?���� ����&k���������������&k��O������������&k��w�� `���������'4����绕��������'4��:��绕��䷎���'4�����K����!1�����'4����������%������'4��㲂5����*������(f���������3������(f��9�������:Y�����(f��\��
�����E �����(����������M������(���I��l����U�����(������ ����Y�����)�����ۻ���^������)���F��Ż���e������)������a����l#�����)���̲������r"�����*�����
)����|M�����*���B��������ݷ����*���g��w�����V�����+w���������j�����+w��H��l�����ط����+w��j��w�����Q�����,*����K�����������,*��;�������������,*��i��������M�����,�����������緎���,���$��l�����U�����,���C��������S�����-Q���������f�����-Q��'�������������-������������-���N��l�����y�����-���v��
�����������.t���������������.t��M�� Ż���G�����.t�����?����������/R�����|�����/R��R�� ���� ������/R��y��V����%߷����/R�����л���*������/R���л���=������0�����?����D=�����0���?��V����I������0���i��x����O�����0�����������`ȷ����1\����a����g+�����1\��*��*����nW�����1\��m��Ż���H�����2
����m�����������2
��M����������2
�����
�����������2
�����������o�����3����W�����ȷ����3��?��
�����з����3�����������η����3�����W�����'�����3���1�������1�����3���|�� Ļ����������3������V�����O�����4�����滕���7�����4���)��m����ݦ�����4���O��w�����>�����5$���� 滕���&�����5$��'������E�����5u���������
���5u��C��ۻ���������5u�����W���������5u��²�� �����6�����*����5�����6���A�������%������6���m�������1S�����7@����
k����;������7@��S���@������7@�����x����F.�����8%���������L������8%��R���Q������8%�����@����W跎���8%��ղ� ����a�����93����a����gj�����93��B�� �����q�����93��d�������v������9�����`����������9���&�������,�����9���J��x�����������:;����������6�����:;��4��V�����������:;��u�������������:;�����
������<�����;8����������;�����;8��M��������������;8���������������;�����5�����N�����;���&��*�����z�����;���d��)����˥�����;������V�����������;������������������=���������巷����=��H��������P�����=�����
ϻ����!�����=���8��
k���� ������=�����V����淎���=���,�������巎���=���r��
J����"1�����>����������(0�����>���B��滕��/�����>���l�������6ɷ����?[����ۻ���J۷����?�����V����S3�����?���6��
(����]]�����?����� 滕��gE�����@\���������n������@\��L�������z����@�����л����ŷ����@���N�� ������I�����@������`�����������A�������������A���'�� ������"�����A���q��m�����������B�����������������B���I��4�����ķ����C7����绕��ɭ�����C7��R���Ρ�����C7��j��������Q�����C�����m�����������C���/��@����������C���^��滕���귎���C��������������D���������������E����v����p�����E��1���'d�����E��z�� ����0������E�����ѻ���5V�����E���P�������;�����E�����������@η����E���Ȳ�����Kⷎ���F�����
�����^ȷ����F���M��
�����s`�����G&����a����y÷����G&��,�� a�����&�����G&��`��������������G�����������:�����G���$��滕���"�����G���g�������8�����G������������鷎���H����� Ļ����������H���1��Ż����v�����H���T��l�����䷎���IG����
�����������IG��N��*����������IG��z��l����̇�����J����K�����Է����J��K��ۻ���ٱ�����J�����������5�����J�����L����䃷����J���5�������������J�����l�����u�����J���ɲ�л����G�����K�����@�����������K���F��滕��q�����K���n������������L�����m����������L���.�������B�����L���{��滕��*�����L���ɲ�m���� ������M����������%J�����M���G��滕��,2�����M������ܻ���2�����M������w����7������O���������>
�����O��'������C#�����O��K��
ϻ���M������O����������S������O���F��ܻ���Y������O������л���^`�����O���Ȳ�L����b������P�����滕��i������P���;��л���qh�����P���n������y}�����Ql����
�����������Ql��E��
l�����y�����Q�����^�����ٷ����Q���S��ۻ����������R�����������Q�����R���M��������������R������л����ɷ����R�����������ݷ����S�����ڻ���Թ�����S���H��V����������S�����������'�����TO����V����������TO��D��Ż����F�����TO�����?�������TO��ᲂ4�����������U���������� M�����U���Q������ b�����U���t������� a�����U���������� v�����V���������� #������V���N������� +������W+�������� 1ɷ����W+��3������� 8M�����W+�����L���� <������W+�����a���� A������X����l���� F�����X��$������� ^]�����Xf����K���� b������Xf��-��绕�� f������Xf��n��@���� iշ����Xf��������� z跎���Y.����V���� �@�����Y.��P��ۻ��� ������Y.�����v���� �������Y�����
���� �������Y���'��l���� ������Y���t��ۻ��� �鷎���Z����� ����� �������Z���L��
� Ɓ�����[��������� �&�����[��C��)���� �Q�����[�����4���� ߇�����[���������� 腷����[���S��ܻ��� �c�����[������
���� �k�����\�����`����
ͷ����\�����K����
ʷ����]���������
Z�����]��D�������
"鷎���]����� �����
,������]����������
1@�����]���C����
9�����]��������
=䷎���]���ò������
B������^�����3����
M˷����^���4��ܻ���
S������^���v�� �����
]N�����_�����4����
b������_���B��ѻ���
gW�����_������滕��
n?�����_���Dz������
|������`���������
������`���N������
�:�����`���y�������
�ʷ����`������Ż���
�������a����� ����
�������a���/�� �����
������a���j�������
�ڷ����b>�����
����b>��*��m����
�=�����b>��Q�������
�ͷ����b>����������
�P�����c�����
�D�����c��N���
�7�����c�����
k����
ߤ�����d
���� Ż���
�k�����d
��M��w����
�������d���������
�������d���$�����������d���m��Ż��� �����e2��������������e2��L�������-������e����������3s�����e���M������;������e���������G������f�����3����Uܷ����f���"��v����aT�����f�����ѻ���f'�����f���+��滕��m�����f���a��л���t᷎���gz����w�����Z�����gz��q������������gz�����л����������h8���������?�����h8��?������������h8��g��
������������h�����������[�����h���K�� �����{�����h���u�������������i^����5�����Ƿ����i^��?��l����̙�����i^���������������j2����
(�����������j2��@�������ַ����j�����������p�����j���'�� ?�����������j���A��ۻ���������k ���� ?����Ϸ����k ��S��Ż���������k ��{������������k�����m����!�����k����������%������k���b��
k����3-�����l|����V����8������l|��+��滕��?m�����l|��t�������K����m,����ۻ���Wͷ����m,��D��滕��^������m,��f��
k����i"�����m����������p������m���O��
k����{�����m������w�����������n�����������I�����n���*�������^�����n���k��U�����������o4���� ������9�����o4��S��K�����������o4�����������+�����o�����������ܷ����o���Q��
J�����(�����o�����������I�����p�����Ļ���������p���?�� ?�����P�����q<����������귎���q<��P��
������y�����q<�����V�����ѷ����r����)�����������r��O��K�����I�����r��s�������
������r�����
)����
$�����r�����
�����
������r���P�������
'L�����s�����ܻ���
-*�����s���C�������
5巎���s���w�������
B������t9����ۻ���
Hg�����t9��;�������
N$�����t9��X������
R.�����t9�����@����
Xp�����t�������
]B�����t���E������
bW�����t���x��*����
f������t�������
kw�����t���Ų������
p�����u�����4����
x=�����u���4��
)����
�������v]����绕��
�������v]��*�� �����
�,�����v]��[�� ����
�L�����v�����ۻ���
�)�����v���H�� �����
�������v������廕��
�������w�����Ż���
;�����w���0��4����
�������x����»���
踷����x��D��l����
�&�����xz����
l����
�������xz��S��绕��
�}�����xz��m�������|�����y6���������
�����y6��'��滕��������y6��o�����������y��������������y���-�������"������y���v��?����(������y���IJ������-������z����������=.�����z���&�������C������{��������Iӷ����{��-��ۻ���R������{��y��T����^�����{�����6����|������{�����������B�����{���7��x�����������{���u��3���������|����������������|���)��
k�����h�����|���L��������f�����}R����@�����������}R��B��
k����������}R�����
J�����a�����~���� ?����ע�����~��)��������^�����~��w��l�����̷����~����������爷���� ������������ ��N������������� ����������K������������������������@������������:�������)Z�������a��ƻ���0"��������T����;x������C��ƻ���L����������*����Pٷ������$�� Ļ���Z��������Y�������bP�������������h�������K�������m�������|��绕��q��������������v������j���� `����������j��D��Ż����η����j�����������t�����?����@�����������?��>��������r�����?��p��V�����ʷ����?�����������p�����'����
(�����������'��B��K�����緎���'��z��)���������������
J�����^��������#��*����̊��������L��w����������m����w�����|�����m��!��������8�����m��L��m����᧷����m��v��л����y�����1����������*�����1��0�������=������������
Q������F��x����˷�����o��
(����#�����-���������)������-��-��)����0淎���-��O���8ٷ�������)����@������H��ڻ���N���5����m����SO�����5�� ������WY�����5��S�������\
�����5��w��
)����f5���������������l4��������O�������t���������������������������������������S�� ������M�����p����*�����y�����p��8��w���������p��l�� ������u���������5�������������8��U������������Y�����������������V�����������1�������-��������V����҅��������� `�����緎���a����滕���Ϸ����a��S��
l�����=�����a�����
ϻ���������V����5�����E�����V��/������Y�����V��p��ڻ���5���������
�����!÷������E��
�����/R�������������8
������4�������D������2���������K6�����2��1��V����S������2��T�������Z����������
J����d^��������-��w����i�������v��
����xԷ����s����a����7�����s��)��
������緎���s��w��
���������;����������������;���������·����;��k��
������P����������?��������������A��������B��������k����5��������4�����k������/��m����Ң������Q����������/����)�����������/��I�� 滕��������/�����K���� 淎��������T����<��������'��?����!}�����=���������*8�����=��S��ѻ���/�����=���������4 �����=�����
)����>K�����=���� �����GϷ����=��,�������Pi�����=��f��w����Xⷎ��������w����a[��������(�������p������ ���������y������ ��'��
������'�����d����
ϻ����������d��Q��
���������������J�����N��������*��������k�����d����
��^�����d��M��4����Δ�����d���������Դ�����(����ܻ���ڒ�����(��C�� Ļ����X�����(�����@����ꚷ���� ����4�����з���� ��!��w�����I����� ��C����=����� ��n�� �����\��������
ϻ���-������?�������鷎���(����
k����*V�����(��%��K����.������(��E��l����6�������������=�������Q�� ����F��������� �����PD�����[��������TN�����[��'��a����Z������[��d�� ����cѷ��������a����j4�������O������n>���������������rη���������?����y�����������������������=��������9�������c��ۻ������������K�����c������C��l�����ѷ�����y�� ���������p����л����÷����p��>��a�����&�����p��y��������������H����V����������H��Z�������8�����H����������ݮ�����,����v�����&�����,��=��K�����s��������������
������)��I����X���������������������)�������"������R�����*������R��G��
����4������R��k��m����9
���������������@���������-��3����Kѷ�������V��m����P@�����e���������V巎���e��1��w����b^�����e��U�������n����������ۻ���s���������'��������x�����a����w���������a��+��a�����T�����a��y��*�����������a����������������\��������������\��P��
�����#�����\�����
�����-�����>��������������>��'��3����ӡ��������������<������H��������ⷎ������� �����釷����z����
(�����������z��Q�������l���������
(������������S��������������t�� ����˷����������"���������#�� ����+߷�������q��a����2B�����x��������:V�����x��?�������@U�����x��u��绕��D>�����x�����V����I��������������N&������?��ѻ���R����������
(����]#�����7����ۻ���f �����7��J��w����ny�����7����������u���������J����|k�������P��m�����ڷ���������ۻ���������������5������������ۻ����˷������N��������[����������л����-����������l��������������P��滕���������������滕���k��������������������*��w������������w�� `�����������e���� ������|�����e��+�� ����ܜ�����e�����������X�����)���������������)��G��������ŷ����)�����������I���������ѻ�����������"��滕���������i���������������� ����9����������l�������������C�������d��������v������y�����������绕��#b��������ֲ�����(w���������
ϻ���6H�������M��ܻ���<&�������������Cַ�����[��K����H#������y��a����QC�����A���������W鷎���A��K���T�gAsssAoc��hʁ2cň\��w)���cʅMOVIEgȒE��BPSD��164Dz�enggȦE��DURATIOND��00:24:20.590000000Dz�enggȟE��NUMBER_OF_FRAMESD��682Dz�enggȠE��NUMBER_OF_BYTESD��30005Dz�engg��E��_STATISTICS_WRITING_APPD��mkvmerge v41.0.0 ('Smarra') 64-bitDz�enggȻE��_STATISTICS_WRITING_DATE_UTCD��2019-12-07 21:34:03Dz�engg��E��_STATISTICS_TAGSD��BPS DURATION NUMBER_OF_FRAMES NUMBER_OF_BYTESDz�eng90763
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.