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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: Eߣ�B��B��B�B�B��matroskaB��B��S�g�mM�t�M��S��I�fS��M��S��T�kS���M��S��S�kS����M��S��T�gS�����O�I�f�*ױ�B@M��libebml v1.3.9 + libmatroska v1.5.2WA�mkvmerge v41.0.0 ('Smarra') 64-bitD��A6InDa�J�# .s��(�r�뗙�K(�ȪT�k���ׁsň\��w)��ƒ�������S_TEXT/UTF8�D%C�u@��4����� Joe: First one of season 8.��Š����� [ Giggling ]����ȡ� Narrator: Coming up, what's got Joe jamming in traffic?�� �C�u@��3:����� You know...��������� Will Sal unleash the beast?���ġ���Let the bad boy out that's in that bad-boy body of yours.��jC�u@��Tv�¡�� And which losing jokers will get trucked up�� ������ � in tonight's double punishment?��)������ [ Laughter ]�� �C�u@��nʠ���� Sal: Prepare for something amazing.�� �����  Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?��*�����@ [ Laughter ]���C�u@�炃������ Murr: Like a boss.��l�����n [ Laughter ]��?����� � Sal: I will never forgive you!�� �C�u�炜����� Joe: Larry!��򠠡��� [ Laughter ]��򠩡�� � Get rowdy rowdy, nowty nowty.�� �C�u@�炳z�����Today we're on the streets of New York City������� driving cabs for Brooklyn Radio Dispatcher.�� 栩����While driving, we've got to do��wC�u@���𠯡��and say what the other guys tell us.����ʡā� And as always, if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.���C�u���g�ȡ It's cold now, so we're gonna go.��C�u@���B�ˡŁ Sal: Well, you guys might be noticing something�� �ˡŁ a little different about your friend Joseph Gatto.��������� Yeah, see, he's got the slick new do.���C�u@��㠥��� It's a new do, y'all.��m�ǡ��o For years I have just quietly to myself�� U�̡Ɓ�wondered where you were gonna go with your next haircut.�� �C�u@��)��¡�� What's next. And you've done it.����ˡŁ� You've pushed it to the side, and it's becoming.�� Šơ��a You look like a mature dad.���C�u@��>������ I am a mature dad.��������� You're a dad.�� ������a Hello, Redina. Hi. How are you?���C�u@��R������ Hi. Good. How are you?��m�����o Joe, get tangled in that seatbelt, buddy.�� �ġ��� So, I'll just lock 'er up.���C�u��j������ Nope, sorry.��������� [ Laughter ]��C�u@���ԡ΁Okay, one minute -- one second. Hey. Got it.�� ������ � ♪���C�u���E����� [Bleep]�� )����� +Are you okay? Got it.��栚��� You got it.�� UC�u@���������You were thinking...��K�����M Joe, we put a harmonica in the car.���ɡÁ WJust start playing the harmonica while she's on the phone.���C�u@���֠����So you'd rather do the -- you'd rather do the 150 one?�� 堲��� � Yeah, that's what I was saying.��x�����aIt's more like, kind of like a mellow, upstairs...�� C�u@���K����� I can talk to him.����á���But downstairs, it's like -- you need, like, a ladder...�� U������ Sal: Start getting more obnoxious with it.��lC�u@�������� ...you know? Versus upstairs you can have,�� ����� like, 50 people and it'll feel like...��������� How is she not acknowledging him?�� �C�u�� Ѡ���� [ Laughter ]���C�u@��4������ Joe, drop some bad news on her.��U�ǡ��K My cousin has an ovarian cyst.��UC�u��MC����� Oh, I'm sorry.�� ������ � Joe start doing it really soft.�� `C�u��b������ [ Harmonica playing softly ]�� ������ � Yeah, that's how you breathe.�� 3C�u���8����� You look so sad.��)C�u@�������� "Am I crazy, or are we moving right now?"����ˡŁ� Am I crazy, or are we moving right now?��@������ What?���C�u@���h����� ♪������� Oh, wait, so this isn't your car?�� ����� I'm the driver, yeah.���C�u@���7�����Oh, but the license says it's someone else.��4�����6 Oh, that -- no, that's me. This is you?��)�����a Yeah, Al Pollard.���C�u@��銠ɡÁ I took that picture in the summer.��������� [ Laughter ]��k�̡Ɓ Joe: Murr, you may realize that there's a speed bag�� ?C�u@��ޠȡ hanging from your rear-view mirror.��������� I noticed the speed bag.���ʡā � That's so you can get your punches in.�� `C�uA,������ Matt? Yeah.���ǡ��� Hey, man. James. How are you?��砝���� Good. How are you?��K�����  "So you're from New Hampshire, right?"����ǡ��� You're from, uh, New Hampshire?��5C�u��*������ No, I'm actually -- I'm from Canada.��������� Punch the bag.��������a [ Laughter ]�� �C�u@��E �¡�� Hey, Murr, pull over and run into that store.����ɡÁ� Would you mind if I run in for one second��l�ɡÁ to grab my thing from right there?�� C�uA�Y�����Oh, absolutely, yeah. Thank you, bud.��۠����� I'll be right there. Yeah, no worries.��Šá�� � Joe: We put a lot of stuff in this store front.��a����� Just grab all of it and start putting it���C�u@��r"����� in the back seat with this guy.�� )����� + Okay.��������� Do you mind?��wC�u@���V����� I'm sorry, bud. Yeah, no, no problem.�� �����  [ Laughter ]��l������Murr: Do you mind? I'm just -- toss it right over you.��wC�u@���Q����� Yeah. Just toss everything.��K�����M Thank you so much, buddy.�� �����l Just get it, right? Thank you so much.���C�u���M����� I'm going camping.��������� Two sleeping bags,��l�����and just the bowling balls just right there.���C�u���S����� [ Laughter ]������� Where are you guys going camping?���C�u@����ǡ�� We're heading -- uh... "Brooklyn. Brooklyn."��񠦡��� B-Brooklyn.��l�ǡ�� a We're heading near... Brooklyn.�� C�u@�����ơ�� "One of my favorite animals are up there in Canada."����̡Ɓ� One of my favorite animals is up in Canada, actually.�� Š����� "The big antlers, and, uh..."��?C�uA=���ˡŁ The big antlers -- what are they called?��򠥡��� The, um...�� ������Uh, moose? "Goose, goose."��V�ȡW Goose, goose. "Yeah, Canadian goose."��Рȡ) Canadian geese. Canadian geese.���C�u@��=������ Joe: "No, moose, moose."��?�����A No, wait, moose!��V����� �Moose, yeah. Yeah, moose.��x����� [ Laughter ]���C�u@��`Ƞ���� Q: Offer him some.��a�����c You want some? No, I'm good, thanks.��*����� � "Is it 'cause of my lips?"���C�u@��H�ơ�� Is it -- Is it 'cause of my lips?��m�š��o My lips -- it's my lips...��򠝡�� c No, it's not that.�� �ʡāl Murr, there's our our friend on the street there, Adam Shuty.���C�u@���o����� Doesn't he owe you money?��W�ȡY Get out, punch him in the face, and get back in the car.�� �¡��a Give me one sec, bud.���C�u@���Π���� This guy owes me money.��W�ɡÁY Just keep an -- keep an eye on me.������� c One sec.�� Ġ����) Hey.��VC�u���O����� Sal: Oh, my God!��栤���� Q: He clocked Shuty!��m����� W Sal: No, no.��wC�u���>����� [ Laughter ]�� 栣��� � Q: Look at Shuty!�� C�uA �E����� "Hey, let me ask you something."����ȡ� Hey, let me ask you a -- a question.��۠���� x Yeah. "If you went camping..."��W�š��� If you went camping, right?���C�u@�� ����� "...and when you woke up..."��*�����, ...and when you woke up...����ǡ�� � "...your camping buddy was in the same sleeping bag..."�� �C�u@��1S�̡Ɓ ...your camping buddy was in the same sleeping bag as you...�� k����� m "...and he was kind of stroking your head���ȡa and kissing your ear..." ...and was, like,��xC�uA�F.�ˡŁ stroking your hair and kissing you, right...��������� "...would you tell anybody?"���š�� x ...would you tell anybody?��@������ I don't know. Yeah, probably not.�� C�u@��a����� "Hey, you want to go camping?"��a�����c [ Laughter ]�� ������ That's it? No?���C�u��v������ [ Buzzer ]�� `����� bMan: Here you go, buddy.�������� Hey, how you doing, bud?��xC�u@��������� Hey, dude. What's going on?��������� Murr: Q, in the front seat, we, uh --��V����� � we put a little prop for you.���ġ�� Can you, uh, put it on your right wrist, please?�� �C�u@���<�ơ�� Uh, what, did you go see a movie?���������I live in Manhattan. Oh.���������I moved there in '86.��C�uA�������I mean, I'm 50, okay?��5�����7 It's like -- You're 50?��*����� cI'll be 50 tomorrow.��)����� � Fist bump him. Fist bump him.��V�ԡ΁� Nice. Happy birthday, bro! Thank you.�� �C�u@��������� "Do you mind if I rock out to Smash Mouth?"����̡Ɓ� Do you want to, uh, rock out to some Smash Mouth?���C�u���P�����Smash Mouth? The band? Seriously?�� Ϡ���� � [ Laughter ]�� kC�u@�� ������ All right.��V�ġ��X "So, I've been having this reoccurring nightmare�������� W about Pat Sajak..."�� JC�u@��"1����� Murr: From "Wheel of Fortune"?��������� I've been, uh...���̡Ɓ � I've been having this reoccurring nightmare about,���C�u��6ɠ���� uh, Pat Sajak...���C�u@��J۠���� In -- In what -- In what sense?��V�ǡ��X Well, I'm there on the show, I do well,�� (�ơ��� and then he starts stalking me.�� �C�u@��gE�š�� Like, I go to the movies,����̡Ɓ� Pat Sajak is two rows in front of me laughing like a maniac.�� �C�u@��z�ǡ�� "And he keeps telling me, 'Solve the puzzle, bitch.'"��Р̡Ɓ� And he keeps looking me in the eyes and whispering to me�� ��ȡV and saying, "Solve the puzzle, bitch."�� `C�u@��������� [ Laughter ]���ȡ� So now I only watch "Jeopardy!"�� ������w Murr: "Head's up, by the way.��mC�u@�����¡�� There's a -- a spider nest in the back seat."�� ��ʡā � You're not one of those silly guys that,��4C�u@���ĠˡŁ like, are terrified of spiders, right?��砖���� No.���̡Ɓ �There was, like, a -- they found a nest in the back seat,���C�u@���Q����� a spider's nest.��m�����o It's a spider. Step on it.��@�á�� � Then you'd have to hear from all the spiders.���ơ��� You know, 'cause you can communicate with them, so...�� �C�u��󥠪��� Then I'd have to hear it.��C�u@�������� From all the spiders.�� v�ǡ�� x Which I can communicate with.��򠠡��l [ Laughter ]�� C�u@��0��ɡÁ All right, man, thank you so much.��Ѡ�����Cool, thanks. It was nice working with you.�������� � Murr: Well done, Q. [ Ding! ]��������K Sal, do me a favor.�� C�u��K�ơ�� Hit that red button that's in the middle right there.�� ������� [ Laughter ]�� �C�u@��s`����� [ Coughs ]��a�����c Yeah. Dude, it looks like�� a������you're running around with Method Man right now.���C�u@��������� Yeah.��������� You're about to pick up, uh, your customer.��栦��� x Oh, my God.���ġ��� I don't know what to do.���C�u@���頪��� Brooklyn Car Service?�� Ġ���� � Sal: Yes, yes.��Šǡ��� Why's this car smoking like this?��lC�u@����ǡ�� S-Sorry, I was just on break. I'm sorry.�� ����� Did you ever eat here?��*�ʡā5 My favorite pizza in the whole city.��lC�u@��̇�ġ��Oh, I just went yesterday. Oh, did you?��K�����M Did she just kick the seat, bud?��۠���� *Oh, have you had a long day so far?���C�uA��5����� You just got on your shift?��L�ȡN No, I'm pretty long into it now.����ȡ � It's been -- It's been laid back, but --��l�ɡÁ@ oh, can you just not kick the seat?���C�u@���G����� Thank you. Oh, yeah, so sorry.��@�����B No problem.���ǡ�� * "I can tell two things by looking at you right away --���C�u@�� ����� that you enjoy coffee..."��m�ˡŁo I can tell two things by looking at you.����̡Ɓ + I could -- I could've figured you for a coffee drinker.��栯��� Really? Yeah.��mC�uA^� ������ "...and also, you [bleep] with avocado."���������I drink a lot of tea. I know --������ � Oh, but number two, though. Oh, okay, what was your number two?��ܠ�ځw You [bleep] with avocado, though, right? Oh, you know I do.��wC�u@��7������ [ Laughter ]��������� Murr: He got it!���š�� � But, uh, you know, you might need to check the map�� �C�uA�M������ that we put on the front seat, there.���������I'm like, "I'm not gonna leave the house..."��ܠơ�� � Right, right, right, right.��Р����l Bud, check the directions.��LC�u@��b������ Maybe you, like, felt like your food...��栱���� Birds swallow rocks 'cause they...��Р����� Right. Yeah, yeah.��C�u��y}����� Uh, and now it's upside-down, buddy.�� ������ � You said Bedford? Yeah.�� lC�u@���y�̡Ɓ I just want to make sure I -- I use the quickest way there.��^�����`I haven't been in a car like this in such a long time.���C�u@�����ơ�� I know. They're old school, right?����š��� "It's nice, and it's so crazy that you just insist�������� A on keep kicking the seat."��Р����Like on special occasions, like -- or like a --��C�u@���ݠ����it's fancier than a -- Um, cool, just --�� ڠ̡Ɓ � if you don't mind, just don't kick the seat, please.��V�����4 Thank you so much.��C�uA/��'����� Oh, yeah, I'm so-- Does it seem like I'm kicking?��V�֡ЁX'Cause I haven't been kicking anything. Oh, okay.��Šá��  "Then it must be your friend that you're with."��?�̡Ɓ` Well, if you could ask her not to do it, it's fine,��4C�uA����ʡā 'cause she's the one right behind me.���������Who's right behind you?���ơ�� � Could you ask her not to --����ȡ� Oh, my God, I thought two people got in!��C�u@�� v�ǡ�� I thought there was someone behind me!����š��� Wait, so you've been talking to me this whole time?���C�u@�� +������ Yeah, it's just been me.���̡Ɓ There's a walkie-talkie on your seat there to talk to dispatch.�������� � Just complain real quick��L������ that you never get anybody interesting.��aC�u�� A������ feet are really...��l�����n [ Laughter ]���C�u@�� ^]����� Just complain real quick��K�����M that you never get anybody interesting.��砧���6Yeah... Q: Oh...��@����� x Oh, my God. Oh.��C�u@�� z�ɡÁ Hey, dispatch. Man: Yeah?��V�ˡŁXHe's definitely gonna say this. Joe: There's no way.��۠���� 5 Joe, you got him.��vC�u@�� ������� [ Laughter ]�� �ˡŁ Over and out, dispatch. Thank you so much.��l�����w [ Buzzer ]�� �C�u@�� ��š�� Narrator: Murr and Sal needed roadside assistance,�� ������ � so they're first up on the loser board.�� �C�u@�� Ɓ����� Toady we're working as janitors��������� at Fairway Supermarket in Brooklyn.��)�̡Ɓ �Our goal is to convince shoppers to make a complete mess�� 4C�u@�� ߇�̡Ɓ using a bizarre reason given by the other guys.��������� If you can't convince a shopper to go��ܠˡŁ� against their better judgment and make a huge mess, you lose.�� C�u�� �k����� Wait.�� `����� b Now we're ready.��KC�u@�� ʠ����All right, boys. Sal's up. Q: All right.����š��� We know no one's doing this, right?�������� You're a Negative Nancy, bro.�� �C�u@�� ,������ What person in their right mind��������� is going to take a gallon of milk��Р���� � and throw it onto the floor because I --��Р����UYou've been saying this all day, bud.���C�u@�� B������ Somebody will smash milk.�� 3����� 5 Let the audience look behind the curtain.��ܠ���� This came across the desk, and I said,�� �C�uA� ]N����� "I don't think it's gonna work,��4�á��6 and we're gonna be in the supermarket all day."��Ѡ���� You don't have a desk. Where were you sitting?��栻���� Yeah, whose desk were you at?���C�u@�� |��ǡ�� Oh, hey, dear. How you doing? Oh, here we go. Here we go.������� What is your name?���š�� @ Let me ask you something, Lucy.��������� Mm-hmm.���C�u@�� ������� Come over here.�� ����� Q: She looks like Deadpool.�� ��ơ�� � She looks like Deadpool, like a little mini Deadpool.�� �C�u@�� �ڠ���� Lucy.��򠥡��� See this?��m����� c Joe: "I want you to let out the bad boy�������� � that's inside that bad boy body of yours."�� �C�u@�� �P�ǡ�� I'm -- I'm gonna give you the milk.���̡Ɓ� I want you to throw it on the floor and break it.���̡Ɓ � Let the bad boy out that's in that bad boy body of yours.�� kC�u@� ߤ�ơ�� You know what I'm talking about.�� Š���� � This is gonna give me overtime.��wC�u@�� ������� Q: Oh!���ǡ�� Oh, my God, she's gonna do it?������� + Okay, push this right here.���C�u@��  �š�� Oh, believable. Oh, yeah.����ڡԁ� Oh [bleep] she's method acting! She's getting into character!���C�u@�� -��ơ�� Y-You're welcome. Thank you.��������� Thank you. Don't worry about it.������� � Oh, my God!�� C�u�� G������ She's acting.��3�����5 [ Cheering ]�� vC�u@�� aT����� My God!��Ѡ����� Lucy! Miss, I --��栻��� � He didn't think that anybody was gonna do it.���C�u@�� t��� I cannot believe it. The first person. All day -- the first person.�� w����� y One for one, baby.��������� One for one.���C�u@�� ������� Wow. What?!������� � Joe: All right, Murray.��������@ Psst.�� �C�u@�� ���ġ�� You didn't drop anything yet.��������� I need a solid.�� ������ What?��C�u@�� ������� These eggs. Uh-huh.��5�š��7 I need you to break them.��l�ơ�� "The pigeon lady blew her ass out in the bathroom."���C�u@�� ՗�����The pigeon lady blew her ass out in the --�� (����� * in the bathroom, and I do not want to clean that.�� C�u�� �֠���� [ Laughter ]��������� Come on!�� ?������ Nice, nice.���C�u@�� ��̡Ɓ Please? I don't want to have to clean the bathroom.�� ?����� A "You know you want to."��Š����You know you want to do it. Mnh-mnh.��C�u@�� ������ Do it.��m�¡��o Sal: "Are you doing it?" Q: "Are you doing it?"�������� Are you -- Are you doing it?�� kC�u@�� 3-����� Mnh-mnh.��V�ǡ��X "It's fun. Didn't you ever want to have [bleep] fun?"��栴��� @You didn't ever want to have [bleep] fun?�� �C�u@�� K𠽡��For once in your life, just have some [bleep] fun.�� ۠���� � [ Laughter ]��栥���� No, you --�� kC�u@�� i"�ȡ No, no, no, it has to come from you.���������It's kind of the hook of the whole thing.�� k������ Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry, sir.��wC�u@�� ������� Oh, that -- that?��������� That's up here to the left over there.������� � Wow! First one of season 8.�� UC�u@�� ���̡Ɓ Do it, do it, do it. Just smash -- I mean, smash it.�� ��ơ�� � I'm gonna clean it right up.��K������ She's gonna do it.���C�u@�� �+�ʡā I can't believe people are doing this.����ˡŁ� Murr: Just do it. Just do it, do it, do it.�� J������ [ Cheering ]��C�u�� �I����� She did it! That counts!�� Ġ���� � I got it. I got it. It's okay. It happens.�� ?C�u@�� �P�ɡÁ At least it's not the pigeon lady.��������� [ Ding! ] Sal: I can't believe this.�� ��š��) Here we go. Milk and eggs.��VC�u@�� �Ѡȡ Two staples have been shattered.��)�����+ How's it going?��K����� xYou think you can do me a quick favor?��������( I just need you.�� )C�u@�� $�ɡÁI just need somebody to smash this orange juice on the ground.�� ��¡�� � "I like when 'dem customers do da naughty."���C�u@�� 'L����� I want you to do it 'cause I like when customers��ܠ�����do the naughty. "Da naughty."���������I like when 'dem customers do da naughty.�� �C�u@�� B������ Just -- Look, here, I'll give it to you.��۠����� Just smash it.�������� � "Also, can I be honest?"�������� That's not right.��@C�uA� Xp����� "I'm trying to seduce my manager..."��Р�����I'm trying to seduce my manager...������� � "...and she gets turnt..."��*�����...and she gets turnt...��򠺡�� "...when I do manual labor."���C�u�� p����� ...when I do manual labor.��4�����6 Hook a guy up. I want to get turnt.�� )C�u�� ������� "Come on, shawty."��砯���� Come on, shawty. Do da naughty.�� ������ l [ Laughter ]�� C�u@�� �L�����What's it gonna take, Shawty, for you to do da naughty��۠�����and just break this bottle on the flowty?�� ������a Get rowdy rowdy, bowty bowty nowty nowty.�� �C�u�� ������� "Shawty." Shawty.��Š����* I want you to just do this for me,��4C�u�� �������and I promise the outcome is gonna be spectacular.�� ����� Whoa. Oh, my God!��lC�u@�� �&�̡Ɓ Q, if she does this, you have so much pressure on you.�� l����� n I know!���ǡ��W This is gonna be three for three!���C�u@��|����� [ Cheering ]����ơ��� Oh, there's a spill, everyone. I got --��株���� No, I got it, miss.��C�u@������� I've got it.���ǡ�� Wet floor here, buddy. Go around.����̡Ɓ � Thank you, please go around. There's a wet floor here.��?������ Got naughty.���C�u��-������ [ Ding! ]��������� Joe: Ah, here he is.���C�u@��C������ Big box of cereal for Q.���ʡā!Yeah, I don't think that's gonna make a big enough of a mess.��۠����� Let me see what I can do real quick.�� TC�u��^����� What's he doing?��6C�u@��|������ Murr: Yeah, I agree with Joe.���������I don't know if the cereal's gonna do it, buddy.��x�����  Let me see what I can do real quick.�� 3C�u@���񠢡�� What's he doing?������� [ Sal laughs ]�� k�ȡw Just thought this might be better.�� �C�u@���f����� Joe: It's 22 pounds of popcorn.��@�����B Whoa, really? 22 pounds of popcorn.�� k������ Now, that's gonna make a mess.�� JC�u@���a����� Say.�� ?�̡Ɓ A How'd you like to do a good deed for the day?��������� What's that?��l�ȡk I'm just gonna cut to the chase.���C�u@��爠ǡ�� What do you think the odds are���̡Ɓ that you would take those two bags of popcorn...�� �����) Uh-huh.���C�u��K�ȡ ...spill 'em all over the place.���C�u@������� Well, here's the thing about it.��@�����B "I-I live for chaos."�� ������� I live for chaos.���C�u��0"����� "I want to watch the world burn."�� T����� V I want to watch the world burn.���C�u��L������ Think about this.��*�����, Without chaos, there can be no order.�� Ġ���� �Murr: Nice, good logic.���C�u@��bP�ġ�� That checks out. Cobra Commander.��������� Come on. No!�������� W Come on!��砵���@ No. Come on!��C�u@��v������How many times are you gonna get this opportunity?�� `�ɡÁ bWhat, you're gonna walk around the corner, there's gonna be --��Š����)there's gonna be somebody else with two giant bags���C�u@���t����� of popcorn to spill all over the place?��@�����B That's never gonna happen again.�������� � Q, I'll give it to you if you do one each.��V�����V Yes. Okay, now we're talking.���C�u@���p����� How about this? How about a human connection?�� (����� * You do one, I do one at the same time.��K�����w Come on. Which one do you want --��)C�u@�������� buttered or non?�� J����� L Come on, now.��*�����x Here we go. Oh!��wC�u@�������� Oh, my God!��w�����y What is your name?�������� 5 Kim, I'm Brian.��m�ơ��� Let's -- Let's burn this mother down!���C�u���y����� All right, ready?��������� One, two, three!��C�u@���=����� Yeah! I can't believe it!�� �����  Burn it down!��x������ [ Giggling ]�� (C�u��#����� She did it!��������� [ Laughter ]��)����� � [ Ding! ]���C�u@��8٠���� Narrator: All the shawties did the naughty,��)�á��+ which makes Sal and Murr tonight's big losers.���C�u@��N࠙��� All right.��m�����o So, we're at the Prudential Center�������yat the Monster Jam event�������� *to punish Sal and Murr in a grandiose fashion.�� )C�u@��f5�ȡ The two of you are gonna take a ride����š��� in a Monster Jam Speedster, okay?����̡Ɓ� And whoever handles it worse is gonna get their stuff�� C�u@����̡Ɓ crushed by a Monster Jam truck, which is about 12,000 pounds.�� ������ �That's right. And what are they competing to save?�� �C�u@���M����� Well, it's Sal's one-of-a-kind��*�����,"Impractical Jokers" pinball machine��w����� � versus Murr's fleet of Segways.�� �C�u���u����� How is this even a fair comparison?��5�����7This was made for us.��U������One of these exists.���C�u@��������� Q: Yeah, and you got it,��V�̡ƁX and we can't stand it, so we're crushing it.������� y Joe: Crushing it.��V������ Buckle up, boys.�� `C�u@����̡Ɓ Joe: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us���̡Ɓ� live at the Monster Jam at Prudential Center.�� l�̡ƁV I'm Joe Gatto along with my favorite color-commentary host,�� �C�u@�������� Brian "Q" Quinn.��5�����7Oh, my God, Joe, I can barely contain my excitement.�� �̡ƁK Two men who define "wussy" are locked behind cars right now.���C�u@��5�����We have Murray in a giant vehicle with horns on it,�� ��ġ�� �'cause he's constantly horny, and we have Sal in a Zombie�� �C�u@��/R����� because he's dead inside.����ˡŁ� I thought you said Murr was gonna be evil.�� �C�u@��D������ The two horns to be evil.���������That's a good one, too.��V������ Sal: Oh, God. I'm gonna throw up.���C�u@��Z����� Murr: This is not safe.�� J�ǡ�� L Let's bring in our two losers right now.��w������ Bring in Murr and Sal.�� C�u@��xԠ���� Murr: Oh [bleep]��a�̡Ɓc Now, pound for pound, Sal is the bigger wuss.�� ��ɡÁ Murr has cried on television 14 times.�� C�u@���𠖡�� Ooh.����̡Ɓ� Sal 13, so we'll see who cries more here.������� �And remember, whoever we decide has done the worst�� �C�u@���P����� will have his prized possessions crushed.�� ?����� A And here we go!��������� Oh, boy. [ Air horn blows ]���C�u@���5����� There goes Murr!��4�����6 Oh, my God!��m����� m Oh, my God! Whoa!�� �C�u@���¡��Q: He's gonna have to keep his cool during these jumps,��)�����+or we're gonna crush his precious Segways, Joe.�� 栣��� Murr: Oh, my God!��KC�u�� 栠��� Oh, my God!�� T����� V Dude, he is getting some air!�� ?C�u@��!}�̡Ɓ That can't feel good on the undercarriage when you land.��������� What the -- [ Air horn blows ]��Ѡ���� � And there goes Sal.��������Look, you can already see the fear in Sal's eyes.�� )C�u@��>K����� [ Laughs ]�� ������ � Oh, my God. Oh, my God!�������� Ah!��wC�u��X⠡��� [ Both laugh ]��w�����y Oh, look at these two go!���C�u��p������ Oh, my God!��������� Oof!�� �C�u@���'�ʡā Oh, the bald man will not have children.�� Ϡ���� �Hey, Sal, you want to play some pinball today?�� C�u�������� [Bleep] you guys.��J�����L Do not crush my pinball machine!���C�u@���k�ơ�� Guys, I'm doing good. I don't want my stuff crushed!�� �ɡÁ �"I don't want my stuff crushed." You hear Sal?��4�����) Crush Murray's shit.��C�u@��Դ����� You're supposed to take it easy!��ܠ̡Ɓ� Now, I slipped a $20 to the driver of El Toro,�� Ġȡ� hoping he would flip that bitch.��@C�u@��ꚠ���� Uh-oh, Murr.��4�����6 Oh, my God!��w����� � Oh! Oh!��򠪡��� And Murray gets jacked.�� �C�u�� \�����Oh, it's pathetic what I'm seeing down there.�� Ϡ���� � Oh, my God, mother [bleep]���C�u@��頞��� [Bleep]�� k����� m Potty mouth on Sal.��K�š��� Potty mouth points for Sal.��lC�u@��6�ʡā This just in -- someone has shat themselves.��������� What? Both!�� ������ Both shats!�� �C�u@��PD����� Are we done?������� [Bleep] did it. Good job, man.��a�̡Ɓ m Cheers to you guys. We'll tally the scores.�� C�uA�cѠȡ Oh, and the biggest loser is...��a�����c Sal! Murr!������� m Oh! Oh!����ɡÁ� We have a tie! We have to crush everything.��?C�u@��y�����Everything gets crushed in this situation!��������� Are you kidding me?�������� * Maybe we should do a recount.���C�u@�������� I think it's Murr! Sal!��K�����M Oh! Oh!��l����� �We really do have to destroy everything!�� C�u@���񠷡�� It's insanity! Everything!��Р����� It's insanity! Whoo!��a�סс5 I'm done. We get it. You're gonna crush both our stuff.���C�u@�����ӡ́We get it. Yeah, go ahead. Crush my shit.��V�̡ƁX You think I don't know you were gonna crush it?�������xQ: All right, Zombie, start your engine!�� �C�u��ݮ�����Oh, this is amazing. Oh, my God.��v�����x No!��KC�u���s����� No, no, no, no!����ơ��� Oh, my God, he destroyed it!��IC�u�� X����� ♪��������� That's my...���C�u@��"������ My ride! On tape.��򠢡��� ♪�� ������ Oh, no.��mC�u@��9 ����� Oh, my God!��������� Oh, my God!�� 3������ There's nothing left!��mC�u@��P@����� Game over!��������� ♪�� w����� Oh, my God, dude.�� �C�u��n����� That sucks.��۠ȡ� No multiball madness on that one.���C�u@���x����� It happened so fast.��w�̡Ɓy Well, that's all here from Prudential Center.��a������ Well, Joe, it was a pleasure��*����� broadcasting with you this evening.���C�u@����ɡÁ That's right. We'll see you next time���ȡ on the next "Impractical Jokers."�� ����� Hey, guys, I just ordered a new Segway.�� C�u���-����� [ Laughter ]��������� You're a real piece of shit.�� 3C�u@��ӡ����� Murr: "You want to hear something crazy?"����̡Ɓ� Fun fact, actually, you know, something crazy is...����¡�� A "I've had, uh, two separate body parts eaten�� �C�u@��釠ʡā by two completely different animals in the last two weeks."�� (�ʡā * I have had two separate body parts eaten�� �C�u@��l�̡Ɓ by two separate animals, both in the last two weeks.�� (����� *What are the animals?�������? One was a cloud leopard.�� C�u@��ˠ���� Are you joking?���̡Ɓ� No, I went to a zoo, and I had a backstage tour,�� ����� and I visited one... Oh, my God.��aC�uA�2B�����We actually did that. The cloud leopard tour.�������He's pulling from reality right now.����ġ�� And one -- oh, not going?���š��� Okay. And one was a turtle.��VC�u@��I������Was that also zoo related, or just like...����ġ��� Snapper -- Snapper turtle. No.��Ѡ���� c What the hell? Okay.�� (C�u@��]#�á�� "I'm thinking of going to work at that Boober."��̡۠Ɓ� I'm thinking of going to work at that, uh, Boober.��w�����V "You got that Boober up in Canada?"���C�u@��u�ɡÁ Do you have that Boober up in Canada?��J�����L No, we don't. You don't?��m����� �No, we only have taxis.��۠����� "You don't like topless drivers up there?"��5C�u@����ǡ�� They don't like topless drivers up there?��۠����� They don't like topless drivers?�������� m Yeah. Boober.���C�u@���-�ɡÁ Oh, you're thinking I'm talking about "Uber."��l�á��n "No, Boober!" No, it's Boober, Boober.��株���V It's the topless drivers.���C�u@���k�����I've never heard of that.����ˡŁ� Yes, they come to you -- It's all the rage.��w�ȡ + [Bleep] Murr, we just came up with a good business idea.�� `C�u@��������� Hold on one second.�� ���ځ � Sal: "Oh, hey, can you do me a fav?" Hey, could you do me a favor?�� ������Yeah. "Can you keep your eyes out���C�u@���X����� for, like, an orange cat in the street?"����ˡŁ� Could you just -- could you keep your eyes out����ǡ�� m for, like, an orange cat on the street?���C�u@���I����� An orange cat?��Ѡš���"My, uh -- My daughter wants one for her birthday."��株��� � Yeah, like an orange cat.���ˡŁ� My daughter wants an orange cat for her birthday.�� C�uA�9����� If you're serious, you could always check out --��l�����n like, they always do free weekends�������� +where it's free adoption.�������@ They don't charge adoption fees or anything.��砼���) "That's how I got my daughter."��C�u@��(w�ơ�� That's how I got my daughter.�� Ϡ���� � You have kids? I have a cat.���C�u@��<&�ԡ΁That's -- You have a cat? What color is it?��������� Black and white.��K����� � Oh. 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