All language subtitles for How I Met Your Mother (2005) - S06E24 - Challenge Accepted (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng
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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,905
[ Ted Narrating ]
Kids, in the spring of 2011,
Zoey and I broke up.
2
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:07,775
But the good news--
Goliath National Bank
was finally ready...
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,945
to demolish the Arcadian
and build the new headquarters
I had designed for them.
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,947
Ho!
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,150
The only problem was
I kept butting heads...
[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]
6
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:19,253
with my project supervisor
on one very important issue.
7
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,355
I want to press the button
to blow up the Arcadian!
8
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,124
I want to press it!
I want to press it!
9
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,959
I want to press it!
Guys, I dated you both,
10
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,461
and neither of you
is good at pressing...
11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,597
or even finding
"the button."
12
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,766
After some awkward pawing
around, that building's
gonna fake an implosion,
13
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,636
say,
"Baby, that was great,"
and go to sleep.
14
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,339
She means you.
She means you.
15
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,441
I want to press it.
I want to press it.
16
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,875
I am gonna press the button!
[ Shouting, Indistinct ]
17
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,444
It's just
a button, okay?
18
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,979
Can we just talk about
something else, please?
[ Sighs ]
19
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,150
Well, I ran
into Zoey yesterday.
20
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,718
Ooh.
Ooh.
21
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,954
That's the first time
since the breakup.
How's she doing?
22
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:57,425
I'm still unemployed,
so I had to get
a couple roommates.
23
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,527
Saving money.
[ Chuckles ]
24
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,762
Making new friends.
No downside.
25
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,664
They're all 22 and sell drugs.
26
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:08,202
Which means
they're not taking them,
so that's a win.
27
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:13,741
Well, I can tell you're
really busy, so I should--
I'll let you go.
28
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,376
Hey.
29
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,010
You want to get coffee
sometime?
30
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,047
You know "coffee" is code
for "I want to get back
together," right?
31
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:24,051
Well, at first I wasn't sure,
but then she said something
that got me thinking.
32
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,386
I want to get back together.
33
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,121
- [ Both Groan ]
- Don't worry.
34
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,491
We're not. I just--
I feel bad Zoey's
having such a hard time.
35
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,528
You know what might make you
feel better, buddy?
36
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,530
I'm not letting you
press the button.
I want to press the button!
37
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,098
You're not pressing
the button! It's my button!
I'm gonna press--
38
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,268
[ Ted Narrating ]
Sadly, that's all you need
to know about my summer.
39
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:44,472
Now around this time,
Uncle Marshall was still having
a tough time finding a job.
40
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,707
He's out printing up
a whole new
batch of résumés...
41
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,377
because he misspelled
the phrase
"detail oriented."
42
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,512
Mm.
And when he
gets back home,
43
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,114
he is gonna find
his favorite soup
there waiting for him.
44
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:58,252
Aw. That's sweet, Lil,
but didn't you guys get
food poisoning here one time?
45
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,290
Three times.
But they're really
nice about it.
46
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,659
Their policy is "get sick,
get a free gallon of soup."
47
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,862
[ Sneezes,
Clears Throat ]
48
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:14,268
And so Lily dropped off
Marshall's surprise soup
and headed back to work...
49
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,070
to introduce the new class pet.
50
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,039
This is Mr. Buttons II.
51
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:22,109
Now, after what happened
to Mr. Buttons I,
52
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,745
we have to be
very gentle with--
53
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,080
[ Vomits ]
54
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,217
[ Groaning ]
55
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,520
Marshall!
56
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,132
[ All ]
Ew!
57
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,268
[ Panting ]
58
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:52,906
- [ Tires Screech ]
- [ Horn Honks ]
59
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,375
Sorry.
60
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,515
[ Vomits ]
61
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,685
[ Groans, Panting ]
62
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,191
Don't eat the soup!
63
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,329
Oh. Thank God.
[ Panting ]
64
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:18,332
This was about to be
my third bowl.
65
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,569
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
66
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,239
[ Retches, Vomits ]
67
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,840
[ Groans ]
68
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,378
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
69
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,946
** [ Upbeat Pop ]
70
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,484
** [ Man Vocalizing ]
71
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,424
** [ Ends ]
72
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:47,160
Hey, Mr. Architect!
Big day for you tomorrow, huh?
73
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,063
Yeah. Getting to stand next
to me while I press the button.
74
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,199
That is gonna be legen--
wait for it--
75
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,201
dary adjacent.
76
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:57,070
Legendary adjacent!
77
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,573
You okay?
78
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,974
Yeah. No.
79
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,944
I-- This morning I was
talking to the foreman.
80
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,946
Hey, hotshot.
81
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,716
You know, Rod, um,
I'm loving that nickname.
82
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,352
And I can tell
it's totally affectionate.
83
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,987
But, uh, I prefer Ted.
84
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,824
Yeah, but you're such a hotshot,
85
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,827
I figured I'd just
call you "hotshot."
86
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,930
Pick one. And make sure
you like it.
87
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:27,635
There's gonna be 50,000
of these in your big
hotshot building, hotshot.
88
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,704
50,000 lightbulbs.
89
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,573
I mean, what if
this one's too bright?
90
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,107
What if this one flickers...
91
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,176
and gives everyone
a weird headache?
92
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,578
Do you know how many
people it takes...
93
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,747
to change 50,000 lightbulbs?
94
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,449
Are these people
Irish, Polish, blondes?
95
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,883
What are we dealing with here?
96
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,353
There's so many
decisions to be made.
97
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:46,654
What if I make all
the wrong ones...
98
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,121
and my building just sucks?
99
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,122
Not possible.
100
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,391
Your building is new.
101
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,959
And I have one rule--
102
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,462
new is always better.
103
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:57,297
You can't keep saying you have
one rule if they're always
different rules.
104
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,232
Ah! But "new is
always better"...
105
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,434
is my oldest rule,
106
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,969
which makes it the best.
107
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,373
- Marsh.
- Hey, buddy.
108
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,475
- Hey.
- Everything okay?
109
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,777
Lily got food poisoning
from some soup.
110
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,211
[ Groans ]
111
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,380
And then I ate the soup...
112
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,047
exactly three hours later,
113
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,583
which means I can see...
114
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,386
exactly three hours
into my future.
115
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:24,492
And it doesn't... look... good.
116
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,560
[ Marshall ]
I tried to be supportive.
117
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,463
Oh, baby, can you
just hold me, please?
118
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,799
Of course, baby.
119
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,668
[ Groans Softly ]
120
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,804
But it doesn't help
that when Lily gets going...
121
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,573
she sounds like a velociraptor
from Jurassic Park.
122
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:44,211
[ Loud Roaring, Vomiting ]
123
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:49,316
But then I realized a man can do
a lot of living in three hours.
124
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:54,688
So I'm out experiencing
this beautiful,
crazy dance called life.
125
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,890
Ah. My last meal.
126
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,192
MacLaren's famous
jalapeño poppers.
127
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,996
My doctor says I need
to eat healthier, so I figure
the round-trip flight...
128
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:06,366
these babies are about to take
will land them permanently
on the no-fry list.
129
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,737
Good-bye, my friend.
130
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,574
It's been a hell of a ride.
131
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,912
I have to--
[ Whimpers ]
132
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,382
Hey, babe.
133
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,084
The gang says,
"Feel better."
134
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,487
Mm, thanks. Wait.
135
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:29,356
You didn't tell them
I had food poisoning, did you?
136
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,091
Um, I--
137
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,828
Marshall, when it's
stomach stuff, you just say
"under the weather,"
138
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,798
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
139
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:41,702
I know! I just said
that you have the sniffles.
140
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:46,139
No one is picturing anything
but little red-nosed you...
141
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,275
under a blanky
with some hot tea.
142
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:51,278
I wonder what end
it's coming out of Lily
right now.
143
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,180
[ Laughing ]
I bet it's her tushie.
144
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,282
I bet it's both.
[ Laughs ]
145
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,117
[ Imitates Explosions ]
146
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,952
[ Imitates Retching ]
147
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:02,456
[ Laughs ]
Hey, speaking of explosions,
enough already, Ted!
148
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,091
That button's mine!
149
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,659
Yeah, fine, okay.
150
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,361
I got you this job, so I--
Say what?
151
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,332
Whatever. It's yours.
I got to run.
152
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,767
You--
153
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,404
[ Cell Phone Rings ]
154
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,639
Hello?
155
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,241
Yes, it is.
156
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,444
It's Bloom,
Greenberg & Associates.
They want me to come interview.
157
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,313
[ Loud Roar, Vomiting ]
158
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,081
Yes, I know it's risky to go,
159
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,383
but this is the best
environmental law firm
in New York.
160
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,585
It's my dream job.
161
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,921
[ Roaring, Bellowing ]
162
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,024
That's a great idea, babe.
I'll ask them.
163
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,561
Hey, is it at all possible--
Could I come in on Monday?
164
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:45,298
Okay, I'll see you at 5:00.
Thank you.
165
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:49,469
[ Roaring, Bellowing ]
166
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,939
I love and believe
in you too, baby.
167
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:56,577
Why would Ted just give up
the button like that?
168
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:57,878
He--
[ Cell Phone Chimes ]
169
00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,680
And he forgot his phone.
[ Scoffs ]
170
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,483
- "See you in an hour."
- Who's that from?
171
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,754
Zoey. They're meeting
for coffee.
172
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,823
Ted's getting back
together with her.
173
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,298
Why would Ted
get back together with Zoey?
He's doing great.
174
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,634
Well, after a breakup,
we all think we're doing great.
175
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,604
But sometimes
the tiniest trigger
can unravel you...
176
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,372
and send you crawling
right back.
177
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,974
No. I refuse to believe
that Ted...
178
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,176
is getting back
together with Zoey
because of lightbulbs.
179
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,178
Uh, Ted's gone back for less.
180
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,581
[ Air Hissing ]
181
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,619
Hi. Natalie, you want
to get coffee sometime?
182
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,520
[ Bell Dings ]
183
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:43,791
Bro?
184
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,594
Ted, I only have one rule.
185
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,196
[ Sobbing ]
But I can't reach
the worst part.
186
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,500
Hi, Karen.
Want to get coffee sometime?
187
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,402
[ Bell Dings ]
188
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,970
[ Man On TV ]
Coming up next--
189
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:01,041
our two local pandas,
Ming Ming and Bao Bao,
are expecting a baby.
190
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,777
- Robin, you want
to get coffee sometime?
- [ Blows Raspberry ]
191
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,545
Get it together, bro.
192
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,650
According
to my calculations,
at 6:00 p.m....
193
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:14,454
my body is gonna pay out
like the most disgusting
slot machine in the world.
194
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,925
That gives me two hours
to go do the interview
and still get back in time.
195
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,427
Oh, but, baby,
what if you hit
the jackpot early?
196
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,931
Oh, don't worry.
I'll be prepared.
197
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,768
** [ Drumming: March ]
198
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,376
[ Exhales ]
199
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,178
[ Sloshing ]
200
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,615
[ Both Laugh ]
201
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,851
Well, I'm talking
your ear off. Sorry.
202
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,119
Is there anything
I can do for you, sweetie?
203
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:52,125
Can I borrow...
204
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,927
an adult diaper?
205
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,098
We gotta stop Ted.
Where are they meeting?
206
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:01,334
Okay, Zoey wrote,
"Meet me at 6:00
where it all began,
207
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,737
where you gave me the orchid
at the intersection."
208
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,939
Well, that's good.
All we have to do
is think back...
209
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,275
to the time Ted told us about
his first date with Zoey.
210
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,511
Amazing first date with Zoey.
We met at the intersection--
211
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:14,815
[ Trombone Squawking ]
212
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:17,284
Aw! That's sweet.
Totally.
213
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,253
- You weren't listening either?
- I was in a coma.
214
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,956
I mean, who pays attention
to that sappy romantic crap?
215
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,892
- [ Scoffs ]
Lily!
- Lily!
216
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,494
Yeah, I wasn't listening either.
217
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,130
Ted really can
go on about a bitch.
218
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:33,901
Great. He could be anywhere,
and we're flat out of clues.
I--
219
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,769
Hey, wait!
Ted left a message.
220
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,339
I couldn't hear it
'cause I was in the bathroom...
blowing my nose.
221
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,141
I have the sniffles.
222
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,575
[ Beeps ]
223
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,377
[ Ted ] Hey, Lily.
Hope you're feeling better.
[ Man Chattering ]
224
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,947
Marshall told us
you're exploding from both ends
like a busted fire hydrant.
225
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,516
- [ Stifled Laugh ]
- Damn it, Marshall.
226
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,385
Anyway, listen.
I was gonna get back together
with Zoey today,
227
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:55,823
but then I came to my senses
on the way out here, so--
228
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,657
False alarm.
[ Laughs ]
229
00:10:57,725 --> 00:11:01,228
Oh, crap.
I just stepped in some gum.
230
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,196
I'm getting back together
with Zoey!
[ Machine Beeps ]
231
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,298
[ Sighs ]
Okay, we're never
gonna find him.
232
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,769
Hey, wait, wait, wait!
That was a subway announcement
in the background.
233
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:09,737
I speak conductor.
234
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,504
- [ Beeps ]
- Hey, Lily.
235
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,273
- Hope you're feeling better.
Marshall told us--
- [ Man Chattering ]
236
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,943
Got it. Ted's at--
237
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:18,779
Lil--
238
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,581
[ Loud Roaring ]
239
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:22,816
[ Laughs ]
240
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,517
[ Lily ]
Ah-choo!
241
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,353
Ted's at Smith and 9th Street.
242
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,388
Then that's
the intersection.
That's in Brooklyn.
243
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,424
How are we ever gonna
get there in time?
Way ahead of you.
244
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,162
Hello!
245
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:41,068
Marshall! Jake Bloom.
Great to meet you.
246
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,804
Hello. Hi.
Hey. Oh, I'm sorry
about the stench.
247
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:47,174
We're suing a factory
that's been dumping raw sewage
into a local marshland.
248
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,876
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah. Ten minutes ago,
249
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:52,112
I was knee-deep
in liquefied human feces.
250
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,182
And that was just
on the F train.
[ Laughs ]
251
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,150
[ Forced Laugh ]
252
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,586
I can't believe
Ted's getting back
together with Zoey.
253
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,655
I know. They were
a total train wreck.
Unmitigated disaster.
254
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,691
Worst couple ever.
255
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,759
Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
256
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,460
Almost as bad as us.
257
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,996
[ Laughs ]
258
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,031
We were a mess.
[ Laughs ]
259
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,233
Do you remember how awful
I looked by the end?
260
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:17,704
My hair was falling out.
My skin was gray.
My back was hunched.
261
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,239
What about me?
262
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:22,675
I got so fat,
at the end of the date
you'd unhook my bra.
263
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,146
[ Laughs ]
You were the only boyfriend
I ever motorboated.
264
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,281
[ Both Laugh ]
265
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,551
Thank God we're not
sentimental saps who panic
and get back together.
266
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,719
Seriously.
267
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,487
Why would people do that?
268
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,926
I guess I get it.
269
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,193
What do you mean?
270
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,296
Well, no matter
how bad things got,
271
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:49,369
Ted really did love
Zoey for a minute there,
didn't he?
272
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,010
Yeah. He did.
273
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,549
And... she loved him too.
274
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,118
Didn't she?
275
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,156
Yeah, she did.
276
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,759
[ Tires Screech ]
277
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,561
[ Clears Throat ]
278
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,997
Smith
and 9th Street.
279
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,631
[ Mouth Full ]
So, let me show you...
280
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,935
some of the gut-wrenching
environmental atrocities...
281
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,703
that we are working
to stop, okay?
282
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,072
Mmm.
[ Smacks Lips ]
283
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,875
- Here. Pop quiz.
- [ Clicks On ]
284
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,910
What is that?
285
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,744
[ Winces ]
That's a seal.
286
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,413
Bingo. Yes.
287
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,683
A bloated seal corpse
rotting in industrial waste.
288
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:37,985
Mm-hmm.
289
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,020
Now, wait till you see
what we found...
290
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,122
when we cut him open.
291
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,523
[ Clicks ]
292
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:46,093
Okay, where the hell are they?
Maybe this isn't
the intersection.
293
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,995
Well, maybe it is
and we're too late.
294
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,497
Man, I wish we'd gotten
to Brooklyn sooner.
295
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,165
[ Man ]
I know, right?
296
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:56,436
Ever since
the Trader Joe's opened up,
Brooklyn is so-- whatever.
297
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,406
Wait.
Where'd you get that?
298
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,975
Across the street.
At The Intersection.
299
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,578
So, um,
300
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:09,482
you guys wanna buy
some weed or--
301
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,761
She's alone.
There's still time.
But where the hell is Ted?
302
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:25,165
Wait a minute.
On their first date,
he brought her an orchid.
303
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,667
How much do you wanna bet
he's gonna do it again?
304
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,102
- Brilliant.
- Right?
305
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,938
But wait. He had a huge
head start on us.
306
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,472
There's no way
he's still in there,
307
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,942
unless he spent
half an hour picking out
the perfect orchid.
308
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,944
Thanks, Julia.
309
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,347
You know what?
310
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,216
Let me see the
pink lady's slipper again.
311
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,187
Now, you know
what that is?
312
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:51,558
A pile of rotting
seagull carcasses...
313
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,660
covered in toxic sludge.
314
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,928
Being eaten by rats.
Mm-hmm.
315
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,463
Exactly.
316
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,966
Now this next slide--
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
317
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,868
I'm sorry.
That's my wife's
water birth.
318
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:04,004
I don't know
how that got in there.
319
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:07,040
[ Sighs ]
320
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,509
Anyway,
that's all my questions.
321
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,445
[ Thinking ]
Oh, my God. I made it.
322
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:16,116
Now just shake his hand,
clench your very soul
and run like hell.
323
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,319
Mm. Now, I like to
set aside 20 minutes...
324
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:22,089
at the end
of every interview
for your questions.
325
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:26,126
So don't hold back.
Whatever you got inside
there, you just let 'er rip.
326
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:31,398
I can't do this anymore.
I'm just gonna tell him
the truth.
327
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,668
When it's stomach stuff,
you just say
"under the weather,"
328
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:39,172
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
329
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:41,808
I have food poisoning...
330
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:44,978
and I'm about to start
volcanoing toxic sludge
out of both ends.
331
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,279
Nailed it.
332
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,252
Thanks, Julia!
333
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:53,853
[ Sighs ]
334
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,488
No. On second thought--
335
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:56,990
No!
[ Shouts ]
336
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,992
[ Grunting ]
Come on!
What the hell?
337
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,527
You can't get back
together with Zoey...
338
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,262
just because
you're freaking out
over a lightbulb.
339
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,431
I'm not freaking out
over a lightbulb.
340
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,134
I'm freaking out
over 50,000 lightbulbs!
341
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,136
I can't do this.
342
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,638
I only got this job
because you gave it
to me, Barney.
343
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,373
I didn't earn it.
344
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:17,644
Look, Ted,
the future is scary.
345
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:21,381
But you can't just
run back to the past
because it's familiar.
346
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,484
Yes, it's tempting.
347
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,487
But...
348
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,056
it's a mistake.
349
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,723
[ Sighs ]
350
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,194
[ Sighs ]
You're right.
351
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:37,297
Um, excuse me.
352
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:40,133
Can you give this
to the blonde
sitting alone in there...
353
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,136
and tell her
Ted's really sorry?
354
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,372
Also--
355
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,108
Indirect sunlight.
Don't overwater.
356
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,776
Half a cup a week
is more than enough.
357
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,522
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
358
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,525
No. Um--
359
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,893
Hi.
360
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,561
[ Ted Narrating ]
And, kids--
361
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,965
That's how I met your mother.
362
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,802
Psych.
It was just some chick.
363
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,241
Hey, baby. How'd it go?
364
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,009
Lily, this year--
[ Briefcase Clatters ]
365
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:28,081
this nasty, school-yard
bully of a year-- will not stop
punching me in the face.
366
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,583
How did we kick off 2011?
367
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,119
My dad died.
368
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:36,089
And now after five months
of unemployment,
I just blew my dream job.
369
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:39,226
Good news is, in a few seconds,
I'm gonna start heaving
my guts out...
370
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,394
because that's what
life is for me now--
371
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:44,864
just losing what's inside
until I'm just empty.
372
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,399
Baby, come here.
373
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,670
I just wanna shut my eyes
for a few seconds
before it starts.
374
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,210
[ Sighs ]
375
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,750
[ Ted Narrating ]
And Marshall slept.
376
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,221
All night.
377
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,368
Okay, hotshot.
378
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,936
Mr. Stinson.
379
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,438
Who's going to do the honors?
380
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,674
He is.
381
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,975
Are you sure?
382
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,478
Yeah. You earned it.
383
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,482
All clear.
384
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,450
[ Exhales ]
385
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,186
Hey.
386
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,454
New is always better, right?
387
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:43,623
Always.
388
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,793
Ten,
389
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,561
nine, eight--
390
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:52,732
Lily. It's a miracle.
I didn't get sick.
391
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,567
I-- I didn't get sick.
392
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,403
I know, baby.
393
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,173
I'm pregnant.
394
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,642
** [ Alternative Rock ]
[ Exhales ]
395
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,631
[ Man ]
* Let it roll
across the floor *
396
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,636
* Through the hole
and out the door *
397
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,407
* To the fountain
of perpetual *
398
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,543
You know, I'm proud of you
for giving Ted the button.
399
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,746
It meant a lot.
It's just a button.
400
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,814
[ Mock Crying ]
Can we talk about
something else, please?
401
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,750
[ Laughs ]
402
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,219
** [ Continues ]
403
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,787
I don't--
But you need to.
404
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,623
Nora.
Hi.
405
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,024
How have you been?
406
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,593
Fine.
407
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,566
Hey, look.
I don't know why you would
possibly say yes to this,
408
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:03,270
but would you want
to grab a cup of coffee
with me sometime?
409
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,873
Twenty minutes.
I was such a jerk to you.
410
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:10,176
You can spend the entire
time calling me every
dirty name in the book.
411
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:13,346
I speak four languages.
I'm gonna need more
than 20 minutes.
412
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,549
I'll call you.
413
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,751
You look beautiful,
by the way.
414
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,421
And here I thought it was
too late for sundresses.
415
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,590
It's never too late, Barney.
416
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,928
Challenge accepted.
417
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,798
** [ Continues ]
418
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,777
Best man,
you're being summoned.
419
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,446
Geez. What now?
420
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:50,583
* Let it roll *
421
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,785
I heard the groom needed me.
422
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,488
* Let it roll *
423
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,724
What do you think
of this tie?
424
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,759
* Let it roll **
29657