Original subtitles

Kieran.

Mum, this is Benjamin's brother.

I didn't say a break. I said time out.

They're very different things.

Prenuptial agreements are standard practice...

I know what it is. Did your father put you up to this?

Would you do me the honour of being my wife?

Because of her... Julia.

Maybe it was a dream. Or maybe I got it wrong.

And I didn't see my dad beat my mum and then try to kill himself.

I want us to elope.

Our wedding is in two days.

There's something that you're not saying.

And I'm not an idiot.

This is Benjamin.

Who's he to you?

Um, I'm marrying him tomorrow.

After what he did?

_

I'm not who I say am.

But then, who is?

We all wear our masks.

Hide our darkness.

Our pain.

We all want to be someone we're not.

But where's the harm in that?

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com

_

Of course I wish you were here.

Of course I do, but...

And none of it's easy and it's made a shitload harder by you calling me

half-cut when I'm with my wife.

Oh, please...

Julia!

Mum, are you in there?

Oh, just one sec.

What happened to you yesterday?

- Oh. - Mum?

What is it? What's wrong?

Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong.

What was with the radio silence, then?

I called, like, six times after we spoke,

kept going to voicemail.

My phone died. I didn't mean to worry you, darling.

I just had some last-minute stuff to deal with.

Well, that is what Patrick and I are here for.

Your job is a very simple one.

Enjoyment.

Now, get showering.

You old fool.

Oh... it's too much.

I figured if ever there was a time for sentiment,

it's now, but you have to promise not to laugh.

No, I won't.

If I see even the hint of a smirk, then...

the drawbridge is coming up.

I can't imagine how lonely it's been.

Having no-one on your side about Benjamin.

But you have just stuck to your guns in the most brilliant way.

So, in the spirit of channelling you...

I...

I've asked Emily to come today.

As my...

I hope that's okay.

Of course, darling.

You just have to be happy.

Just...

Just makes sure that she's a good one.

She is. It's me you have to worry about!

Oh, I do.

But, maybe...

Maybe I don't need to any more.

I guess we'd better get this... bridal shit on the road.

_

This is hard for me to say.

It's okay.

I know already.

I've known ever since you...

Since you first told me that...

you wouldn't do it.

You couldn't do it, marry him.

Because it's us, isn't it?

It's always...

... been us.

Despite everything.

- We love each other. - Ted, I...

I had my revenge and now you with all this, younger man,

flaunting him in my face, bringing him...

back to our house.

You've had yours.

Now we're even.

So... we can...

... we can start again.

You and me.

Your revenge for what?

Well, for you leaving me.

I never left you.

Maybe not physically, but you withdrew.

- So it's my fault. - No...

All that matters is...

... it's done with and we can get back to how we were.

What's wrong with you?

What's the phrase?

The past is a foreign country.

Only, for us, it's two wildly different countries.

Truth is that...

And it's hard to admit, but...

I am as guilty as you...

for burying it, for not speaking up for...

My silence has corroded everything.

Now I'm being punished.

What are you talking about?

How we were.

That's what I'm talking about.

What you did to me.

Your violence.

We've never talked about it.

I can't do this.

And I need to... now.

I need to know why.

And that's what I came to say, or to ask...

Not...

The moment just before...

That's the bit that I'm really interested in,

when you go from... from not

doing and holding yourself back, to doing,

I need to understand that moment.

Why?

Because I have to know if...

that ever leaves you, the urge,

or if a person can make a mistake and then...

... change.

So all this... you...

calling me here...

it was never about us.

It was always about him.

There is no "us", Ted!

I need this one thing from you.

You owe me this one thing.

I don't owe you anything.

You ruined my life.

And worse than that,

- our children's lives - Don't, don't you

don't you bring our children into this.

I didn't. You did, when you hit me in front of them.

Once. They saw only once!

And what? That makes all the other times okay?!

The children are fine.

The kids are not fine.

And that is largely due to you.

Everyone has their regrets.

Things that give them sleepless nights.

Mine is that I didn't leave you that night.

That I didn't take those kids and get them far,

far away from you.

You'd never have left me!

I was already packed and then you...!

You made it so that I couldn't.

God, if I had my time again, I'd have left you in there.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, God...

Looks like you gave me your answer after all.

Julia? I'm so glad...

I-I started to worry.

Not... hearing anything,

and I know we're meant to be abiding by tradition and everything,

but I just... I miss you and, er...

I can't wait to marry you.

Julia?

It's over.

She went outside, I told her not...

- I told her not to go outside. - It's fine!

Come with me, darling.

_

I don't know what's happened. I don't know what's been said to you.

I can only imagine that it was one of your sons.

But whatever it is, we can sort it out.

I know that we can.

So please...

please, just call me back and tell me where you are, look...

I can hear you, you know!

- Julia's here, isn't she? - Hi.

- What? - I need to speak to her.

I need to speak to her, Julia.

- Erm... - Julia!

- Julia! It's me. - What is going on?

Julia! I just, I really need to speak to Julia.

- Okay. I need to speak to her. - She's not here, though.

Everything okay, Mum?

- Just give us a sec. - Okay.

Sorry.

What about Ted? Mm?

- What about Ted? - Is he here?

Would you just tell me if he's here or not, please?

No. No, Edward is not here

and I'm not sure I appreciate the implication.

Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?

It's... I really don't know.

Julia is not the type... to get cold feet.

I dunno what I've done.

Maybe you haven't done anything.

The day I was getting married to Clayton,

there was just so much noise, so many people, all with opinions,

I just took myself off.

Not long enough for anyone to notice,

but just long enough to, to remember,

why I was doing it.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Just, just find her.

_

I've been staring at that picture of you.

So young, so serious.

As if, as if I'm expecting not to recognise you.

For there have been some kind of mistake.

Because the Benjamin I know, he would never...

He could never do this.

I thought you were the person that would make up

for all those wasted years.

But everything you are is a lie,

which I'm now realising means everything

we've had is the same.

I thought I'd feel better when I wrote this,

and I would have a moment of peace.

But there is no peace for me now.

I really thought that you, you...

Your letter...

Don't you, don't you ever do that again!

You...

You scared me.

I scared you?

I thought I could leave this time, but...

I can't...

Can't leave, can't stay.

So here I am.

Can you at least look at me?

- What happened? - Can you not touch me?

Who did that?

Does it matter?

Ted.

Ted...

But he...

Why?

Force of habit.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

I don't...

... tell people.

I made myself a promise after...

That I would never be with a violent man again.

I can fix this, Julia, if you, if you let me.

I can fix it. I...

What? So, it's just...

I-I don't even get a conversation.

Well, I can't think what you would possibly say.

Because, because you've made your mind up.

No, the facts made my mind up!

Facts! Facts that you went looking for!

You wanted to find a reason not to marry me.

You think... you think that I've broken your trust?

Well, the truth is...

... you've broken mine, too.

Don't need it now.

You can't just give up on me.

Or you'll what?

Kill me?

Do you know the really sad thing, Benjamin?

The sad thing is that if you had told me,

I might have been able to get past it,

seen it as the actions of a terrified boy,

who just didn't know what his punch

would mean and the lives that it would ruin.

I wanted to tell you.

I wanted to tell you everything.

You have no idea how much.

Instead of a real person...

... I got a construct.

You erased your past.

Your brother.

Your name.

Don't you think that I know that?

Don't you think that I have been terrified every,

every single day since we met that you would find me out?

I am so tired.

Me too.

I need you to do one thing for me, I need you to come with me.

I-I will explain.

I will explain, I promise you.

But I need you to give me one chance...

at making you understand.

My life wasn't...

It hasn't been like your kids' lives.

My mum, she was all... hard edges.

I used to think it was the drugs... bending her out of shape.

But in the end, I really think that it was just her, making...

wrong decisions, ones that we had to live with, you know.

No dad for Kieran, and a... a useless one for me.

And when she died,

Kieran tried so hard to pretend

that everything was normal.

Never letting on to anyone that we were alone.

And all of that, it had to be paid for.

And that became hard, in a way that you could never understand.

He said all we needed was 50 quid.

50 quid and we would be okay for the month,

he asked me to be lookout, so...

So I stood there...

I stood there till I heard...

And there's this man lying there, blood just...

Are you...?

Are you saying it was Kieran?

I'm not, I'm not s-saying.

Then why should I believe you?

You really think that I am capable of killing another person?

I didn't...

But... now...

Yeah.

I do.

Why do I get the feeling this is bad news?

Come in.

I'm really sorry.

I had to.

I told her.

And now I need you to tell her too, so that she believes me.

Please.

You told her.

Told her what?

I did say...

I said that you didn't mean to.

Still...

A man died.

I'm sorry.

But you know what you did?

I mean, it was an accident. He didn't mean to do it.

He's a good man, my brother.

You can't, you can't do this.

You can't ruin my life again.

You tell her it was you!

I wish that I could.

You fucking tell her it was you!

He's lying, I promise you, he's lying!

Kieran!

Please. Please, Kieran. I'm begging you.

You tell her. You tell her what really happened. Please!

Don't you think she's been lied to enough, Sean?

Hey, hey, come here. Cut it out, it's okay.

You've no idea how much I've missed you!

You've no idea how much I've missed my big brother.

I've missed you, too.

Then, why are you trying...

to make it so it's all for nothing?

Because you ruined it.

We swore on Mum's life.

We swore that we wouldn't talk about it.

I can't lose her.

What about me?! What about me?! Eh?

I fucking love you!

You don't...

'Cos if you did, you would tell the truth.

I only hit him once.

I'm sorry...

I'm... I'm s...

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

You let him take the blame.

Your own brother.

Benjamin, I want to go.

No, don't go, please.

Do you want to know why he's with you, love?

It's because you give them all the things that he never had...

money, status...

... and a mother who loved him.

I know what's coming for you, brother,

even if you're too blind to see it.

You're going to be stuck in a world...

that you don't belong.

With a family who will never accept you...

and a pensioner for a wife.

I still don't understand.

Why take the blame?

He was 21, I was 15.

Young Offenders' didn't sound so bad.

But it's your whole life.

Have you ever had a moment where it's just...?

A moment so far beyond what you imagined.

That you're just, you're...

... you're outside of yourself.

Just...

Just doing.

I thought that...

I really thought that I was saving him.

That's what kept me going... in that place.

I thought that he was out there,

making a life for himself.

Then I got out, found him...

He'd ended up just like my mum...

It had all been for nothing.

I had to leave.

I couldn't be Sean White any more, Sean,

Sean White, the boy who killed the shopkeeper.

I needed a second chance.

You're my second chance.

I just want to go home.

- Mum? You okay? - Mum? Where have you been?!

Christ, I was worried, properly worried.

How's about we give your mother some oxygen?

She went missing on her wedding day...

I think we're entitled to feel concerned.

What's going on, Mum?

I just need to be on my own.

I'll... see you at the church?

Hi, guys.

You look great.

See you in a bit.

How much longer would you like to wait?

As long as it takes.

We only have the church until four.

She's coming.

Julia...

I think we can all agree minimum fuss is desirable.

No-one wants a scene.

Least of all, Mum.

This, er, should get you a taxi out of here.

Patrick, don't be crass.

I thought I was being rather generous.

Could you all, could you just give us a moment alone?

We should stay, Mum, in case things get, well, ugly.

What is it that you think is happening?

- You're calling off the wedding. - Finally seeing the light.

Could you just let me speak with Benjamin?!

- Mum, really, we should stay. - I'm not going anywhere.

Do either of you ever listen?

She's asked us to go, so we go.

Marriage isn't something you should go into with any doubts.

It's for life.

You are many things...

The one thing I never thought you were, is a hypocrite.

I know it probably...

doesn't hold much weight any more,

but...

For what it's worth, I'm...

I'm so, so sorry.

I know.

I am, too.

You, you've got nothing to be sorry for.

I let you hide.

Because it... suited me, I just...

swallowed you up into all of my drama,

everything, everything was about me, my kids, my past.

I didn't leave any room for you.

That's...

That's... that's it.

Benjamin...

I don't want my old life.

The one without you in it.

I'm thinking that maybe we skip the bit about...

any objections...

I know you told my mother. If you tell Eimear,

I swear I will kill you.

_

Must be exhausting.

Spending all this time fighting to be something that you're not.

You don't know anything about me.

Good son, good father.

- Good husband. - Shut up, shut the... fuck up!

I didn't write this.

I didn't know.

But now I do.

Are you...?

I can't lose my wife.

My children...

Then, you won't have to.

So long as you stay out of my way.

The first time that I met Julia...

I wanted to look after her...

Like, I can't really explain that...

It was just...

... instinct and a pretty inconvenient one, at that.

And then I realised that she wanted to look after me, too.

I felt... exposed.

And there never did seem to be an option to run away,

which there always had been before.

I know, to a lot of people in this room,

we don't make much sense.

And when I ask why, it comes down to one thing...

our age.

This...

... seemingly yawning chasm of years that separates us.

My answer to that...

nothing can make everything else seem more irrelevant than love.

Hear, hear...

And as for me...

... nobody knows who I am.

What I've done.

All the different faces... that I've set to the world.

To be 100% known is a rare thing.

I don't think many people ever are.

I am, now.

I find that terrifying.

But it is also the best thing that has ever happened to me.

And that's how I know,

I know that despite everything, me and you...

... we're going to be okay.

Aww!

- You want it? - Um...

I know it's not tradition for the bride to speak.

Um...

Come here...

And I'd never have dared before.

And... I think that's the key word here.

Before. Erm...

Most of you know that this is my second marriage.

My first marriage gave me my children...

... who have been in the very best thing in my life.

And this,

this is my after!

And I'm not letting it go.

♪ 99 Decision Street ♪

♪ 99 ministers meet ♪

♪ To worry, worry, super-scurry ♪

♪ Call the troops out in a hurry ♪

♪ This is what we've waited for ♪

♪ This is it, boys, this is war ♪

♪ The president is on the line ♪

♪ As 99 red balloons go by... ♪

What are you doing?

I was invited, if you remember.

I want you to leave right now.

How rude.

And I bought a present and everything.

Look, whatever this is, let's just not, shall we?

I want to talk to Julia, not you.

There it is.

Don't embarrass yourself!

You mean don't embarrass you, Mother.

Don't worry. I don't plan to.

Please, don't do this.

You need to go, right now.

I don't want to put a damper on things,

but I thought you ought to know...

Julia kissed me...

At Christmas, she kissed me.

That's what you think happened?

You did what you always do.

You wanted something and took it.

I'd like you to go.

You heard her.

You can't take everything.

Them...!

And you...

I went years ago.

Don't you, don't you walk away from me again.

Julia.

Julia, you fucking come back here now, Julia!

Please, just calm down. For God's sake, please.

Please.

I don't think we'll be needing these, do you?

I'm not you.

I'll never be you.

Darling, I...

Della...

Leo! Lad...

Who are you?

Time to go home, I think.

What do you want with her?

What do you want with my wife?

My wife.

And I don't want anything,

other than to love her.

Treat her right.

All of the things you failed to do.

You don't know anything about us.

I know what you did to her.

And if you don't leave right now,

I will make sure that everybody knows

what kind of man you really are.

You okay?

Yeah.

I am, actually.

He's gone.

Good.

Would you like to dance, Mr Greene?

Always.

♪ Talking away ♪

♪ I don't know what I'm to say ♪

♪ I'll say it anyway ♪

♪ Today's another day to find you ♪

♪ Shying away ♪

♪ I'll be coming for your love, okay? ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ Take me up ♪

♪ Take on me ♪

♪ I'll be gone ♪

♪ In a day or two... ♪

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com