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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,503
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,438
You know, I keep
having this feeling
3
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,007
I'm forgetting something.
4
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,009
Well, do you have
the night deposit?
5
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:11,343
Yeah, right here.
6
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:14,013
Did you put the extra
cash in the safe?
7
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,681
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
8
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:16,682
I know.
9
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,716
What?
10
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,018
You didn't call the
beer distributor.
11
00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:20,686
No, I asked Woody
to do that.
12
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,554
Ah, all right. I'll,
I'll call him
13
00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:23,689
in the morning, myself.
14
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,557
Oh, oh, wait, wait.
I know what it is.
15
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:26,759
I know what it is.
16
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,932
Good night, Sammy.
17
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,334
See ya in the morning.
18
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,337
(theme song begins)
19
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,943
� Making your way
in the world today �
20
00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:48,113
� Takes everything you've got �
21
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,783
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
22
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:54,253
� Sure would help a lot �
23
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,157
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
24
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,694
� Sometimes you want to go �
25
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:06,198
� Where everybody
knows your name �
26
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:12,004
� And they're always
glad you came �
27
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,872
� You wanna be
where you can see �
28
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,942
� Our troubles
are all the same �
29
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:21,180
� You wanna be where
everybody knows your name �
30
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,416
� You wanna go
where people know �
31
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:27,353
� People are all the same �
32
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:32,358
� You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. �
33
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,411
Interesting
little article here.
34
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,447
It says that the average
human being only uses
35
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,982
17% of his brain.
36
00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,419
Boy. You realize
what that means?
NORM: Mmm?
37
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,022
We don't use a full, uh...
38
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,491
64%.
39
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,161
Some don't use even more.
40
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,431
(laughing)
41
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,767
All right. Who let
Woody read "Ziggy"?
42
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:18,003
(laughing)
43
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,338
You realize he's
gonna be useless
44
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,173
for the next 15 minutes.
45
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,776
(thuds)
46
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,347
Woody, take your break.
47
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,482
(laughing)
48
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,885
Frasier, for
the last time,
49
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,887
are you going to accompany
me and Frederick
50
00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:37,690
to my great-uncle's
birthday celebration or not?
51
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:40,259
Lilith, the man
is going to be 98.
52
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,894
He won't know whether
I'm there or not.
53
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,362
You could introduce
him to a chair.
54
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,899
You'd get the same dim
flicker of recognition.
55
00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,233
Frasier, that is unkind.
56
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,669
My uncle has all his
faculties intact.
57
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,072
Yes. Which explains
why whenever he sees me
58
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,373
he calls me "Colonel"
59
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,476
and breaks into a rousing
chorus of "Over There."
60
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,546
All right, you
don't have to come.
61
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,414
Now, while I'm
away, I need you
62
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,749
to water the plants,
63
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,517
pay the paperboy and
take the garbage out
64
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,986
on Tuesday nights. I've
written it all down for you.
65
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,155
Lilith, you don't have
to treat me like a child.
66
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,991
Of course not, Frasier.
Oh. Please remember--
67
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,593
don't open the door
to strangers.
68
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,663
Lilith.
69
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,331
Well, Frasier, there
is a precedent set.
70
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,935
We lost our stereo that day.
71
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,236
Well, he looked friendly.
72
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,771
He needed to use the phone!
73
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,506
It was 3:00
in the morning, darling.
74
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,375
People have flats at
3:00 in the morning!
75
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,210
He was wearing a ski mask.
76
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,547
I won't open the
door to strangers.
77
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,418
Oh. One other thing.
78
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,553
Mmm, yes. Anything, my angel.
79
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:44,189
Would you stop by the lab and
pick up a short-haired rat--
80
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,325
I.D. number 17-A?
81
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,326
Oh, Whiskers.
82
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,028
Yes. I call him that
83
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,030
because his whiskers
are so pronounced.
84
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,231
Get it?
85
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:55,100
Whiskers-- Whiskers.
86
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,772
Humor is all about making
those connections, darling.
87
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,077
Hey, Mayday!
88
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,345
Hey, Mitch!
89
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,379
Heads up!
90
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,414
Hey, everybody.
91
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:09,481
This is Mitch Ganzell.
92
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:10,916
NORM:
Wow!
93
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,785
We used to pitch
together on the Sox.
94
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,219
Best arm in
baseball.
95
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,321
Want to touch it?
96
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,556
(laughs)
97
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,224
Good to see you, Sam.
Yeah, you, too.
98
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,259
How long's it been?
99
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,428
Oh, I don't know.
What? 14, 15 years.
100
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:23,595
CARLA:
Hey!
101
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,631
It's Ganzell! Hey!
(laughing)
102
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,632
(grunts)
103
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,667
Oh, Carla,
you still got it!
104
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,669
Yeah, and you can
still have it.
105
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:33,672
Sit down.
106
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,207
What are you
doing in town?
107
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,676
Well, I don't know if you've
been keeping track of the Sox
108
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,012
but they're really hurting
for relief pitchers.
109
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,680
Yeah, they got nobody.
I know.
110
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,349
So, I'm thinking of
making a comeback,
111
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,451
try out for the farm team,
work my way back up.
112
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:47,252
(laughing):
No, really, Ganzell.
113
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,754
What is it, family reunion?
114
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,289
I'm serious.
115
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,224
Heck, I'm not
that old.
116
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,360
To be honest with you,
I really miss the game.
117
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,228
Anyway, tryouts
are tomorrow.
118
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,763
I'm goin' for it.
119
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,797
What do you think, Sam?
120
00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,865
Am I really crazy?
121
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,200
No! You're not crazy.
122
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,568
You kiddin' me?
You're fantastic.
123
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,303
If anyone can make
a comeback, it's you.
124
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,304
You were the best.
125
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,638
Excuse me a second.
126
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:09,608
Carla, uh... g-get Mitch
a drink on the house.
127
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,579
Better make it a big
glass of reality.
128
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,982
(laughing)
129
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,984
Sammy!
130
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,019
Sammy, Sammy, Sam?
131
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,954
I thought you said
he was the best!
132
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,289
You kidding me? He sucked.
133
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:28,627
We used to call him
"Mrs. Ganzell."
134
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,131
I was ten times
better than he was,
135
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,399
and he's making a comeback.
136
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:34,667
Can you believe that?
137
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,568
Yeah. You're
right, Sammy.
138
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,203
You should be the one
back in baseball.
139
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,471
Oh...
Yes, sir.
140
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,573
You should be the one
getting back in the game.
141
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,775
Well, I'm not saying I want to,
142
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,176
but I sure as hell
could, you know.
143
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,411
Well, the only
reason I got out
144
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,645
of the game in
the first place
145
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,013
is I was drinking
and all that, you know,
146
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,181
and I'm not
doing that anymore.
147
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,416
I've still got my arm. Hell,
148
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,052
I'm in as good a shape
as I was when I was 18.
149
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,254
Same here.
150
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,158
No, really! I tell you,
Sammy, I can fit
151
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,760
in the same clothes I
wore in high school.
152
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,463
Matter of fact, uh,
153
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,232
if I'm not mistaken,
these are them.
154
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,767
You know-- wait a second here.
155
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,402
This is not
crazy. You know?
156
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,738
I mean, look at Nolan Ryan.
He's what-- 45?
157
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,373
There you go.
He's still
pitching in the majors.
158
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,208
If he can do it,
I can do it.
Sure.
Sure.
159
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,676
What do you guys
think? Seriously.
160
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,312
Well, Sammy, uh, we, we'd
love for you to do it.
161
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:24,883
I mean... well, it'd
give us back our lives.
162
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,719
What do you... what do you mean?
163
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:27,953
Sammy, it's no secret
164
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,555
we've been living
vicariously through you
165
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,190
for the past
several years
166
00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:32,658
and lately, frankly,
167
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,260
it's... gotten
kind of boring.
168
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:37,796
That bad, huh?
CLIFF:
I mean,
169
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:38,897
we've actually
been thinking
170
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,866
about living
vicariously through Phil.
171
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,204
So I get my socks
out of the dryer
172
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:47,673
and one of them's missing.
173
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,142
Hey, guys. Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second. Wait.
174
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,944
Wait, wait. I'm back
in the game, all right?
175
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:52,978
This is all gonna change.
176
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:53,946
NORM:
All right!
All right.
177
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:54,747
Yeah?
Hey!
178
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:55,681
All right.
179
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,349
Thanks, guys.
180
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,218
Oh, brother.
This is terrific.
181
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,419
What?
182
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,388
You want to play
baseball again,
183
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:03,922
fulfill your
little fantasy.
184
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,457
Well, why don't
we all do that?
185
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:09,395
I mean, why don't I go back
to my high school prom? Huh?
186
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,563
Maybe I'd have
a pretty dress.
187
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,933
Maybe I wouldn't
weigh 300 pounds
188
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,803
and be on tetracycline.
189
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,672
Sammy. Don't
listen to her.
190
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,540
You want something,
you have to go for it.
191
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,775
If I didn't
feel that way,
192
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,843
I'd still be sitting way
over there by the piano.
193
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,514
Take it easy, Mayday.
194
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,382
Yeah. Hey. Whoa.
Hold on a sec here, Mitch.
195
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,583
Uh, about those tryouts
196
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,618
you were
talking about.
Yeah.
197
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,253
Are they, uh,
open for anybody?
198
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,621
Oh, sure. Why?
199
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,423
Well, you know, hearing
you talk got me thinking.
200
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:38,457
You know, maybe, uh...
201
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:39,858
maybe I got a
couple of years
202
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:40,859
left in this arm, huh?
203
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:41,860
I mean, what the hell?
204
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,629
If you can do
it, I can do it.
205
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:44,997
(laughing)
Hey, Sammy,
206
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,432
there's a little bit
of difference here.
207
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:47,466
I was a good pitcher.
208
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:48,434
Oh, give me a break.
209
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,835
You stunk it up
out there.
210
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:50,969
Oh, like hell I did.
211
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,638
I was every bit
as good as you.
212
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,139
Oh, give me...
Come on, man!
213
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,675
On your best days you couldn't
get it across the plate.
214
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,010
Well, at least I
could see the plate.
215
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,178
Hey, go to hell!
216
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,212
Oh, you go to hell!
217
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,280
(mutters)
218
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,582
(both laughing)
219
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,517
Whee! Gosh! It's great
to be back in the game.
220
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,519
Listen, if we both make the
team, let's room together.
221
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,154
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
222
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,322
All right.
223
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,523
I'll see you.
224
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,299
Well, Whiskers,
this is Cheers.
225
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,402
Cheers, this is Whiskers.
226
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:26,872
So, uh, Doc...
227
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,742
living the old carefree
bachelor life, huh?
228
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,176
(laughs) Yeah.
229
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,644
Yeah, I betcha
with your wife away,
230
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,646
if you wanted to,
you could, uh...
231
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,648
do a little, uh...
swinging, eh?
232
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:41,320
Yes. There's nothing young
women find more attractive
233
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:44,890
than a middle-aged man
with a rat in a cage.
234
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,325
I hear you, Doc.
235
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,193
Yeah.
236
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,698
So, uh, has Sam returned
from his tryout yet?
237
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,333
Oh, he should be
back anytime now.
238
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,467
I'm telling you guys,
239
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,703
he's setting himself up
to be disappointed.
240
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,639
He's going to walk in here
feeling like a big loser.
241
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,609
What makes you think Sam's
as big a loser as you are?
242
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,278
Excuse me, Carla,
but I did not say
243
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,647
that he was as big
a loser as I am.
244
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,352
I am merely trying to point out
the fact that he's older,
245
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,788
and there are better,
faster, younger players.
246
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,823
Yeah, well I think that
you're gonna be surprised,
247
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,058
'cause Sam's gonna
make this team.
248
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,225
Right, guys?
249
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,795
Right, of course--
he's Mayday Malone.
250
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,763
Yeah, but, uh, hold on there,
Normie, what if he doesn't?
251
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,065
Thought about that?
252
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,133
A thing like that can
really hit a guy hard.
253
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,769
Yeah, he'll probably,
uh, storm back in here,
254
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,271
go in the office
and lock himself in
255
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,640
and, uh, maybe start taking
inventory of his life,
256
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,208
peruse over
the setbacks,
257
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,876
the humiliations,
the wrong turns,
258
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,112
and all the while
fashioning his belt
259
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,380
into a makeshift noose.
260
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,048
I mean, we've all done
it a hundred times.
261
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,185
You okay, Cliff?
262
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,619
What are you
asking me for?
263
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:48,787
Sam's the one
with the problem.
264
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,424
Hello, Miss Howe.
You know, with, uh,
265
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,193
Sam on the road
playing pro ball,
266
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,527
I guess it's between
you and me
267
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,962
as to who gets
to run the bar.
268
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,630
Of course, the only
experience I have
269
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,266
is that I've been
the assistant bartender here
270
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,968
for the past six years.
271
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,305
Well, I will let my
record speak for itself.
272
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,407
Yes!
273
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,242
Hey, wait
a minute.
274
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,443
Wait a minute!
275
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,811
Carla's been here
the longest.
276
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,313
If anyone should take
over, it's Carla.
277
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,514
Oh, no, no, no,
not me.
278
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:16,648
I'm the kind of person
279
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,283
that doesn't like
responsibility.
280
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,252
What are you talking about?
You have eight children.
281
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,588
Well, I wouldn't
if I were responsible.
282
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,624
Well, I'd love
to stick around
283
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,092
and see how things
turned out for Sam,
284
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,328
but it's time Whiskers
and I hit the road.
285
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,497
Oh, Dr. Crane, before you
go, can I see him first?
286
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,498
I love rats.
287
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,133
We used to have
a lot of them
288
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,501
on the farm back
in Hanover.
289
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,902
Kept the barn
free of cats.
290
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:43,308
Woody, meet Whiskers.
291
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,144
Oh, my God, he's gone!
292
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,147
Wow, that's a neat
trick, Dr. Crane.
293
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,451
Now do it with a bunny.
No!
294
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,586
Oh, no, Woody, you've
got to help me find him!
295
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,455
If Lilith comes back
and I haven't got Whiskers,
296
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,690
I'm dead meat!
297
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,124
You know, Dr. Crane,
once, back in Hanover,
298
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,292
I wanted to catch some rats
299
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,694
and I started
playing a flute
300
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,362
and a bunch of them
followed me out of town.
301
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,832
And some children, too.
302
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,268
Oh, wait, was that a movie?
303
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,871
No, no, it happened.
304
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,108
Whiskers!
305
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,743
Here, Whiskers!
Whiskers!
306
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,211
You know,
there's a lot
307
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,246
of misunderstanding
about rats...
308
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,082
or Rodendus vermicitis,
309
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,683
as they're called
in Latin.
310
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,185
It turns out
311
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,354
our long-tailed friend
wasn't, after all, responsible
312
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,621
for the dreaded
bubonic plague
313
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,756
as alleged
through history.
314
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,424
No, sir.
315
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,194
It's caused by an animal
called the bubon.
316
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,062
That's right.
317
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,365
And the threat,
by the way, is still with us.
318
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,836
So if anybody does see a bubon
contact your local authorities.
319
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,939
How about if we just see
a boob?
320
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:54,213
Hey, guys, you're looking
at the two newest members
321
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,914
of the Red Sox farm team.
322
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,218
(all cheering)
323
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,253
Who says you can't
go home again, huh?
324
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,188
That would be
Vera, Sammy.
325
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,890
Congratulations, Sammy.
326
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,658
We all knew you
could do it.
327
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,427
Yeah.
Hey, hey, buddy.
328
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,429
Let me have some water there,
will ya?
329
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,531
Hey, you were great
out there.
330
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,500
Oh, you, too.
You were fantastic.
331
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,705
Whiskers!
332
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,073
Come on, Sam, we're late
for our appointment
333
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,174
with the team doctor.
334
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,642
Right behind you,
Mitch.
335
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,044
We are gonna
336
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,413
put the Red Sox
back on the map, I'm tellin' ya.
337
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,414
(screams)
338
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:32,217
(grunting)
339
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,187
Oh, my arm, my arm!
340
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,290
My arm! My arm!
341
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,291
Relax, I'm a doctor.
342
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,893
Just remain still.
343
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,629
Try not to move.
Now tell me exactly
what happened.
344
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:46,265
I saw a rat and I
fell down the stairs.
345
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,266
A rat?!
346
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,002
Where?! Whiskers!
Whiskers!
347
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,448
Hey, Wood, what's in the mail?
348
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:06,852
Oh, just the usual. A couple
subpoenas from that Mitch guy.
349
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,390
Oh, hey, it's a postcard
from Sam.
350
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,025
All right.
Oh, read it.
351
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,227
"Greetings from New Britain,
Connecticut,
352
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,396
home of Shade Leaf Tobacco
and Carions."
353
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,698
No, read what Sam wrote.
354
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,600
That is what Sam wrote.
355
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,769
Boy, oh, boy,
356
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,839
the thought of Sammy
out there on the mound
chucking 'em down.
357
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:27,940
Yeah.
358
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,608
What I wouldn't give
to see that, huh?
359
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,411
No, it's only
a $30 train ride.
360
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,880
Well, that's what
I wouldn't give.
361
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,153
Well, I finally resigned
myself to it.
362
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,654
We've tried
everything.
363
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,223
There's no way
we're gonna find Whiskers.
364
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,760
A priceless, highly-trained
laboratory animal;
365
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,563
virtually irreplaceable,
so I went by the pet store
366
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,033
and dropped 99 cents
on this guy here.
367
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,069
Well, what the hell?
368
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,938
They were gonna feed him
to the boa constrictor anyway.
369
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,774
What's all this other stuff?
370
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,109
Oh, I snuck this out
of the laboratory.
371
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,577
See, I've got exactly
48 hours
372
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,514
to teach this guy here
everything that his
predecessor knew.
373
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,915
How are you gonna do that?
374
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,617
Well, if-if you would,
Rebecca...
375
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:16,155
with a series of mazes and
other such similar devices.
376
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:19,858
You see, lower forms of
intelligence can be trained
377
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:22,728
to perform simple actions
by rewarding them with food
378
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,364
when they perform correctly,
or punishing them
379
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,334
with electrical shocks
when they perform incorrectly.
380
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,302
Hey, look at that, Norm,
381
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,671
I pushed down a lever,
got a nut.
382
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:39,178
Hey!
I got a shock!
383
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,714
I got another nut.
384
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,216
Ow! Hey!
385
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,152
A shock!
386
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,254
Oh, wait a minute. Let me
push your lever down.
387
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,856
Hey!
388
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,259
I got a shock, too!
389
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,195
Oh! That's a mean
little sucker!
390
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,897
Ah, one of these times
it's bound to give us a nut.
391
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,733
Ow!
392
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,074
Here comes Paul.
393
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,509
Huh? Oh. Hey, hey, Paul.
394
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,477
Paul.
Huh?
395
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,112
Listen, uh, do me
a favor, will you?
396
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,014
Will you, uh, press
one of those levers there
397
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,315
and see what
happens, will ya?
398
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,684
It isn't some kind of trick
or something, is it?
399
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,386
Oh!
What?
400
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,390
Hey, I got a peanut.
Thanks, guys.
401
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,096
Which, uh, lever did he press?
402
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,065
I thought you
were watching.
403
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,868
Aw, it's probably...
404
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,103
Ah!
405
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,072
Frasier, I'm home.
406
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,440
Darling!
407
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,308
Look, Whiskers, it's Mommy.
408
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,543
Oh.
409
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,644
Look, hon, it's Whiskers.
410
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,279
You brought him
to the bar?
Well, yes.
411
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,282
I didn't want to let
him out of my sight
for a single minute.
412
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,051
I mean, you entrusted
me with his care,
413
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,619
and I took that trust
very seriously.
414
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:55,954
That's not Whiskers.
415
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,623
Of course it is.
416
00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:58,624
No, it isn't.
417
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:01,326
Yes, it is. Have you
gone mad, woman?
418
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,129
I'm telling you, I swear
to you that this, this
rat is Whiskers!
419
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,799
My Whiskers was clever
and bright-eyed.
420
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,901
This rat is sluggish
and slow.
421
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,469
Well, he missed you.
422
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,708
I missed you. I'm...
sluggish and slow, too.
423
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,779
Also, Whiskers responds
to the sound of my voice.
424
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,582
This specimen shows no sign
of recognition whatsoever.
425
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:27,052
Whiskers?
Whiskers?
426
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,721
See? No response.
427
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,656
Where's my rat, Frasier?
428
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,491
Lilith,
429
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,259
as a scientist and
as your husband,
430
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,762
I swear to you that
this rat is Whiskers.
431
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,630
And I must tell you
I'm a little hurt
432
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,866
by your accusation that
I might try to fool you.
433
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,335
I look you straight in the
eye and I swear to you
434
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,503
that this rat here is...
435
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,242
He's on my shoulder,
isn't he?
436
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,111
Come here, Whiskers.
437
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,747
Surprise! I got
Whiskers a mate!
438
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,551
Oh, you lucky rat. Oh!
439
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,521
Now he has female
companionship.
440
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,124
Do I have female companionship?
441
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,292
Not for a long, long time.
442
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,030
Nice going, mister.
443
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:15,100
Let's see if you're as sluggish
in the snake cage.
444
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,244
MAN:
Great game, Sam!
You still got that arm!
445
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,245
(people cheering)
446
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,013
Thanks, fellas!
447
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,648
I was pretty good, wasn't I?
448
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,917
Oh, man.
449
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,487
(mutters)
450
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,257
Oh, God!
451
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,224
(knocking at door)
452
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,026
Oh!
Sammy?
453
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:42,061
Oh, hey.
454
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,163
Aah! Hey-hey!
455
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,164
Hey!
Carla, huh?
456
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,432
What are you doing here?
457
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,767
Ah, I came down
to see the game.
You were great!
458
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,369
Yeah, I was kind of good,
wasn't I?
459
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,670
Yeah.
460
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,072
Who's taking care
of the bar?
461
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,473
Rebecca.
Oh, my God!
462
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,408
Aw, I was just kidding.
No one.
463
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,077
Ah, ah.
464
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,480
You scared me there
for a second.
465
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,082
Oh, Sammy, I...
seeing you up there...
466
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,083
Yeah?
467
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,084
...it was so inspiring!
468
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,152
I mean, you're better than ever.
469
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,420
Thank you.
You know,
470
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,522
everybody at the bar
is just so proud of you!
471
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,458
Look at you.
472
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,459
You look great!
473
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,860
You're pitching terrific!
474
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,829
Yeah, I was kind of good
out there, wasn't I?
475
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,830
Yeah!
476
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,799
Hey, Monday, how's it going?
477
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,802
Fine. Fine, Slim.
478
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,171
Actually, it's Mayday, Slim.
479
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,373
Mayday.
Yeah, uh...
480
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,941
Kid around a lot...
481
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,209
That's my friend
Carla Tortelli.
482
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,210
My roommate Slim.
483
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,244
Hey.
Nice to meet you.
484
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,312
You, too, Slim.
485
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,913
Say, by the way,
bunch of us are
486
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,548
going out for beer
and pizza, you know,
487
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,050
get a little wild,
do a little partying?
488
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,385
You interested?
489
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,821
Oh, thanks, but I'm here
to visit my friend Sammy.
490
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,990
Sam, you got another clean shirt
I can borrow?
491
00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:46,358
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
492
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:50,262
Not that one.
Naw, go ahead.
493
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,363
Holy cow!
494
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,332
Feel free to get undressed
in front of me.
495
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,600
Oh, I'm sorry.
496
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,935
Oh, no, I mean, holy cow,
497
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,971
feel free to get undressed
in front of me.
498
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,642
Hey, Sammy! Great game, baby!
499
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:04,977
(chuckling)
500
00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:07,346
Whoo!
501
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,781
Oh, here we go,
here we go!
502
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,216
Whoo! All right, fellas!
Whoa! Whoa!
503
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,618
Oh, gotcha, gotcha!
504
00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:15,487
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
505
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,057
Time out! Time out!
506
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:20,626
(all laughing)
507
00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:22,528
Catch ya later, Midday!
508
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,496
Mayday.
It's actually... it's Mayday!
509
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,331
(laughs)
510
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,700
Oh, you guys, man!
511
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:31,070
I'll catch up
with you clowns later!
512
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,972
Oh, they seem
like a fun bunch,
huh, Sam?
513
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,607
Oh, they're
the best, yeah.
514
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,309
That's, that's baseball.
515
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,911
That's what it's all about.
516
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,879
And God, I hate it so much.
517
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,451
Get me out of here, Carla,
please!
518
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,518
What are you
talking about?
519
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,020
Who am I kidding?
I hate this!
520
00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:49,588
I mean, they,
they throw pillows!
521
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,256
They snap their towels!
522
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,026
And that's not funny.
That's just dangerous.
523
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:59,565
Did you see that one guy
pat my butt?
524
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:00,799
I mean, that's not right.
525
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,071
Come on. Hey, Sammy,
lighten up!
526
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,773
Hey, hey, cut it out,
will you?
527
00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:09,942
This thing's got zippers!
528
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,144
What is wrong with you?!
529
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,846
Nothing's wrong with me, Carla.
I'm fine.
530
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:18,283
It's just... I don't think
I like baseball anymore.
531
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,519
You know, it's a,
it's a kids' game now.
532
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,087
And I'm not a kid anymore.
533
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:27,159
You know, I thought
it was gonna be
like old times.
534
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,460
You know, that's the problem.
535
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,462
It, it was exactly
like old times.
536
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,231
You know, I've done
all this stuff before.
537
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:34,133
It's just not me.
538
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,835
Maybe you should give it
a little more time, Sammy.
539
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,971
I mean, you've only been here
a few weeks.
540
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:40,406
Hey, look, you can't quit now.
541
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,607
I'm not gonna let ya!
542
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:42,975
Come on, Carla.
543
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:45,377
You've supported me
in all my other decisions,
544
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,312
except for maybe
545
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,214
you know, going out
with Diane...
546
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:53,285
And selling the bar
and hiring Rebecca, and...
547
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:57,322
you know, deciding
to have a kid with
her and everything.
548
00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,726
What the hell kind of friend
are you, anyway?
549
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:04,596
Oh, Sammy, even though I
really think you quitting
550
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,599
is a bonehead decision,
I want you to be happy.
551
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,703
Come on. Let's pack your bags
and I'll drive you home.
552
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,404
I, I don't have anything
to pack.
553
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,474
The guys borrowed all my
clothes, even my underwear.
554
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,910
Let's just get
out of here, okay?
555
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,646
If you're really, really sure.
556
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:23,682
We just don't have anything
in common.
557
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,884
It's not like I can ask them
to grow up,
558
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,220
any more than I can,
well, stay a kid.
559
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,521
You know what I mean?
560
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,924
Oh, God.
Here we go.
561
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,294
Hey, Sammy.
562
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,995
Hey, Slim.
563
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:39,365
I thought you guys were gonna go
barhopping, huh?
564
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:42,501
We figured we should
spend a night in.
565
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:43,736
Really?
566
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,004
Yeah.
567
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:46,772
After all, we're
in training, right?
568
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,143
You mean, you guys just want
to sit around and talk
569
00:21:51,211 --> 00:21:53,379
and maybe watch a little TV
and hang out?
570
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,647
Well, sure, if, uh,
that's okay with you.
571
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,518
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Yeah.
572
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:02,121
Yeah, we thought we'd just come
back to the room,
573
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,857
relax and maybe...
574
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:05,858
pants the new guy.
575
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:06,925
(raucous shouting)
576
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:10,029
Hey! Hey! Oh! Oh! Hey!
Hey! Cool it! Cool it!
577
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,097
Cool it. Game's over, you guys.
578
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,399
Aw...
579
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,535
Go on and take a break
and just leave Sammy alone.
580
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:18,370
Yeah.
581
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,474
Come on, Sammy.
Let's get you out of here.
582
00:22:26,046 --> 00:22:27,079
Sorry, guys.
583
00:22:27,147 --> 00:22:29,214
I'll see you
around, huh?
584
00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:31,383
Sam, just go wait in
the car for a minute.
585
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:33,152
I've got to give
these guys what for.
586
00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,323
You know, you guys,
you just chased
587
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:40,526
one of the great ballplayers
out of the game.
588
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,629
I just got one thing
to say to you...
589
00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:45,297
pants Slim!
590
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:46,632
(raucous shouting)
591
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,534
Hey, hey, save some for me!
55089
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