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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,503 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,438 You know, I keep having this feeling 3 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,007 I'm forgetting something. 4 00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,009 Well, do you have the night deposit? 5 00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:11,343 Yeah, right here. 6 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:14,013 Did you put the extra cash in the safe? 7 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,681 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 8 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:16,682 I know. 9 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,716 What? 10 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,018 You didn't call the beer distributor. 11 00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:20,686 No, I asked Woody to do that. 12 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,554 Ah, all right. I'll, I'll call him 13 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:23,689 in the morning, myself. 14 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,557 Oh, oh, wait, wait. I know what it is. 15 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:26,759 I know what it is. 16 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,932 Good night, Sammy. 17 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,334 See ya in the morning. 18 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,337 (theme song begins) 19 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,943 � Making your way in the world today � 20 00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:48,113 � Takes everything you've got � 21 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,783 � Taking a break from all your worries � 22 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:54,253 � Sure would help a lot � 23 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,157 � Wouldn't you like to get away? � 24 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,694 � Sometimes you want to go � 25 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:06,198 � Where everybody knows your name � 26 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:12,004 � And they're always glad you came � 27 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,872 � You wanna be where you can see � 28 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,942 � Our troubles are all the same � 29 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:21,180 � You wanna be where everybody knows your name � 30 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,416 � You wanna go where people know � 31 00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:27,353 � People are all the same � 32 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:32,358 � You wanna go where everybody knows your name. � 33 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,411 Interesting little article here. 34 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,447 It says that the average human being only uses 35 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,982 17% of his brain. 36 00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,419 Boy. You realize what that means? NORM: Mmm? 37 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,022 We don't use a full, uh... 38 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,491 64%. 39 00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:09,161 Some don't use even more. 40 00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,431 (laughing) 41 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,767 All right. Who let Woody read "Ziggy"? 42 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:18,003 (laughing) 43 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,338 You realize he's gonna be useless 44 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,173 for the next 15 minutes. 45 00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,776 (thuds) 46 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,347 Woody, take your break. 47 00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,482 (laughing) 48 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,885 Frasier, for the last time, 49 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,887 are you going to accompany me and Frederick 50 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:37,690 to my great-uncle's birthday celebration or not? 51 00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:40,259 Lilith, the man is going to be 98. 52 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,894 He won't know whether I'm there or not. 53 00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,362 You could introduce him to a chair. 54 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,899 You'd get the same dim flicker of recognition. 55 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,233 Frasier, that is unkind. 56 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,669 My uncle has all his faculties intact. 57 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,072 Yes. Which explains why whenever he sees me 58 00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,373 he calls me "Colonel" 59 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,476 and breaks into a rousing chorus of "Over There." 60 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,546 All right, you don't have to come. 61 00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,414 Now, while I'm away, I need you 62 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,749 to water the plants, 63 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,517 pay the paperboy and take the garbage out 64 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,986 on Tuesday nights. I've written it all down for you. 65 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,155 Lilith, you don't have to treat me like a child. 66 00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,991 Of course not, Frasier. Oh. Please remember-- 67 00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,593 don't open the door to strangers. 68 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,663 Lilith. 69 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,331 Well, Frasier, there is a precedent set. 70 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,935 We lost our stereo that day. 71 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,236 Well, he looked friendly. 72 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,771 He needed to use the phone! 73 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,506 It was 3:00 in the morning, darling. 74 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,375 People have flats at 3:00 in the morning! 75 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,210 He was wearing a ski mask. 76 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,547 I won't open the door to strangers. 77 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,418 Oh. One other thing. 78 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,553 Mmm, yes. Anything, my angel. 79 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:44,189 Would you stop by the lab and pick up a short-haired rat-- 80 00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,325 I.D. number 17-A? 81 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,326 Oh, Whiskers. 82 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,028 Yes. I call him that 83 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,030 because his whiskers are so pronounced. 84 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,231 Get it? 85 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:55,100 Whiskers-- Whiskers. 86 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,772 Humor is all about making those connections, darling. 87 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,077 Hey, Mayday! 88 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,345 Hey, Mitch! 89 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,379 Heads up! 90 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,414 Hey, everybody. 91 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:09,481 This is Mitch Ganzell. 92 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:10,916 NORM: Wow! 93 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,785 We used to pitch together on the Sox. 94 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,219 Best arm in baseball. 95 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,321 Want to touch it? 96 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,556 (laughs) 97 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,224 Good to see you, Sam. Yeah, you, too. 98 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,259 How long's it been? 99 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,428 Oh, I don't know. What? 14, 15 years. 100 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:23,595 CARLA: Hey! 101 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,631 It's Ganzell! Hey! (laughing) 102 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,632 (grunts) 103 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,667 Oh, Carla, you still got it! 104 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,669 Yeah, and you can still have it. 105 00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:33,672 Sit down. 106 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,207 What are you doing in town? 107 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,676 Well, I don't know if you've been keeping track of the Sox 108 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,012 but they're really hurting for relief pitchers. 109 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,680 Yeah, they got nobody. I know. 110 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,349 So, I'm thinking of making a comeback, 111 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,451 try out for the farm team, work my way back up. 112 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:47,252 (laughing): No, really, Ganzell. 113 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,754 What is it, family reunion? 114 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,289 I'm serious. 115 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,224 Heck, I'm not that old. 116 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,360 To be honest with you, I really miss the game. 117 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,228 Anyway, tryouts are tomorrow. 118 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,763 I'm goin' for it. 119 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,797 What do you think, Sam? 120 00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,865 Am I really crazy? 121 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,200 No! You're not crazy. 122 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,568 You kiddin' me? You're fantastic. 123 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,303 If anyone can make a comeback, it's you. 124 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,304 You were the best. 125 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,638 Excuse me a second. 126 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:09,608 Carla, uh... g-get Mitch a drink on the house. 127 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,579 Better make it a big glass of reality. 128 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,982 (laughing) 129 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,984 Sammy! 130 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,019 Sammy, Sammy, Sam? 131 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,954 I thought you said he was the best! 132 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,289 You kidding me? He sucked. 133 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:28,627 We used to call him "Mrs. Ganzell." 134 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,131 I was ten times better than he was, 135 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,399 and he's making a comeback. 136 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:34,667 Can you believe that? 137 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,568 Yeah. You're right, Sammy. 138 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,203 You should be the one back in baseball. 139 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,471 Oh... Yes, sir. 140 00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,573 You should be the one getting back in the game. 141 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,775 Well, I'm not saying I want to, 142 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,176 but I sure as hell could, you know. 143 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,411 Well, the only reason I got out 144 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,645 of the game in the first place 145 00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,013 is I was drinking and all that, you know, 146 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,181 and I'm not doing that anymore. 147 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,416 I've still got my arm. Hell, 148 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,052 I'm in as good a shape as I was when I was 18. 149 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,254 Same here. 150 00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,158 No, really! I tell you, Sammy, I can fit 151 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,760 in the same clothes I wore in high school. 152 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,463 Matter of fact, uh, 153 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,232 if I'm not mistaken, these are them. 154 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,767 You know-- wait a second here. 155 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,402 This is not crazy. You know? 156 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,738 I mean, look at Nolan Ryan. He's what-- 45? 157 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,373 There you go. He's still pitching in the majors. 158 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,208 If he can do it, I can do it. Sure. Sure. 159 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,676 What do you guys think? Seriously. 160 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,312 Well, Sammy, uh, we, we'd love for you to do it. 161 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:24,883 I mean... well, it'd give us back our lives. 162 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,719 What do you... what do you mean? 163 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:27,953 Sammy, it's no secret 164 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,555 we've been living vicariously through you 165 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,190 for the past several years 166 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:32,658 and lately, frankly, 167 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,260 it's... gotten kind of boring. 168 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:37,796 That bad, huh? CLIFF: I mean, 169 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:38,897 we've actually been thinking 170 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,866 about living vicariously through Phil. 171 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,204 So I get my socks out of the dryer 172 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:47,673 and one of them's missing. 173 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,142 Hey, guys. Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. Wait. 174 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,944 Wait, wait. I'm back in the game, all right? 175 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:52,978 This is all gonna change. 176 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:53,946 NORM: All right! All right. 177 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:54,747 Yeah? Hey! 178 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:55,681 All right. 179 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,349 Thanks, guys. 180 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,218 Oh, brother. This is terrific. 181 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,419 What? 182 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,388 You want to play baseball again, 183 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:03,922 fulfill your little fantasy. 184 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,457 Well, why don't we all do that? 185 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:09,395 I mean, why don't I go back to my high school prom? Huh? 186 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,563 Maybe I'd have a pretty dress. 187 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,933 Maybe I wouldn't weigh 300 pounds 188 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,803 and be on tetracycline. 189 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,672 Sammy. Don't listen to her. 190 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,540 You want something, you have to go for it. 191 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,775 If I didn't feel that way, 192 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,843 I'd still be sitting way over there by the piano. 193 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,514 Take it easy, Mayday. 194 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,382 Yeah. Hey. Whoa. Hold on a sec here, Mitch. 195 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,583 Uh, about those tryouts 196 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,618 you were talking about. Yeah. 197 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,253 Are they, uh, open for anybody? 198 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,621 Oh, sure. Why? 199 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,423 Well, you know, hearing you talk got me thinking. 200 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:38,457 You know, maybe, uh... 201 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:39,858 maybe I got a couple of years 202 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:40,859 left in this arm, huh? 203 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:41,860 I mean, what the hell? 204 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,629 If you can do it, I can do it. 205 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:44,997 (laughing) Hey, Sammy, 206 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,432 there's a little bit of difference here. 207 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:47,466 I was a good pitcher. 208 00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:48,434 Oh, give me a break. 209 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,835 You stunk it up out there. 210 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:50,969 Oh, like hell I did. 211 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,638 I was every bit as good as you. 212 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,139 Oh, give me... Come on, man! 213 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,675 On your best days you couldn't get it across the plate. 214 00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,010 Well, at least I could see the plate. 215 00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,178 Hey, go to hell! 216 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,212 Oh, you go to hell! 217 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,280 (mutters) 218 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,582 (both laughing) 219 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,517 Whee! Gosh! It's great to be back in the game. 220 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,519 Listen, if we both make the team, let's room together. 221 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,154 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! 222 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,322 All right. 223 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,523 I'll see you. 224 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,299 Well, Whiskers, this is Cheers. 225 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,402 Cheers, this is Whiskers. 226 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:26,872 So, uh, Doc... 227 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,742 living the old carefree bachelor life, huh? 228 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,176 (laughs) Yeah. 229 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,644 Yeah, I betcha with your wife away, 230 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,646 if you wanted to, you could, uh... 231 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,648 do a little, uh... swinging, eh? 232 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:41,320 Yes. There's nothing young women find more attractive 233 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:44,890 than a middle-aged man with a rat in a cage. 234 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,325 I hear you, Doc. 235 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,193 Yeah. 236 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,698 So, uh, has Sam returned from his tryout yet? 237 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,333 Oh, he should be back anytime now. 238 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,467 I'm telling you guys, 239 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,703 he's setting himself up to be disappointed. 240 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,639 He's going to walk in here feeling like a big loser. 241 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,609 What makes you think Sam's as big a loser as you are? 242 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,278 Excuse me, Carla, but I did not say 243 00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,647 that he was as big a loser as I am. 244 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,352 I am merely trying to point out the fact that he's older, 245 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,788 and there are better, faster, younger players. 246 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,823 Yeah, well I think that you're gonna be surprised, 247 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,058 'cause Sam's gonna make this team. 248 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,225 Right, guys? 249 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,795 Right, of course-- he's Mayday Malone. 250 00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,763 Yeah, but, uh, hold on there, Normie, what if he doesn't? 251 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,065 Thought about that? 252 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,133 A thing like that can really hit a guy hard. 253 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,769 Yeah, he'll probably, uh, storm back in here, 254 00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,271 go in the office and lock himself in 255 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,640 and, uh, maybe start taking inventory of his life, 256 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,208 peruse over the setbacks, 257 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,876 the humiliations, the wrong turns, 258 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,112 and all the while fashioning his belt 259 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,380 into a makeshift noose. 260 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,048 I mean, we've all done it a hundred times. 261 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,185 You okay, Cliff? 262 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,619 What are you asking me for? 263 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:48,787 Sam's the one with the problem. 264 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,424 Hello, Miss Howe. You know, with, uh, 265 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,193 Sam on the road playing pro ball, 266 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,527 I guess it's between you and me 267 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,962 as to who gets to run the bar. 268 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,630 Of course, the only experience I have 269 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,266 is that I've been the assistant bartender here 270 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,968 for the past six years. 271 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,305 Well, I will let my record speak for itself. 272 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,407 Yes! 273 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,242 Hey, wait a minute. 274 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,443 Wait a minute! 275 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,811 Carla's been here the longest. 276 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,313 If anyone should take over, it's Carla. 277 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,514 Oh, no, no, no, not me. 278 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:16,648 I'm the kind of person 279 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,283 that doesn't like responsibility. 280 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,252 What are you talking about? You have eight children. 281 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,588 Well, I wouldn't if I were responsible. 282 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,624 Well, I'd love to stick around 283 00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,092 and see how things turned out for Sam, 284 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,328 but it's time Whiskers and I hit the road. 285 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,497 Oh, Dr. Crane, before you go, can I see him first? 286 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,498 I love rats. 287 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,133 We used to have a lot of them 288 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,501 on the farm back in Hanover. 289 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,902 Kept the barn free of cats. 290 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:43,308 Woody, meet Whiskers. 291 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,144 Oh, my God, he's gone! 292 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,147 Wow, that's a neat trick, Dr. Crane. 293 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,451 Now do it with a bunny. No! 294 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,586 Oh, no, Woody, you've got to help me find him! 295 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,455 If Lilith comes back and I haven't got Whiskers, 296 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,690 I'm dead meat! 297 00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,124 You know, Dr. Crane, once, back in Hanover, 298 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,292 I wanted to catch some rats 299 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,694 and I started playing a flute 300 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,362 and a bunch of them followed me out of town. 301 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,832 And some children, too. 302 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,268 Oh, wait, was that a movie? 303 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,871 No, no, it happened. 304 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,108 Whiskers! 305 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,743 Here, Whiskers! Whiskers! 306 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,211 You know, there's a lot 307 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,246 of misunderstanding about rats... 308 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,082 or Rodendus vermicitis, 309 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,683 as they're called in Latin. 310 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,185 It turns out 311 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,354 our long-tailed friend wasn't, after all, responsible 312 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,621 for the dreaded bubonic plague 313 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,756 as alleged through history. 314 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,424 No, sir. 315 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,194 It's caused by an animal called the bubon. 316 00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,062 That's right. 317 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,365 And the threat, by the way, is still with us. 318 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,836 So if anybody does see a bubon contact your local authorities. 319 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,939 How about if we just see a boob? 320 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:54,213 Hey, guys, you're looking at the two newest members 321 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,914 of the Red Sox farm team. 322 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,218 (all cheering) 323 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,253 Who says you can't go home again, huh? 324 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,188 That would be Vera, Sammy. 325 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,890 Congratulations, Sammy. 326 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,658 We all knew you could do it. 327 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,427 Yeah. Hey, hey, buddy. 328 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,429 Let me have some water there, will ya? 329 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,531 Hey, you were great out there. 330 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,500 Oh, you, too. You were fantastic. 331 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,705 Whiskers! 332 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,073 Come on, Sam, we're late for our appointment 333 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,174 with the team doctor. 334 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,642 Right behind you, Mitch. 335 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,044 We are gonna 336 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,413 put the Red Sox back on the map, I'm tellin' ya. 337 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,414 (screams) 338 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:32,217 (grunting) 339 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,187 Oh, my arm, my arm! 340 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,290 My arm! My arm! 341 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,291 Relax, I'm a doctor. 342 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,893 Just remain still. 343 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,629 Try not to move. Now tell me exactly what happened. 344 00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:46,265 I saw a rat and I fell down the stairs. 345 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,266 A rat?! 346 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,002 Where?! Whiskers! Whiskers! 347 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,448 Hey, Wood, what's in the mail? 348 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:06,852 Oh, just the usual. A couple subpoenas from that Mitch guy. 349 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,390 Oh, hey, it's a postcard from Sam. 350 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,025 All right. Oh, read it. 351 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,227 "Greetings from New Britain, Connecticut, 352 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,396 home of Shade Leaf Tobacco and Carions." 353 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,698 No, read what Sam wrote. 354 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,600 That is what Sam wrote. 355 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,769 Boy, oh, boy, 356 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,839 the thought of Sammy out there on the mound chucking 'em down. 357 00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:27,940 Yeah. 358 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,608 What I wouldn't give to see that, huh? 359 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,411 No, it's only a $30 train ride. 360 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,880 Well, that's what I wouldn't give. 361 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,153 Well, I finally resigned myself to it. 362 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,654 We've tried everything. 363 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,223 There's no way we're gonna find Whiskers. 364 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,760 A priceless, highly-trained laboratory animal; 365 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,563 virtually irreplaceable, so I went by the pet store 366 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,033 and dropped 99 cents on this guy here. 367 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,069 Well, what the hell? 368 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,938 They were gonna feed him to the boa constrictor anyway. 369 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,774 What's all this other stuff? 370 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,109 Oh, I snuck this out of the laboratory. 371 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,577 See, I've got exactly 48 hours 372 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,514 to teach this guy here everything that his predecessor knew. 373 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,915 How are you gonna do that? 374 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,617 Well, if-if you would, Rebecca... 375 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:16,155 with a series of mazes and other such similar devices. 376 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:19,858 You see, lower forms of intelligence can be trained 377 00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:22,728 to perform simple actions by rewarding them with food 378 00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,364 when they perform correctly, or punishing them 379 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,334 with electrical shocks when they perform incorrectly. 380 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,302 Hey, look at that, Norm, 381 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,671 I pushed down a lever, got a nut. 382 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:39,178 Hey! I got a shock! 383 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,714 I got another nut. 384 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,216 Ow! Hey! 385 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,152 A shock! 386 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,254 Oh, wait a minute. Let me push your lever down. 387 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,856 Hey! 388 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,259 I got a shock, too! 389 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,195 Oh! That's a mean little sucker! 390 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,897 Ah, one of these times it's bound to give us a nut. 391 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,733 Ow! 392 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,074 Here comes Paul. 393 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,509 Huh? Oh. Hey, hey, Paul. 394 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,477 Paul. Huh? 395 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,112 Listen, uh, do me a favor, will you? 396 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,014 Will you, uh, press one of those levers there 397 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,315 and see what happens, will ya? 398 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,684 It isn't some kind of trick or something, is it? 399 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,386 Oh! What? 400 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,390 Hey, I got a peanut. Thanks, guys. 401 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,096 Which, uh, lever did he press? 402 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,065 I thought you were watching. 403 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,868 Aw, it's probably... 404 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,103 Ah! 405 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,072 Frasier, I'm home. 406 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,440 Darling! 407 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,308 Look, Whiskers, it's Mommy. 408 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,543 Oh. 409 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,644 Look, hon, it's Whiskers. 410 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,279 You brought him to the bar? Well, yes. 411 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,282 I didn't want to let him out of my sight for a single minute. 412 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,051 I mean, you entrusted me with his care, 413 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,619 and I took that trust very seriously. 414 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:55,954 That's not Whiskers. 415 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,623 Of course it is. 416 00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:58,624 No, it isn't. 417 00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:01,326 Yes, it is. Have you gone mad, woman? 418 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,129 I'm telling you, I swear to you that this, this rat is Whiskers! 419 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,799 My Whiskers was clever and bright-eyed. 420 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,901 This rat is sluggish and slow. 421 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,469 Well, he missed you. 422 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,708 I missed you. I'm... sluggish and slow, too. 423 00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,779 Also, Whiskers responds to the sound of my voice. 424 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,582 This specimen shows no sign of recognition whatsoever. 425 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:27,052 Whiskers? Whiskers? 426 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,721 See? No response. 427 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,656 Where's my rat, Frasier? 428 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,491 Lilith, 429 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,259 as a scientist and as your husband, 430 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,762 I swear to you that this rat is Whiskers. 431 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,630 And I must tell you I'm a little hurt 432 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,866 by your accusation that I might try to fool you. 433 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,335 I look you straight in the eye and I swear to you 434 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,503 that this rat here is... 435 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,242 He's on my shoulder, isn't he? 436 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,111 Come here, Whiskers. 437 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,747 Surprise! I got Whiskers a mate! 438 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,551 Oh, you lucky rat. Oh! 439 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,521 Now he has female companionship. 440 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,124 Do I have female companionship? 441 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,292 Not for a long, long time. 442 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,030 Nice going, mister. 443 00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:15,100 Let's see if you're as sluggish in the snake cage. 444 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,244 MAN: Great game, Sam! You still got that arm! 445 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,245 (people cheering) 446 00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,013 Thanks, fellas! 447 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,648 I was pretty good, wasn't I? 448 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,917 Oh, man. 449 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,487 (mutters) 450 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,257 Oh, God! 451 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,224 (knocking at door) 452 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,026 Oh! Sammy? 453 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:42,061 Oh, hey. 454 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,163 Aah! Hey-hey! 455 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,164 Hey! Carla, huh? 456 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,432 What are you doing here? 457 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,767 Ah, I came down to see the game. You were great! 458 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,369 Yeah, I was kind of good, wasn't I? 459 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,670 Yeah. 460 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,072 Who's taking care of the bar? 461 00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,473 Rebecca. Oh, my God! 462 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,408 Aw, I was just kidding. No one. 463 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,077 Ah, ah. 464 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,480 You scared me there for a second. 465 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,082 Oh, Sammy, I... seeing you up there... 466 00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,083 Yeah? 467 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,084 ...it was so inspiring! 468 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,152 I mean, you're better than ever. 469 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,420 Thank you. You know, 470 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,522 everybody at the bar is just so proud of you! 471 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,458 Look at you. 472 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,459 You look great! 473 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,860 You're pitching terrific! 474 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,829 Yeah, I was kind of good out there, wasn't I? 475 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,830 Yeah! 476 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,799 Hey, Monday, how's it going? 477 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,802 Fine. Fine, Slim. 478 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,171 Actually, it's Mayday, Slim. 479 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,373 Mayday. Yeah, uh... 480 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,941 Kid around a lot... 481 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,209 That's my friend Carla Tortelli. 482 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,210 My roommate Slim. 483 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,244 Hey. Nice to meet you. 484 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,312 You, too, Slim. 485 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,913 Say, by the way, bunch of us are 486 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,548 going out for beer and pizza, you know, 487 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,050 get a little wild, do a little partying? 488 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,385 You interested? 489 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,821 Oh, thanks, but I'm here to visit my friend Sammy. 490 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,990 Sam, you got another clean shirt I can borrow? 491 00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:46,358 Yeah, sure, go ahead. 492 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:50,262 Not that one. Naw, go ahead. 493 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,363 Holy cow! 494 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,332 Feel free to get undressed in front of me. 495 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,600 Oh, I'm sorry. 496 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,935 Oh, no, I mean, holy cow, 497 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,971 feel free to get undressed in front of me. 498 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,642 Hey, Sammy! Great game, baby! 499 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:04,977 (chuckling) 500 00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:07,346 Whoo! 501 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,781 Oh, here we go, here we go! 502 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,216 Whoo! All right, fellas! Whoa! Whoa! 503 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,618 Oh, gotcha, gotcha! 504 00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:15,487 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 505 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,057 Time out! Time out! 506 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:20,626 (all laughing) 507 00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:22,528 Catch ya later, Midday! 508 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,496 Mayday. It's actually... it's Mayday! 509 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,331 (laughs) 510 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,700 Oh, you guys, man! 511 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:31,070 I'll catch up with you clowns later! 512 00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,972 Oh, they seem like a fun bunch, huh, Sam? 513 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,607 Oh, they're the best, yeah. 514 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,309 That's, that's baseball. 515 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,911 That's what it's all about. 516 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,879 And God, I hate it so much. 517 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,451 Get me out of here, Carla, please! 518 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,518 What are you talking about? 519 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,020 Who am I kidding? I hate this! 520 00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:49,588 I mean, they, they throw pillows! 521 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,256 They snap their towels! 522 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,026 And that's not funny. That's just dangerous. 523 00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:59,565 Did you see that one guy pat my butt? 524 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:00,799 I mean, that's not right. 525 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,071 Come on. Hey, Sammy, lighten up! 526 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,773 Hey, hey, cut it out, will you? 527 00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:09,942 This thing's got zippers! 528 00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,144 What is wrong with you?! 529 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,846 Nothing's wrong with me, Carla. I'm fine. 530 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:18,283 It's just... I don't think I like baseball anymore. 531 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,519 You know, it's a, it's a kids' game now. 532 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,087 And I'm not a kid anymore. 533 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:27,159 You know, I thought it was gonna be like old times. 534 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,460 You know, that's the problem. 535 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,462 It, it was exactly like old times. 536 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,231 You know, I've done all this stuff before. 537 00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:34,133 It's just not me. 538 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,835 Maybe you should give it a little more time, Sammy. 539 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,971 I mean, you've only been here a few weeks. 540 00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:40,406 Hey, look, you can't quit now. 541 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,607 I'm not gonna let ya! 542 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:42,975 Come on, Carla. 543 00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:45,377 You've supported me in all my other decisions, 544 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,312 except for maybe 545 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,214 you know, going out with Diane... 546 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:53,285 And selling the bar and hiring Rebecca, and... 547 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:57,322 you know, deciding to have a kid with her and everything. 548 00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,726 What the hell kind of friend are you, anyway? 549 00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:04,596 Oh, Sammy, even though I really think you quitting 550 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,599 is a bonehead decision, I want you to be happy. 551 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,703 Come on. Let's pack your bags and I'll drive you home. 552 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,404 I, I don't have anything to pack. 553 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,474 The guys borrowed all my clothes, even my underwear. 554 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,910 Let's just get out of here, okay? 555 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,646 If you're really, really sure. 556 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:23,682 We just don't have anything in common. 557 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,884 It's not like I can ask them to grow up, 558 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,220 any more than I can, well, stay a kid. 559 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,521 You know what I mean? 560 00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,924 Oh, God. Here we go. 561 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,294 Hey, Sammy. 562 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,995 Hey, Slim. 563 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:39,365 I thought you guys were gonna go barhopping, huh? 564 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:42,501 We figured we should spend a night in. 565 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:43,736 Really? 566 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,004 Yeah. 567 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:46,772 After all, we're in training, right? 568 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,143 You mean, you guys just want to sit around and talk 569 00:21:51,211 --> 00:21:53,379 and maybe watch a little TV and hang out? 570 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,647 Well, sure, if, uh, that's okay with you. 571 00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,518 Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Yeah. 572 00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:02,121 Yeah, we thought we'd just come back to the room, 573 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,857 relax and maybe... 574 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:05,858 pants the new guy. 575 00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:06,925 (raucous shouting) 576 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:10,029 Hey! Hey! Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Cool it! Cool it! 577 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,097 Cool it. Game's over, you guys. 578 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,399 Aw... 579 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,535 Go on and take a break and just leave Sammy alone. 580 00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:18,370 Yeah. 581 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,474 Come on, Sammy. Let's get you out of here. 582 00:22:26,046 --> 00:22:27,079 Sorry, guys. 583 00:22:27,147 --> 00:22:29,214 I'll see you around, huh? 584 00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:31,383 Sam, just go wait in the car for a minute. 585 00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:33,152 I've got to give these guys what for. 586 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,323 You know, you guys, you just chased 587 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:40,526 one of the great ballplayers out of the game. 588 00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,629 I just got one thing to say to you... 589 00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:45,297 pants Slim! 590 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:46,632 (raucous shouting) 591 00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,534 Hey, hey, save some for me! 55089

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