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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,062 Yo, what up, fellas? 2 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,941 Yo, I'm loving how many black people in here. 3 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,398 A few years ago, this casting room was all white. 4 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,730 Oh, it feels so good to finally audition for a show 5 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:28,026 -with all black writers. -Yes, no more thug number one, 6 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,701 drug dealer number two. We got characters with names, 7 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,200 backstories, multiple dimensions. 8 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,662 You know what that sounds like? 9 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,242 [all] Progress! 10 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,199 Things have finally changed. 11 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,997 -Nick, we're ready for you. -Oh, okay. 12 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,756 -[Nick] Hey girl, hey, what up? What up? -[loud banging] 13 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,802 [Nick] Tonight, 'bout to be lit! 14 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,933 -What's this character's backstory? -He's a drug dealer 15 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,727 who's pursuing a rap career, but he's lazy about it. 16 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,733 -It's super authentic, though. -Okay. 17 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:07,323 [Nick] I went down to ol' Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles with my boy Jamal. 18 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,280 And we were like, "Let's straight rob dis joint." 19 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:11,611 Know what I'm sayin'? 20 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,696 [Nick imitates gunfire] 21 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:15,988 Uh... 22 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,374 -Is it based off a true story? -No, 23 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:23,793 but the creator grew up in the suburb of the city this story's based in. So... 24 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:26,800 that counts. 25 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:30,128 [Nick] We 'bout to spend all these Gs on rims, 26 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,875 on Henney, on Golden Grillz, 27 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,427 and, our favorite fruit, 28 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,391 watermelon! 29 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,351 You said this show has all black writers. 30 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,055 I mean, probably like, one white writer. 31 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,016 [Nick] Hey, yo, a nigga is ashy as fuck. 32 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,983 Can nigga get some cocoa butter in this bitch? 33 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,273 Can nigga get some cocoa butter and shit? 34 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,477 Maybe two. Maybe two. 35 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:55,527 [Nick] Well, massa. I'sa promise to pick dat cotton real good fo ya, massa. 36 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,040 There's a flashback scene, and then, you... 37 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:06,084 Look man, slavery's a part of our past, okay. We can't keep running from it. 38 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,291 [Nick] Don't shoot, don't shoot, 39 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,588 -I'm an unarmed black man, no! -[gunfire] 40 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,377 -Are those literal gun shots? -I don't know. 41 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,051 [woman] That was really good. 42 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,018 -Oh, my God, thank you so much. -You're so welcome, that was so great. 43 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,269 -Great playing, great choices. -It's just about the work, you know. 44 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,435 Whew! That felt great! 45 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,361 Y'all need blood packets? 46 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,444 All right, break a leg. 47 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,530 Are you staying? 48 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,493 Hell no, man. I don't care who wrote this shit. 49 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,294 It's stereotypical and Hollywood always does this to black people. 50 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,738 -Let's go. -Are you guys leaving? 51 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,212 -We got to, you know, it's just like... -Oh, yeah, the car, 52 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,000 -...and stuff. -And there's another thing. 53 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:50,503 Yeah, no, it's okay. I assume you won't be able to make our audition next week? 54 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:55,337 We're doing Soul Plane 2: Too Fast, Too Furlishness. 55 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,425 -We gonna be there. -We'll definitely be there. 56 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,932 -Cool. -Sign us up. 57 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,015 -Alright, great, was that a pound? -Yeah, pound it. 58 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,890 -Alright. -See you next time. 59 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,895 [both] Progress. 60 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,397 [man] Too Fast, Too Furlishness. 61 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,824 -You going to Roscoe's? -Let's get waffles. 62 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,741 -♪ Here we come now ♪ -♪ Now it's our time ♪ 63 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,740 -♪ Here we come now ♪ -♪ Here we come, we here ♪ 64 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,662 ♪ Like ha, ha, hee, hee That's how you'll be ♪ 65 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,832 ♪ You won't resist When you turn on your TV ♪ 66 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,581 ♪ You know we taking over Something's gotta give ♪ 67 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,123 ♪ Watch us run things Like we did ♪ 68 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,338 ♪ You know the vibe Clear the way, here we come ♪ 69 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,798 ♪ We be numero uno No comprende, number one ♪ 70 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:36,339 -♪ Here we come, y'all ♪ -♪ With a brand new style ♪ 71 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,304 ♪ Hit you with the first line, pow ♪ 72 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,854 It's Mo's birthday, so we're having a party. 73 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,189 Technically, she's making us have one. 74 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,653 But either way, I'm getting smacked. 75 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,437 Mo's always gone big for her birthday, 76 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:59,487 but having her face everywhere this year 77 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,822 is a bit much. 78 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,946 This is the one cup I could find 79 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,495 without Monique's face on it. 80 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,291 Ooh, uh... 81 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,501 I'm done. I'm done. 82 00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,206 Don't even worry about it, it's a party, 83 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,336 Come on, it's fun. 84 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,422 Hey, hey! 85 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,342 -I'm bored. -Huh? 86 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,679 Oh! [laughs] 87 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:24,893 What's up? 88 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,523 We dancing? Nope. 89 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,189 I love parties that's just us hanging out. 90 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,349 I hate big crowds, 91 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,476 I also hate James. 92 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:32,812 It's actually also my birth-- 93 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,775 Girl, you gotta come to happy hour. 94 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,236 I dunno girl, I'm so busy. 95 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,831 Hey Patricia, I'm gonna need those sales figures on my desk by Monday. 96 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,949 -Have a good weekend. -Okay. 97 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,251 Bye, Luke. 98 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,535 Ugh, did you see that? 99 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,333 Yeah, sweet power move. 100 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,707 -Wait, what? -Girl, 101 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,053 don't be intimidated by that big dick energy. 102 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,627 You're a boss bitch. 103 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,424 Harness your big clit energy... 104 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,220 with the Execlitive. 105 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,472 Huh? Ooh. 106 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,683 The Execlitive? 107 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,392 Yeah, it's the word executive, with clit in the middle. 108 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,683 I got that part. 109 00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:12,186 It's padding you place in your panties to amplify your womanhood, 110 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,770 so that you can make deals just like the fellas. 111 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:16,186 I don't know if-- 112 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:20,494 If emphasizing your genitals is easier than making a formal complaint to HR, 113 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,070 it is. It comes in three sizes: 114 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,616 XL, Juicy, and Hillary, but if she won. 115 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,581 Huh, I hate that. 116 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,540 Yeah, me too. Look at mine. 117 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:30,961 Whoo! 118 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,419 -Wow, that's a lot. -Yeah. 119 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,587 If anyone's gonna grab that pussy, girl, it should be you. 120 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,378 And that's how we'll maintain a profit. 121 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:44,143 Well done, Patricia, until now, I didn't even know you had opinions. 122 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:47,005 [woman] The Execlitive travels, just like your voice. 123 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,966 -[Patricia] That's my yogurt. -Okay, I'll give my notice. 124 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,478 The Execlitive can't be contained, and neither should you. 125 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,810 Patricia, you deserve a promotion. 126 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,980 How do you feel about Chief Executive Manager? 127 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,444 [wet squelching] 128 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,907 Damn, you're good. Chief Financial Officer. 129 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,535 The Execlitive. Go ahead, girl, swing yours around. 130 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,414 From the creators of the Of-fist, 131 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:16,169 because an effective handshake ends at the hospital. 132 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,050 [emcee] Let's give it up for Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. 133 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,053 Congrats again to the lovely couple. 134 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,885 All right, y'all, I'mma take a quick break, but when I get back, 135 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:29,891 we gonna turn up. 136 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,270 That was quite the playlist. 137 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,902 "The Tootsie Roll." "Crank That Soulja Boy." 138 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,269 -"The Whoa Dance." -Oh yeah, 139 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,186 you know, just doing my thing to get this party started. 140 00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,145 Bitch, 141 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,952 that wasn't a compliment. 142 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,488 You know how hard it is to keep up with all these dances. 143 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,779 -What? -We ain't got time for this shit. 144 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:51,076 I'm studying to be a goddamn doctor. 145 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,906 You expect me to perfect the In My Feelings Challenge 146 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,456 after doing an overnight at the ER? 147 00:06:55,540 --> 00:07:00,340 Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just back up. If you don't know a dance, that's okay. 148 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,210 Nigga, you sound stupid right now. 149 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,630 These goddamn white kids learn these dances too damn fast. 150 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,386 They learn 'em, we gotta learn 'em. 151 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,098 C'mon, they ain't that good. 152 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,008 Oh yeah? 153 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:14,808 Holy shit, he getting it. 154 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,022 Man, dude look like a white Bruno Mars over there. 155 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:17,943 Who cares, man. 156 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,650 Listen, dancing doesn't define a person's blackness. 157 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,072 The fuck it don't. 158 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,701 You ever attend a west coast party and not know how to Crip Walk? 159 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:26,778 You can't Crip Walk? 160 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,493 I'm from New York, okay? I was too busy learning the Harlem Shake. 161 00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,117 I spent my senior year 162 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,370 locked in my mother's basement trying to learn that shit. 163 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,793 This is all I could come up with. 164 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,791 -Don't do it, bruh. -No, come on. 165 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,373 He doing it, ain't he? 166 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,882 [plate shattering] 167 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,960 Shit. 168 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,052 -That's your fault. -Okay, look, 169 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,720 I get it, I do. 170 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,130 I'll just stick to the basics, like the Dougie. 171 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:50,929 You dunno how to Dougie? 172 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,021 For the love of God, teach me how to Dougie. 173 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,269 Man, I can't, 174 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,350 I'm working right now. 175 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,225 -What about the Milly Rock? -I once tried 176 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,572 to Milly Rock, and I knocked all my cousin's teeth out. 177 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:06,238 And I vowed I would never Milly Rock on any block ever again. 178 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,989 -The Nae Nae? -Watch me whip. 179 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,066 -Now watch me Nae Nae. -Stop. 180 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,987 -The Lean Wit It Rock Wit It, come on. -I could Lean Wit It, 181 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,456 but I can't Rock Wit It. 182 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,538 What the hell dance can y'all do? 183 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,834 Ya gotta know Electric Slide. 184 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:28,222 Everybody black know the Electric Slide, and y'all black. 185 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,339 Y'all ain't never been to no wedding? Had a black family reunion? Barbecue? 186 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,968 Nothing? Y'all just stood there and watched? 187 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,055 The song says, "I'll teach you, teach you, teach you," 188 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,891 but they ain't never teach you! 189 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,016 -It's messed up. -All right, 190 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,067 there's got to be at least one dance 191 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:45,895 all three of y'all can do. 192 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,701 ♪ Put your right hand in And you shake it all about ♪ 193 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,951 ♪ You do the hokey-pokey And you turn yourself around ♪ 194 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,254 ♪ That's what it's all about ♪ 195 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,618 Uh, hello, NAACP? 196 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,956 Yes, I'd like to report three niggas who need their black card revoked. 197 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,461 I will absolutely hold. 198 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,045 When's Mo getting here? 199 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,973 Mo never shows up to parties on time. 200 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:17,064 She needs a full-on gestation period to glamamorphisize herself. 201 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,727 I guess everybody can't have this much swag. 202 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,483 I always arrive at parties 20 minutes early. 203 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,272 It's just enough time to tell everyone how to have fun. 204 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,187 Okay, alright. This is my nightmare. There are too many strangers here. 205 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,238 And James. 206 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:32,947 [all flinch] 207 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,990 What? Oh, sorry. 208 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,164 -Come on! -James! 209 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,702 James, why are you wearing that crazy ass mask? 210 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:41,657 Mo told us all to wear 'em. Want one? 211 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,667 [all groaning] 212 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,625 Mo's face is gonna haunt my dreams forever. 213 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,051 She also wanted me to say she's still getting ready. 214 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,760 Something about a big entrance. Her exact words were 215 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,431 "stunting on these hoes," 216 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,509 but that just sounds weird coming out of my mouth. 217 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,389 Stuntin' on these hoes. 218 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:04,645 God, just couldn't-- Something about the-- Do I say the G or the N? 219 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:09,436 Feels like something else is supposed to happen today, 220 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,775 but I just can't put my finger on it. 221 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,571 Just in case you didn't hear me before, it's also my birth-- 222 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,577 Ain't nothing like sitting on the porch, 223 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,118 taking in God's creation. 224 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,130 [all] Mm-hmm. 225 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:32,920 Reminds me of the good old days, before the world got all crazy. 226 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,297 No iPhones, no internet, 227 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,006 all you needed to pass the time was a good book. 228 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:41,216 They don't make books like they used to. 229 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,227 Harry Potter this, Game of Thrones that. 230 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,232 In the good old days, a book had a simple premise. 231 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,073 Like Hop on Pop. 232 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,438 [all] Like Hop on Pop. 233 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:54,945 So easy to understand, 'cause they had the pictures. 234 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,109 [all] Mm-hmm. 235 00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:01,368 Nowadays, everything's so complicated, like Uber. 236 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,249 In the good old days, when someone drove you, 237 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,291 they put you in a booster seat with a plastic cup of Cheerios. 238 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,707 Preferably Honey Nut Cheerios. 239 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,546 -Well, that goes without saying. -Mm-hmm. 240 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:17,301 It's a scary world, with the STIs and the HIVs. 241 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:21,755 In the good old days, all you had to worry about was the cooties. 242 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,137 And, you didn't need condoms for protection. 243 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,435 Just circle circle, dot dot... 244 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,897 [all] Now I got my cootie shot. 245 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:33,234 How come you gotta work twice as hard for the same stuff? 246 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:37,663 We used to get free food and shelter for just existing. 247 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,238 There are too many rules. 248 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:40,493 In the good old days 249 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,084 all you had to know was your ABCs, 250 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,580 and your one two threes, and you'd get... 251 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,923 [all] A shiny gold sticker. 252 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,961 The rules keep changing. 253 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:50,882 Shit. 254 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,380 In the good old days, 255 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,841 I could run through the sprinkler with my wee-wee out. 256 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,376 Now, it's illegal. How that make sense? 257 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,676 I remember the day it happened. 258 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,890 Woman came up to me and said, "You need to put pants on. You're six." 259 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,142 That ain't hurting nobody. 260 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,683 Back then, I understood the options: 261 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:10,481 right, wrong, black, white, male, female. 262 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,983 Now, there's gender non-binary, 263 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,026 moral relativism, 264 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,399 and the color gray? What the fuck?! 265 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,277 In the good old days, if you were hungry, 266 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:23,334 a woman would pull her boobies out and feed you. 267 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,909 In the good old days, adults would wipe your ass and sing ya to sleep. 268 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,116 In the good old days, you could live in a sack 269 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:33,207 surrounded by amniotic fluid in the womb. 270 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:38,341 I sure do miss living in my father's testicles. 271 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,934 [all] The good old days! 272 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,516 [emcee] Welcome back to the third annual Whispy awards. 273 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:55,524 Here are your hosts, ASMR legends Itchy Mitch and Lorna Lipsmack. 274 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:58,651 [Lorna] Hello. 275 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:03,868 This is the one time of year the ASMR community 276 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,989 can come together and... 277 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,236 [rasping] 278 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,162 [Lorna slurping] 279 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,576 [Lorna chuckles] 280 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:11,834 [scraping] 281 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:16,586 While the YouTube comments may call us sound freaks, 282 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,011 I'd call us 283 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,220 auditory artists. 284 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:23,469 Who just happen to make your brain orgasm. 285 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,216 [crunch] 286 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,805 [Mitch] Without further ado, 287 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,192 we'd like to introduce the nominees 288 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:38,530 for best recorded duet in the found location. 289 00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,486 [Lorna] Get Your Hair Did. 290 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,624 [whispers] Can I have a pencil? 291 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,284 [Mitch] Dude, Where's My Pencil? 292 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,832 [scraping] 293 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:52,705 Nice. 294 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,127 Divorce Pending. 295 00:13:57,002 --> 00:14:00,882 And the Whispy goes to... 296 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,715 Dude, Where's My Pencil. 297 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,307 [whispering] Thank you. 298 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,822 Which brings us to our next honoree. 299 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,571 Once a year, we celebrate a person 300 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:28,584 who's dedicated their lives to making sounds that just make our minds... 301 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,000 [moaning] 302 00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,288 [titters] 303 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:38,001 And now, the Lifetime Whispy Achievement Award goes to... 304 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,880 the Apollo Sandman. 305 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:54,639 And now, for our final Whispy of the night. 306 00:14:55,519 --> 00:15:01,229 This next group of artists challenges what it means to hear sounds. 307 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:06,407 The nominees for best sounds are... 308 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,908 [Mitch] Mondays. 309 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,200 [lapping] 310 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,541 [Lorna] Mince, Lather, Repeat. 311 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,463 [squelching] 312 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,081 [Lorna] Get It Poppin! 313 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,747 [bubbles pop] 314 00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,968 [Mitch] Muk-BE-Bangin'. 315 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,467 [squelching, slurping] 316 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:33,023 [Lorna] And the final Whispy goes to... 317 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,774 [both] Muk-BE-Bangin'. 318 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,438 [squelching, slurping] 319 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,238 [Lorna] Oh, yeah. 320 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:54,792 Oh, yeah! 321 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,495 You're welcome. 322 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,433 Hey everybody, come on out to the pool. 323 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,010 Mo's gonna do a big entrance. 324 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:14,931 ["Call Me Superstar" plays] 325 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,109 ♪ You can call me superstar, whoa ♪ 326 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,187 ♪ You can call me superstar ♪ 327 00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,357 ♪ Whoa ♪ 328 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,195 ♪ Ooh, they wish they got this far ♪ 329 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,868 I'm sorry, she just-- She looks so beautiful. 330 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,501 -♪ Whoa ♪ -♪ You can call me superstar ♪ 331 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,748 It's one of my top 10 memories now. 332 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,831 ♪ Superstar, whoa ♪ 333 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,285 [screaming] 334 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,879 [screaming continues] 335 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,431 Don't look at me. Don't look at me! 336 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,512 [cackling] 337 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,265 [laughing] She was-- She was-- 338 00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,810 Monique! 339 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,653 No! Don't look at me! 340 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:02,809 Don't look at me. 341 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:05,016 I mean, we gotta look, I mean. 342 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,067 Don't look at me. 343 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,651 [sobbing] 344 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,238 I just looked so beautiful. 345 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,703 [screaming] 346 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:18,793 And my stunt double... Oh, my God, she's gorgeous. 347 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:24,290 [distorted, slowed down audio] 348 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,046 Seriously, what the fuck am I forgetting? 349 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,379 It's killing me. 350 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,134 Did they see? 351 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,425 Yes, everyone saw. 352 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:35,256 -Yes. -Happy birthday to us. 353 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:37,426 You remembered! 354 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,564 Yeah! 355 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,476 Happy birthday, Monique. 356 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,730 Figures. 357 00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,478 Wait, isn't it also James's birth-- 358 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:11,093 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 359 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,093 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 360 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,545 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 361 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,546 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 362 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,888 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Now it's our time ♪ 363 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:23,484 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Here we come, we here ♪ 364 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,690 -♪ Here we come, y'all ♪ -♪ With a brand-new style ♪ 365 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,321 -♪ Here we come, y'all ♪ -♪ Hit you with the first line, pow ♪ 366 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,938 ♪ Like ha, ha, hee, hee That's how you'll be ♪ 367 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:33,276 ♪ You won't resist When you turn on your TV ♪ 368 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,992 ♪ A whole 'nother level With a brand-new swag ♪ 369 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,453 ♪ Lemme show you How we gon' get that bag ♪ 370 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,994 ♪ You know we taking over Something's gotta give ♪ 371 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,408 ♪ Watch us run things Like we, like we, like we did ♪ 372 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,577 ♪ You know the vibe Clear the way, here we come ♪ 373 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,286 ♪ We be numero uno No comprende, number one ♪ 374 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,087 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 375 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,589 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 376 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,132 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 377 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,592 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 378 00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,508 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Here we come ♪ 379 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,177 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Here we come ♪ 380 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,767 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ So you better get good ♪ 381 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,153 -♪ Here we come ♪ -♪ Let's get it, get everybody now ♪ 382 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,440 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ It's about to be lit, and that's fact ♪ 383 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,485 ♪ When we hit you With the first line, pow ♪ 29274

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