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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,720 [school bell rings] 2 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,102 Oh, man, I heard we have a substitute teacher today. 3 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:15,139 Yeah, but it's probably gonna be lame. 4 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,766 Greetings and salutations. 5 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,521 [students] Katt Williams? 6 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,898 Okay, settle down, children. 7 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,404 I said, settle down, children. 8 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,822 I am Katt Williams. I'll be your substitute English teacher today, okay? 9 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,404 Wow. 10 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,027 [student] Whoa, he permed out. 11 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,494 But Katt, why are you our sub? 12 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,163 Your bitch ass English teacher, Mr. Henson, 13 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,905 fell down three flights of stairs and fractured his coccyx. 14 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,458 And I've got 109 hours of community service 15 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,712 for robbing a Williams-Sonoma at nun-point. 16 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,094 Dope! Wait, 17 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,131 don't you mean gunpoint? 18 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,303 I sure don't. 19 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:52,221 Now, today's lesson is on Shakespeare's tragiclicious Romeo and Juliet. 20 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,262 Take out ya textbooks. 21 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,139 [students murmur] 22 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:57,562 They've been pimpified, okay. 23 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,480 Now, in the beginning, a bunch of white people fightin' 24 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,150 'cause somebody done bit they thumb. 25 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,228 Now, I don't know what the problem is, 26 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:05,477 I really don't. 27 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,985 Maybe he had a nail-biting issue, boo-boo. 28 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:12,114 But these white people lost they damn minds. 29 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,777 Never in the history of niggadom has a nigga been more cold-blooded. 30 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,077 He just standing there, just... 31 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,082 "Is this nigga bitin' his thumb right now? 32 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,332 Time to die, nigga, 33 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,663 time to die! 34 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,828 That's for Nee-Nee and them, 35 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,916 take that nigga, 36 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000 bite your thumb again." 37 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,797 Damn, that is cold-blooded. 38 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,220 I'm telling you little niggas, 39 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,798 Shakespeare's more savage than when I once saw Suge Knight 40 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,184 body slam a cashier at a Del Taco 41 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,101 for saying the word "sconce." 42 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,390 -Sconce. -Sconce. 43 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,353 Now, Romeo's bitch ass, he's all lovey and dovey 44 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,063 over some bitch named Rosalind. He just... 45 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,153 Oh! Oh! 46 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,983 He probably still smell her juices on his fingers and shit. 47 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,068 [students groan] 48 00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,454 And his friends, they just clownin' him, they're just standing there, 49 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,581 "Hath she let ya hit it yet, Romeo? Has she let you hit it?" 50 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,449 And he's over here just, "Not yet cousin, not yet... 51 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,407 [sniffs] 52 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,906 ...but I doth have hope, cousin." 53 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,037 So, Romeo is a pimp? 54 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,996 He sure is a pimp. Fast Times at Nigmont High. 55 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,800 One page later, he meets Juliet, 56 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:14,341 and I guess Rosalind's just "The Bitch That Time Forgot." 57 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,755 She just standin' there, just... 58 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,262 "What about... 59 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,886 what about me?" 60 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,559 Yeah, that's how they do. 61 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,100 Does he have to say "bitch" so much? 62 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,353 Romeo's bitch ass 63 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,104 put the pussy on a pedestal, 64 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,596 and then he got married. 65 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,570 That's why the nigga is dead today. The end. 66 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,406 Katt, that was hella dope, 67 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,698 but the test just isn't on Romeo and Juliet, 68 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,492 it's also on Taming of the Shrew. 69 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,736 That's about niggas keepin' they bitch in check. Okay. 70 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,291 What about Twelfth Night? 71 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,081 The people of Verona can't tell niggas apart 72 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,915 because white people be trippin' like that. 73 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,630 -What about Othello? -All the white people 74 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,880 hate the one black person in the room. 75 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,592 #GreenBookWasn'tGood. 76 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,302 -Do Macbeth. -When a bitch 77 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:57,512 got a weak ass nigga, she will get that nigga killed. 78 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,644 -Hamlet. -A white man loses his mind, 79 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:03,181 and then just goes on a killing spree, traveling through Europe. 80 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,346 That's white privilege. 81 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,274 -[students] Oh, Katt. -[bell rings] 82 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,192 I'm sorry, 83 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,610 that's the bell and that means that's my time. Uh... 84 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,940 I have been Katt Williams, everybody. 85 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,815 Y'all can have a good nigh-- Oh. 86 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,279 I got seven more classes to do today? 87 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:19,741 Uh-uh. Take me to jail. Take me to jail. Good night. 88 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:27,328 [students cheering] Katt! Katt! 89 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,425 -♪ Here we come now ♪ -♪ Now it's our time ♪ 90 00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:40,429 -♪ Here we come now ♪ -♪ Here we come, we here ♪ 91 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,431 ♪ Like ha, ha, hee, hee That's how you'll be ♪ 92 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,734 ♪ You won't resist When you turn on your TV ♪ 93 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,308 ♪ You know we taking over Something's gotta give ♪ 94 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,984 ♪ Watch us run things Like we did ♪ 95 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,074 ♪ You know the vibe Clear the way, here we come ♪ 96 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,649 ♪ We be numero uno No comprende, number one ♪ 97 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,985 -♪ Here we come, y'all ♪ -♪ With a brand new style ♪ 98 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,952 ♪ Hit you with the first line, pow ♪ 99 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:08,827 Y'all, where the delivery guy? I'm hungry. 100 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,379 I canceled it. 101 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:15,593 Oh, yes, I'm making everybody a soul food feast. For the culture. 102 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,427 Sometimes I feel insecure about my blackness. 103 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,351 So, I bought this book, 104 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:26,558 Soul Food For People Who Feel Insecure About Their Blackness. 105 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,851 It's really powerful. 106 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,845 Making this show has made everyone question what it means to be black. 107 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,112 Of course, Caroline's freaking out. 108 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,691 So, everyone's gonna start getting defensive. 109 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,567 All right, I'mma make a sandwich while we wait. 110 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,321 Damn it, Keisha you at all the white bread. 111 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,117 So what! So what? I had some white bread! 112 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,871 I've also had brown bread 113 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,003 and black bread and Filipino bread. 114 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,830 I've had all kinds of bread! 115 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,205 Doesn't mean I'm thirsty for white bread! 116 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,133 Ain't nobody thirsty for no bread. 117 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,841 I live in a black neighborhood, 118 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,131 my hair is black, and I buy black. 119 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,755 So don't come at me for having a white husband. 120 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,013 I don't know why Keisha's being so defensive. 121 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,925 I have a white husband and it's fine. 122 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,850 All right we're gonna use that for the "white edit" of the show, right? 123 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,904 For the rest, you know, we're just gonna cut that out? For the culture. 124 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,363 [man] Uh, Monique, we don't do a "white edit." 125 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,573 [Monique] Oh? Okay. 126 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,740 Anybody want a JB Smoothie? 127 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,204 Oh, okay. 128 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,529 Alright. 129 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,949 Yeah. Thank you. 130 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,703 Thank you. Cheers. 131 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,407 Well done, brother. 132 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,577 Gross, Caroline, what is in this? 133 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,205 Ham hock and black eyed peas. 134 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,292 -What?! Why?! -No, why?! 135 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,303 I told you my palette is sensitive! 136 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,589 [overlapping shouts] 137 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,600 After the smoothies, I was thirsty for bread. 138 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,720 Mmm! 139 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,516 For the culture. 140 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,435 Mm-hmm. 141 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,614 Son, we need to talk. 142 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,203 Your mother and I found this on your laptop. 143 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,584 Oh God, this is my nightmare. 144 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:08,868 We're very disappointed in you. 145 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,411 We just... we never expected you to do something like this. 146 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,206 I just watched a little porn. Is it really that bad? 147 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,290 Son, there's nothing wrong with watching porn. 148 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,173 -But, you're watching white porn. -I'm sorry... 149 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,336 -Wait, did you say "white porn"? -Damn right! 150 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:25,223 Look, every time a black person watches white porn, 151 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,551 a black dick gets soft. 152 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,756 Is that what you really want? 153 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,102 Hmm? 154 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,810 Dad, porn is porn. I don't care what color they are, all I see are titties-- 155 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,142 Boy, we don't do white porn in this house! 156 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,188 Look, I watch black porn all the time. 157 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,649 I even keep a little thumb drive, for emergencies. 158 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,943 Ain't no "No WiFi" stopping me. 159 00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,317 [woman] Where you going? The party's just getting started 160 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,405 in my white vagina. 161 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,485 See, that's what I'm talking about, okay? 162 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,825 Black people revolutionized, the porn industry 163 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,501 and we ain't get no credit for it. They stole it from us, son, 164 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:58,000 the same way Ryan Gosling stole jazz. Never forget. 165 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:02,424 Okay, so you're okay if I watch porn, so long as it's black porn? 166 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,085 Absolutely, black people been banging for decades. 167 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,634 -Decades? -Maybe more! 168 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:10,098 Dad, it's not that I only like white porn, 169 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,019 it's just that white porn is pretty much all there is on those sites. 170 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,639 Son, let me learn you somethin', 171 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,403 we got plenty of classics people never talk about. 172 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,768 Did someone say “classics?” 173 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:21,649 -[mother chuckling] -Ohh... 174 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,322 Help me, Black Jesus. 175 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,451 We were waiting to pass this down 'til you were ready, 176 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,608 ready for all this black sex-cellence. 177 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,367 Here are some of our personal favorites. 178 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,700 Malcum XXX. 179 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,289 -12 Inches a Slave. -[imitates whip cracking] 180 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,622 The Tuskegee Semen. 181 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:39,998 We saw that in the theater. 182 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,554 Guess Who's Cumming to Dinner? It's everyone. 183 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,467 Bukkake Panther Party, Hidden Fingers, Girth of a Nation. 184 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:51,890 -Go Fuck It On the Mountain-- -Why is there so much? 185 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,511 Eyes On Them Thighs. 186 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,810 Glory... Hole, 187 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,397 Rose Wood, Antwone Fist Him, When We Were Kinky, 188 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,651 -A Raisin in the Puss-- -Stop! 189 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,151 Stop, okay, I think I'm starting to get it. 190 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,653 Speaking of self care, 191 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,645 you need to take better care of yourself. 192 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,907 You're in here jerkin' it with Jergens like you don't love yourself. 193 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,871 You gotta use some cocoa butter. 194 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,581 It'll leave your dick smooth and smelling like an Atlanta stripper. 195 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,962 Okay, I really didn't need all that. 196 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,285 I just wanted to watch a little porn, that's all. 197 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,337 It's about representation. 198 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,261 Black pornstars aren't treated equally with their white counterparts. 199 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,179 A person can choose not to work with someone 200 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,971 based on the color of their skin. 201 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,637 Oh, I never thought about it like that. 202 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,558 But now I don't even know if I can watch black porn. 203 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,806 I don't wanna see black women degraded that way. 204 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,398 Son, be the change you wanna see in this world. 205 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,533 Are you telling me to be a porn star? 206 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:54,162 No, son, we're telling you to be a black porn star. 207 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,752 -You're my little black porn star. -I want to see that dick. 208 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,421 [announcer] And the award for Best Director goes to... 209 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,093 Barry Jerkings for Poonlight. 210 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:06,548 [applause] 211 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:07,589 This is my truth. 212 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,966 My parents always told me... black porn only. 213 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,806 I'm a surf instructor. Do you like the beach? 214 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,397 I don't know, I've never been. 215 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,113 Gross. 216 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,202 [announcer] Tina Simmons always had trouble connecting with men, 217 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,359 until one day... 218 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,526 I just wish I understood how they thought. 219 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,986 ...something magical happened. 220 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,041 Ma'am? Ma'am? Are you okay? 221 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,002 I think so. 222 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,711 [waiter] Wow, this clumsy girl is really cute! 223 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,002 Oh, my God, I can hear your thoughts! 224 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,506 [announcer] She could hear men's thoughts. 225 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,419 What? 226 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,130 [announcer] At first, her friends didn't believe her. 227 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,087 Tina, I'm not joking around here. 228 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,807 You have a concussion, and you need to see a neurologist. 229 00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,808 No, you have to believe me, I can hear men's innermost thoughts. 230 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,807 He's thinking about how cute I look right now. 231 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:05,809 No Inglés. 232 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,652 That's it, I'm taking you to the E.R. 233 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,613 [announcer] But then, something even more magical happened. 234 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,485 [Tina] Oh, shit. 235 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,115 Tina, Tina, are you okay? 236 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:21,245 Crystal, you look like a supermodel. 237 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,959 I guess I'm seeing your inner beauty as your-- 238 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,920 [announcer] She could see people's inner beauty as their outer beauty. 239 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,051 Alright, that's actually pretty insulting. 240 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,088 After all, dating in New York can be hard. 241 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,473 What seems to be the problem? 242 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,009 She thinks getting hit in the head is giving her magical powers. 243 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:37,677 This could be serious-- 244 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:44,354 Oh, my God, I'm a grown woman trapped in a young girl's body. 245 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,475 Okay, we need to get her into surgery right away. 246 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,361 But sometimes, just when you think all is lost... 247 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,489 Well, Tina, it was touch and go for a minute, 248 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,199 but we were able to stop the hemorrhaging. 249 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,369 -Oh, good. -There's just one problem. 250 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,698 -What? -We need to figure out where to go... 251 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,703 on our date tonight. 252 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,708 You find you have everything to gain. 253 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:07,996 It's a date. 254 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,089 I'm so sorry, 255 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,134 the brain can only take so much. 256 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,091 You did your best, Doctor. 257 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:21,305 I'm afraid there's just one more decision we have to make. 258 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,219 What's that? 259 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,177 Where I'm going to take you out... 260 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,805 on our date tonight. 261 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,404 Ahh! Wow! 262 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,440 [Crystal] Oh, these flowers are so beautiful. 263 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,114 [doctor] For a beautiful lady. 264 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,322 -I think I love you. -No, I love you. 265 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,449 [phone ringing] 266 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,414 Hello, this is Jonathan Braylock speaking. 267 00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,373 Yo, wassup, fam? 268 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,956 Yeah, how you livin', cuz? Nah, I'm good, brah, 269 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,632 I'm just hangin' with the homies. 270 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,261 I grew up in a white suburb, and won my family's spades tournament. 271 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,974 Yea, I can code switch. 272 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,929 James, you haven't tried your hog maw muffin. 273 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:00,465 You're right. 274 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,970 Yeah, I could definitely be blacker. 275 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,056 Guess I gotta eat these pig colon muffins. 276 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,188 -James. -Whoa. 277 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,692 Hey, everybody, this is Peppers, 278 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,693 my dick appointment for this episode. 279 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,315 -Oh, hi. -Nice to meet you. 280 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,913 My blackness is intersectional, 'cause I'm half Puerto Rican. 281 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,989 -[phone chimes] -'Scuse me. 282 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:22,914 Okay. 283 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,834 I met this guy in WeHo last night. 284 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,044 I'm 'bout to intersect that ass. Oh, can we put that in the "gay edit"? 285 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,210 For the culture. 286 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:38,469 [speaking in Spanish] 287 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,046 I-- 288 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,088 People think I'm Mexican, 289 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,310 Puerto Rican, Dominican, Samoan, Tongan... 290 00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,809 [chuckles] Korean. 291 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,141 I once had an agent tell me I look like an Asian Kevin Spacey. 292 00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,977 But, I'm black, 293 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,062 and Native American, 294 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:59,396 and Mexican, Puerto Rican, Dominican, Korean, Sephardic Jew. 295 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,826 Fifi on the track. 296 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:14,461 ♪ It's a party for everybody All my baddies, cuties, and my hotties ♪ 297 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:19,633 ♪ Fifi on the track, you know Fifi on the track, let's go ♪ 298 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,925 ♪ No matter where you're from, boy You're the one, boy ♪ 299 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,429 ♪ International boy, global toy boy ♪ 300 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,602 ♪ You can get it in boy, I'm not coy boy ♪ 301 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,020 ♪ Worldwide roll call Baby, make some noise ♪ 302 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:30,984 Yeah! 303 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,560 ♪ Black, brown, white and down Asian boys, too ♪ 304 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,856 ♪ Though Asia is A full ass continent, my dude ♪ 305 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,150 ♪ I don't wanna be rude When I'm doin' my thang ♪ 306 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,864 ♪ So let me rep the countries Of the boys I wanna bang ♪ 307 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,862 ♪ Some from here Some from here ♪ 308 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,987 ♪ If you Chinese, Japanese From the Philippines ♪ 309 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,334 ♪ Or you Taiwanese, Nepalese Or Indonese, please ♪ 310 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,659 ♪ K-boys from Busan, flipping calamari ♪ 311 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,365 ♪ Got me twerkin' like I'm Turkish Which is in the Middle East ♪ 312 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,710 ♪ It's in the Middle East But it also straddles Asia ♪ 313 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,094 ♪ You know what else in Asia? ♪ 314 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,590 ♪ Macau and Malaysia, whoa ♪ 315 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,382 ♪ It make a bitch go woo ha! ♪ 316 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,625 ♪ Did you know Asia's The biggest continen-ta? ♪ 317 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,217 ♪ Yeah continen-tas ♪ 318 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,142 ♪ Check my condimen-tas Duck sauce, soy sauce ♪ 319 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,431 ♪ Pass the gochujang, brah ♪ 320 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,854 ♪ But this ain't about food Nah, this about a party ♪ 321 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,023 ♪ It's a party in my pants All the world's invited ♪ 322 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,354 ♪ There's so many hot boys Around the world ♪ 323 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,105 ♪ But first we gotta finish Asia It's really big ♪ 324 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,276 ♪ Asia's got the stans Not the fans but the lands ♪ 325 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,151 ♪ Pakistan, Afghanistan, Kyrzygstan ♪ 326 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,908 ♪ Yo my mans There's like 10 more of them ♪ 327 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,160 ♪ Even more I'm finna skip ♪ 328 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,831 ♪ Yo, I wish I had looked at a map ♪ 329 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,079 ♪ Before I started this ♪ 330 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,000 ♪ Tryna solve world peace Between my thighs ♪ 331 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,119 ♪ Now I get why other rappers Generalize guys ♪ 332 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,246 ♪ Too much work ♪ 333 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,712 ♪ Bein' PC for that D, I need a break ♪ 334 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,133 Can I sit down for minute? 335 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,921 [echoing voice] What about me, Fifi? 336 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,925 Oh, come on, I'm so tired. 337 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,179 No, Fifi. You have to do it, for the culture. 338 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,682 ♪ Algeria, Angola, Botswana, and Burundi ♪ 339 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,854 ♪ Benin, Chad, and Congo Cabo Verde, and Djibouti ♪ 340 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,103 ♪ Comoros, Cote D'Ivoire Burkini Faso, C.A.R. ♪ 341 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,725 ♪ Zambia, Libya Cameroon, get in my room! ♪ 342 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,773 ♪ Also, Ghana, Mali, Niger Egypt, Kenya, Lesotho ♪ 343 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,937 ♪ Ethiopia, Liberia, Sierra Leone ♪ 344 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,276 ♪ Gimme Guinea Guinea Bassau, Equatorial Guinea ♪ 345 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,861 ♪ Get those three and Gabon And Malawi up in me ♪ 346 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,067 ♪ Namibia, Nigeria, Eswanti, Mozambique ♪ 347 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,448 ♪ Togo, Senegal, Sudan, and South Sudan Y'all D's on fleek ♪ 348 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,655 ♪ I want more Mauritania ♪ 349 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,785 ♪ South Africa, Uganda ♪ 350 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:17,291 ♪ Get outta my dreams And get in my Madagascar ♪ 351 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,714 ♪ Mauritius and Rwanda, Tanzania? ♪ 352 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,753 ♪ You know I wanna ♪ 353 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:25,376 ♪ Morocco, Eritrea, Sao Tome Principe Gambia, Somalia, Tunisia, and Zimbabwe ♪ 354 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,836 ♪ All day, and we can't sleep On Seychelles ♪ 355 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,387 ♪ It's a worldwide party But I'm skipping everywhere else ♪ 356 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,347 ♪ It's a party for everybody ♪ 357 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,643 ♪ All my baddies, cuties, and my hotties ♪ 358 00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,728 I love me my international boys. 359 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,687 But I'm retiring from rap. I ain't about to do this shit again. 360 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,696 Okay. Bye-bye. 361 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:55,661 Whoo. See ya later. 362 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,419 All right. 363 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,881 Welcome everyone, to the local chapter of Fight Injustice Now. 364 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,763 If you look at the sheet that was handed out, it provides a... 365 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,548 I'm sorry, we typically save questions for the end-- 366 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,637 Hello, my name is Marcellus Trivvers, 367 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,684 and I took two classes at Morehouse College. 368 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,937 I am here to promote, emote, and showboat 369 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:22,060 for my black brothers and sisters. 370 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,607 Black Power! 371 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,863 Okay, welcome, Marcellus. 372 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:30,905 Please familiarize yourself with our organization's mission statement-- 373 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,330 There's no time for that. We got people dying in these streets. 374 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,370 We need to fight injustice now! 375 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:40,293 Fight injustice now! Fight injustice now! 376 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:44,004 [all chanting] Fight injustice now! 377 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,296 Yes, I know. Hence, our name. 378 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,762 So if you're finished with your statement, 379 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,552 we do need to move forward with the agenda-- 380 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,545 Give us free. 381 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,636 Give us free. 382 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:01,190 Give us free! 383 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,738 Alright, Amistad. 384 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,648 That's a cool movie, I guess. 385 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,119 Maybe we should save that energy for the street rally next-- 386 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,448 You heard the man. Get up, we taking it to the streets. 387 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,406 -Take it to the streets! -No. 388 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,745 -Please sit down. -Take it to the streets! 389 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,711 We are not taking it to the streets. 390 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,672 Don't be afraid of the police, brotha, we got strength in numbers. 391 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,764 I am not afraid of-- 392 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,876 The permit for the street rally is next Friday. 393 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:32,927 [all groaning] 394 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,720 Yeah, today we are reviewing city council's proposal. 395 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:41,190 I propose we fight systemic racism. Do you know what that is? 396 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:44,728 Yes, we all know what systemic racism is. 397 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:46,941 -I don't. -What? 398 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,401 Okay, look, the purpose of today's meeting-- 399 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,776 Less meetings, more action. 400 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:56,237 Less meetings, more action. 401 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,155 This is your first meeting. 402 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,213 We must elevate, participate, 403 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:04,878 appreciate, procreate, associate-- 404 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,668 Why are y'all clapping? He's not saying anything, he's just rhyming. 405 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,213 I like rhymes. 406 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:14,013 We all like rhymes. We all like marching, we all like charisma. But if we don't-- 407 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,683 ♪ Wade in the water ♪ 408 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,013 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 409 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,428 ♪ Wade in the water, children ♪ 410 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:29,398 ♪ Wade in the water Something's gonna getcha in the water ♪ 411 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,283 Stop it. Stop! 412 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,320 Stop singing Negro spirituals. 413 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,119 Why would you do that? 414 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,868 To lift our spirits from all this white oppression. 415 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,700 Educate yourself. 416 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,959 Educate my-- I am educated. Educate yourself, brotha. 417 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,712 He went to Morehouse. 418 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,383 Are you clapping for yourself? 419 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,632 Y'all gonna clap with him? 420 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,388 He started clappin' for himself. 421 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,508 The man started clappin' for himself. 422 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,715 Okay, that's enough. I said enough. 423 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,727 I'm not gonna let you sidetrack my agenda. 424 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,769 I'm the leader, 425 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,232 you are a vocal minority. 426 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,231 I'mma silence you. I'mma silence your voice. 427 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:12,903 Sit in the back. I said sit yo' black ass in the back, nigga. 428 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:13,985 [people gasping] 429 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,241 Okay, I see what I did there. 430 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:20,985 Irony, am I right? 431 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,542 I don't know what irony means. 432 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,540 Of course you don't. I'mma just leave. 433 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,706 Well, looks like we gotta lot of work to do, 434 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:35,085 but first things first, we need to get organized. 435 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,057 Did y'all know there isn't a white edit of the show? 436 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,103 Yeah, they really should've made that clearer. 437 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,940 There's a gay edit though. 438 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:51,654 I think. 439 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,692 Well, Caroline, this lemon Jell-O's pretty good. 440 00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,145 This is the mac and cheese. 441 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,527 Good God. 442 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,659 Nothing I ate made sense. 443 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,368 Corn tasted like meat. 444 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,368 Meat tasted like yogurt? For the culture. 445 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,543 Who's got room for some chitlins cake? 446 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,709 [all groaning] 447 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,881 Ain't nobody's momma made no chitlins cake! 448 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:14,252 -No! -No! 449 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,048 I'm doing the blackest I can. 450 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,637 I have beef with this food. 451 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,180 Oh! 452 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,011 That's right. I'm Canadian black, 453 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,723 so I'm hard, like Drake. 454 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,555 You and me food, we enemies. 455 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,944 -Yeah, Mo. -Yeah. 456 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,149 Wow. 457 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,109 She was trying to kill us. 458 00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,479 Hey, stop yelling at me. Okay, listen. 459 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:38,316 Okay, I spent 20 whole minutes 460 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,279 slaving away on that stove, okay? 461 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,485 Yes, I did, to prove my blackness to all of you. 462 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,750 You guys are ungrateful... 463 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,367 ni... 464 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,285 What? Say what? 465 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,424 -[Monique] Ni... -What? 466 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,625 -Come on say it. -Yes? 467 00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:56,415 Nincompoops! 468 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,215 Aww, Caroline. 469 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,469 Nigga, what? 470 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,756 I've never said the N-word before. 471 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,013 Caroline, it's not a competition. 472 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,807 Obviously I'm the blackest member. 473 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:12,727 Stop! 474 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,396 This is what the man wants. 475 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:21,779 Look, we all express our blackness in different ways. 476 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,160 Okay, that's what makes this team special, we're all different. 477 00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:28,076 Doesn't matter if you're from the hood, 478 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,161 or the suburbs, 479 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:32,672 Canada, 480 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,714 or... wherever James is from. 481 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,839 Yeah, where am I from? 482 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,884 Guys, Tane is right. 483 00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:44,715 You know what? 484 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,135 Let's blow out these candles. 485 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:50,853 But I wonder, what should we wish for? 486 00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:57,899 [all] For the culture. 487 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,403 Bruh, we better get an Image Award for this shit. 488 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:24,378 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 489 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,388 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 490 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,850 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 491 00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,850 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 492 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,193 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Now it's our time ♪ 493 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:36,769 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Here we come, we here ♪ 494 00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:38,975 -♪ Here we come, y'all ♪ -♪ With a brand-new style ♪ 495 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,606 -♪ Here we come, y'all ♪ -♪ Hit you with the first line, pow ♪ 496 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:44,243 ♪ Like ha, ha, hee, hee That's how you'll be ♪ 497 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,571 ♪ You won't resist When you turn on your TV ♪ 498 00:22:46,656 --> 00:22:49,276 ♪ A whole 'nother level With a brand-new swag ♪ 499 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,748 ♪ Lemme show you How we gon' get that bag ♪ 500 00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:54,288 ♪ You know we taking over Something's gotta give ♪ 501 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,713 ♪ Watch us run things Like we, like we, like we did ♪ 502 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,882 ♪ You know the vibe Clear the way, here we come ♪ 503 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,590 ♪ We be numero uno No comprende, number one ♪ 504 00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:03,381 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 505 00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,884 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 506 00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:08,426 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 507 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,887 ♪ Here we come, y'all Here we come ♪ 508 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,813 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Here we come ♪ 509 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:16,522 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ Here we come ♪ 510 00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,113 -♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪ -♪ So you better get good ♪ 511 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:21,439 ♪ Let's get it Get everybody now ♪ 512 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:24,605 -♪ It's going down ♪ -♪ It's about to be lit, and that's fact ♪ 513 00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:26,824 ♪ When we hit you With the first line, pow ♪ 39785