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1
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,720
[school bell rings]
2
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,102
Oh, man, I heard we have
a substitute teacher today.
3
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:15,139
Yeah, but it's probably gonna be lame.
4
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,766
Greetings and salutations.
5
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,521
[students] Katt Williams?
6
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,898
Okay, settle down, children.
7
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I said, settle down, children.
8
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,822
I am Katt Williams. I'll be your
substitute English teacher today, okay?
9
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,404
Wow.
10
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,027
[student] Whoa, he permed out.
11
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,494
But Katt, why are you our sub?
12
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,163
Your bitch ass English teacher,
Mr. Henson,
13
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,905
fell down three flights of stairs
and fractured his coccyx.
14
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,458
And I've got 109 hours
of community service
15
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,712
for robbing a Williams-Sonoma
at nun-point.
16
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,094
Dope! Wait,
17
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,131
don't you mean gunpoint?
18
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,303
I sure don't.
19
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:52,221
Now, today's lesson is on Shakespeare's
tragiclicious Romeo and Juliet.
20
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,262
Take out ya textbooks.
21
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,139
[students murmur]
22
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:57,562
They've been pimpified, okay.
23
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,480
Now, in the beginning, a bunch
of white people fightin'
24
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,150
'cause somebody done bit they thumb.
25
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,228
Now, I don't know what the problem is,
26
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:05,477
I really don't.
27
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,985
Maybe he had a nail-biting issue, boo-boo.
28
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:12,114
But these white people
lost they damn minds.
29
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,777
Never in the history of niggadom
has a nigga been more cold-blooded.
30
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,077
He just standing there, just...
31
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,082
"Is this nigga bitin' his thumb
right now?
32
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,332
Time to die, nigga,
33
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,663
time to die!
34
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,828
That's for Nee-Nee and them,
35
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,916
take that nigga,
36
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000
bite your thumb again."
37
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,797
Damn, that is cold-blooded.
38
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,220
I'm telling you little niggas,
39
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,798
Shakespeare's more savage
than when I once saw Suge Knight
40
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,184
body slam a cashier at a Del Taco
41
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,101
for saying the word "sconce."
42
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-Sconce.
-Sconce.
43
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,353
Now, Romeo's bitch ass,
he's all lovey and dovey
44
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,063
over some bitch named Rosalind. He just...
45
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,153
Oh! Oh!
46
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,983
He probably still smell her juices
on his fingers and shit.
47
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,068
[students groan]
48
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,454
And his friends, they just clownin' him,
they're just standing there,
49
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,581
"Hath she let ya hit it yet, Romeo?
Has she let you hit it?"
50
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,449
And he's over here just,
"Not yet cousin, not yet...
51
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,407
[sniffs]
52
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,906
...but I doth have hope, cousin."
53
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,037
So, Romeo is a pimp?
54
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,996
He sure is a pimp.
Fast Times at Nigmont High.
55
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,800
One page later, he meets Juliet,
56
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:14,341
and I guess Rosalind's just
"The Bitch That Time Forgot."
57
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,755
She just standin' there, just...
58
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,262
"What about...
59
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,886
what about me?"
60
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,559
Yeah, that's how they do.
61
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,100
Does he have to say "bitch" so much?
62
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,353
Romeo's bitch ass
63
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,104
put the pussy on a pedestal,
64
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,596
and then he got married.
65
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,570
That's why the nigga is dead today.
The end.
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00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,406
Katt, that was hella dope,
67
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,698
but the test just isn't
on Romeo and Juliet,
68
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,492
it's also on Taming of the Shrew.
69
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,736
That's about niggas keepin'
they bitch in check. Okay.
70
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,291
What about Twelfth Night?
71
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,081
The people of Verona can't tell
niggas apart
72
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,915
because white people
be trippin' like that.
73
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,630
-What about Othello?
-All the white people
74
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,880
hate the one black person in the room.
75
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,592
GreenBookWasn'tGood.
76
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,302
-Do Macbeth.
-When a bitch
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00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:57,512
got a weak ass nigga,
she will get that nigga killed.
78
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,644
-Hamlet.
-A white man loses his mind,
79
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:03,181
and then just goes on a killing spree,
traveling through Europe.
80
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,346
That's white privilege.
81
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,274
-[students] Oh, Katt.
-[bell rings]
82
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,192
I'm sorry,
83
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,610
that's the bell and that means
that's my time. Uh...
84
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,940
I have been Katt Williams, everybody.
85
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,815
Y'all can have a good nigh-- Oh.
86
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,279
I got seven more classes to do today?
87
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:19,741
Uh-uh. Take me to jail.
Take me to jail. Good night.
88
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:27,328
[students cheering] Katt! Katt!
89
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,425
-♪ Here we come now ♪
-♪ Now it's our time ♪
90
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:40,429
-♪ Here we come now ♪
-♪ Here we come, we here ♪
91
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,431
♪ Like ha, ha, hee, hee
That's how you'll be ♪
92
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,734
♪ You won't resist
When you turn on your TV ♪
93
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,308
♪ You know we taking over
Something's gotta give ♪
94
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,984
♪ Watch us run things
Like we did ♪
95
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,074
♪ You know the vibe
Clear the way, here we come ♪
96
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,649
♪ We be numero uno
No comprende, number one ♪
97
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,985
-♪ Here we come, y'all ♪
-♪ With a brand new style ♪
98
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,952
♪ Hit you with the first line, pow ♪
99
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:08,827
Y'all, where the delivery guy? I'm hungry.
100
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,379
I canceled it.
101
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:15,593
Oh, yes, I'm making everybody
a soul food feast. For the culture.
102
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,427
Sometimes I feel insecure
about my blackness.
103
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,351
So, I bought this book,
104
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:26,558
Soul Food For People Who Feel Insecure
About Their Blackness.
105
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,851
It's really powerful.
106
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,845
Making this show has made everyone
question what it means to be black.
107
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,112
Of course, Caroline's freaking out.
108
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,691
So, everyone's gonna
start getting defensive.
109
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,567
All right, I'mma make a sandwich
while we wait.
110
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,321
Damn it, Keisha you at
all the white bread.
111
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,117
So what! So what?
I had some white bread!
112
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,871
I've also had brown bread
113
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,003
and black bread and Filipino bread.
114
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I've had all kinds of bread!
115
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,205
Doesn't mean I'm thirsty for white bread!
116
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,133
Ain't nobody thirsty for no bread.
117
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,841
I live in a black neighborhood,
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00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,131
my hair is black, and I buy black.
119
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,755
So don't come at me
for having a white husband.
120
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,013
I don't know why Keisha's
being so defensive.
121
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,925
I have a white husband and it's fine.
122
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,850
All right we're gonna use that
for the "white edit" of the show, right?
123
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,904
For the rest, you know, we're just gonna
cut that out? For the culture.
124
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,363
[man] Uh, Monique,
we don't do a "white edit."
125
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,573
[Monique] Oh? Okay.
126
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,740
Anybody want a JB Smoothie?
127
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,204
Oh, okay.
128
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,529
Alright.
129
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,949
Yeah. Thank you.
130
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,703
Thank you. Cheers.
131
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,407
Well done, brother.
132
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,577
Gross, Caroline, what is in this?
133
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,205
Ham hock and black eyed peas.
134
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,292
-What?! Why?!
-No, why?!
135
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,303
I told you my palette is sensitive!
136
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,589
[overlapping shouts]
137
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,600
After the smoothies,
I was thirsty for bread.
138
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,720
Mmm!
139
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,516
For the culture.
140
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,435
Mm-hmm.
141
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,614
Son, we need to talk.
142
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,203
Your mother and I found this
on your laptop.
143
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,584
Oh God, this is my nightmare.
144
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:08,868
We're very disappointed in you.
145
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,411
We just... we never expected you
to do something like this.
146
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,206
I just watched a little porn.
Is it really that bad?
147
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,290
Son, there's nothing wrong
with watching porn.
148
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,173
-But, you're watching white porn.
-I'm sorry...
149
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,336
-Wait, did you say "white porn"?
-Damn right!
150
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:25,223
Look, every time a black person
watches white porn,
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00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,551
a black dick gets soft.
152
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:27,756
Is that what you really want?
153
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,102
Hmm?
154
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,810
Dad, porn is porn. I don't care what
color they are, all I see are titties--
155
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,142
Boy, we don't do white porn in this house!
156
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,188
Look, I watch black porn all the time.
157
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,649
I even keep a little thumb drive,
for emergencies.
158
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,943
Ain't no "No WiFi" stopping me.
159
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,317
[woman] Where you going?
The party's just getting started
160
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,405
in my white vagina.
161
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,485
See, that's what I'm talking about, okay?
162
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,825
Black people revolutionized,
the porn industry
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00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,501
and we ain't get no credit for it.
They stole it from us, son,
164
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:58,000
the same way Ryan Gosling stole jazz.
Never forget.
165
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:02,424
Okay, so you're okay if I watch porn,
so long as it's black porn?
166
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,085
Absolutely, black people been banging
for decades.
167
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,634
-Decades?
-Maybe more!
168
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:10,098
Dad, it's not that I only
like white porn,
169
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,019
it's just that white porn is pretty much
all there is on those sites.
170
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,639
Son, let me learn you somethin',
171
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,403
we got plenty of classics
people never talk about.
172
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,768
Did someone say “classics?”
173
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:21,649
-[mother chuckling]
-Ohh...
174
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,322
Help me, Black Jesus.
175
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,451
We were waiting to pass this
down 'til you were ready,
176
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,608
ready for all this black sex-cellence.
177
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,367
Here are some of our personal favorites.
178
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,700
Malcum XXX.
179
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,289
-12 Inches a Slave.
-[imitates whip cracking]
180
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,622
The Tuskegee Semen.
181
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:39,998
We saw that in the theater.
182
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,554
Guess Who's Cumming to Dinner?
It's everyone.
183
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,467
Bukkake Panther Party, Hidden Fingers,
Girth of a Nation.
184
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:51,890
-Go Fuck It On the Mountain--
-Why is there so much?
185
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,511
Eyes On Them Thighs.
186
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,810
Glory... Hole,
187
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,397
Rose Wood, Antwone Fist Him,
When We Were Kinky,
188
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,651
-A Raisin in the Puss--
-Stop!
189
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,151
Stop, okay,
I think I'm starting to get it.
190
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,653
Speaking of self care,
191
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,645
you need to take better care of yourself.
192
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,907
You're in here jerkin' it with Jergens
like you don't love yourself.
193
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,871
You gotta use some cocoa butter.
194
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,581
It'll leave your dick smooth
and smelling like an Atlanta stripper.
195
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,962
Okay, I really didn't need all that.
196
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,285
I just wanted to watch
a little porn, that's all.
197
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,337
It's about representation.
198
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,261
Black pornstars aren't treated equally
with their white counterparts.
199
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,179
A person can choose
not to work with someone
200
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,971
based on the color of their skin.
201
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,637
Oh, I never thought about it like that.
202
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,558
But now I don't even know
if I can watch black porn.
203
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,806
I don't wanna see black women
degraded that way.
204
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,398
Son, be the change you wanna see
in this world.
205
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,533
Are you telling me to be a porn star?
206
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:54,162
No, son, we're telling you
to be a black porn star.
207
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,752
-You're my little black porn star.
-I want to see that dick.
208
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,421
[announcer] And the award
for Best Director goes to...
209
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,093
Barry Jerkings for Poonlight.
210
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:06,548
[applause]
211
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:07,589
This is my truth.
212
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,966
My parents always told me...
black porn only.
213
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,806
I'm a surf instructor.
Do you like the beach?
214
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,397
I don't know, I've never been.
215
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,113
Gross.
216
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,202
[announcer] Tina Simmons
always had trouble connecting with men,
217
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,359
until one day...
218
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,526
I just wish I understood how they thought.
219
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,986
...something magical happened.
220
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,041
Ma'am? Ma'am? Are you okay?
221
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,002
I think so.
222
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,711
[waiter] Wow, this clumsy girl
is really cute!
223
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,002
Oh, my God, I can hear your thoughts!
224
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,506
[announcer]
She could hear men's thoughts.
225
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,419
What?
226
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,130
[announcer]
At first, her friends didn't believe her.
227
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,087
Tina, I'm not joking around here.
228
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,807
You have a concussion,
and you need to see a neurologist.
229
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,808
No, you have to believe me,
I can hear men's innermost thoughts.
230
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,807
He's thinking about
how cute I look right now.
231
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:05,809
No Inglés.
232
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,652
That's it, I'm taking you to the E.R.
233
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,613
[announcer] But then, something
even more magical happened.
234
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,485
[Tina] Oh, shit.
235
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,115
Tina, Tina, are you okay?
236
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:21,245
Crystal, you look like a supermodel.
237
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,959
I guess I'm seeing your
inner beauty as your--
238
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,920
[announcer] She could see people's
inner beauty as their outer beauty.
239
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,051
Alright, that's actually pretty insulting.
240
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,088
After all, dating in New York can be hard.
241
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,473
What seems to be the problem?
242
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,009
She thinks getting hit in the head
is giving her magical powers.
243
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:37,677
This could be serious--
244
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:44,354
Oh, my God, I'm a grown woman
trapped in a young girl's body.
245
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,475
Okay, we need to get her
into surgery right away.
246
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,361
But sometimes,
just when you think all is lost...
247
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,489
Well, Tina, it was touch and go
for a minute,
248
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,199
but we were able
to stop the hemorrhaging.
249
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,369
-Oh, good.
-There's just one problem.
250
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,698
-What?
-We need to figure out where to go...
251
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,703
on our date tonight.
252
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,708
You find you have everything to gain.
253
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:07,996
It's a date.
254
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,089
I'm so sorry,
255
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,134
the brain can only take so much.
256
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,091
You did your best, Doctor.
257
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:21,305
I'm afraid there's just one more
decision we have to make.
258
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,219
What's that?
259
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,177
Where I'm going to take you out...
260
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,805
on our date tonight.
261
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,404
Ahh! Wow!
262
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,440
[Crystal]
Oh, these flowers are so beautiful.
263
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,114
[doctor] For a beautiful lady.
264
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,322
-I think I love you.
-No, I love you.
265
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,449
[phone ringing]
266
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,414
Hello, this is Jonathan Braylock speaking.
267
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,373
Yo, wassup, fam?
268
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,956
Yeah, how you livin', cuz?
Nah, I'm good, brah,
269
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,632
I'm just hangin' with the homies.
270
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,261
I grew up in a white suburb,
and won my family's spades tournament.
271
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,974
Yea, I can code switch.
272
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,929
James, you haven't tried
your hog maw muffin.
273
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:00,465
You're right.
274
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,970
Yeah, I could definitely be blacker.
275
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,056
Guess I gotta eat these pig colon muffins.
276
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,188
-James.
-Whoa.
277
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,692
Hey, everybody, this is Peppers,
278
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,693
my dick appointment for this episode.
279
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,315
-Oh, hi.
-Nice to meet you.
280
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,913
My blackness is intersectional,
'cause I'm half Puerto Rican.
281
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,989
-[phone chimes]
-'Scuse me.
282
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:22,914
Okay.
283
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,834
I met this guy in WeHo last night.
284
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,044
I'm 'bout to intersect that ass.
Oh, can we put that in the "gay edit"?
285
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,210
For the culture.
286
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:38,469
[speaking in Spanish]
287
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,046
I--
288
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,088
People think I'm Mexican,
289
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,310
Puerto Rican, Dominican, Samoan, Tongan...
290
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,809
[chuckles] Korean.
291
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,141
I once had an agent tell me
I look like an Asian Kevin Spacey.
292
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,977
But, I'm black,
293
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,062
and Native American,
294
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:59,396
and Mexican, Puerto Rican, Dominican,
Korean, Sephardic Jew.
295
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,826
Fifi on the track.
296
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:14,461
♪ It's a party for everybody
All my baddies, cuties, and my hotties ♪
297
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:19,633
♪ Fifi on the track, you know
Fifi on the track, let's go ♪
298
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,925
♪ No matter where you're from, boy
You're the one, boy ♪
299
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,429
♪ International boy, global toy boy ♪
300
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,602
♪ You can get it in boy, I'm not coy boy ♪
301
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,020
♪ Worldwide roll call
Baby, make some noise ♪
302
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:30,984
Yeah!
303
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,560
♪ Black, brown, white and down
Asian boys, too ♪
304
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,856
♪ Though Asia is
A full ass continent, my dude ♪
305
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,150
♪ I don't wanna be rude
When I'm doin' my thang ♪
306
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,864
♪ So let me rep the countries
Of the boys I wanna bang ♪
307
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,862
♪ Some from here
Some from here ♪
308
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,987
♪ If you Chinese, Japanese
From the Philippines ♪
309
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,334
♪ Or you Taiwanese, Nepalese
Or Indonese, please ♪
310
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,659
♪ K-boys from Busan, flipping calamari ♪
311
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,365
♪ Got me twerkin' like I'm Turkish
Which is in the Middle East ♪
312
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,710
♪ It's in the Middle East
But it also straddles Asia ♪
313
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,094
♪ You know what else in Asia? ♪
314
00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,590
♪ Macau and Malaysia, whoa ♪
315
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,382
♪ It make a bitch go woo ha! ♪
316
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,625
♪ Did you know Asia's
The biggest continen-ta? ♪
317
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,217
♪ Yeah continen-tas ♪
318
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,142
♪ Check my condimen-tas
Duck sauce, soy sauce ♪
319
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,431
♪ Pass the gochujang, brah ♪
320
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,854
♪ But this ain't about food
Nah, this about a party ♪
321
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,023
♪ It's a party in my pants
All the world's invited ♪
322
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,354
♪ There's so many hot boys
Around the world ♪
323
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,105
♪ But first we gotta finish Asia
It's really big ♪
324
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,276
♪ Asia's got the stans
Not the fans but the lands ♪
325
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,151
♪ Pakistan, Afghanistan, Kyrzygstan ♪
326
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,908
♪ Yo my mans
There's like 10 more of them ♪
327
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,160
♪ Even more I'm finna skip ♪
328
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,831
♪ Yo, I wish I had looked at a map ♪
329
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,079
♪ Before I started this ♪
330
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,000
♪ Tryna solve world peace
Between my thighs ♪
331
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,119
♪ Now I get why other rappers
Generalize guys ♪
332
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,246
♪ Too much work ♪
333
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,712
♪ Bein' PC for that D, I need a break ♪
334
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,133
Can I sit down for minute?
335
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,921
[echoing voice]
What about me, Fifi?
336
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,925
Oh, come on, I'm so tired.
337
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,179
No, Fifi. You have to do it,
for the culture.
338
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,682
♪ Algeria, Angola, Botswana, and Burundi ♪
339
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,854
♪ Benin, Chad, and Congo
Cabo Verde, and Djibouti ♪
340
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,103
♪ Comoros, Cote D'Ivoire
Burkini Faso, C.A.R. ♪
341
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,725
♪ Zambia, Libya
Cameroon, get in my room! ♪
342
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,773
♪ Also, Ghana, Mali, Niger
Egypt, Kenya, Lesotho ♪
343
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,937
♪ Ethiopia, Liberia, Sierra Leone ♪
344
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,276
♪ Gimme Guinea
Guinea Bassau, Equatorial Guinea ♪
345
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,861
♪ Get those three and Gabon
And Malawi up in me ♪
346
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,067
♪ Namibia, Nigeria, Eswanti, Mozambique ♪
347
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,448
♪ Togo, Senegal, Sudan, and South Sudan
Y'all D's on fleek ♪
348
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,655
♪ I want more Mauritania ♪
349
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,785
♪ South Africa, Uganda ♪
350
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:17,291
♪ Get outta my dreams
And get in my Madagascar ♪
351
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,714
♪ Mauritius and Rwanda, Tanzania? ♪
352
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,753
♪ You know I wanna ♪
353
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:25,376
♪ Morocco, Eritrea, Sao Tome Principe
Gambia, Somalia, Tunisia, and Zimbabwe ♪
354
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,836
♪ All day, and we can't sleep
On Seychelles ♪
355
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,387
♪ It's a worldwide party
But I'm skipping everywhere else ♪
356
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,347
♪ It's a party for everybody ♪
357
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,643
♪ All my baddies, cuties, and my hotties ♪
358
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,728
I love me my international boys.
359
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,687
But I'm retiring from rap.
I ain't about to do this shit again.
360
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,696
Okay. Bye-bye.
361
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:55,661
Whoo. See ya later.
362
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,419
All right.
363
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,881
Welcome everyone, to the local chapter
of Fight Injustice Now.
364
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,763
If you look at the sheet that was
handed out, it provides a...
365
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,548
I'm sorry, we typically
save questions for the end--
366
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,637
Hello, my name is Marcellus Trivvers,
367
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,684
and I took two classes
at Morehouse College.
368
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,937
I am here to promote, emote, and showboat
369
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:22,060
for my black brothers and sisters.
370
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,607
Black Power!
371
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,863
Okay, welcome, Marcellus.
372
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:30,905
Please familiarize yourself with
our organization's mission statement--
373
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,330
There's no time for that.
We got people dying in these streets.
374
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,370
We need to fight injustice now!
375
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:40,293
Fight injustice now!
Fight injustice now!
376
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:44,004
[all chanting]
Fight injustice now!
377
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,296
Yes, I know. Hence, our name.
378
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,762
So if you're finished
with your statement,
379
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,552
we do need to move forward
with the agenda--
380
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,545
Give us free.
381
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,636
Give us free.
382
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:01,190
Give us free!
383
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,738
Alright, Amistad.
384
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,648
That's a cool movie, I guess.
385
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,119
Maybe we should save that energy
for the street rally next--
386
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,448
You heard the man.
Get up, we taking it to the streets.
387
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,406
-Take it to the streets!
-No.
388
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,745
-Please sit down.
-Take it to the streets!
389
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,711
We are not taking it to the streets.
390
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,672
Don't be afraid of the police, brotha,
we got strength in numbers.
391
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,764
I am not afraid of--
392
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,876
The permit for the street rally
is next Friday.
393
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:32,927
[all groaning]
394
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,720
Yeah, today we are reviewing
city council's proposal.
395
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:41,190
I propose we fight systemic racism.
Do you know what that is?
396
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:44,728
Yes, we all know what systemic racism is.
397
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:46,941
-I don't.
-What?
398
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,401
Okay, look, the purpose
of today's meeting--
399
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,776
Less meetings, more action.
400
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:56,237
Less meetings, more action.
401
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,155
This is your first meeting.
402
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,213
We must elevate, participate,
403
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:04,878
appreciate, procreate, associate--
404
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,668
Why are y'all clapping? He's not saying
anything, he's just rhyming.
405
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,213
I like rhymes.
406
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:14,013
We all like rhymes. We all like marching,
we all like charisma. But if we don't--
407
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,683
♪ Wade in the water ♪
408
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,013
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
409
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,428
♪ Wade in the water, children ♪
410
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:29,398
♪ Wade in the water
Something's gonna getcha in the water ♪
411
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,283
Stop it. Stop!
412
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,320
Stop singing Negro spirituals.
413
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,119
Why would you do that?
414
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,868
To lift our spirits
from all this white oppression.
415
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,700
Educate yourself.
416
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,959
Educate my-- I am educated.
Educate yourself, brotha.
417
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,712
He went to Morehouse.
418
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,383
Are you clapping for yourself?
419
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,632
Y'all gonna clap with him?
420
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,388
He started clappin' for himself.
421
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,508
The man started clappin' for himself.
422
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,715
Okay, that's enough. I said enough.
423
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,727
I'm not gonna let you sidetrack my agenda.
424
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,769
I'm the leader,
425
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,232
you are a vocal minority.
426
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,231
I'mma silence you.
I'mma silence your voice.
427
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:12,903
Sit in the back. I said sit yo'
black ass in the back, nigga.
428
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:13,985
[people gasping]
429
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,241
Okay, I see what I did there.
430
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:20,985
Irony, am I right?
431
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,542
I don't know what irony means.
432
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,540
Of course you don't. I'mma just leave.
433
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,706
Well, looks like we gotta lot
of work to do,
434
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:35,085
but first things first,
we need to get organized.
435
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,057
Did y'all know there isn't
a white edit of the show?
436
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,103
Yeah, they really should've
made that clearer.
437
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,940
There's a gay edit though.
438
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:51,654
I think.
439
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,692
Well, Caroline,
this lemon Jell-O's pretty good.
440
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,145
This is the mac and cheese.
441
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,527
Good God.
442
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,659
Nothing I ate made sense.
443
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,368
Corn tasted like meat.
444
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,368
Meat tasted like yogurt? For the culture.
445
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,543
Who's got room for some chitlins cake?
446
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,709
[all groaning]
447
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,881
Ain't nobody's momma made
no chitlins cake!
448
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:14,252
-No!
-No!
449
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,048
I'm doing the blackest I can.
450
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,637
I have beef with this food.
451
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,180
Oh!
452
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,011
That's right. I'm Canadian black,
453
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,723
so I'm hard, like Drake.
454
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,555
You and me food, we enemies.
455
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,944
-Yeah, Mo.
-Yeah.
456
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,149
Wow.
457
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,109
She was trying to kill us.
458
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,479
Hey, stop yelling at me. Okay, listen.
459
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:38,316
Okay, I spent 20 whole minutes
460
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,279
slaving away on that stove, okay?
461
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,485
Yes, I did, to prove my blackness
to all of you.
462
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,750
You guys are ungrateful...
463
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,367
ni...
464
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,285
What? Say what?
465
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,424
-[Monique] Ni...
-What?
466
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,625
-Come on say it.
-Yes?
467
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:56,415
Nincompoops!
468
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,215
Aww, Caroline.
469
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,469
Nigga, what?
470
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,756
I've never said the N-word before.
471
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,013
Caroline, it's not a competition.
472
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,807
Obviously I'm the blackest member.
473
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:12,727
Stop!
474
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,396
This is what the man wants.
475
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:21,779
Look, we all express our blackness
in different ways.
476
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,160
Okay, that's what makes this team special,
we're all different.
477
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:28,076
Doesn't matter if you're from the hood,
478
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,161
or the suburbs,
479
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:32,672
Canada,
480
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,714
or... wherever James is from.
481
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,839
Yeah, where am I from?
482
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,884
Guys, Tane is right.
483
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:44,715
You know what?
484
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,135
Let's blow out these candles.
485
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:50,853
But I wonder, what should we wish for?
486
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:57,899
[all] For the culture.
487
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,403
Bruh, we better get
an Image Award for this shit.
488
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:24,378
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
489
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,388
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
490
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,850
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
491
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,850
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
492
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,193
-♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪
-♪ Now it's our time ♪
493
00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:36,769
-♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪
-♪ Here we come, we here ♪
494
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:38,975
-♪ Here we come, y'all ♪
-♪ With a brand-new style ♪
495
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,606
-♪ Here we come, y'all ♪
-♪ Hit you with the first line, pow ♪
496
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:44,243
♪ Like ha, ha, hee, hee
That's how you'll be ♪
497
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,571
♪ You won't resist
When you turn on your TV ♪
498
00:22:46,656 --> 00:22:49,276
♪ A whole 'nother level
With a brand-new swag ♪
499
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,748
♪ Lemme show you
How we gon' get that bag ♪
500
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:54,288
♪ You know we taking over
Something's gotta give ♪
501
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,713
♪ Watch us run things
Like we, like we, like we did ♪
502
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,882
♪ You know the vibe
Clear the way, here we come ♪
503
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,590
♪ We be numero uno
No comprende, number one ♪
504
00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:03,381
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
505
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,884
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
506
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:08,426
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
507
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,887
♪ Here we come, y'all
Here we come ♪
508
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,813
-♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪
-♪ Here we come ♪
509
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:16,522
-♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪
-♪ Here we come ♪
510
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,113
-♪ Here we come, y'all, here we come ♪
-♪ So you better get good ♪
511
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:21,439
♪ Let's get it
Get everybody now ♪
512
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:24,605
-♪ It's going down ♪
-♪ It's about to be lit, and that's fact ♪
513
00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:26,824
♪ When we hit you
With the first line, pow ♪
39784
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