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1
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[Sirens wailing]
2
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,091
[Door opens]
3
00:00:07,592 --> 00:00:10,595
- What happened?
- Betadine, saline and a suture kit.
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,389
- What happened?
- She cut herself. An accident.
5
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,809
- I've got this.
- How much blood has she lost?
6
00:00:16,893 --> 00:00:19,729
- Alex.
- She's fine. I've got this.
7
00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,773
[Derek] Given the situation,
8
00:00:22,899 --> 00:00:26,277
I'd understand if you didn't
want to proceed with surgery.
9
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,322
But we did learn from Jeremy,
10
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:33,034
and the formulation of the
cocktail will be adjusted.
11
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:36,287
- We have not had a positive outcome.
- [Man] Liz?
12
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,123
I want to take her home.
13
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,876
- I understand.
- No. I want the surgery.
14
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,294
[Sobs] Honey.
15
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:47,965
- Honey, that's the grief talking.
- I want the surgery today.
16
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:52,678
Well, there are no other
clinical trials out there.
17
00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:55,723
No one else has any answers.
18
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,392
- Dr Shepherd has worked hard on this.
- Meredith.
19
00:00:58,476 --> 00:01:03,105
We're not letting you have surgery
because you want to die with Jeremy.
20
00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:05,733
If I go home, I die.
21
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,736
I die in a few weeks, a few days.
22
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,489
I don't want to lose you.
23
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,078
Mom, you won't.
24
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,997
- Because I'm not finished.
- [Liz sniffs]
25
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:25,336
Daddy. He loved me.
26
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,464
Yeah, you know,
Jeremy really loved me.
27
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:33,844
And he'd be so mad if...
If I just gave up.
28
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:39,934
Please. Do the surgery today.
29
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,650
[Exhales]
30
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,236
- [Laughter]
- Lola, Andrew's asking for you.
31
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,862
Could you come with me, please?
32
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,369
Hey, um, is... is he 0k?
33
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,330
No, he's not ok.
He's stuck in a block of cement.
34
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:05,918
Hardening-by-the-second,
concrete cement. How could he be?
35
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,216
Wow, you care about him.
36
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,555
[Whispers] He's my friend.
37
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:21,976
I... I know I told you he wasn't,
but he's my friend.
38
00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:25,229
I think he's more than that.
39
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:30,651
And I think you're too proud to admit it
to your friends, and maybe to yourself.
40
00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:33,321
[Man] Mommy, I have a boo-boo.
Kiss it better.
41
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:38,659
- [Smacks]
- Hey, he is in pain, he is scared,
42
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:41,954
and he needs someone he knows
to hold his hand.
43
00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:44,915
[Man] Lola, hold my hand.
44
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,837
Screw what they think. This matters.
45
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,464
They don't.
46
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,676
I can't help him.
47
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,974
You're gonna hate yourself for this.
48
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,518
Later.
49
00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:07,938
You're gonna hate yourself for this,
and you'll be right.
50
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,200
- Don't think this looks right.
- Cristina is dyslexic,
51
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:22,661
but she got straight a's during
school and has a Ph.D. amazing.
52
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:26,540
- Eight letters of recommendation.
- This look right? How you found 'em?
53
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:29,377
Izzie went to college at night.
Six years to graduate,
54
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,380
volunteered as a candystriper.
Patients wrote letters of rec.
55
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,924
- [Whispers] Gotta get outta here.
- [Spills]
56
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:41,180
And Alex, he wrote this essay to get in,
this moving, beautiful essay
57
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:45,559
about how his grades weren't that good.
He was suffering from testicular cancer.
58
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:46,685
- [Thuds]
- Ow! What?
59
00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,604
He lost a ball. I've seen him naked.
60
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,732
He has two mangerines,
two pouch potatoes. He lied.
61
00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:54,985
- Stop telling me information.
- One point. Just one point.
62
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,571
- How can they keep you back?
- Forget about it!
63
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,323
Photographic memory! I can't.
64
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,703
- We'll get it right with Beth.
- She lost the love of her life.
65
00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:07,748
- You encourage her to surgery?
- Encourage her not to?
66
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:11,085
Not me with the big ego, it's you.
You backed me into a corner.
67
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:14,088
- What was I supposed to do? I can't.
- Derek.
68
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,882
- She's a kid.
- Who's gonna die without surgery.
69
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:19,301
She'll die with surgery.
What you and I do.
70
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,887
We kill things over
and over and over again.
71
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:26,100
We've killed 12 people, and now,
because of you, I will kill a 13th.
72
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,768
Surgery's over, we're done.
73
00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:31,063
Don't wanna work with you,
see you, talk to you. We're done.
74
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,864
[Strains]
75
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,702
[Grunts]
76
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,496
0k, Andy, we're ready to begin.
77
00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,874
[Groans] Wait. Is she...?
78
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,626
- Lola?
- She... I couldn't find her.
79
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:55,129
She went to eat or something.
80
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,631
[Bailey] We need to start the catheter.
81
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:01,343
0k. Now,
you're gonna feel some pressure.
82
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,264
She didn't go to eat.
She just didn't want to come, right?
83
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:06,724
- {gasps} - [Clanks]
84
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,811
[Shudders] Lola likes
to hang out with me.
85
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,983
Before I did this.
86
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,319
Once, she almost...
87
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:22,031
There coulda been a kiss,
88
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,991
but I chickened out.
89
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,494
Well, maybe you don't
need to be kissing her.
90
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:30,164
No, I do. I do.
I do need to be kissing her.
91
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:33,417
- My whole life is about kissing her.
- [Bailey] Catheter's in.
92
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,753
Guys are on their
last piece of cement.
93
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:40,341
[Andrew shudders] Thank god.
The hard part's over, right?
94
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,761
- The hard part's over?
- [Richard] Get a crash cart ready.
95
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:49,183
I've got calcium, d-50 and Insulin.
96
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,936
- Ready.
- The hard part is over?
97
00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:56,190
0k, there is a chance
98
00:05:56,273 --> 00:06:00,277
that when the nice gentlemen take off
the final piece of cement
99
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:04,240
there, on your abdomen,
the toxins that have been building up
100
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:08,702
underneath the concrete will rush
to your heart, and you'll crash.
101
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:12,831
You... your heart will stop,
and you'll stop breathing.
102
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:17,419
But, no, there's no need to make that
face because we will restart your heart,
103
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:21,382
and we will put in a tube that will
breathe for you and rush you to the or.
104
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:27,012
We are good at what we do. Just,
if you see the warm, welcoming light,
105
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,807
- do not go into it.
- [Whimpers]
106
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,103
Let's go.
107
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,564
[Richard] 0k, we're gonna do this
on three.
108
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,816
- 0k. One.
- Watch the leads.
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00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,818
Two.
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00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,321
Three.
111
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,700
[Grunting]
112
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,664
- [Richard] There he goes.
- [Mark] Clear his airway.
113
00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:57,376
[Richard] All right. One.
114
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,296
Two. Three.
115
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:03,966
- Easy, easy, easy.
- [Callie] Push the iidocaine.
116
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,719
- [Richard] Bailey.
- [Bailey] Got the intubation.
117
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:07,845
[Richard] Go.
118
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:13,892
I don't know what you mean
when you say she didn't want to die.
119
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:18,022
When you were sitting on the floor with
your mother, what did she say to you?
120
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:23,611
She told me to be extraordinary.
She said that she had failed,
121
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:27,656
but that I should be extraordinary,
that I shouldn't depend on anyone.
122
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:32,745
"Be an extraordinary woman,"
is what she said.
123
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:35,956
And so you became a surgeon,
just like her.
124
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,292
- Yes.
- Which means you have all the tools
125
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,336
- to figure this out.
- But I just...
126
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,172
- You need to work this through.
- [Exhales]
127
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:46,300
I promise you, when you do,
you're gonna be glad.
128
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,553
[J' Jon foreman: The cure for pain]
129
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,566
- My head is exploding.
- Make it uneprode.
130
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:06,153
- Are... are you mad at me?
- No.
131
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,947
- Why talk to me in that voice?
- There's no voice.
132
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,575
There's a voice.
And I did you a favour.
133
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:15,162
You didn't do me a favour.
You made it clear that I'm still me.
134
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,039
The almost guy.
135
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,668
All that separates me from
the rest of my class is one point?
136
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:24,338
It would've been ok if it was 50 points
or even ten points, but one?
137
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,759
That means it was right there, it was
in my hand, and I let it slip away.
138
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,178
I didn't want to know that.
Do you get that?
139
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,682
That knowing that if I had just
checked a instead of b,
140
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:38,686
one point separates me from freedom.
I have been running my tail off,
141
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:42,398
busting my ass to make up
for one lousy point,
142
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,608
proving...
143
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,072
You didn't do me a favour.
Don't kid yourself.
144
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:57,371
At least now you know
you have what it takes. [Chuckles]
145
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,956
Yeah.
146
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:06,046
This arm's almost bandaged, then we're
gonna move to the other one, ok?
147
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:10,592
I've prescribed her alprazolam
and clonazepam.
148
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:14,263
Psych will be down,
but it'd be good to keep her calm.
149
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,891
She doesn't need any drugs or any psych.
150
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,562
She needs a psych consult
to be admitted.
151
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,230
- Not admitting her.
- Not taking her.
152
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:27,067
- I was watching her every minute.
- You shouldn't have to watch her.
153
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:29,695
You're not on today so she was
admitted under my name,
154
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,865
which means I decide the treatment.
She needs to be put on hold...
155
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:35,534
Damn it! Leave us alone,
you stupid bitch.
156
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,091
[Sn iffs]
157
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:54,595
You're supposed to sit down.
That's what the breaks are for.
158
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,432
- We're on our feet. Rest your legs.
- My legs are good.
159
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:02,436
Inappropriate, don't you think,
thinking about sex during surgery?
160
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,105
Just saying what
I've been witnessing a" day.
161
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:08,275
This poor kid's entire body
was encased in cement.
162
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,987
His legs are crushed, his vessels
and nerves cut off completely,
163
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,783
and still... I was turned on.
164
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:19,828
This entire time I've been turned on
because of you and your dirty talk.
165
00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:24,041
It wasn't my dirty talk.
It's what I was dirty talking about.
166
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:27,419
- [Laughs] What?
- Erica. You and Erica.
167
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,255
[Scoffs] No. That's...
168
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:31,423
- No.
- Callie.
169
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,300
- What?
- It's ok.
170
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,053
I wish I was all someone thought about.
171
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,395
You had 14 letters of recommendation.
172
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:54,321
Cristina had eight, Meredith had four,
Izzie had ten. But you had 14.
173
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:58,700
The words used to describe you...
Nobody had recommendations like yours.
174
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:02,621
People said the others were smart,
they said they were hard workers,
175
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,999
they said that they were good.
But your letters?
176
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,918
They said you were great.
177
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,546
They spoke of kindness,
attention to detail.
178
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:14,466
They talked about how hard you try,
and that you never give up.
179
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:18,428
They painted a picture of the kind
of doctor that I hope to become.
180
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:22,224
It was an honour to read those letters,
because now I know that what
181
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,519
separates you from the others
isn't one stupid point.
182
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,814
What separates you from the others
is greatness.
183
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,569
So don't you dare let
one point hold you back.
184
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,454
[Whirring]
185
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,791
I'm covered in blood. Talk fast.
186
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:52,045
Alex brought Rebecca in. She tried to
hurt herself. He's taking Rebecca home.
187
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,423
- And?
- She needs to be admitted.
188
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,550
- She needs a psych consult.
- And?
189
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,595
- Can you just do your job?
- I am doing my job.
190
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:04,099
I'm helping a 19-year-old man that I
promised would get to live, get to live.
191
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:08,186
That's my job as a surgeon. I took
my son to day-care when I came in.
192
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,564
My job as a mother. I'm asking you,
193
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:14,443
what are you going to do about your
patient? My job as chief resident.
194
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:17,654
- How about you do your job?
- I can't.
195
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:21,283
- I don't know what to do.
- Stevens. She's your patient.
196
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:25,913
He's... her loved one.
Come on, you know what to do.
197
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:27,497
It's just hard to do it.
198
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,836
- Ok, I'll try.
- No, you don't have to try.
199
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,548
You're a doctor trained by me,
with all the skills that god gave you.
200
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:38,467
You have everything you need.
201
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,890
Each one teach one.
202
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,600
[Door opens]
203
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,353
- Where are we?
- Sloan, hahn and torres are done.
204
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,521
- We're up.
- [Cristina] Unclamped the vein.
205
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,024
- Blood row is good to the liver.
- [Door closes]
206
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:57,736
- Right, chief?
- Absqutely right. Good job.
207
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,822
- [Bailey] Good, then we're ready to...
- [Monitor beeping]
208
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,702
[J' Adele: Hometown glory]
209
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,960
[Exhales]
210
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:16,505
I think I liked it better when you
were saying boring science stuff.
211
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,674
[Laughs softly]
212
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,971
I'm never good enough.
213
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,849
No matter what I say or what I do.
214
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,895
I never wanted to do this.
215
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:36,316
This clinical trial
is making me a failure.
216
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:45,200
I fail her over and over and over.
217
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,913
You mean "them".
218
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:56,086
When you say, "fail her",
you mean, "fail them".
219
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,714
The patients.
220
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,857
He's gonna need an embolectomy.
Call hahn back here.
221
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,610
- A clot in the right pulmonary artery.
- I could get to it.
222
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,738
- Hahn will assess him.
- I can get to it.
223
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:26,074
The lung retracts,
leaving the area for embolectomy clear.
224
00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:29,286
He's already severely compromised.
We'd waste time,
225
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:32,873
time his brain won't be perfusing.
It'll take me seconds.
226
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,542
I've done it before. With Burke.
227
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,129
I promised this kid he'd live.
228
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,800
Dr Bailey, take over cpr.
229
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,511
Yang, I'm right here if you need me.
230
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,817
[Door opens]
231
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,323
[Exhales]
232
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,578
You don't have to do this.
233
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,165
- Come on. What are you, scared?
- Yes.
234
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,503
Me, too.
235
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:24,633
So let's just leap. Ok?
236
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,684
[Inhales]
237
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,520
[Exhales]
238
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,523
[Door opens]
239
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,944
- What happened?
- He threw a pe.
240
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,363
Yang would be the best person
to open him up?
241
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,533
- She's a cardiac savant.
- Is that why she went through
242
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:53,078
- the fourth intercostal space?
- Couldn't get in through fifth.
243
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,581
- Gauze pushing the diaphragm up.
- This could be easier
244
00:15:56,665 --> 00:16:00,001
- under quoro.
- Already had the tee. I'm doing fine.
245
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:02,629
Reach it better...
Forget it. I'll do it.
246
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,464
- Gown, please.
- I've got this.
247
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:07,843
- No, if you had done it...
- Just shut up and let me work.
248
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,180
Let her work, dr hahn.
249
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:28,655
Shepherd scheduled two craniotomies
for the clinical trial today?
250
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,409
- Yes, we lost the first one...
- I told Meredith one patient.
251
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,954
- Dr grey said she cleared it with you.
- Did she?
252
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:43,253
- I... sir, I might be mistaken.
- I don't think you are.
253
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:52,387
- She's holding steady.
- The icp's 13.
254
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,890
- We'll see.
- Derek.
255
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:59,895
She's still alive.
We've gotten this far.
256
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:03,607
- She's still alive.
- For how long?
257
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,693
- You can go.
- I'll stay with her.
258
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:10,906
No, it's just... I'll do it. You can go.
259
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,799
[Sighs]
260
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,469
Yang erw solo,
261
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,640
and you should be celebrating because
that means you're doing your job.
262
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,100
Teaching her how to save a life.
263
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,855
Residents are like puppies,
264
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:47,192
eager and enthusiastic,
and you need to learn how to teach
265
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,152
without crushing their spirit.
266
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:53,406
Now you want to work here
with my residents,
267
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:57,786
then you need to do better.
You need to be a better teacher.
268
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,502
[Exhales]
269
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:18,890
- Don't make me regret backing you up.
- No, sir. Absolutely not, sir.
270
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:22,519
- Thank you, sir.
- Puppies.
271
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:30,944
[Izzie] Rebecca.
272
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:34,781
This is dr shapiro from psych.
He's gonna be examining you.
273
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,993
- [Alex] Iz...
- Ask questions while Karev and I talk.
274
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:53,133
- What did I tell you?
- She's my patient.
275
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:56,803
I decide her treatment. I am not
releasing her without a consult.
276
00:18:56,886 --> 00:19:00,473
If you try to take her without my ok,
I will have you arrested.
277
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,726
- You can't have me arrested.
- Try me.
278
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,479
Look, iz, you're worried.
I see that, and I understand.
279
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,857
But you're being a little unreasonable.
280
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:12,652
- I've got this.
- No, you don't have it. I have it.
281
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,904
- I'm taking her home.
- No. No!
282
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,783
- You gonna bodin restrain me?
- I will if I have to.
283
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,452
- Hit a woman?
- If I have to.
284
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:24,831
Alex, she's sick. She needs help
you cannot possibly give her.
285
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,042
- I can take care of her.
- No, you can't.
286
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:30,420
You have no idea.
You could do damage by taking her home.
287
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,006
I can take care of her.
I've done this before.
288
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,800
- Alex...
- She's just going through a bad patch.
289
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,345
People go through a bad patch.
All right?
290
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,805
I can feed her and I can...
I can change her,
291
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:44,476
and I can bathe her and I can watch her.
Until the bad patch is over,
292
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:49,356
I can take care of her. I took care
of my mom, and I can take care of her.
293
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,860
- You've done this before.
- I've done this before.
294
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,321
I have done this before, Izzie.
295
00:19:56,404 --> 00:20:00,533
But I was a kid then, and I'm
a man now, so I'll be better at it.
296
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,786
- I have done this before.
- Stop.
297
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,790
You don't have to say anymore.
298
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,644
[Squirts]
299
00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:59,926
- You're here early.
- I never went home.
300
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:03,680
You'd want to monitor your patient.
I figured you were tired.
301
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,975
- How is he?
- His vitals are stable.
302
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,769
He received 16 litters
over the first 24 hours.
303
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:15,358
I changed it down to 125 cc's per hour.
Urine output's at 37 cc's per hour.
304
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:18,736
He had some anxiety at 3am,
and then again at 5am,
305
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:22,991
- which I treated with diphenhydramine.
- Good. Good job.
306
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,243
It's not a good job.
307
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:32,041
- O'Malley?
- It's not a good job for me.
308
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,838
Sitting by his bedside
recording urine output
309
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:41,885
and giving anti-anxiety meds all night.
It's not a good job for me.
310
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:45,555
Running labs for Meredith Grey,
that's not a good job for me.
311
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,308
It's not a good job
because I'm better than that,
312
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:52,687
and you know I'm better than that.
Maybe if I wasn't good at my job
313
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:57,233
or maybe if I had struggled
and was lagging behind...
314
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:02,947
My personality, I'm not Karev,
I'm not Yang, I'm not Meredith.
315
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:06,951
I'm not hardened, I get that. I get it.
316
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:10,121
I don't have the
personality of a surgeon.
317
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:12,916
Maybe that's why you made the mistake
318
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:16,294
of not thinking
that I deserve a second chance
319
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:19,005
when everyone else around here
has gotten one.
320
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:22,592
But, sir, it is a mistake
because I'm excellent.
321
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:26,012
I'm excellent at my job.
And I did fail my test,
322
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:29,224
but I deserve a second chance.
323
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:43,279
- Ok?
- Ok, you can retake the test.
324
00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:55,375
She hasn't woken up yet.
325
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:59,462
Sometimes it takes longer with
brain surgery for the body to recover.
326
00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:03,216
But she could not wake up?
327
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:06,553
- Could she die?
- That's a possibility,
328
00:23:06,636 --> 00:23:09,556
but I'd rather not worry
about that until we have to.
329
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:12,100
- When?
- When what?
330
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:17,063
When will we have to
start worrying about that?
331
00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:33,413
- Still here. Sleep in the waiting room?
- Look, I like him.
332
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:36,207
All right, I do.
But he doesn't need to know that.
333
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,710
- Nobody needs to know that.
- He needs you,
334
00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:41,963
- and you're worried about your friends?
- What do you know?
335
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:47,010
Do you know what it'd be like for me,
for him, if they knew? Think it's easy?
336
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:51,097
I think it's better to be honest.
337
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:59,856
He's alive.
Barely, but... he's alive.
338
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:10,908
I, uh, called your husband.
339
00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:14,495
He says he took the baby
and left you two months ago.
340
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:19,417
He says...
341
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:32,639
You have something called underlying
borderline personality disorder,
342
00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:36,976
which means you were fragile
to start with, so this...
343
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:39,771
This has probably been
coming on for a while.
344
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:43,983
Probably since your... your accident.
345
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:45,902
Then they changed your face.
346
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,864
I helped change your face.
347
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,076
You couldn't...
348
00:24:57,121 --> 00:25:00,333
You need help, Rebecca,
and I can't give it to you.
349
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:08,883
So you're gonna stay
here tonight, and tomorrow...
350
00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:15,264
Tomorrow, they're gonna transfer you
to a psychiatric facility.
351
00:25:17,392 --> 00:25:19,268
- I think that's better.
- [Sobs]
352
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:23,272
[Whispers] I'm sorry.
353
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,238
I really tried.
354
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:34,617
I wanted to be better for you.
355
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:40,456
I know how hard it is
for you to trust people,
356
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:43,584
and I wanted to be
someone you could depend on.
357
00:25:43,668 --> 00:25:45,253
[Sobs]
358
00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:47,130
[Whispers] I'm sorry.
359
00:25:49,507 --> 00:25:50,967
I'm sorry.
360
00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:06,566
So you convinced Shepherd to do the
second surgery without my approval.
361
00:26:10,945 --> 00:26:13,489
That's how you speak
to the chief, "so?"
362
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:20,204
My mother tried to kill herself
after you left. Did you know that?
363
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:27,044
- Did you know that?
- I didn't know that.
364
00:26:27,128 --> 00:26:30,965
- I'm sorry. I didn't know.
- She was a brilliant surgeon.
365
00:26:32,175 --> 00:26:34,343
How could you do that to her?
366
00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:39,891
She was a talented, gifted,
extraordinary surgeon.
367
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:57,408
- Tell me.
- She was a surgeon.
368
00:26:57,492 --> 00:27:01,037
An excellent surgeon. If she
was really trying to kill herself,
369
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:03,998
she wouldn't have slit her wrists.
She knew better.
370
00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:07,126
She would've taken the scalpel,
cut her carotid artery.
371
00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:10,588
Would've taken seconds to die.
She didn't really want to die.
372
00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:13,633
She was an excellent, gifted,
extraordinary surgeon.
373
00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:16,219
- Didn't want to die.
- What did she want?
374
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:19,806
- She wanted Richard to come back.
- And why didn't he come back?
375
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:24,227
Well, because he never knew about it,
and she was too stubborn to ask.
376
00:27:25,228 --> 00:27:28,147
- What does that mean?
- Well, that part I don't know.
377
00:27:28,231 --> 00:27:30,483
Could you just tell me
that part for once?
378
00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:32,652
I can.
379
00:27:32,735 --> 00:27:35,655
It means that you are a gifted,
380
00:27:35,738 --> 00:27:39,200
talented, extraordinary surgeon,
exactly like your mother,
381
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:43,621
but the difference is you
get to learn from her mistakes.
382
00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:49,961
Be extraordinary.
383
00:27:52,213 --> 00:27:56,592
- She wasn't talking about surgery.
- No, she wasn't.
384
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:01,931
She wasn't talking about surgery at all.
385
00:28:14,110 --> 00:28:17,196
Well, do I or do I not keep my promises?
386
00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:22,535
- [Groans] You do.
- [Chuckles]
387
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:26,163
And remember what I said
about the bigger picture?
388
00:28:27,582 --> 00:28:29,292
Yeah.
389
00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:58,738
[Laughs]
390
00:28:58,821 --> 00:29:01,490
He's been waiting his
whole life for that, huh?
391
00:29:01,574 --> 00:29:03,159
Yes, he has.
392
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:14,420
- Are those Beth's films?
- Yes.
393
00:29:14,503 --> 00:29:17,465
These are from two days ago,
and these are from today.
394
00:29:17,548 --> 00:29:20,509
Would you hand me the callipers, please?
395
00:29:27,642 --> 00:29:30,811
This one is smaller than that one.
The tumour's shrinking.
396
00:29:30,895 --> 00:29:33,606
- The virus is working.
- Oh, my god. [Laughs]
397
00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:39,612
- You have to go tell Derek.
- No. You have to tell Derek.
398
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:42,365
It's the kind of news
he'd want to hear from you.
399
00:29:44,575 --> 00:29:46,661
Rose.
400
00:29:46,744 --> 00:29:50,373
Congratulations on your
major medical breakthrough.
401
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,875
It's the stuff of legends.
402
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:02,885
- Hey!
- Take the sparkle pager back.
403
00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,470
I am drunk on the power.
404
00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:07,390
- Where is it?
- I think it might actually be mystical.
405
00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:09,100
- Have you seen Derek?
- Nope.
406
00:30:12,895 --> 00:30:17,650
- Um... you paged, dr Yang?
- Grab that banana from my cubby.
407
00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:24,490
You... you want me to peel it for you?
408
00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:27,493
I want you to learn running
whip stitch. I'll teach it.
409
00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:29,203
Take the needle.
410
00:30:30,871 --> 00:30:32,164
- Chart.
- Here you go.
411
00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:33,582
Thank you.
412
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:36,419
[Muffled sobbing]
413
00:31:00,109 --> 00:31:01,610
Hey.
414
00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:04,655
You're alive.
415
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:10,494
Yeah. I'm alive.
416
00:31:22,965 --> 00:31:25,426
Not just for show anymore.
417
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,638
- No.
- [Beth breathing heavily]
418
00:31:42,193 --> 00:31:43,652
[Rustling]
419
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:47,865
That's not sanitary.
420
00:31:49,784 --> 00:31:51,869
A little closer together. Try again.
421
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:55,081
- Dr Yang, thank you for...
- Uh-huh.
422
00:32:03,005 --> 00:32:04,548
How'd it go?
423
00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:09,970
- Awful. [Clears throat]
- Yeah.
424
00:32:18,896 --> 00:32:20,940
These are for you.
425
00:32:21,982 --> 00:32:23,943
Why give me your keys to the clinic?
426
00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:27,613
I'm not giving you my keys to the
clinic. I'm giving you the clinic.
427
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:33,911
I've seen the bigger picture.
I love the clinic.
428
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:36,580
I love what it means, I love what it is.
429
00:32:36,664 --> 00:32:39,208
But I don't love it
as much as I love surgery.
430
00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:43,337
I don't love it as much
as I love being chief resident.
431
00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:47,591
I don't love it as much as I love
my husband and my child.
432
00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:50,511
I have seen the bigger picture,
433
00:32:50,594 --> 00:32:55,558
and I can't do everything
and still have everything.
434
00:32:55,641 --> 00:33:00,855
So I have to... let some pieces go.
435
00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:06,735
This piece. This is your piece.
436
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:10,322
I've watched you earn this piece
437
00:33:10,406 --> 00:33:13,701
the hard way, the awful way.
438
00:33:13,784 --> 00:33:19,665
Knowing that I can give the clinic
to someone like you.
439
00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:25,754
You have grown into a fine doctor,
Izzie Stevens.
440
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:31,468
Thank you.
441
00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:43,731
The Denny duquette memorial clinic
is in your hands.
442
00:33:43,814 --> 00:33:45,691
You make me proud.
443
00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:48,903
[J' Bryn Christopher: The quest]
444
00:33:54,992 --> 00:33:56,994
Derek!
445
00:33:57,077 --> 00:33:58,579
He's not there.
446
00:34:08,964 --> 00:34:10,591
I'm not a bad man.
447
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:16,347
I know I'm the villain in your story,
but I'm not a bad man.
448
00:34:23,229 --> 00:34:24,688
[Closes trunk]
449
00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:27,566
So you want to finish
what we started yesterday?
450
00:34:27,650 --> 00:34:29,818
Or you can finish what you started.
451
00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:39,870
I'm growing.
452
00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:42,831
Go. Get outta here.
453
00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:56,095
Hey. [Exhales]
454
00:34:56,178 --> 00:34:58,597
I wanted to see
if you wanted to grab a drink.
455
00:34:58,681 --> 00:35:01,976
- I can't find my keys.
- Maybe we could, um...
456
00:35:03,894 --> 00:35:06,939
- Something I wanted to talk about.
- I had the damn keys.
457
00:35:07,022 --> 00:35:09,566
I put them in this bag,
but I can't remember...
458
00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:12,945
- This whole thing with Yang...
- Erica.
459
00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:17,032
- What?
- I'm saying something here.
460
00:35:22,079 --> 00:35:24,206
I just... I wanted to say...
461
00:35:28,252 --> 00:35:29,545
I just wanted to say...
462
00:35:45,394 --> 00:35:48,772
- Richard?
- I want to come home.
463
00:35:48,856 --> 00:35:51,442
- Richard!
- I am a good man.
464
00:35:51,525 --> 00:35:53,193
I'm a good man.
465
00:35:53,277 --> 00:35:56,989
I spend my days being a good man
for the hospital, for my residents,
466
00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,615
for my patients.
467
00:35:58,991 --> 00:36:02,703
I'm a good man who made one mistake
with a woman 20 years ago.
468
00:36:02,786 --> 00:36:06,707
I am a good man
for everybody but you. I know that.
469
00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:10,961
Don't you think I know that?
But I am a good man.
470
00:36:11,045 --> 00:36:13,339
And I am your husband...
471
00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:15,924
And I love you.
472
00:36:17,593 --> 00:36:21,930
Now, I am not asking you to come home.
473
00:36:22,014 --> 00:36:24,266
I'm telling you.
474
00:36:24,391 --> 00:36:28,896
I am your husband,
and I want to come home to my wife.
475
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:31,440
[Exhales]
476
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:34,443
[Exhales]
477
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:42,951
It's about time.
478
00:36:58,342 --> 00:37:01,553
- I'm retaking my intern test.
- Oh, my god.
479
00:37:01,637 --> 00:37:04,681
I talked to the chief, made my case,
I'm taking the test.
480
00:37:04,765 --> 00:37:08,477
Lexie, I know I was mad before,
but thank you, thank you, thank you.
481
00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:12,481
Thank you. Get out the liquor,
'cause we are celebrating.
482
00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,997
- I'm sorry.
- Whatever.
483
00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:40,551
Not whatever.
484
00:37:40,634 --> 00:37:42,177
I'm sorry.
485
00:37:43,178 --> 00:37:45,722
About Rebecca and your mom.
486
00:37:47,850 --> 00:37:49,685
I'm sorry.
487
00:37:57,151 --> 00:37:59,653
- Alex.
- [Whispers] Please.
488
00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:02,364
Just this once.
489
00:38:04,074 --> 00:38:06,702
Just for this one night, please.
490
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:08,287
Please.
491
00:38:36,190 --> 00:38:38,233
[Sobs]
492
00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:42,613
[Sobbing] Please. Please.
493
00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:56,418
[Clicks]
494
00:38:57,336 --> 00:38:58,837
[Exhales]
495
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:01,798
We goin' home.
496
00:39:04,176 --> 00:39:06,637
[Grunts] Home to daddy.
497
00:39:10,224 --> 00:39:12,726
[Birds hooting]
498
00:39:23,779 --> 00:39:26,448
[J' ida Maria: Keep me warm]
499
00:39:28,784 --> 00:39:32,829
[Meredith] Stupid, corny, idiotic.
I cannot believe I did this.
500
00:39:32,913 --> 00:39:36,917
Stupid loser. Son of a...
I could be at home instead of...
501
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,043
[Scoffs]
502
00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:40,128
- Stupid brain man.
- Meredith.
503
00:39:40,212 --> 00:39:42,005
Where have you been?
504
00:39:42,089 --> 00:39:46,260
I've been waiting and waiting for you,
and I did this stupid, embarrassing,
505
00:39:46,343 --> 00:39:49,930
humiliating, corny thing, and
I was gonna tell you that this here
506
00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:54,268
is our kitchen and
this is our living room,
507
00:39:54,351 --> 00:39:57,229
and that's the room
where our kids could play.
508
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:59,731
I had this thing,
"I was gonna build us a house,"
509
00:39:59,815 --> 00:40:02,025
but I don't build houses. I'm a surgeon.
510
00:40:02,109 --> 00:40:06,029
And now I'm here feeling
like a lame-ass loser.
511
00:40:06,113 --> 00:40:10,576
I got a" whole and healed,
and you don't show up.
512
00:40:10,659 --> 00:40:12,995
It's ruined because you took so long.
513
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:15,956
And I couldn't even find
that bottle of champagne.
514
00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:25,841
This is the kitchen?
515
00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,885
Living room?
516
00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:32,097
Little small.
517
00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,933
I think the view is
much better from here.
518
00:40:35,017 --> 00:40:37,811
And that's the room where
the kids are gonna play? [Laughs]
519
00:40:42,983 --> 00:40:44,526
Where's our bedroom?
520
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:49,239
I'm still mad at you,
and I don't know if I trust you.
521
00:40:49,323 --> 00:40:52,159
I want to, but I don't know if I do.
I'm just gonna try.
522
00:40:52,242 --> 00:40:54,620
I'm gonna try and trust you.
I believe that
523
00:40:54,703 --> 00:40:59,166
we can be extraordinary together rather
than ordinary apart, and I wanna be...
524
00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:28,612
- I have to go.
- What?
525
00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:31,657
In order to kiss you
the way I want to kiss you,
526
00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:34,743
in order to do more than kiss you,
527
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:37,454
I need to speak to Rose.
528
00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:42,417
I want my conscience clear
so that I can do more than kiss you.
529
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,336
[Exhales]
530
00:41:45,921 --> 00:41:47,339
Stay here.
531
00:41:48,882 --> 00:41:50,634
Don't move.
532
00:41:51,927 --> 00:41:53,428
Wait for me.
40669
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