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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,767 --> 00:00:06,033 Get to the edge. 2 00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,933 Get to the edge. 3 00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:10,367 Absolutely, again. 4 00:00:10,467 --> 00:00:11,800 Right, just step off, love. 5 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:12,900 Just do it. 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,467 Oh, God no. 7 00:00:19,567 --> 00:00:21,700 I don't think I can. 8 00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:24,033 Go, Meg. 9 00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:27,000 You've done really well, mate. 10 00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:31,933 I think I've pooed my harness. 11 00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:54,833 I had an epitome. 12 00:00:54,933 --> 00:00:56,033 Epiphany or epitome? 13 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,343 Well, they're two separate words. 14 00:00:57,367 --> 00:01:00,267 OK, so I had a moment on the plane, 15 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:02,643 because I realized that I don't really know what I'm doing 16 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,967 with like, the rest of my life. Do you know what I mean? 17 00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:06,967 Hardly ever, but yes. 18 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,833 Then I remembered what that visionary 19 00:01:08,933 --> 00:01:10,943 said to me on the beach before he sold me my crystal. 20 00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:12,267 Didn't he ask you for a handy? 21 00:01:12,367 --> 00:01:15,867 Well, yeah, but he also said, ask the universe for what 22 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:17,047 you want, and it'll happen. 23 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,367 Do you want this? 24 00:01:18,467 --> 00:01:19,600 Yes. 25 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,800 You see, it's weird. 26 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,140 Is that to carry your necklace? 27 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:32,467 Are you there yet, Gary? 28 00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,067 Gary, are you there yet? 29 00:01:36,533 --> 00:01:37,200 Time's up. 30 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,967 What, I haven't finished. 31 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:40,500 Well, I have, and I need to go. 32 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,700 What about me? 33 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,033 Sort yourself out. 34 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,767 Gary, what are you looking at? 35 00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:50,867 Porn. 36 00:01:50,967 --> 00:01:53,600 Do you know how insulting this is? 37 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,767 I do all the same stuff that they do. 38 00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:58,533 Oh, come on Laura, you're not as dirty as the internet. 39 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,700 OK, so I've asked the universe to bring me to my calling. 40 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:07,700 What, Leeds? 41 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,633 Showbiz, Meg. 42 00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:10,867 What do you want? 43 00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:12,209 I want to know what my ex-boyfriend 44 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,233 is standing out there. 45 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,467 Oh, um, Jesus, it's Mark. 46 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:18,343 Why would your mental ex-boyfriend be out there? 47 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,533 Because he's mental. 48 00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:21,193 Wonder if he still wears your underwear. 49 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,233 I'm way too jet-lagged to deal with this. 50 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:24,467 Help me. 51 00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:26,276 I can ask the universe, but it's not always instant. 52 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,200 A sane suggestion would be great. 53 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,800 OK. 54 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:30,800 What are we going to do? 55 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,767 That's the question. 56 00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:36,000 Right, we're going to do what all rational, adult women 57 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,333 would do in this situation. 58 00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:38,333 What's that? 59 00:02:38,433 --> 00:02:39,433 Hide. 60 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,933 Look, look, Laura, look, look, Laura. 61 00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:55,267 Hi. 62 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,167 Get down. 63 00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:57,367 It 64 00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:58,100 All right. 65 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,033 Hey, mate. 66 00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:00,000 Why are we hiding? 67 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:00,933 Have you nicked summat? 68 00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:01,833 No. 69 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:04,767 Mental Mark's over there. 70 00:03:04,867 --> 00:03:05,900 I thought you broke up. 71 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:06,867 We did. 72 00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:08,100 I'm very single now. 73 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,376 Well you couldn't remember it out there. 74 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,733 Oh, what, because I wasn't getting 75 00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:12,876 fingered by every single tour guide in southern India? 76 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,600 I've missed this. 77 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:15,867 Do you want me to deck him? 78 00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:17,443 No, we're just going to leave the airport 79 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:18,700 hiding behind this trolley. 80 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,800 Very well, then. 81 00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:28,033 OK. 82 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,200 Coast clear. 83 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,000 Hey. 84 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,900 Hey. 85 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,800 Thanks for picking us up anyway, mate. 86 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:43,000 We bought you this in India. 87 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,133 Guys, I fucking love it. 88 00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:46,300 So where have you parked? 89 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,033 What? 90 00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:48,667 I got the bus. 91 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,533 You're right, he shouldn't be looking at porn. 92 00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:56,800 It's degrading to women. 93 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:57,900 I'm not arsed about that. 94 00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,467 I just don't get why he needs it. 95 00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:00,667 He's got this. 96 00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:01,976 But you can't compete with the internet, Laura, 97 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,143 these women are professionals. 98 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:04,200 So am I. 99 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,700 Professional means you get paid. 100 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,433 All right, well anyways, I'm going to show him. 101 00:04:08,533 --> 00:04:10,700 I've got a sexting mission underway. 102 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,667 How do you spell tongue? 103 00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:14,767 I can't wait go straight to bed. 104 00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:16,133 Don't be a boner, mate. 105 00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:17,700 We're going out. 106 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,900 Well, I'm not drinking. 107 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,376 I've still got two Valium in my system. 108 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,767 So you have been to sleep. 109 00:04:21,867 --> 00:04:23,767 No, Meg is the only person in living 110 00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:27,233 history to have taken Valium and then had a panic attack. 111 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,000 I'll say it again, how can you be 112 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,343 sure it was Valium when you bought 113 00:04:30,367 --> 00:04:31,933 them from a rickshaw driver? 114 00:04:32,033 --> 00:04:34,567 Oh, Gary's stepped it up a gear. 115 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:36,600 How do you spell fisting? 116 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,620 I've got a really good feeling about this summer. 117 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,400 Well, this is wonderful. 118 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,400 I am thrilled. 119 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,133 Oh, thanks mum, it's good to be back. 120 00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:53,767 And I would like to propose a toast. 121 00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:57,533 To our clever son, James. 122 00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:02,100 Or should I say, James Kesick, Executive Account Manager 123 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,667 and proud owner of an Audi. 124 00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:05,600 What? 125 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,567 Aren't you going to uni? 126 00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:08,600 I don't need a degree. 127 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,067 I've been headhunted. 128 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:13,733 So cheers to PPI, and to mom and dad for supporting me. 129 00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:15,200 Congratulations, son. 130 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,400 Well, I would like to propose a toast. 131 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:23,133 To me and Bunny, for going the whole way around some of India 132 00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:24,933 without getting killed. 133 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,567 We had to go to the embassy once when Bunny lost her passport, 134 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:31,433 and it was actually fine, 'cause it was in my bum bag. 135 00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:32,400 Cheers. 136 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,500 Well done, guys. 137 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,333 There he is. 138 00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:37,333 Give Mark a hand with that please, James. 139 00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:38,167 Who? 140 00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:40,433 Oh great, now we're all here. 141 00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:42,067 Meggles. 142 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,400 I came to the airport. 143 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,500 Did you? 144 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,600 What are you doing here? 145 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:50,667 Well, I work for your dad now. 146 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,700 I tell you what, that lad really knows his stone. 147 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,267 And I wanted to see you. 148 00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,733 Do you wanna come upstairs? 149 00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,100 Yes, please. 150 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,867 I think we should talk. 151 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,800 We'll just be in my room. 152 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:06,900 Oooh. 153 00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:12,133 Why is my room a walk-in wardrobe? 154 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:13,500 Didn't you know? 155 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,633 No, what the fu... where am I supposed to sleep? 156 00:06:16,733 --> 00:06:18,500 It looks so different. 157 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,067 It's crazy to think this is the room 158 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:21,633 where I took your virginity. 159 00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:24,867 Yeah, not as crazy as saying that in this situation, Mark. 160 00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,833 Oh, you silly, pretty thing. 161 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:29,567 Come here, I've missed you. 162 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:34,467 Yeah look, I'm really sorry about everything. 163 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,400 Are you OK? 164 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,667 Yeah. 165 00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:39,267 Look, I know you want your space and I respect that. 166 00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:40,476 But there's something I wanted to... 167 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,933 Yeah, but I didn't. Sorry. 168 00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:42,867 You go. 169 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:43,833 No, sorry, you go first. 170 00:06:43,933 --> 00:06:45,400 OK, well. 171 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,900 Here goes. 172 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,109 Oh God, please don't be a poem. 173 00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:49,033 No, I want... 174 00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:49,967 Us to still be friends, yeah. 175 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:51,100 No, no, I want... 176 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,200 Closure, I know. 177 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:53,533 No. 178 00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:55,309 I really don't think we should be having breakup sex, Mark. 179 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:56,767 I want you to move in with me. 180 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:57,967 What? 181 00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,967 I've rented us a flat in Headingley, 182 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:03,333 in case you're wondering where all your stuff is. 183 00:07:03,433 --> 00:07:05,100 I love you. 184 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,333 Oh my god. 185 00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:12,300 I suddenly feel very jet-lagged, Mark. 186 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:17,033 I'm just going to lie down on these bags. 187 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,200 He's not my boyfriend. 188 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,433 He's a deluded, emotionally unstable psychopath. 189 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,100 I don't want to be near him, let alone living with him. 190 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,367 She's very tired. 191 00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,733 Well, I changed our relationship status 192 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,267 on Facebook. 193 00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:36,176 If that isn't breaking up with him, I don't known what is. 194 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,500 He tried to cut all my hair... 195 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,043 Girls are looking pretty in their summer 196 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,900 frocks, well, skimpy shorts and bikini... 197 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,867 Think I'll go back to the new pad. 198 00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:44,400 Tell her I'll see her there. 199 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,833 OK, bye Mark. 200 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,033 See you, Mark. 201 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,833 - Laters. - What am I going to do? 202 00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,833 Well, you're a grown up now, Meg. 203 00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:51,933 Move out. 204 00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:53,600 I haven't got any money, have I? 205 00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:56,000 Well, you could get a job like your little brother. 206 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,600 I don't want to go back to handing out flyers. 207 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,167 I've got a degree now, and technically I've still got 208 00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,567 six months of me year out left. 209 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:03,967 Yeah. 210 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,109 How many more of these years out do you think you'll need, Meg? 211 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:08,100 Haven't you had your fun now? 212 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,600 India was a cultural, educational experience, Dad. 213 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,900 It wasn't just about mucking around, having fun. 214 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,167 Yeah, I've seen the bungee jumping video. 215 00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:18,500 I think you need to make a plan. 216 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,100 I had a plan. 217 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,200 Live here until I got a cool, artsy media-y job. 218 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,233 I can't live in a wardrobe, can I? 219 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:29,200 Yes, and we can't afford to support you here anymore. 220 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,267 Well, why didn't you just sell one of these bags? 221 00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:34,633 That's a month's rent. 222 00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:35,600 Is it? 223 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,900 She's joking. 224 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,400 She can sleep on the sofa. 225 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,400 Oh, thanks. 226 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,200 Fine, but she's paying rent. 227 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:42,933 What? 228 00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,400 You're 24, Meg. 229 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,600 It's time you started acting like it. 230 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:50,833 Well, whatevs. I so totally am acting like it. 231 00:08:54,933 --> 00:08:55,833 Hi, roomie. 232 00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:57,533 I thought you'd gone, Mark. 233 00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:58,767 I waited for you. 234 00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:00,267 You really did, didn't you? 235 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,867 Shall we go back to our flat, Meg? 236 00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:03,800 Absolutely not. 237 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:04,900 We're going pub. 238 00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:05,767 Are we? 239 00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,233 Not you. 240 00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:09,467 Look, I really just need some space, Mark. 241 00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:10,400 Where are you going? 242 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,200 I don't know. 243 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,333 Do you want a lift? 244 00:09:12,433 --> 00:09:13,667 Yes. 245 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:21,667 Put your foot down, Mark. 246 00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:23,633 I want to get there before next summer. 247 00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:27,400 Sorry, but I'm transporting something fragile and precious. 248 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,333 What? 249 00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:29,067 Marble. 250 00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:30,900 No, Meg. 251 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,600 Right, we're getting out here. 252 00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,333 Wake up, Meg. 253 00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:41,367 I don't wear to wear lost property, Sir. 254 00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:44,667 Maybe she should just come back to our place now. 255 00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:47,467 Meg. 256 00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:50,967 Oh God, please tell me this is a dream. 257 00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:53,567 Sort of more of a nightmare, love. 258 00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:56,867 Shall I park the van and meet you in there? 259 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:58,133 Just go home, Mark. 260 00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:00,333 Nobody wants you here. Thanks for the lift. 261 00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:10,000 Well, he's persistent, I'll give him that. 262 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,200 I can't get rid of him. 263 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,633 He's like thrush. 264 00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:14,693 Yeah, well he definitely needs clinical treatment. 265 00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:16,400 You need to eradicate. 266 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,460 Do you want me to put a word in with the universe? 267 00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:19,900 Fuck the universe. 268 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,200 What's the matter, Meg? 269 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,867 Are you upset because you're homeless? 270 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,067 Yes. 271 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,067 And because your mental ex-boyfriend 272 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:25,833 wants you to move in with him? 273 00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:26,833 Yes. 274 00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:28,043 And because your unemployed? 275 00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:29,143 Hadn't actually thought about that, 276 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:30,633 but yes, also a huge problem. 277 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:31,533 Thanks very much guys. 278 00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:32,733 Great chat. 279 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,600 I'll get our shots in. 280 00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:41,167 Done it. Done it all. 281 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:43,833 I'm out of ideas to be honest. - Oh, I know. 282 00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:44,933 Bukake. 283 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,633 Can't you just sent him a picture of your boob? 284 00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:51,467 He's already got the whole range, inside out. 285 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,727 I just hate the idea of not being dirty enough for him. 286 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,743 Darling you don't you have anything to worry about, 287 00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:57,233 you're absolutely filthy. 288 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,233 Am I? 289 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:01,700 Hey, seriously, you're a total dirtbag. 290 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:02,700 You are. 291 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:03,633 Stop it. 292 00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:06,467 You'll give me a big head. 293 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,000 Oh, hello. 294 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,033 Mind if I watch? 295 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:12,067 Malcolm. 296 00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,000 Thanks for coming to my party, girls. 297 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,867 Oh yeah, that's why we're here. 298 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,667 Do I get a birthday kiss? 299 00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:19,167 No. 300 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:20,867 This is my cousin, Bunny. 301 00:11:20,967 --> 00:11:22,300 Ah, Malcolm. 302 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,043 Remember that, you'll be screaming it later. 303 00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,933 Right, are you saying you're going to rape her? 304 00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:29,233 No, just chatting her up. 305 00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:32,167 Well, you can see we're all very aroused. 306 00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:34,533 Bunny, this is my boss, Malcolm. 307 00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:35,800 Uh, former boss. 308 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,067 Got too big for it, didn't you, Mrs. Qualifications. 309 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,667 Yeah actually, about that. 310 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,567 I thought you said you had meningitis, Laura? 311 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:42,500 Feel better now. 312 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,633 I'll be back tomorrow. 313 00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,767 Good, because you were promoting the all-new 314 00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:47,133 best-selling tranket. 315 00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:48,567 It's a travel slanket. 316 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,700 That is far too many made-up words in one sentence. 317 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,133 What's made-up about tranket? 318 00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,209 It's travel plus slanket, what's made-up about that? 319 00:11:55,233 --> 00:11:56,567 Uh, the slanket bit? 320 00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:58,600 Well that's just blanket plus sleeve. 321 00:11:58,700 --> 00:11:59,933 I thought you had a degree? 322 00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:02,200 Fat load of good that's doing you. 323 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:04,733 Yeah, I meant to ask, actually, Mark... 324 00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,009 Well, I've reserved us a the table. 325 00:12:06,033 --> 00:12:08,667 Come join the party. 326 00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:11,633 You've met my mum, haven't you? 327 00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:12,533 Right. 328 00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:14,700 Gary is gagging for it. 329 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,800 Get the drinks in. 330 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,767 It's your round. 331 00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:21,767 Right. 332 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,267 Can I borrow some cash? 333 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,967 Why don't you just ask the universe to get some drinks. 334 00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,367 Fine, I will, actually. 335 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,267 - Hello? - Gary? 336 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:35,800 What are you doing? 337 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,900 What's that noise? 338 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,767 Uh, It's One Born Every Minute. 339 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,043 Gary, I know what you're doing, 340 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,476 and you better start fucking behaving 341 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,267 yourself, because I am capable of messing you right up. 342 00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:46,733 You'll be begging for my forgiveness, you piece of dirt. 343 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,100 Oh yes, Laura. 344 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,267 I love it when you got angry. 345 00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:51,767 Do you? 346 00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:53,667 This turning you on? 347 00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:56,000 Malcolm. 348 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,667 Happy birthday. 349 00:12:57,767 --> 00:12:59,067 Thank you. 350 00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:03,567 So I was wondering if I could have my old job back? 351 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,633 I thought you said this work was demoralizing, 352 00:13:05,733 --> 00:13:07,167 underpaid, and humiliating. 353 00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:11,333 It is, and I would like to do it full-time, if possible. 354 00:13:11,433 --> 00:13:13,309 You said you wouldn't do it even if you were desperate, 355 00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:14,867 and that you'd rather starve. 356 00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,200 That doesn't sound like me. 357 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,500 Well, then take it back. 358 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,600 Oh, come on. 359 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,367 Take it back or I can't take you back. 360 00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:27,300 OK, I'm sorry I said it was demoralizing. 361 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,467 It's not. 362 00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:29,400 It's... 363 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,867 It's important. 364 00:13:30,967 --> 00:13:32,200 We're fueling the economy. 365 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:36,467 Well... OK, we're fueling the economy. 366 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:40,167 It's important, valuable work, and I 367 00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:43,067 would be lucky to work for you. 368 00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:44,600 What do you think? 369 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:49,100 Right, well, I think that it is actually not my decision, 370 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200 it's the area manager's. 371 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,576 So you're going to have to ask him. 372 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,700 Fortunately for us all, he is here somewhere. 373 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,767 Right, what are you wearing? 374 00:13:55,867 --> 00:14:01,767 Do what I say, I'm in charge, you dirty knobhead. 375 00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:03,933 Slide your trackies off. 376 00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:05,867 One Panty Dropper. 377 00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:07,433 Thank you, universe. 378 00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:09,443 I've just been bought a drink and offered a job as a model. 379 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:12,400 Who here has offered you a modeling job? 380 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,200 That guy. 381 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,700 God, I told you I had a good feeling about this summer. 382 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,833 He's Nice. 383 00:14:17,933 --> 00:14:20,767 See, I am mystical as fuck, Meg. 384 00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,133 All my dreams are coming true. 385 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:24,867 I've traveled the world, got a job in showbiz, 386 00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:26,667 soon I really will be mixed race. 387 00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:27,933 I love me. 388 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,667 Meg, may I introduce you to our new area 389 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:31,467 manager, Josh Steel. 390 00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:32,867 Yes, you may. 391 00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:34,100 Hello. 392 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,209 Malcolm this is Bunny, she'll be joining 393 00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:36,433 you on the new tranket promo. 394 00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:37,367 What? 395 00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:38,100 What? 396 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,467 No. I'm a model. 397 00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:42,467 You said modeling. - Yeah, modeling the tranket. 398 00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:45,200 Think of yourself as a sort of human mannequin. 399 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,933 Welcome to our world. 400 00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:47,933 Human mannequin. 401 00:14:48,033 --> 00:14:49,400 Showbiz. 402 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,167 Drinks? 403 00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:52,167 Yes, please, I do. 404 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,143 Don't forget, you need to go and eradicate Mark. 405 00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:55,333 Sorry, what's that? 406 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,300 I couldn't hear anything over how fit he is. 407 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,700 My turn to flirt my way into a job offer, thanks. 408 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,933 Don't mind if I do. 409 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,000 Laters. 410 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,067 We're going to do now, in this toilet, 411 00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:08,667 like animals, because all you're worth to me. 412 00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:10,367 Put your hand on your pants. 413 00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,267 Feels good, doesn't it, you mong. 414 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:14,667 I'll call you what I like, because I'm getting nasty. 415 00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:17,633 Don't you speak no more, I'll do the talking. 416 00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:21,800 I'm absolutely sick of your winging, annoying voice. 417 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,833 You speak really slowly, like that. 418 00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:26,067 And you stink. 419 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,676 You need a new deodorant, it don't work. 420 00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:30,467 And you've got bad taste, and you've got bad breath. 421 00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:31,400 You've got no muscles. 422 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,900 And I hate that mole on your neck, 423 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,500 and your ball hair's too long. 424 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,009 And you've got shit taste in clothes, 425 00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:38,067 and shit taste in music. 426 00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:39,933 And you're going bald at the back. 427 00:15:40,033 --> 00:15:41,867 And you're lazy. 428 00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:45,167 What do you mean, it's not sexy anymore. 429 00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:48,900 No, I'm hanging up. 430 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,933 Laura 1, internet 0. 431 00:15:58,533 --> 00:15:59,533 Another. 432 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:00,600 Please. 433 00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:02,267 I'm quite drunk now. 434 00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:05,133 Bit jet-lagged I think, actually. 435 00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:07,467 Promo's so much fun, I really love it. 436 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,500 Well, the tranket has just been such a gift. 437 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,567 I mean, it's such a great product, 438 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,967 and we have really increased the sales figures. 439 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:19,033 I mean JTL Promotions are very impressed. 440 00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:21,533 And of course, Malcolm's a great team leader. 441 00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:22,933 Is this a joke? 442 00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:24,400 I bet you just get away with saying 443 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,800 anything 'cause you're so fit. 444 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,300 I think what the customer really 445 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:31,000 enjoys is a fully integrated, experiential 446 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,400 marketing strategy. 447 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,700 I mean, we really get people talking about the brand, 448 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,300 because the whole promotion is an experience. 449 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:41,700 Not to mention the social media campaign that we've alr... 450 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,633 Meg? 451 00:16:43,733 --> 00:16:44,867 Meg? 452 00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:45,967 Meg? 453 00:16:48,767 --> 00:16:49,600 I'll take it from here. 454 00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:50,767 Who are you? 455 00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:51,900 I'm her boyfriend. 456 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Ooh, come on, Meggles. 457 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,900 Let's get you home. 458 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,800 Shall I give you a hand? 459 00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:01,967 Fit. 460 00:17:04,867 --> 00:17:06,733 Sorry. 461 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:29,800 Oopsie. 462 00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:41,000 What the hell are you doing, Mark? 463 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,367 Where's Meg? 464 00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:46,233 Oh, she fell asleep, and then her boyfriend 465 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,467 came to pick her up. 466 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,967 Oh my God, he's kidnapped her, the freak. 467 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,767 Go. 468 00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:54,367 Are you breaking up with me? 469 00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:56,500 How can I break up with you, Mark? 470 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,633 We're not even together. 471 00:17:57,733 --> 00:17:59,500 I thought you were just playing hard to get? 472 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,900 That's how you interpret zero written or verbal contact 473 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,467 for six months? 474 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:08,333 So this relationship's just a one-way-street, is it? 475 00:18:08,433 --> 00:18:12,300 It's fucking cul-de-sac, Mark? 476 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,700 But all your stuff's here now. 477 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,000 I had it all dry cleaned. 478 00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,033 - Where's the rest? - Upstairs. 479 00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,133 Upstairs? 480 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:44,000 I honestly wouldn't put it past him 481 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,667 to do something really sick. 482 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:48,267 Oh my God, this is all my fault. 483 00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:50,143 I asked the universe to end it between them, but not 484 00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:51,300 like this. 485 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,500 Poor Meg. 486 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,900 Oh, it's bigger than you'd expect, isn't it? 487 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,933 It's quite nice up here. 488 00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:02,533 Yeah. 489 00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:05,233 Well, it was going to be our guest room. 490 00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:07,500 Well, you could get a housemate. 491 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,967 Could do. 492 00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:09,900 Saw a juicer downstairs. 493 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,967 Yeah. 494 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,600 So, where are you going to live? 495 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,933 Don't know. 496 00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,313 Do you want to get back together? 497 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:20,367 No.- 498 00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:22,333 - Do you want to live here? - Yes, please. 499 00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:25,967 But it's still over, Mark. 500 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,033 Shall I make you a summer fruit smoothie? 501 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,133 Yes, please. 502 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,167 It's way too quiet in there. 503 00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:38,500 What if he's killed her? 504 00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,767 Uh, Mark. 505 00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:48,000 Mark. 506 00:19:52,933 --> 00:19:54,800 I don't like the sound of that. 507 00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:57,467 I just want you back for good. 508 00:19:58,267 --> 00:19:59,376 Want you back, want you back. 509 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,767 Mark? 510 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,867 Mark. 511 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,567 Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song, and I'll sing it. 512 00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:08,900 Give me that. 513 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,667 Well, will the universe help us? 514 00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:11,767 In a way. 515 00:20:12,933 --> 00:20:16,933 Want you back, I want you back for good. 516 00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:19,867 Unaware but underlined. 517 00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,100 Drop the knife or I'll break your face. 518 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,100 I haven't done anything. 519 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,067 Where is she? 520 00:20:37,167 --> 00:20:37,967 In the loft. 521 00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,467 Oh, you sick bastard. 522 00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:40,967 She likes it up there. 523 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,133 Help! 524 00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:44,567 Help me, I can't get out. 525 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,433 Well, I didn't think she was locked in up... 526 00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:47,800 Jesus Christ. 527 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:49,833 Laura, what about my karma? 528 00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:52,200 Just keep him down. 529 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,433 OK, I'm going to have to sit on you, Mark, OK? 530 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,167 Meg, it's Laura, are you all right? 531 00:20:59,267 --> 00:21:00,867 Laura hi, yeah, everything's fine. 532 00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:01,967 Hi, Meg. 533 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:02,900 Yeah, hello. 534 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,143 Can you just let me out, please? 535 00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,000 Right, how? 536 00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,300 I don't know, ask Mark. 537 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,067 I can't, we're not really talking. 538 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,567 Why not? 539 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,776 I sort of twatted him over the head with a rock, like. 540 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:12,933 It's a crystal. 541 00:21:13,033 --> 00:21:14,933 Oh, bloody hell, Laura. 542 00:21:15,033 --> 00:21:17,033 Mark, can you let me out, please? 543 00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:19,300 I can't, Bunny's sitting on me. 544 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,533 I'm in quite a lot of pain, but I'm confusing aroused. 545 00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:25,433 Oh! 546 00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:26,933 Hi guys. 547 00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:28,633 Are you OK, Mark? 548 00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:30,533 Meg, tell them. 549 00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:31,733 Everything's fine. 550 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,967 He just put a blanket over me, and I fell asleep. 551 00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:35,700 Like a beautiful budgie. 552 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,333 Have you dumped the freak, then? 553 00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:38,067 I am here. 554 00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:39,467 Don't care. 555 00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:41,176 Yes, we've broken up properly, haven't we, Mark. 556 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,767 Yeah, for now. 557 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:46,167 Right, well, let's go off, then. 558 00:21:46,267 --> 00:21:47,267 No. 559 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:50,833 See the thing is, yes, we split up, but... 560 00:21:50,933 --> 00:21:52,633 Actually I've already moved in. 561 00:21:52,733 --> 00:21:54,267 Shut the front door. 562 00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:56,533 Meg, did he, or did he not convince himself 563 00:21:56,633 --> 00:21:58,667 he was in a relationship with you, abduct 564 00:21:58,767 --> 00:22:00,433 you, and trap you in his loft. 565 00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:02,093 Yeah, he did all of those things, but... 566 00:22:03,233 --> 00:22:05,067 Laura, please stop hitting him with a rock. 567 00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:06,167 Crystal. 568 00:22:06,233 --> 00:22:07,033 I know this is. 569 00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:09,400 It's that Denmark Disease. 570 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:10,967 I think you mean Stockholm Syndrome. 571 00:22:11,067 --> 00:22:13,533 And no, I'm not in love with my captor. 572 00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,800 I'm just using him for somewhere to live. 573 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,600 Meg, this is a terrible idea. 574 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:18,833 It's one of your worst. 575 00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:20,167 He's got a juicer. 576 00:22:20,267 --> 00:22:21,267 How can you afford this? 577 00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:22,867 Aren't you meant to be unemployed? 578 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,800 Girlfriend's don't have to pay rent. 579 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:27,567 I'll be paying, Mark. 580 00:22:27,667 --> 00:22:29,267 All new Trankets. 581 00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:32,833 Detachable head rest and comfort earplugs drown out 582 00:22:32,933 --> 00:22:33,933 the sound of the wife. 583 00:22:33,967 --> 00:22:35,533 Malcolm, you can't say that. 584 00:22:35,633 --> 00:22:38,100 Sorry, or civil partner. 585 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,900 So, um, all the features of a traditional blanket 586 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,633 plus sleeves, but with a blow-up headrest 587 00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:47,133 and eye mask attachment. 588 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:51,067 70% polyester, very sensual to the touch. 589 00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:52,600 Did you ask the universe to make 590 00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:53,776 you look like a massive twat? 591 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,967 Am I pulling it off? 592 00:22:55,067 --> 00:22:57,667 It looks like a Jedi's fucked a bush baby. 593 00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:59,033 In a hot way? 594 00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:01,633 I've got a really good feeling about this summer. 595 00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:29,367 Bwark. 40125

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