All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S11E03

[Wess] If nobody wants me,
then nobody can hurt me.

[woman 1] Somewhere
in me is this little
glimmer of hope.

I just want to be
a normal person.

[exhaling heavily]

[man] You can't do it
and then I just get mad.

[woman 2] If I don't
make a change now,

I'm scared
it's gonna be too late.

[groaning]

It hurts.

[woman 3] I refuse
to stop fighting.

I have to do this
for my children.

You've part of this system
that fundamentally

You've part of this system
that fundamentally

refuses to acknowledge
core parts of your existence.

[Wess] My first thought waking
up every morning usually is,

"Thank you for letting me
wake up the next day."

Every day you wake up
is a blessing,

especially at my size.

I am very grateful that
I'm as mobile as I am.

I am very grateful that
I'm as mobile as I am.

But I'm scared that
it's getting to be
less and less.

[groans]

Over the last few months,
my walking ability

has decreased
more and more.

And that scares me.

'Cause I never wanna
be bedbound.

Because of my lymphedema,
I have to keep my legs

elevated as much
as possible.

And so I spend
most of my time
in my adjustable bed.

The last time
my doctor examined it,

The last time
my doctor examined it,

he told me just on its own,
the mass weighs 40 pounds.

So when I walk,
it gets in the way.

And I can only move
at a glacial pace.

Have you ever seen
a penguin walk where they...

They walk side to side.

That's what I feel
like when I walk.

On a good day, I can
walk maybe 50 feet

and then I have to rest.

On a bad day,
just the physical act

On a bad day,
just the physical act

of carrying all the weight
on my stomach

while my lymphedema
is tugging me down,

creates a pain
that is so intense,

I wanna pass out.

I remember growing up,
we always saw those

commercials of those
old people that are like,

"Help, I've fallen.
I can't get up."

And you always
laugh at it.

You think, "Oh,
ha-ha, how funny."

Now let me tell you,
at this size, I have fallen

and I have fallen where
I couldn't get up right away,

and I have fallen where
I couldn't get up right away,

and the first thing that
runs through your mind is,

"Oh, my God.
I'm gonna die."

I make sure that
my front door is unlocked

so that if I fell
in the bathtub

while I was
taking a shower,

I could scream loud enough
for my phone to dial 911.

And then 911 could come
over because my door

was unlocked and they
could get me up.

Because when the water's
running and it's soapy,

even the smallest
movement poses a risk
that I could slip.

Because sometimes
my lymphedema

can pull me backwards
and throw me off balance,

and I've got a lot
of body folds to move
and to clean.

And so I've gotta
hold the stomach up

and I've gotta get in there

and clean under
all the crevices

and all the nooks
and crannies.

After a few minutes
of bending and balancing,

my breath gets
really shallow,

and then my legs
start to shake,

and so it's a very
difficult process.

But it has to be done.

[breathing heavily]

[sighs in relief]

After I get out of the shower,
I just kinda like to air dry.

So, also then I'll...
I'll, like, towel dry my hair,

my arms, and like,
my regular, like, body.

And then I got a little fan
that really helps me

to dry the places
that I can't reach
with the towel.

But, mainly
I'll just kinda sit

But, mainly
I'll just kinda sit

and think about what
I'll order for breakfast.

And oh my,
the thought of eating,

especially the first time
in the morning,

is so exhilarating.

I don't love the way
my body looks,

it's hard to deal with
everybody scrutinizing me.

So I'm grateful
I can always rely

on ordering through
the app on my phone.

One of the perks
of living by yourself

is being able to eat
breakfast naked.

is being able to eat
breakfast naked.

I don't enjoy clothes
'cause clothes can be
quite restrictive,

especially at this size,
there's not very many
clothes for you.

So, I wear clothes
when I leave
the house obviously,

but when I'm home,
I do what I need to do
to be comfortable.

There's never a limit
to how many
breakfast burritos

I can eat after
my morning shower

It's like I like
to eat them so much,

that when I'm chewing,

that when I'm chewing,

I cram it in
and I get this
high off of it.

And I just like...

it's like float...
I don't know
how to describe it,

it's like
floating in the sky.

Growing up, my parents
didn't have a lot of money

but my dad did love
to cook good food.

And the portions that
he served my sister and I

were generous
to say the least.

My idea of what
a portion was
growing up is

way jacked up.

way jacked up.

And I grew up
associating

large meals with
my father's love.

Outside of eating,
my childhood was
all doom and gloom.

My parents divorced
when I was three.

And my dad got custody
because my mother

is an alcoholic.

He was an over
the road truck driver
so he was gone a lot.

So my older sister...
I'm six years old,

my sister's 13, 14.

my sister's 13, 14.

And she really
stepped in when
I was growing up.

She's seven years
older than I am.

We're so spaced out in age

that it almost feels like
I'm a single kid somewhat.

And so I was home
a lot by myself.

That's when
a family member

was very sexually
abusive towards me.

And it took my
childhood away from me.

He did a lot
of horrible,
horrible things.

Things that I would
never wish upon a child,
upon my worst enemy.

Things that I would
never wish upon a child,
upon my worst enemy.

I hope that they've gotten
the help that they need,

because I will
never get over it.

When you suffer

a traumatic childhood
or a traumatic event

when you're that young,

whatever age it happens,

it's almost like you get
stuck emotionally there.

And you have to cope
with that somehow

and so I just ate.

And just ate and ate
and ate and ate.

But I didn't care because
being fat kept people away.

But I didn't care because
being fat kept people away.

I never want
someone to hurt me.

So the best way
to avoid being hurt

is to just isolate yourself,

not form attachments,

and the best way not
to form an attachment

is to make
yourself undesirable.

If nobody wants me,

then nobody can hurt me.

So, I would gorge
myself on food.

It was hard for me
to entertain the thought

that someone would
ever flirt with me

or find me attractive.

But I was curious.

So when I was 13,
I started fooling
around on the Internet.

And my dad caught me
talking to this older man

that I was attracted to.

So I had no choice
but to come out

to my dad
that I was gay.

And it was met
with resistance.

It was made very known
to me that that is not...
acceptable.

It was made very known
to me that that is not...
acceptable.

And was asked to go
to my local pastor
and talk about it.

And I had a couple
of conversations with him.

My inner monologue
was like,
"This is bull [bleep]."

But you know, you see
what you wanna see.

But I was left feeling
like I had been
abandoned emotionally,

just like I felt after
I was molested.

Which did nothing to help
with my issues with food.

It just became an even
bigger source of comfort.

Going into my
freshman year,
I was 345 pounds.

Going into my
freshman year,
I was 345 pounds.

But I didn't wanna
come out that I was gay
to my classmates.

In my sophomore year,
I started auditioning
for school plays.

And in my senior year,
I was cast in a lead part.

And that's when
I fell in love with
performing on stage.

When I graduated
from high school,

the local junior college
had a drama department

and I got chosen
for another major role
in this play.

There were some other
gay kids in my theater class

and they invited me
to hang with them,

and we started going
to bars together.

I discovered
how to party

I discovered
how to party

and, uh, it was on.

And before I knew it,
I had blown through
my college loans

partying and binge eating
fast foods when I was
living with my friends.

And I wasn't going
to school anymore.

I just fell into this rut.

I was not
accomplishing anything.

So I left my hometown
to take an office job
in Houston.

So I left my hometown
to take an office job
in Houston.

But moving to the heart
of a big city where

I didn't know anybody
was no ticket to paradise.

And I just started descending
into this depression.

I would eat
two medium pizzas

an eight piece
of chicken,

and wash it down
with two sodas

in one sitting.

It was not a good
time in my life.

You know, I was already
teetering with depression

from my weight
and everything,

from my weight
and everything,

and so the stress
just got to be a lot.

I lost my job,

lost my apartment,

lost my car,

had to move in
with my parents.

That's not a easy thing
to do, I should say, at 33.

It's kind of embarrassing.

And kind of had
a little bit of a...

a nervous breakdown,
if you wanna say that.

And even though
I knew there wasn't a job

for someone my size
in our little town,

I would still
look everyday.

And then, high speed
Internet came to town.

And then, high speed
Internet came to town.

And finally,
after several months,

I found a job
working from home.

And I did that job

and, uh,

that gave me the funds
to be able to pay rent
to live on my own.

-Hello.
-You ready?

Yes, sir.

My dad takes me
to the store

to help me go
and get groceries.

-Some help?
-No, I got it.

Because I am too big
to fit behind a steering wheel

Because I am too big
to fit behind a steering wheel

and to drive my car.

-You got it, Wess?
-I got it. [sighs]

-[Rick] You gonna make it?
-[Wess] Uh-huh.

I'm gonna try.

My legs are hurting.

[Rick] You wanna go
back outside and sit down?

Yeah.

Standing and, like,
leaning against the wall

if I have no support,
my stomach is gonna
start pulling me and

you'll see me like
lean forward, go down.

Okay, I'm done.

I gotta go outside
and sit down.

I can't do this anymore.

[grunts]

[sighs]

-Hello.
-[Wess] Hey.

You think you're gonna
be much longer, uh,

I'm ready to go

[stutters] and I need to eat
some lunch or something.

Okay, I'll... I'll, uh,
be out in a minute.

All right, thank you.

My family is very good
at ignoring the elephant
in the room.

So we've never addressed
the food addiction.

So we've never addressed
the food addiction.

-$116.66. Is that it?
-That's it.

But for me, food
is a huge comfort.

It is...

my drug of choice.

Food was euphoric for me.

[Rick] Are you feeling
all right, Wess?

Mm, no, I'm not, I'm...

I'm embarrassed.

I actually feel
like a loser.

A grown man, I can't even
buy groceries on my own,

A grown man, I can't even
buy groceries on my own,

you know.

[Rick] Well,
you're not a loser

-by any means.
-I know, thank you.

I have triggers when
it comes to eating

and a lot of it
is just stress related.

Any time I feel
like I'm stressed,

the first thing
I head for is food.

It's that vicious cycle of,

I eat 'cause I feel bad
and then I get big
'cause I eat.

But I get big 'cause I eat,
but I eat 'cause I feel bad.

But even with my family,
I prefer to eat alone

But even with my family,
I prefer to eat alone

because food is my

security blanket.

I use it as a reward
and I eat so much
and I cram it in.

But I usually don't stop
until the food is gone.

[sighs] Thank you, Dad.
I sure do appreciate it.

I don't mind helping.

I'm gonna put these
in the icebox.

Those go in that
cupboard over there.

There's never a moment
in my life where I'm not
thinking about food.

It's very hard for me
to admit I have a problem.

'Cause it's like
any addiction.

Your mind

creates the addiction

and then you use that
as an excuse to keep eating.

And then you just want
more and more and more

and you're never satisfied.

I would say without a doubt,
100%, I am a food addict.

I have lost control
and my food controls me.

I have imprisoned myself

in this body,
in this lifestyle.

in this body,
in this lifestyle.

And

I need to serve my time

and do the work,
pay my debt back,

and that's gonna be
through exercising and diet,

so that I can get out
of this prison.

Instead of telling
my family

and friends that
I have a problem,

I just won't have
them come over.

And I'll ask them
not to come over

and I won't
invite them over.

I've walled myself off
so I don't get hurt.

And that's just part
of this journey that
I'm going through,

that I'm gonna have
to break those walls down

that I'm gonna have
to break those walls down

and... and learn to let
people back in.

I need to get serious
about... about this.

You know, I need help.

-Let's go.
-[clears throat]

[Wess] Today
I'm finally gonna do something
about my weight problem.

Just about an hour from here

there is a world class surgeon
who works on people my size.

And I've known
about him for a while

And I've known
about him for a while

and I finally decided that
it's time for me to go see him

to try to get his help.

Oh, it's cold in here.

[Rick] Think a eighth
of a tank
get you to Rosenberg?

-Sorry?
-[Rick speaking]

Yeah. 78 miles.

[Wess panting]

-[Rick] You okay?
-[Wess] Yeah.

[Wess panting]

[Wess panting]

[Wess]
Just catching my breath.

[panting]

[grunts]

-You all right?
-Yeah.

[Wess] It's nice and cold
in this damn car, isn't it?

[Rick] I turned it on
a little bit early.

[both laugh]

[Rick] Hey Wess, how...
Are you worried about this?

[Rick] Hey Wess, how...
Are you worried about this?

Are you scared
to go up here or what?

[Wess sighs]

I'm ready
to see Dr. Now. It's...

I'm ready just to start
this whole process

and get it over with.

And... I'm ready
to make this change.

[Rick]
And a big change it will be.

-Yup.
-It's just gonna be

a great feeling
for me to see you...

...being able to do
normal things again.

...being able to do
normal things again.

Yeah, you'll be able to
walk where you wanna walk now.

Be able to
get the hell away from y'all,

that's what
I'll be able to do.

[laughs]

Are you okay back there, Wess?

Are you comfortable?

About as comfortable
as I can be

but I'm a little too tall
to sit back here.

-Squat down.
-Feel like the...

[Rick] You have to
squat down a little bit.

[Rick laughs]

[Wess] Pretty much
everything gives me anxiety.

So, something like this

where there's
everything on the line,

my health,
my future, my whole life...

I feel like
I have a pit in my stomach.

More than anything,
I'm just afraid to hear
what Dr. Now has to say.

Now we're here and my anxiety
is really, really bad.

Dr. Now might be

the last chance
that I have to save my life

and stop
from eating myself to death.

I'm desperate for his help

and I just hope to God
that he doesn't turn me away

and I just hope to God
that he doesn't turn me away

and tell me
that he can't help me.

[breathing heavily]

[grunts softly and panting]

Wess...

[Wess]
It's been a long time
since I weighed myself.

And back then,
I was in the low 600s.

So, I think I've gained

a little bit of weight
since then.

I'm just hoping I'm below 650.

I'm gonna get lower.

[nurse] You're weight is 705.

[Wess speaking]

Thank you.

[nurse]
We'll be going to room five.

Okay. [panting]

[Wess] That's
a lot worse than I thought.

[sighs]

I've wasted too much time
before getting help.

My situation
has gotten so much worse.

I just pray
that Dr. Now can help me.

[panting]

[grunts]

[knock on door]

Hello.
How are you all doing?

-Good. How are you?
-Good. How are you?

I'm doing well.

All right.
So, you must be Wess, huh?

-Yes, sir.
-And who is this
young man with you?

This is my dad, Rick.

Nice to meet you guys.
All right, you are 705 lbs.

How long
have you been at that weight?

How long
have you been at that weight?

Um, I know a few years ago,

the last time
I weighed was probably
three or four years ago,

and I was, like,
650 lbs at that time.

So between now and then

it's been anywhere
between 650 and 700.

So what is going on
in the past few years

that you
gained all that weight?

On and off
for the last ten years,
real bad depression.

I see. Have you
seen anybody for that?

-Any therapist?
-No. No.

-Any therapist?
-No. No.

When you eat food,
you feel better.

You find food to comfort you.

-Mm-hmm.
-So, what issue are you
trying to avoid by doing that?

Um, there's
a lot of things in my past

that I'm probably
working through

and I probably
use food to deal with that.

All right.
So, do you stay home all day?

Yes, sir.

Who else is
in the household beside you?

I live by myself
but I live close to my family,

my dad and my aunts and so
they're over pretty regularly.

my dad and my aunts and so
they're over pretty regularly.

So, you sit at home,

-alone most of the time
and eat.
-Yeah.

So, your BMI's 112.

Normal BMI is 18 to 25.

And being over
100 BMI is very high.

Your weight
is putting a lot of strain
on your body right now.

-How old are you right now?
-36.

36 and you've got
a pretty serious issue
with your weight

and you're
tolerating that at the moment

but you're getting older,

on top of wear and tear
from the strain of your weight

on top of wear and tear
from the strain of your weight

on your body for years.

So, very soon
things are gonna change

and your body
is gonna get to a point

where you can't
go on like this anymore.

Then everything
is going to wrong direction

and you're not
pulling out of that.

So you have to decide
if you want to change.

Because if you don't,

then you're not gonna
be able to even walk.

You're gonna stay in your bed,

then you're
gonna be bedridden,

depending on people
to come and help you out.

And then once you get
bedridden, then it's over.

And then once you get
bedridden, then it's over.

Your health is gonna
go downhill really quick

and that's gonna
happen really soon

if you keep going like this.

So are you willing
to make the changes?

100%, yes sir.
I want to get to

where I can live
and do things on my own again.

What is something
you want to do with your life?

I've always... I always
wanted to be on stage.

-Be in front of people.
Talk, act, whatever...
-Acting.

...things like that.
I always loved it.

It was always
a passion of mine.

Hopefully this will allow me
to get up and do that again.

Hopefully this will allow me
to get up and do that again.

Well, keep that dream

in front of you
to keep you motivated.

Because you're gonna
have to work hard

if you want to succeed

and turn your
life around. Okay?

-Okay.
-The first step is to show me
that you're ready for this

by losing some weight
and with your current weight,

you have to lose
at least 100 lbs.

And this is not something
that is gonna be easy

but you're gonna have to
bite the bullet and do that.

You need to stick to
the 1200 calories a day,

high protein, low carb diet
that I'm going to give you

high protein, low carb diet
that I'm going to give you

and if you do that,
then we might consider you

for weight loss surgery.

But if you're unable
to lose that weight,

not only we won't be
able to do your surgery,

because of how
compromised your system is,

but there would be no point
of doing weight loss surgery

because if you
aren't willing to work at this

then the surgery
will eventually fail

and won't change anything.

-Right. Okay.
-Okay?

So at this point you need to

start working hard
to change your life.

-Okay.
-You think you can do that?

-Yes, sir.
-All right, any questions?

-Yes, sir.
-All right, any questions?

No. No, sir.

All right. So,
I'm gonna bring you some stuff

and see if we can get you
going in the right direction.

-All right. Thank you, sir.
-Okay. I'll be back.

-Thank you, sir.
-You're welcome.

I don't care
how much weight I lose,

I'm not gardening
and I'm not going hunting.

-I can't force you.
-No.

Wess has let himself get to

a very dangerous place
with his health

a very dangerous place
with his health

and I'm concerned about him

because he is over 700 lbs
and his BMI is over 100

and he's been
at that size for a while now.

So it is
just a matter of time
before his body gives up.

So it's very important that
Wess turn things around now

if we wants to prevent
that from happening.

All right.

I got a few things for you.

Okay. First thing
I want you to do is

read that
very carefully. Okay?

read that
very carefully. Okay?

So, go through that,

make a note,

make sure
you understand every line

and if you have any questions,

then you're gonna
have to ask about it.

[Dr. Now] So we got our work
cut out for us with Wess.

Ideally he should be
around 200 lbs.

So, he's got
4-500 lbs to lose

and that's gonna be
a big challenge for him and us

to get him to the point that

it's gonna be safe to do
weight loss surgery on him.

it's gonna be safe to do
weight loss surgery on him.

Your frequency should be

three times a day,
no snacking between the meal,

amount should be
around 400 calories
if you eat three time a day

and if you eat two time a day,

it will be 600 calories.

I'm gonna give you
a copy of my book to do
this chapter 12, the exercise.

And these exercise is
geared to do
for a person like you.

And you work on this
one hour in the morning

and one hour in the evening.

That won't be easy

That won't be easy

and it's gonna
take a lot of effort

and hard work
to make that happen.

But regardless,
what happens from here

is all up to Wess.

No one but him
can make the choice to change.

And he doesn't have
any time to waste.

You got to lose
at least 100 lbs
over the next two months.

If you do that,
then we'll consider
weight loss surgery.

-Okay.
-So read the stuff
that I gave you every night,

make the changes
and stick to it.

Yes, sir.

-Okay?
-Okay.

All right. In the mean time

if you need anything,
give me a call.

-Yes, sir. Thank you.
-All right.

-Nice to see you guys.
-You too.

-[Rick] Thank you.
-[Wess] Thank you.

You're welcome.

-You ready to get out of here?
-I'm ready.

-Let's go.
-Need some help?

No, I got it.

[Wess] I think the meeting
with Dr. Now went well.

As good as to be expected.

I think what Dr. Now
told me is doable.

I think what Dr. Now
told me is doable.

It's gonna take
some hard work on my end

and doing some things
I haven't done in a few years.

So... You know, it's all
a mental game, right?

I think this is gonna be
very hard for me to do

but I have no other option.
This is my last resort.

Leaving this meeting
with Dr. Now,

I know that he has
given me the tools that I need

and if I use
what he's given me

and build upon them,

then I will probably
have a better future.

Hopefully it will get me to
a place where I can imagine
living in that future.

[grunts]

[knock on door]

Come in.

-Wesley?
-Yes, sir.

What's going on?

Nothing. What are you doing?

I've come to
help you out a little bit.

-With what?
-We're gonna clean out
your cupboards today.

-Yeah.
-It's time.

-Yeah.
-It's time.

The time is here.

-Well...
-You ready?

[Wess] Let's get her done.

[Wess] It's been two days
since I've seen Dr. Now.

We came back that same day

and my dad
gave me time to rest

and prepare
for the big cleanse.

Where do you
want to start in at?

[Wess] Let's do the cupboard.

Everything but the soups

and the chicken broth.

[Wess] All the junk food,
all the crap that I eat,

[Wess] All the junk food,
all the crap that I eat,

it is now gonna go bye-bye.

[Rick exclaims]

I don't know
what you're talking about.

-I don't see anything.
-They were hidden back there.

[Wess] I don't see
anything in your hands.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Get rid of 'em. Bye.

I don't think I should've
taken my dad to see Dr. Now

because now my dad thinks

that he has carte blanche

to tell me what to eat
and what not to eat.

And I like control.

[Rick] You can't have
this pasta, can you?

-[Rick] Nope.
-[Wess] Oh, God, that hurts.

-[Rick] Nope.
-[Wess] Oh, God, that hurts.

I'll leave you
the wire basket.

I know.

Gone.

-Cookie pop popcorn, no good.
-You know,

this was okay
when you first came over

but now you're really, like...

[Rick] I'm the junk food
junkie police.

You're doing it now.

-What is that?
-It's a chocolate bar
with almonds.

[Rick]
You've got a stash in there?

-Just go find out.
-[Rick laughs]

[wrappers crinkling]

What do you got in here, Wess?

[Rick clears throat] Wow.

It's gonna be all right, Wess.

[Wess] My dad does love me

but sometimes
I just wanna be left alone.

but sometimes
I just wanna be left alone.

Wess, I'm gonna
take this to the food bank.

He needs a little boot
every once in a while.

You know,
help him stay started

but he's gonna do good.

I know he will.

[Wess] It's been
almost five weeks

since I started
on Dr. Now's program

since I started
on Dr. Now's program

and it hasn't been
a walk in the park

but I've been
working hard at it.

My dad has been coming over

just about every day
to help me with my exercises,

eat with me
and keep me accountable.

But I don't wanna
be a burden to my dad.

So I told him
this is what we'll do for now,

I'll take his help but after
I get approved for surgery.

I need to be able
to do this on my own.

My dad does love me.

He's a good dad
and he looks out for me.

He's a good dad
and he looks out for me.

But I know
that I'm going to

have to get by without
my dad's help as well.

-Hey, Wess.
-Hello.

You ready? You ready
to go for a walk?

Imma try. Let's go.

Here you go.

I brought you some relief.

Thank you.
Let me see your arm.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

-You got it?
-Yes.

-You wanna walk on the road?
-Yeah.

-It's easier
than walking here.
-Yes, sir.

[Wess] In the morning
we do my exercises.

And it takes a lot out of me

but I'm getting
better at it now.

I can walk
to the dumpster and back.

Whereas before,
I could barely
even walk outside.

-Gotta get that blood going.
-[Wess laughs]

How many times a day
can you do this?

Twice.

Two times. It's hard on you.

Yeah.

You'll get in shape.
You'll get used to it.

I'm trying my best.

[Wess] The lymphedema
on my leg is miserable.

But I know I have
to fight through the pain.

So it's a lot.
But I feel good
about how I'm doing.

And I still have about
another month to go
before I see the doctor.

-Are you okay?
-Let's stop.

You wanna wait a minute
before you go back?

Yeah.

-Let me catch my breath.
-All right.

[panting]

[panting]

How was that walk?

[Wess] I'm ready to die.

No. Come on.

Pretty soon you'll be able
to do that without even
thinking about it.

-Yeah. I know.
-You won't even breathe hard.

I'll get there.

-You'll be jogging
pretty soon.
-Let's go back.

You're ready?

As I'm ever gonna be.

Well, just keep
it in your mind

it's a positive thing for you.

it's a positive thing for you.

Yeah.

[Rick] Since
the doctor's visit

Wess has really
been doing good.

He's really trying
to stay on his diet.

It makes me happy
to see Wess losing weight

and really caring
about himself again.

Oh, damn.

Use the post.

[panting]

Oh.

You all right?

Yeah. I just gotta
catch my breath.

I'm moving 700 pounds.
It ain't easy.

I know.

You know, I am
a little nervous to see
Dr. Nowzaradan today.

I certainly hope
that I've lost enough weight.

If I didn't lose enough weight
I think he'll be mad at me

and I hope he'll still
let me have the surgery

and I hope he'll still
let me have the surgery

cause I desperately need this.

[Wess] I know I haven't
been perfect everyday

and I've strayed off
the diet more than once.

But almost everyday
I was good.

I didn't compromise or cheat.

And I know I worked hard
on my exercises

because my stamina
is much better now.

I'm feeling as good
as I felt in a long time.

Wess?

-Hello.
-How are you?

-[Wess] How are you?
-[indistinct conversation]

[Wess] I know
I'm getting better.

I just don't know
if my progress

is fast enough for Dr. Now.

And there is only
one way to find out.

[Wess] I'm at Dr. Nowzaradan's
clinic for my first follow up

to see if I've lost
enough weight for him
to move forward with me.

At my last appointment,

I was 705 pounds.

Dr. Now told me to lose
100 pounds in two months

to get down to 605 today.

[woman] Your weight is 695.

[woman] Your weight is 695.

[Wess] That's really
disappointing.

Okay. We'll be going
to room five.

Thank you.

[Wess] I really thought
I had done much
better than that.

And the fact that I haven't
is very discouraging.

And frankly, I'm not sure
what I'm gonna do

because that was as hard
as I knew how to work.

[breathing heavily]

-Hello.
-Hello.

How are you doing?

-[Wess] Good.
How are you doing?
-[Rick] Good, ow are you?

All right. So, Wess,

at 695. In two months you
only lost a whole
10 pound of weight.

at 695. In two months you
only lost a whole
10 pound of weight.

-[Wess] Yes, sir.
-So, what's
going on with that?

Guess I didn't follow
the diet correctly.
I don't know.

That's all I can say,
is I didn't follow the best
of the way I could have.

In what way? Tell me what you
did that you shouldn't have.

There's been a couple of days

that I have cheated
on my diet.

I will admit that.

Several days that
I have cheated on my diet.

So, I already
explained the danger

if you stay
at the weight you are in.

So, what are you waiting for?

So, what are you waiting for?

I don't have...

I don't know what
to say other than

I messed up.

And all I can do is...

try harder.

Why didn't you do it already?
What happened?

[stutters] I'm telling you
I didn't stick with the diet.

You asked me what happened.

I'm telling you I didn't
stick with the diet.

What's the purpose of coming
and telling me that?

To hold me accountable.

So, you want me to be the one

to motivate you to lose weight

and keep you from gaining?

and keep you from gaining?

Do I need to call you everyday

and ask you please follow
the diet so you can live?

No, sir.

I guess I need...

I need it...
How do I say this?

I need it in my face.
Does that make sense?

I need it like...

I get what you're saying
but if you depend on me

to make a difference
then you are never
gonna succeed.

You have to motivate yourself

to want to do this,
you know, to save your life.

But this is your life
and your future.

But this is your life
and your future.

And you have to decide

if it is worth more
to you than food.

It is.

I am happy that
I'm losing some weight.

It's not enough.

Um, it needs to be more.

But I am happy that I have
lost even 10 pounds
at this point.

Well, you know, you need
some perfecting on that.

If you lose at this rate,
five pounds a month,

then it's gonna take 10 years
to get your weight down.

That's never gonna happen.

That's never gonna happen.

You know, you're not
gonna stick with that.

And you're gonna
start to gain again

and you won't
survive that long.

So, it's good that
you are losing

but you need to understand
you're still not doing what
you need to save your life.

-[Wess] Yes, sir.
-Okay?

So, are you happy that
at least you're losing

because your expectation is
that you should be
gaining weight, right?

Yes, sir.

Okay. That is
a destructive mindset

that you need to get out of.

So 10 pound, you can lose
10 pound in two days.

So 10 pound, you can lose
10 pound in two days.

At your weight
that's nothing, okay?

So, you're still overeating
around 6,500 calories a day.

If you stick
to 1,200 calorie a day diet,

you're gonna lose at least
two to five pounds a day now.

-Mm-hmm.
-Okay?

So, this is gonna be
a positive thing for you.

And so that is a optimistic
way of looking at it that

you lost 10 pounds
in two months.

But then in reality,
you are 700 pound

and it seems like you're
taking this very casually.

and it seems like you're
taking this very casually.

So, this is a situation that
you're gonna have to do
your part to lose weight.

-Yes.
-[Dr. Now] Okay?
Work hard for it.

So, if you don't wanna
work hard for it

and you wanna have that
surgery done to lose weight,

that's gonna have to take
some work from you.

And it's gonna be
determination,
sticking with your diet,

doing your part and all that.

Yes, sir.

-Okay?
-Okay.

So I'm gonna give you another
two months to lose 90 pounds

So I'm gonna give you another
two months to lose 90 pounds

that you still owe me

and if you don't make
the changes,

and if you're not able
to lose the weight,

then the surgery
is out of question for you.

Yes, sir.

But in two months,
if you haven't lost
any weight,

there's no point
in coming back
and telling me that

you didn't follow the diet.

Yes, sir.

-[Dr. Now] Okay?
-Okay.

But if you lose that
then we can work with you.

-All right?
-Yes, sir.

So, at this point,
it's all up to you.

So, at this point,
it's all up to you.

Yes, sir.

Dad, have you been
helping him?

Well, I know that Wess
wants to lose the weight.

I think that maybe I need
to help him a little bit more

and be more, you know,
push him a little bit.

I'm gonna have to step in
and help I think.

Well, you know, that's good.

But no matter what,
it is Wess's responsibility

to be proactive
and have control over

his eating habits. Okay?

So, Wess, stick with the
healthy eating habit

and we're gonna see how
you're doing in two months.

Yes, sir.

-Okay?
-Okay.

Any questions?

No, sir, thank you.

Okay. You're gonna
have to eventually deal

with your emotional issues
behind your overeating.

But right now you have
to take the first step

and show me that you're
willing to work on this.

If you are then we'll give you
the tools to keep you going.

But if not then nothing
we do will last for you.

So, you have to do this.

-Okay?
-All right.

All right. We're gonna see
how we do next time
when we see you.

Okay.

And if you need
anything let me know.

-Thank you.
-All right.
See you in two months.

-[Wess] All right. Thank you.
-Okay.

What do you think?

I think I got
my ass handed to me.

[laughs] Well, I know that.

Wess doesn't seem to believe
the reality of his situation

and how dangerous
it is for him to continue
at this weight.

and how dangerous
it is for him to continue
at this weight.

So, he's still choosing food
over his life and dreams.

But if he doesn't
wake up right now

and start doing what he needs,

then it's not gonna be long
before everything I'm warning
him of starts to happen

and once he does,
he's gonna be out of time.

So, the clock
is ticking for him

and if he doesn't want to get
to a point of no return,

he has to take
responsibility for his life

and actions now.

[Wess] I think Dr. Now
did what I needed.

I think it was
a shock to my system.

I have to remind myself that

it comes from
a place of caring.

People don't get
to be 700 pounds

without living in a world
of their own creating,

without being able
to deny reality. Right?

They don't get to be this size
without having enablers
in their life.

Dr. Now has to be that person

that pulls them out of that

false world they have
and brings them to reality.

false world they have
and brings them to reality.

And he does that because he
doesn't wanna see them hurt.

He doesn't wanna see them die.
He wants them to live.

And I'm not blaming
anybody else.

It is my fault
that I got this size.

[Wess] It's been a month since
my follow up with Dr. Now.

And in many ways,
that appointment

was a bigger wakeup call
than my first one

because I am finally trying
to turn my life around.

because I am finally trying
to turn my life around.

And I thought
I was doing better.

But then to see that
I had only lost 10 pounds,

I was mortified.

I know I have to do
a lot better than that

and I'm determined
to make sure that I do.

I don't want another repeat
when I go back to Dr. Now

and have the same
lousy progress.

I can't disappoint
him like that.

That look he gives you,

you don't ever
wanna get that look.

[laughing]

Once was enough.

So, I am taking
responsibility for myself.

I am not looking for anyone
else to motivate me.

I heard him tell my dad

that it's not
his responsibility

or anyone else's to make me do
what I need to do.

The way he was
checking on me everyday

was only gonna be
for a couple of months

until I lost the weight
I needed to for the surgery.

And I didn't do that.
So that's on me.

My dad shouldn't
have to keep bearing
the responsibility for that.

My dad shouldn't
have to keep bearing
the responsibility for that.

And other people
in my family need him too.

So, I told my dad
this is something

I need to do on my own.

I need to be the one
to make the changes

like Dr. Now said.

I'm sticking to the program.

It's kicking my butt
but I'm still doing it

and I'm doing
all the exercises each day.

And more importantly,

I've cut back on my eating
a whole lot more.

I've cut back on my eating
a whole lot more.

Close to 1,200 calories a day.

I stay away from sugar, carbs

and there's been no cheating
with that at all.

It's hard but I've stuck
to it with the whole month.

I plan to stick with it
for the next month too

and way beyond because
I'm serious about this.

And I really hope
when I go back to see
Dr. Now in a month

that the scale says
I'm serious too.

[Wess] Well, we're headed back
to Dr. Now's again.

I am really, really nervous

because a lot is riding on
what the scale has to say.

I can't mess it up again
like I did last time.

And I've worked extra hard
to make sure it's gonna
be different today.

I know if I haven't lost
enough weight this time,

I'm gonna be really screwed

because I've done
everything I could

possibly do this time around.

Next.

[Wess] At my last weigh in,
I was 694 pounds

[Wess] At my last weigh in,
I was 694 pounds

and Dr. Now said
I had to lose 90 pounds

in two months.

And if I did that, I'd be
down to at least 604 today.

That's good.

-Well...
-Going down.

-It's there-- it's something.
-[both laughing]

Thank you.

[Wess] That feels really good,

I've never lost
that much weight
in my entire life

and I'm really proud
of myself for doing that.

I just really hope
that Dr. Now,

can look past the fact
that I was a couple of pounds
short of my goal.

can look past the fact
that I was a couple of pounds
short of my goal.

[knock on door]

Hello, how are you all doing?

-Hello.
-[Rick] Good. How are you?

I'm good, thank you.

All right, Wess.

So, it looks like you
figured out what to do,
to lose some weight, right?

So, it looks like you
figured out what to do,
to lose some weight, right?

Yes, sir.

So you're down to 606?

Yes, sir.

So you lost 100 lbs
like you needed.

Yes, sir.

You kicked my butt last time
I was here, I didn't want
to do that again.

-You're right.
-[laughing]

So we'll go ahead then
and approve you for surgery.

-Thank you.
-Okay?

[Rick] Cool.

So, we're gonna set you
up for surgery for next month

and until then,
continue to lose weight.

-Okay.
-'Cause if you go to
the hospital

and you haven't lost
any weight,

we're gonna send you home.

Yeah. [laughing]

Yeah. [laughing]

-Okay?
-Yes, sir.

All right. Also, continue
to work on your exercises too,
don't forget about those.

And see if you can improve
your stamina, okay?

-Okay, I'll do it.
-All right then.

-Any questions?
-No, sir.

All right, I'm proud of
your progress, so keep it up,

until the surgery.

-Okay?
-Yes, sir.

Thank you for everything.

-You're welcome.
-[Rick] Thank you, doc.

I'm very happy to see
that Wess got serious
about his health and his life

I'm very happy to see
that Wess got serious
about his health and his life

and start taking
responsibility for
his choices.

He's taken the first step
and shown me,

he's willing to work,
to do what he needs
to improve his life.

So we can move ahead
with him and give him
more tools,

to help him get healthy.

He still has a long road ahead

but weight loss surgery is
going to be an important step

that will help him
get to his goal.

But the real hard work
is still ahead for him.

So, it's not time for him
to let up at all,

So, it's not time for him
to let up at all,

he needs to keep working hard
and do everything he needs.

If he expects to succeed
and improve his health
for the long term.

I got approved for my surgery.

[Wess] I am elated,

I-- Words cannot describe
how I feel, I think
I'm in shock right now.

When I came last time,
those numbers were
a wakeup call.

With such
a world of delusion,
that I was living in,

With such
a world of delusion,
that I was living in,

I vowed to myself
that was never gonna
happen again.

So I'm not gonna let myself
do anything to waste
this chance.

Bye.

I'll see you when you get out.

[laughs] Bye.

-I love you.
-I love you too, bye.

I am feeling trepidacious,
I guess the best word
to describe it.

I'm anxious, I'm excited,

nervous, it's scary.

You know the unknown is
scary, plus...

You know I think
at the end of the day,
this represents a change

and this is a culmination of,

everything that I have
been scared to dream
about for years now.

I finally decided
to commit to that and do it

and this is like,
gonna make it real.

and this is like,
gonna make it real.

And for someone
who tends to always expect
the worst,

of something to happen,
this is a challenge
to fight that,

monster in
your head of anxiety

and that's what I'm dealing
with right now.

[Dr. Now] Today we're
gonna do a sleeve gastrectomy
on Wess.

He continued to lose weight
and he's down to 582,

so he lost another
24 lbs, this past month.

so he lost another
24 lbs, this past month.

So, he's working hard
and he's ready for
this operation.

But this is
a very risky surgery

because doing surgery
on somebody that size is
still very risky.

If we have any issues
with anesthesia,
with the blood pressure

or oxygen saturation,

then we may have
to stop the surgery.

Okay, let's begin.

[indistinct]

[Dr. Now] Go up.

Look at that...

[Dr. Now] Hold it there.

Bring the robot.

But if we are able to complete
the surgery,

it's gonna be a great help
for him to be able
to lose weight.

[robot] Dock
the remaining arms.

[Dr. Now] All right.
I'm gonna transition to robot.

Because we're doing
an operation that we're gonna
take almost

about 80 percent
of the stomach out

about 80 percent
of the stomach out

and leave him with
a small narrow 20 percent
stomach volume

that is gonna help him
to eat less and be able
to lose more weight.

[machine beeps]

[machine beeps]

Do that again for me.

[indistinct conversation]

I'm a little anxious,

to see how, how it goes,
to see how he does.

It must have been hard
for him, you know, of course,

it's been hard for him
to get around, to just be--
live a normal life.

But it's fixing to get better.

I am very hopeful

and I think it will,
because it took a lot...
on Wess,

you know, on Wess's part,
to even be here.

you know, on Wess's part,
to even be here.

[Dr. Now] Okay,
we're removing
the detached portion.

It's big, isn't it?

Keep pulling, keep pulling.
Keep pulling.

All right.

Got it.

He had a long stomach. Huh?

-[assistant] Mm.
-Put that on
the table over there.

[digital beeping]

Okay, we can
suture him up.

Wess's surgery went very well.

Luckily, we didn't have
any issue with the surgery

and we were able to complete
gastric sleeve on him.

and we were able to complete
gastric sleeve on him.

And after this operation,
he's gonna be able
to lose more weight

and it's gonna be much easier
for him to be able to control
his eating habit.

He's gonna be on
a liquid diet for
the next month

and be able to lose 40 lbs
in the first month,

and after that,
25 lbs a month,

and each month,
until he gets closer
to his ideal body weight.

This was an important step
for Wess today,

but he still has
a lot of work to do
to get to his goal.

Wess has a big lipo lymphedema
masses in both thigh

Wess has a big lipo lymphedema
masses in both thigh

and one side is much bigger
than the other one,

as he loses some weight
we're gonna have
to remove those for him,

to get that
lymphedema corrected.

But the most important thing
is that he's gonna have

to start to deal with
his emotional issues,

that driving him to eat,

or it's gonna be
just a matter of time

before he's starts
to overeat again.

So, we will start him
going to therapy soon,
to keep him on track.

But at this point,
he's doing very well

and hopefully,
next 12 to 18 months,

he's gonna be very close
to his ideal body weight.

he's gonna be very close
to his ideal body weight.

But he has a lot of work
to do to get there.

Come on, let's go water.

Okay, let's go water.

[Wess] It's been a month
since my weight loss surgery
and I'm feeling really good.

-Do you wanna water,
I'll hand you the water hose.
-Yeah.

Need to water this one too.

[Wess] We'll do
this one first.

[Wess] I went back
to see Dr. Now,
for my one month

post op follow up appointment.

Dr. Now cleared me
to work out and do all my
physical activity again.

So, I've actually been
trying to get out and do more.

They're only making it
because it gets shady half
the day.

They're only making it
because it gets shady half
the day.

-Right.
-Look at my asparagus, man.

[Wess] And I've lost 34 lbs
since surgery,

which wasn't bad.

But Doc said it should be
more like 40.

Straighten my hose out.

[Wess] So he was
a little concerned
and he told me,

that I needed to lose
at least 25 lbs over
the course of the next month

to stay on track.

About 15 more feet
and I'll be good.

Done.

[Wess] And I don't want
anything to slow down how much
I should be losing.

Because I wanna keep making
all the progress

I need with my weight loss
and my stamina.

I need to go sit down.

So, I'm very happy
I'm able to do this,

and spend some time
with my dad,

doing something other than
him helping me
or looking after me.

Oh, I like to garden.

You reap your rewards
you know, when you
harvest your...

what you worked hard
at all the spring and stuff.

[Rick] I feel sad to know
that if he doesn't turn
his life around that

he could die.

You know, that doesn't
have to happen.

It'll work out for good
for him,

it's just a matter of him
putting his mind and doing it.

I can only do so much.

-What's this for?
-Taste it.

I'll make you a deal,
you take it home,
chop it up and fry it.

You can't fry them,
it's too hard.

[Wess] Stubborn old man.

[Rick laughs]

[Wess] I'm a little bit scared
about my weigh-in today.

I really just want
to stay on track
and not disappoint Dr. Now,

so I'm hoping I lost
what I should be losing.

I'm paying attention to what
I eat and how much,

and making sure
I'm not grazing or snacking
throughout the day.

and making sure
I'm not grazing or snacking
throughout the day.

And I think I've been
doing well enough
but we'll see.

[door closes]

Wess.

Hello. How are you?

-How are you?
-[sighs in relief] Glad
I made it just past the rain.

-I see it's raining.
-[Wess chuckles]

At my last appointment
I was 548

and I'm supposed to be losing
at least 25 lbs a month.

So, that means I should be
down to 523 today.

Okay.

Okay. Pretty good, huh?

-Real good.
-[chuckles] Yeah, let's go.

Okay, down the hall
to the right, room five

-and I'll let the doctor know
you're ready. Okay?
-Thank you.

[Wess] That's not bad,
but it's not 25,

[Wess] That's not bad,
but it's not 25,

so I'm worried because
I wanna stay on track

and be where I need
to be right now.

And it doesn't look like I am.

[knock on door]

Hello. How are you all doing?

Good. How are you?

Good. How are you?

-You all doing okay?
-I am, yes, sir.

All right. So how do you feel
like your progress coming on?

I think it's doing pretty good
I'm sticking to the diet.

Dad, how's he doing at home?

-Behaving?
-Yeah, he's doing good.

-He's doing good.
Are you happy with that?
-I think he's doing good.

Oh, yeah.

All right, Wess.
So, you're down to 530.

Yes, sir.

So you lost 18 pounds
this month,

which isn't bad but you
should be losing at least
25 lbs a month,

this soon
after weight loss surgery.

And so, you must be
grazing a little during
the day huh?

And so, you must be
grazing a little during
the day huh?

Hmm. No.

You may not realize it
but you are.

The surgery
will only prevent you

from eating too much
at one time.

And get rid of your hunger
and physical drive to eat,

but you can still eat
a little at a time
here and there

and that can add up.

And you're doing that
because of emotional eating.

For somebody in
your weight range that,

you started with,
you have to have
some emotional issues...

-Yes.
-...that driving
you to eating.

-Yes.
-...that driving
you to eating.

And after surgery,
those emotional issues
may come to surface even more.

So I think right now,
is the appropriate time
to get you

to a see a therapist
and work on those issues.

-Yes, sir.
-So, we'll have
a long term result

with your weight loss surgery.

We don't want you
to temporarily lose weight
and gain it back,

because you go back
to the same emotional issues

that drive you to eat
like you did, till you get

to be over 700 lbs.

-Mmm-hmm.
-This is going
to be an important factor

for you to work with
the therapist,

for you to work with
the therapist,

to get everything
under control.

-Yes, sir.
-Okay?

In the meantime,
if you need anything,
give me a call.

-Yes, sir.
-All right.

I'll see you all soon.

-Yes, sir. Thank you.
-Thank you.

Overall I think Wess
is doing well right now.

His weight loss is
a little slow

and my concern is that

that is a crack
in the foundation
we need to pay attention to.

that is a crack
in the foundation
we need to pay attention to.

Anyone who's made it
to Wess's size
is eating compulsively.

Because of emotional issues
driving them to eat.

And if we don't address that,
they won't be successful
in the long term.

After weight loss surgery,

physical hunger is gone

and when the patient
still have drive
to eat after that

at that point they cannot deny
that there's not

a significant emotional
component behind that.

So, that is the best time
to start therapy with them
to address that.

And Wess is at that point.

And Wess is at that point.

[Wess] So, I think starting
therapy is a good idea

and I agree,
it's something I need.

I'm still not necessarily
looking forward to it,

but I'm ready to do it
because the alternative is

for my weight loss
to start slowing down
and I start gaining again.

And that's not
gonna work for me.

Today we are going
to our first appointment
with Dr. Paradise.

I'm excited, so I think
Dr. Paradise could
help me today

with my emotional problems.

You know, I've got
a lot of, uh,

emotional things
that I need to work through.

And I think Dr. Paradise
will, uh,

hopefully help me learn to

hopefully help me learn to

not cope with my emotions
through eating.

That's gonna be my biggest
hope out of all of this.

I'm ready to get this started

and, um, see
where it takes me.

[Dr. Paradise] Wess?

-Hello.
-Hi, I'm Dr. Paradise.
Come on in.

-Come on in. You can
have a seat right over there.
-Yes, sir. Thank you.

-Welcome.
-Hello.

I'm glad you're here.

Tell me about your childhood,
who was in your house?

What was going on
with your parents?

My parents had
a volatile relationship.

-And they divorced
when I was three.
-Okay.

-And they divorced
when I was three.
-Okay.

My dad got custody
in the divorce,
so I lived with him.

And then, um,

-shortly after there.
-Mm-hmm.

Um, another family member
of mine lived close to us.

Consequently, he ended up
molesting me.

What do you remember as a kid?
How did you process that?

I think I just ignored it.

What do you think
that did to you?

Well, I got to 700 pounds,

[laughing] so, apparently
not very well.

[laughing] so, apparently
not very well.

How do you talk
to your parents
about the abuse?

I don't.

My father told me
when I was probably...

11 or 12 that nobody
wanted to hear about it.

That it makes people sad,
so don't talk about it.

I came out at 13.

I was told in no
uncertain terms that it
was not acceptable.

Wess, I feel like you're still

part of the system
that fundamentally

refuses to acknowledge
core parts of your existence.

refuses to acknowledge
core parts of your existence.

-Yeah.
-The fact that
you were abused.

The fact that you're gay,
like,

big, huge parts of your
identity are just swept
under the rug.

How do we make you
own your truth?

[Wess] I don't know.

[Dr. Paradise] Could you
talk to either of your parents
about the abuse?

Could you have a conversation?

Probably not at this point.

Wess, you are a strong,
confident guy.

And I think you could make
a very persuasive argument

to whoever in your family
you're talking to.

to whoever in your family
you're talking to.

That, you know what,
"Our secrets are

-keeping us down."
-Yes.

"And the secrets that you
have kept about me have
kept me down

and they're part of the reason
that I got this big."

And it will facilitate
your believing
that you're worth

the life that you deserve.

That can certainly take
the form of conversations
with your dad.

[Wess] I would...

...be willing to do that.

-I think this is
a big deal, man.
-Mm-hmm.

-I think this is
a big deal, man.
-Mm-hmm.

I think it's all,

it's all positive after this.

I hope.

-I'm so glad you came in.
-Thank you for having me.

-Good to meet you.
-Yes, sir.

[Wess] Today,
the session went pretty well.

We talked about some
hard emotional things that
I haven't faced in a while.

But I think all in all,
it went pretty well.

Part of my homework
is having to have
conversations with my dad

that we probably
haven't had, ever.

So, um, that makes me nervous.

But that's something
that I'm gonna have to
push through.

-Thank you, sir.
-Take care.

It's been a couple of days
since I saw Dr. Paradise.

And today, I'm going
to do my work somewhere
out in the world.

And I'm nervous about it,
'cause I'm not used to
going out into public.

Staying in my bed all day
doesn't lead to good things
for me.

It leads to a lazy life

and it's part of how
I got to where I was.

and it's part of how
I got to where I was.

But now that I've lost
some weight, I'm feeling
better about it.

I'm still big enough
that people will stare

and I'm still afraid
of breaking the furniture.

But as hard as this was,

I know it's nothing compared
to the other stuff that
Dr. Paradise wants me to do.

So I'm planning on
talking to my father
in the next couple of days

and starting a conversation.

There's part of me
that's scared,

but I know that I want
to go through with it.

but I know that I want
to go through with it.

[Wess] Come on in.

-Woo-hoo,
look at all that food.
-[Rick] Lunch time.

Lunch time for you,
you enjoy it while I have
my damn Jell-O.

[laughing]

What did y'all make?

Oh, some pork ribs and...

...sausage.

[Wess] Mmm,
let me smell it, that'll,

that'll help me.

I asked my dad
to come over for lunch

and I told him I wanna
talk about some stuff.

But he doesn't know
what it's about

and he probably
would never guess.

I'm nervous and I really
hope this goes well.

Because I don't wanna
hurt my dad's feelings.

But there's plenty
I need to get off my chest
if I'm gonna heal.

Gotta love my Jell-O.

[Rick chuckles]
All right.

Did you wanna get
a smell of this?

-I could smell it from here.
-[Rick laughing]

Don't eat it too fast,
it might give you indigestion.

Yummy, yummy, yummy.

So, you know, the other day
I had a therapist appointment
with Dr. Paradise.

Uh-huh.

And we talked about
some stuff, you know,
from my childhood,

you know I had some
bad things happen,
but who doesn't?

And part of my homework
was he wanted me to
talk to you about it.

And part of my homework
was he wanted me to
talk to you about it.

See how you felt about it.

Well, I'm sorry
that it happened.

I never would've imagined
that happening.

You know, when you
go through some
traumatic stuff growing up,

it can affect your life.

I'm sure. I'm sure...

-...that it never
leaves your mind.
-No.

I'm sure of that.

And so, I think it's good that
I'm seeing Dr. Paradise now

so that I could start
working through those things.

so that I could start
working through those things.

And getting the help
that I need.

So that I don't fall back
into the old traps of
self-medicating with food.

You know, I've lost
quite a bit of weight already.

And I've done very well
and I'm proud of myself.

And I don't wanna go back
to the way I was.

-And I'm proud of you as well.
-Thank you.

'Cause let's be honest, eating
that much and getting
myself to the size I was,

that's a form of self-harm,
you know.

[Rick] And you know
that never crossed my mind.

[Rick] And you know
that never crossed my mind.

You being...

-...addicted to food.
-Mm-hmm.

But I never saw
any of the signs

-of depression.
-Oh, I was good at hiding it.

I never did and I never...

You know,
I feel bad about that.

But I think talking about it,

-probably the best
medicine, really.
-Yes.

Because there's no
physical medicine you
could take to change anything.

Just talking about it
and getting it out in the air

Just talking about it
and getting it out in the air

and getting it off
of your shoulders,

that weight you're carrying
around, that depression.

It makes me think back now
that if I would've known...

...I could've done something.

[Wess] You know,
as far as the trauma goes,

we can't blame anybody
but the person that did that.

That person was old enough
to know the difference
between right and wrong.

And they chose to do wrong.

And the only person

in this world that
is responsible for what
happened to me

in this world that
is responsible for what
happened to me

is the person that did it.

Just know from me, Dad,

and I want you to know this
sincerely from me.

I don't hold you
responsible for any of that.

-I don't blame you
for any of that.
-I'm glad.

And I can say to myself
who has the real blame.

That's not you
and that's definitely not me.

That's the [bleep] that did it

and quite frankly, if that
[bleep] burned in hell
for the rest of eternity,

I'd be happy.

[Wess] Well,
that wasn't so bad.

I'm proud of myself
for doing this.

I feel like it was a good
first step for me and my dad

and our relationship together.

I just wanna heal
and I feel like I've started
that process today.

I know it's gonna be
a long process,

but at least I've started it.

And I'm hoping this puts me
on the road to get where
I need to go

for my next appointment
with Dr. Now.

[Wess] Just in
time for the rain.

Oh, yeah.

[breathing heavily]

-Wess.
-Okay. Let's go.

Hello.

-How are you?
-I'm good.

-How are you?
-I'm good.

-Hi, how're you doing?
-Morning.

[Wess] At my last
weigh-in two months ago,

I was 530 pounds.

I'm supposed to be losing
around 25 pounds
a month these days.

So that means if
I stay on track,

I'll be right at around
480 pounds today.

All right. Step on up.

[nurse] Hold it.

477.

Step off for me.

Sounds good.

-That's great.
-[Wess giggles]

[Wess] Oh my, oh my.
It feels good to be ahead
of the curve for once.

Usually, I'm a little nervous

but today, I'm excited
to hear what the doctor
has to say.

but today, I'm excited
to hear what the doctor
has to say.

Yeah.

[knocking]

Hello, how y'all doing?

-[Wess] Good. Hi, Dr. Now.
-[Rick] Hi, Doctor.

All right, good.
Well, Wess,
you're making good progress.

You're down to 477.

So, you lost 53 pounds
over the last two months.

So you picked up the pace
like you needed.

I see that therapy is helping
you to deal with your
emotional drive to eat

-and help to cope
with that, right?
-Yes.

[Dr. Now] All right,
so keep up the good work.

-I'm proud of your progress.
-Thank you.

-I'm proud of your progress.
-Thank you.

[Dr. Now] Just stick with
therapy and doing what you
need with them.

And if you stay on track,
we'll be able to remove
the lymphedema mass.

And then, any extra skin...

-Yes.
-...that needs to come off
and then we'll work on that.

-Yes.
-But in the meantime,

I want you to keep
working hard

and maybe in 12 months,
you're gonna hit
your goal weight.

-So, keep it up.
I'm proud of your progress.
-Thank you, sir. Thank you.

-And Dad is proud of
your progress, too.
-[Rick] Oh, yeah.

-Yeah, it's wonderful.
-All right.

Wess, I'll see you
in two months.

Wess, I'll see you
in two months.

Your weight loss
is doing good.

Keep it up and lose
another 50 pounds by
your next appointment.

And if you need anything
before then, give me a call.

-Yes, sir. Thank you.
-[Rick] Thank you.

-Okay.
-[Wess] Thank you
for everything.

-You're quite welcome.
-Have a good one.

You too.

[Dr. Now] I'm very
encouraged to see

that Wess has made some
improvements with his
monthly weight loss.

He's moving in
the right direction

He's moving in
the right direction

and I'm very proud of him
for working hard
to make that happen.

He still has a lot of work
ahead to get to his goal.

But Wess has consistently
shown me he's willing to
put the hard work he needs.

So right now, I'm confident
that he will stay on track
for the long term.

He may have some off months
here and there,
but that's okay.

This process is a struggle

and it's not about
being perfect.

It's about getting healthy
at the rate the body needs.

It's about getting healthy
at the rate the body needs.

And turning your life around
to have a bright future

to start looking forward to.

And Wess is doing that,
so I know he's gonna
stick with it

and keep working at what
he needs to get to his goal
over the next year

and have the life he wants.

And I'm very
proud of him for that.

[Wess] Well,
that feels really good.

And I'm proud of myself
for doing what I needed.

I don't even remember the last
time I was 400 pounds.

What I'm doing seems
to be working, so I'm just
gonna stick to it.

What I'm doing seems
to be working, so I'm just
gonna stick to it.

You know, it feels like
I've come so far

and yet it really is just
the beginning of what
is going to come next.

It's hard to believe that
I have as many choices
now as I do.

And that's something
that's going to be hard
to get used to.

Because it's such
a different mindset
than I've had in the past.

Believing in myself,

Believing in myself,

believing in my future.

It's going to take a minute
before I really feel like
I'm worth it.

All the way deep down.

Gotta fake it until I make it.

So I'll start by acting
like I'm worth it.

Why not?

And we'll see
where this path takes me.

-[receptionist] Hi.
-Hi.

-How're you doing? Thank you.
-Welcome to The Plaza.

[Wess] So,
I did something my dad liked

and now my dad has agreed
to do something I like.

-You wanna sit over there?
-Yeah.

[Wess] We're gonna go see
a play together today
and I'm excited.

I'm always nervous
going out in public.

But this is something I've
wanted to do for a long time
without being able to.

But this is something I've
wanted to do for a long time
without being able to.

[applauding]

So, now that
I'm actually doing it,

I'm actually super excited.

Being on stage is something
I have always wanted to do.

It might be the only thing
that I've ever
felt called to do.

Like, I have a calling for it.

And I never had
a chance to do it.

Today, just seeing these
individuals up here on stage.

It filled me with
a sense of longing

but also, it felt
like something attainable.

but also, it felt
like something attainable.

And so, I got really
kind of excited.

A little overwhelmed.

And a bit of anxiety.

But a more hopeful anxiety
than I'm used to.

I'm used to feeling
doom or dread

and this was more
like a possibility.

And that feeling, like,
this is a fear I know
I should overcome.

-Thank y'all so much.
-Thanks for coming.

[Wess] I've always
wanted to be on stage

but when I was 700 pounds
it was scary to think about
being up there.

-How's that?
-[Wess] Okay.

-Thank you. Bye-bye.
-[woman] Bye.
Thanks for coming.

[Wess] Now that I'm losing
the weight...

[in sing-song voice] Hello!

Thanks.

I wonder if there's a stage
that can hold me.