All language subtitles for Hot.Ones.S30E02.WEB.H264-DARK-CEsubs

Stay with me.

Talk to me. Keep talking to me.

Hey, what's going on, everybody? For
First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans, and

watching Hot Ones. It's the show with
hot questions and even hotter wings.

And today we're joined by Colin Jost.

He's an Emmy Award winning writer and
the longest tenured anchor in the

of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update.
And starting May 11th, he's hosting new

episodes of Pop Culture Jeopardy, which
you can watch every weekday on Netflix

through June 5th. Colin Jost, welcome to
the show. Thank you. Thank you. It's

great to hear all that information about
what I'm doing because I didn't really

know the dates.

Thank you for knowing. We got you
covered over here.

And I should mention that you probably
have more overlap with former Hot Ones

guests than anyone we've ever had on the
show. Did you receive any advice or

watch any tape in preparation for today?
No one wanted to help me.

Scarlett just said maybe take an
antacid.

Good advice.

It's probably good advice. I didn't, but
I probably could still do it. But I

just wanted to have a pure experience.

And you really mean it because you
requested no milk on the table. No.

you want a glass of hot sauce.

Is this tactical?

I wanted to, I think the phrase is fight
fire with fire.

Now, I have a lot of family members who
are firefighters.

Dave never said that phrase.

But I think I was like, you know what?
I'm not going to just go with milk. I'm

going to have a Bremen glass of actual
hot sauce, even though it looks like

tomato soup.

And you know what? I'm joining you at
the party. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers.

everyone here audibly is so grossed out.
What a way to start. That's hot wing

thought.

I'm probably going to regret that in
like two minutes.

I really, by the way, wanted to do, I
was going to pitch that you should do an

after show called Talkin' Toilets. Well,
we could maybe do a pilot with you

after this. Maybe we do that. I have
access to a couple bathrooms nearby.

It's like a little hot pepper that's
winking at you, and he's wearing a robe.

It's weird. No one's like, oh, I had a
bunch of hot sauce, maybe sex.

Well, there is even to like a little bit
of an innuendo in the title, you know,

like they're very on theme over here.

As someone who grew up on Jeopardy, what
did you see as the magic of Trebek as a

host? He seemed omniscient. And I think,
you know, when you start, when you mess

something up, like if you misread
something, you feel like you're shaming.

alex trebek but then the production team
was like he would he would occasionally

mess up clues and then he would just he
wouldn't even re -record them he'd be

like nah it's fine just keep it so i
think you just have the confidence he

the confidence of having done it and it
is the alex trebek stage for a reason

like he really he earned it so at first
it's kind of like starting at snl like

when i was starting especially week and
update your first instinct is oh my god

i don't want to destroy this institution
and then you get a little past the

existential

angst of it and you try to figure out
how you can make it your own a little

do you have in your mind like have you
been

assembling kind of like your top five to
ten sauces of all time and do you have

those in like a row At your house that
you're always, like, putting new ones in

that you particularly love? I think
about that every once in a while. Like,

the years, there have been definitely
sauces that hit in kind of like a

in a Mount Rushmore of hot one sauces.
And maybe someday we'll do, like, an all

-star hot sauce lineup on this show.

The wheels are turning through every
wing over here with you, Colin. I mean,

come on. I'm already giving you talking
toilets.

For a small, small, large fee.

So I've interviewed Pete Davidson twice
on this show, despite his severe stomach

issues. And my view of Staten Island has
largely been colored by what he's told

me about it. Are there any foundational
differences between your Staten Island

and Pete's?

Yes.

I mean, he is more like South Shore and
I'm more North Shore, which is

like kind of a little bit of a historic
difference.

In a way, I feel like no one believes
that I'm from Staten Island or they

see it in me.

Like they believe Pete is from Staten
Island. Story checks out. And they love

Pete on Staten Island. And I feel like
I'm always kind of like, I'm from there

too. I swear.

Do you have a proudest journalistic
achievement from your time working at

regional newspaper, the Staten Island
Advance?

I have a lot of great memories. And I
got to say that people who work there,

like even compared to journalists at...

their most prestigious newspapers now, I
feel like they were really good

journalists. And the editors there, the
news editors really trained me to be

really on top of facts, double check
everything.

And they were really, they were, and
they also challenged you. I remember

putting a thing in like an article where
I said, you know, there was a welcome

mat on the door.

I was trying to get someone to interview
for something.

There had been a shooting, and they
weren't responding. And I was like,

was a welcome mat on the door, but I
didn't feel very welcome at the house.

And my editor was like, the hell?

My editor was like, you know what else
has a welcome mat? Every other door.

He's like, this is not interesting
information. I thought I'd come up with

great line.

So they challenge you in good ways. But
my favorite article...

that I got to do when I was a reporter
at the advance was I worked at late

shifts. I worked 11 p .m. to 8 a .m.,
and I was there overnight, and there was

car crash that I was sent to report on
in Staten Island. And I got there, and

everyone was okay in the crash, luckily,
but one of the cars had hit a raccoon.

And so the paramedics were already
there, so they performed CPR on the

and saved the raccoon's life. Wow.

which was pretty exciting. So I'm
writing this article, and then the EMTs

rescued him called me at the newspaper
and were like, you can't believe how

messed up it is.

Animal control. We gave him over to
animal control, and they euthanized him.

So they had just saved this raccoon's
life, and then he was put down. So then

ultimately became front page news.

It's a developing, breaking news.

Yeah, and I had like a byline.

on the front page for my raccoon story,
and then it got into, like, what are the

rules? Can you, you know, should you be
reporting these raccoons, or are they

going to be all euthanized?

And I really broke open the whole
euthanizing community.

And a hot ones brand, so respect.

And delicious, too. And delicious, as
well. Which camera do I look into?

So you've been punched in at least four
SNL skits to date. What stands out as

your most memorable physical battery on
live television?

My favorite getting punched on camera
was when Leslie Jones

was punching me and then Lorne in the
pre -tape says, get out

of my way, I'll finish him off.

And then Lauren starts punching me.
Like, I don't know if Lauren's ever

another cast member on TV. I can't
imagine he has. And he's, like, going

And everyone's laughing.

Everyone's having a great time.

And it obviously plays as a joke. And
I'm like, it's pretty nuts that my boss

punching me and everyone's just cheering
him on.

And I guess that's just where I'm at in
my life. That's my place on the show.

What's a 10 to 1 sketch?

And can you give me an example of one
that typifies that Jack Handy slot?

I feel like the quintessential kind of
10 to 1. And I remember there was a Jack

Handy one. I forget if it aired or not,
where someone is in a wheelchair and

there's wires hooked up to the
wheelchair.

And they're in the sketch and they're
like, man, if only someday I could fly.

And they keep saying it throughout the
sketch, but then they never do.

And the audience can see the wires and
you're kind of waiting for something to

happen the whole time.

And it just never does. I think it was a
jack candy. And to me, that's like the

perfect thing at the end, because it's
not so early that the audience is going

to be furious.

Like Lorne often preserved that spot.

Sometimes it can be all or nothing. You
sometimes lose one of the funny

sketches.

Grabbing.

Just prepping.

I accidentally took like a big step
right there because I had kind of a milk

muscle memory and really just gulped
that Franks right there. That's where

experience hurts you.

You know what I'm saying?

10 ,000 hours back right there.

Do you think then there's like another
10 ,000 hours where you're really good

it and then like then there's a 10 ,000
hours where you've fallen off?

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Is it
like after the second 10 ,000 where you

start losing it?

Well, you know, you've been doing...
Someone answer me!

You've been doing Saturday Night Live
for 20 years. You know, I've had this

thing going for 11. Like, we're probably
approaching that third act of like 20

,000, 30 ,000 hours. Yeah, I could get
really bad really fast.

Well, keep an eye out.

Thanks. And everyone write in if you see
I'm getting bad.

Please.

Smash that subscribe button.

What's the most harrowing experience you
had covering the Olympics?

Well, definitely bobsledding. I thought
the surfing was harrowing. Surfing, by

the way, I was, so I got, I got like my
foot scraped up on coral reef in Tahiti.

And I just didn't really do what you
would call treating the wound.

And instead I was still continuing to
report barefoot in sand and dirt.

Raw dogging it. Raw dogging it. Which is
technically not a great medical thing.

And so I was in the tent more than any
other Olympic athlete, like the medical

tent. And while I was in the medical
tent, a woman who was surfing from

Joanne Duret, I think is her name, she
hit her head on the reef, got cut,

her head, got taken in on a jet ski,
sewn up, taken back out on a jet ski,

won the heat while I was there. Just in
my toes.

Like, how awesome is that? And then she
won the bronze medal. Like, she won the

bronze medal, overcome it, and I was
just like, and I barely, I had to go

I see five peppers on here.

I feel like I also, as I get older, I
kind of like getting into the joints a

little bit more.

Getting into the gristle. I feel like it
captures a little more of the sauce in

it, and I like that it crisps the sauce
a little bit.

Connecting to the food a little bit
more. It's more of an immersive dining

experience, yeah.

It sounds like kind of the sign of a
serial killer.

I like to get into the gristle. I like
to get into the joint.

Which was more fun, co -hosting the 70th
Primetime Emmy Awards with Michael Che

or tag -teaming WrestleMania together?
Do you have a more profound memory of

versus the other?

WrestleMania was one of the best
experiences of my life. That was so fun.

the fact that we got to do it together.

It's hitting me a little bit now.

I didn't need to get into that joint as
much. Get into the joint. That's what

happens. Well, joint meet in 19.

The Giants had just traded Odell
Beckham. Yeah, you were in the Browns

Yeah, to the Browns. And so I came out
with a fresh Odell Beckham Browns

And everyone, all the Giants fans were
like literally throwing things at me. It

was awesome.

And there were.

There were WWE villains backstage
waiting to go on after me, and they saw

that shirt, and they were like, are you
really going out in that?

Which is kind of cool. And then I came
in second place. You know what I mean?

Not everyone looks back on all the
results, but in the full 26 -man

I came in silver medal, which they don't
give out.

But Braun Strowman was the only one who
could defeat me in battle.

It was also the most, like, after that
where I was walking down the street and

just, like, any hot dog vendor was like,
hey, Colin!

Like, that was the first time they'd
ever seen me do anything.

So now we're going to the bad ones.

Do you still remember your actual
hottest one?

The hottest that ever hit you? Yeah, and
you know what? It actually has remained

on the show. We're so lucky. Here we go.
It's remained on the show.

Oh, I didn't know if you would just
change it out, new one. We always do. So

do that like three times a year, except
for this one sauce that always hits

here, Da Bomb. That is, I've never had a
sauce like that in my life. Yeah. And I

practice.

I mean, Scarlett brought it home after
she did hot ones with you, and just

smelling it clears out your whole
nervous system. It's enough to make you

of evil. Yeah.

I don't know what it is, like the
vinegar or something in it also. It's

like, oh.

Which TV or film idea from before you
worked at Saturday Night Live do you

had the most potential if someone gave
it a shot?

Like, do you think Admissions Impossible
has legs?

I think that could be good. Yeah, good
research.

Simon Rich and I, when we were in
college, we had the idea of Admissions

Impossible.

where we pretended to be from a
university like Harvard or whatever and

aspiring students to do their
interviews.

Kind of messing with them, knowing they
would probably say anything to get to

try to get into the school.

It's a really rough time to exploit a
kid.

But I bet you get some really good. I
mean, it would destroy their life.

You'd have them say some horrible thing
and then you'd be like, oh, no. But at

the time we were almost that age. So we
were like, oh, we don't care. We'll

destroy everyone.

Oh, look, a dragon with breathing fire.

When you're doing a mix of wings, it's
always nice to have one that has a

bit of that candied texture to it, just
for variety.

We think about everything over here.

Whenever you're eating ten wings of
different kind.

How would you describe the Harvard
Lampoon for someone who's never heard of

Crying a little. Oh, yeah, it touched my
eye. Yeah, be careful.

That's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, no, no,
I know. I'm a pro.

I'm a pro.

Still getting an audible groan from
everyone watching this.

Ooh, that didn't help. It doesn't help.

Not a fire. I don't know if fighting
fire with fire works. Maybe never.

To be honest. I don't know.

Yeah, how did that become popular?

I don't know. We've got to look that up.

The funniest, nerdiest person in your
school, right, like writer, if you got

of those together when they all went to
college. So they also gained confidence

from that, and they also enjoyed
partying together as nerds. You know

mean? Like where you feel like a nerd
liberation.

I would say nerd liberation. Nerd
liberation.

Do you have a favorite architectural
feature of the castle?

Trying to sweat it out of me?

What I love about the general building
is, that it was designed by this

incredible architect, Edmund March
Wheelwright, who was in The Lampoon, and

became the city architect for all of
Boston. He was a very accomplished

architect. And this was the last
building he designed before he was

a mental hospital down the road.

So it really was his last sort of
through everything out there before they

wheeled him away. It kind of looks like
that. It does kind of look like that,

yeah. An architect descending into
madness a little bit. Yeah, I think so.

I don't know, kind of an iconic thing
about it that it's still cool is the

pipes that heat the building.

They release steam on the sides of sort
of the face of the building. So it looks

like it's blowing steam out of its ears,
which is just, you know, that's kind of

a cool feature to put in there.

And I think he also designed it where it
basically like steals steam from the

university, which is just an added
little nice. Crazy like a fox, you know.

know what?

And also just regular crazy.

You didn't need to add beyond insanity.

This is a little bit like a showdown.
Not intentional, but it's a showdown

because you're both checking in on each
other like, how are you doing? Yeah, I

agree with you. It looks like we're
staring each other like...

Take that.

How do you like that? But in actuality,
we're just like, are you okay?

Are you okay? That's exactly, yeah.

It's an empathetic energy that I'm
trying to give off right now.

It hits.

Yeah, and this is the real first time in
the show I went to go reach for the

milk and realize there is no way. You're
on an island. Oh, my God.

Now, do you think? Oh, God.

I was going to say, do you think at this
point?

This is helpful, but no. No, turns out
it's not.

That's where I thought maybe late in the
game, late in the game, I'd be like,

oh, that's now mellow.

No, not at all. Adding to it.

Again, it's like playing a larger fire
with a smaller fire.

It's just creating a bigger fire.

If you were locked in a Margaritaville
restaurant for a full day, what would

order for breakfast, what would you
order for lunch, and what would you

for dinner? Can you give us a veteran's
guide to conquering the ville?

Yeah, there's sort of omelet ones that I
would do. I feel like there's a eggs

over Margaritaville vibe, where it truly
is like an omelet, but they'll also

pour a little margarita onto it.

It'll come with a little...

A Coronito, like a little one of those
beers.

A little kind of Andre Chaser, yeah.
Yeah. They'll be like, it's breakfast,

you got this little beer, so it's
Margaritaville.

How much does it look like it hurts?

You know what? You're a stoic man.

Okay. All right? And I think that that's
being stress tested right now, but not

broken. The seams are not busting.

You still have that. I mean, I feel like
it's eyes first for us.

There's an intensity in the stare.

And that's, I think, where the heat, the
spice of this gauntlet is living right

now. But we're keeping it right there.
It's sort of the same stare that an EMT

has with someone on a journey where
they're like, stay with me.

Just stay with me. Talk to me. I don't
see anything else in this room but you.

No, no.

And I barely see you. It's all blurry.

What makes spicy seafood linguine the
proper litmus test for an Italian

restaurant? Like, why is that a
barometer for overall quality?

Great question. I feel like there was a
question before this that I didn't

totally answer, but that's okay.

It's my favorite dish, if it's done
well, is a fra diablo, like seafood,

linguine, especially like a shrimp. But
ideally, I think you get, I want to see

how they do spice.

You know, I want to see how they do,
like, you get a sense of how they'll

their pasta. Is it a good al dente?
You'll get a plethora of a harvest of

seafood.

And you just, you know, I feel like you
get a vibe of everything. And I think

the presentation tells you how invested
in this dish they are.

And you can get, you know, very
disappointing versions of it. But when

good version, you're like, I will come
back here.

You never have to blow your nose at all,
huh?

It's not a competition.

I know.

I think that is my spice reaction. Even
like a milder spice, I do have. But not

really for you, huh?

No, I guess. I haven't really noticed
that, but no, you're right. I don't

I get that loose.

I don't think I get that loose in the
sinuses.

You got a tight sinus, huh?

Wow. That's what Shishito said.

It's got to come out somewhere. Your
feet? I don't know. Your shoes are

wet right now.

Now, not fun, this one, but I find that
after Dabama kind of, like, scorches the

earth in a way that makes... This also
has got some, like, chunky flakes on it.

We should also...

Keep in mind that we've eaten now nine
wings and done quite a few hot sauce

chasers behind it, you know? Yeah, so
just on a volume level.

We've definitely confused our body.
We're competing with a lot over here.

absolutely.

Yeah.

My body's definitely not like, oh, I'm
glad this is the first thing you eat.

What's the sickest trophy that you ever
won at a speech and debate competition

while at Regis High School?

Like, do you have a most satisfying
Lincoln Douglas -style whoopin' in your

career?

Thank you for asking, because my speech
and debate trophies have never been

inquired about before, and I have never
gotten the respect I deserve.

It's so sad when you go home and you
have all these trophies. Are they still

a shelf at your parents' house? No.

When I brought a girlfriend home from
college to my room and seeing her eyes

kind of light up when she saw trophies,
And then opposite of light up when she

saw what they were for, when she was
like, oh, these must be baseball. But

is it just an angel holding a little
book?

One year, I just tried to qualify for
like national in extemporaneous

And I qualified out of New York, which
was really hard to do. And my friends

did it regularly were like so angry at
me. And which was fun because they would

sometimes come over and they would be
like, I'll just try like.

doing a dramatic or a humorous
performance, and so it was fun to go the

way and be like, oh, look at that.

You sons of bitches.

That was satisfying.

Let it go. Nothing there, huh?

I can give it a try if you'd like me to.

You know, nothing there. Nothing there.
Dry as a bone.

Okay, what do I do? Dip this?

Everyone here is like, this show ended
40 minutes ago. I hate the fucking

Okay.

Oh.

I hate you feel that dead heat. Mm -hmm.

You know what I mean?

I know what you mean all too well.

It's like seeing a person that you know
is later coming to assassinate you.

Exactly, because you know what it's
going to grow into.

And it started that process right now.

But the good news is, Colin Jost, the
wings of death are behind us. And to

things out...

On a recent episode of Amy Poehler's
podcast, Good Hang, she talked about a

that SNL cast members would play called
Do It or Die, where someone calls out a

celebrity impression. You have 10
seconds to do it. Otherwise, you die.

Since we're on the brink of death
ourselves, I think now is as good a time

any. Can you do a Lorne Michaels?

Oh, I don't know. I probably can.

Can you do a Michael J?

Can you do Mikey Day doing an impression
of me?

Is he cake?

And with that, Colin Jones, look at you
taking on the wings of death, living to

tell the tale.

And now there's nothing left to do but
roll out the red carpet for you. This

camera, this camera, this camera. Let
the people know what you have going on

your life.

Colin Jost, late teens, early 30s.

I've got Pop Culture Jeopardy that's
coming out May 11th. And I've got The

Breadwinner with Nate Bergetzi, which
I'm very excited about.

Cheers. This is really... It's been a
good one.

And on that note... I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

My body is starting to a little bit,
like, trying to stop me.

I feel, like, inflammation, like, in
different parts of my body. Yeah,

through a heavy air. My bones are
shutting down right now.

Great job, my man. Absolute pleasure.

Glad to shake your hand right after
that.

All right, Hot Ones fans, you've seen
the gauntlet, you've heard about the

flavors, and now it's time to taste the
action.

Get your hands on the Season 30 Hot Ones
10 -pack delivered right to your door.

That's hotones .com, hotones .com,
hotones .com to get your hands on the

30 Hot Ones 10 -pack.

The last dab, you don't have to if you
don't want to, but do it. Be careful

around the eyes. Ice cream, not
included. And remember, fortune flavors

bold.