Original subtitles

(GUNSHOT)

Darling, listen to this. In the "It Had to Happen" department:

"During Die Walkure at the Sydney Opera House..."

During the what?

Die Valkyrie, you know, pum pum pa pum pum!

Just as Siegmund pulled out his father's sword and Sieglinde swooned,

the phone rang

in row G. A woman removed a cellular from her evening bag and handed it to her husband.

To the outrage of the neighboring Wagnerites, he took the call.

-(PHONE RINGING) -Speaking of which.

-Yes? -MAN: Your secretary, Mr. Hart.

It's Liz.

Ask her how Freeway is.

Hi, Liz. Yeah, great.

How is... Oh, he is. He does?

He wants to speak with you.

-Freeway! Hello, baby! I miss you! -(DOG BARKING)

You wouldn't have liked quarantine, though, I promise. (KISSES) I love you.

-(WHIMPERING) -Tell him you love him.

-I love you, Freeway. -(WHIMPERING)

So long, now. You be a good boy. Bye bye.

Ah, Liz. Anything else of major importance?

You rented the car for us. And you got a Jag. Wonderful.

All right, we'll talk to you tomorrow. Thank you very much. Bye.

Isn't this magnificent?

Yeah. And in living black and white. Wait till you clamp an eye on the real thing.

I realize that it is not your favorite thing to sit through six hours of Wagner.

So, have I thanked you enough for getting the opera tickets?

-Oh, yes! -Have I?

Are you sure?

Uh huh, and I never get tired of the way you show your appreciation.

How do I do that?

I feel really good about what we're doing.

-Going to the opera? -No, no! By buying the game reserve.

It's going to be very interesting to see Elliott Manning again.

After all these years.

Yeah, won't it.

Who would have ever guessed that he'd wind up owning

the world's largest private game reserve and that we'd be buying it.

We don't own it yet. Don't forget we've been working on this thing for over a month

and he insisted that we come down here. You know, he drives a hard bargain.

He always did have a mean streak.

Maybe that's why he offered me the deal.

He wants to punish me for taking you away from him.

You didn't take me away from him. You swept me off my feet.

And look where it got me.

JENNIFER: It really is magnificent.

JONATHAN: And in living color.

-(SCREAMING) Darling, darling! -What's the matter?

Just hug the white line.

You don't think I know how to drive on the wrong side of the road?

I didn't say that. It's just that you almost kissed that parked car back there.

All right, I'll hug instead of kiss.

Elliott must own this part of town. His name is everywhere.

Well, the rumor is that his empire is on shaky ground.

Really? Huh! Well, now that's more like the Elliott I once knew.

He tries to box your ears when he's on the defensive.

Maybe that's why he sent me a kangaroo for a wedding present.

So he could box my ears.

Well, if we get the game reserve, you can send him a whole flock of kangaroos

to box his.

A flock of kangaroos?

A passel? A passel of kangaroos? A gaggle!

JONATHAN: A gaggle of kangaroos.

-Hoard. -A hoard?

-Herd. -A herd.

A herd. A hoard.

Welcome to the InterContinental Sydney, Ma'am.

-JENNIFER: Thank you. -JONATHAN: Thanks.

Did you know this hotel used to be the Treasury Building?

Maybe we can get a loan.

G'day! My name's Johnny. Call me "Johnny on the Spot." I'll be serving you any way I can.

Well, my name's Johnny, too, but not on the spot. Not yet, anyway.

The hotel registration's just across the lobby. I'll take care of the rest of your bags.

Thanks, Johnny. Do I hit the spot?

Absolutely, Sir! Thank you very much, indeed.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Hart. I'm Lisa Brandt, PR director for Manning Enterprises.

-How do you do? -Miss Brant.

Lisa, please. Mr. Manning wants you to be his guests.

-Oh? -Well, it is his hotel. Thank you.

No, not at his hotel. At his house.

-At his house. -Oh, that's very kind, but I'm sure we'll be fine here.

Oh, don't get me into trouble with Mr. Manning.

He would never forgive me if I didn't bring you back.

-Darling? -Well, we wouldn't want to get you in trouble.

Johnny, put the Harts' luggage in my car, please.

-We have our own car. -Oh, good. Then why don't you just follow me?

Good shot!

Hi!

-Ah! -Uh huh!

There they are.

-Elliott! -Jennifer! Welcome!

-Nice to see you again. -You have no idea.

You guys look great! Jonathan.

Elliott. Good to see you. Thanks for putting us up here.

I don't want you out of my sight.

Tonga, I want you to meet my very old friends, the Harts.

-Mm-hm. -How do you do?

Mmm.

Among other things, Mr. Hart is a great competitor.

He beat me in the LA to Honolulu race 21 years ago.

You had the better boat. I was the better sailor.

Wait till you see the boat Elliott has now.

-Oh. -You have another boat now?

Yeah, for now.

Well, after you freshen up, we'll have lunch and go for a sail on the Cloud.

Great, but I thought we were going out to the reserve to go over some things

with Harry Jones.

You're too thorough, Jonathan.

Well, it's part of my nature.

First things first. I'll bet you a bottle of '82 Chateau Lafite

that you can't beat that shot.

You know, I'm not a betting man.

Oh, no.

And yet?

You'd better shoot straight, Johnny.

-JENNIFER: Bull's eye! -LISA: Look at that!

-JENNIFER: Yay! Oh, that's great! -I guess it's a tie.

I hope you didn't do that on purpose.

I'm flattered that you think I could.

We can't just leave it a draw.

-Come on, I'll show you your room. -Great.

Cheer up, big boy. The fun has just begun.

The game is just in motion, perfectly.

They're here, and he's flush with money.

Luck, as they say, is the residue of design.

Jonathan!

(LAUGHING)

We look so young. That race seems like a lifetime ago.

To me, it's like it was yesterday.

I never saw a gun like this this before.

It's called a Desert Eagle. It's the one I use when I need all the help I can get.

Careful, it's loaded.

I treat every gun like it's loaded.

So, Elliott, are you going to tell me that people are

waiting in line to buy the game reserve?

Oh, Jonathan. You know me better than that.

Why should I blow smoke? Nobody's standing in line to buy a game reserve.

But, as a real estate development, that's a different story.

So you're going to replace the animals with overpriced tract homes?

-It's called progress. -Not in my book, it's not.

It'd take you a couple of years to create a development like that.

You're not playing a game with me, are you?

The game reserve is not a game. It's a very expensive business proposition.

I can't afford a couple of years.

My people have gone through all the projections. You're asking an awful lot for it.

But maybe you think that overcharging is a way of winning.

Let me tell you something, Jonathan. I want a cashier's check by tomorrow morning.

No negotiation. That would assure you that those overpriced tract homes

you're so worried about wouldn't exist.

Well, that wasn't part of the deal, but you're famous for changing the rules.

I don't want to bore you, but my life down here is not all

"put another shrimp on the barbie."

And I don't want to bargain with you, so why don't we just cut through it all.

You know Jennifer's feeling about animals.

She's practically a one-woman crusade. She'd have my head on this wall, if she could.

You'll have a cashier's check in the morning.

Well, that was quicker and even more painless than even I expected.

I know how you like to win. Maybe you think this will even the score.

You know, you can only make just so many things in life happen.

You can't make love happen.

You either win or you lose, and that's that.

Congratulations, Jonathan.

Should we join the others?

Why doesn't Jonathan go out to the reserve after I show you the boat?

It'll only take about an hour.

And I'll drive you and Lisa out to the reserve tomorrow morning and we can stay

the night so you really get a feel for the place.

Oh, that's very kind, Elliott, but I think I'd rather go with Jonathan.

Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'm just going to be going over the books tonight

with Harry Jones. You can come out tomorrow when all the boring work is done.

Come on, Jennifer, why not?

-Are you sure? -Positive, really.

That's the ticket. Jonathan will just check and recheck all the numbers.

You know how thorough he is. Tonight you can get a rest, get over your jet lag

so you can stay awake at the opera.

All right. But let's get going bright and early in the morning.

Up with the birdies. But tonight, there's a great place out at the beach

owned by a real character. I'll book a table and we'll make it an early evening.

To togetherness.

-Togetherness. -Togetherness.

Oh! Can I see your watch? Don't you think you ought to call Lisa's office

and find out what's happened?

Why? She's not coming.

What do you mean?

It's just you and me, Jennifer. Just like the old days.

Wait a minute. Did I miss something?

Did you say something that I didn't understand

or did I say something you didn't understand?

No. If only you had. You know, the times we had in London are memories I can't shake.

That was years ago!

Yeah, well, I thought maybe you still might change your mind.

Elliott, read my lips. I'm married.

And very happily.

I've been married. Several times. Unhappily, unfortunately.

You know, the reason that I called Jonathan first about the game reserve is so

that I might see you again. I thought maybe we could pick up where we left off.

We left off, if that's the way you want to put it

easily six months before I even met Jonathan.

Well, he got lucky and beat me.

-It wasn't a competition. -Well, it is now.

Why don't we just finish our drink and go?

You're the only intoxicating thing in this bar that I want.

Elliott! The only time you ever hear something like that is on a soap opera!

-Jennifer, I don't watch TV. -Good evening! Mr. Manning.

Jennifer, may I present Bully. The most raffish restaurateur down under.

It's an Australian name for, how will I put it, a diamond in the rough.

But basically I'm just a harmless beachcomber.

-How do you do? -How do you do.

I heard the you and Mr. Hart were in town.

-Ah. -Yes, the Harts bought the game reserve.

I heard that, too, and I'm very pleased for you both, but mostly for the animals.

So, where is your husband this evening?

Well, unfortunately, he's at the reserve.

And Miss Brandt?

I think we need some dinner. Is my table ready?

Of course, Mr. Manning, I'll get the maitre d'. And may I suggest

that the Tasmanian oysters are particularly excellent this evening.

Elliott, I think I'd just like to go home and go to bed.

Oh, that's brilliant. I'd like that, too.

I mean I'm going to take a taxi.

Jennifer, you have changed. When I first knew you, you always liked a good time.

You know, Elliott, I don't think you ever knew me.

-Jennifer. -Elliott. Don't do that. Ah!

Are you all right?

I'm fine, thank you. Would you do me a favor? Would you mind calling a taxi for me?

Mrs. Hart, please. Allow me to take you home in my car.

Thank you, Bully. You know, sometimes a diamond in the rough is a girl's best friend.

There's such good news and such bad news about this place, Mr. Hart.

We can't let this drop. These animals need us.

This is a great habitat. The animals should be breeding well.

But they're not?

I didn't want to tell you this until I was absolutely sure.

But all I think the Manning reserves is the right to kill.

I think he hunts them.

Hunts them?

Yes, Mr. Hart.

Could you prove that?

Look. Look at how the number of each species diminishes over that past five years.

Let me see that.

There's no record of sale, there's no documentation as to the causes of death

they just disappear.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

-Hello. -Hello, this is Jennifer Hart. Is Jonathan there?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Hart. He's right here.

Hello, darling? Everything okay?

Now, darling, I don't want to upset you, but Elliott's up to his old tricks.

What happened?

Now, don't worry. I'm fine now.

Fine? Tell me what happened.

Well, he got a little out of line. But everything's all right now

and I'm here with Bully. Bully's driving me home.

-Bully? -Bully. Of Bully's Bar, Bistro and Bathhouse?

Where in the world is that?

Balmoral Beach.

So Bully is driving you home now because Elliott got out of line?

You better believe it.

Okay. I'm on my way back there now. And you tell Bully to keep an eye on you.

I'll do just that.

I gotta get back to Manning's, Harry. I'll call you tomorrow.

Mrs. Hart? If you or Mr. Hart ever need any assistance

don't hesitate to give old Bully a buzz.

Jennifer, I can't tell you how bad I feel about the way things have turned out.

Oh, now, Lisa. It's not your fault.

But if I hadn't gone out to the office, maybe I wouldn't have come back to such a mess.

Don't blame yourself.

He told me to get off the boat and stay off.

-He did? -Yeah.

What I really should do is leave and never come back. But I can't.

You love him very much, don't you?

Against my better judgment, trust me.

-Darling? -Hi, baby. Are you all right?

-I'm fine. -Where's Bully?

Bully's back at the bathhouse. Believe me, he does exist.

-And Elliott? -He's on the Cloud.

Don't go out there, darling.

If he's going to play games, he has to play by the rules. He's broken the rules.

I won't be long. And I want to talk to him about how he runs his game reserve.

Ah! I've been expecting you. What would you like?

I wouldn't mind an explanation.

Well, call it desperation. I don't have to tell you the story of my life.

Now, I know you've guessed that my back is against the wall.

Foreclosures, overdrafts.

Bankruptcy.

So I'm not the only one who suspected there was trouble in paradise?

I know. Word of mouth travels like cholera. But you're the only one who I'd admit it to.

Why do I have the privilege?

Because you are the only one who'd believe that the only thing I really wanted

in my life, and lost, is your wife.

Now, that's the explanation I was waiting for.

I heard that you came on strong with her tonight.

I tried. And I lost.

And I apologize.

What if I don't want to accept your apology?

Well, then, I take it back.

Do you know that when your stress increases, your intelligence decreases?

Stress, I'm talking about stress. Did you know that people who are expert shots

at target practice are often lousy when the target isn't inanimate,

when the adrenaline starts to pump. Anxiety and fear can make you miss your mark.

I'm not anxious, and I'm not fearful. I'm angry.

I'm angry about what you do with those animals.

Anger can make the adrenaline pump, too.

Our deal is off, so don't count on that check too fast.

And I want to look into some things a bit further. You know how thorough I am, Elliott.

Jonathan! How much has Jennifer told you about her and me?

Don't even go near that, Elliott.

No, no. How much do you know about us?

She never talked about you.

Oh. Do you like to dance with her? I always did.

I always liked the way she used to rub my back. Does she rub your back?

I mean, when you dance?

Leave it alone. She rubs my back just fine.

And, on the best nights, I remember how she used to scratch my back.

Do you want to take another shot? Go ahead.

Darling, are you hurt?

That's Manning's blood. Not mine.

Elliott's hurt?

Only his pride. If you want to want to pick him up, I'm sure you won't get any resistance.

-Shall we get out of here? -Yeah.

-Can you get the briefcase? -Yes.

I don't think he wants to see me.

I'm sorry, Lisa.

See, darling? The animals officially belong to him.

If he wants to hunt them all, there's not a thing we can do about it.

-Is that his right to do that? -Absolutely.

That's outrageous! That should be the biggest crime in the world.

Once the place belongs to us, it'll be a different story. But, in the meantime...

In the meantime I think we should call a TV station and have them do an expose on him.

-Good idea. -(DOORBELL RINGING)

(SIMULTANEOUSLY): Your turn.

I think it is my turn.

-Who is it? -It's me, Lisa.

-Lisa, come in. -Good morning.

You are just the person I want to see.

Are you aware of what Elliott is doing with his animals?

Jennifer, I'm not aware of anything he does. In fact, I don't even know where he is.

He didn't come back to the house last night and I'm getting scared.

-Good morning, Lisa. -Good morning.

What are you scared of?

-Elliott didn't come back to the house. -(DOORBELL RINGING)

Your turn!

We're very popular this morning.

-Mr. Hart. -Yes?

Detective Sergeant McNeil, Sydney police.

You were with Elliott Manning on board the Cloud last night?

Yes, I was.

I'd like to ask you a few questions.

-Come in. -Thank you.

He's got one, too. There's a few things I'd like to tell you about the way

Mr. Manning runs his reserve and takes care of the animals.

-My wife. -Miss Brandt.

I think I should tell you first that Mr. Manning's dead.

What? No.

Darling.

Blood was found on the deck of the ketch and there was a split railing.

Looks like he was knocked right through it.

Was it Manning's blood?

The lab's working on it.

Can we have a look at your hands, Mr. Hart?

The bruised one, of course.

How did you bruise that?

We were on board the Cloud last night. We were down in the state room.

Mr. Manning made an insulting remark about my wife. I hit him.

But when I left he was very much alive.

As a matter of fact, he was laughing at me through a split lip.

Yes, there was blood below, too.

We'd like to see what you were wearing last night, Mr. Hart.

How do you know that Elliott is actually dead?

We found what the sharks left of him.

And the shreds of his clothes match what he was last seen in.

The Cloud was moored at the jetty. Inside the shark nets.

It was anchored beyond the reef, in shark-infested waters.

And I'm telling you that's not where she was when I went aboard her.

-Was anyone with you? -No.

Did anyone else board the Cloud after you?

I wouldn't know about that. My wife and I came here to the hotel right after that.

Miss Brandt, you stayed at home last night?

That's right.

Your room faces the water. Did you see anyone, or hear any small craft, motors?

Well, I wasn't looking outside, but even if I was

I couldn't hear anything. No motors.

You slept soundly last night?

I didn't sleep at all. I waited for Elliott and he never came back.

JONATHAN: Detective.

Maybe he fell overboard.

Precisely, Mrs. Hart.

You fall over a railing, not through one. Especially not one that thick.

Mr. Hart, I must ask you to surrender your passport.

Oh, you can't be serious! Are you charging my husband with murder?

Let's just say we'd like it if he doesn't leave town.

Believe me, Mr. Hart, the view is a lot better from up here than it is from jail.

Miss Brandt, is there somewhere that you and I can go and talk privately?

We can go to my office.

Are you all right, Lisa?

I'm sorry, Jonathan. What I said is the truth.

You'll be hearing from us.

Take it down to the lab.

This is insane! Maybe we ought to call our lawyer.

Maybe we ought to call our banker and put a hold on our check.

Oh, darling. This trip hasn't turned out the way we hoped, has it?

No. Well, let's look on the bright side of things. We still have our opera tickets.

-Ah! -(PHONE RINGING)

I know that bad news travels fast, but this is ridiculous.

Hello.

ELLIOTT: Hello, Jonathan. Hey, how's the adrenaline pumping this morning?

It's him.

I think that maybe you're in a lot of trouble.

Hello, Elliott. You must be in a bit of trouble yourself.

Yeah, but I'm not going to prison for the rest of my life.

I don't intend to, either.

Listen, that money should be in the bank by now.

I want that cash before I get out of the country.

I'm not giving you a cent.

I can make this case stronger against you. More clues that you murdered me

in jealous revenge. But if I get my money...

Oh, if you get your money you'll probably send the police a snapshot of yourself

on the beach at Puerto Rico.

Don't laugh. Good idea, something like that would get you off.

Well, I can't wait to get your offer. I'd swap passports with you, but the police

have already taken mine.

You cash the check. I want big denominations. You put the money in a trash bag.

Put the trash bag in a receptacle bin next to the concession stand

on the ferry from Daws Point to Luna Park.

That might take a little time.

Take a little time. You be on the three o'clock ferry. No cops, huh?

Or something else from our past is going to turn up.

(DIAL TONE)

Sydney to Luna Park.

-Sydney ferry to Luna Park. -Oh, yeah.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Let's get this one together.

Mr. Hart, Mrs. Hart. I finally managed to get you a New York Times.

You know, I practically had to murder someone to get it?

Something I said?

No. It's just that now I'm "Johnny on the Spot."

-Is everything okay? -Yeah.

-Where's McNeil? -Right in front of you.

-What's McNeil doing now? -He's been looking at a map.

Any sign of Manning?

No, but I did see a panhandler who looked like he had a fake beard on.

There he goes!

Do you think there are enough of us?

It's a regular rugby team.

Oh, look. It's the opera house.

Isn't it beautiful?

It looks great from here. It's like we're in the 102nd balcony.

I don't think anyone we're interested in is going to go anywhere near that trash bin

until we put our trash in it.

Why don't you go up there and buy us a couple of cups of coffee

and I'll show the community that we're not litterbugs.

Good idea.

Two coffees, please.

Thank you.

Here you go. That ought to keep us awake for the opera.

Anyone see us?

Only the usual suspects.

Look at that man.

He's about Elliott's size, isn't he?

Does he look like the guy you saw at the bank?

No, absolutely not.

-You sure? -Positive.

Well, he's got a beard.

Why don't you go over there and pull it, and see if it's fake.

Why don't you?

Let's see what he does, first.

Hey! What's going on?

-It's not fake. -Who are you guys?

-Sydney Police. -Oh, police.

Hey! I think this might be a bomb!

What?

(SCREAMING)

Perfectly safe, no danger whatsoever. Get lost, mate.

Well, you've certainly caused enough trouble in your short stay here in Australia.

Is this some sort of game you're playing, or what?

I'm not playing any game. I think it's Mr. Manning that's playing the game.

I didn't know he wasn't going to show up or send anybody.

Mr. Hart, I have only your word that he called.

You have mine, too.

Well, I only have your husband's word that he punched Manning on board the Cloud.

Mr. Hart, you're not only a suspect, you're the only suspect.

Really?

Well, what about his man Tonga? Or his first mate, or his fourth mate, Miss Brandt?

We've checked.

Well, I think if you check on Mr. Manning's business dealings, his holdings,

his investments, you might find that he...

That Manning's empire was about to collapse?

We've had our suspicions about his business dealings for some time now.

What have you got?

Oh, Mr. Hart, I'm just a local bloke. The Australian federal police have had a

team on this for over a year, but they don't tell us anything.

Oh, come on now, Detective Sergeant McNeil. You must have had your unofficial ear

to the ground.

Well, I suppose.

Well, among other things, he has gambled his employees'

pension plan and lost.

Oh! Well!

Doesn't that mean that there are other people who would like to see him dead?

That someone might want to get him for what he's done to his animals.

Look, Mr. and Mrs. Hart. I think you've been reading far too many detective novels.

I suggest you leave this to the authorities to handle this case.

Have any more questions?

Yes, I do. You only picked up a cashier's check from the bank.

What's in the package?

I shredded The Thin Man.

Excuse me for a moment.

Want to keep a lookout?

-Keep a lookout! -Yeah.

We're in a goldfish bowl! Everyone can see us!

Well, if McNeil gets in your eye line, send up a flare, huh?

What are you doing?

Darling, what are you doing?

I'm doing what Claudette Colbert did in It Happened One Night.

You're attracting attention, not distracting.

Yes, but they're not looking at you, are they?

Right.

Harvey J. Lee, 7 Napier Street.

Did you find what you were looking for?

Yeah, I got it.

You can come down now, Claudette.

Here he comes.

Mrs. Hart, what are you doing?

Just killing flies.

My wife was killing flies and I was killing time.

Is there some sort of crime in that, or do I have to call my attorney again?

The results from the lab report. It was Manning's blood on the deck of the Cloud

and on your shirt, Mr. Hart.

Well, he deliberately smeared it on me. What about the body parts that you recovered?

Did you test those, too?

No, we haven't. It's not necessary. The evidence takes you where it tells you to go.

Where did it tell you to go?

But, if you had tested them

you might discover that those were not the remains of Elliott Manning.

Mr. Manning's remains were identified by his body guard from an old scar.

He's being buried this afternoon.

This afternoon? That's a little fast, isn't it?

That's how his lawyer said it had to be done.

Well, you'd better stop it.

Forgive me for saying so, Mr. Hart, but so should you.

Now, if you're finished protesting, and swatting flies...

I want you to dig up those body parts and have them tested.

I am not going to exhume a body or parts of a body on your word.

First of all, I would have to have a court order.

Then get it.

And what? Tell the magistrate that, on the word of the murder suspect

who made a fool of me on the ferry...

I want you to dig up those body parts, and I want you to have them tested.

Mr. Hart. Enough tests have been run and the results are conclusive.

Now, in half an hour, one of Australia's most prominent

citizens is being laid to rest. G'day.

G'day.

-JONATHAN: What an afternoon. -Yes.

A ferry ride, a fight with the police, a funeral, what next?

An Aboriginal hoedown?

-That might be fun. -Ah.

Father?

The Lord is my shepherd...

-Hello, Mrs. Hart. -Hello, Bully.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...

Such a sad and unexpected occasion.

Yes, and so fast.

Oh. This is my husband, Jonathan.

Darling, this is Bully, of Bully's Bar, Bistro...

-And Bathhouse. -That's right.

-How do you do? -How do you do?

-You have a charming wife. -Thank you.

And thank you for taking care of her last night.

But what happened to you?

Well, I was checking out the waterfront, which is what we beachcombers are apt to do.

PRIEST: My cup runneth over.

Tonga looks quite upset.

He looks like he wants to kill me.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

It's hard to believe that, just a few hours ago, you were wrestling with

Mr. Elliott Manning at the bar of my restaurant.

Yes, it's almost as if he's still with us.

Poor Lisa. If only she knew the truth.

Jennifer. Jonathan, thank you for being here.

Hmm!

Tonga. Tonga's just been great. He claimed the body or whatever and

made all the burial arrangements.

Well, Tonga seems like a very obliging fellow.

Oh, Jonathan. Perhaps you were wondering why Detective Sergeant McNeil

wanted to see me alone.

Well, I assumed that he wanted to ask you some personal questions.

Right. He thought I might be a suspect, too.

Believe me. No matter what anybody else says, I don't think you're guilty of murder.

If I'd been on that boat last night, Mr. Hart, you'd be in that coffin, not him.

Tonga.

You and I know who is not in the casket.

The question is, who is?

You know what the meaning of the word, "kangaroo," is?

What is it?

-That's right! -What's right?

-"What is it?" -What is what?

The meaning of the word, "kangaroo." Unless it's apocryphal.

-What is? -"What is it?"

-Wait a minute, who's on first? -What?

No, What's on second.

-What are you talking about? -It's the old Abbott and Costello routine, you know,

-Who's on first, What's on second, I don't know his... -Oh yeah.

Well, it's sort of like that.

What did the colonial say to the Aborigine when he first saw a kangaroo?

-What'd he say? -"What is it?"

Hm, and what did the aborigine say?

Well, he couldn't say anything. He didn't understand the man.

So he asked a translator what the white man had said.

And the translator said, "kangaroo," which in aboriginal means,

BOTH: "what is it." (LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGING)

-You answer it. -No, no, you answer it.

Nah, you answer it.

He's gonna want to talk to you.

-How do you know it's him? -I know. I know.

-Hello? -ELLIOTT: You used to be better than that, Jonathan.

You were right.

I thought you were always so thorough.

It was obvious that the ferry was crawling with cops.

-I want my money. -Sounds like your adrenaline is pumping a bit now.

You're not gonna get a cent. And you're gonna go to prison. And Manning,

no matter what anyone else believes, I know you're alive, and I'm gonna get you.

Ready?

Well done.

They're no good to us. Hart's not gonna give us the money.

The game's not over yet.

I want you to check the hotel safe and their suite.

Harry Jones said they're going to the opera tonight.

-Yeah, yeah I gotcha. -Oh, and while you're at it, I want you to do something

about that cop who's been following me.

Yeah, get him off your back.

ELLIOTT: But the last thing I do, I gotta get Jonathan Hart out of my life.

-Good evening. -Good evening. Thank you.

Would you like your car in the VIP valet lot, sir?

-Uh, no, it's rented. -The tux?

No, the car. Just put it in the lot with the peasant shacks.

-Certainly. -Thank you.

I can't believe we're actually here. (LAUGHING)

JONATHAN: It doesn't look as good as it did from the ferry.

JENNIFER: Oh, come on. You're gonna love every minute of this. I promise.

JENNIFER: And so will I. (LAUGHING)

JONATHAN: Don't count your kangaroos.

JENNIFER: Ah...

Door 12. Straight ahead to the right.

Here, darling.

-Side door to the left. -What?

-We're not going to the opera. -We're not?

Not tonight, darling, but I promise you I'll bring you back when we get things

cleared up.

-Where are we going? -To find Harvey J. Lee of the Australian Federal Police.

Oh, you'll do anything to get our of Wagner.

There was a rover following us, I saw them in the rear-view mirror.

Do you think it was Elliott?

I think it was Tonga, that's why we're gonna give him the slip.

Let him think we're in here for six hours.

-Oh, four. -Four?

-Four and a half. -Mm-hm?

Okay, five.

(CHUCKLING)

(GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLING)

That'll take care of Hart.

-Miss, we're leaving. -Leaving?

It's in German. They don't tell you that, do they?

-I don't see the rover, I guess we dusted Tonga. -Seven.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(KNOCKING)

Why don't we leave a note?

-Good idea Mrs. H. -I have a pen, do you have paper?

-Yup. -Oh, darling!

Well, at least they're good for something.

Pretty expensive notepaper.

You looking for Harvey Lee?

-Yes, we are. -You're part of the band?

The band?

Yeah, the dance band he plays in at weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

Oh, you're saying that because we are in our band clothes?

Yeah, I guess he dresses for gigs.

I mean, judging from the amount of times his tux has come back from the cleaners.

-Are you the singer? -Yes, I sing.

Showers mainly. No weddings or Bar Mitzvahs.

(LAUGHING) I thought you blokes were on the road?

Why, when was the last time you saw Harvey?

Oh, I've never met Harvey.

-Never? -No, no. Number nine told me he was a musician.

I'll tell you what, he must come home at all hours or sleep all day.

Ah, maybe Harvey's been moonlighting

and hasn't told us about it. Um, we'll leave him a note.

-Oh, suit yourself. Goodnight. -Goodnight.

You know...

-Yes? -I used to love that program.

Moonlighting.

What ever happened to that bloke? You never see him on television anymore.

Another career up in smoke?

Well, some careers die hard.

Darling, what are you doing?

If you can make like Claudette Colbert, I can make like Errol Flynn.

Be careful.

(STRAINING)

Darling.

-How'd you do that? -With the key.

-Where'd you find the key? -Under the flowerpot.

-How'd you know it was under the flowerpot? -Isn't it always?

(SIGHS)

Ew. Mr. Harvey Lee is not going to win the Good Housekeeping award.

What do you wanna bet that Harvey was moonlighting on the Cloud last night.

-You mean you think... -I think Mr. Lee went to sea.

Modest supply of tuxedos, huh?

Look at the date on these. 14th...

16th, 18th...

-BOTH: 20th. -22nd, 24th.

The man next door thinks the cleaners brings back the same tux every two days.

But someone who knows that the key is under the flowerpot

delivers another one each time.

Because no tux ever actually leaves this place in the first place.

Exactly. Because the tux is an excuse for someone

posing as the cleaners to come by and stop in.

-Uh huh. -But why?

Maybe the answer is in the answering machine.

(REWINDING TAPE)

ELLIOTT: Mr. Lee, I know who you are and who you work for,

and why you're interested in me.

-That's Elliott! -I'd like to have a little talk, face to face.

I'm sure you have my private cellular number

along with all the other personal data on me.

Call, and let's meet.

-(BEEP) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Thursday, 9 pm.

9 pm?

That's about the time you called me from Bully's car, wasn't it?

Yes. Maybe Elliott was calling from his car after he left the restaurant.

Maybe Harvey answered his call, and Elliott brought him out to the boat.

So maybe it was Harvey J. Lee who went through he rail.

And who was buried this afternoon.

Come on, see if we can find a place that's still open where we can buy some picks

-and shovels. -Wait, wait, wait.

-You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do? -Well, if McNeil's not going

to dig up the body, or what's left of it, and check out the DNA,

we'll do it ourselves.

That's what I thought you were gonna do. Ugh.

Here you go, mate. Thank you very much.

Pop the trunk, will you, darling?

(BEEPING)

Of course, the guy wouldn't sell me city equipment,

but you what he had the nerve to charge me for his own stuff?

Please don't say an arm and a leg.

-No, a bloody fortune. -How did you explain why you needed the pick and shovel?

I told him that we were going to dig up a body.

He thought that was very, very funny. (JENNIFER SIGHS)

(OWL HOOTING)

Looks like a backhoe over here.

How you gonna start it?

(BACKHOE ENGINE STARTING)

-How'd you do that? -Well, I grew up on a farm in Maryland.

Well, bring it in here.

Hold it, hold it! Perfect.

Bring it down a little bit.

(BEEPING)

Perfect!

-Hello. -Pay dirt?

We'll see.

Uh, Jonathan?

I don't feel very good about this.

Well, you don't have to look if you don't want to.

I didn't mean I didn't want to look, I just meant...

-It feels creepy. -Well, don't look.

I think it's better if you don't look.

Alright, I won't look.

-Promise? -I promise. I promise I won't look.

Oh...

Well, what do you know? Look at this.

-You just said, "Don't look!" -No, no, look, now.

What is that, a body bag?

A body bag...full of rocks.

-Rocks? -ELLIOTT: That's right, rocks.

-I knew I'd find you two here. -Well,

if it isn't the heavy breather.

-Elliott. -Hello, Jennifer.

Well, Jonathan, now that you've dug your own grave, and your wife's,

the least you could do is help her down. Get down there, get down there.

Where's the cashier's check?

I know you went to the bank this afternoon.

-Who went overboard, Elliott? -Oh, um...

An unfortunate crewman.

-Named Harvey J. Lee? -No, no, his name was...

(SNAPPING) George Spellman.

Well what happened to what was left of him?

What was left of him was cremated.

I, uh, I didn't want any more tests done.

So, I have a friend who has a friend who knows the undertaker,

and Tonga took care of the rest, and...

-And you took care of both of them? -Handsomely.

I still have a little spending change left.

So, Jonathan, give me the check.

-What makes you think I have it with me? -Well, I know you didn't put

it in your hotel room. And you didn't put it in the hotel safe.

Remember, I own the hotel. (LAUGHING)

Tonga checked, and so you must have it on you.

Now give me the check.

It's in my jacket.

(BEEPING)

Okay.

(BEEPING)

Come on, come on.

Good, thank you. Now that I've got the check,

and I've got you...

Jonathan, you're a money conscious man,

think of how much you're gonna save on your burial costs, huh?

He's gone.

BULLY: Hot time in the old town tonight.

(GROANING) Thank you, Bully.

You should have been here earlier. We could've used you instead of the backhoe.

My car is just over here. It wouldn't hurt to hurry.

A bit late in the evening for explanations, don't you think?

I'll flip you to see who takes it back to the rental company.

-How was your shower? -Oh, it was great, thank you.

-I made you some breakfast, please sit down. -Oh, it looks delicious.

-Thank you. -Mr. Hart, so you're happy to be in one piece?

-Very happy. -Unlike some other people we could mention.

You're referring to Mr. Manning's crewman who went overboard?

How did you know about that?

Well I got to the cemetery in time to here Mr. Manning tell you what happened.

-You saw Manning? -For a moment.

Fortunately, I was behind the mausoleum when your rental car blew up.

And Mr. Manning, well, he got away under a rather large cloud of black smoke.

Not unlike a magician.

Yes, he's full of tricks.

-Cappuccino? -Please.

Have a croissant while they're hot.

Bully, how did you happen to be in the cemetery in the middle of the night?

Well, I was following Tonga, and Tonga was following you.

He thought you gave him the slip at the opera.

He must've planted the bomb beneath your car and then disappeared on his own.

-And you? -Well, I followed you to the house of one Harvey J. Lee.

Lee is an agent for the AFP.

He's been investigating Manning.

He has an empty apartment with only tuxedos and an answering machine in it.

He pretends he plays in a band

for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

We think he was the one who went through the rail on Manning's boat

and was buried in his place. This is delicious!

Well, it's all in the way you steam the milk.

Really? The milk.

What's your interest in all of this?

Well, Mr. Manning owes me a great deal of money.

Gambling debts. And since he's alive and out there,

I want it back, simple as that.

You better tell the police you saw him too.

-They won't believe me. -Well, I don't think that going to the police is going

to get the money for me.

Besides, look what it did for you.

What do you suggest?

Well, I need your help to get Elliott Manning.

You're the only ones that he's shown himself to.

He needed our money to skip the country.

I gave him the cashier's check at the cemetery.

There's no telling where he is.

-I don't think so. -Really?

-Why? -Because I have what's left of your check.

The blast from the explosion must have knocked it out of his hands.

-Then, he still needs our money. -Besides, for whatever reason,

Mr. Manning has a special animosity and fascination for you.

Oh, he'll come after you. But this time, not just for the money,

but to kill you. Mango?

21 years ago, I beat him in a race from Los Angeles to Hawaii.

And he has a certain obsession with my wife.

He thinks she should have married him instead of me.

Aside from the race, there was never any contest.

So you have a long history of competitiveness?

In sports and business affairs.

And in affairs of the heart, so to speak.

No, it goes way beyond that. It's a power play with him, a game

in which so far, he hasn't scored any points.

But he's determined to.

Finish up your breakfasts. I'm sure that the police will be eager to speak to you.

I'm sure they've traced the car to us, and they've got our prints all over the

backhoe and the tools.

Mr. Hart, we may be able to help each other.

You need him to clear your name, and

I need him to cleat the slate. I need you.

And vice-versa. So why don't we join forces?

-Darling? -Sounds good to me.

Well, Bully, it looks like we're in this thing together.

(LAUGHING)

It's gonna be a bright and sunny day.

And you're gonna need some sunglasses. I'll get you some from the souvenir shop.

You think the cappuccinos are good, you're gonna love these.

Ah.

You were right. McNeil must be inside looking for us.

Here's my card with a number to call

if you ever need my help, hm?

Alright, partner, we'll keep in touch.

-Bye. -Put on your glasses.

-Maybe no one will recognize us. -Oh, good idea.

Mr. and Mrs. Hart?

You've let it go too far with him.

I never meant to, Bully, honestly.

I thought you were smarter than that. You knew what kind of man Manning was.

What did you think? That you were going to be the one to change him?

-I guess that must be it. -Lisa, I just don't want to see you get hurt.

I know. You're a good friend, and I appreciate your concern for me.

Then you've got some tough decisions to make.

-You've got some serious thinking to do. -I know I do.

I know it better than anyone.

Thanks for your passport, Mrs. Hart, and for your cooperation.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a word with your husband.

See you back at the hotel?

I won't be long, darling.

Take a seat.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

-Lisa! -Please, may I come in?

Certainly.

-Look, I don't know how to say this. So I'll just say it. -What?

-Elliott is alive. -Did you hear from him?

He called me at the house just before I left.

-He wants me to get him out of the country. -Oh, this is great.

-I guess I should have known better. -Jonathan is with the police

right now, you can call them.

-I can't call the police. -Of course you can.

Jennifer, I don't know if I can deliberately betray him.

You're not betraying him, you're telling the truth.

Lisa, Jonathan is accused of murdering a man we both know is very much alive.

I know. Part of me thinks I have to turn him in, but the other part thinks...

Here is Detective Sergeant McNeil's card. That is his direct line.

-Here's the telephone. Call him, please. -Okay.

(RINGING)

Detective Sergeant McNeil? This is Lisa Brandt.

I've heard from Elliott Manning. Yes, he's alive.

Detective, at this point, why should I lie?

He wants me to meet him at Whale Beach in, uh,

45 minutes?

Yes. Okay. I keep him there until you and your men arrive.

Yes, bye.

Lisa, you're great.

It worked. She pulled it off because she's not a loose cannon like you are.

You know if the Hart's had been in that car, I'd have been just as finished

as they'd be.

Thanks to Lisa, there's one more round.

Did you deliver the gift to Jonathan, or did you screw that up too?

(CHUCKLING)

Hm.

-Keep down, Jennifer. -Did you see Elliott?

No, not yet. But we don't want him to see you before the police get here.

Right. I'll just stay here, and I'll look out for Detective Sergeant McNeil.

Right.

-Wish us luck. -Lisa, thank you. I couldn't have done this without you.

It's alright.

(RINGING)

Hello, this is Jennifer Hart, has Detective Sergeant McNeil left yet?

Have I left for where, Mrs. Hart?

-Detective Sergeant McNeil! -At this point, I think we know each other well enough

for you to call me Fred.

Fine. Fred, did you receive a phone call from Lisa Brandt

saying that Elliott Manning had phoned her to say that...

That's too confusing, Jennifer.

Why didn't you just stay in the car, like you were supposed to?

I'm sorry Jennifer. Really, I am.

She was talking to the cops, let's get out of here.

-Hello, Johnny. -Mr. Hart.

-What happened to you -I wouldn't go in there if I was you.

Oh now, Mrs. Hart couldn't be in that bad of a mood.

No, Mrs. Hart left with Miss Brandt a little while before it came.

-Before what came? -The crate.

-What crate? -The heavy one.

There's an envelope with it. Here, let me show you.

(ANIMAL NOISE)

There's a key, Mr. Hart.

Jonathan, I sent you one for your wedding.

Now I'm giving you one 'till death do you part if I don't get the money.

Here's the key to the gate so you can return to sender if you're not happy

with the deal.

Looking forward to seeing you. Elliott.

Is there anything I can do, sir?

Can you get me a gun, Johnny?

Well, my brother has a rifle. But that would really be putting me on the spot, sir.

Get it.

Okay.

-My friend, you're trespassing. -I'm not trespassing.

(NECK CRACKS)

Now you're trespassing.

-(TIGER GROWLS) -No! No!

Nice kitty, kitty.

(PHONE RINGING)

-Yes? -ELLIOTT: It's the biggest gray kangaroo in captivity,

you like it? Good for your breeding program, don't you think?

-Where's Jennifer? -Oh, she's right here. She'd like to talk to you if you

got a minute.

-(WHISPERING) It's Jonathan. -Darling!

Darling, you better do what he says. I think he's serious.

She's right. I am serious.

It's a swap. Jennifer for the cashier's check.

Hello, Jonathan. Are you listening?

Yes, I'm listening. Very carefully.

I want that check.

So if the check's not here within the hour,

you're gonna be attending another funeral, only this time, it's not gonna be mine.

It'll be your darling wife's.

JONATHAN: Make a left here, Johnny.

-The reserve's ahead, Johnny. -Wanna give me the key so I can open the gate, sir?

I'll get it.

When we get inside, I want you to help me let our friend out.

No worries, sir.

-You alright? -Yeah.

Come on, mate, go for it. Go on.

You're a good man, Johnny.

Thanks, Mr. Hart.

Tell you what though, I've never been a spot like this before.

(GROANING)

-Johnny, give me a hand. -(MOANING CONTINUES)

-Johnny, there's a phone in there, get on it. -Right.

Get an ambulance up here. Get the police. See if there's a first aid kit in there.

-Harry, what happened? -Manning...

-Watch out Mr. Hart. -What about my wife?

-They took her with them. -They?

Manning and Lisa Brandt.

-No phone, Mr. Hart. -Cut this off.

-(MOANING) -Hack it with it. Put him in the truck.

-Get on a phone, Johnny. -Right, Mr. Hart.

-Which way did they go? -Up the river.

-Hang in there, mate. -(GROANING)

(COCKING GUN)

(BIRD WINGS FLAPPING)

-Jennifer. -Jonathan, watch out, it's a trap!

Oh, no, no, Jonathan.

I'll let it go! Put it down.

If you look on the arrow, you'll find another key to my character.

I didn't even try to hit you. I just wanted to get your attention.

I could have hit you. You know that, but, uh,

well, it's not time.

Go ahead, use the key. Unlock the love of your life.

I won't hurt you. Not yet.

-Don't you want the check? -Oh, indeed I do.

But, I want to take it off your dead body.

I'm gonna give you ten minute start.

And then, just as in love and war, all is fair.

Oh, you guys better go.

You only got about nine and a half minutes left now.

(GASPING)

What do we do now?

The ol' Butch Cassidy and Sundance.

(SCREAMING)

(ARROW WHIZZING BY)

(SNAKE HISSING)

(SIGHS)

Jonathan, it's a dead end!

Oh!

Ah!

(GROANING)

Darling, don't!

Not for his sake, for yours.

You're right, he's not worth killing.

This proves my point, Jonathan.

People who are expert shots at target practice are often lousy at live game.

When the target's threatening, the adrenaline starts to pump.

It can throw you off your mark.

-ELLIOTT: Tonga! -(GRUNTING)

Tonga, kill them!

(GRUNTING)

(ROARING)

-(GUNSHOT) -(GROANING)

Tonga!

-Lisa! -What are you doing, are you crazy? Shoot the Harts.

I'm afraid I'm on their side. Bully?

Game, set, match. You lose.

I'm a special agent with the Australian Federal Police.

-You're not Harvey J. Lee? -No one is. We invented him.

We?

Interpol Agent Brandt and myself.

Lisa, how could you do this to me?

You probably won't believe me, Elliott, but I really did fall in love with you.

In spite of my job and better judgment.

So you made up Harvey J. Lee to mislead Manning?

Well, to take the spotlight off us.

We had to let him think that someone was after him

without revealing it was actually the man who always had a table for him

or the woman who was going to marry him.

-What do you say to that? -Bully.

-Let's go, Manning. -(MANNING GROANING)

Well, well, well, look who's here.

Oh.

Oh my... (LAUGHING)

-Looks like you found a friend. -Yes.

Hello.

-I think he likes me. -I wonder if Freeway will like him?

-Oh, I hope so. -Well, I think we've made enough friends.

Besides, we have a benefit to make.

What should we call him?

-Harvey. -J. Lee?

(LAUGHING)

-Look. -(JENNIFER LAUGHING)

Now I know why the old man was so eager to get back.

Oh, isn't it wonderful? It's the first life in this fabulous place.

I'm not kidding. That's what they call the male kangaroos,

-the old men. -Oh, is that where it comes from?

And it's a mob of kangaroos.

And the translation for kangaroo is "what is it,"

-you were right. -Where did you get your information?

-Johnny on the Spot. -Aha.

We'll we're just going to have to come back as often as we possibly can to visit you

and our mob of what-is-its.

That shouldn't be a problem.

California is only a hop, skip, and a jump from Australia.

-You didn't say that, did you? -I had to.

I'm so excited. We're finally going to be able to say we've seen it.

You know how long it's been since we've seen a bed?

-I hope I don't fall asleep. -At these prices?

I can't imagine how much you paid for these tickets.

Must've been a fortune. Thank you, darling.

It was a steal.

All I did was make a donation to the opera fund and they gave us the tickets free.

-Sh, I don't want to miss a syllable. -(JONATHAN YAWNING)

Why not?

It's in German, you know?

(JENNIFER SPEAKING GERMAN)