Original subtitles

Once upon a time when things were rotten, not just boot, but also key.

Everybody kicked the peasants, things were bad and that ain't good.

Then came Robin Hood, a bar.

Soon a band of very men began.

They wore off the state of plain green cotton, helping make them want their business.

Boy, a boy was business good.

Good

of rich, get to the fore.

And share, but they can't afford expenses.

So when other legends are forgotten, they'll be better than perfection.

They love, they love, they love.

A rich, get to the fore.

Make sense, but they can't afford expenses.

So when other legends are forgotten, they'll be better than perfection.

Audrey, I feel nervous without Robin here.

Please, let's have faith in Little John.

He's second in command.

Guys, guys, a wagon's coming.

Okay, let's get it!

Pull it!

When Robin left for his class reunion, he told me to give the orders.

Now everybody hide.

Well, what are you gonna do, Mr. Leader?

I have a plan.

It's ingenious.

I've been working on it for days.

It can't fail.

Watch this.

What is the problem with a speeding officer?

All we want to know is who you are and why you're traveling through Sherwood Forest.

Oh, that is easy.

I am Professor Autobahn, master inventor of weapons.

Oi!

Memo.

Invent.

Steps.

Wait!

What do you do when you have not got permission to search my wagon?

Have a look.

Who are you, fellas, anywhere?

We're Robin Hood's merry men.

Merry men.

Oh, the happy fellas.

I heard about you even in my country.

Yeah, you're the famous outlaws, right?

I think I have just a thing for you.

What are you talking about?

In here are plans for the most powerful weapon in the world.

In one felt swoop it will take care of all your enemies.

You have enemies, don't you?

What are you talking about?

Officer.

With this weapon, you can sit in the comfort of your own fast and indiscriminately.

You ain't telling anybody.

All you have to do is pull that little trigger.

We don't need such a weapon.

Combat is meant to be fought man-to-man, either I, toe-to-toe, hand-to-hand.

Back to back!

Belly to Belly!

Hold it!

Hold it!

This is an evil weapon.

It must be destroyed.

Anybody got a light?

What are you doing?

This is my weapon, my plan.

What do I do?

I have no choice.

What do I do?

Why me?

Why me?

Pretty good acting, huh?

Little do they know I have another set of plans right up here in my head.

The only person that would be interested in such a weapon

would be a despicable, deceitful, revolting coward.

I'll take it!

Wonderful!

When my weapon is completed, just pull the trigger and this will be destroyed.

This will be the knowledge they buy, buy to see, buy, buy!

And this is gone too.

What about this?

That's where my mommy lives.

She would never forgive me.

Hello, mommy.

Chef, may I have word with you please?

Yes, sir.

Now, Hubert, I don't know about this guy.

He talks funny.

And he's nothing around here.

And I don't like the way he dresses.

How can you be sure it's going to work?

It's there, back!

Oh, how can you be so sure?

Does a river bend?

Does a villa leap?

Does a forest talk?

Of course, Ibleberg!

Wonderful!

Let us begin at once, sir.

What will you require?

A perfume take notes.

I will need plenty of space to work.

Clear the dungeon area.

No interruptions whatsoever.

Double the guard.

And a dozen workers that talk exactly like me, 12 strange people.

Now, read that back.

Let's see.

You got a large darkened tank, hold the gap, and a side of crowd.

Wait, don't rush off.

I haven't come to the most important part.

I will need M-E-T-A-L.

Lots and lots of metal.

Much metal.

Bring me metal.

Bring me lad.

Bring copper.

Nickel.

Iron.

Brown.

Link.

Silver.

Constant.

Langady.

Oop!

Bring me some iron, copper, and zinc.

Or send some phones, and your kids should think.

Let go, lad, and cost them food.

Don't make a bother, you have it.

Please, more tin.

Is my weapon ready yet?

No, I'm just preparing some more.

A professor.

Is it possible to have the weapon ready by dinner?

Don't ask me.

Order me.

All my life.

Waited for someone to give me orders.

Order me to have it ready by dinner.

Very well then.

I am ordering you to have the weapon ready by dinner.

You call that an order?

That's too wishy-watchy.

From the heart, you've got to feel it.

Feel it.

I order you.

Yowda.

I order you.

Oh!

That was a good order.

I... I got shivers on, darling.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

We did good while you were gone, huh, Robin?

Oh, excellent, man.

I'm very, very proud of you.

And little John, you did a fine job as leader in my absence.

Oh, there's nothing, Robin.

Anybody with superior talent?

Brains and brawn could have done the same thing.

Humility is not in this man's vocabulary.

A rider approaches.

Then to one, it's made Marion.

It's made Marion.

Quickly.

Metal.

Dungeon, weapon.

Horrible.

Destruction.

Marion, what's wrong?

Prince John and the sheriff are having a terrible

weapon made in a dungeon by a man called Otto Ben.

A weapon that could destroy the whole world.

Otto, Bond, we stopped a man with that name a few days ago.

Yeah, he had blueprints for a weapon like the one Marion's talking about.

And you mean to tell me you just let him go on his merry way?

Sure.

We took his weapons and I burned his blueprints.

And didn't it occur to you that he might have the blueprints right up here?

I knew we should have searched his brains.

Marion, I must see this weapon for myself.

I'm going back to the castle with you.

May the gentle hand of heaven guide you both.

May it shield you from adversity.

And may it crush anyone who gets in your way.

The weapon is ready.

I now christen the mine of mine.

It's truly magnificent, isn't it, Sheriff?

Yes, it is.

It makes me so happy I could cry.

I wish I knew how.

I want to shoot it now.

Can I shoot it now?

Doc, hold on to your crown.

First, we must set the aimer.

You don't want to shoot it until we set the aimer, do you?

Oh.

What's the aimer?

Well, the weapon is like a lot of people we know.

It's dumb.

It doesn't know where to go, though we have to tell it so.

We use aimer.

Yes, my legion, aimer towards Gibraltar.

I have a man stationed there who will inform us of the success of this weapon.

He's the fastest man on the kingdom.

You're behind him.

Five, four, three, two, one.

That's all that's left of Gibraltar.

I always wanted a piece of the rock.

Buns the name.

Bulls the game.

How soon will the weapon be ready for shooting again?

Well, since I am the only one who can load it and this is my busy season,

can you pop in again around Thursday?

No.

I have it ready for you by tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Then we will destroy something that has been plaguing me for years.

Showered forest.

And with it...

...round...

...round...

Men, Marion was right.

I've seen the weapon.

It is more frightful and more ominous than ever I imagined.

Even I was awestruck.

And it takes a lot to strike this guy's eye.

And the worst part of it is, the sheriff is intent upon destroying Sherwood Forest.

He's got the weapon pointing right at us.

Doesn't the sheriff know it's not polite to point?

Well, obviously not.

We'll have to teach him some manners.

Alan, you know how to speak with this kind of crazy accent, don't you?

Are you kidding?

Don't you think so?

Alan, you're coming with me.

The rest of you go warn the peasants.

They're our main concern.

Marion is doing her bit at the castle.

We'll take care of Otto von and his weapon.

Oh, Lord!

Please grant Robin an Alan a successful mission.

And if they should fail, please grant those of us left in the forest.

Time to get our tails out of here.

Oh, Robin!

It's really quite good of you to help me with my nearly murder.

But you've been so quiet.

I have to be.

The sheriff has personally entrusted me with a great secret.

A great secret?

Yes, but I'll give you a hint.

And soon.

Why don't we change the subject?

Let's play a game.

Oh, good.

I'll mention a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind.

All right?

Oatmeal.

No, I haven't started yet.

I'm sorry.

Now, the first word is...

dungeon.

That's where the weapon is.

Otto von is the only person who has had to arm it.

He'll be shot off this afternoon, and the guards have been tripled.

I'm so sleepy.

Perhaps you should leave.

Leave.

Don't even get to play the lightning rounds.

Perhaps, later.

Be proud, Bertrand.

You kept your secret well.

You didn't spill a thing.

My motto is...

loose lips, sink ships.

Did you hear?

Everything.

We must act fast.

I've finished things for you.

If I had more time, I could have made them double-breasted.

No, they're perfect, Marion.

We'll need disguises.

I need these, too.

Okay, Robin.

What now?

I don't know.

This is a rough one.

We might just have to wing it.

But with all those guards, how will you get into the dungeon, Robin?

I've got it.

The pickle jar.

Of course!

The pickle jar!

You look so strong.

Could you please open this jar, Pickle's for me?

I'll open it.

You want me to work faster, or to work faster?

I order you to have this weapon, Marion, 15 minutes.

Bertrand, take a letter.

Yes, Malaysia.

Dear friends, dear Spain, dear China.

Stick them up.

And just gather eight minutes.

Yes, Brian.

In the garden.

It's all over.

Have a reading.

And if you don't have to read these, then...

Keep up the good work.

Don't go shanker.

Don't go shanker.

Well, that was close.

Well, so far, so good, Robin.

What's the plan?

I don't know.

We'll just have to play it by ear.

You know, it's too bad that the genius who created this girl... ...is a great weapon.

We're not controlled the word.

Instead, it's still a little principle.

You can bet your story on that.

Wait!

Wait!

You said something.

Something about controlling the world.

Tell me more.

Well, we can't not resolve this other people here.

Would you like to step inside the barrel of this weapon?

No way.

That is off-limits.

I am the only one allowed inside.

Then why not clear the room?

We could talk here.

Good idea.

Okay, kids.

Take a break.

Take ten.

I will fight.

I will fight.

I will fight.

I will fight.

I will fight.

I will fight.

I will fight.

We were students of yours at the university.

After university, I was kicked out of there for my lasting ideas.

You know, we have followed you long in Borelion career.

We are extremely loyal.

That's why we were so upset... ...when we discovered Prince John in the sheriff...

...taking advantage of you.

Taking advantage of me?

Yes, I mean, why should they gain from the weapon?

And after all, you are the one who created it... ...and and earned.

You are the only one who knows how to use it.

That's true.

I'm beginning to catch your dream.

Yes, why don't you write a note...

...to Prince John and inform him of your intentions?

Yes.

You know, you are extremely bitter and diabolical.

I like you.

Dear, my highness.

I never trusted him.

He'll never get away with this.

Will he?

Perhaps we can persuade our friend Otto to change his mind.

I think I have just the thing.

He, Otto, binds the first and only.

What's going on?

What's our next step?

Just follow my lead.

Pay attention.

You'll learn something.

Do you hear that?

I hear that.

That's my favorite tune.

That's my kind of music.

That's Thompson Pazza.

My health is quesan.

I'll leave.

Oh, Otto, I'll leave.

I'm coming.

Shit, Otto.

You can have all the second older girls you want... ...in your ears, the world.

Right.

Brunhilda, I can't be tied down to one girl now.

I order you to open this door.

And order is the one power I cannot ignore.

This is an order.

This is quondority.

I know.

I order you to stay.

Another order?

This is an order.

Otto, this is an order.

And this is an order.

Otto, Otto, I'm going crazy.

I need a quiet place to see.

Otto, Otto, I know a nice quiet place.

Why don't you get inside there?

It's a good place to go and get your head together.

Of course.

What a nice idea.

A decent quiet.

Here I come.

There you are now.

But from quick, bring on the battering ramp.

Bring on the battering ramp!

Everything to your liking... ...couldn't be better.

This is nice.

A little doctor... could use a lamp in here.

Memo.

Invent lamp.

Next stop, Marie's ocean.

Looks like no one ruled the world this day.

Strangers, it may seem my leisurely may have done us a favor.

What?

We owe you thanks, Robin Hood.

Now, Ketter!

And that final score again, goodness one, evil nothing.

Oh, Alan, before you hang that up.

For now, though, ring around the collar.

Don't play me.

It's Little John's shirt.

Tell him to wash behind his neck once in a while.

Robin, I'd like to request permission to stop ringing out these clothes from home.

My little John, I'd like to kill Ronaldo.

Permission denied.

Robin, look!

A bottle!

Looks like some sort of no-dinnit.

Hey, guy, look at him and don't be flat as he's sharp.

Alan.

Well, it's from Professor Otto von.

Hey, I wonder what Otto would say if he knew his weapon was a tourist attraction.

And Sherwood Landbarg.

Listen up, close.

Dear to whom it may concern.

I'm stuck on this desert island here in the

middle of Mary's ocean, with Mary and his family.

We're about two miles from the edge.

I'm out of the weapon business now, and I'm turning

my genius to something called transportation.

Transportation.

I wonder what he had in mind.