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1
00:00:00,149 --> 00:00:02,741
Hair. Everybody has it somewhere.
2
00:00:02,776 --> 00:00:06,052
Lucky for me, mine's somewhere
still on top of my head,
3
00:00:06,087 --> 00:00:07,504
and that's a good thing.
4
00:00:07,539 --> 00:00:10,814
First, because this is my nightmare.
5
00:00:10,849 --> 00:00:13,652
And second, because
in the black community,
6
00:00:13,687 --> 00:00:15,363
hair is everything.
7
00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:17,721
In fact, if I was to make a list
8
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,446
of things that were most
important to me as a black man
9
00:00:20,481 --> 00:00:21,865
besides Bow and the kids,
10
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:25,710
hair would probably fall
right between God and my mama.
11
00:00:25,745 --> 00:00:27,673
Now, mama, before you get upset,
12
00:00:27,707 --> 00:00:30,576
remember that hair helped
put black people on the map.
13
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:34,780
You see, in the early 1900s,
my girl Madam C.J. Walker
14
00:00:34,814 --> 00:00:37,416
became the first black millionaire
15
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,685
because she invented a
better version of this.
16
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,588
Second black millionaire... Oprah.
17
00:00:43,623 --> 00:00:45,724
Or maybe it was Famo Amos.
18
00:00:45,758 --> 00:00:49,027
Anyway, the point is
we care about our hair,
19
00:00:49,062 --> 00:00:53,782
and that's why the barbershop holds
such a special place in our hearts.
20
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:55,767
My barber's been with me through it all.
21
00:00:56,636 --> 00:00:58,303
From the baby baldy...
22
00:00:58,305 --> 00:01:00,322
To the fourth grade flat top...
23
00:01:00,373 --> 00:01:02,207
The sixth grade "s" curl...
24
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,142
To the graduation gumby...
25
00:01:06,362 --> 00:01:07,829
The 20s twisties...
26
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:08,880
Whoo!
27
00:01:08,915 --> 00:01:10,549
I'm gonna get all the earthy ladies.
28
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:12,184
The first-time father fro,
29
00:01:12,235 --> 00:01:13,819
and finally,
30
00:01:13,853 --> 00:01:17,923
the funky fresh Driggity
Dre you all know and adore.
31
00:01:17,974 --> 00:01:21,226
And there he is... T. Jackson.
32
00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:23,328
The man responsible for maintaining
33
00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:25,764
the third most important
thing in my life.
34
00:01:25,798 --> 00:01:27,632
We had to reorder the list.
35
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:29,100
Shrimp's making a move.
36
00:01:29,135 --> 00:01:30,435
Sorry, mamas.
37
00:01:30,469 --> 00:01:33,471
Sync and corrected by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:40,178
No matter what city you're in,
no matter where you're from,
39
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:43,565
the barbershop is never short
on its cast of characters,
40
00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:45,851
and it's this environment that shaped me
41
00:01:45,853 --> 00:01:48,320
and helped me grow into
the man I've become.
42
00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:50,906
And it would do the
same for my two boys.
43
00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:53,692
There's Ta-Ta, the conspiracy theorist.
44
00:01:53,694 --> 00:01:56,027
Hey, you know our military's
about to invade Jamaica, right?
45
00:01:56,029 --> 00:01:57,078
Yeah.
46
00:01:57,113 --> 00:01:58,196
Hey, what's up, Dre?
47
00:01:58,247 --> 00:02:00,282
There's Scootie, the bad list maker.
48
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,534
Oh, man, it goes Beyonc�, Alicia Keys,
49
00:02:02,585 --> 00:02:03,785
and Tempestt Bledsoe!
50
00:02:03,836 --> 00:02:04,836
Dre.
51
00:02:04,871 --> 00:02:06,871
There's Mike... Before I beat yo ass!
52
00:02:06,906 --> 00:02:08,123
Always fighting.
53
00:02:09,342 --> 00:02:10,709
Never winning.
54
00:02:10,743 --> 00:02:12,877
There's Renard, Jigga, and Oozi.
55
00:02:12,928 --> 00:02:16,264
They cut hair from sun up
to sundown seven days a week,
56
00:02:16,298 --> 00:02:18,183
but don't you dare call them barbers.
57
00:02:18,217 --> 00:02:19,434
I'm actually a screenwriter.
58
00:02:19,468 --> 00:02:20,268
Comedian.
59
00:02:20,302 --> 00:02:21,853
Astronaut.
60
00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:24,105
And I've already told
you about this man.
61
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,141
He's like a second uncle to the kids
62
00:02:26,192 --> 00:02:27,892
and like a first father to me.
63
00:02:27,943 --> 00:02:30,061
My man T.
64
00:02:30,112 --> 00:02:32,113
You been working out, Dre?
65
00:02:34,617 --> 00:02:36,451
I love you, man.
66
00:02:36,485 --> 00:02:38,903
All right, son, come on. It's T. Time.
67
00:02:38,954 --> 00:02:41,039
Dad, is this gonna take all day?
68
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:44,325
George R.R. Martin is at
the Waldenbooks right now,
69
00:02:44,376 --> 00:02:46,177
and I heard if you give him $20,
70
00:02:46,212 --> 00:02:48,313
he'll tell you if Tyrion becomes king.
71
00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:50,314
Boy, be quiet and wait your turn
72
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:51,699
before I red wedding your ass.
73
00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:54,118
Look like somebody doesn't
need the booster seat anymore.
74
00:02:54,169 --> 00:02:55,820
Yes!
75
00:02:55,854 --> 00:02:58,573
It really been a source
of anxiety for me.
76
00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:01,492
Hey, you need a cut, playboy?
77
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,291
Me?
78
00:03:03,326 --> 00:03:04,178
Am I playboy?
79
00:03:04,229 --> 00:03:06,397
What do you think? Yeah.
80
00:03:06,448 --> 00:03:08,032
I don't see any other
playboys around here.
81
00:03:08,066 --> 00:03:09,700
Hey, Dad, the new guy's open.
82
00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:10,668
Is it cool if I go to him?
83
00:03:10,702 --> 00:03:12,003
I don't know, Junior.
84
00:03:12,005 --> 00:03:14,598
Is it cool if I start an
Ultimate Frisbee League?
85
00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:17,091
Is it cool if I pee sitting down?
86
00:03:17,142 --> 00:03:20,761
Is it cool if I start
rocking skinny jeans, huh?
87
00:03:20,812 --> 00:03:22,596
Well, sitting down while you pee
88
00:03:22,648 --> 00:03:24,849
is supposed to reduce
your risk of cancer,
89
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,484
so that's kind of cool.
90
00:03:26,518 --> 00:03:28,319
I'm gonna go hop in the chair.
91
00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:31,272
Junior, there are unwritten
rules in the barbershop,
92
00:03:31,323 --> 00:03:34,442
and the first rule is
you never switch chas!
93
00:03:34,493 --> 00:03:35,359
Am I right?
94
00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:36,861
Yeah. You're right.
95
00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:37,615
Never.
96
00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:40,164
The barbershop was built on loyalty.
97
00:03:40,198 --> 00:03:43,167
That's how it became the
cornerstone of the community.
98
00:03:43,201 --> 00:03:45,119
- Am I right?!
- You're right.
99
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:46,036
- True. True.
- Yeah, you right.
100
00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:48,706
You stay with your barber no
matter what happens to him.
101
00:03:48,757 --> 00:03:51,759
Incarceration, tax evasion, ebola...
102
00:03:51,793 --> 00:03:54,128
He loses a thumb... Am
I forgetting something?
103
00:03:54,179 --> 00:03:55,346
Oh, there are so many things.
104
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:57,181
Um, getting trapped under the ice.
105
00:03:57,215 --> 00:03:59,550
That is a good one right there...
106
00:03:59,552 --> 00:04:01,051
Trapped under the ice.
107
00:04:01,102 --> 00:04:03,137
- Just take a little off the top.
- Got you.
108
00:04:03,188 --> 00:04:04,888
What?
109
00:04:05,974 --> 00:04:08,392
T, I apologize for my son.
110
00:04:08,443 --> 00:04:10,978
You know, suburban life has ruined him.
111
00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:13,397
Just promise me to beat
him when you get home.
112
00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:15,449
Oh, till the brakes fall off.
113
00:04:15,483 --> 00:04:16,995
Tear that ass up.
114
00:04:18,787 --> 00:04:21,038
Oh, it's snowing.
115
00:04:21,072 --> 00:04:23,123
It's so cold.
116
00:04:23,158 --> 00:04:24,458
Thoughts?
117
00:04:24,492 --> 00:04:26,744
At what age can you
divorce your parents?
118
00:04:26,795 --> 00:04:27,745
16.
119
00:04:27,796 --> 00:04:28,746
Start the paperwork.
120
00:04:28,797 --> 00:04:30,464
Come on, you guys.
121
00:04:30,498 --> 00:04:32,916
The Christmas card shoot
is in a couple of weeks.
122
00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:35,335
If we're gonna pull off
this Winter Wonderland,
123
00:04:35,386 --> 00:04:37,754
we got to have the perfect fake snow.
124
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:38,989
So, is the flour working?
125
00:04:39,023 --> 00:04:41,308
If you're going for
Christmas in Medell��n.
126
00:04:41,342 --> 00:04:42,643
Wha... how do you even...
127
00:04:42,677 --> 00:04:44,011
We're back.
128
00:04:45,814 --> 00:04:47,448
- Is that cocaine?
- No, sweetie,
129
00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:50,451
it's just a pile of
mommy's disappointment.
130
00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:53,620
Oh, my, Junior!
131
00:04:53,655 --> 00:04:56,156
Oh, my gosh, your hair.
132
00:04:56,207 --> 00:04:58,409
And your line.
133
00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:00,160
It's like...
134
00:05:01,496 --> 00:05:03,213
You know what? Mom's right.
135
00:05:03,248 --> 00:05:05,175
You can say hi to me at school tomorrow.
136
00:05:05,357 --> 00:05:08,141
Now, I won't respond, but
it'll mean something to you.
137
00:05:08,176 --> 00:05:10,103
I went to a new guy, Smoke.
138
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:14,075
He called me Pimp Juice, and we
talked all about his baby mama drama.
139
00:05:14,076 --> 00:05:14,961
What?
140
00:05:14,996 --> 00:05:17,178
I really hope he and
Latonka work it out.
141
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,396
All right, what we got to do? Oh.
142
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,567
- Oh, my God.
- What?
143
00:05:23,602 --> 00:05:25,152
What... what happened to your hair?
144
00:05:27,405 --> 00:05:29,990
No. More like p'ehh.
145
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:30,858
What do you mean?
146
00:05:30,909 --> 00:05:32,076
She means...
147
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,245
The same guy that did that
148
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:35,829
couldn't have done that.
149
00:05:35,864 --> 00:05:38,799
No, no, no, baby girl. This is
T. all day every day, all right?
150
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:41,535
Did T. recently have a stroke?
151
00:05:41,586 --> 00:05:43,420
Maybe while you were in his chair?
152
00:05:43,455 --> 00:05:44,538
I don't think so.
153
00:05:44,589 --> 00:05:46,206
Mm.
154
00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:49,059
'Cause all I see is chocolaty
goodness. Look at that.
155
00:05:49,094 --> 00:05:50,828
'Cause you're working your angles.
156
00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:52,529
Dad...
157
00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:54,698
Look straight into the mirror.
158
00:05:56,251 --> 00:05:58,052
What the?
159
00:05:58,054 --> 00:06:00,270
- Look at..
- Dre, this is not good.
160
00:06:00,305 --> 00:06:02,856
The family photo is
right around the corner.
161
00:06:02,907 --> 00:06:05,626
You're gonna need to go back to the
shop and have Smoke give you a Junior.
162
00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:07,661
- No!
- Tell him Pimp Juice sent you.
163
00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:10,080
Shut up. T. is my barber, okay?
164
00:06:10,131 --> 00:06:14,494
His cage was just rattled because he
was betrayed by light-skinned Judas.
165
00:06:14,528 --> 00:06:15,484
It's Junior.
166
00:06:15,654 --> 00:06:18,414
Yeah, you know what? You be
lucky if T. ever takes you back.
167
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:19,949
I don't want to go back.
168
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,701
I'm out of the T. business.
169
00:06:21,752 --> 00:06:23,453
I'm a Smoke man now.
170
00:06:23,504 --> 00:06:25,705
What?! So you're switching barbers?
171
00:06:25,756 --> 00:06:27,123
Bow, can you believe this?
172
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,675
Yeah. Have you seen your hair?
173
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:29,959
It's not about my hair.
174
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,294
It should be.
175
00:06:31,345 --> 00:06:33,046
It's about my son violating
176
00:06:33,097 --> 00:06:34,631
- the most sacred of codes.
- Oh, my God.
177
00:06:34,682 --> 00:06:36,716
Boy, where are you going?
178
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:39,886
Good God, son! Who
did that to you? Uh...
179
00:06:39,937 --> 00:06:41,387
- I want a name.
- Not now, mama.
180
00:06:41,438 --> 00:06:42,856
Judas!
181
00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:45,819
So, now that your father has got
to wear a hat in these pictures,
182
00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:46,944
I'm gonna have to
change the whole theme.
183
00:06:46,945 --> 00:06:49,295
The costumes, the backdrop.
184
00:06:49,296 --> 00:06:51,878
I'm gonna lose the deposit
for the penguin wrangler.
185
00:06:51,913 --> 00:06:52,615
Mm-hmm.
186
00:06:52,616 --> 00:06:54,784
It got left to the last minute,
187
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:57,787
and now someone's got a
case of the overwhelms.
188
00:06:57,788 --> 00:06:59,389
- N-no. - Why
don't you let me
189
00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:01,491
help you out this year
with the photo shoot?
190
00:07:01,492 --> 00:07:03,830
You do tend to get a bit stressed out.
191
00:07:03,994 --> 00:07:06,429
- I do not.
- Uh, do, too.
192
00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:08,331
Every single year.
193
00:07:08,332 --> 00:07:10,066
You wind up crying in all the photos.
194
00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:12,403
I wouldn't say all the photos.
195
00:07:18,409 --> 00:07:20,810
Your tears stained my reindeer costume.
196
00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:22,746
Well, I'm really slammed at work.
197
00:07:22,747 --> 00:07:25,916
And add in the fact that I'm
a full-time mother of four.
198
00:07:25,917 --> 00:07:26,983
That's the spirit! That's the...
199
00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:28,247
I didn't finish what I was gonna say.
200
00:07:28,319 --> 00:07:30,421
No, no, no. Don't you
worry about a thing.
201
00:07:30,422 --> 00:07:31,789
I'm gonna take care of all of this.
202
00:07:31,790 --> 00:07:33,490
Okay. Okay.
203
00:07:33,491 --> 00:07:34,359
All right.
204
00:07:36,294 --> 00:07:37,228
Now...
205
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,364
Enough.
206
00:07:40,365 --> 00:07:43,535
The theme is now going to be...
207
00:07:45,837 --> 00:07:47,171
Elegance.
208
00:07:47,172 --> 00:07:48,338
What?!
209
00:07:48,339 --> 00:07:49,339
Wait...
210
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,774
Elegance.
211
00:07:50,775 --> 00:07:51,877
I can't do elegance.
212
00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:53,544
I'm quirky at best.
213
00:07:53,545 --> 00:07:56,547
We won't be able to hide
behind Mom's dumb theme anymore.
214
00:07:56,548 --> 00:07:59,283
Elegance is going to expose
us for who we really are.
215
00:07:59,284 --> 00:08:01,285
But I don't like who I really am.
216
00:08:01,286 --> 00:08:04,021
Relax. It's just a Christmas card.
217
00:08:04,022 --> 00:08:06,390
- Just a Christmas card?
- Yeah.
218
00:08:06,391 --> 00:08:09,226
Just a Christmas card?!
219
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,295
Yeah.
220
00:08:11,296 --> 00:08:13,744
The Christmas card sets the
tone for the coming year,
221
00:08:13,932 --> 00:08:15,700
and God forbid you have an off day.
222
00:08:15,701 --> 00:08:17,402
Your next year is shot.
223
00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:19,371
Remember last year for Jack?
224
00:08:21,407 --> 00:08:22,974
That was a hard year for me.
225
00:08:22,975 --> 00:08:24,409
This is never going to work.
226
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,111
I can't afford two in a row!
227
00:08:26,112 --> 00:08:27,279
You know what, guys,
228
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,615
the first rule of
elegance is never panic.
229
00:08:30,616 --> 00:08:32,217
Is freaking out okay?
230
00:08:32,218 --> 00:08:34,153
'Cause I just peed a little.
231
00:08:35,454 --> 00:08:37,389
I was trying to concentrate,
232
00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:39,291
but junior's betrayal and my own hair
233
00:08:39,292 --> 00:08:40,568
had me off my game at work.
234
00:08:40,627 --> 00:08:42,594
Okay, and with the integration
into the company's interface,
235
00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:43,695
you will see that we can...
236
00:08:43,696 --> 00:08:45,697
Dre, I'm gonna stop you.
237
00:08:45,698 --> 00:08:47,633
You do realize that
you've been cycling through
238
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,135
the HDMI inputs this whole time, right?
239
00:08:50,136 --> 00:08:52,037
- I thought it still worked.
- Guys, I'm sorry.
240
00:08:52,038 --> 00:08:53,672
I'm so upset with my son
241
00:08:53,673 --> 00:08:55,541
that I can't even focus right now.
242
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:57,843
Oh, I've been through this before.
243
00:08:57,844 --> 00:09:00,846
Look, you've got to
get him to Dubai, okay?
244
00:09:00,847 --> 00:09:03,649
It's the land of no
laws, no extraditions,
245
00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:05,584
and the shopping mall there is amazing.
246
00:09:05,585 --> 00:09:07,314
- What? No.
- Yes, Dre.
247
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,655
There's a ski lift inside that bad boy!
248
00:09:09,656 --> 00:09:11,524
This is about loyalty.
249
00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:12,758
We've been going to the same barber
250
00:09:12,759 --> 00:09:14,193
since he was a kid,
251
00:09:14,194 --> 00:09:16,144
and just like that, he drops him.
252
00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:19,232
- What the fuck, boss?
- Yeah, I know, man.
253
00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:21,000
- I was gonna call off sick today.
- Yo, straight up,
254
00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:22,769
if you don't bounce
right now, I'm going to.
255
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,170
- That bad?
- So, I'm...
256
00:09:24,171 --> 00:09:26,773
I'm just trying to sift
through all the hip-hop here,
257
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,775
and I'm gathering that
dre got a bad haircut
258
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,143
and you think he should go home?
259
00:09:30,144 --> 00:09:31,410
Do you see that line?
260
00:09:31,411 --> 00:09:33,813
This is not a bad haircut.
261
00:09:33,814 --> 00:09:35,949
This is the starting five
for the San Antonio spurs.
262
00:09:38,352 --> 00:09:40,453
Five rings, no fades.
263
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,315
Yes, but they are so
fundamentally sound.
264
00:09:43,524 --> 00:09:44,958
You know, I got to be honest, Driggity,
265
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,759
I didn't think your hair even grew.
266
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,528
Yeah, I always thought it
was just a textured tattoo.
267
00:09:48,529 --> 00:09:50,146
I thought it was a cadaver wig.
268
00:09:50,181 --> 00:09:51,164
What are you talking about?
269
00:09:51,165 --> 00:09:53,364
Am I the only black
man you've ever seen?
270
00:09:53,399 --> 00:09:54,100
Uh...
271
00:09:54,101 --> 00:09:55,590
Oh, no, I knew dozens in college.
272
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:56,970
Well, there's this guy,
whatever his name is.
273
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,471
Maybe four, tops.
274
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,507
I get my hair cut once a week.
275
00:10:00,508 --> 00:10:01,374
- Really?
- What?
276
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:03,142
Okay, that is dumb.
277
00:10:03,143 --> 00:10:04,978
Lucy, how often do you cut my hair?
278
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,928
Oh, everybody, Lucy cuts my hair.
279
00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:07,876
- Really?
- Yeah.
280
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,116
I have a pair of scissors
this close to his jugular
281
00:10:10,117 --> 00:10:11,818
every six to eight weeks.
282
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:12,986
You know what?
283
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,304
Sounds like you need to
fire your barber, Drizzles.
284
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,522
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
285
00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:16,590
Nobody's saying all that.
286
00:10:16,591 --> 00:10:18,325
That's his barber, man.
287
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,659
T. is like family.
288
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:23,130
Well, firing family is the
easiest firing there is.
289
00:10:23,131 --> 00:10:24,664
I'll fire some family right now.
290
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,903
"Time to get off the teat, Grandma."
291
00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:28,620
Gone.
292
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:30,003
Bitch is fired.
293
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,660
- You don't get it.
- He does not get it.
294
00:10:31,783 --> 00:10:34,274
Look, you don't bail on your
barber after one bad cut.
295
00:10:34,275 --> 00:10:36,582
Don't you have somebody in
your life that you and your sons
296
00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:38,678
- have a special relationship with?
- Yeah.
297
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,547
Like... the skeet shooting instructor?
298
00:10:40,548 --> 00:10:42,249
- No.
- The African baby adoption agent?
299
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,250
No.
300
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,418
The guy that checks your moles.
301
00:10:45,419 --> 00:10:46,520
Dr. Rubenstein, yes.
302
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,621
After every checkup,
303
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:50,609
we toast each other with gimlets
and hit the local tanning salon.
304
00:10:50,768 --> 00:10:53,517
And would you ever have
anybody else tell you
305
00:10:53,643 --> 00:10:55,123
that you had skin cancer?
306
00:10:55,223 --> 00:10:57,230
- Never.
- Exactly.
307
00:10:57,231 --> 00:10:59,232
I'm gonna go back to T.
308
00:10:59,233 --> 00:11:01,368
Just because I had a few bad
haircuts doesn't mean that
309
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,669
I have to take the
clippers out of his hand.
310
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:04,137
- Right.
- It's like...
311
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:05,537
- It's like Kobe Bryant.
- Right.
312
00:11:05,637 --> 00:11:06,663
When he has a bad game,
313
00:11:06,787 --> 00:11:08,282
you put the ball right
back in his hands!
314
00:11:08,432 --> 00:11:09,795
- Yes, you do.
- That's what I'm gonna do to T.
315
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,810
I'm gonna put the clippers
right back in his hands
316
00:11:11,957 --> 00:11:14,714
- and show my son what loyalty's all about!
- That's right!
317
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,650
Kobe! Kobe!
318
00:11:19,987 --> 00:11:21,677
Damn you, Kobe!
319
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:25,468
Hey, wait.
320
00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:27,691
What happened to Winter Wonderland?
321
00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:30,260
Oh, sweetie, this is a Christmas card
322
00:11:30,294 --> 00:11:32,944
that does not immediately get tossed out
323
00:11:32,946 --> 00:11:35,263
like your lentil bean casserole.
324
00:11:35,298 --> 00:11:36,564
Look, for this year's card,
325
00:11:36,598 --> 00:11:38,533
I want you to think elegance.
326
00:11:38,884 --> 00:11:41,652
Picture marble, animal prints,
327
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:45,189
mahogany, coach bags.
328
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:49,226
Hey, Dre, what...
329
00:11:49,277 --> 00:11:50,744
- What's wrong?
- Baby?
330
00:11:51,729 --> 00:11:52,796
Aah!
331
00:11:52,847 --> 00:11:54,481
Oh, my...
332
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:56,750
Black Jesus, black Jesus.
333
00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:57,968
My hairline.
334
00:11:58,019 --> 00:11:59,436
My nice, full, sweet,
335
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,972
never-did-nothing-to-nobody
hairline.
336
00:12:02,006 --> 00:12:03,540
Dre, Smoke did that?
337
00:12:05,243 --> 00:12:06,706
I went back to T.
338
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,107
You went back to T?!
339
00:12:08,142 --> 00:12:09,943
It's like T.'s Kobe, and
if Kobe has a bad game,
340
00:12:09,977 --> 00:12:11,661
you don't take the ball
out of Kobe's hands.
341
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:13,587
You give it back to him and
say, "shoot, Kobe! Shoot!"
342
00:12:13,741 --> 00:12:15,415
Well, maybe Kobe of 10 years ago,
343
00:12:15,449 --> 00:12:17,200
but not Kobe of today.
344
00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:19,102
He's taken the whole franchise down.
345
00:12:19,136 --> 00:12:20,486
Dre, enough is enough.
346
00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:23,206
We are taking these
family photos next week,
347
00:12:23,257 --> 00:12:25,525
so either get yourself a new barber,
348
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,910
or at the very least, a sharpie, okay?
349
00:12:27,962 --> 00:12:30,179
Hair's crazy.
350
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:31,264
First lesson.
351
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:34,250
Elegance is all about poise and posture.
352
00:12:34,301 --> 00:12:35,835
Observe.
353
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,859
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
354
00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:45,098
Elegance...!
355
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,633
Even... In pain.
356
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,152
You have glass in your hair.
357
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,370
- Is it shimmering?
- Does it matter?
358
00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:54,607
What are you doing with my phone?
359
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:57,043
Wha... Is this your phone?
360
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,377
You know, I thought this was my phone.
361
00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:00,346
With the Gandalf case?
362
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,735
Oh!
363
00:13:03,736 --> 00:13:05,846
You're looking for Smoke's info.
364
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,020
No. Smoke? Please.
365
00:13:08,071 --> 00:13:09,622
Ahh. I get it.
366
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,623
He's great.
367
00:13:10,691 --> 00:13:12,792
He's got a great eye for fashion. Mm.
368
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,327
Said I did, too.
369
00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:16,646
- I'm gonna take more risks.
- I think you should, son,
370
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,615
but... Is it cool if
I get that number? Hmm.
371
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,334
I don't know, Dad.
372
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,402
Is it cool if I start wearing lip gloss?
373
00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:25,838
Is it cool if I start
listening to the Fray?
374
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,006
- Who?
- Is it cool
375
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,642
if I trade in all my sneakers for uggs?
376
00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:32,878
- Okay.
- Besides, whatever happened to loyalty?
377
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,764
What the barbershop was built on,
378
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:38,584
how it became the
cornerstone of the community.
379
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,807
I just need a good haircut, son.
380
00:13:46,143 --> 00:13:47,810
Hey, Ruby.
381
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,546
- Can I help you with anything?
- No, no. You relax.
382
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,199
I'm just putting together a mock photo
383
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,568
of where we'll all be
standing on the day.
384
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,836
And you're using the cast of "Empire"?
385
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,573
Well, if there's a better
way of showing elegance,
386
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:01,884
I don't know of it.
387
00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:03,490
Oh, I-I could thing of a couple.
388
00:14:03,652 --> 00:14:05,477
Listen, listen. Take Cookie.
389
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,580
Now, she's a bad bitch.
390
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,715
She's strong, she's beautiful,
391
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,850
and she oozes elegance.
392
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:15,421
Which is why she will
be front and center.
393
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,989
And let me guess,
394
00:14:17,786 --> 00:14:18,877
you're Cookie?
395
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,176
Is there another bad
bitch in this house?
396
00:14:22,045 --> 00:14:25,280
Now, behind every matriarch
397
00:14:25,315 --> 00:14:28,000
is a dreamer with a voice and hair
398
00:14:28,051 --> 00:14:30,152
that you would do jail time for.
399
00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:31,153
That's Lucious.
400
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,404
That's my Dre.
401
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,107
- Yes. Yeah.
- He needs to be right behind Cookie.
402
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,191
Yeah.
403
00:14:36,226 --> 00:14:38,243
And so, um, who am I,
404
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,411
and where will I be standing?
405
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,929
- You're the white girl Rhonda.
- Wha...
406
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,652
And who says she'll be standing?
407
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,501
So, you're just gonna
have me on the floor?
408
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,571
Now see, that's such a Rhonda
way of looking at things.
409
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,790
Oh, my God, okay. Great, thanks.
410
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,258
Um, yeah.
411
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,094
So, I went to the shop on T's day off
412
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,080
to see if Smoke could help me out,
413
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:02,100
but he was with one of his
loyal, disloyal regulars.
414
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,302
Hey, what's up, Dre?
415
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,471
Hey, hey, y'all know the Nation of Islam
are turning into Scientologists, right?
416
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:07,556
- Y'all heard that?
- What?
417
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,523
Yeah. I heard that.
418
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,825
Man, you sound stupid.
419
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,576
- I'm gonna look it up.
- Hey, Smoke.
420
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,395
Hey, man, you think you can jump
me ahead of a couple folks, man?
421
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,697
Uh... I got a situation over here.
422
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:17,966
Whoa! Damn!
423
00:15:21,605 --> 00:15:23,021
Hey, Lebron, what you doing here?
424
00:15:23,073 --> 00:15:24,373
Aren't you guys playing
in Detroit tonight?
425
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,557
Shut up!
426
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,236
Wow, you much shorter
and fatter in person.
427
00:15:27,944 --> 00:15:29,211
- Yo mama.
- Last season,
428
00:15:29,245 --> 00:15:31,013
you carried the whole
team on your forehead.
429
00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,181
Oh, good one. Good one.
430
00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:35,000
Yo, Smoke, man, since T. not here, man,
431
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,185
you think you can fix this?
432
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,719
No. You're T's guy.
433
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,071
I'll call him in.
434
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,673
Hey, man, look like Ta-Ta
was right about the Nation.
435
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,141
- It's the truth.
- Let me see that.
436
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,142
Scroll.
437
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,610
Oh, oh. That's my penis.
438
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,912
That's... sorry about that.
439
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,513
What, man? That's not
supposed to be in there.
440
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,098
Yo, Pimp Juice,
441
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:51,950
what happened to that
girl you told us about?
442
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,251
Oh, Sasha?
443
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,170
She told me to call her at 1:00.
444
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,471
Don't.
445
00:15:56,506 --> 00:15:58,540
Start a text bubble about 1:30.
446
00:15:58,574 --> 00:16:00,955
Yeah, but don't send
anything off till about 4:00.
447
00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:03,494
Yeah, yeah, and then all
you say is "'Sup? Who dis?"
448
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,747
- Really?
- Yeah, trust me.
449
00:16:05,782 --> 00:16:07,799
You do that, and Sasha will
be on your line in five minutes
450
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:09,985
with a phone call
like, "did you text me?"
451
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:13,455
Then you be like, "no. But
what's up with you, baby girl?"
452
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,173
Baby girl.
453
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,274
I can do that.
454
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,879
Now, is "who dis" with one "s" or two?
455
00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:22,214
There you are, T.
456
00:16:22,265 --> 00:16:24,988
Bron-Bron's over here
looking for you to fix him up.
457
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,085
Whoa! Whoa!
458
00:16:29,105 --> 00:16:30,488
What did you do to your hair?
459
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,624
What did you do to my hair, huh?
460
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,125
What, me?
461
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,310
You must've messed with it at home.
462
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:37,312
Why would I do this to my own hair?!
463
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,281
I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.
464
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,183
Look, people know that I cut your hair,
465
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:45,153
and I can't let you walk
around looking like that.
466
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,272
Let me just get down
on this burrito first.
467
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,674
Fool, I've been walking
around like this all week.
468
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,393
Oh, here we go.
469
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,161
Lebron!
470
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,097
Witness!
471
00:16:56,921 --> 00:16:59,083
As the powder settled all around me,
472
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,719
I realized I'm a grown-ass man.
473
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,421
I don't need this.
474
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,522
23!
475
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,441
Hey, Ruby, have you seen my...
476
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,892
Oh, my. Oh, my God.
477
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:08,993
Oh, my God!
478
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,128
I know.
479
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:13,915
100% pure, uncut elegance.
480
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,234
Zoey, go upstairs
481
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,269
and wash that makeup off your face.
482
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:19,771
Jack, no gangsta leaning in this house!
483
00:17:19,822 --> 00:17:20,872
- And Diane...
- No.
484
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,557
Diane, take off those fishnets.
485
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,559
Take them off.
486
00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:27,028
You guys look ridiculous.
487
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,380
Ruby, is that your idea
488
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,140
of a family Christmas card?
489
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,952
It's supposed to be wholesome and sweet,
490
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,621
and have something to do with Christmas.
491
00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:38,489
There's a lion, Rhonda.
492
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:42,577
Christmas is not about
being a bad bitch.
493
00:17:42,611 --> 00:17:44,495
- Neither is that sweater.
- Well...
494
00:17:45,335 --> 00:17:47,315
Actually, it's biodegradable.
495
00:17:47,349 --> 00:17:49,117
- It's hideous.
- Wha...?
496
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,553
So, I gave it another week
for my hair to grow back,
497
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:54,172
then I took action.
498
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,339
What are you doing, Dad?
499
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,542
Oh. Solving our problems, son.
500
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,709
This is Montana.
501
00:17:58,761 --> 00:17:59,961
He's a barber to the stars.
502
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,760
He cuts Matt Kemp, Usher.
503
00:18:01,795 --> 00:18:02,480
Dennis Haysbert.
504
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,081
Whoo-hoo! You hear that, son?
505
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,584
Dennis Haysbert. He
stays with a fresh one.
506
00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:09,187
We don't have to deal with
the b.s. politics of the shop.
507
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,439
No waiting, no clowning,
508
00:18:11,473 --> 00:18:13,858
no play fighting that
turns into real fighting
509
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,209
that turns into jail time.
510
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:17,378
And we don't have to watch "Pootie Tang"
511
00:18:17,412 --> 00:18:18,596
on a constant loop.
512
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:20,264
Get to.
513
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,600
Get to watch "Pootie Tang."
514
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,318
Sada-tay.
515
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,021
Smoke's my barber until I die,
516
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:28,606
or Latonka kills him.
517
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,192
He gave me the courage to
wear these paisley pants,
518
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:35,196
which I admit are a mistake,
but I am seeing it through.
519
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,448
Suburban life has ruined you, Dad.
520
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,867
I'm going to see my barber.
521
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,502
Fine! Go!
522
00:18:42,157 --> 00:18:45,717
Hey, give me the Dennis Haysbert.
523
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,906
Hey, everybody. Hey.
524
00:18:50,352 --> 00:18:52,720
Wha-w-why's everybody
dressed like that?
525
00:18:52,922 --> 00:18:54,171
And I'm dressed like this?
526
00:18:54,222 --> 00:18:56,057
Isn't this what you wanted?
527
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,392
You tricked me?
528
00:18:58,426 --> 00:19:00,261
Don't mess with Cookie.
529
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,396
Okay.
530
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,516
Sorry I'm late.
531
00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:06,734
Damn, son.
532
00:19:06,768 --> 00:19:08,569
What happened to your hair?
533
00:19:08,603 --> 00:19:09,854
I went down to the shop
534
00:19:09,905 --> 00:19:12,022
and Smoke totally jacked me up
535
00:19:12,073 --> 00:19:14,575
'cause he and Mike got
into it over R. Kelly.
536
00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:16,410
- Again?
- Smoke beat him up,
537
00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:18,112
but he didn't stop cutting my hair.
538
00:19:18,114 --> 00:19:19,613
He even changed guards.
539
00:19:19,615 --> 00:19:21,448
- And he didn't fix you up?
- No.
540
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,117
He claimed he didn't do it,
541
00:19:23,168 --> 00:19:25,619
but I never left his chair.
542
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:26,954
I think you're right, Dad.
543
00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:28,672
That place is a lot to handle.
544
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:30,457
And to be honest,
545
00:19:30,459 --> 00:19:32,710
it wasn't the same without you.
546
00:19:32,761 --> 00:19:35,262
Sorry you had a rough time, son.
547
00:19:35,296 --> 00:19:37,298
Maybe your barber is the way to go.
548
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,383
Well, he did give me the Haysbert.
549
00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:44,388
'Sup, Sasha?
550
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:46,106
No, I didn't text you.
551
00:19:46,341 --> 00:19:49,176
But what's up with you, baby girl?
552
00:19:53,231 --> 00:19:54,598
Oh, my God.
553
00:19:54,649 --> 00:19:56,850
Hey. What's going on with you?
554
00:19:56,852 --> 00:19:58,151
I'm an idiot.
555
00:19:58,186 --> 00:20:00,270
I had a bad couple of
trips to the barbershop
556
00:20:00,321 --> 00:20:04,107
and I lost sight of why I was taking
the boys there in the first place.
557
00:20:04,158 --> 00:20:05,826
It's not about haircuts.
558
00:20:05,860 --> 00:20:09,223
I learned some stuff on a Saturday
that I can't learn anywhere else.
559
00:20:09,331 --> 00:20:11,164
It's how you become a man.
560
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,716
You just saw it with Junior.
561
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,252
- He played a girl!
- Great lesson.
562
00:20:15,303 --> 00:20:18,055
But he learned that in the shop
563
00:20:18,089 --> 00:20:20,223
and he wouldn't give me Smoke's number
564
00:20:20,258 --> 00:20:21,475
because he was forming
565
00:20:21,509 --> 00:20:23,477
his own relationships in that world
566
00:20:23,511 --> 00:20:25,228
just like I did!
567
00:20:25,263 --> 00:20:27,094
I've got to get Junior back in there.
568
00:20:27,178 --> 00:20:28,779
He needs this.
569
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:31,648
Okay, I have my own problems.
570
00:20:31,649 --> 00:20:32,850
Okay, what's up?
571
00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:37,487
And later on,
572
00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:41,436
I got the boys back into a place that
I knew it was important for them to be...
573
00:20:41,594 --> 00:20:43,593
So, what you're saying
is that Scientologists
574
00:20:43,594 --> 00:20:45,368
are taking over the
whole Nation of Islam?
575
00:20:45,508 --> 00:20:47,798
Yes, man, I just saw
them parading down slauson
576
00:20:47,799 --> 00:20:49,700
selling the bean pies and all that.
577
00:20:49,701 --> 00:20:50,934
- No, no.
- Real talk.
578
00:20:50,935 --> 00:20:52,336
- No way.
- Would I lie?
579
00:20:52,337 --> 00:20:54,471
Even if it came at my own expense.
580
00:20:54,472 --> 00:20:56,873
Added some sporty little lines in there.
581
00:20:56,874 --> 00:20:58,276
What you think?
582
00:20:59,577 --> 00:21:01,746
Think I'll see you next Saturday.
41212
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