All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S09E09

[Michael] I hate

that I have
to be taken care of.

It's humiliating,

that destroys my morale.

[dramatic music playing]

Somewhere in me is this
little glimmer of hope.

I just want to be
a normal person.

[exhales sharply]

[man] You can't do it
and then I just get mad.

[woman] If I don't make
a change now

I'm scared
it's going to be too late.

[grunts] No.
[indistinct] hurts.

I refuse to stop fighting.

I have to do this
for my children.

So with all these things,

not liking people,

how do... Where do you get
such a supporting wife,

how did you find that?

[dramatic music playing]

Morning, baby.

How's your sleep?

Morning.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] Every day I wake up
and struggle

to start my day

because of my size.

Just basic things
are so hard for me now.

But thankfully,

I'm still able
to at least get out of bed,

I just can't get go far.

Usually, I can only make it
to the couch

or the bathroom
to freshen up for the day

but it's gotten hard for me

because being on my feet

gets to be
very painful for me,

you know?

I at least try to do
bathroom stuff

and clean up myself

but because
of how hard it is,

I really only shower
every few days.

Most of the time,

the only energy I have

is to sit
on the side of the tub

or on the toilet
or wipe myself down

or shave something.

I just can't do much

and my wife has to help me
out most of the time,

whether it's
helping me shower

when I have the energy
to do that

or putting lotion
or powder on areas

my body that needed

that I can't reach.

[Kimberly] Ready for me,
Mickey?

Just about.

I don't want her to have
to take care of me like that

but if she doesn't do it,

the rash develops
in one of my faults,

one of my creases,
it goes fungal,

then things
can get bad for me.

So Kim has to, you know,

powder me up
like a baby on the bed.

Okay.
Oh. Oh, baby.

Hmm.

Everything
is harder for Michael

with all that weight.

So one of the things

is that his skin
can get rashy

and so I have to make sure
that I help him

put lotion on.

And Michael
gets very self-conscious

when he can't take care
of himself

and I tell him that he can be
a caregiver sometimes

and I can be
a caregiver sometimes.

But lately,
it's been just me

and it's hard
because you get tired.

But I just do it

because Michael
is my soul mate

and I will do anything
for him.

[Michael] It is an extremely
painful way

to go through life.
I wouldn't wish this

on my worst enemy,
having to carry

this much weight on them.

And most of the time

I just want to hide
from everything.

But I try to keep going
and get out of the bedroom

and to see my kids.

We have two kids too,

Xandra, who's 17,

and Liam, who's 12.

So I get the energy
to get to the couch

and then...

[exhales sharply]

...I just eat
and spend my time there

until I fall asleep

or get tired and go to bed.

[indistinct]
that out for you?

No, this is good.

So most of my day

just spend eating

and I love eating

but I hate how
it's literally killing me.

And I still don't
want to stop

because of how food
makes me feel.

Food has basically
destroyed my life already

even though I know
what it's doing to me.

When I'm hungry,

I don't think
about that.

All I care about

is that food

is gonna make me feel better.

It's always done that for me.

I wish it were different.

Liam.

[Liam] Yeah?

Do you wanna play
some video games?

-[Liam] Sure.
-Okay.

But I can't change the past

and I think
that craving I have

for food started
when I was very young.

It's when I was
just a few years old,

my dad left my mom and I,

so we had to move in
with my grandparents.

And my grandma was trying
to keep me fed constantly.

And by the time I was seven,

I was probably close
a hundred...

a hundred and 10 pounds

and it made
a perpetual cycle

where I would get bigger,
I was feel bad

about being bigger.

I would eat more

and I kept getting
bigger and bigger,

and the bigger I got,

the less I wanted to be
around the other kids

because they started
to make fun of my size,

and being picked on
by everyone in school,

it's very isolating
and very lonely.

So, I stayed at home, I
played video games and I ate.

And that was pretty
much my life for a few years.

And then, things got worse
for me when I was 11.

My mother had signed me up

for a kid's wilderness
club thing

and a lot of the meetings
were fine.

But then we did
an overnight camping trip,

and of course,
the pack leader

was very charismatic

but unbeknownst
to me at that time,

he was also a pedophile,

so he would have
the boys all strip down

and go sliding down
the rocks slides naked

and do different
things with each other.

He would have me do
those things too

and he took advantage of me.

He would have me
take my clothes off

and he would molest me,
but he didn't pursue me

as much as the other boys.

At that point,
it started dawning on me

for being fat I was
not desirable to pedophiles.

So I assumed
that the more I ate,

the less desirable
I would get

by getting bigger.

So I made it my mission
to get bigger.

And when I was around 14,

I was 250 pounds.

Thankfully, my mother
took me out of the situation.

But I was starting
to get a lot bigger

and that just made
the bullying

at school even worse,

and high school
was the worst

because high school
was where the real

torment started.

High school was when
you really started

getting more into the mental
and emotional pain.

It was at least
50 pounds a year

just steadily.

The eating habits
never changed

and they increase and it was
a steady progression for me

all through high school.

By the time I graduated,

I was probably
close to 400 pounds

but it wasn't holding me back
to the point

where I felt like
I couldn't live my life

because I was able
to go to college

after high school

and had ended up
being a good time for me.

College is when I finally
got confidence in myself

when I started realizing
that my size

could be used as an asset

because I was able
to get jobs

doing things like
being a bouncer at the club.

I was basically a body guard

and I wanted to do
that job better.

Then that led me
into martial arts.

And at this point,
I was probably close

to 500 pounds,

the martial arts

was making me
a better person,

a stronger person,

and a healthier person.

When I graduated,

threw myself
into training even more

and I fully dedicated myself
to martial arts.

I was training
four days a week,

five days a week,
six, seven hours a day.

So, I was fully committed
to martial arts

for around
seven years of my life.

And over that time,
I lost around 120 pounds.

It was back around 380
by the time I was 25,

so I was feeling good

and I was in the best shape
of my life.

So taking martial arts,

it allowed me to boost
my confidence so much

that I was able to meet
the love of my life,

Kimberly, and marry her.

Kimberly and I actually met

one night at a live action
role-playing game.

She had heard about me
from a friend of a friend

and as soon
as I went to this event,

I see this black blur

just bolting at me

and then I get tackled

by this person

and it was my wife
that was Kimberly.

[Kimberly] Michael and I met
through a mutual friend

and I had been told
so much about him,

about how amazing he was

and how I would
just fall in love with him.

And so when I saw
this massive,

just tall as a giant man
got out of the car,

I just run up to him
and I tackle him

and I give him a hug
and, yeah,

that's how we met.

[Michael] And it
was love at first sight.

So, Kim and I dated,

and it really
became the first night

that we spent
the night with each other,

Kim never left.

[Kimberly]
I just never left. [laughs]

And I fell in love first
I think

or I said it first,
and it was like months

before he said that
he held on on me. [laughs]

[Michael] We just fell
in love with each other

and have been together
ever since.

We were meant to be.

[Kimberly]
About a year later,

things were going wonderful
with Michael and I

and we ended up
having Xander.

[Michael]
And when he was born,

that's when I decided,

wanted it all to be official.

And so, in front
of the justice of the peace,

we got married.

We had my infant son, Xander,
as a witness.

It was amazing. It was a day
I'll never forget.

Soon after that, I decided
I wanted to get healthier

so I could do more
with my son and Kim did too.

She gained
a lot of weight

probably from being
around my eating habits.

So we both decided
to get gastric bypass surgery

and I was approved,
so was Kim.

She had her surgery
but I never got mine

because right after
I finally got my approval,

I got into a car wreck,

pretty bad one,

where I rolled
my car four times,

take out a lamp post,
take out a fire hydrant.

So they put me under,
going to surgery.

I woke up a few hours later
minus the spleen,

I was alive
but I was left

with all these scarring
in my abdomen,

and in the end,
the scar tissue

was too extensive for gastric
bypass to be possible,

so I ultimately
couldn't get to surgery

because of that
and I took that news

really hard
and I got really depressed.

So, I spent
the next couple of years

going back to food again
until I got up to 450 pounds,

and it took me sometime

and a lot of food
to bring me out of it.

But once I started to come
back from that depression,

me and Kimberly began to talk
about having another child.

Nine months later, our second
son, Liam came out.

And at that point,
I stopped doing martial arts

and the combination
of quitting martial arts

and going back
to my old eating habits

led me to go back up
to my highest weight plus

because I'm over
600 pounds now,

and I have never been
this big at any time

in the past
43 years of my life.

And it makes me really sad

because there's so much
I wanted to be able to do

with my wife and sons,

but life is pretty much
this couch,

so I can either watch TV
with them,

play video games, or eat,

those are my options.

And most of the time,
it's just eat.

[Kimberly]
How much garlic bread

would you like, Sweetheart,
like three or four?

Just bring the plates,
we'll put them on the ottoman.

-[Kimberly] Okay.
-[Michael] No.

Because that way
you can just pick them up.

All right.

[Michael] I'm always eating.

Even when I get so full

my belly feels swollen
to the point

that the scars
on my stomach hurt

from the pressure.

You want some
parmesan cheese, buddy?

[Xander] I do indeed.

[Michael]
I still don't want to stop

because of how food
makes me feel.

But I've traded that feeling

for everything else
in my life,

you know,
I can't go out now

because I've developed a fear
of being around people

that I can't go outside
my front door

because of the agoraphobia.

I can't go in the stores.

I don't want people
to see me.

And the worst part
about that

isn't what it's doing
to my life,

it's how it would affects
my family's life

and especially with my kids

because I can't take
my kids outside.

We don't play outside,

we play video games,
you know?

We eat food, you know?

And my kids...
my kids love me, you know?

But I know... I know
I'm an embarrassment.

I won't go
to school functions.

I don't want people
to see

what their dad looks like

because that just makes them
a target.

[Kimberly]
Michael just...

He's an amazing person

but he has a tendency

to look at the negative

and he doesn't believe
in himself

and he doesn't love himself.

And I wish
he could see through my eyes

because I can see
how amazing he is,

that he's a glowing star,

and I want him one day
to see that.

[Michael]
But I hate hiding,

I hate being ashamed,

and I hate how I'm trapped.

I am extremely trapped

both in my body
and in my mind.

I can't go outside,
it's like house arrest.

And I feel like
I've committed a crime

by getting foods that I know

I have no business eating.

And I hate it that this is
what my life has become.

I hate myself.

I have a body
that's 600 pounds

and as much as I've tried
to fix it over the years,

as many diets,
every diet I've ever been on

have all failed miserably.

[Kimberly] Having
to watch him gaining weight,

it's just heartbreaking

because there's nothing
I can do where anyone else.

If Michael doesn't change
his eating habits,

you know,
we will lose him, you know,

and so we're praying
that he can do it

because he is our light.

And I don't wanna lose him.

I can't even imagine.

[Michael] I know
I'm on a limited schedule.

Every night I go to sleep

thinking if I die
in my sleep,

my wife is gonna wake up

and have 600 pounds

of dead meat
next to her,

so I know
I have to change now.

Because this
is a ticking time bomb

just waiting to take my life.

Then once I cross that line

where my body can't go on,
then that will be it,

I won't make it, and then
I'll lose everything,

and I can't let that happen.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] Today I'm gonna
go try to see Dr. Now.

And I am not
looking forward to it,

because I don't like
going out in public.

But I need to do this,

so I'm gonna try
and go get in the car

and drive
to Dr. Now's clinic,

and Kim is gonna go with me.

So we have someone
who's gonna watch the boys

for a little while,
but we should be back later

on this evening because
it's only about a 45-minute

drive or so.

It's time to go,

-I wish it wasn't.
-You ready, baby?

-[Michael] Yeah.
-[Kimberly] Okay.

[Michael] Let me get
my shoes on.

But I want help
so I'm gonna do this.

I just hope I can do this,

and it's not too overwhelming
for me when I get out there,

but Dr. Now says
he can help me.

Part of me is worried
that he's gonna say

-I'm too far gone.
-You got your hat?

Yeah, you got the coffee?

I'm just trying
to keep my expectations low.

So if that happens,
I don't get let down,

but I guess I'll just have
to see how it goes.

[Kimberly] Today I'm going
with Michael

to see Dr. Now

and I'm hoping
that my husband

will get his life back,

but it's gonna be up to him,

because as soon
as Michael thinks

that something won't work,
he'll stop.

But he needs to know
that this is his chance,

and if he doesn't take it,

he's not gonna
be here anymore.

Yeah. Yeah.

This is now or never.

I'm just gonna try and focus

on how this is a chance
for me to save my life,

and by doing this,

I'll hopefully be able
to lose the weight

and change my life.

You stupid door.

The door get you?

Yeah.

Do you have that?

I told Kim
that I wanna try and drive.

I know it's been a while,

almost two years I think.

But I know
just having the wheel,

it will help me feel
a little bit more in control.

And just knowing
that I can turn around

if I need to,
I'm just gonna keep going,

as weird as it sounds.

So I'm just gonna try
to drive again

if I can handle
being behind the wheel.

[dramatic music playing]

-[Kimberly] Are you okay?
-[Michael] I am good.

Thank you.

Okay. That sound.

[Kimberly] I know.

So what are you thinking?

[Michael] Honestly,
there is...

there is nothing I can do,

I can't perform
the surgery on myself,

so I just... I wanna...
I need a yes or a no.

[Kimberly] Okay. So what
happens if it's a yes?

If Dr. Now says yes,
I'm gonna try.

It doesn't mean
he's gonna succeed.

I've been cut open before,

you know, with the promise
of waking up anew.

[Kimberly]
Just think positively.

[Michael]
Today is my judgment day.

That's really
the only way to put it.

This is it.

-I love you, baby.
-I love you.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael]
We're almost to Dr. Now's.

I'm just getting more
nervous as we get closer

because I'm scared
this isn't gonna go well,

and that I'm not gonna be
able to get the help I need.

It's my biggest fear

and it's overwhelming me
even more

now that we're almost there,

because I don't know
how I'm gonna handle it

if Dr. Now says
anything like that to me.

I just know
it won't be good

but I'm doing my best
to stay positive

as much as I can.

I think that you just need

to have the mind frame

that you need
to have right now, okay?

And if it is all
that you can do,

is just hope
for the next step,

then that's where
you need to be.

You now have hope
but just something

-you've never had.
-[Michael] You know,

every other doctor

has walked away from this,

why should I have
any more hope now?

Because this is his specialty.
He does...

-[Michael] It was...
-...hard cases.

[Michael] Well,
that's honestly...

-Okay, so that's hope. I...
-And that hope...

that hope gotten us here
right now today.

-[Kimberly] Yes.
-[Michael] Okay.

But when I turn
into this office,

there's no more hope,

the hope of getting here
is done, complete.

Now, it's the gamble.

Hope is dead
from this point on.

It never dies.
This is our baby step,

-okay, you're here.
-Mmm-hmm.

[Kimberly] So then we're
gonna go see the doctor

and he's going
to say yes.

[Michael] Okay.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] I hope Kim is right.

And I hope
this just goes well.

To add all the stress
that's on me right now,

the thought
of getting on the scale

and seeing my weight

isn't something
I really wanna do either.

So I'm worried
about that, too.

It's been a really long time
since I've gotten

my weight checked.

But I know I have
to be at or over 600.

There's no way
that I'm still not over

that benchmark.

You know, I've lost
a little weight

here and there trying diet

but I've always just
gained it right back.

And then my weight
goes back up,

my clothes get tighter,
so I know I'm gaining weight.

I just hope
I'm not gonna see something

like a 700 come up

or anything close to that.

If it's gotten to that point,

it's gonna be
really hard for me

to see and accept.

Whatever the number is
or how high it's gotten.

-Are you okay?
-Oh.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

[Michael] I know
I only have myself to blame

but I'm trying
to change that now

because I'm here
to lose weight

and get to a better place,

and get that number down
to where it should be.

Michael?

-[Michael] How are you today?
-[woman] Boy, good.

[Michael] But I'm only
gonna be able to do that

if I get the help
that I've come here for.

And if I don't,

then I'll have
nothing left really.

-Go ahead.
-Thank you.

Because I'll have
no chance for a future.

You said I'm not holding
the wall or anything.

So my whole life
is depending on it.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] Me and my wife
were at Dr. Now's

trying to get his help
to lose weight.

And I'm about to find out
how much help I actually need

when the number
on that scale comes up.

Hold on, no problem.

[Michael] I'm just hoping
it's not up to anything

like the 700s

because that
will devastate me

if I see that.

[chuckles]

I'm both relieved and upset

because my weight
is not as high

as I was afraid it could be,

but that's still
a horrible number.

You know, no human person
should be at that weight,

but that's what
I have to change.

And that's what I'm gonna
change if Dr. Now is willing

to give me a chance
and take me on as a patient.

This is the only hope
I have left.

No.

Don't cry for me today, Kim.

[knocks on door]

[Michael] Come in.

-Hello.
-[Michael] Hello.

-How you all doing?
-[Michael] Good.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] I'm
Dr. Nowzaradan and you're...

-[Michael] Michael Blair.
-Michael Blair,

and this young lady is?

-This is my wife, Kimberly.
-Well, nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.
-So where are you coming from?

-[Michael] Conroe.
-[Kimberly] Yeah.

Conroe, Texas.

All right.

So, Michael,

-you're over 600 pounds, huh?
-Mmm-hmm.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
And you're here

to lose weight, right?

-[Michael] Yes, sir.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.

So what led you to come here

to get help with that today?

Last chance,

I've tried to contact doctors,

I've contacted
numerous surgeons

because I've got
extensive scar tissue

from my emergency
appendectomy,

and no surgeon wants to cut in

because they say
that there's no hope.

How much you weight
when you had that...

-[Michael] 380.
-Huh?

I was 380 pounds.

-[Dr. Nowzaradan] 380 pounds?
-[Michael] Mmm-hmm.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay.
So it looked like you have

quite a situation.

And this thing
happened to you,

do you have a goal
at this point?

The only goal I have left

is to find a surgeon

that is willing and able

to cut through my scar tissue

and actually perform
the surgery.

Because I've tried
every diet out there,

nothing has worked.

And so, what seems to be
the biggest challenge

with your eating habit?

It's the amount
that it takes to sate me.

It's like I can't just have...

I can't just have
one chicken breast.

And, you know, it's like,
if I have a bowl of rice,

my bowl of rice can be two
or three cups

of rice at a time.

So it's just empty carbs,
or it will be a pasta,

it will be a pound of pasta.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay.
You say you eat healthy

but you just eat
too much of it,

then why can't you
stop eating?

I don't know.

That's the question.

I can't stop because I...

At some point, I
think maybe it became

a defense mechanism
because I was...

I was so abused
and tortured as a child

just in society.

It's... I can't even, like...

It's hard for me to go out.

Like, I have agoraphobia.

So it's extremely hard for me
to be out in public

because I don't
really like people.

I hate society.

So what... At what age,

did you decide that?

I realized
I didn't like people

when I was about
eight or nine.

Once I realized that

I was always
gonna be picked on.

So at any point,
did you have any therapy

-or see any...
-I've had lots of therapy.

So with all these things,

not liking people,

having difficulty in it,

how do... Where do you get
such a supporting wife,

-how did you find that?
-[Kimberly] I met him...

[laughs]

Funny, humor,

I can't hide my...

I can hide my pain
through humor.

But could it be
that you don't give

too much appreciation
for people to know you,

and if they know you
maybe they like you?

Absolutely, I...
I've been hurt

so many times by people
that I don't want people

to get to know me.

So if you were today
220 pounds,

do you think
your outlook will...

Going with other people
would change?

[Michael] Oh, hundred percent.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] So the issue
is the perspective

you're adapting on things,

where you make excuses
and blame everyone

for the reason

you don't wanna be
around them,

but this all comes out

to your weight
being the issue.

So do you think you can make

some changes
in your eating habit?

Are you motivated to do that?

[Michael] I am 100% motivated.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
Well, you know,

you're gonna have to make
some changes.

[Michael] Done. Done and done.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
And bite the bullet

and control your eating habit

-and this is gonna be...
-[Michael] Done.

...something that
you're gonna have to do

-to get through that point.
-Done and done.

-Okay.
-[Michael] You know.

Well, and here's what
I want you to do.

I'm gonna set you
to see a therapist

and see if they can help you

get some of developed
anxiety that you have down

because you have built
so many baggage

-in your life at this point...
-Mmm-hmm.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
...and you become

so very opinionated
about where you are

and how the world is.

Maybe we can change that,

-okay?
-I hope.

So this is gonna be something

-that's important to do.
-Okay.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Because
your perspective on things

needs to improve
for you to have any chance

to do this for the long run,

but we've got a lot
of work to do

to get to the point
that would be even feasible

to try and see
there is a possibility

to do any kind
of surgery on you.

So the first thing
is going to be

that you need to start
losing weight now.

So we're gonna try
to change your eating habit

and see if we can get
some discipline

in what you're eating

and try to get
your weight down,

and then I'm gonna set you up
to have some test

and do endoscopy
and weight-loss surgery,

but you have a food comfort.

So everything that you see

that is dark in front of you

when you eat can get

-a little bit better.
-Yeah.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
So the food comfort

is going to be an issue

because even if we do
weight-loss surgery,

how are you gonna deal
with those anxiety?

-Yeah.
-If you don't learn to deal

with that in a healthy way,

you still go back to food
and undo the surgery,

it will be pointless
in the long run.

And that's gonna be
a significant issue

that we need to work out,

-okay?
-[Kimberly] Yes.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
So they're gonna do

some blood test on you today,

but I'm gonna set you up
to have some more tests

done on your heart,
and your lung,

and examine your scar tissue,

and what's going on
in your abdomen,

and see what is the ability
for you to have any kind

-of surgery down the road.
-Okay.

But this is something
that I want you to focus

on changing your life
at this point.

You're gonna have to try hard,

and follow the instruction,

and then, be more proactive
for your health.

-[Kimberly] Yes.
-And this is the only way

we can get you out
of this situation.

-Yes.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay?

-Okay.
-And I had gastric bypass

-15 years ago. And...
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] Mmm-hmm.

...so, I will be
whatever you need

support-wise for him.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
Well, that's good. But so far,

whatever his environment is,

he's still able
to get what he wants

and overeat, so that's
unhealthy support system

-we need to change.
-Okay.

So the diet is gonna...
Let me demand to eat in a day,

to 1,200 calories.
Be the focus on protein

and avoiding almost all carbs.

-Okay.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] And I want

your focus to be

losing as much weight

as you can right now

and getting your stamina.

But I'm not gonna give you
a specific goal

until we
do the endoscopy, okay?

-Okay.
-Right.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
But all those thing

is gonna be all up to you
at this point.

I want you to forget about

what the past is
and look forward to future.

So this is a new day.

You're gonna start
a new way of eating,

a new year for exercising,
and changing everything.

-You got a lot of work to do.
-Yeah.

We're willing to do it.

You tell us what to do
and we'll do it.

And so, I'm gonna bring you
some instruction

that I mentioned, then,
we'll setup an appointment

-for you to go to therapy.
-Okay.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] So we'll just
try to change the course

of the life
that you have right now.

-[both] Yeah.
-Okay. So...

If he's able to change that,

will you think...

I mean, is it possible,
do you think,

to attempt the surgery,
if all the test say?

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
From what Michael said,

most likely we're gonna face
a lot of scar tissue

and a lot of issues.

So we have to look
at that tissue first

to see what's possible.

And if weight-loss surgery
can be done or not. So

if everything looks good

and he loses weight,

we can try doing the surgery
on him.

-Okay?
-Okay.

We got you a yes.
It's possible.

But this is all gonna be...

-Yeah.
-...depending if it's safe

-to have surgery.
-[Michael] Yeah.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay?
But you have to bite

the bullet
and do the hard work.

All right. Done and done.

At the meantime, I'm gonna see

if we can draw some blood.

I'll give you some instruction

-about your diet and exercise.
-Okay.

All right. Let me see
if we can draw

some blood on you.

[Kimberly] Thank you.

Okay. All right. I'll be back.

-[Kimberly] Okay, doc.
-Thank you.

[door closes]

[Dr. Nowzaradan] We obviously
have a lot of issues

we need to address
with Michael

to get him on the right track
with his overall health

especially with his mentality
and perspective.

He seem to have a lot
of negative feelings

on things and people
that is leading

to a lot of anxiety with him.

So starting him going
to psychotherapy right now

will be important to help him

start to work on that.

But the big question
seems to be

what the situation
is in his abdomen

with the scar tissue
that prevented

his previous attempt
to have weight-loss surgery.

So we need to run some tests
to determine that

because if weight-loss
surgery

isn't a possibility for him,

we'll have to adopt a program

and [indistinct] approach
giving Michael

the tools he needs
to get healthy

because it's very important

he start to lose
a lot of weight

before he develops
any more health issues.

[dramatic music playing]

Honey, you got
my right, though.

-Right.
-[grunts]

[Kimberly] Oh, okay.

[Michael] I'm here
at the therapist's place.

Dr. Now wanted me
to start therapy

and I'm all for it.

Because I think I can
greatly benefit from it.

And I'm hoping this session
will be a new start for me.

-Thank you.
-[Dr. Paradise] Hi there.
I'm Dr. Paradise.

-Come on here, guys.
-Hi, nice to meet you.

[Dr. Paradise]
Nice to meet you. Guess,

you can have a seat
right over there.

[Michael]
But I'm a little nervous
to talk to somebody new,

so I want Kim
in the session with me.

Right here. Okay.

Baby. [sighs]

Better?

I mean, I... Oh.

Careful.

[sighs]

-So welcome.
-[Michael] Thank you.

[Dr. Paradise] So,
Michael and Kim. So, Michael,

tell me a little bit
about yourself.

Where would you...

That's a hard question.
I really don't know...

[Dr. Paradise]
The basic such as like

what was your childhood like,
any major experiences?

[Michael] Major experiences
when I was...

My mom wanted me to always
be a part of something.

-[Dr. Paradise] Okay.
-She put me

into a camping troop.

-You know, boy-type stuff.
-[Dr. Paradise] Okay.

[Michael]
So, you know, we went on

a weekend camping trip.

Camp leader liked
to indulge in young boys.

-Like to have his kid naked...
-Wow.

and go down waterfalls,
and wrestle each other

-and wrestle him, and...
-How old were you?

-About 10 or 11.
-[Dr. Paradise] What effect

do you think that had on you
going through that?

That... I think
that's when I started

really hating people
in general.

[Dr. Paradise] But he sort of
made you suspicious of...

Every type of person,
every adult,

everyone
who could have authority.

I never wanted to do any event

-with other children.
-[Kimberly] I understand.

I never... I never wanted
to be away from my home.

So it trapped you?

Basically he... Yes.

His action
erected a cage around me

that I can't escape from.

-You're trapped now?
-[Michael] Yeah.

I'm still trapped because
I don't like going out.

Like, I'll go out
to drive Kim to a store,

but I don't go in stores

because I don't like people.

[Dr. Paradise] So stores
are a big deal for you?

-You don't like them?
-No.

[Dr. Paradise] So can you
think of a safe store for you?

Where's the store that you
would feel comfortable?

Somewhere where there wasn't
a lot of people.

[Dr. Paradise] Okay.
But would it be a store

that had something
that you like

or interested in, or...

-I would have... Yeah.
-[Dr. Paradise] Okay.

Like probably anything
where I could get

some spiritual supplies.

Okay. Yeah.

So like something
with the crystals

-or something like that?
-Exactly.

And getting you
out of the house

is gonna be slow

-incremental steps.
-Yeah.

[Dr. Paradise] So I wanna find
a way for you

to communicate
with that group later.

-He's dead now.
-[Dr. Paradise] Okay.

So you can't talk
to him directly.

It might be something
like a letter

and the letter might say
something like,

"You know,
you've kept me down too long

-and I'm done with that."
-Mmm-hmm.

Because that guy
can't hurt you anymore.

-[both] Mmm-hmm.
-[Dr. Paradise] He's gone,

-right?
-Mmm-hmm.

And then, what do you do
with that letter?

-Burn it?
-[Dr. Paradise] And the act

of burning it
is symbolic, right?

It's about giving you power

-over the things...
-Yeah.

...that had power
over you previously, right?

Claim your power, right?

-Mmm-hmm.
-[Dr. Paradise] Okay.

Great to meet you, guys.

Thanks for coming in.

Have a safe drive
back up there.

-Okay.
-Okay. Thank you so much.

I'm looking forward
to this much.

-Me first, me first.
-Yes, yes.

[Dr. Paradise] I really
enjoyed meeting Michael.

He's super smart.

And I think that that's gonna
be an asset to him.

But I think, unfortunately,

he's used his intelligence

to create a lot of barriers

to his current function.

He can convince anybody
why he shouldn't be able

to do something
including himself

and that's potentially
dangerous for him.

I don't want him
being smart enough

to convince everyone to have
low expectations of him.

I think that he's holding on
to a lot of stuff

that's keeping him
from moving forward

in his future.

And one of his big tasks

is gonna be to let go
of some of that.

[Michael] I think this helped
me a whole lot, you know.

I think it went great.

It was emotional,
but I needed this.

And I really like
Dr. Paradise.

I think he had
some great insight for me.

He's given me
some great direction

and things to do to help me
work on some issues.

So I'm gonna do them
as soon as I'm able.

But this was a good start.

And I really think
it's gonna help me a lot.

You know, it won't be easy.

But I'm ready to do this

because I'm ready
to turn my life around.

[dramatic music playing]

Can you grab my chair, please?

After seeing Dr. Now
and Dr. Paradise,

I was feeling
really good about things

and I'm ready to make
some big changes in my life.

And to get rid of the things

that have been
holding me back

and dragging me down.

And so, I decided
to do a purge today

where I take all the bad food
in this house

and burn it down.

You know, doing that
is long overdue,

so I am ready for this purge.

-Can I throw something else?
-[Michael] Of course.

Will you help me in that?

[Kimberly]
You can dump that up.

Is that plastic?

You can't put the plastic in.

Pull them out and burn them.

[Kimberly] It's okay.

[Liam] You should throw
this one away, dad.

[dramatic music playing]

[panting]

It's hard watching
some of these food burn

instead of, you know,
using it.

It's like watching
my comfort just disintegrate.

But now it forces me
to find other ways

to get that comfort

because it can't be
food anymore.

Not if I wanna live.

And that's what I want
above all else.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna go
to the hospital

and Dr. Now is gonna do
my endoscopy.

And the test he needs to see

if it's even possible
for me to have

weight-loss surgery.

Because I'm gonna find out
if I have a future or not.

And if the answer
is that nothing can be done

and Dr. Now tells me that,

then it's gonna
devastate me completely

because this is my last
and final hope.

It's all burning away.

All right.

And the fire will rise again.

There's always smoke
before fire.

[Kimberly] Mmm-hmm.

We got this, okay?

Mmm-hmm.

So what kind of salad
are you thinking for dinner?

I'll be there
in a minute, okay?

[Kimberly] Okay.

-[dramatic music playing]
-[birds chirping]

[engine revving]

[Michael] I'm here
at the hospital

for my endoscopy and testing

to see if weight-loss surgery

is possible for me.

And I'm extremely nervous.

I'm usually numb,
so I don't get my hopes up.

But I know this,

right here, right now

is my last and only chance
of having a life,

of having a future.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Today we are
going to do an endoscopy

on Michael, to try
and determine

if weight loss surgery
is even a possibility for him.

So, we're putting
a small camera

down into his stomach

to see how everything looks,

and determine
if there'll be any issues

that would prevent us
from performing the surgery

like gastric sleeve
or gastric bypass on him.

Normally,
this wouldn't be done

until the patient
qualified for surgery,

but in Michael's case,
I have concerns

about some
of his medical history

since he was considered
for weight loss surgery

when he wasn't near 300,
but ultimately denied

because of excessive
scar tissue in his abdomen

preventing him.

[door opens]

-Hey, Michael.
-[Michael] Hello.

How are you today?

Good. A little anxious,

more so than normal, but good.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.

So, today, we're gonna go
look down your stomach...

-Okay.
-...and see how things are,

and see if there is
any... Even possible things

to consider any kind
of weight loss surgery.

But the main concern is that

you have the scar tissue,
um, from old surgery.

Yeah.

And in the upper abdomen,

-you still have that hernia.
-Yeah.

So, we may have
to get that treated

because I can feel your bowel
is under the skin right here.

Uh, normally,
we do this, um, endoscopy

when your body is approved
for a surgery

-but in your case...
-Yeah.

...we're gonna do it now

-and see how the things are.
-Okay.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] And what
potential we got there, okay?

-All right.
-All right.

So, we'll go ahead
and do that in a few minutes.

-Okay.
-And then I'll let you know

-what are the next step.
-Great.

Thanks so much doctor,
I appreciate it.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.

[dramatic music playing]

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
With Michael's scar tissue,

and also,
I have some concerns

about what looks to be
a severe hernia,

um, in Michael's abdomen,

because that maybe
an issue preventing

the possibility of weight
loss surgery he wants.

So, if any of those issues
are present to the degree

that weight loss surgery
isn't an option for Michael,

then there is no point

putting him on a program
to work toward that.

And we will need to come out

with a different plan for him

to get his weight
under control,

but that all depends on

what we learn
from this endoscopy.

[man] So, buddy, good night.

We'll take good care
of you, okay?

-Okay.
-[man] Mmm-hmm.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.
Can you turn off the light?

Okay.

[machine beeping]

[Dr. Nowzaradan] And he does
have a Hiatal hernia.

[machine beeping]

[suspenseful music playing]

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Well, a lot
of bowel in his esophagus

[indistinct]
it could have been unusual.

That may indicate
that scar tissue down the road

blocking the bowel.

That's the big stomach.

[suspenseful music playing]

[machine beeping]

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay.

So, we can remove
the endoscope.

All right. Yeah, we're done.

The light.

[man] Michael, we're all done.

[dramatic music playing]

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
Michael looks to have

a very complicated situation
in his abdomen.

It looks like he does have

a significant
amount of scar tissue

that is going to be an issue

if we attempted to do
weight loss surgery on him,

because it will prevent us

from maneuvering
the instruments

how we need and from making
certain decisions internally

that will be required
for the operation.

And Michael also
has a severe hernia,

where his stomach muscles
are torn,

and that with the scar tissue
is going to prevent us

from performing bypass
surgery on him.

But what we may be able to do

is attempt
a hernia repair on him,

and use that as
an opportunity to try remove

as much of the scar tissue
as we can [indistinct]

and then, if we are able
to do that,

see if all that is enough
to resolve the issues

that we can perform
bypass surgery on him.

But that's all theoretical

and we won't know
if that's the case

until we attempt to do that.

So the first step

towards any possible
solution for Michael

is going
to have to be for him

to potentially lose
at least 150 to 100 pounds,

before we will be able
to determine

if any sort of operation
in his abdomen area

is possible for him

and what options we may have
for him long term.

[dramatic music playing]

[doors open]

Hey, Michael,

-are you waking up?
-Hey, doc.

I am, I am.

All right.
Uh, so, the, uh, endoscopy,

um, uh, show you
have some, uh, hernia.

The bad news is that weight
loss surgery may not be enough

with all the scar tissue
and hernia.

Okay.

But the good news is
we may be able to fix that

and take the scar tissues down
and fix the hernia.

-Okay.
-And then once we do that,

then we will have opportunity

to make weight loss surgery
possible for you.

[Michael] Okay.

But before any of these
possible,

you need to loss
150 to 100 pounds,

to reduce the stress

that your weight is putting
in your whole system,

but also around
your abdomen, okay?

Because right now,

your body wouldn't be able
to handle on operation.

And we won't be able
to maneuver any instrument

in the abdomen safely
to do the operation.

Do you think you can do that?

Um, it's just... It's gonna
be hard, so...

Well, nobody said
this is gonna be easy.

-Uh, that's your... Yeah.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.

Yeah. I just... I just didn't
quite think that hard,

-that's all. It was...
-But if you wanna

change your life, you're gonna
have to work hard.

-Yeah.
-So, stick with the diet,

-increase your activity.
-Okay.

And let's set another
appointment with Dr. Paradise,

so you can keep working
on things with him.

[Michael] Okay.

You think you can do that?

I know I can.
I have no choice.

-I have to.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] Great.

We'll get through that.

All right. I appreciate it.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay?

So, I'm gonna deduct
your weight loss goal

to 100 pounds
for three months, okay?

I'll try.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
Okay. Work toward that goal,

and once you get that
150 pounds,

we'll check on you again

and see how close
you can get in

to where we can simply do
a hernia surgery.

Okay.

Okay. I'll see you soon,

and if you need anything,
give me a call.

I will. Thank you.

Have a good one, doc.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] For now,
we need to focus Michael

on adapting to healthier
eating habits

and to helping him sustain
that for as long as possible.

Without weight loss surgery,

that's going to be
very difficult for him

to do it for the long term,

but at this point,
we don't know

weight loss surgery will
ever be an option for him.

A herniated [indistinct]

and scar tissues removal
won't even be an option

until he loses
a good amount of weight.

So, we are going
to have to take

the more difficult road
with Michael,

to lose a significant
amount of weight

without weight loss surgery.

So, we will do what we can
to help him with that,

but if he continue to justify
his own healthy eating,

then there'll be no option
to help him in his situation

before he runs out of time.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael gasping]

Today I'm doing
another purge,

and I'm writing
the letter to Dr. Paradise

talking about therapy.

And then, to burn it

to let some of those things
from my childhood go.

I don't wanna keep letting
anything hold me back.

[dramatic music playing]

[gasps]

Uh, I wanna try
to do some homework.

[Kimberly] Okay.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[Kimberly]
Is it gonna disturb you

if I'm in here
for a little bit?

No, you're good.

[Kimberly]
I'm gonna [indistinct]

and then I'm gonna go
to my room take a nap.

Okay, baby.

I'm guessing this gonna take
a lot of emotion

and feelings

that honestly I don't think
I've ever fully processed.

I just kept it all inside
into myself

because I was scared

and I just had no one I felt
I could talk to about it.

[keyboard clacking]

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael sighing]

All right, babe.

I finished
what I wanted to get out.

And put in the letter.

But it has been emotionally
draining for me to do,

but I knew it would be.

You feel like staying out here
with this hatred?

You know what,

I think that you need someone
just to say it to.

[dramatic music playing]

Dear, you,

you know who you are.

You tormented me.

I had to beat you
whipping boy.

You found pleasure
in the bodies of young boys.

You forced me
to see the horror

this world is capable of.

You have done your damage
and left your mark.

Now, you are vanished
to the flames.

I will never forget you.

[dramatic music playing]

[both crying]

-Let's go in, baby.
-Okay.

Leave the chair
[indistinct] tomorrow.

[Michael] Yeah,
we'll get it all later.

[dramatic music playing]

[cheerful music playing]

[Michael] It's time
for my second appointment

with Dr. Now, and I'm nervous

because right now,
we had an arrangement

for someone to pick up
the kids after school

and to watch them for a bit,

so Kim could be here with me

because I don't like
going out in public much.

But that fell through,
so she had to do it.

So, my options are to skip it

or to try to get there
on my own.

And I don't think it would
be a good idea if I skip it,

so I'm gonna go out on my own

for the first time
in a long mile.

I can't even remember

the last time
I went out of my own.

It's just been a long time,
so I'm extremely nervous

and apprehensive
about doing this,

but I'm still going because
I desperately need help,

and I need the surgeries that
Dr. Now thinks he can do,

and I don't wanna miss
my chances of any of that up.

And so, the fear
of losing my chance

is outweighing
my agoraphobia.

So my one fear is helping me
defeat my other fear,

I guess,

or whatever it takes
to motivate me

to do this even without Kim.

My wife has always
been my biggest support

and when she's with me,

I know I have somebody
that has my back

no matter what.

So, doing this
without her is scary.

It's gonna be hard to hear
the news without her.

Good or bad,
whatever it is, you know.

If it's bad,
I need her support,

if it's good,
she's the only one

I can't wait
to share it with,

so this definitely
makes it harder.

But I'm a little proud
of myself for doing it.

This is a big step for me,
so that's something.

But all I really care
about right now

is if I hit that goal or not.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael]
I've almost made it there

and I'm just really nervous.

My big fear
is that I didn't hit my goal.

I know I've lost.

I know there's been
a progress.

I worked hard on myself

physically, mentally,
and emotionally

for just about
three solid months,

but in the end,
it comes down to my weight

and I don't know how much
progress I've made with that,

and if it's enough.

So, there's still that fear

because if it's not enough,
I'm afraid Dr. Now will think

that surgery will never be
a possibility for me,

that he's gonna think that
I'm not committed enough,

so the option for any surgery
is gonna be

taking off the table
and that's it,

it will turn out just like I
was afraid of with

from the beginning

with another shattered dream
on the floor for me.

But I'm trying to stay as
positive as I can right now

and not focus
on any negative.

But it's hard without Kim,
she helps center me.

So, I'm just struggling

because of how much
is gonna be determined

by the number on the scale,
you know.

It's impossible not
to fixate on it and worry

because either I hit my goal
and that's good,

because I can move ahead
in some fashion or I didn't.

And if I didn't,
there's a very real chance

that I'm gonna be told
that it'll never happen.

Michael.

[Michael] That I'm not
getting surgery

because it will be
physically impossible.

How are you today?

So, it feels like every single
thing in my life,

my whole life
is on the poker table.

And whether I keep it or not

depends on the hand of
the scale about to deal me.

[woman] Whenever you're ready.

[Michael]
And I'm just terrified

that I could be
about to lose everything.

[calming music playing]

[Michael] I'm at Dr. Now's
for my second appointment,

to see if I've gotten
on my goal

and keep moving forward,

or to see if I didn't
and I'm not.

I was at 609 last time

and Dr. Now told me
to lose a hundred pounds

over the last three months.

So, I need to be down
to 509 today.

That's progress.

It's good progress

but not a hundred pounds
of progress.

I know it's not from lack
of effort

because I'm really trying.

Kim would say that, too,
if she was here

because she sees me pushing
myself to stick to the diet

and to do all the things
I need to do.

And she's right there
with me doing it, too.

So I was hoping it was more

but it's still
a lot of weight loss.

But I'm still worried

because I don't know
if it's enough or not,

and what Dr. Now's view
is gonna be

about my chances of moving
ahead now with this.

[dramatic music playing]

Hi, Michael,
how are you doing?

[Michael] Good, really good.

So, where is your wife today?

She is actually home
with the kids

and I'm trying
to be more independent

and go out without her.

That's good progress,
don't you think?

I'm feeling good about it,
feeling good.

All right. That's good.

You made good progress
with your weight loss, too.

Yeah, I've been following
your diet.

I've been tempted to cheat,
but I haven't.

I've stayed on it,
straight and narrow,

been doing my exercises,

so I'm feeling good,
feeling strong.

Okay. Uh, but you have to
work hard

because, uh, you know,
you should've lost

more than 61 pound
in three months.

Uh, that's about
the 20 pound mark.

Yeah.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] And if
you cut by to 1200 calories,

then you would have lost
almost four times of that.

Okay.

So you're making some
good changes,

but you need to do more
to cut back on your portions.

[Michael] Yeah.
I got it, I understand.

So, I'm only gonna have
1200 calories?

All right. That's great.

And do you have any question?

Okay. So, bottom line,

what do I have to do
to get the surgery?

If you get close to losing
at least 150 pounds overall,

then we can take it there

and see if there is enough
pressure

off your abdomen
to do any surgery.

So, that's a goal for you.

I'll give you another
three months

to lose, uh, 90 pounds

but it's gonna get even harder
the longer you try to do this.

So it's important
you stay focus.

Yeah. Because the more
weight I lose,

the harder it is
to get off weight.

I got you. Okay.

-So ninety in three, right?
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] Yes.

All right, Michael,
any other questions?

No, I'm good.

Okay.
So, we're gonna schedule you.

You keep going to therapy.

Did you enjoy that
the last time?

Yeah. Thank you so much

for getting me
in contact with Dr. Paradise.

It's been tremendous.

So, thank you so much

for getting me
in contact with him.

Okay. So keep doing that
and working on things.

And if you need anything
before the next appointment,

-give me a call.
-Okay.

All right. You take care.

-Thank you, doctor.
-All right.

-Have a great day.
-You, too.

I'm happy to see some
improvement with Michael

and to hear that
he thinks therapy

is helping him out
[indistinct].

But his progress so far

is just a drop in a bucket
of what he needs to do.

So, there is still a lot
of work ahead for Michael.

And the big question is
if he's gonna be able

to stick with it over
the period of time he needs.

Because losing
his [indistinct] weight loss

surgery is only gonna
increase the likelihood

he's gonna have a weight
[indistinct] at some point

and go off the rest.

But hopefully,
continuing with therapy

helps him to look ahead.

But Michael has
still have long road ahead

and the outcome is ultimately
still all up to him

and the choices he makes.

So only time will tell.

[Michael] All in all,

I'm feeling good
about how it went.

It could've gone better

but it could've gone
a lot worse.

So, I was very worried
for a moment

about which direction
it was gonna take.

But I'm happy
that Dr. Now was pleased

and I was very relieved
when he said

some of the encouraging
things that he did.

And I know Kim is gonna be
happy to hear that, too,

when I share it with her,
you know.

I wish my goal for next time
was still as big,

and all I have to do
is go back

and try to improve
on what I did last time.

And I think I can do that.

And so that's what
I'm gonna do.

[dramatic music playing]

[Kimberly] What's the worst
that can happen

with agoraphobia, though?

[Michael]
The worst that can happen

is this can be completely
counterproductive.

-Okay.
-And actually push me farther

away from wanting to leave
the house at all.

Do you think
that's really a reality?

[Michael] Yeah, I do,

I do. I do.

[Kimberly] And you're allowed
to feel that way.

I'm not trying
to disconnect...

[Michael] No, you are.
You're telling me, you're...

[Kimberly] No.
[Michael] Again, I love

that you're always perking,
always happy,

and always telling me
what's gonna be best for me

but [bleep] happens.

-It goes sideways.
-So it sounds like right now

you're spiraling a little bit.

[Michael]
I'm completely spiraling.

-Okay.
-[Michael] So, let's just...

So you need me to be quiet
for just a little bit.

-[Michael] Please, please.
-[Kimberly] Okay.

I need you to breathe, though,

because you're starting
to panic, Michael.

-Here.
-Uh-uh.

[Kimberly]
Do you need me to drive?

-[Michael] Nope.
-[Kimberly] Okay.

[Michael] You know
I can't fit right in the car

-anywhere else but here.
-[Kimberly] Oh, you can fit.

I need you to breathe
and ground yourself for me.

[Michael] Right now,
Kim and I are trying

to find a crystal shop,
working on my agoraphobia,

my fear of going out
and being around people.

This isn't easy.

And right now,
I'm not even sure

I'm gonna be able
to go through with it.

-[Kimberly] Oh, it's cute.
-[Michael] Yeah.

[Kimberly]
Look how cute that is.

-[Michael] I know.
-[Kimberly] Okay.

Take all the time you need.

When you're ready, we'll go.

-[Michael] Can you go first?
-[Kimberly] Yes, I sure can.

-Good evening.
-[man] Good evening.

-[Kimberly] How are you today?
-[man] Very good, yourself?

[Kimberly]
Oh, I'm wonderful, thank you.

[dramatic music playing]

[man] Horse crystals are made
in Conroe in the mid-70s.

[Kimberly] Really?

They supply the entire world
for a horse crystal power

-for CB Radios.
-Right here?

-In Conroe, yeah.
-It's awesome.

[man] I built my shop
from whatever I can

[indistinct] as cheaply
as possible.

[Kimberly]
That sounds like familiar.

I'm gonna leave these up here
for you.

[Kimberly] Okay.
Those are the ones you want?

-Yeah.
-[Kimberly] Well, I'll lock it

-for you, baby.
-[Michael] Thank you.

Thank you so much, sir.

[Kimberly]
Thank you. Yes.

I'm proud of you, Michael.

[Michael] I hear you.
Thank you.

I'm so proud I did that.

It's been 15 years since he's
been in public like this.

[Michael]
But I'm also glad it's over.

But I'll keep doing
stuff like this

and taking all the steps
I need,

and hopefully,
the next time I go back

to Dr. Now, it will pay off.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] Kim and I
are back at Dr. Now's

for my next appointment

and to find out
if I made the progress

I was supposed to make.

But I am nervous.

I've been struggling a lot
and that led me take

an extra month
coming back here.

Dr. Now gave me
a three-month goal

and I took four because

it's gotten a lot harder
to do this,

so I just wanted
a little more time

to lose more.

Michael.

[Michael]
And to get closer to my goal

but I don't even know
if it helped

or was it enough
to get me there.

I know I'm trying hard.

As hard as I can.

But all I can say
is it's just getting harder

and harder to do this.

So, I'm just hoping
and praying that

I'm at least in the ballpark
of where I need.

Because if I'm not,
I don't know how much

of a grace period Dr. Now
is gonna give me.

Yeah.

It's okay.
You got this, okay?

-Yeah.
-It's okay.

[Michael] Not much to say,
other than I'm disappointed,

very disappointed
because I didn't lose more.

It's still a loss
and that's good.

Over all,
that's about a hundred pounds

I've taken off my body.

So, maybe,
Dr. Now will see the total

and even consider
moving me ahead

with the testing.

I just thought the progress
I was gonna have today

would be better.

So, I'm upset
and I'm worried

about what Dr. Now
is ultimately gonna tell me.

-Hello. How y'all doing?
-[Kimberly] All good.

Good.

Uh, Michael, so you took
four months this time

but lost half of what
you did the first time.

So what's going on?

[Michael] I think it's just
like you said, Dr. Now,

you know,
the more weight you lose

the harder it is to lose,

portion control
is still a problem.

I got lots of excuses
but it doesn't matter.

Yeah.
Well, it's understandable.

That's getting harder for you
over this amount of time.

But the fact is still that
we have to lose enough weight

to take the pressure
off your abdomen,

so the surgery
would be possible.

So you don't think
a hundred pounds

is close enough
to do the endoscopy?

-No.
-Okay.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] You need
to get closer to losing

hundred fifty pound
before we're ready to do that.

Maybe next time,
if you stick with it

-and get back on track, okay?
-Mmm-hmm.

You're still doing therapy
and sticking with it?

One hundred percent.

I'm gonna keep working
on my perspective

in improving myself.

It's just been harder
the past few months

but I'm trying
and I'm not giving up.

I mean, I've lost
about a hundred pounds,

so I'm just gonna keep working
on it

and try to do better,

until you tell me I'm done
and I'm ready for surgery.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay. Great.

So, all we can do
at the end of today

is try harder and work on it,
okay?

-That's what I'm gonna do.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.

So, we'll make sure your next
therapy appointment is set.

So you have that
and I want you to do

is the same goal as last time,
90 pounds.

But I'll give you
up to four months to do that.

But if you think
you have done that sooner,

then give me a call
to set up your appointment

and we'll do it then.
Sounds good?

[Michael] Okay, doctor.
Thank you.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] Just pick up
the pace so you'll lose

more than 10 pounds
a month, okay?

Hundred pounds is good
but you gotta keep going.

-I will, Dr. Now.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay.

So you both keep at it,
work hard.

And if you do need anything,
give me a call.

-We will.
-See you all later.

[Kimberly] All right.
Have a good day.

All right. Bye now.

-Bye.
-Bye.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
It is certainly concerning

to see the trend
with Michael's

weight loss slowing.

He's gonna have to work harder
if he want to succeed at this,

because losing more weight
is the only option

he has to move forward.

So, this next few months
are a crucial moment for him

because if this pattern
continues with him,

then he's gonna stop losing
and start gaining again,

and once that happens,

we likely won't be able
to get him back on track.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] I've been feeling
good about my recent progress

and how well I'm doing,
you know.

I feel like
I've been doing better

over these last couple
of months.

Kim and I have gone out

five more times
to public places.

That's huge, you know.

So, I'm making progress
of my agoraphobia,

and with that progress,

I'm starting to feel some
of my confidence come back,

just a little, not a lot.

But a little is just enough
to make me think

I can get back
to something I love,

you know, my martial arts.

[Michael panting]

-How you doing?
-[Michael] Good.

-And you're?
-Michael.

Michael.
Nice to meet you, Michael.

-Nice to meet you.
-Okay. You had, uh,

-a little training before.
-Yes.

[Rick]
That's terrific, super.

How long has it been
since you trained?

-Twenty years.
-[Rick] Twenty years.

Okay. Well,
believe it or not

still gonna be some back
in there,

so let's go on the mat

and we'll get you going
a little bit

and you're gonna get
to where you wanna get.

Okay.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] I'm scared
this isn't gonna go well.

Because I'm feeling good
about myself right now.

I don't wanna do anything
to mess that up.

But I'm pushing pass
all those fears in my head

and the negativity.

And I'm gonna try to just
focus on the positive.

And that I can even try
to do this right now.

And that alone
is amazing to me.

And to have a chance
to get back to martial arts

and have that discipline
in my life

that I have lacked
for a way too long

is a huge thing for me
that I want,

and I'm thankful for it.

My goal is to be able
to push myself

to drill for a minute,
at least,

just to start again.

[panting]

This is hard.

I'm exhausted
but I'm exhilarated

by that exhaustion
and that it pushes me

to go on for five
or ten more seconds.

The final goal for me

is getting to that minute
right now.

And I have to do it,
little by little.

I take a break,
I re-center myself.

I gain my composure,
I gain my breath,

and I go back at it.

And even if it's only
for a few seconds,

each time I know
I'm gonna get better.

I know I'm gonna do more
each time I try it.

I just have to keep at it

and not allow myself
to fall back.

[Rick] Looking pretty good
there, Mr. Michael.

[sighs] Thank you.

I was watching you
through the window.

You were doing some nice...
Good reach hands,

nice palm heal strikes.

When you're punching,

your wrist is nice
and straight

like it's supposed to be.

And if sitting down
is what you need to do then...

-[Michael] Yeah.
-...that's what you do, okay.

Okay. But you got
good reach hand,

you're already spiking
in there

with those two big knuckles,
coming in with reach hands,

palm strike,
palm strikes in there.

That's a lot of energy.

One of the most important
things in martial arts

is that how you think
is going to determine

whether you're successful

at whatever it is
that you're doing.

And physically now,

you get to where
you wanna get,

you have to do it
in little pieces.

When are you gonna
get started?

How about... How about some
15 seconds shots right now?

And time is starting.
Go.

[Michael] I feel great.
I'm really happy I did this.

You know,
I pushed myself today

to take this leap and get out
of my comfort zone,

and get back to martial arts

because stepping on
to the mat

again after 20 years

of not being on the mat
was extremely cathartic.

All right. Let's see
what's gonna happen

for this 60 seconds.

Don't forget,
take those breaks in there

-and pace yourself, ready?
-Ready.

And...

begin.

That's it.

[Michael]
This has encouraged me,

given me a fire
to work even harder.

And to keep doing this
because martial arts

is a place where I find peace.

I find balance,
I find my center,

and it's where I need to be
because marital arts

is gonna help me
find myself again.

I felt like a husk
of a person for too long.

And this will help me
build my body

and inner self back.

...two, one, time.

Okay.
Whenever you're ready,

we're ready for you,
all right?

-All right.
-There you are.

-Here's your homework.
-Thank you very much.

You are very welcome.

[Michael] I am feeling great
after this lesson.

I'm walking
out of here confident,

I'm walking out of here
with tools I can use,

I'm walking out of here

just with a rekindled sense
of purpose.

So, this is gonna
help me going

and discipline myself
in all areas of my life.

So, I'm not gonna fail.

I have two more months
to try to hit my goal

and get surgery
and I intend to do it.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] Kimberly and I
are about to be at Dr. Now's

for another appointment.

And I'm hoping that Dr. Now
says that I'm ready

to move ahead
with my testing,

to see if I can have
surgery now

because I feel like I am.

Dr. Now gave me four months
to lose my goal.

Adding an extra month for me
from what he's been giving

because I took that
last time.

But he also told me

if I feel ready sooner
than that,

I could come back
before then.

So, I called him
and I told him

I feel good
about what I've been doing,

and that I wanna come back
this month

because I think I'm ready,

and I do not wanna lose
more time.

Michael?

[Michael] So, I just hope
I'm right and I did it.

But I'm feeling good
about my chances.

At my last appointment
I was at 512 pounds,

and Dr. Now wanted me to lose
90 pounds again.

So, my goal for today is 422

and I'm about to see
if I did that.

[dramatic music playing]

-[Kimberly laughs]
-Because of you, babe.

-I know you can do it.
-Oh, I know.

I love you.
I know you could do it.

[Michael] It's more
than I lose last time,

so I'm happy about that.

I guess the big question

is the same
as it's always been,

is it enough?

I hope it is.

You know, I'm close to that
hundred and fifty pound

overall goal
that Dr. Now gave me

to do another endoscopy.

So, I'm holding out hope
that in total

my progress up to this point
will be enough for him to say

I'm ready for that
and to move ahead.

-Hello. How are you all doing?
-Good.

Oh, good, doctor.
Thank you.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
Good. All right.

So, Michael,
so you're back a little early.

-Yes, sir.
-[Dr. Nowzaradan] Okay.

But you didn't lose a lot
more weight than last time.

[Michael] I know.
I thought I lost more.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
So, I'm glad to see

you're maintaining,
so that's positive.

And overall,
up to this point,

you have lost about
a hundred thirty-five pounds.

So, I think,
that's close now

to what you need to lose
for us to go ahead.

We'll do an endoscopy
and see if it's gonna possible

to fix the hernia
and do, uh, preparation

for weight loss surgery.

-That sounds good?
-That sounds incredible.

[Kimberly] Yes.
Thank you.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.
So, we'll set that up for you.

And then see what our options
are from there.

Do you think surgery
is gonna be possible

or even likely at this point?

[Dr. Nowzaradan] I don't know.
We just have to see.

But if it is,
then we'll schedule

for your hernia repair.

And once you recover
from that,

we can see if the scar tissue
is imposing any obstacle

to do in your weight loss
surgery.

So, it may take a little while
to get to that point.

But if you just stay on track
and don't get too comfortable

to where you start to gain,
we'll figure it out, okay?

One hundred percent
I'm not gonna let that happen.

I am excited. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you, doctor.

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
Well, you're welcome.

I'm proud of you

for sticking with it
this long.

So keep it up.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

[Dr. Nowzaradan] All right.

I'll speak
to both of you soon,

and see you at the endoscopy.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, doctor.

-See you all later.
-[Kimberly] Bye.

-Bye, doctor.
-Thank you, doctor.

[Michael laughs]

[Dr. Nowzaradan]
I'm proud of Michael

working just on...
By losing weight like he has.

It will be nice to see
more progress from him,

but trying to stay on track
for as long as he has

is going to be a struggle.

So, I'm happy to see
he at least stuck with it

and worked hard to do that.

And that his family
is supporting him

to help him stay on track.

So, we'll see how things
are looking in his abdomen

and determine if he's ready
for his first surgery

and go from there.

But Michael still
has a long road ahead

to get healthy and make it
to his target weight.

But I'm confident
we'll be able to get him in

for his hernia surgery soon.

And if everything goes well,

we can obtain
his weight loss surgery

six to eight weeks after that

once he recovered enough.

So, we'll see
if we can do that.

But whatever the situation is,
right now,

I'm very optimistic
about Michael's potential

to turn his life around
to get healthy

and stick with it
for the long run.

[Michael] I am extremely
excited right now.

I'm very proud of myself.

When Dr. Now said
that I was ready

and he was gonna do
the endoscopy and test again,

it's like this huge weight
was lifted off me.

It has been a long journey
and a lot of hard work.

And to see it start
to pay off

makes me feel incredible.

So, I'll just wait
to get my date and time

to go to the hospital
for it all,

and then we'll go from there.

But right now,
I'm looking forward

to hopefully
moving ahead soon.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael]
I am excited about today

because my sons and I plan
to surprise picnic for Kim.

I'm trying to get
some flowers for you mom

and we'll get some lunch.

[Liam]
Oh, she loves pink roses.

Pink lilies, but yes.

I told her that I would pick
the kids up from school

and that she should just
take it easy,

and that we have
a big surprise for her.

Hey, beautiful,
can you and Xander come out?

[Kimberly]
Okay. Love you, baby.

Love you. Bye.

And we all picked a spot
by the lake

to make a fun and special day
for Kim,

to show her
just how special she is

and we are all excited
about it.

Kimberly has no idea
what's going on.

It was my idea because
I was trying to think of ways

that I could start
to help out

with all of the things
that Kim has to do,

and take care of, and manage.

[dramatic music playing]

[Michael] Give me your hands.
Okay. Look down, look down.

Open your eyes,
there's a curb,

and just look at the ground.

Keep your eyes close
at the ground.

You know, doing this
is just a fraction

of what she's done for me
but it's something.

It's a step towards
doing the things she deserves

and what I've always wanted
to do for her for decades.

And I think
she's gonna like it a lot.

I hope she does.

-Take a few more steps.
-Okay.

Okay.
Keep your eyes close.

-Okay.
-Ready? Ready?

-Surprise.
-[gasps] Oh my gosh, honey.

-[Michael] Balloons.
-[Kimberly] Thank you, honey.

-[Michael] Mmm-hmm.
-[Kimberly] I love my koala.

-[laughs]
-[Michael] You love that?

Oh. [laughs]
My spring rolls.

[Michael] Boys, come sit down.

Oh my gosh.
He is so cute.

[Michael]
I'm glad you liked it, baby.

[Kimberly]
Oh, this is wonderful.

Thank you.

Thank you, boys,
for being with us.

[Michael] Doing all of this
and all of this activity

is taking a lot out of me

but I am really glad
I did this.

I feel really good right now
and I'm optimistic

about my future.

I had my other endoscopy

and Dr. Now said
a few weeks ago,

I'm almost ready
for my hernia surgery.

[Kimberly]
I'm so proud of you, Michael.

This is amazing.

[Michael] And if I just lose
another 30 pounds or so,

that should be enough.

So, he went ahead
and scheduled my surgery

for three months later.

So, I'm pushing myself
to try to lose

more than that by then.

So, I am excited,

very excited
about the hernia surgery.

Let's go walk to the water.

-Let's do it.
-Okay.

Let's see how far we can get.

You're being adventurous.

Well, just remember,
I float, so.

I know that it'll help me
feel better.

And I'm hoping that removing
the scar tissue

or as much as Dr. Now can

would not only help me
feel better physically

with the pressure I have
in my stomach from it,

but that it'll open up
an opportunity

for me to finally get
weight loss surgery.

Dr. Now said it's gonna
take me a couple months

to recover
from the hernia surgery,

to be ready
for another surgery.

But once I recovered
to that point,

he'll do another endoscopy
to see if I'm ready

for a gastric sleeve
operation.

[Kimberly]
Now I know it's here,

when you get
in a better shape,

-we can come and walk.
-Yeah.

Michael is taking control
of his whole life

and he's working so hard,
and I'm so proud of him.

We've seen
these huge changes,

and that's breathtaking,
and exciting,

and scary because, you know,
we don't know...

Like, we were talking about,

I wonder what you're gonna
look like when you're thin?

You know,
because he's never been.

The smallest he's ever been
was 385

and he felt amazing, then.

So, I can't even imagine
under three

what he's gonna feel like.

I mean, it's just...
And this has been a wild ride

and I just can't wait to see
where we end up.

You know, what they say
about uphill battles.

[Michael pants]
You can't talk [indistinct].

I'm ready to believe
the life I want

is possible again,

and to get excited
about that and my future.

I haven't feel myself
through that in decades

because I've been through
so much disappointment,

but I'm not giving in
to the fear

and negativity anymore.

I still want
and need the surgery.

But for the first time
in over 20 years,

I have hoped again.

I have a future
I believe in now

and I can't wait for it.

[dramatic music playing]