Original subtitles

Seana: MY MIND SCARES ME. MY BODY SCARES ME.

I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER JUST WALKING AROUND.

Woman: SOMEWHERE IN ME

IS THIS LITTLE GLIMMER OF HOPE.

I JUST WANT TO BE A NORMAL PERSON.

YOU CAN'T DO IT, AND THEN I JUST GET MAD.

Woman #2: IF I DON'T MAKE A CHANGE NOW,

I'M SCARED IT'S GONNA BE TOO LATE.

IT HURTS!

Woman #3: I REFUSE TO STOP FIGHTING.

I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR MY CHILDREN.

SO, WHAT IS WITH THAT?

Seana: I DON'T KNOW.

YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF WITH THE FOOD, BE MY GUEST.

--Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Seana: EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE

FEELS LIKE IT'S HARDER THAN THE LAST

AND THAT THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE FOR ME

BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.

AND I'M SO TIRED OF IT AND ALL THE PAIN.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY BECAUSE I HATE THE SIGHT OF ME.

IT'S JUST TOO BIG TO BE NORMAL,

AND IT KEEPS ME FROM BEING ABLE TO DO A LOT,

SO I FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED MOST OF THE TIME

BECAUSE OF HOW HARD IT IS TO MOVE AND GET AROUND.

IT'S HARD TO WALK. IT'S HARD TO BE ABLE TO STAND

FOR MORE THAN TWO MINUTES AT A TIME.

AND THAT TIME GETS LESS AS I GET BIGGER

AND IT HURTS QUICKER, SO I'M LOSING MY ABILITY TO MOVE

AND DO THINGS, AND THAT REALLY UPSETS ME

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY INDEPENDENCE.

I CAN AT LEAST STILL CLEAN MYSELF.

MY MOM HIRED A FRIEND OF MINE, DERRICKUS, TO BE MY CARETAKER,

BECAUSE I LIVE WITH HER

BUT SHE TRAVELS MOST OF THE YEAR.

SO, DERRICKUS IS THERE TO HELP ME DO A LOT WHILE SHE'S GONE.

BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO EVER HAVE TO HELP ME WITH THIS,

OR ASK ANYONE TO DO THAT FOR ME.

BUT IT'S ALREADY ALMOST TOO HARD FOR ME TO DO ALL THE TIME,

SO SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT JUST NOT DOING IT.

BUT THEN WHEN YOU'RE BIG LIKE ME

AND HAVE ALL THESE FOLDS, YOU CHAFE A LOT,

AND THEN YOU GET BLISTERS AND SORES

AND THAT CAN GET INFECTED EASILY.

SO, I PUSH MYSELF TO JUST DO IT AND GET IT OVER WITH,

BUT I STILL CAN'T REALLY DO IT WELL

AND GET TO ALL THE AREAS

WHERE I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT,

WITH ALL THE SORES AND STUFF.

SO, I KNOW IT'S GETTING TO A DANGEROUS PLACE WITH ME,

AND I HATE IT.

I HATE HOW MY LIFE IS, BUT I MOSTLY JUST HATE MY BODY.

I HATE MY BODY MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER JUST WALKING AROUND.

MY LEGS AND MY FEET DISGUST ME THE MOST ABOUT MY BODY.

THEY DON'T EVEN SEEM HUMAN ANYMORE, NONE OF ME DOES,

SO I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT MYSELF AT ALL ANYMORE

BECAUSE I'M EMBARRASSED OF WHAT I'VE DONE TO MYSELF AND MY LIFE.

I'M 22 YEARS OLD.

I SHOULD BE, LIKE, IN COLLEGE, PARTYING, HAVING FUN,

LIVING MY LIFE, BUT I CAN'T...

...ALL BECAUSE I'VE LET FOOD TAKE THAT ALL AWAY FROM ME.

AT THIS POINT, I CAN'T REALLY STOP EATING.

I DON'T WANT TO BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY GOOD PART OF MY DAY.

AND I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF IT.

I ALWAYS WANT SOMETHING,

AND IT'S LIKE MY HUNGER NEVER STOPS.

HI. HEY, SEANA.

IT'S SO HOT, JEEZ LOUISE.

SO, WE GOT YOUR STUFF.

YES.

Seana: USUALLY, I START EATING

WHEN DERRICKUS COMES OVER TO CHECK ON ME.

HE BRINGS ME SOMETHING TO EAT OR HE'LL MAKE IT FOR ME.

Derrickus: HOW YOU FEELING TODAY?

MY BACK HURTS. SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

DID YOU EAT?

NO. CAN YOU MAKE ME SOME BURRITOS?

OKAY. AND HASH BROWNS?

OKAY. HOW MANY DO YOU WANT?

UM, FOUR.

OKAY.

FOUR BURRITOS AND WHAT?

OKAY.

Derrickus: SEANA TO ME IS MORE LIKE FAMILY THAN A FRIEND,

AND I JUST WANT TO SEE HER HAPPY.

I TRY TO HELP HER AS MUCH AS I CAN,

BUT EVERY TIME I COOK SOMETHING, OR I HELP HER PREPARE HER MEALS,

I GIVE IT TO HER IN PORTIONS AND THAT DON'T SEEM LIKE ENOUGH.

BECAUSE SHE EATS WHEN THE SUN COME UP

AND EATS WHEN IT GOES DOWN.

SHE DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

SOMETIMES I FEEL HELPLESS,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER HURT,

SO I GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANT.

Seana: ONCE I'M EATING, EVERYTHING BECOMES OKAY.

IT'S HARD TO EVEN DESCRIBE WHAT IT REALLY DOES FOR ME,

BECAUSE IT'S LIKE IT TAKES ME TO THIS WHOLE OTHER PLACE.

EATING TO ME IS MY SAFE HAVEN.

IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY.

NO MATTER HOW SAD I AM, IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE

THAT MAKES ME FEEL THAT WAY.

I ALWAYS ZONE OUT WHEN I HAVE FOOD,

LIKE I'M IN A TRANCE SOMETIMES,

AND I DON'T SNAP OUT OF IT UNTIL THE FOOD IS GONE.

BUT THEN I JUST WANT MORE SO I CAN GO BACK TO THAT

BECAUSE IT JUST MAKES IT ALL BETTER.

I FEEL LIKE NO MATTER WHAT I GO THROUGH,

FOOD WILL ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

SO, HOW DO YOU STOP SOMETHING THAT DOES THAT FOR YOU?

YOU CAN'T REALLY.

SO, AFTER DERRICKUS FEEDS ME, I FIND WAYS TO KEEP EATING.

OKAY, SEANA, I GOT TO GO. DO YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE?

NO, I'M OKAY.

ALRIGHTY. SEE YOU LATER.

BYE. BYE-BYE.

BE CAREFUL.

I'M NEVER SATISFIED WHEN IT COMES TO MY HUNGER,

BECAUSE EATING IS SUCH A GOOD FEELING.

AND ONCE I'M EATING, I WON'T THINK ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE SAD.

Man: How can I help?

CAN I PLEASE HAVE

A LARGE STUFFED-CRUST PEPPERONI PIZZA?

THE CINNAMON-BITES THING.

AND THAT'S ALL. THANK YOU.

SO, I EAT AND TRY AND FORGET ABOUT MY LIFE

AND ALL THE THINGS I'VE BEEN THROUGH.

I'VE HAD A REALLY HARD LIFE,

AND I FELT LIKE IT'S JUST BEEN CHAOS EVER SINCE I WAS BORN.

A LOT OF THAT IS BECAUSE OF MY DAD

AND HOW HE TREATED ME AND MY MOM.

HE WAS VERY VERBALLY ABUSIVE

AND SOMETIMES PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE --

MOST OF THE TIME.

A LOT OF IT WAS BECAUSE MY DAD HAD A DRUG PROBLEM,

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT THEN.

AS A KID, ALL I KNEW WAS THAT HE WAS EITHER SCREAMING AT ME,

CALLING ME NAMES, OR HITTING ME.

SO, I NEVER EVEN FELT WANTED BY HIM AND THAT HURT ME A LOT.

THE RELATIONSHIP WITH SEANA'S FATHER

WAS VERY TRAUMATIC FOR HER AS A CHILD.

HI.

HE WASN'T EASY TO GET ALONG WITH,

AND I SHOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY YEARS BEFORE,

BUT WE STAYED TOGETHER FOR A WHILE.

Seana: MY MOM NEVER REALLY KNEW HOW BAD THINGS WERE

BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD.

SHE KNEW SOME OF IT, BUT MOST OF WHAT HE DID,

HE DID WHEN WE WERE ALONE, SO I JUST KEPT IT TO MYSELF

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE MY DAD ANGRY.

INSTEAD, WHEN MY FATHER DID THINGS THAT HURT ME,

I WOULD TURN TO FOOD.

IT WAS ALL I COULD REALLY DO AND ALL I HAD POWER OVER.

EATING MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS GONNA BE OKAY

AND THAT NOTHING WAS WRONG.

SO, I NEVER WANTED TO STOP EATING

AND GETTING THAT FEELING.

AND BY THE TIME WHEN I WAS 8, I WAS ALREADY OVER 150 POUNDS.

BUT EVENTUALLY MY MOM DECIDED TO LEAVE MY DAD AFTER A BIG FIGHT.

Cricket: THE LAST STRAW WAS SEANA FELL ASLEEP

IN THE BACK SEAT OF THE CAR, AND HE DECIDED

HE WAS GONNA PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN THE GAS TANK.

SO WE GOT INTO A FISTFIGHT OUT IN THE YARD.

AND THAT WAS WHEN I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO GO.

I MEAN, I COULD PUT UP WITH ALL THE JUNK

HE WANTED ME TO PUT UP WITH MYSELF,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO SEANA,

I WASN'T GOING TO LET HIM TRY TO KILL HER.

THAT'S WHEN I PACKED UP EVERYTHING

AND MOVED TO KANSAS CITY.

Seana: MOVING TO KANSAS CITY TO A WHOLE NEW SCHOOL

AND PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW, IT WAS HARD,

BUT I WAS GLAD TO BE AWAY FROM MY FATHER.

HE WASN'T COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LIFE

BECAUSE WHEN MY PARENTS SEPARATED,

HE GOT SUMMERS WITH ME.

I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHY HE WANTED SUMMERS WITH ME

BECAUSE HE'D TELL ME HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT ME AROUND

AND THE ABUSE GOT WORSE.

WHEN I GOT BACK HOME AFTER THE SUMMER,

I WOULD HAVE LOTS OF BRUISES FROM MY DAD HITTING ME.

I WOULD JUST SAY, "I FELL OFF A BIKE," OR SOMETHING.

I NEVER TOLD MY MOM BECAUSE I WAS SCARED

THAT IF I TOLD HER, HE'D DO SOMETHING TO ME AND HER.

SO I NEVER WENT TO HER,

AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW ALL THE ABUSE WAS HAPPENING TO ME.

BUT AS LONG AS I HAD FOOD, IT WAS OKAY.

SO I WAS PUTTING ON MORE WEIGHT,

AND I GOT UP PAST 200 POUNDS BY THE TIME I WAS 10,

BUT BEING THAT SIZE MADE IT HARDER AT SCHOOL

BECAUSE THE KIDS STARTED MAKING FUN OF ME A LOT

FOR HOW BIG I WAS.

SO I DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS,

AND I FELT REALLY ISOLATED.

NO ONE REALLY LIKED ME.

MY PERSPECTIVE WAS THAT I HAD FOOD AS MY FRIEND,

SO I DIDN'T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE.

MY WEIGHT GAIN CONTINUED AND GOT EVEN WORSE WHEN I WAS TEENAGER.

BY THE TIME I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,

I WAS ALREADY AROUND 400 POUNDS.

I'D JUST NONSTOP ATE. I DIDN'T CARE.

IF I SAW IT AND I WANTED, I ATE IT.

BUT IT WAS GETTING TOO HARD FOR ME TO GET AROUND

AND THE KIDS MAKING FUN OF ME GOT SO BAD,

I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16,

BUT BEING OUT OF SCHOOL,

I JUST GOT WORSE AND SO DEPRESSED

THAT I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

MY MOM HAD TO TAKE ME TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL.

WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL, I HAD TO TELL THE DOCTORS

WHY I WAS DEPRESSED,

AND I TOLD MY MOM ABOUT MY DAD AND HIS ABUSE

AND SHE KIND OF ALMOST LOST IT.

I HAD THOUGHT THAT ONCE WE LEFT, HE WASN'T GONNA DO IT AGAIN

BECAUSE HE WOULD SEE THAT THIS IS HIS ONLY OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT

WITH HIS DAUGHTER DURING THE SUMMERS,

SO HE WOULDN'T ACT THAT WAY.

APPARENTLY HE CONTINUED, AND SHE FINALLY BROKE DOWN

AND TOLD ME ABOUT IT WHEN SHE WAS 16.

Seana: IT BROKE MY HEART, SEEING MY MOM THAT UPSET.

IT WAS JUST AWFUL.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I JUST WANTED TO EAT,

BUT I COULDN'T WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL.

I DIDN'T GAIN MUCH FOR A BIT.

WHEN I GOT OUT, I GOT A COUNSELOR,

AND SHE TAUGHT ME A LOT ABOUT HOW FOOD IS MY COPE,

BUT IT'S ALSO MY ENEMY, TOO,

AND THAT I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO EAT SAFELY.

BUT EVEN THOUGH I WAS GETTING COUNSELING,

IT STILL DIDN'T STOP ME FROM EATING.

BY THE AGE OF 18, I WEIGHED AROUND 500 POUNDS.

THERE WERE DAYS WHEN ALL I DID WAS SIT AT HOME AND EAT NONSTOP.

MY MOM WASN'T HAPPY ABOUT THAT BECAUSE SHE WANTED ME TO WORK

ON GETTING BETTER WITH MY COUNSELOR,

BUT I DIDN'T CARE BECAUSE IT WAS WHAT I WANTED TO DO.

WHEN I TURNED 19, MY DISABILITY KICKED IN,

AND I GOT MY APARTMENT AND A DOG AND A CAR.

I MOVED A FEW CITIES AWAY TO FALL CITY

SO I COULD DO WHAT I WANTED WITHOUT ANYONE

I KNEW BOTHERING ME. WHAT I WANTED TO DO WAS EAT.

SO I KEPT EATING, AND THAT'S MOSTLY WHAT I DID

FOR THE NEXT YEAR OF MY LIFE.

WHEN I WAS 20, I MET SOMEONE ONLINE

AND TOLD HIM HE CAN MOVE IN WITH ME AND THAT DIDN'T GO WELL.

IT WAS OKAY AT FIRST, AND THEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS A DOPEHEAD.

HE WAS ADDICTED TO METH AND THAT LED TO ME

GETTING ADDICTED TO METH, TOO.

IT JUST GOT WORSE BECAUSE HE STARTED ABUSING ME,

PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.

IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE TYPE OF LOVE

I WAS USED TO, SO I JUST TOOK IT.

THINGS GOT REALLY BAD AND I JUST SHUT OFF

AND WAS IN THIS DOWNWARD SPIRAL UNTIL MY MOM CAME AND GOT ME.

AFTER ABOUT A MONTH OF ME NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTACT HER

CONSISTENTLY WITHOUT HIM INTERFERING,

I FINALLY WENT UP THERE.

AND I TOLD HER -- PACKED HER UP,

AND I SAID, "GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED DOWN TO KANSAS CITY.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH HIM.

DUMP HIM OFF IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED."

Seana: I TOLD HIM WE WERE BREAKING UP,

AND I WAS LEAVING AND GOING BACK TO BE WITH MY MOM,

AND HE RESPONDED

BY STEALING THE VAN WITH ALL OF MY STUFF IN IT --

MY I.D., MY WALLET, CLOTHES --

AND I HAD NOTHING.

I WAS ADDICTED TO METH,

AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH I MESSED UP MY LIFE.

SO RIGHT AFTER, I WENT BACK TO MY MOM'S,

AND I TRIED TO TAKE A BUNCH OF PILLS.

AND MY MOM STOPPED ME.

SHE MADE ME PUKE THEM OUT AND TOLD ME,

"EITHER YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL VOLUNTARILY

OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE."

SO I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL VOLUNTARILY.

I GOT MYSELF TOGETHER AGAIN AND WENT BACK TO LIVE WITH MY MOM.

IT FELT LIKE WHEN I LEFT THE HOSPITAL THE FIRST TIME,

BECAUSE I WAS JUST EATING A LOT AGAIN TO COPE WITH THINGS

AND GAINING AND GETTING BIGGER.

AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH MY LIFE NOW,

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET IT GET LIKE THIS.

HELLO. HI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU.

I KNOW. I MISS YOU.

AW.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

YOU GOOD?

GOOD. WHAT'S NEW?

NOTHING. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M FINE. TOUR WAS EXHAUSTING.

IT WAS? YEAH.

WELL, COULD YOU COOK ME A MEAL?

MM. I GUESS.

I THINK SEANA'S KILLING HERSELF SLOWLY

BY EATING AS MUCH AS SHE DOES EVERY DAY.

IF SEANA DOESN'T STOP, THEN SHE'S PROBABLY GONNA DIE

SO THERE'S NOT GONNA BE VERY MUCH LONGER.

I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA LAST ANOTHER TWO YEARS.

I ALWAYS DREAD THAT PHONE CALL.

I THINK SOMEDAY SOMEBODY'S GONNA CALL ME

AND SAY THAT THEY WOKE UP AND FOUND HER DEAD.

I STRESS ABOUT THAT A LOT.

IF SEANA DIED, IT WOULD BE THE END OF THE WORLD FOR ME.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITH MYSELF

AND HOW I WOULD HANDLE LIFE WITHOUT HER IN MY WORLD.

Seana: I KNOW I'M GIVING UP MY WHOLE LIFE FOR FOOD.

I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE I HAVE A HUMAN BODY ANYMORE.

I WOULD LOVE TO FEEL LIKE A HUMAN AGAIN,

BUT I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER GET THAT IF I DON'T CHANGE MY BODY.

IT'S ALREADY MADE ME A PRISONER

WHERE I'M MISSING OUT ON EVERYTHING.

THAT LOOKS AWESOME.

IT'S TIME TO EAT.

HERE YOU GO -- YOUR FAVORITES.

OH, HOLY ME.

OKAY.

THE LIFE I WANT IS NOWHERE NEAR THIS.

MY FOOD ADDICTION IS KILLING ME AND IT'S REALLY SCARY

BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF IT.

I JUST WANT TO BE A NORMAL 22-YEAR-OLD,

AND IT SUCKS BECAUSE I CAN'T BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID BODY.

EVERYTHING'S GETTING HARDER AND WORSE EVERY DAY.

I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS.

EVERYTHING HAS TO CHANGE. EVERYTHING.

I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO DO THAT.

MY MOM KEEPS REMINDING ME OF THAT

AND TELLING ME I NEED TO GO TO HOUSTON

TO SEE DR. NOW AND TRY TO GET HELP.

I KNOW SHE'S RIGHT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A TICKING TIME BOMB.

IF I THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH AND WHAT COULD HAPPEN SOON,

IT TERRIFIES ME.

Seana: MY MOM CONVINCED ME TO GO TO HOUSTON AND SEE DR. NOW.

I TOLD HER I'D GO IF SHE'D TAKE ME AND SHE SAID SHE WOULD.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING THIS TIME WITH HER.

IT'S SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO

EVER SINCE SHE GOT HER JOB AS A TOUR-BUS DRIVER,

BUT I KNOW THIS TRIP ISN'T GONNA BE EASY,

BUT I KNOW THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO DO.

NOT JUST FOR MY MOM, BUT FOR ME,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

I'M HOPING DR. NOW CAN HELP ME DO THAT

BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS BEEN WILLING TO HELP ME.

AS SOON AS MY MOM GETS HERE TO PICK ME UP,

WE'RE GONNA GO TO HOUSTON.

IT'S GONNA BE A REALLY LONG CAR RIDE.

LIKE 11 OR 12 HOURS, MY MOM SAID.

I'M SCARED TO BE IN THE CAR FOR AS LONG AS THAT.

THAT AND BEING ABLE TO EAT ENOUGH

IS THE ONLY THING THAT'S SCARING ME.

THIS IS JUST GOING TO BE A HARD TRIP,

BUT I'LL AT LEAST HAVE MY MOM WITH ME TO HELP.

SHE WENT TO RENT A CAR THAT WAS BIG ENOUGH FOR ME.

I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GET SOME TIME TOGETHER.

HEY.

I GOT YOUR FOOD.

THANK YOU.

I THINK WE'LL EAT ON THE ROAD, THOUGH,

BECAUSE WE WERE ALREADY LATE.

OH, MY GOSH, OKAY. WELL, I GOT THE TRUCK,

BUT I DON'T KNOW

IF YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE ABLE TO GET INTO IT.

WE JUST NEED TO HURRY, THOUGH.

BUT, YEAH, LET'S GO.

YOU COMING?

I'M COMING, I'M COMING.

NOW, GET ME HELP.

GIVE ME A SECOND.

I HOPE I CAN FIT BECAUSE MY APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW

IS TOMORROW.

IF THIS TRUCK ISN'T BIG ENOUGH,

I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY OPTIONS ARE GONNA BE

TO GET TO HOUSTON AND DO THIS.

YEAH, WE'RE GOOD.

YOU GOOD? YEAH.

I'LL SHUT THE DOOR.

AS LONG AS I HAVE FOOD, I THINK I CAN MAKE THIS TRIP.

BUT I JUST HOPE THE FAST-FOOD PLACES

AREN'T TOO FAR APART ON THE ROAD BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING

THAT'S GONNA MAKE THIS DRIVE TOO MUCH FOR ME,

BUT AS LONG AS I HAVE SOME GOOD FOOD LIKE THIS,

I'LL BE ALRIGHT AND I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT.

WE'VE ALMOST MADE IT HALFWAY TO HOUSTON,

AND I TOLD MY MOM I'M STARVING,

SO WE GOT SOME MORE FAST FOOD AND WE'RE STOPPING OFF.

I'M REALLY SORE, BUT I'VE BEEN HOLDING IT TOGETHER.

AND ONCE I EAT AND REST TONIGHT,

I THINK I'LL BE READY TO DO THIS AGAIN TOMORROW.

BUT I KNOW TOMORROW WE HAVE TO START REALLY EARLY

AND WE HAVE TO GO EVEN LONGER THAN TODAY.

I'LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT AS LONG

AS WE HAVE PLACES TO STOP TO GET SOMETHING.

I CANNOT WAIT TO GET INTO THE ROOM.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

I AM SO WIPED OUT.

SERIOUSLY, I'M DYING.

FOOD ALWAYS GETS ME THROUGH ANYTHING.

THAT'S THE REASON I CAN'T STOP EATING.

I'M NOT SURE HOW DR. NOW IS GONNA HELP ME DO THAT.

I JUST NEED HIS HELP AND I'M HOPING I CAN GET IT TOMORROW.

IT'S GONNA BE A REALLY LONG DAY TOMORROW,

BUT IF I GET WHAT I NEED TO HAVE A NEW LIFE,

THEN IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE HOW IT GOES TOMORROW,

BECAUSE WE WON'T KNOW UNTIL I GET THERE AND I SEE HIM.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING, LIKE, PHYSICALLY?

MY LEG IS KILLING ME, AND MY BACK IS KILLING ME.

JUST WANT TO LAY DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP.

YOU DO?

BUT I'M STILL HUNGRY.

WE'VE BEEN BACK ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE AND A HALF HOURS,

SO WE'RE CLOSE TO HOUSTON AND DR. NOW,

BUT THIS DAY OF TRAVELING

HAS BEEN A LOT HARDER THAN YESTERDAY

AND I'M IN MORE PAIN,

BUT MY MOM'S BEEN HELPING ME STAY DISTRACTED

BY GETTING ME SOME GOOD STUFF TO EAT MOST OF THE DAY.

FOOD IS PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY THING

KEEPING ME GOING RIGHT NOW.

I'M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT MEETING DR. NOW.

MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT HE TELLS ME MY BODY

TOO MESSED UP FROM MY WEIGHT, SO IT'S TOO LATE TO GET HELP,

THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT SOONER.

I'M HOPING HE AT LEAST THINKS

I HAVE A CHANCE TO DO THIS PROGRAM.

I'M TRYING TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER.

YOU MADE IT. YOU OKAY?

MM.

SEANA?

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY,

SO I'M JUST REALLY AFRAID RIGHT NOW OF WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

I JUST HOPE IT'S GOOD, AND I GET A CHANCE

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WEIGH ANYMORE.

Seana: I'M AT DR. NOW'S TO SEE IF HE'LL LET ME DO HIS PROGRAM,

BUT I HAVE TO GET MY WEIGH-IN FIRST.

I'M NERVOUS ABOUT WHAT IT'S GONNA BE.

I'M HOPING THAT IT'S NOT MUCH HIGHER THAN 600,

BUT I'M NOT SURE, REALLY,

AND I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO FIND OUT.

I JUST HOPE IT'S NOT BAD.

Woman #4: 659.

WOW. OH, MY GOD.

I'M EMBARRASSED ABOUT MY WEIGHT

AND THAT MY MOM WAS HERE TO SEE IT, TOO.

KNOWING IT'S THAT HIGH MAKES YOU FEEL A LOT OF GUILT AND SHAME.

I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO CHANGE AND TO LOSE WEIGHT.

I JUST NEED HELP TO DO IT

BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN'T ON MY OWN.

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

I KNOW.

HELLO. HI.

HI. HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING?

HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING GOOD. I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.

I'M SEANA.NICE TO MEET YOU, SEANA.

CRICKET. AND YOU'RE...

MOM.

MOM, OKAY. WHERE ARE Y'ALL COMING FROM?

MISSOURI. KANSAS CITY.

KANSAS CITY. THAT'S A BIT OF A DRIVE.

YOU FEELING OKAY?YES, SIR.

OKAY, GOOD. ALRIGHT.

SEANA, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU'RE AT 659 TODAY, HUH?

YEAH.

AND YOU'RE ONLY 22, HUH?

YES, SIR.

YEAH, ALRIGHT.

SO TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.

HAVE YOU BEEN HEAVY ALL YOUR LIFE?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT. HAVE YOU TRIED TO LOSE WEIGHT

AT ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE?

YEAH, BUT I JUST DON'T STAY ON THE DIETS USUALLY, HONESTLY.

WHY?

I EAT TOO MUCH OR I EAT TOO LITTLE.

I DON'T THINK EATING TOO LITTLE IS THE PROBLEM.

WHEN YOU OVEREAT, DO YOU DO THAT

BECAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY OR YOU'RE STRESSED OR WHAT?

USUALLY EITHER HUNGRY

OR I'M JUST BORED OR DEPRESSED OR SOMETHING.

OKAY, SO YOU USE FOOD TO COPE.

SO SEANA, YOU NEED TO LEARN

HOW YOU'RE GONNA CORRECT YOUR EATING HABIT, RIGHT?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT. WE'RE GONNA START WITH A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY,

HIGH-PROTEIN, LOW-CARB DIET.

I'LL GIVE YOU A PACKET

THAT BREAKS THE WHOLE DIET DOWN.

THAT WAY YOU'LL EAT ONLY THREE TIMES A DAY.

NO SNACKING. YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT, SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A GOAL.

AT YOUR WEIGHT, IF YOU STICK TO THE DIET,

YOU SHOULD VERY EASILY LOSE AT LEAST

80 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT 2 MONTHS.

80 POUNDS?

YEAH. YOU CAN LOSE ALMOST TWICE THAT

IF YOU STICK TO THE DIET LIKE YOU SHOULD, OKAY?

IF YOU DO THAT,

THEN WE'LL CONSIDER YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

MM-HMM.

BUT FOR THAT YOU HAVE TO MOVE DOWN TO HOUSTON.

YES, SIR. OKAY?

AND YOU NEED SOMEONE HERE WITH YOU TO SUPPORT YOU

AND HELP YOU.YES, SIR.

OKAY, SO IF YOU MOVE TO HOUSTON,

WHO'S GONNA BE COMING WITH YOU TO SUPPORT YOU?

NO ONE.

NO ONE WOULD BE HERE WITH YOU?

WHEN YOU'RE OVER 600 POUNDS,

YOU CANNOT DO EVERYTHING FOR YOURSELF,

SO IT'S DANGEROUS TO LIVE ALONE, RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY.

ALRIGHT, SO YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT,

BUT FIRST YOUR FOCUS NEEDS TO BE

ON CHANGING YOUR DIET AND LOSING 80 POUNDS

TO SHOW ME YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK HARD

AND YOU'RE READY TO DO THIS, OKAY?

OKAY.

I'M ALSO GONNA GIVE YOU SOME EXERCISES

TO START DOING, OKAY?OKAY.

ANY SWELLING IN YOUR FEET?

MM-HMM. I GOT MY...

YEAH. RAISE IT UP,

LET ME SEE, HOW IS YOUR LEG DOING?

SO YOU GOT LYMPHEDEMA IN BOTH LEGS?

LET ME SEE THE OTHER ONE.

YEAH. ALRIGHT.

SO IF WE GET YOUR WEIGHT DOWN,

WE CAN HELP ADDRESS YOUR LYMPHEDEMA, OKAY?

OKAY.

SO YOU NEED TO START WORKING HARD TO DO THAT, OKAY?

YEAH.

DOES THAT MEAN I'M IN YOUR PROGRAM?

WELL, IF YOU LOSE WEIGHT

AND CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS, YEAH.

OKAY. OKAY?

NOW, YOU SHOULD BE UNDER 200 POUNDS,

SO YOU GOT ABOUT 460 POUNDS THAT YOU HAVE TO LOSE.

OKAY.

OKAY? OKAY.

BUT THAT STARTS WITH LOSING 80 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT, IS THERE ANY OTHER QUESTION?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK WE'RE GOOD.

ALRIGHT.I THINK WE'RE OKAY.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, GIVE ME A CALL.

OKAY.

ALRIGHT. SEANA, NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU.NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

Dr. Nowzaradan: MY CONCERN ABOUT SEANA RIGHT NOW

IS THAT SHE DOESN'T SEEM VERY MOTIVATED

TO START TURNING HER LIFE AROUND,

AND THAT MAKES ME WONDER

IF IT'S SOMEONE ELSE PUSHING HER TO DO THIS, POSSIBLY HER MOTHER

BECAUSE THERE SEEMS TO BE A DYNAMIC BETWEEN THEM,

WHERE SEANA IS STILL DEPENDENT ON HER MOTHER LIKE A CHILD IS.

AND IF THAT'S THE CASE,

WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE MUCH PROGRESS WITH HER

UNLESS WE CHANGE THAT.

BUT HOPEFULLY, SHE WILL SHOW ME THAT SHE'S MOTIVATED

AND READY TO DO WHAT SHE NEEDS,

BY HITTING HER WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL BY HER NEXT APPOINTMENT.

I'LL GO GET THE TRUCK.

Seana: I'VE NEVER LOST WEIGHT LIKE DR. NOW WANTS ME TO LOSE.

80 POUNDS IS SO MUCH.

THINKING ABOUT HAVING TO LOSE THAT

MAKES ME SCARED AND A LITTLE SICK TO MY STOMACH

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LET ANYONE DOWN.

SO I'LL TRY MY HARDEST BECAUSE I'M REALLY WANTING TO MAKE IT.

IT'S BEEN ALMOST A MONTH SINCE I WENT TO SEE DR. NOW.

I'VE ASKED DERRICKUS TO TRY AND GET ME HEALTHIER MEALS

AND HELP ME FIGURE OUT A BETTER DIET.

THERE'S LOTS OF PAPERS DR. NOW GAVE ME

WITH HIS DIET AND EXERCISE ON THEM.

I'M NOT SURE HOW, BUT I THINK I LEFT HIM IN A HOTEL

ON THE WAY BACK HOME,

AND I'VE BEEN SCARED TO TELL MY MOM OR CALL DR. NOW

AND ASK HIM FOR ANOTHER ONE.

BUT I'M HOPING WITH DERRICKUS HELPING ME,

THAT I'M LOSING AS MUCH AS DR. NOW TOLD ME.

I'M ALSO TRYING TO DO WALKING FOR EXERCISES

TO BUILD UP MY STAMINA,

AND I FEEL LIKE THAT'S ALL HELPING ME A LOT

BECAUSE IT'S BEEN HARD.

HERE YOU GO. IS THAT POTATOES?

AND CORN.

WHAT? POTATOES AND CORN.

SO I'M HOPING IF I LOSE WHAT DR. NOW TOLD ME TO LOSE

AND FIGURE OUT MOVING TO TEXAS,

THAT HE'LL TELL ME I CAN DO HIS PROGRAM.

I TALKED TO MY MOM ABOUT DERRICKUS COMING WITH ME,

AND SHE SAID SHE'D KEEP PAYING HIM TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MOVING TO TEXAS?

HMM?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MOVING TO TEXAS?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MOVING TO TEXAS?

I'M EXCITED,

BUT I WISH I STILL HAD THE PAPERS HE GAVE ME,

THAT HAD ALL THE DIETS AND EXERCISES ON IT.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED HIM AND ASKED HIM?

INFORMED HIM ON WHAT HAPPENED?

BECAUSE I'M NERVOUS AND SCARED.

HE'S GONNA BE LIKE,

"THIS WHOLE TIME YOU HAVEN'T HAD THEM?"

I'M GONNA BE LIKE, "NO." HE'S GONNA BE LIKE, "WHY?"

I'M GONNA BE LIKE,

"BECAUSE I WAS SO SCARED AND NERVOUS TO CALL YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD JUST KICK ME OUT THE PROGRAM ALL TOGETHER."

YOU COULD JUST TELL HIM YOU FORGOT ABOUT THEM

IN A RENTAL CAR.

HE'S GONNA BE LIKE,

"SO IT TOOK YOU ALMOST A WHOLE MONTH TO REALIZE THAT?"

I'M GONNA BE LIKE...

"TURTLE MODE ACTIVATED."

LIKE, I'LL BE SO SCARED.

ANY WAY YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CALL HIM.

I KNOW.

MY LIFE LITERALLY REST IN THIS MAN'S HANDS.

Seana: I DON'T WANT TO CALL DR. NOW.

I JUST DON'T WANT HIM TO BE UPSET.

WHAT I WANT TO DO IS KEEP DOING THE DIET

I AM NOW AND MAKE IT ENOUGH.

SO I'M TRYING THE HARDEST I CAN, BUT IT'S JUST NOT EASY.

Seana: IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE MY DR. NOW APPOINTMENT,

AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BACK FOR ANOTHER ONE

SOMETIME LAST WEEK, BUT I WAS TOO SCARED TO GO

BECAUSE I NEVER FOUND THE PAPERS WITH HIS DIET AND STUFF.

I'VE BEEN JUST TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT WITHOUT THEM.

DERRICKUS KEPT PUSHING ME TO CALL DR. NOW

TO ASK HIM FOR ANOTHER COPY,

BUT I WAS TOO SCARED ABOUT WHAT HE WOULD SAY.

WHEN MY MOM CALLED ME TO ASK ME HOW IT WENT,

I TOLD HER EVERYTHING AND SHE MADE ME PROMISE TO CALL

DR. NOW, TO TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED

AND TO TRY AND SEE IF HE'LL STILL HELP ME.

SO I'M DOING THAT, BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT TO.

Woman #5: Dr. Nowzaradan's office.

HI, CAN I PLEASE TALK TO DR. NOWZARADAN?

May I tell him who's calling?

SEANA COLLINS. Okay.

Dr. Nowzaradan: Hello.

HI, DR. NOW.

Hi, Seana, you missed your appointment,

so if you're calling,

I'm guessing you're still in Kansas City right now, huh?

YES, SIR.

What's going on?

You doing your diet and everything you need?

UM, I'M DOING MY DIET, I THINK,

BUT WHEN I WAS COMING BACK HOME,

I LOST THE PAPERS YOU GAVE ME.

So you lost the paper,

and you didn't call us to get another copy?

I WAS SCARED YOU WOULD GET MAD AT ME IF I CALLED BACK

AND SAID I LOST THEM.

Why should we get mad at you because you lost something?

I DON'T KNOW. I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D BE MAD.

Well, if you didn't have the diet,

then you didn't know what to do,

so I'm guessing you wasted two months of time,

you could've been making progress.

Is that the case?

I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE STILL BEEN TRYING.

You come and see us to get help.

We give you the first step of that help,

and you not only don't seem to care enough

to keep track of it,

but you don't try to get another one from us.

You don't seem very motivated to do this.

Tell me, what is the plan, what is your idea?

TO ASK YOU IF YOU COULD SEND ME NEW PAPERS.

That's what you should have done two months ago,

but the diet is only a temporary thing

to get you in the right path.

But, eventually, what are you gonna do?

Because you don't seem very concerned

about turning your life around

or that you really want to do this.

I AM AND I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD ALREADY.

Well, I hope that's true,

but I doubt you made it to your goal.

So this is what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna give you one more month

to lose 50 pounds from your last weigh-in.

If you've already been losing weight like you're saying,

this should be no problem.

Doing the diet, you should be able to lose a lot more.

Okay? OKAY.

Okay, we'll send you another copy of the diet again, okay?

OKAY.

But you need to eat only three times a day,

no snacking in between.

Only meat and vegetable,

and no high-calorie foods, okay?

I ALSO STOPPED SNACKING,

AND I STOPPED DRINKING SODA, TOO.

Okay, that's great. YEAH.

YES, SIR.

I'M GONNA TRY HARDER, I PROMISE.

Okay, good. If you need anything, let me know.

OKAY. Alright.

THANK YOU.

Bye. BYE-BYE.

Seana: I'M FEELING REALLY BAD

BECAUSE I KNOW DR. NOW ISN'T HAPPY WITH ME,

BUT I'M GLAD HE'S GIVING ME THE PAPERS AGAIN AND MORE TIME,

BUT THAT'S STILL A LOT OF WEIGHT TO LOSE BY THEN.

IT JUST SUCKS, ME NOT WANTING TO DISAPPOINT PEOPLE.

IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR ME TO TRY

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M ALREADY DISAPPOINTING THEM.

SO WHAT'S THE POINT IN EVEN TRYING?

I'M BACK IN HOUSTON FOR ANOTHER APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW.

DERRICKUS DROVE ME DOWN THIS TIME,

BECAUSE MY MOM IS STILL TRAVELING FOR A WHILE.

THIS TRIP DRIVING HERE

IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO DO WITHOUT ANY HELP.

MY MOM WANTS ME TO CALL HER AFTER I'M DONE

WITH THE APPOINTMENT TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED.

I'M REALLY SCARED TO FIND OUT MY PROGRESS

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LET HER OR DR. NOW DOWN.

THE PAPERS DR. NOW SENT ME WITH HIS DIET AND EXERCISES

WERE A LOT HARDER THAN WHAT I WAS DOING.

I TRIED TO DO WHAT THEY SAID,

BUT AFTER A FEW DAYS, I LOST THEM AGAIN.

I TRIED TO REPRINT THEM, BUT I COULDN'T FIND THE E-MAIL,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

SEANA.

SO I'VE JUST BEEN TRYING REALLY, REALLY HARD.

I DO AS MUCH AS I CAN TO DIET AND LOSE WEIGHT

BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANT TO MESS THIS UP

AND LET EVERYONE DOWN AGAIN.

Seana: I'M AT DR. NOW'S OFFICE WITH DERRICKUS,

TO SEE HOW MY WEIGHT LOSS DID AND IF MY DIET WAS ENOUGH.

AT MY LAST WEIGH-IN, I WAS 659.

DR. NOW CHANGED MY GOAL TO LOSE 50 POUNDS,

SO I NEED TO SEE A NUMBER BELOW 609.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.

I THOUGHT I WAS TRYING REALLY HARD,

AND THAT I'D HAVE BETTER PROGRESS,

SO I'M REALLY SCARED BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

HELLO. HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD, THANKS.

AND WHO IS THE PARTNER WITH YOU?

MY COUSIN, DERRICKUS.

NICE TO MEET YOU. ALRIGHT.

SEANA, IT'S THREE MONTHS LATER,

AND YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT.

SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH...

I DIDN'T READ THE BOOKLET BECAUSE I LOST IT AGAIN.

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU LOST IT AGAIN?

YES. YEAH.

THE SECOND TIME?YEAH.

YOU LOST THE E-MAIL, TOO?YEAH.

SO WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME AGAIN AND ASK FOR IT?

I WAS AFRAID YOU'D BE MAD AT ME.

NO, I WOULDN'T GET MAD OF YOU THEN,

BUT I GET MAD AT YOU NOW FOR DOING NOTHING

AND WASTING ALL THAT TIME.

YEAH.

AND YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT.

YEAH.

SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF COMING HERE

FROM KANSAS CITY TO HOUSTON

AND GOING BACK AND COMING BACK

AND NOT LOSING WEIGHT IN ALL THAT TIME?

SO, WHAT IS WITH THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?

I GUESS IT WAS JUST LAZY ON MY PART.

YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF WITH THE FOOD, BE MY GUEST.

SO WHY EVEN LOSE WEIGHT?

HMM?

I DIDN'T PUT ANY EFFORT IN, I GUESS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I DIDN'T DO MY PART LIKE I SHOULD HAVE BY CALLING YOU

AND TELLING YOU THAT I LOST IT.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T DO THAT,

BUT COULDN'T YOU EAT MORE APPROPRIATELY?

FOR YOU TO BE 650 POUNDS,

YOU HAVE TO EAT 7,000 TO 8,000 CALORIE A DAY

TO KEEP THAT WEIGHT GOING.

YES, SIR.

SO WHAT IS THAT POINT OF EATING THAT MUCH

AND COMING DOWN HERE

AND GIVE ME THE SAD STORY OF YOU LOST THE PAPER?

THE DIET WILL HELP YOU HIT THE GOAL,

BUT WITHOUT IT, YOU COULD HAVE STILL LOST SOMETHING.

THE PAPER WAS THE ONLY THING

THAT'S GONNA KEEP YOU FROM LOSING WEIGHT?

NO.

YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE LOSING.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T KNOW.

SO WHAT IS IT?

YOU'RE EATING WHATEVER, WHENEVER,

AND EXPECTING ANYBODY ELSE TO DO THE JOB FOR YOU?

NO, SIR.

SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN?

THAT I MAGICALLY MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT?

NO.

I HAVE TO DO MY PART, AND I DIDN'T.

WELL, RIGHT NOW,

IT DOESN'T SEEM THAT YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST

IN MAKING ANY CHANGES,

BECAUSE WE GAVE YOU THE INSTRUCTION,

YOU LOST THE INSTRUCTION.

WE GAVE IT TO YOU AGAIN,

AND YOU LOST IT THE SECOND TIME.

SO FAR, EVERY CHOICE YOU MADE SHOWS ME

THIS DOESN'T REALLY MATTER TO YOU.

NO, SIR. IT DOES.

WELL, IF THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU,

THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT?

TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

OKAY. AND WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM DOING THAT?

EATING TOO MUCH.

WHY?

DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT'S HARMING YOU?

YES, SIR.

YOU DO?

KIND OF, YEAH.

OKAY. THEN WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT?

I SHOULD STOP.

NO, WE DON'T WANT YOU TO STOP EATING,

WE WANT YOU TO EAT NORMAL.I KNOW, BUT I KNOW LIKE...

WELL, YEAH, LIKE, EAT BETTER CHOICES.

BETTER CHOICES?YEAH. TO EAT LESS.

SO I'LL GIVE YOU AN INSTRUCTION,

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE THOSE A PART OF YOUR PROGRAM

AND WORK ON THEM?

YES, SIR.

YOU'LL NEVER LOSE THEM AGAIN, NOW?

NO.

OKAY, SO YOU READY TO DO THIS OR NOT?

YEAH.

OKAY. IS YOUR FAMILY HELPING YOU TO DO THAT?

YES, SIR.

WHERE'S YOUR MOM?

I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA HELP YOU DO THIS.

SHE COULDN'T BE HERE.

SO IS SHE HELPING YOU WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS?

I'M THE HOMEMAKER.

I MAKE SURE SHE KEEPS EVERYTHING NEAT AND STUFF.

I HELP HER AROUND THE HOUSE

AND GET HER AROUND AND MOVE AROUND

TO GET MORE EXERCISE AND...

OKAY, WELL, IF YOU ARE HELPING HER

DOING ANYTHING TO GET HEALTHY,

SHOULDN'T WE SEE SOME RESULT ON THE SCALE?

BUT THERE ARE NO RESULTS,

SO NONE OF THIS ADDS UP.

SO WHO COOKS?

I DO ALL THE COOKING AND CLEANING.

SHE WANT TO EAT SOMETHING, YOU GIVE IT TO HER?

I COOK IT AND I --

MY THING IS I COOK IT, AND I MAKE HER TRY

TO GO MAKE HER TO DO

SO SHE CAN MOVE AROUND, MAKE HER FIX HER OWN PLATE.

I CANNOT GET HER TO EAT VEGETABLES.

SHE EATS A LOT OF MEAT,

BUT SHE JUST WON'T EAT THE VEGETABLES.

UNLESS IT'S THE ONE SHE LIKES, LIKE POTATOES AND CORN.

NO.

WELL, IF SHE EATS LIKE YOU SAY,

THEN WHERE ARE THE EXTRA CALORIE COMING,

BEING 650 POUNDS?

PROBABLY HER SNACKING HABITS.

WHEN I'M AT WORK.

YOU'RE 22 AND 650 POUNDS,

ALMOST 660, REALLY.

YOU COULD HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.

DON'T YOU WANT THAT?

YES.

DO YOU HAVE A GOAL IN YOUR LIFE?

YEAH.

WHAT IS YOUR GOAL IN YOUR LIFE?

TO BE A TOUR-BUS DRIVER.

WHY TOUR BUS?

BECAUSE I LIKE THE THOUGHT OF TOURING WITH BANDS AND STUFF.

OKAY.

MY MOM DOES IT, AND I LIKE HER JOB.

OKAY.

AND SO, HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET THAT JOB?

I DON'T...

AT THIS RATE YOU'RE GOING,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO 30, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

YES, SIR.

SO, YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF WITH THE FOOD,

AND WE'RE TRYING TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THAT,

AND IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER TO YOU.

OR YOU ARE IN THE WORLD THAT THAT DOESN'T EXIST,

AND YOU GOT A COCOON AROUND YOURSELF,

AND YOU'RE NOT SEEING THE REALITY OF WHAT'S GOING ON,

AND YOU DEPEND ON EVERYBODY ELSE

TO MAKE THOSE CHANGES FOR YOU. OKAY?

AND NONE OF THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN

UNTIL YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE IT.

NOBODY ELSE CAN DO THAT FOR YOU.

SO EVERYTHING IS UP TO YOU.

NOT EVERYBODY ELSE, IT'S YOUR LIFE,

AND YOU GOT TO MAKE THOSE CHANGES.

ALRIGHT? IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LONGER,

THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

YES, SIR. OKAY?

SO WE'LL GIVE YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO DO THAT,

BUT IF YOU COME NEXT MONTH AND YOU DON'T LOSE WEIGHT,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE WE CAN DO FOR YOU.

YES, SIR.

AND YOU'RE IN A PATHWAY THAT YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOURSELF,

AND NOBODY CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT.

YOU'RE 650 POUNDS.

IF YOU STICK WITH A 1,200-CALORIE DIET,

YOU CAN LOSE 100 POUNDS A MONTH.

BUT WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO

IS TO ONLY LOSE 80 POUNDS OVER 2 MONTHS.

THAT'S 40 POUNDS A MONTH,

AND YOU SHOULD EASILY BE ABLE TO DO THAT, OKAY?

MM-HMM.SO THAT SHOULD BE EASY GOING.

YOU KNOW?

THAT'S NOT GONNA BE VERY HARD TO DO. OKAY?

MM-HMM.

ALRIGHT. SO LET'S DO THAT,

AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN TWO MONTHS.

OKAY.ALRIGHT. ANY OTHER QUESTION?

NO, SIR.

MAKE SURE THE EXERCISE,

AND WE'LL GIVE YOU THE READING MATERIAL.

THIS TIME, DON'T LOSE IT. OKAY?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU IN TWO MONTHS.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING BEFORE THEN, GIVE ME A CALL.

OKAY.

ALRIGHT. I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER.

THANK YOU. OKAY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: SO FAR, SEANA HAS ONLY CONFIRMED MY CONCERNS

ABOUT THE ISSUES WE MAY HAVE WITH HER,

AND HOW DIFFICULT IT'S GONNA BE

TO START TURNING HER SITUATION AROUND.

THE BIGGEST ISSUE BEING THAT SHE HASN'T DECIDED

WHETHER SHE REALLY WANTS TO DO THIS OR NOT,

BUT ALL SHE NEEDS TO SHOW ME IS A LITTLE BIT OF REAL EFFORT

TO PROVE TO ME SHE'S READY TO DO

WHAT IT TAKES TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF HER LIFE.

Seana: I'M JUST MORE UPSET NOW,

BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT HE'D UNDERSTAND,

BUT HE DIDN'T REALLY.

INSTEAD, HE GAVE ME THE 80-POUNDS GOAL AGAIN

AND TOLD ME I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT OR I'M GONNA DIE,

AND I'M SCARED THAT HE SAID THAT.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S TRUE, SO I NEED TO FIX IT.

THE PAST MONTH HAS NOT GONE ANYWHERE LIKE HOW I WANTED IT.

BASICALLY, MY MOM TOLD ME I HAD TO MOVE OUT,

AND I HAD NOWHERE TO LIVE ALL OF A SUDDEN.

SO I BASICALLY HAD TO PACK EVERYTHING AND MOVE OUT.

MY MOM GAVE ME A LITTLE MONEY TO TRY

AND HELP ME TRANSITION TO BEING ON MY OWN.

AND SHE ALSO TOLD ME THAT SHE CAN'T KEEP PAYING

DERRICKUS TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

SO, I HAVE NO ONE TO MOVE TO TEXAS WITH ME NOW.

SO, I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE HAS JUST FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN.

I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SURVIVE,

AND I'M SCARED BECAUSE I FEEL REALLY LOST.

I JUST FEEL BAD AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S GOING TO ALL CRUMBLE DOWN AROUND ME.

I HATE BEING BY MYSELF BECAUSE I KNOW WHENEVER I'M ALONE,

I JUST FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING JUST GOES SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL,

AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.

I NEED HELP.

Seana: I MISSED MY APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW AGAIN.

I JUST NEED MORE TIME

BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO GET BACK ON MY OWN TWO FEET

AND FIGURE OUT MY LIVING SITUATION LONG-TERM,

BECAUSE I'LL BE OUT OF THE MONEY MY MOM

GAVE ME IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS.

I TRIED LOOKING FOR A JOB ONLINE

THAT I COULD HANDLE TO MAKE SOME MONEY,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING I COULD FIND.

SO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

I'M SCARED I'M JUST LETTING EVERYONE DOWN CONSTANTLY.

AND I KNOW DR. NOW'S NOT HAPPY WITH ME EITHER.

I'M TALKING TO HIM TODAY BECAUSE HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME,

SO I TOLD HIS OFFICE PEOPLE I'D DO IT.

I'M HOPING HE UNDERSTANDS THAT I'M TRYING.

Hi, Seana. HI.

How are you?

I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

Alright.

So, it's been several months since I've seen you

and you've missed another appointment.

What's going on with you?

UM...

I DON'T KNOW RIGHT NOW.

Is mom not with you anymore?

NO, SHE MOVED TO ARIZONA FOR WORK.

Okay.

So what happened to Derrickus?

HE ABANDONED ME.

HE'S LEFT.

IT WAS JUST -- JUST ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER.

Well, Seana, so it seems

like nothing going right for you

in Kansas City,

and you have no support system.

It's not benefiting you staying over there.

So, it's better for you to come down to Houston

so we can help you and have a support system for you

and get you in the program,

so you can lose weight and change your life.

Do you think you can do that?

NO. Why?

BECAUSE I HAVE NO WAY DOWN THERE.

I HAVE NO ONE TO HELP ME MOVE.

I HAVE NO WAY TO GO DOWN THERE.

So, what option we got for you?

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW RIGHT NOW.

Seana, it's not looking like you really want to do this,

because you came down here

and we gave you a diet over six months ago,

but it doesn't look like you have lost any weight.

And you're almost 700 pounds, BMI 100, 23 years old,

and not able to do anything to change your life.

You're not gonna live long at all.

So, what are your ambitions

and what do you want to do with your life?

I WANT TO COME DOWN THERE, BUT I HAVE NO WAY.

Well, if you can,

why haven't you been able to follow the diet?

Do you still have the diet?

THOSE ARE IN THE BOXES I HAVE PACKED, MY STUFF.

I WASN'T ABLE TO BRING ALL MY STUFF WITH ME, SO...

Okay, so what good does it do packed up?

I DON'T KNOW.

Seana, I think at this point, you need to find a way

to come down to Houston and be part of a program

so we can get your weight down.

Because it looks like you're almost gonna hit 700 pound

and it's gonna be BMI of over 100

and it's gonna be a very dangerous situation for you.

Okay? OKAY.

You're only 23, but I don't think

you're even gonna make it to 30 the way you're going.

It seems like you have not gotten ahold of your life

and you don't know what your priorities are at this point.

And you're not following the diet

and you're not doing anything

to get your life changed better,

and you're just gonna be

in a very dangerous situation for you.

I don't think you are realizing that

and you just...

Personally, the longer you wait,

the harder it's gonna be to turn your life around.

So, this is gonna be a priority for you

to make these changes and see

if you can move down to Houston as soon as possible,

because it doesn't seem that

you have any support system in Kansas City.

YES, SIR.

And there is nothing there for you to continue there.

So, let's get you moved down here

as soon as possible. Okay?

OKAY. Alright.

So, you need to make those arrangements.

But in the meantime,

you stick with the healthy eating habit

and don't overeat, okay?MM-HMM.

And do your exercises

and see if we can get you to move down here.

OKAY, I CAN TRY.

And then I want you to come back here

in one month or two months,

whichever you feel.

If it is in one month,

I expect you to have lost 50 pounds by then.

And if it's in two months,

I expect you to lose 80 pounds by then. Okay?

OKAY. Okay, good.

In the meantime, you follow the diet

and try to eat healthy

and get down to Houston as soon as possible.

If you need any help or you need anything,

you can give me a call. Okay?

OKAY.

Alright. I look forward seeing you down to Houston

and see if we can change your life for the better. Okay?

YES, SIR. Alright, Seana.

Give me a call if you need anything. Okay?

OKAY. THANK YOU.

Yeah. Bye. BYE.

Seana: THAT WASN'T AS TERRIBLE AS I WAS THINKING.

I COULD STILL TELL I'M DISAPPOINTING DR. NOW,

BUT I FEEL LIKE HE WANTS TO HELP ME FIGURE OUT THINGS

SO I CAN GET MY LIFE TOGETHER AGAIN.

THE THOUGHT OF MOVING TO HOUSTON ON MY OWN IS TERRIFYING,

BUT I'M PRETTY MUCH ON MY OWN NOW,

SO IF I MOVE TO HOUSTON, AT LEAST THERE I'LL HAVE DR. NOW

TO HELP ME.

SO, SOMEHOW I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT,

HOW TO LOSE 50 POUNDS.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I HAVE NO IDEA

HOW I'M GONNA MAKE THE MOVE TO HOUSTON ON MY OWN.

MY MOM IS TAKING ME TO THE AIRPORT TODAY,

SO I CAN GO TO HOUSTON ON MY OWN AND LIVE THERE.

SHE SAYS SHE THINKS IT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA

THAT I MOVE TO HOUSTON AND TRY TO DO DR. NOW'S PROGRAM.

AND SHE SAYS SHE'LL GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT

MORE MONEY TO GET DOWN THERE

AND TRY AND FIND A PLACE THAT I CAN AFFORD.

BUT MY MOM IS GONNA HELP ME GET CHECKED IN,

BUT AFTER THAT, I'M ON MY OWN

AND THAT'S THE PART I'M SCARED OF.

THANK YOU.

ALRIGHT, AND WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOUR BAG.

THANK YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY.

I'M REALLY SCARED TO DO THIS.

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON A PLANE SINCE I WAS 8 YEARS OLD,

AND I'VE NEVER TRAVELED ALONE AT THIS SIZE BEFORE.

SO, I'M JUST STRESSED ABOUT DOING THIS.

THEY'RE NOT GONNA LET ME COME IN PAST THIS LINE NOW.

I KNOW. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

YEAH. IF YOU DON'T DO THIS,

THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN.

I KNOW.

BUT YOU GOT THIS, I HAVE NO DOUBT.

AND IT'S GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER.

JUST GO GET IT. OKAY.

I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU, TOO.

GO AHEAD. GO GET IT, SEANA.

I'M TRYING.

I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW.

I'M ALREADY STARTING TO HURT A LOT.

I FEEL LIKE MY LEGS ARE GIVING OUT.

THIS IS REALLY HARD.

IT'S MORE ACTIVITY I THINK I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME,

SO IT'S ALREADY TOO MUCH.

I'M SO EXHAUSTED, BUT I JUST HOPE

I DON'T RUN OUT OF ENERGY BEFORE I GET TO THE GATE.

AND I HOPE THE REST OF THE WAY

ISN'T GONNA BE TOO HARD OF A WALK.

I'M STILL REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT GETTING ON THE PLANE

AND HOW THAT'S GONNA GO.

I JUST HOPE I DON'T GET STUCK IN THE AISLE

OR CAN'T FIT IN THE SEAT OR SOMETHING.

I'M VERY RELIEVED I MADE IT ON.

I'M REALLY TIRED, BUT I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

BEING ABLE TO DO THAT WAS MY BIGGEST FEAR.

I'M FEELING BETTER RIGHT NOW.

I'M JUST GONNA TRY AND NOT THINK ABOUT ALL OF THE STUFF

I STILL HAVE TO DO WHEN I GET TO HOUSTON.

IT ALL OVERWHELMS ME.

MY MOM GAVE ME MONEY FOR A HOTEL THAT'LL LAST ME A LITTLE BIT.

I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT I LOSE THE WEIGHT

DR. NOW SAYS I HAVE TO LOSE

BEFORE MY APPOINTMENT IN A MONTH.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I JUST NEED TO REST.

AND THEN WHEN I GET TO HOUSTON,

I'LL WORRY ABOUT IT AND FIGURE IT ALL OUT SOMEHOW.

Seana: I'VE BEEN HERE IN HOUSTON FOR A MONTH NOW.

I MOSTLY JUST STAYED IN MY HOTEL ROOM THE WHOLE TIME.

I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY, SINCE I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY HERE.

THE ONLY TIME I GO OUT IS TO WALK AROUND THE HOTEL

FOR EXERCISE OR WALK MY DOG.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT,

I DON'T HAVE A CAR OR A LOT OF MONEY,

SO I'VE JUST BEEN PUTTING MY FOCUS ON DIETING.

AND I'VE WORKED REALLY HARD ON DR. NOW'S DIET.

I'M HOPING IT'S BEEN ENOUGH,

BECAUSE I'VE CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE TO DO THIS.

I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND A PLACE TO LIVE

BECAUSE ALL MY ENERGY IS GOING INTO

WHAT I NEED TO GET MY WEIGHT DOWN TO THE GOAL

I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE.

SO, I'M HOPING THAT I'VE FINALLY LOST SOME WEIGHT

AND DID IT THIS TIME.

SEANA?

AT MY LAST WEIGH-IN, I WAS 658,

AND THE GOAL I HAVE NOW FROM DR. NOW

IS TO LOSE 50 POUNDS,

SO MY WEIGHT NUMBER NEEDS TO BE DOWN TO 608 TO BE AT MY GOAL.

HOLY

I'VE NEVER LOST ANY TYPE OF WEIGHT LIKE THAT BEFORE,

SO I FEEL REALLY GOOD.

REALLY, REALLY GOOD.

I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

I DOUBTED MYSELF A LOT,

BUT I TRIED MY HARDEST THIS PAST MONTH,

EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON MY OWN.

SO IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO SEE MY PROGRESS AND WHAT I DID.

I HOPE THAT SHOWS DR. NOW WHAT HE WANTS TO SEE,

AND THAT HE THINKS I'M READY FOR SURGERY NOW.

HI, SEANA. HI.

HOW ARE YOU?GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

ALRIGHT. IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU,

SO HOW YOU'VE BEEN?

I'VE BEEN BETTER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BETTER?

EXPLAIN TO ME.

I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING A LOT.

WITH THE MOVE DOWN HERE? YEAH.

SO, ARE YOU LIVING DOWN HERE NOW?

YES, SIR.

WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

I'M LOOKING FOR A PLACE. THERE'S A COUPLE OF OPTIONS.

YOU'RE LIVING IN A HOTEL, THEN?

YES, SIR.

OKAY, WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE DOWN HERE.

ARE YOU ABLE TO MANAGE EVERYTHING YOURSELF?

YES, SIR.

OKAY. TELL ME ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR WEIGHT,

BECAUSE YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT SINCE LAST TIME

I SAW YOU, WHICH IS GOOD.

BUT YOUR PROGRESS IS NOWHERE NEAR WHERE IT SHOULD BE,

IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY DOING THE DIET LIKE YOU NEED.

IT'S BEEN EIGHT MONTHS

SINCE YOU FIRST CAME DOWN TO SEE ME AND GET HELP,

AND IN THAT TIME, YOU ONLY LOST 35 POUNDS,

WHICH IS NOT A LOT.

NO.

SO, YOU STILL HAVE A LOT TO SHOW ME

TO CONVINCE ME YOU'RE READY TO DO THIS.

I WOULD NORMALLY SAY AT THIS POINT,

THAT I'M NOT SURE THERE'S ANY MORE WE CAN DO FOR YOU.

BUT BECAUSE I SEE YOU'RE TRYING A LITTLE RIGHT NOW,

I'M WILLING TO GIVE YOU TWO MORE MONTHS

TO SHOW ME YOU CAN LOSE 80 POUNDS, OKAY?

OKAY, THANK YOU.

BUT I WANT YOU TO START THERAPY TO SEE

IF THEY CAN HELP YOU START TO WAKE UP AND DO WHAT YOU NEED

AND TO HELP MOTIVATE YOU TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES

AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR SITUATION

BEFORE THINGS GET WORSE FOR YOU, OKAY?

OKAY.

AND THEN, IN TWO MONTHS,

I WANT YOU TO LOSE 80 POUNDS, OKAY?

YES, SIR.

BUT YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF CHANCES, SEANA.

SO, IT'S TIME TO DO BETTER.YES, SIR.

YOU STILL HAVE THE DIET, RIGHT?I DO.

OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER JUST IN CASE.

AND I'LL ALSO GIVE YOU ANOTHER COPY OF THE EXERCISES.

AND YOU'RE GONNA START DOING YOUR EXERCISES, TOO.

AND TRY TO DO SOME EXERCISE ON DAILY BASIS, OKAY?

YES, SIR. OKAY. ANY QUESTIONS?

NO, SIR. ALRIGHT.

SO, WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO TO GET YOU ON A TRACK

AND GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO AND NOT TO, OKAY?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT, WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK DOWN HERE.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER MAKE IT DOWN HERE,

BUT I'M GLAD YOU FINALLY DID, OKAY?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

THANK YOU.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M GLAD TO SEE

SEANA HAD SOME WEIGHT LOSS IN THIS TIME,

AND THAT SHE'S MOVED DOWN HERE TO HOUSTON

SINCE SHE LOST HER SUPPORT SYSTEM BACK HOME.

BUT HER PROGRESS IS STILL FAR AWAY FROM WHERE IT SHOULD BE,

SO SHE STILL NOWHERE CLOSE TO SHOWING ME

THAT SHE'S READY FOR ANY BIG STEP LIKE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

BUT NOW THAT SHE'S HERE IN HOUSTON,

WE'LL START HER GOING TO PSYCHOTHERAPY,

TO SEE IF THEY CAN HELP WORK WITH HER

TO HELP GET HER MORE MOTIVATED,

TO START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER SITUATION

BEFORE SHE GETS ANY WORSE AND ENDS UP IN THE SITUATION

WHERE WE ARE OUT OF OPTIONS WITH HER

AND UNABLE TO HELP HER ANYMORE.

BECAUSE SHE COULD VERY EASILY

AND VERY QUICKLY END UP IN THAT PLACE

IF SHE DOESN'T START DOING MORE OF WHAT SHE NEEDS SOON.

Seana: I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED AND SAD

THAT DR. NOW DIDN'T SEEM PROUDER OF ME LIKE I WAS HOPING,

AND THAT HE STILL WANTS ME TO SHOW HIM MORE

BEFORE I CAN GET SURGERY.

BUT SEEING WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF TODAY

MAKES ME WANT TO MAKE EVEN MORE PROGRESS,

SO I'LL KEEP WORKING HARD TO SHOW HIM

I CAN DO EVEN BETTER NEXT TIME

AND FINALLY GET MY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

I'M GOING TO THE THERAPY DR. NOW SET UP.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO HELP ME LOSE MORE WEIGHT,

EVEN THOUGH I LOST A LOT LAST TIME.

BUT I'VE HAD A LOT OF THERAPY IN MY LIFE IN THE HOSPITALS,

SO I THINK I KIND OF KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

USUALLY IT'S GOOD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME

I GET THERAPY, I GET SOMETHING HELPFUL OUT OF IT.

BUT IT'S STILL NOT AN EASY PROCESS,

AND THERE ARE THINGS I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT,

BECAUSE I DON'T NEED TO.

AND IF I HAVE TO, IT JUST UPSETS ME.

BUT WE'LL JUST SEE HOW IT GOES, I GUESS.

ARE YOU SEANA? HI.

I'M DR. PARADISE, COME ON IN.

HAVE A SEAT ON THE COUCH OVER HERE. HAVE A SEAT.

HI, THERE. WELCOME.

THANK YOU.I'M GLAD YOU MADE IT IN.

TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.

WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD LIKE?

WITH MY MOM, IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

WITH MY DAD, NOT SO GOOD.

OKAY, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HISTORY WITH YOUR MOM AND YOUR DAD.

THEY WERE TOGETHER WHEN YOU WERE BORN?

WHEN I WAS BORN, YES, UNTIL I WAS 4.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT PULLED YOUR PARENTS APART?

UM, MY DAD'S ABUSIVENESS.

OKAY.

AND HIM AND HER JUST NOT GETTING ALONG.

DO YOU KNOW IF HE WAS ABUSIVE TO YOU?

OH, HE WAS. REALLY MENTAL ABUSIVE.

AND PHYSICALLY SOMETIMES.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE MENTAL PART.

HE MADE FUN OF YOU, HE SAID MEAN THINGS?

BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

HE MADE FUN OF MY WEIGHT A LOT.

SO, YOUR DAD GAVE YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT THAT.

YEAH.

ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENS,

ESPECIALLY WHEN A YOUNG PERSON IS ABUSED,

IS THEY TEND TO THINK IT'S THEIR FAULT.

MY GUESS IS, DID YOU THINK YOU DESERVED IT

BECAUSE YOU WERE OVERWEIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH, OKAY.

DOES HE EVER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?

NOT REALLY.

OKAY.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?

LIKE...

I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK ANYMORE.

YEAH, AND DOING THIS,

IT'S A LITTLE BIT LIKE GETTING A DEEP-TISSUE MASSAGE.

WE'RE WORKING THROUGH KNOTS, AND IT'S GONNA HURT.

BUT THE IDEA IS AFTERWARDS, YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE

TO MOVE MORE. SO IT'S NORMAL,

BUT I THINK YOU'RE PROTECTED AGAINST SOME OF THIS STUFF,

BUT WHEN WE PUSH THROUGH IT, IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU ACCESS

TO STUFF THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE.

I JUST WANT TO GO EAT

A GIANT FRICKIN' PIZZA RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE DOING?

YEAH, HONESTLY.

OKAY. BUT YOU GOT TO STAY ON THE EATING PLAN

IF YOU'RE GONNA STAY IN THE PROGRAM

AND REACH THE NEXT LEVEL,

WHICH IS HAVING THE SURGERY, RIGHT?

YEAH. SO, YOU SHOULD BE DOING

EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO STAY ON THE DIET.

SO, LET'S COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT STRATEGY.

WHAT COULD YOU DO?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

YOU COULD TAKE A WALK.

IF YOU WERE HOME, YOU COULD DO SOME OF YOUR EXERCISES

WITH YOUR WEIGHTS AND STUFF, RIGHT?

SO YOU COULD DO SOMETHING PHYSICAL.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING?

I LIKE SWIMMING.

SO, THAT COULD BE A GOAL,

IS TO FIGURE OUT SOME PLACE TO GO SWIMMING.

YEAH.

YEAH. AND THEN, THE LAST THING,

AND THIS IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE, IS THE LONG-TERM STUFF.

I THINK IT WOULD HELP YOU TO KEEP TALKING

ABOUT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY,

AND THE EMOTIONAL EATING, TO GET AT THAT,

SO THAT WE CAN REWRITE YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THAT,

SO THAT YOU'RE NOT SO VULNERABLE TO IT.

YEAH.

OKAY? OKAY.

ARE YOU FEELING OKAY ABOUT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?

YEAH. OKAY. SO SEANA,

I NEED YOU TO KEEP TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.

STAYING PHYSICALLY ACTIVE, STAYING ON THE DIET,

IT'S ALL GONNA GO TOGETHER.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR HOW WELL YOU'RE DOING.

I'LL GET THIS DOOR FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

Seana: THERE'S A LOT THAT I FEEL BAD ABOUT,

AND IT'S STUFF THAT WILL HURT ME

THAT I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT.

AND DEALING WITH THE HARD STUFF

ENDS UP MAKING ME WANT TO EAT EVEN MORE,

SO I'M NOT SURE WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

Seana: SINCE SEEING DR. PARADISE AND TALKING TO HIM,

I'VE TRIED TO PUSH MYSELF TO WORK ON THINGS

LIKE HE SAID I SHOULD.

BUT I DON'T THINK I'M MAKING MUCH PROGRESS WITH IT

LIKE HE WANTS,

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M STRUGGLING EVEN MORE RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE WHEN THINGS COME IN MY MIND

THAT I DON'T WANT IN MY MIND,

THEN I TRY TO USE SOMETHING THAT'S NOT FOOD TO DEAL WITH IT.

AFTERWARDS, IT'S LIKE IT'S WORSE.

MY CRAVINGS ARE STRONGER.

KIND OF LIKE MY CRAVINGS PUNISH ME FOR TRYING THAT.

I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT THINGS MY DAD HAS SAID TO ME,

I'M TRYING TO GO FOR A WALK TO FORGET.

BUT THEN AFTER THAT, ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO

IS EAT AS MUCH AS I CAN.

AND THE SNACK STATION HERE AT THE HOTEL

LETS YOU GET THINGS AND CHARGE THEM TO THE ROOM,

SO THAT PLACE HAS BECOME MY BIGGEST TEMPTATION.

I'M TRYING TO FIND WAYS TO COPE THAT AREN'T EATING,

BUT THIS IS JUST HARD.

PART OF ME WISHES I DIDN'T START THIS PROCESS,

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT'S JUST BLOWING UP IN MY FACE.

IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO BACK TO DR. NOW,

TO SEE HOW I DID WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS.

I'M HOPING I AT LEAST DID AS WELL AS LAST TIME.

I WAS REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR LOSING THAT MUCH.

EVEN THOUGH I KNOW DR. NOW WANTED ME TO LOSE MORE,

BUT IT'S BEEN HARDER THIS TIME WITH THE THERAPY STUFF,

AND I LOST THE DIET AGAIN.

SO I'M DOING IT ALL OFF MEMORY FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS.

SEANA?

I'M REALLY HOPING DR. NOW

STARTS TO SEE HOW HARD I'M TRYING,

BECAUSE I REALLY WANT THIS, AND I NEED IT, TOO.

THAT'S DISAPPOINTING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED,

EXCEPT FOR THAT I THINK IT WAS A MISTAKE PUSHING MYSELF TO TRY

AND FIND OTHER WAYS TO COPE WITH THINGS.

I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, AND I'M FRUSTRATED,

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I WAS GOING IN A GOOD DIRECTION,

AND ALL THAT GOT MESSED UP.

AND NOW DR. NOW ISN'T GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH ME AGAIN.

SO THIS APPOINTMENT PROBABLY WON'T GO WELL.

HEY, SEANA. HI.

HOW ARE YOU?GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

ALRIGHT. HOW ARE YOU GETTING ALONG?

GOOD.

OKAY. WELL, YOU GAINED 13 POUNDS THIS TIME,

SO HOW IS YOUR EATING HABIT COMING ALONG?

I FOUND SOME MORE DIFFERENT WAYS TO...

I FOUND SOME MIXTURES OF FOOD

THAT I LIKE FROM YOUR DIET, YOU KNOW?

LIKE TUNA WRAPPED IN LETTUCE.

MM-HMM. IT'S REALLY GOOD.

WELL, I'M SURE IT IS.

BUT THE ISSUE IS, THAT'S NOT THE ONLY KIND OF FOOD

YOU'VE BEEN EATING THE PAST TWO MONTHS, BECAUSE YOU GAINED.

SO, DO YOU FEEL PSYCHOTHERAPY HELPING AT ALL?

YEAH, I GUESS.

YOU GUESS?

YEAH.

THEN WHY DO YOU THINK YOU DID WORSE THIS TIME

THAN LAST TIME?

I DON'T KNOW.

DO YOU STILL HAVE THE DIET OR DID YOU LOSE IT AGAIN?

HONESTLY, I LOST IT AGAIN.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YES, SIR.

SO, WE NEED TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER COPY?

COULD YOU?

WE GIVE YOU ANOTHER COPY, AND YOU'LL READ IT?

YES, SIR.

AT THIS POINT, I DOUBT THAT,

BECAUSE THIS WILL BE THE FOURTH COPY WE HAVE GIVEN YOU.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR EXERCISES?

SO YOU NEED ANOTHER COPY OF THOSE, TOO?

YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT. HAVE YOU HAD ANY ACTIVITY

OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS?

WHAT'S THAT? HMM?

ACTIVITY? MM-HMM.

ARE YOU DOING ANY WALKING, EXERCISING?

I WALKED THROUGH THE HALLWAYS A LITTLE, YEAH.

OKAY. SO WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

PLAY WITH MY DOG IN THE ROOM, REALLY.

YOU AND YOUR DOG, HUH?

YEAH.

SO, NO EXERCISE?

I TOOK HER OUT SOMETIMES.

I WALK HER OUT, AND THEN I WALK HER BACK IN.

THE BEST I CAN TELL YOU AT THIS POINT, SEANA,

IS TO KEEP WORKING WITH PSYCHOTHERAPY.

KEEP GOING TO THAT.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THOSE PAPERS AGAIN,

BUT MAKE SURE YOU HOLD ON TO THE INFORMATION

WE'VE GIVEN YOU THIS TIME.

FOLLOW THE DIET AND EXERCISES

AND LOSE 80 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT 2 MONTHS.

SO, I'M GONNA GET YOU THE STUFF,

AND YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE AT LEAST 10 POUND A WEEK.

AND THIS IS SOMETHING

THAT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRY TO EAT HEALTHY, OKAY?

YES, SIR.

BUT IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT YOU NEED THIS TIME,

I THINK IT WILL BE CLEAR

THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN DOING THIS.

INSTEAD, YOU WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU.

AND IF WE GET TO THAT POINT, THEN THAT WILL BE IT FOR YOU.

YOU WON'T BE DOING MY PROGRAM

OR GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? YES, SIR.

ALRIGHT. ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

NO, SIR.

ALRIGHT, SEANA, TRY TO DO BETTER WITH YOUR DIET

AND LOSE SOME WEIGHT.

AND IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU NEED, GIVE US A CALL.

AND THEN WE'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING, OKAY?

YES, SIR. ALRIGHT.

AT THIS POINT, I'M NOT SURE WHAT MORE WE CAN DO FOR SEANA.

I THINK THE CONCERNS I'VE HAD FROM THE BEGINNING WITH HER,

THAT SHE'S NOT REALLY THE ONE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS,

AND THAT HER MOTIVATION TO TRY AND GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

MAY BE TO MAKE HER MOM HAPPY

ARE THE PRIMARY ISSUES WE ARE DEALING WITH, WITH HER.

THEN IT'S ALSO A LEVEL OF IMMATURITY WE HAVE WITH HER,

WHERE SHE EXPECTS SOMEONE ELSE TO COME IN

AND CLEAN UP THE MESS OF HER LIFE FOR HER,

INSTEAD OF MAKING THE CHOICES

SHE NEEDS TO PUT IN THE HARD WORK

TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER LIFE.

BUT WE ARE GIVING HER EVERY TOOL AND CHANCE WE CAN

TO HELP HER DO THIS.

HOPEFULLY PSYCHOTHERAPY WILL START TO GET THROUGH

TO HER SOON,

TO HELP HER START MAKING THE CHOICES SHE NEEDS NOW

BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

Seana: I'LL TRY HARDER, BUT I'M FRUSTRATED

BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT.

I THINK THE THERAPY MESSED ME UP SOME.

I'M SO SCARED I'M GONNA FAIL AND MESS THIS UP.

AND IT'S TERRIFYING TO HEAR DR. NOW SAY

I ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE LEFT,

BECAUSE WITHOUT THIS, I'M DOOMED,

AND I'M GONNA DIE SOON.

Seana: SINCE MY LAST APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW,

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO BETTER.

I HAD ANOTHER SESSION WITH DR. PARADISE,

AND I TOLD HIM I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.

AND I FEEL LIKE IF I HAVE TO DO THAT,

IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE FOR ME.

SO FOR NOW, HE SAYS WE'LL FOCUS ON SMALL STEPS.

ONE OF THE OTHER THINGS HE REMINDED ME OF

IS FOCUSING ON KEEPING A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT THAT'S IN ORDER,

IF I WANT MY LIFE TO BE IN ORDER.

SO I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF CLEANING.

BUT I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF TIMES DOING THAT,

I START TO WORRY ABOUT STAYING DISTRACTED,

AND THEN I ALMOST START TO PANIC.

AND THAT ALL MAKES ME STRUGGLE AND WANT TO EAT EVEN MORE.

SO THIS ISN'T EASY, BUT I'M TRYING REALLY HARD.

BUT I'M KEEPING DR. NOW'S DIET WITH ME SO I DON'T LOSE IT...

...TO MAKE SURE I'M DOING WHAT I CAN TO ONLY EAT WHAT'S ON IT.

I JUST NEED EVERYTHING I'M DOING TO BE ENOUGH.

I'M AT DR. NOW'S OFFICE, AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS,

BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS TODAY WILL BE BIG,

SINCE DR. NOW TOLD ME I'M PRETTY MUCH OUT OF CHANCES.

SO I HAVE TO HIT MY GOAL TODAY OR ELSE.

SEANA?

I WAS AT 636 LAST TIME,

AND MY GOAL IS STILL TO LOSE 80 POUNDS.

I HAVE TO BE AT 556.

I THINK I FEEL NUMB.

I'M JUST IN SHOCK, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING A PERFECT JOB,

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID WORSE THAN LAST TIME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, BUT I'M SCARED DR. NOW

IS GONNA TELL ME I'M DONE, AND IT'S JUST OVER FOR ME.

HI, SEANA. HI.

HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD. OKAY, GOOD.

WELL, IT LOOK LIKE YOU GAINED

ALMOST DOUBLE THE WEIGHT YOU GAINED LAST TIME.

SO, NOT ONLY ARE YOU STILL HEADED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION,

YOU'RE GOING DOWN THE WRONG PATH EVEN FASTER NOW.

YOU TELL ME, WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GAINING WEIGHT?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW. I JUST REALLY DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?

COULD IT BE THAT YOU'RE OVEREATING?

PROBABLY.

SO, WHEN YOU GONNA CHANGE?

UM...

TODAY.

TODAY? SO WHAT HAPPENED LAST MONTH,

WHAT HAPPENED COUPLE MONTHS AGO,

WHAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR?

YOU KEEP SAYING THE SAME THING,

BUT WE'RE NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS.

YEAH.

DID YOU SEE DR. PARADISE AGAIN?

YEAH, YES, SIR.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE PSYCHOTHERAPY IS HELPING YOU AT ALL?

YEAH, ACTUALLY, YEAH.

HOW?

I'M NOT SURE.

IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, THEN IT'S NOT REALLY HELPING YOU YET,

SO THAT'S NOT GOOD.

AND AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS,

YOU'RE GAINING YOUR WEIGHT,

AND NOTHING WE DO IS HELPING CHANGE THAT.

SO, WE'RE NOT MAKING ANY IMPROVEMENT

WITH ANYTHING WE DO.

WITH YOUR BMI, IT'S ALMOST 100,

AND THAT'S A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION YOU HAVE.

BUT, SEANA, HERE'S THE SITUATION.

YOU JUST TURNED 23 YEARS OLD, RIGHT?

YOUR BMI 100,

AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SUPPORT FROM YOUR FAMILY.

YOU'RE ALONE, AND YOU HAVE DEPRESSION, ANXIETY,

AND MULTIPLE ISSUES THAT YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF.

I KNOW IT'S VERY HARD WHEN YOU ARE ALONE,

BUT YOU HAVE TO DECIDE

IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR SITUATION AND LIVE,

OR IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE ON THIS PATH YOU ARE ON.

AND UNTIL YOU DECIDE TO START MAKING THE CHANGES YOU NEED,

THEN THERE IS NO REASON FOR US TO KEEP DOING THIS.

BUT WE'LL HELP YOU GET SOME HOUSING

IF YOU WANT SOME GROUP-HOME OPTIONS.

AND WE'LL ALSO KEEP PROVIDING YOU WITH PSYCHOTHERAPY

IF YOU'LL COMMIT TO KEEP GOING TO THAT.

AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, YOU CAN CALL ME.

BUT OTHERWISE, NOTHING WE'RE DOING IS WORKING,

AND WE ARE OUT OF OPTIONS WITH NOWHERE TO GO WITH YOU.

BUT IF YOU START TAKING THE INITIATIVE YOU NEED

AND START MAKING THE RIGHT CHANGES

AND LOSE AT LEAST 50 POUNDS,

THEN WE'LL PICK BACK UP WITH YOU, OKAY?

OKAY.

ALRIGHT. I HOPE TO SEE YOU

START TO TAKE SOME INITIATIVE

AND DO THIS AT SOME POINT.

BEFORE THEN, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, GIVE ME A CALL.

OKAY. OKAY.

AT THIS POINT, WE'VE GIVEN SEANA A YEAR

TO START DOING WHAT SHE NEEDS

AND SHOW ME SHE'S READY TO TURN HER LIFE AROUND,

BUT SHE HASN'T DONE THAT.

AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR THAT,

OTHER THAN SHE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO

BECAUSE SHE ULTIMATELY HOPES SOMEONE WILL COME DO IT FOR HER.

BUT WITH HOW FAST SHE'S GAINING

AND HOW HIGH HER WEIGHT ALREADY IS,

WE HAVE A VERY SERIOUS SITUATION WITH HER.

BECAUSE IF IT GETS TO A POINT WHERE SHE LOSES HER MOBILITY,

HER LIFESPAN WILL START TO DECLINE RAPIDLY.

SO WE'LL KEEP WORKING TO TRY TO GET THROUGH TO HER.

AND I THINK THE BEST AND ONLY THING TO DO RIGHT NOW

IS TO FOCUS ON PSYCHOTHERAPY,

AND WE'LL CONTINUE TO PROVIDE THAT FOR HER

IN THE HOPE THAT THEY'LL BE ABLE TO START

MAKING SOME PROGRESS WITH HER.

OTHER THAN THAT, THERE IS NOT MUCH MORE WE CAN DO FOR HER.

AND WE WON'T BE MOVING AHEAD

OR CONSIDERING ANY NEXT STEP WITH HER

UNTIL SHE START TO SHOW ME SHE'S MAKING SOME REAL PROGRESS

WITH HER WEIGHT LOSS LIKE SHE NEEDS.

BUT IF ANY POINT SHE'S READY TO DO WHAT SHE NEEDS,

WE'LL BE HERE FOR HER,

WAITING TO HELP HER AND SUPPORT HER HOWEVER WE CAN.

Seana: I THINK I STILL FEEL NUMB.

AND IT'S LIKE MY BRAIN'S STILL NOT REGISTERING ALL OF THIS.

I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO THINK.

I'M JUST TRYING TO PROCESS THIS AND FIGURE THIS OUT

AND WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT, I WAS PRETTY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF

AND HOW I MESSED UP.

BUT I'VE HAD SOME TIME TO PROCESS,

AND I TALKED TO DR. NOW AGAIN,

AND I ASKED HIM IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO

TO KEEP TRYING TO DO HIS PROGRAM.

AND HE TOLD ME IF I COMMITTED TO DOING THE PSYCHOTHERAPY

TWICE A MONTH FOR SIX MONTHS, THEN I COULD TRY AGAIN.

I TOLD HIM I'M WILLING TO DO THAT.

I WANT TO TRY AND FIGURE THIS OUT,

BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO LET MYSELF FAIL.

AND I PLAN TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

I'M TAKING A BIG STEP TOWARDS THAT TODAY

BY GETTING SOME LONG-TERM HOUSING HERE IN HOUSTON.

-HI. -HI.

I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OVER HERE WHERE WE CAN SIT DOWN,

YOU CAN START FILLING IT OUT, OKAY?

OKAY.

I THOUGHT ABOUT THE GROUP-HOME IDEA DR. NOW SAID,

BUT I THINK LIVING ON MY OWN IS WHAT I NEED.

SO I FOUND A FINANCIALLY ASSISTED PLACE

THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO AFFORD.

Ashley: AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS,

WE'LL BE HERE TO HELP YOU.

THANK YOU. ALRIGHT.

OKAY.

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE

I'M GETTING A LITTLE BIT MORE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.

I ALSO ASKED DR. NOW

FOR SOME HELP WITH EXERCISE PROGRAMS,

AND I TOLD HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE POOLS.

SO, HE SET ME UP TO START DOING POOL AEROBICS,

AND I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

WHAT DR. NOW TOLD ME WAS A BIG WAKE-UP CALL.

LOSING THIS CHANCE MEANS LOSING EVERYTHING.

AND I KNOW NO ONE IS GOING TO COME HELP ME AND SAVE ME.

I HAVE TO DO IT AND MAKE THE CHOICES THAT I NEED,

AND I'M READY TO START DOING THAT NOW.

SO, I'M GONNA DO THE THERAPY AND WORK HARD ON EVERYTHING

DR. PARADISE TELLS ME TO WORK ON

AND KEEP DOING THE EXERCISES AND DIET.

AND THEN, IN SIX MONTHS, MY HOPE AND PLAN IS TO TELL DR. NOW,

"I THINK I'M READY TO SEE WHERE I'M AT"

AND IF I MADE THE PROGRESS I NEED TO BE BACK ON HIS PROGRAM,

BECAUSE I'M READY TO HAVE MY LIFE.

NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS OR HOW MUCH I STRUGGLE,

I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP AND LOSE THIS CHANCE.

IT TOOK A WHILE, BUT I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I'M READY TO CHANGE

AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE

AND GET WHAT I WANT.

I'M NOT LETTING ANYTHING DISCOURAGE ME OR STOP ME