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And it's the first time
you get your prostate checked?

The first time, yes.

And why didn't you do it earlier?

- I don't know.
- I'll tell you.

That's because you think
you're still young.

Aren't you young at 50?

My Italian friend,
today your adulthood begins.

And it begins
with a finger up the ass? Nice.

And it won't be the last.

Doctor, I'm not ready.

Can I choose the finger?

This man is my father.

Father... Forget it, it's better.

He seems weak now, scared...

He's endearing, right?

Well, just a month ago
he was different, very different.

Wanna know how he was?

Then stop, Doctor! Let's go back a little.

Yes! Put those there.
The big fire pits in the garden, instead.

Good morning.

Nice to meet you, I'm Elizabeth Aldridge
from People's Mosaic.

Zalone. Sorry for the ruckus.

What are they doing?

Next month I turn 50.

I'm organizing a small,
intimate gathering.

Sir, we confirmed the 800 guests.
Did you see Tutankhamun's pyramid?

Tutankhamen? That's
the Filipino version, Maurice.

Let's do something big
that will be remembered, come on!

Let's dismantle everything.

- What were you saying, madame?
- I wanted to thank you.

I'm doing a profile on new...

- How do you say? Italian moneybags.
- That's how they call us.

Many refused, but you've been very kind.

Look, it's always nice to show wealth
to people who can't have it.

You make them dream, right?
Come dream with me.

I got some information about you.

Yes? What do they say?

They say you're eccentric, self-centered...

No, look, people often speak
without knowing anything.

Do you live here, in Sardinia?

Also.

Let's say Rome, Milan,
I have houses a bit everywhere.

I see that, besides the love for yourself,

in your life there's another big love.

Here we're touching
on the most intimate feelings.

Here a tear appears,
because let's admit it,

who doesn't like Ferraris?

I own six.
I can show them to you, if you want.

I was talking about your daughter.

Who put these pictures here?

Yes, she's my daughter.

- What's her name?
- Cristal.

- Crystal--
- No, Cristal, like the champagne.

Is she here with you?

No, Cristal lives with her mother.

Linda Restelli, the model
you were married to, right?

That I left, I left her.
I want that clear, write that down.

How can one leave such a pretty model.

You get the new model of the model,
even prettier.

Come see.

Sweetheart!

I'm getting interviewed. She's Martina.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. May I?

- Please.
- Sit down.

Do you want to ask her questions?
She can even speak.

You're very young, how old are you?

- Twenty-five.
- And where are you from, Martina?

- Mexico City.
- She never says which city, she's private.

But tell me,
you're a rich 50-years-old man.

Aren't you embarrassed to be
with a 25-year-old Mexican model?

Look, the nationality
has never been a problem for me.

Even if she were Bolivian, Argentinian,
I would have accepted it. Look at her?

Why, are you racist?

She's got a residence permit,
mostly in the bedroom.

All right. I'm sorry,
how long have you been together?

- A year today.
- Today?

- Today, really?
- True.

I expected at least a flower.

What a gaffe. How can I make it up to you?

It's real love
Pure love

Like a diamond with a sapphire

Like a gold bar
That's safe in Switzerland

It's real love
Honest love

That cares nothing for money

Swear me, sweet fairy,
It's only love, if you gave it to me

This place is so beautiful.

Maybe the villa is a bit small,
I have bigger ones,

but I'm very fond of this one.

Listen, where does this wealth come from?

It didn't fall from the sky.

Write it down.

Everything I own

is the result of 60 years
of sacrifice and hard work.

But you're turning 50.

My father's, I meant.

Not mine. Absolutely not!
Come on, I'll introduce you to him.

Eugenio, my father.
Order of Merit for Labor.

He worked every day of his life.

He worked even the day mom died.

Think about it. A small upholsterer
from the south of Italy

who starts the first small sofa factory
in the North,

then the big plant in Brianza,
the stock market quotation,

and the stroke.

Oh, poor him.

Dad!

I'm here with a journalist,
she's from the U.S.

I'm showing her all my wealth.
Are you glad?

You can't understand him,
he lost the language hemisphere.

Maybe he wants to say:
"I really care about you,"

"I love you so much." Who knows?

Doctor, will he ever speak again?

It's tough.

He's very unmotivated.

Dad! Life is beautiful.

We must cruise in it, Dad.

I don't work
Because if I work

I'm sure to get stuck
And not be in love

Let's dance!

What will you do together now?

We'll do a tour of the five continents,

then we'll go back to Sardinia
to celebrate my love.

All good, but why the five continents?

- Let's do them all, come on!
- All!

What, don't we have petrol?

It's true, he has everything.

He has money, villas, cars,

- boats, beautiful women...
- It's your ex-wife.

He really has everything.

Linda? I'm getting interviewed,
can you call me later?

No, actually. He misses something.

When did you see her last?

Yesterday morning.

Yes. And we found her phone in the drawer.

Did you check her social media profiles?

She closed them all.

About time! Organs of social propaganda
disguised as democracy.

Well, what's happening here?

They can't find Cristal.

Did we check the house thoroughly?
It's 5,400 square feet here.

Who's the man?

I'm the owner of the building,
and father of the girl.

Aren't you the father?

No, Tarek is my partner.
He lives here with me.

- He's the father.
- Let's call him "father."

No, I am the father, Startrek!

Cristal, and surname?

Zalone.

She's a minor, right?

- Yes.
- She's a minor.

Date of birth?

Please. Let's take turns, I'm a gentleman.

- No, I wouldn't dare.
- Say it.

Can you tell me the date?

I'll try.

So, it was the year
they inaugurated the Palma Noir in Ibiza.

So, it was around 2007-2008.

It wasn't summer yet.

- 15 April 2008.
- It was April.

I helped him.

It's easy this way.

What kind of girl is Cristal?

She's a victim
of a competitive and alienating society

where every individual
is destined to an existential solitude.

Do you get why my daughter run away?

Can you imagine
listening to him every day?

Mrs. Restelli,
do you have recent pictures of Cristal?

- Yes, come with me.
- Do we have them?

Sorry, but your ex-wife is Linda Restelli?

- The model?
- You still recognize her?

I mean, look how she was. Look.

She really changed.

"Enough with fashion,
now I do experimental theater."

Experimental theater?
She's looking for a theater!

No one wants her. Awful! Don't go see her.

What does he do?

What do I know? He's a writer, a director.

An original man.

Very original.

He's the only Palestinian
that occupies a land.

My house, my Gaza. Here.

Good.

We'll start the search.

Yes, but we're exaggerating.

Too much alarmism.
My daughter will come back tonight.

We're not exaggerating.
Do you know what Corina did?

- Who's she?
- Cristal's best friend.

She jumped from her balcony.

- Do you know that?
- The chubby one?

But why?

- Because of you.
- Me?

And people that say "chubby."

Those who use abusive language
and show arrogant contempt.

- Luckily Corina survived.
- She's chubby, she must have bounced.

Right, Marshal?
If she were thinner, she'd probably break.

Did you talk to this Corina?
Does she know anything of Cristal?

She doesn't answer the phone.

Let's do something.
The uniform might scare her.

- I'll go to Corina.
- No. I'll go, I'm the father.

- Do you know where she lives?
- We go together.

Move.

I'm sorry, could we keep the news
on the down-low?

You know, because of my job,
I'd prefer people not to know...

...that she's an actress.
Or my daughter won't come back.

Can we go?

Two hours! Come on.

Please, be nice with Corina.

She is undergoing therapy
for her eating disorders. There she is.

Corina!

Hi!

Can you come down here?

Take the stairs, Corina!

Better be clear with her.

- When she comes, I'll talk to her, okay?
- Yes, but be clear. Speak plainly.

- Well, nothing?
- She doesn't know anything.

How can she know nothing of her?

Why, do you know anything about Cristal?

Of her life? Her vulnerability? Nothing!

You believe
in the thaumaturgical power of money.

You don't know what it means
to raise kids.

I don't know what "thaumaturgical" means.

Did you tell her that? She got annoyed.

You'll never find her.
I'll find her myself.

I won't find her?

Hey, Startrek!
I'll find her myself! Startrek!

- Fuck off!
- You don't know what a dramaturgical...

Yesterday I gave her a fake ID

- and a new SIM.
- Bravo.

Who was that one with the Ferrari?

Cristal's father, a moron.

Watch it, the moron's coming here.

Hey, Corina.

Corina?

- Can I talk to you a minute?
- Tell me, what is it?

No, maybe in private?

Good evening, Mr. Zalone. Please.

Come, Corina.

You've never been
in this three-star restaurant before?

Look, I tried them all,
but I missed this one.

It's a pity, because...

Martin Rugerì, the chef, is extraordinary.

He reworks Roman cuisine,
and does something...

Please. Refined. Look.

Gricia with seven peppers,
Cinta Senese foam,

- and smoked Amatrice guanciale.
- I know it already.

And for you, miss...

Kombu seaweed on a bed of chickpea hummus
with Corsican juniper.

For you, I chose a lighter path.

If you want I'll bring you some gricia.

No. The young lady follows
a very strict diet.

Right, Corinna?

What do you want from me?
I don't know where Cristal is.

Nothing, I want to know
my daughter's best friend.

See, sometimes us parents
are so taken by work--

What are you saying?
You do fuck all from morning to night.

Then my daughter talked to you about me.

It fills my heart with joy.

Listen, where are you from?

- Moldova.
- Moldova?

Well, you must have endured hunger
in your country, right?

Here as well, damn it!

Look,

Martin's vaccinara oxtail,
braised in Châteauneuf-du-Pape,

is second to none.

Look, Corina, are you sure
you didn't forget and Cristal--

No, fucking hell,
she didn't tell me anything.

Calm down. Why are you shouting?
Why are you nervous?

Because I'm hungry, damn it!

I'm sorry.

Eat the radish.

Look, Corina, I'm happy for my daughter,

because she can count
on a very loyal friend.

- Another would have said where she went.
- Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port

- Where?
- Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port

I'm in France, in Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port.

the town where
the French Camino de Santiago begins.

And this is the office where you get
your credentials for the Camino.

Avant! Allez!

Italian?

Yes, I'm Italian.

Identity card.

- Are you an adult?
- Yes.

You seem younger.

Everyone tells me that.

- Annette!
- Any problem?

Is she 18?

So lucky!

You must get these credentials stamped
in every town of the Camino.

Buen Camino!

Thanks.

Good morning.

Okay, we're starting.

I'll see these signs
with the scallop and the arrow

along the entire Camino
and they indicate the way to Santiago.

The first stage is the hardest,

it's 15 miles, I'll climb the Pyrenees
up to 5.000 feet to reach Spain.

It's start from this arch.

This is my first step...

You called me exactly while
I'm taking the first step of the Camino.

Cri, your father came yesterday.

You didn't tell him anything, right?

Corina, what a bastard!

Cristal!

Cristal!

Cristal!

Stupid, arrogant, ignorant, ass of a man.

- I'll find Cristal.
- Tarek!

Checco found Cristal!

- Really?
- Yes!

Did he say where she is?

No, he says you know all of her,
you'll find her.

Cristal must be back right away!
She can't be with that man.

It would be a curse for her!

Oh, Lord, Heavenly Father,

let the angels take care of your servants...

Damn you! What were you thinking, Cristal?

You just disappear like that, Cristal?

And what are you doing among these people
dressed in such unkept way?

Who are they?

She doesn't answer.

I'm sorry, who are you?

We're pilgrims,
we're here for the blessing.

Listen, Cristal, we must go home tonight,

because your father,
tomorrow morning at 6:00,

must be on the boat.

- I don't want to go home.
- You don't?

Then I guess you'll say no
to this little gift,

it's 8k, from your father.

I don't need it. I have a backpack.

She has a backpack.

A backpack.

Can you believe young people today?

They lost all values.

To think that I had to bother a minister

to get this in one day.

Let's do something:

there's a little Ferrari outside,
the Portofino, I'm very fond of it.

It's yours. Okay?
When you get your license, it's yours.

I don't want a car.

I want to walk.

Let's hear it, where do you want to walk?

Up to the Cathedral of Santiago.

Okay, let's get to this Cathedral,
but tonight we get home, Cristal.

I'm sorry, it's a bit difficult
to get home tonight.

- Why?
- Because it's 500 miles from here.

How many?

- We'll make it in about a month.
- No...

I'm sorry, Father Depardieu,
I'm sorry these are not pilgrims.

You are mentally ill, people.

My daughter...

Cristal! Damn it... Cristal!

So, Cristal, what did we decide?

Want to hop in?

We've been walking this way
for three hours.

My arms are killing me, Cristal.

You have no pity for your father? Right?

You're very insensitive.
I'm sorry to tell you, but it's true.

- Can you move?
- Look at this guy...

You're doing the Camino de Santiago
in a Ferrari?

It's the Camino de Maranello.
More comfortable and nice.

Look at what I have to do.

This is the Virgin of Biakorri.

The Virgin of shepherds and pilgrims.

She accompanied the poor along the Camino.

While the rich, like us,
she sent them home.

She says: "What are you doing
among the poor? You got everything."

Why, is it a lie?

Do we want to lie to the Virgin Mary?
She knows about my income.

The Virgin Mary is the financial police.
You know?

Cristal, hop in the car.

Virgin of Biakorri, you're so stubborn.

Who do you take after?

I hoped that when I turned around,
he'd be gone.

But he was glued to me.

Cristal, we made it to Spain.
Can you believe that?

And we haven't eaten yet.

Look, there's a seafood restaurant. Look.

The meat is better?

A steakhouse, Cristal!

Let's go to the steakhouse, honey.

Can you tell me
where you're going now, Cristal? Cristal!

- Sorry, madam. Where are you going?
- It's a hostel.

- What is that?
- You sleep here.

Damn it, Cristal!

There are five-star hotels
for people like us.

Damn it.

There it is.

You won't see this anymore.

Tomorrow is the festival of San Fermín,
so we're full.

But on an entirely exceptional basis,

we can let you stay
in Ernest Hemingway's room.

Let me get this straight,
should I sleep with this guy?

Don't worry.
Tonight Mr. Hemingway won't be back.

I won't let him in.

- Goodbye.
- Good night.

Sweetheart.

Honey, we had to stop in the Cote d'Azur.

A tragedy happened.

- What is it?
- The ice machine broke.

- My God.
- Checco! Warm cocktails! Come on!

You were an idol!

Guys, I humbly apologize.

Tomorrow I'll send you
my team of technicians, okay?

Where are you coming back love?

Honey, I know my daughter. She'll be tired
by tomorrow and we'll come back.

Come on, be fast. I miss you. Bye.

What a day.

First day in Pamplona, sir?

Yes, never been here.
I'm here for my daughter,

who decided to do the Camino de Santiago.

My daughter wants to do it as well,
but she cant.

- Why?
- She's a minor.

I told her: "Next year you'll be an adult
and you'll do it by yourself."

Your Cristal, sir.

Sir?

What's wrong?

What? She'll see now.

So? What are we doing?

Do we fake documents?

What? Do you think I'm an idiot
who doesn't know when you were born?

You know nothing about me.

- What is it? Don't bother me.
- Don't talk like that to your father.

You? You're my father?

Yes. Check your credit card.
Check who's the holder.

And if you don't stop it, I'll lower
your daily spending to 500 euros.

No, this is too much.

Madam, sometimes you have to.
Otherwise, you don't educate them.

This Camino is just a whim.

The umpteenth whim you won't see through,

like you do with everything.

Like you did with figure skating,

sailing, horseback riding...

At least I try to do something.
You do fuck all!

Yes, it's true.

But I did it fully, Cristal.

Without hesitation. Every day,
even when I wanted to.

- "Be consistent," I told myself--
- I don't want your credit card!

You corrupted Corina,
you won't corrupt me as well.

And who did you corrupt to get
this document that's as fake as you?

You're fake!

No, I'm authentic.

People, I'm exactly the way you see me.

A moron!

He has a wig!

It's not a wig.
It's a cutaneous patch. Ignorant!

Cristal!

No one ever dared
to call your father a moron!

Moron!

Friends, we have the festival idiot,

he's Italian and we gave him the title

of moron of Saint Firmin!

Let's watch the video

of the way he earned the crown of moron.

Oh, my God!

How did you think you could park it here?

In Italy I usually park this way.

Because you can see cats,

pigs, boars in Rome, never bulls.

Can we crown the moron of Saint Firmin?

How much was the Ferrari?

Let's not think about it.

Luckily I have another five.

And my father said: "Six is too many."

- See?
- You were sensible!

Always.

In the whole wide world

Nice song.

A unique festival

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Your cutaneous patch.

I'll get to my trichologist in Milan
tomorrow,

he'll do an even blonder one.

Did you decide to go back home?

Do you think I should stay
with that devil of a daughter?

I think so.

Cristal is looking for her father.

No, her father looked for her,
and better if he didn't find her.

Don't leave.

Why don't you do the Camino with her?

Do you expect me to do the Camino?

Who does this crazy thing, come on!

I did the Camino de Santiago.

I did it as well. I came back
last week. It's amazing.

- He did it as well.
- Him?

He came back last week.

Who knows when he left.

Maybe in 1982.

So, what are you doing?

I don't even have
the right attire to do it,

it's all destroyed.

For the Camino,
you need only the essentials.

I'm Alma.

Shall we go?

Are you sure you bought everything?

You said the essentials.

But if there's something else to buy,
shopping is my passion.

No.

The rule is that the backpack

shouldn't be more
than 15% your body weight.

- Really?
- So...

You must leave something or get fatter.

Never. I care about my body.

And I'm with a model.
I wouldn't hear the end of it.

How old is she?

So, the rule is that my woman
can't be older than 50% my age.

So I'm out of the competition.

I'm 40.

You already have a man, I hope.

Let's say I'm doing the Camino for him.

I'm at the Alto del Perdon.

Behind me,
the sculptures of walking pilgrims.

Look how beautiful.

So pretty.

- Look--
- Surprise!

So annoying! Why don't you leave?
Go, damn it!

She treats me like an idiot.

Well, Alma, she despises me.

No, she doesn't despise you.

She hates you.

Yes? So you know what I'll do?

I'll leave,
your mother will deal with you.

Spoiled brat!

- Checco, where are you going?
- No...

What should I do with her?

You must be patient.

The Camino is long, you can't imagine
how many things happen.

Come on, I'll go rest.

So, Alma, shall we go?

And your things?

Come.

We're at the Puente de la Reina.

A bridge built by Queen Munia
to let pilgrims pass,

and they bow in her honor,
and do it in their bare feet.

Like me...

And the other pilgrims.

Not all of them.

There's always someone arrogant
who thinks they're God.

- Remove them now.
- Yes, I'll remove them, guys.

I'll remove them, like all of you.

By the way, limited edition, 3,800k.

The Queen bows to them.

- Is that clear?
- Come on, walk.

Not all shoes are the same.
Cristal, I removed them! Cristal!

Cri... st. That whore of the Queen!

- Walk.
- Bitch!

Where is this place?

We're here.

Nothing, he doesn't pick up.

Who?

Dr. Limberti.

Head of Plastic Surgery
at San Raffaele Hospital.

For a blister?

- I care about it.
- Come on, I'll pop it.

But it'll leave a mark,
how can I go on a boat like that?

You know, among us,
these blemishes are not accepted.

Good afternoon, brothers, welcome.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Thank you, brother, may God pay you back.

Thank you so much.

Cristal, I'll take it.
Cristal! I'm the father, I'll pay.

Do you have a card machine?

I don't have a POS terminal.

- An IBAN? I'll do a bank transfer.
- Please, go ahead.

- So arrogant.
- There's people waiting. Thank you.

Checco, come.

Shall I sleep there? Me?

So...

You certainly stayed
in the best hotels around the world.

Only the most exclusive.

Right. But you're here now,
with your daughter.

Show her how happy you are
to be here with her.

- Okay?
- I'll try.

Wow, it's so nice here.

Wonderful, very pretty.

Look how they mixed wood and iron.

Very elegant.

It's like being in a film.

- Really? Which one?
- Schindler's List.

Let's see here. The showers.

Young man, open it.

See, no gas comes out.

No, nice.

Cristal, seriously.

- This is the blessing rap
- This is the blessing rap

- May God bless our food!
- May God bless our food!

- Offer your hands
- Offer your hands

- Bend your elbows
- Bend your elbows

- Now we're all blessed!
- All blessed!

It's original, Cristal,
The rap is original. Nice.

Now, let's think for a moment

about all those people
who can't eat this food.

What did he say?

He said to think of those people
who can't eat it.

And who thinks about
those who must eat it?

- Enjoy your meal.
- Enjoy.

I'm sorry, who's the cook, the chef?

- Who's it?
- Hiroshi.

Oh, it's you? The Japanese, you?

No! Let's applaud Hiroshi.

Bravo.

Bravo.

Listen, in Japan, did they invent karate

after they tried your food?

No, I'm sorry Hiroshi, I...

Don't do it anymore. Never.

What the hell did he put in the sauce?

Not even muriatic acid takes it off.

Honey.

Honey, nobody came to fix the ice machine.

And we have another problem.

What else happened? Don't make me anxious.

Checco, we wanted
simple tarts with butter and anchovies.

They're there, guys.

They're not from the Cantabrian Sea.

And who let them onto my yacht?

Honey, so much inconvenience.
All the girls left.

Martina, listen to me.

We'll make a comeback, I promise you.

I love you.

I can't, guys.

I tried my best.

Even the pots?

Cristal, do you know that your father
always loved washing dishes?

I know, you don't believe it,
but it's true.

Hi, I'm Alma,

many pilgrims do the Camino
to find themselves.

I do the Camino to find the courage
to lose myself completely.

I'm Gianni and I'm blind.

I always asked my friend Riccardo
to accompany me in the Camino.

But he was married and never had time.

Luckily one day he separated.

And now I'm accompanying him.

What are you doing?

It's the rite of the candle. Each pilgrim
tells their story to the others.

Hi, I'm Leo,

I'm here because I felt the need
to embark on a spiritual journey,

to find the voice inside of me.

I'm Cristal, a girl who has everything.

- It's true.
- I have everything in abundance.

It's true. She's my daughter.
It's true. Everything.

But it's not enough anymore.

If she told me,
I'd have put more in her bank account.

Such a fool.

So I've decided to do the Camino
to find something authentic,

- that I feel it's missing from my life.
- Not true.

I always gave her original things.

This lack of authenticity

makes me live moments of darkness and pain
that I hope to overcome.

No, I'm sorry, madam, it's late.

Hi, guys, I'm Checco,

and Cristal, maybe she doesn't say it
to be humble, is my daughter.

See, Cristal, I never told you,

but even your father had a dark moment.

It happened when I was 25.

I went to New York
to buy the Nautilus 5711,

I guess you know it's the Patek Philippe
that should be

in every collection of watches.

But when I got there, in Manhattan,

I found a jewelry store that was
completely destroyed, burned down.

No more dream.

It was a tough blow, but that day I learnt

that you must let things roll off
your back, Cristal.

I'll never forget that day.

It was September 11th, 2001.

This is to say that darkness comes,

but there's always the light,
Cristal, believe me.

I hated him with all my heart,
I hoped he'd disappeared forever.

But he was there, a few beds from mine.

Look where I ended up, fuck it.

No, come on, not the dog. Not the dog.

Does it bother you if he sleeps here?
I can sleep there if you prefer.

No, the dog is better. I like them.

- Where the fuck...
- Checco?

It's Leo, remember me?

The spiritual journey.

Actually, I'm doing the Camino
to meet beautiful girls.

- So young. Does you mother know?
- Yes.

Something that belongs to Olga
fell under your bed.

Can you get it, please?

Fucking hell!

Fuck you, this old lady,
the prosthodontic...

All good. It's all nice, honey.

Fantastic.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Cristal, did you see Checco?

No, I hope I won't see him anymore.
I want to walk alone.

Right. Buen camino.

Get up! Let's go, come on, get up.

Juan, lower these bells.

- What are you saying?
- A bit of respect.

Everyone left.
You'll have to walk under the sun.

Can I have a coffee?

A coffee? Maybe also a croissant? Go, go.

- Slow down.
- Come on, it's late.

- Where can I change?
- Who knows where you'll change?

- Is there a free crypt?
- A crypt? Please! Come on. Let's go.

What do we really eat sitting at a bar?

We eat ourselves.

Power allows us our out-of-cell time,
to lock us into our slavery.

We must find a way
to free ourselves from all this.

But calmly, with absolute calm.

- Tarek!
- I'm sorry.

So? What does he say?
When will Cristal come back?

Doesn't pick up. I called many times.

I was thinking it's good for Cristal
to spend some time with her father.

What are you thinking?

Cristal, with that man,
can only lose herself.

Is there anyone here?

A human.

I'm sorry, for the Camino de Santiago,
am I in the right direction?

Which walk are you doing?

The French one?
The English? The Portuguese?

I walk like this. You tell me.

The idiot walk.

Where is it? I'm looking for my daughter.

Cristal!

That's what you do to your father?

Help!

Cristal!

What happened, Cristal?

Damn you.

What happened?

I fell.

My ankle.

Slow! It hurts!

What did you want to do, Indiana Jones?

You're a rich girl of the city, Cristal.

Understand that, I created you that way.

You don't go in the woods.

You go to clubs. Aperitifs.

Look...

All this doesn't happen
in a club, Cristal.

- It'll get better. Relax.
- Stop.

- I said "stop"!
- Relax. Sit down.

Let's see if someone comes by.

Well... what can you do?

No, I can't believe it.

Cristal, do you see that?

Dad exported "Made in Italy,"
and now he says thank you.

Hey!

I'm the owner, Zalone.

No, you're not dreaming, kid. I'm the--

It's me, Zalone.

I'm the owner.

Stop, moron!

It's an order, stop!

When I'll be back at the headquarters,
in Brescia, he'll see.

- In Monza. The headquarters are in Monza!
- Monza?

- You've never been there once, fuck it!
- Wait...

Excuse me!

Stop...

It's an emergency.

Hey! Move! I have a code tinto!

Move, for the love of Santiago Bernabeu!
Move, I have a code tinto on board!

Get out of the way!

- Alma!
- Checco!

Stop!

She fell! She shattered her ankle.

- I'm coming with you.
- Hop in.

How are you?

Will you stop staring?

Yes, I'll tell her.

So, Cristal, there's no fracture.

But it's a tough sprain.

You must rest, okay?

- For how long?
- Fifteen days.

- Fifteen days?
- Yes.

- And she won't be able to walk, right?
- No, she won't.

I was starting to enjoy this Camino.

Stop with that bullshit, okay?

I was enjoying it. But it's over.

Okay, I'll arrange our trip back.

Relax.

But why?

- This is Mr. Zalone, card Extra Gold 1489.
- How can I help you?

- Send an air ambulance right now.
- Of course.

Or better a small plane
with medical staff on board.

Mr. Zalone, can you tell me where?

Good question.

Look, I'm in Spain.

I had better send you my position.

What happened?

Cristal can't stop now. Do you get that?

The doctor said she can't walk.
What can I do about it?

You know what a father could do
if he really wanted to?

Miracles, Checco.

Miracles.

Good morning, Madam.

You are going to Santiago
looking for a miracle as well, right?

Look, I brought my daughter to Medjugorje.

We went to Lourdes, okay?

Fatima. Scams, Madam.

Let's check this Santiago.

I mean, it's a man.
On paper, that should feel safer.

- Buen Camino!
- Goodbye.

What a moron! A moron.

It's not that wise man
Who shows you the way

It's not your aunt's brother
To whom you should pray

It's not the superhero
Who saves the child under stress

Also because I was minding my own business

It's not the picture
On your desk among your mess

It's not the puppy
That before leaving you caress

It's not that game
Guess who it looks like

A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE

Look at the eyebrows

What is it then?
What's in there?

What DNA is in the air?

That leads us here
Without knowing the road

But whatever happens, either way

Buen Camino

HOSPITAL FOR PILGRIMS

Thank you.

Don't you have credentials?

What? Look at these.

Hey, look here.

Do I have to continue?

This is the credential.

This one?

I'll buy it. How much does it costs?

I'm sorry, there are only two beds left.

They have only two beds left.

So, where are you sleeping, Alma?

That night, what I had always hoped
finally happened.

He finally had his fair dose of reality.

- Is your husband dead?
- Yes, poor thing.

- I'm single.
- Great.

- But I can't forget her.
- Look around.

What shall I look at?
There's nothing here.

What is it? What happened?

Stop! I can't take it anymore.
I want to go back home.

Are you crazy?

Have you heard that?

We've almost reached
the end of the Camino.

This is Santiago.

She said "halfway."

Oh, right. Sorry, my Italian...

Got it. How many miles to Santiago?

Two hundred and fifty more.

Learn Italian
or you'll confuse people.

- Okay. Come on, let's go!
- No, that's it. I'll go back.

- Are you going back?
- I can't do it anymore.

Guys? She wants to go back home.

- No, Cristal, come on!
- Come on, Cristal. You can do it!

- Cristal!
- No, come on!

- No! Let me go!
- Don't leave things halfway!

- Put me down! Leave me alone!
- Don't leave things halfway!

- Let me go!
- Your dad is here!

Put me down! Put me down, now!

Cristal, you're under arrest!

I'll take you to the police.

Madam, have you tried
to convince your ex-husband

to take Cristal back home?

I've been doing that for weeks.
He won't listen to me.

In order to intervene, we need you
to report him for child's abduction.

We're here for that. Right, Linda?

Yes.

Follow me.

In the year of our Lord 2025.

- Lord?
- Lord.

- Are you Christians or not?
- We are.

So, in the year of our Lord 2025.

Infra scripto
Linda Restelli. The undersigned.

The undersigned.

- Renders a report...
- "Renders"?

Files a report.

- Files.
- To the detriment of Mr. Zalone.

Against.

Please, could you write it yourself?

Walk, walk...

Here I am, on the road again.

Well, he was actually the one
to give me the strength to go on.

- Welcome everyone.
- Hello.

It's so nice in here.

Walk with me

Thanks, sweetheart.

Checco, we're collecting money
for the dinner.

Do you want to do the shopping
with Father Tobias?

Yes, I'll come with you.

We'll do the shopping
at a friend's house. He's a farmer.

You're doing the shopping
at his friend's. He's a farmer.

Let me get that straight.
Who's going to cook that?

- Who's cooking today?
- Him.

No! Let's do one thing. I'll manage it.

I want to celebrate my daughter

who was limping,
but then started walking again...

Pilgrims, I'm going
to make dinner for you, tonight.

Okay.

- I'll wait for you downstairs, Checco.
- Okay.

Thank you, Checco.

Don't organize any party for me.

- Why?
- Because I know you.

You're full of yourself, as usual.

We're here to share simple food.

Bought with the money we all chipped in.

Is that clear?

Cristal, your dad has changed a lot.

Thanks to the Camino.
I've understood many things.

Thing is I still had
a lot of prejudices against him.

But the Camino was actually changing him,

and I felt like I had to trust him.
Trust him as much as I could.

And Father Tobias...

- Come on, it's getting late.
- ...would have led him to the right path.

- No!
- Vamos! Farmer...

Checco! We have no money,
how will we pay for this?

Faith will help us.

No.

Take. Taste.

Taste. Seven.

- Seven ounces?
- Seven ounces.

Actually, two whole hams.

Great choice. A top quality French wine.

Yes... Put it here.

- In there?
- Yes. Open it and pour it.

Yes, and here too.

Checco. He said he can't. It's impossible.

- Why?
- Because dignity is priceless.

I am a three-star Michelin chef. I can't.

Okay, guys.
Shall we make a toast for my daughter

with this famer's wine?

- Yes!
- To Cristal!

- Cristal!
- Cristal!

Checco, there's no chance in hell
this is the farmer's wine.

I can't see, but I know wines.

Just zip it for tonight, please.

Shall we give a round of applause
to Miguel the farmer

who has prepared everything?

Hey, Alma.

What about Cristal?
Things are better, right?

Way better.

Let's say I've had the chance
to get to know her better.

Great, Checco.

You're a father who can read
his daughter's heart.

Actually, I've read her secret diary.

No, Checco. You shouldn't have!

I know, but she closed
all her social accounts.

- Where can I mind her business?
- Not in her secret diary.

I've read very alarming things on it.

She's been disappointed by love, okay?

And now she is refusing
every material thing,

and just wants to be devoted
to spirituality and prayers.

That's what she wrote.

What if she became a nun?

That'd be a problem.

No, Alma. That'd be a catastrophe.

I only have one daughter.
She can't become a nun!

What if she took a vow of poverty,
and gave everything to this... to Leone.

He would fucking get everything.
That's not right, come on!

She's coming.

- I'm going out with Alberto.
- With Alberto?

Yes.

- You got a problem with it?
- No. Why should I? Go.

Go.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Alberto?

Can you come for a second?
I have to talk to you.

- You're taking my daughter out tonight.
- Let me interrupt you.

I know what you're about to say.
Don't worry.

Cristal told me she's a minor.

I would never hit on her.

Then, you're not going out with her.
You must hit on her, Alberto.

- Is my daughter ugly?
- No, actually--

So, hit on her. Okay?
You're goodlooking, Italian, and funny.

Make a joke, chat a bit,
look in her eyes, say something poetic...

And that's it. Don't go any further.
She's a child.

And it's your first evening.

- Will you promise me, Alberto?
- Yes.

Wait, let me give you something.

- Take this.
- What is it? I can't...

This will increase your charm by 50-60%.

It's unlimited. Come on, take it.

- Go. Alberto?
- All right.

Yes.

Let's hope for the best, Alma.
He seems like a good guy.

Another concert for tonight. A symphony.

Here. Listen.

And now... Here we go.

I know you by now.

What a hot night, Checco.

Say hi to the public pension authority,
Madam. Good night.

He only walks and fucks. Walks and fucks.

Here we have sleep apnea.

They look dead, but then... Here.

This is the jazz area.
They are fucking snoring randomly.

Hey, Alma. Still up? How come?

I was thinking.

- About your man, right?
- Yes.

He wants me to be totally devoted to him.

So, Alma, this is the typical
pathological narcissist you should avoid.

No, Checco. You didn't get me. My man...

I got it perfectly. This is toxic love.

Let it go, Alma.

Hey, Alberto.

I was looking forward to seeing you.
So, tell me. How did it go?

Do not get too anatomically detailed.

Nothing much. We were out. Now we're back.

- Nothing?
- Nothing.

Are you an Italian guy, Alberto?

Where is my daughter now?

Cristal is downstairs.

Why didn't she come upstairs?

I'll go.

How do you mean? Are you mad?

- Where are you going?
- To see Cristal.

Checco!

Hey.

Checco?

Checco!

- Hey!
- What happened?

Is everything all right?

I felt lost for a second

because of this thing with my daughter.
Frankly, Alma...

It's normal to have doubts at her age.

- Really?
- Didn't you have them?

- No way.
- But your daughter does.

Don't let her feel guilty for that, okay?

Here we are, at the iron cross.

Look, keep this stone.

What shall I do?

Put it under the cross and ask for grace.

Can I ask
for a prince charming for my daughter?

A stone is not enough, isn't it?

You have to give in something valuable.

Let me think.

Bye, my friend.

- Done.
- Great.

I can't believe it. Look at them.

Look at them.

Well, no. Excuse me.

So? I'm giving you something valuable,
a collectible, and I get Chinese junk?

- No fucking way.
- No!

No. Sorry. That's not fair.

- Leave it there. Come on.
- It's not fair!

I demand genuine goods.
They're taking the piss out of me.

- I told you!
- I'm giving you... No, sorry...

No, Doctor Vannucci.
I'll pay you to cure my dad.

- It's as simple as that.
- Be prepared for the worst.

Your father has lost the will to live.
He's let himself go.

- So, let's find the right motivations.
- Okay. Fine.

I'll find them.

Look what I've bought.

No!

- You're famous all over the world.
- It's great. I look so good.

Let's read the article, come on.

Have you actually said that?

What?

"It's nice to show you're rich
to someone who can't afford it."

- I've said that.
- Wow.

You're a generous man, nice one.

- Do you have a pyramid at home?
- Yes, but this is the small one.

I have also an exact replica
of Tutankhamen's.

This is cheap, indeed.

Wow!

Is that your girlfriend?

No! That's Martina Flores. I know her!

That's my girl.
You know her as a top model.

No, I know her
because she went to school with me.

- Were you a teacher?
- How do you mean?

Teacher? No. We were classmates.

You've failed many years. She is 25.

No, she is 31, like me.

- Are you sure?
- I am.

Checco, you're dating an elderly woman.

Love, why are you speaking like this
to your better half?

What better half?

You hid six from me!

Not six. Only four!

I've only been with Marco,
Matteo, Luca, and Giovanni!

- I meant years, Martina.
- Sir, I've only kissed her.

You too?

What a fuck!

Hey.

- Are you okay?
- Let's say so.

- Have you talked to Martina?
- No, I was taking a leak.

- Sorry.
- Hey.

Dad has a tough skin.

I mean, three years ago

I had an even greater disappointment

I haven't told you about,
because I didn't want to make you worry.

That was wrong.

I'd have listened to you.

Sit down.

Her name was Katherine. She was Swiss,

fair hair, blue eyes,

a long neck. She was an angel.

She was a receptionist
at the Bellevue in Saint Moritz.

Did you fall in love with her?

I was head over hills for her.

I rented a suite for a month
just to talk to her.

And she seemed to be quite interested.

She was leading me on.

But then, when I invited her for dinner,
she stabbed my heart.

- I found out that--
- Was she married?

No, she had fat hips.

Unbelievably fat.

A man like me...

The counter hid that. Dad couldn't see it.

This is to teach you
not to be fooled by appearances. Never.

- Will you promise me?
- Yes, I will. Shall we sleep?

No, I'll go to the toilet.

- Haven't you just been there?
- I have to go again.

He has been to the loo
three times already.

The day after as well,
he kept on stopping.

Sorry.

I started to worry for real.

Let's go.

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

But when we reached
the big chestnut tree of Ramil...

- Come on, a pic!
- A pic!

...we knew it was time to do something.

I should ask him what's wrong with him.

But he might feel embarrassed.

- Hey!
- I have to talk to you.

So do I, Cristal.

Look, it's normal
to have doubts at your age.

- How many times per night do you pee?
- What?

Do not mind my sexuality,
mind your own organ. Okay?

- How many?
- How would I know?

Last night I got up ten times,
but it must be the Camino.

- Does it burn when you pee?
- Cristal, what kind of question is that?

Would you answer me?

It does a bit, but it's normal.

Is it hard to start peeing,
and is the flow not consistent?

Cristal, what's got into you?

- What kind of questions are those?
- Yes or no?

- It may occur.
- When you finish,

do you feel like you should pee more?

Look, Cristal,
we have never talked that much,

but do we really have to start all over
by talking about my penis?

What color is your pee? How is it?
Dark? Murky? Is there blood in it?

How would I know? It is dark,
but I don't know if it's the blood that...

- Let's go to the hospital.
- No, why the hospital?

Let's go, or you will never see me again.
To the hospital, now! Come on.

All right. I'll take a leak first.

So, here's where we started from.
Doctor, go on.

So?

The ultrasound shows
a small suspicious mass.

The doctor wants to remove it now.

How is he? Is he okay?

Sure, he's a strong man.

Cristal, I need surgery, I'm scared!

Will you come with me?

Do you know where the doctor
put his finger on me?

I've been abused.

And he didn't use his pinkie, Cristal.

The ring finger would have worked.

But not the index.
And what an index he has!

The surgery went well,

but he couldn't wake up
from the anesthesia.

I was really worried.

But then suddenly...

- Good morning.
- God bless Kocis.

- Hey!
- Checco, get up. We have to go!

He's full of adrenaline.

Hey.

The doctor told me
that nodule could have become malignant.

It's good you pushed him, Cristal.

He has a bit of temperature.

It's normal. Don't worry.

Hello?

Good evening, this is Maurice.
I was looking for Mr. Zalone.

He can't talk to you right now.
Can I take a message?

I mean, there's a party in two days.
I haven't heard from him.

Please, have him call me back.

Let's start with the dress rehearsal!

Let the slaves with the throne enter.

Now the odalisques!

Yes.

What is that ugly old man doing there?
Take him away!

My Lord! I could not find you.
I got worried!

They are organizing
the party for you son, My Lord.

What if he took your job at the company?

- No!
- You don't want that, do you?

You don't?

So, you've to do your best!

My Lord, are you motivated?

Are you? You can do better than that!

Are you motivated? My Lord!

My Lord!
Your son is about to manage the company!

Run, My Lord! Bravo!

He wants to sign some contracts!

A tender offer, My Lord!
He's making a tender offer!

A tender offer, My Lord!

Eyes of the tiger, My Lord!

Where is your son, My Lord?

Where is your son?

We've found him.

We tracked his position
through his mobile phone. He's in Spain.

I knew it.

And where did he take Cristal?
To Ibiza? To Formentera?

Spanish police believe
he's walking the Camino de Santiago.

Checco? The Camino de Santiago?

- Impossible. It's not him.
- It is.

So? Do you want him to finish
the Camino with Cristal,

or shall we intervene?

- Good morning.
- Hello.

I would have liked him
to stay a little longer.

It's too soon for him to leave,
but he's asked us to discharge him.

He wants to go home. So, let it be.

Excuse me.

Apparently your father
wants to be dismissed.

He wants to go back home.

So you'll bring it to the villa
tomorrow morning?

Is it blonder?

Caramel. Perfect. Goodbye.

Why do you want to go home?

- Breakfast for your daddy. How sweet.
- Why do you want to go home?

Because...

Look, Cristal,

your grandpa is reaching the end.

Now it's my turn to manage the company.

That's why you want to go?

I have to take my responsibilities,
and start working.

A certain Maurice called you yesterday.

Maurice? Who's that?

- You don't know him?
- I've many friends, I don't...

- There's a party tomorrow.
- A party?

It may be.

If one works,
they're entitled to some fun, right?

- Have fun, then.
- Hey! Won't you give Daddy a kiss?

Alma, I have 800 guests tomorrow.
It's my 50th birthday party.

I've walked enough for my daughter, right?

Checco! You've walked for yourself!

To ask yourself questions
about why you're here.

Come to my party.

- Really? Can I?
- Do you have an Egyptian costume?

Egyptian?

I don't.

Wait. Let me call Maurice.
What are your measurements?

Checco? Checco! Thank you.

But I want to walk the Camino.

Happy birthday for tomorrow.

- Adiós!
- There are two great DJs tomorrow, but...

Why don't they understand me?

Why?

Hey.

I had a father like yours.

He was very rich.

Filthy rich.

When I finished Medicine at university,

and told him about my life's choice,

and that I wouldn't follow in
his footsteps,

he severed ties with me.

He didn't want to know
anything about my life.

Have you forgiven him?

When he got sick,
I stayed next to him till the end.

It's not about forgiving,

but about loving.

Love doesn't want anything in return.

Tomorrow you'll be in Santiago.

Be there carrying all the love you can.

I made it!

Yes!

Here.

Where shall I look? Ah, okay.

Watch out. Let the sick ones pass through.

Give them space.
Come on, please! Thank you!

Can you keep this for me?

My love.

I love you.

Did you see how happy Cristal was?

I did.

Would you have expected
to get to Santiago with her?

No. And not even with you, Alma.

Better with a top model, right?

No. No more top models.

Alma, I've changed a lot,
and I must tell you something...

I have to give you something. Wait.

- What is it? A "T"?
- Yes, it is.

But it means much more.

Of course.

It stands for...

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Come on, what are you up to, guys?

- Come on!
- Come on, blow the candles!

Checco, we decided to go on
with the Camino.

Doesn't it end in Santiago?

Ending in Santiago?
We have a surprise. Tell him.

We're going to reach the Atlantic Ocean.

No. Cristal, no, come on...

- Come on, let's go!
- Okay.

Great!

Checco!

Walk, walk...

And the Camino ended
at the Atlantic Ocean.

Zero kilometers!

We only had to fulfill
the three rites of the pilgrim:

swimming in the ocean...

Found!

Pick up a scallop...

and going to the beach in the evening
to burn a garment.

But there was a fourth one:
the pilgrim in love.

Aren't you coming?

I'll join you later.

- Alma has a man already.
- I know.

Yes, but you don't understand.

- The man who Alma loves is--
- A prick.

- No.
- A pathological narcissist

who weighs her down,
and we're gonna free her.

- Come on.
- Listen, please--

Look, do you want
to explain love to your dad?

Go, come on.

I'll join you later.

Shall we go?

Are those for me?

Yes.

- So nice, thank you.
- Is there a costume party tonight?

No, Checco.

- No?
- This is not a costume.

Great.

- So, the man you were talking about...
- Jesus.

Wow.

Look, Checco...

I had some doubts.

Religion was making me lose my faith.

But I got my answer
at the end of the Camino.

Are you getting back to the convent
and to your colleagues?

- No.
- No?

I'll be on the road.

I'll walk with my siblings, with joy.

Checco, don't worry.
We'll meet again on the road.

Okay, well, let's make a long story short.

Is this your final choice?

Have you decided
to devote your life to Jesus?

- And not to you?
- Well...

Checco, I'm humble.

- Hey.
- Hey, Cristal.

Look.

This is the Compostela of Saint Jacob,

and this is the Muxiana
I've just collected.

You've made it, Cristal.

I knew it.

Cristal!

Go. You should spend time with your mom.

Cristal!

Come on. She's coming!

Cristal.

Take this, and...

This is fake.

You're much more
than an eighteen year old girl, Cristal.

You're great.

You're special, Cristal.

Here are the signed documents.

- This copy is for you.
- Thank you.

- Have a good trip.
- Goodbye.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Where is Cristal?

González!

- Tell me.
- The girl?

She was right there.

And where is she now?

I don't know where she is.

Sorry.

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

Hey!

Couldn't you hear me?

I heard, "Dad..."

You had never called me like that.

Was I "Dad"?

Yes, that was you.

See? The Camino gave me the answer.

Where are you going now?

I need more answers, I want to walk more.

I'll come with you.

Come on, let's go!

Wait, I have to tell Grandpa
that I'm not coming back.

- Hello? Doctor Vannucci, how are you?
- Great!

Your dad is great, and he's back to work.

And today he's said his first word.

- Really?
- Yes, here he is.

My Lord, it's your son.

- Prick!
- Thank you, Dad.

- What has he said?
- He's motivated me.

Let's go, then.

Buen Camino, my child.

Buen Camino, Dad.

What is it then?
What's in there?

What DNA is in the air?

That leads us here
Without knowing the road

But whatever happens, either way

Buen camino to Dad

BUEN CAMINO TO EVERYONE

This night of love and passion

With the girl of my heart

She's hot and she's waiting for me
But I'm in the toilet to pee

Since three hours I'm standing
And it's not a suite

Hoping to center it

And I finally pee

Everything here! Everything here!

You have the prostatitis
And I'm crying so much

And the urologist was laughing
while taking off his glove

You have the prostatitis
No girls for you

You have the prostatitis
And your balls are blue

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch

And now that we're travelling
I have to stop continuously

On the road from Seville to Granada
I always have to pee

Now my life is sad
No spicy food for me

Because even a little bit

Will make burn my pee!

You have the prostatitis
And I felt attacked

When the urologist
Put his fingers in my back

You have the prostatitis
No girls for you

You have the prostatitis
And your balls are blue

And your balls are blue