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been slaving over this for hours.
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Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers
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to the south call you, Hey Zeus,
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we thank you so much for this bountiful
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harvest of Domino's, KFC, and
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the always delicious Taco Bell.
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I just want to take time to say thank
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you for my family, my two beautiful
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beautiful, handsome, striking sons,
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Walker and Texas Ranger,
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or TR as we call
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and of course my red hot smoking wife,
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Carly, who's a stone cold fox.
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If you were to rate her ass on a
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hundred, it would easily be a 94.
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Also want to thank you for my best
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friend and teammate Cal Naughton Jr.
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who's got my back no matter what.
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Shake and bake.
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Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you
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for my wife's father, Chip. We hope that
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you can use your baby Jesus powers to
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heal him and his horrible leg and it
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smells terrible and the dogs are
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bothering with it.
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Dear tiny infant Jesus,
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>> Hey, um you know, sweetie,
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Jesus did grow up. You don't always have
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to call him baby. It's a bit odd and
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off-putting to pray to a baby.
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>> Look, I like the Christmas Jesus best
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and I'm saying grace.
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When you say grace, you can say it to
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grown-up Jesus or teenage Jesus or
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bearded Jesus or whoever you want. You
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know what I want?
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I want you to do this grace good
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so that God will let us win tomorrow.
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Dear tiny Jesus,
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your golden
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fleece diapers with your tiny little fat
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balled-up fist pawing at
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>> a man. He had a beard. Look, I like the
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baby version the best. Do you hear me? I
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win the races and I get the money.
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>> Ricky,
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finish the damn grace.
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I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo
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t-shirt cuz it says like, "I want to be
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formal, but I'm here to party, too." Cuz
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I like to party, so I like my Jesus to
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party. I like to picture Jesus as a
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ninja fighting off evil samurai. I like
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to think of Jesus like with giant
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eagle's wings and singing lead vocals
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for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel
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band and I'm in the front row and I'm
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hammered drunk. Hey Cal, why don't you
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just shut up?
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>> Yes, ma'am.
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Okay.
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Dear 8-lb 6-oz
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newborn infant Jesus,
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don't even know a word yet, just little
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infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent.
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We just thank you for all the races I've
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won and the 21.2 million dollars. WOO!
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>> WOO! WOO! OW!
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>> ALL THAT money
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that I have accrued over this past
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season. Also, due to a binding
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endorsement contract that stipulates I
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mention Powerade at each grace, I just
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want to say the Powerade is delicious
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and it it cools you off on a hot summer
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day
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and we look forward to Powerade's
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release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
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Thank you for all your power and your
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grace, dear baby God. Amen. Amen. Amen.
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Let's dig in. That was a hell of a
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grace, man.
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You nailed that LIKE A SPLIT HOG.
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>> I appreciate that. I'm not going to lie
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to you, it felt good. Dad, you made that
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grace your [ __ ] Hey boys, I want to
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see some napkins in the lap. Boys, how
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was school today? I threw a bunch of
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Grandpa Chip's war medals off the
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bridge.
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That sounds like a good day.
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Texas Ranger, how about you? Well, the
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teacher asked me what was capital of
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North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C.
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Bingo. Nice.
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>> She said, "No, you're wrong." I said,
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"You got a lumpy butt." She got mad at
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me and yelled at and I pissed in my
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pants and I never did change my pee
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pants all day. I'm still sitting in my
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dirty pee pants. I wet my bed until I
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was 19. There's no shame in that. I get
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emotional.
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You guys are working so hard and
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I'm just so proud of you. You remind me
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of me, precocious and full of
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wonderment. I'll tell you what, Ricky,
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you are truly blessed. These two are two
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in a million.
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>> I am. Just like Carly's ta-tas.
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You won't find another rack like that, I
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guarantee it. Thank you, Cal.
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Come on! Bobby moves to the outside. Not
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a lot of room. He's in the wall! Bobby
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is sliding, slamming into the wall!
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He's airborne!
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Yep, I'm flying through the air. This is
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not good.
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Ricky!
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Cool!
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Ricky!
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Peaches and cream.
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The car comes to rest in a big cloud of
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smoke. Ricky Bobby appears to be okay,
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but that Wonder Bread car is toast.
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Fantastic.
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OH MY GOD!
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RICKY!
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HAKUNA MATATA, [music]
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[ __ ]
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It's okay, guys. It's just a wreck.
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Ricky can handle it. Well, that's one of
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the nastiest wrecks you'll ever see.
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Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh. It's
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all right to say.
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You're safe.
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We got you. We're here. I'M ON FIRE.
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OKAY.
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IT'S ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE NOT ON FIRE.
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>> YOU'RE LYING. RELAX. I'M BURNED!
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COME ON. THERE IS NO FIRE.
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I'M BURNED!
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COME BACK HERE. BUT something looks
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wrong. I mean, he's running around like
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like he's on fire. OH MY GOD, HELP ME! I
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DON'T WANT TO DIE! OH, STOP, DROP, AND
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ROLL! YOU'RE NOT ON FIRE, RICKY BOBBY.
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>> I'M ON FIRE!
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YOU'RE NOT ON FIRE.
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BUT I'M NOT EVEN SURE HE EVEN knows
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where he's at right now. This makes us
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all realize the kind of pressure these
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drivers are under.
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MR. BOBBY, COME ON DOWN HERE. HELP ME,
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JESUS!
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HELP ME, JEWISH GOD! HELP ME, ALLAH!
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[screaming]
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HELP ME, TOM CRUISE!
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>> BUT HOW DID HE GET DOWN to his underwear
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that fast?
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>> TOM CRUISE, USE YOUR WITCHCRAFT ON ME TO
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GET THE FIRE OFF [screaming] ME! LOOK,
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HERE HELP'S COMING. Wait a minute. It's
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00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,960
it's Cal Naughton.
330
00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:15,960
331
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,880
OH MY GOD!
332
00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:17,880
333
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,250
PLEASE DON'T LET THE INVISIBLE FIRE BURN
334
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:19,250
335
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,270
MY FRIEND!
336
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,270
337
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,270
>> [screaming]
339
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,120
>> HE'S JUMPING ON RICKY TRYING to put the
340
00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:27,120
341
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,200
non-existent fire out.
342
00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,200
343
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,120
>> Now, that's a teammate right there. This
344
00:06:29,190 --> 00:06:31,120
345
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:33,660
is going downhill fast. I think it'd be
346
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,660
347
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,800
a great time to go TO COMMERCIAL BREAK.
348
00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:33,800
349
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,720
>> [screaming]
350
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:36,720
351
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,720
>> HELP ME, OPRAH WINFREY! Everyone's real
352
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,720
353
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,040
friendly. I mean, it doesn't hurt being
354
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,040
355
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,880
Ricky Bobby. I'm not going to lie to
356
00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:40,880
357
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,640
you.
358
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,640
359
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,640
So, how's the physical therapy going?
360
00:06:42,630 --> 00:06:44,640
361
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:46,680
Oh, I gave that up.
362
00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:46,680
363
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,480
Yeah, I gave that up after maybe the
364
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,480
365
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,280
first day. Within the first hour I gave
366
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,280
367
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,520
that up. I'm through lying to myself,
368
00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:51,520
369
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,320
you know.
370
00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:53,320
371
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,080
It's time to be mature about this and
372
00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:55,080
373
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,800
just face facts.
374
00:06:55,070 --> 00:06:56,800
375
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:59,600
I bought myself a hundred thousand
376
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:59,600
377
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,840
dollar handicap accessible van with the
378
00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:01,840
379
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,080
captain's chairs and the DVD plasma
380
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,080
381
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,600
screens in the back for the kids.
382
00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:04,600
383
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,640
>> paid up, man? Oh, yeah. That's all paid
384
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:05,640
385
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,200
in full.
386
00:07:05,630 --> 00:07:07,200
387
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:09,120
It's parked out there.
388
00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:09,120
389
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,840
And then the next thing I got to do is I
390
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,840
391
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,920
just got to have a sit-down with Carly
392
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,920
393
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,480
and just let her know
394
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:14,480
395
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:17,560
that uh
396
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:17,560
397
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:19,480
it's okay for her to seek the comfort of
398
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:19,480
399
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,280
other men.
400
00:07:19,470 --> 00:07:21,280
401
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,000
Cuz you know, she's cuz she's got a raw
402
00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:23,000
403
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:25,680
wild you can't keep something like that
404
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:25,680
405
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,960
back. Hold on, man. Hold.
406
00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:27,960
407
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:30,320
I got to tell him. No, I don't care what
408
00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:30,320
409
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:33,080
the doctor said. We got to tell him now.
410
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:33,080
411
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,480
Ricky, the doctor told us that we should
412
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,480
413
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,440
let you work it out in your own sweet
414
00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:37,440
415
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,600
time, but Ricky, you can walk. What did
416
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:38,600
417
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,720
you just say?
418
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:40,720
419
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:43,840
He's telling you the truth, man.
420
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,840
421
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,840
It's all in your head.
423
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:51,320
You sick sons of [ __ ] I mean, you
424
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:51,320
425
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:54,600
walk in that door on your two legs all
426
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:54,600
427
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:57,240
fat and cocky and looking at me in my
428
00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:57,240
429
00:07:54,600 --> 00:08:00,360
chair and you tell me it's all in my
430
00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:00,360
431
00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:03,120
head? I hope that both of you have sons,
432
00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:03,120
433
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:05,520
handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who
434
00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:05,520
435
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,680
are talented and star athletes AND AND
436
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,680
437
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:09,560
THEY HAVE THEIR LEGS TAKEN AWAY. I MEAN,
438
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,560
439
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:11,240
I PRAY YOU KNOW THAT PAIN AND THAT HURT.
440
00:08:09,550 --> 00:08:11,240
441
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,280
DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME, RICKY
442
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:12,280
443
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,480
BOBBY!
444
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:15,480
445
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:19,280
DON'T YOU PUT THAT ON US! YOU ARE NOT
446
00:08:15,470 --> 00:08:19,280
447
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:19,720
PARALYZED! I AM SO PARALYZED. NO, NO,
448
00:08:19,270 --> 00:08:19,720
449
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:20,360
NO.
450
00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:20,360
451
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,600
>> RUB ON HIM NOW.
452
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,600
453
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,960
>> NO, HE NEEDS TO KNOW.
454
00:08:21,590 --> 00:08:23,960
455
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,880
>> OKAY. HE'S ALWAYS CRYING. TOUGH LOVE IT
456
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:24,880
457
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,800
IS. TOUGH LOVE.
458
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,800
459
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,920
>> Wake up, idiot. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I
460
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:27,920
461
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:31,000
AM?
462
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:31,000
463
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,560
YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT MY LIFE IS? DON'T
464
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,560
465
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,280
DON'T DO IT. DO YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT'S
466
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:34,280
467
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:37,200
GOING ON HERE? DON'T YOU STICK THAT
468
00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:37,200
469
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,200
KNIFE in your leg.
471
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,060
OW!
472
00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:44,060
473
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,060
>> [screaming]
475
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,280
>> MAN!
476
00:08:45,710 --> 00:08:47,280
477
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,200
WELL, HOLD ON.
478
00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:48,200
479
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,440
>> [screaming]
480
00:08:48,190 --> 00:08:48,440
481
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,920
>> MAN!
482
00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:49,920
483
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:53,680
>> HOLD ON NOW. HOLD ON. OH, THAT HURT!
484
00:08:49,910 --> 00:08:53,680
485
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,680
WALK IT OFF. OH, MY WALK IT OFF.
487
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:59,480
HEY, MAN, YOU CAN [screaming] WALK. YOU
488
00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:59,480
489
00:08:56,360 --> 00:09:01,960
CAN WALK. I CAN WALK. YOU CAN WALK.
490
00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,960
491
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,960
I CAN WALK.
493
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,600
WE GOT IT. WE GOT IT. HOLD ON RIGHT
494
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:04,600
495
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,400
THERE. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
496
00:09:04,590 --> 00:09:06,400
497
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,590
WAIT, MAYBE MAYBE DON'T TOUCH IT. CAN HE
498
00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:07,590
499
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,240
FEEL IT? YEAH, NO.
500
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:08,240
501
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,800
>> [screaming]
502
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:09,800
503
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:12,080
>> WE'LL USE THIS KNIFE TO PRY IT OUT.
504
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:12,080
505
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,400
>> WE'LL PULL IT OUT. Now we got two now.
506
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:12,400
507
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,920
Two now.
508
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:13,920
509
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,040
>> Just just don't think about it. This is
510
00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:15,040
511
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,120
going down a bad path.
512
00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:17,120
513
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,120
>> Cut around THE MEAT. OKAY. JUST STRETCH
514
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:18,120
515
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,760
IT OUT.
516
00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:19,760
517
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,400
PICK OUT A PLUG AND RIGHT THERE. JUST
518
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,400
519
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,120
LIKE A DEER. WE GOT TO WIGGLE IT JUST A
520
00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:23,120
521
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,400
LITTLE BIT. That's it. YOU FEEL THAT?
522
00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:24,400
523
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,080
YEAH. YEAH.
524
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,080
525
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:28,400
YOU ARE BACK. [screaming] I LOVE YOU
526
00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:28,400
527
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,400
GUYS.
529
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:42,640
STOP HUMMING THAT SONG.
530
00:09:39,590 --> 00:09:42,640
531
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:44,640
I can hum if I want to. I know you can.
532
00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:44,640
533
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:48,160
I'm asking you to stop. Well, if you're
534
00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:48,160
535
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:48,160
asking, then I'll stop. Thank you.
537
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,880
Could you not smile like that?
538
00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:55,880
539
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,600
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
540
00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:57,600
541
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,000
because of how it makes you feel, that I
542
00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:59,000
543
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:02,000
will not do.
544
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:02,000
545
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,000
Hm. Hm.
547
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:07,800
Seriously. Stop humming.
548
00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:07,800
549
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:09,240
Okay? This isn't accounting or whatever
550
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,240
551
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,520
the hell you and your little pocket
552
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:11,520
553
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,240
calculator were transferred from.
554
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,240
555
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,440
Forensic accounting.
556
00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:14,440
557
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,640
Okay, and it's an important part of the
558
00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:14,640
559
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,400
job.
560
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,400
561
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,560
>> Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly
562
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,560
563
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:21,360
happy about doing [ __ ] work, you [ __ ]
564
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:21,360
565
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:23,840
Hey guys, reminder, the police union
566
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,840
567
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,480
picnic's coming up this weekend.
568
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:25,480
569
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,720
Uh my wife's making her famous deviled
570
00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:28,720
571
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:30,520
eggs again. My waistline's furious. It's
572
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,520
573
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,800
a bad time, Bob.
574
00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:32,800
575
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,800
All right.
577
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,800
I'm going to get a slice.
579
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:50,240
You know what I just did?
580
00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,240
581
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,720
I just walked out that door so a couple
582
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,720
583
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,520
detectives know I was about to start
584
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:53,520
585
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,600
badmouthing you behind your back, but I
586
00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:55,600
587
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,040
stopped myself because my pops taught me
588
00:10:55,590 --> 00:10:57,040
589
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,960
that a man who talks behind somebody's
590
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,960
591
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,720
back is a coward. Wow, I actually
592
00:10:58,950 --> 00:10:59,720
593
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,000
appreciate that.
594
00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:01,000
595
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,720
>> Good, cuz I'm going to tell you directly
596
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:01,720
597
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,440
to your face.
598
00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:03,440
599
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,400
>> No, you don't have to. No, I don't like
600
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,400
601
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,520
you.
602
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:06,520
603
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,680
I think you're a fake cop. The sound of
604
00:11:06,510 --> 00:11:08,680
605
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,680
your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds
606
00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:09,680
607
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:11,200
feminine.
608
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,200
609
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,560
If we were in the wild,
610
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:12,560
611
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,400
I would attack you.
612
00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:14,400
613
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:17,480
Even if you weren't in my food chain, I
614
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:17,480
615
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:19,080
would go out of my way to attack you. If
616
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:19,080
617
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,200
I were a lion and you were a tuna, I
618
00:11:19,070 --> 00:11:20,200
619
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,600
would swim out in the middle of the
620
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:22,600
621
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:25,280
ocean and freaking eat you. And then I'd
622
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:25,280
623
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:28,560
bang your tuna girlfriend.
624
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:28,560
625
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:30,640
Okay. First off, a lion
626
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:30,640
627
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:32,520
swimming in the ocean? Lions don't like
628
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,520
629
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,560
water. If you'd placed it near a river
630
00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:34,560
631
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:36,080
or some sort of fresh water source, that
632
00:11:34,550 --> 00:11:36,080
633
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:38,040
makes sense. But you find yourself in
634
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,040
635
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,720
the ocean, 20-ft waves, I'm assuming
636
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,720
637
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:42,480
it's off the coast of South Africa,
638
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:42,480
639
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:45,400
coming up against a full-grown 800-lb
640
00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:45,400
641
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:47,320
tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose
642
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:47,320
643
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,800
that battle. You lose that battle nine
644
00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:48,800
645
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:50,280
times out of 10.
646
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:50,280
647
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:53,200
And guess what? You've wandered into our
648
00:11:50,270 --> 00:11:53,200
649
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:55,040
school of tuna, and we now have a taste
650
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,040
651
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,960
of lion. We've talked to ourselves.
652
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:56,960
653
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,720
We've communicated and said, "YOU KNOW
654
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,720
655
00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:01,440
WHAT? LION tastes good. Let's go get
656
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,440
657
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,640
some more lion." We've developed a
658
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:03,640
659
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:06,440
system to establish a beachhead and
660
00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:06,440
661
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:08,880
aggressively hunt you and your family.
662
00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:08,880
663
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:10,600
And we will corner your your pride, your
664
00:12:08,870 --> 00:12:10,600
665
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,880
children, your offspring.
666
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:12,880
667
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,920
>> We will construct a series of breathing
668
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:14,920
669
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:17,240
apparatus with kelp. We'll be able to
670
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,240
671
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:19,560
trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not
672
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,560
673
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:22,000
going to be days at a time, but hour,
674
00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:22,000
675
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:23,320
hour 45, no problem. That will give us
676
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:23,320
677
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,680
enough time to figure out where you
678
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,680
679
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:27,800
live, go back to the sea, get more
680
00:12:25,670 --> 00:12:27,800
681
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,800
oxygen, and then stalk you. You just
682
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,800
683
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,840
lost to your own game. You're outgunned
684
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,840
685
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,840
and outmanned.
687
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,640
Did that go the way you thought it was
688
00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,640
689
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,000
going to go?
690
00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:40,000
691
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,000
Nope.
693
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,080
OW!
694
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,080
695
00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:42,960
>> [screaming]
696
00:12:42,070 --> 00:12:42,960
697
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,480
>> OW!
698
00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:44,480
699
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,480
OW!
700
00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:45,480
701
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,920
OW!
702
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:46,920
703
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:49,960
FIRE DEPARTMENT SAID IT WAS A GAS LEAK,
704
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:49,960
705
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,880
BUT NO WAY. THAT was timed.
706
00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:50,880
707
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,280
They didn't want to kill us, but they
708
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,280
709
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,360
wanted to scare us. Yeah, well they
710
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:54,360
711
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:56,000
succeeded, okay?
712
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:56,000
713
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,080
I'm tired of this.
714
00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:57,080
715
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,160
Right?
716
00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:59,160
717
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,480
Tired of explosions and people pointing
718
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:00,480
719
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,920
guns at me. I want to go back to my
720
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:01,920
721
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,120
desk.
722
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,120
723
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,040
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and
724
00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:06,040
725
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,480
messes with your ears. You can't escape
726
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:07,480
727
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,040
it by hiding at your desk for your whole
728
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:08,040
729
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,880
life.
730
00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:09,880
731
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,600
>> You know what? Yes, you can. I've done
732
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:11,600
733
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,920
it for years, okay? There's no
734
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,920
735
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:16,040
explosions at my desk.
736
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:16,040
737
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:20,800
There's no EXPLOSIONS AT AT MY home with
738
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:20,800
739
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:20,800
my plain wife in my plain house.
741
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,120
Who are you afraid of, man?
742
00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,120
743
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:28,360
I'm your partner, you can tell me. What
744
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:28,360
745
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,360
the hell are you hiding from?
747
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:34,520
I was a sophomore in college.
748
00:13:32,990 --> 00:13:34,520
749
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,800
The university I went to decided they
750
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:37,800
751
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,800
needed to raise tuition.
753
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:43,080
Classmate of mine, Brenda,
754
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:43,080
755
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:44,920
in an effort to raise money and
756
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:44,920
757
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,280
and stay in school, came up with a nifty
758
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,280
759
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:48,120
plan where she
760
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:48,120
761
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,880
she thought she'd date guys and and
762
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:49,880
763
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,320
charge them money. I go on dates all the
764
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,320
765
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,640
time with a whole bunch of, you know,
766
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:53,640
767
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:55,400
boys and stuff. And I kind of need
768
00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:55,400
769
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,280
somebody to help me out. Like, you know,
770
00:13:55,390 --> 00:13:57,280
771
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,600
my partner in crime. Yeah, I could make
772
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,600
773
00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,370
a I could make a schedule. Yeah, yeah,
774
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:00,370
775
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,760
yeah. That's what I was thinking.
776
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:00,760
777
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:02,400
[music]
778
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,400
779
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,880
>> Provide transportation services.
780
00:14:02,390 --> 00:14:03,880
781
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,240
>> Yeah, yeah.
782
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:05,240
783
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,480
It'd be a good time. Thanks so much for
784
00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:05,480
785
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,760
having
786
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,760
787
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,440
>> she needed my help to make sure that the
788
00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:08,440
789
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,760
dates went okay and that the
790
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,760
791
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,760
the guys paid her.
792
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,760
793
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:14,080
She said she'd give me a percentage.
794
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,080
795
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,160
Oh my god, you were a pimp. What? God,
796
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,160
797
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,320
no.
798
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:17,320
799
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:20,640
No, I was just trying to help a friend.
800
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:20,640
801
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,640
We started making a lot of money.
803
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,600
And wouldn't you know it, some of
804
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:23,600
805
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,480
Brenda's girlfriends
806
00:14:23,590 --> 00:14:26,480
807
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:28,400
decided they wanted to be a part of it.
808
00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:28,400
809
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,840
Pretty soon there were about 14 ladies
810
00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:29,840
811
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,040
that I was protecting while they gave me
812
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:31,040
813
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,360
money.
814
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:33,360
815
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:36,400
That's called a stable horse.
816
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:36,400
817
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:38,920
We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
818
00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:38,920
819
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:41,120
So we came up with the name Gator.
820
00:14:38,910 --> 00:14:41,120
821
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:44,320
Telling you you were a pimp. No. Are you
822
00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:44,320
823
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,320
even listening to the story?
825
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:50,840
Anyway, one day I wake up and I look in
826
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:50,840
827
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,840
the mirror and I don't like what I see.
829
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:55,640
I mean, I I had gotten out of control
830
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:55,640
831
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,880
and I I didn't even realize it.
832
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:56,880
833
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,640
Can't have a conscience in the pimp
834
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:58,640
835
00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,400
game.
836
00:14:58,630 --> 00:15:00,400
837
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,440
One night, two of my favorite girls,
838
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,440
839
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,360
Candy and Jolene, said we got to take
840
00:15:02,430 --> 00:15:03,360
841
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,400
you in. They dropped me off at the
842
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,400
843
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,600
emergency room.
844
00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:07,600
845
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,320
That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
846
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:09,320
847
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,640
I made a promise to myself and to her
848
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,640
849
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:13,080
that I would never get out of control
850
00:15:10,630 --> 00:15:13,080
851
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,080
again.
853
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,200
So as soon as I graduated from college,
854
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,200
855
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:18,280
I became an accountant for the police
856
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,280
857
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:22,000
department.
858
00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:22,000
859
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:22,000
The most stable job I could think of.
861
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,640
An accountant for law and order.
863
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:31,400
I just don't want to ever feel out of
864
00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:31,400
865
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,640
control like that ever again.
866
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:32,640
867
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,400
Don't worry.
868
00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:34,400
869
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,760
I got your back.
870
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:35,760
871
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,320
Why don't we go get Nerushan's grill and
872
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,320
873
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:41,080
see if he cracks? Tired of all this
874
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:41,080
875
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,080
tippy-toeing around. Okay.
877
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,600
Okay, open your eyes.
878
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,600
879
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,840
Whoa.
880
00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:49,840
881
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,840
See that black smudge right there on the
882
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:51,840
883
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:54,080
blade? Yeah.
884
00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:54,080
885
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:56,310
Look at it closely. Pretty recognizable
886
00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:56,310
887
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,840
signature. You know, Randy Jackson
888
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:56,840
889
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:58,480
[music]
890
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,480
891
00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,160
from American Idol. Why do you have
892
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:00,160
893
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,040
Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial
894
00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:02,040
895
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,920
arts weapon? Cuz I bumped into him and
896
00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:03,920
897
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,360
all I had on me was this samurai sword,
898
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:05,360
899
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,200
and you're not going to not get Randy
900
00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:07,200
901
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:10,640
Jackson's autograph, right?
902
00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:10,640
903
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,640
I would've done the exact same thing.
905
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,000
Now,
906
00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,000
907
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,920
do you want to see something really
908
00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:14,920
909
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,760
cool? Of course.
910
00:16:14,910 --> 00:16:17,760
911
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,760
Turn off the lights.
913
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:22,840
Industrial-strength
914
00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:22,840
915
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:24,160
night vision goggles. Holy Santa Claus
916
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:24,160
917
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,600
[ __ ]
918
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,600
919
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:28,200
Can you imagine if we had these when we
920
00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:28,200
921
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,560
were 12? Even better. We got them when
922
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:29,560
923
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,400
we're 40.
924
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,400
925
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,200
You know what's amazing?
926
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:33,200
927
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:37,160
They're not that noticeable on your
928
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:37,160
929
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,160
face. RIGHT? YEAH.
931
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,600
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE BEEN LIVING here
932
00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:40,600
933
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,840
for 2 weeks
934
00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:41,840
935
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,960
and I'm walking around this place
936
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,960
937
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,320
thinking I've got a huge doosher for a
938
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:45,320
939
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:48,160
stepbrother.
940
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:48,160
941
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:50,040
Secretly, you're not a doosher.
942
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:50,040
943
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,440
Let's play a game, all right?
944
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:51,440
945
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,800
On the count of three, name your
946
00:16:51,430 --> 00:16:52,800
947
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,840
favorite dinosaur. Don't even think
948
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:55,840
949
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:58,160
about it, just name it. Ready? 1 2 3.
950
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:58,160
951
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,040
Velociraptor.
952
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,040
953
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,640
Favorite non-pornographic magazine to
954
00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:01,640
955
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:04,320
masturbate to.
956
00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:04,320
957
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:06,200
Good Housekeeping.
958
00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:06,200
959
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:09,000
If you were a chick, who's the one guy
960
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:09,000
961
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:12,640
you'd sleep with? JOHN STAMOS.
962
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:12,640
963
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,920
WHAT? DID WE JUST BECOME BEST YEP.
964
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:13,920
965
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,280
MR. DOBACK.
966
00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:15,280
967
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,680
OKAY, Dale and I were just
968
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,680
969
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:19,200
>> me Mr. Doback. Sorry.
970
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,200
971
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:21,400
Okay, Mom.
972
00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:21,400
973
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,440
Doback.
974
00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:22,440
975
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,120
We
976
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:24,120
977
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:26,840
think it would be very prudent Can we
978
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,840
979
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:28,800
turn our beds into bunk beds? Yes.
980
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,800
981
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,960
Why are you guys so sweaty? All right,
982
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:29,960
983
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,680
we've already figured out how to do
984
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,680
985
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,120
this. The beds match up perfectly. And
986
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,120
987
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,560
here's the thing, it'll give us SO MUCH
988
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:34,560
989
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,160
EXTRA SPACE IN OUR room to do
990
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:35,160
991
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:35,960
activities.
992
00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:35,960
993
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,560
>> Please say yes.
994
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:37,560
995
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,600
>> You don't need permission from us to
996
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,600
997
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:43,640
build bunk beds. You're adults. You can
998
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:43,640
999
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,640
do what you want. So
1001
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:50,400
I'm not making myself clear.
1002
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:50,400
1003
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:51,920
I don't give a [ __ ] Now, you both have
1004
00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:51,920
1005
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,440
several interviews tomorrow. I would
1006
00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,440
1007
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:56,520
think you'd be focused on that and not
1008
00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:56,520
1009
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,520
building bunk beds.
1011
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,160
So [snorts]
1013
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,120
we can? No?
1014
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,120
1015
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,640
Yes.
1016
00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:05,640
1017
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,960
Yes, you can make bunk beds. I knew it.
1018
00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:06,960
1019
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,160
Okay, you guys are not going to regret
1020
00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:08,160
1021
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,080
this. We're going to get so much more
1022
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:10,080
1023
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,240
activities done. This is the FUNNEST
1024
00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,240
1025
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,260
NIGHT EVER.
1026
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:13,260
1027
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,260
>> [laughter]
1029
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,680
>> THIS IS SO SCARY.
1030
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,680
1031
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,080
>> [snorts]
1032
00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:19,080
1033
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,800
>> How you doing over there?
1034
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:20,800
1035
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,000
Really good.
1036
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:22,000
1037
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,320
Okay.
1038
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:23,320
1039
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,800
Does your son know anything about
1040
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:23,800
1041
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,560
carpentry?
1042
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,560
1043
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,320
>> No, not any not any
1044
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:27,320
1045
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,600
Did I hear a drill?
1046
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:29,600
1047
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:32,200
Dale! Power tools. Dale, no power tools.
1048
00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:32,200
1049
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,960
OH, WHAT? NO POWER TOOLS. You know what?
1050
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:33,960
1051
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:37,120
I forgot I HAVE TO BRUSH MY TEETH. That
1052
00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:37,120
1053
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:39,160
is not your toothbrush. Oh, okay. Well,
1054
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:39,160
1055
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:41,400
I'm almost done anyway. We did it. We
1056
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,400
1057
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,240
did it. IT LOOKS AMAZING.
1058
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:42,240
1059
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,360
>> LOOK AT THAT.
1060
00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:43,360
1061
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,960
THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU WHAT YOU WOULD BUY
1062
00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:44,960
1063
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,800
FROM A STORE. You should've been a
1064
00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,800
1065
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,320
>> Look at all the storage space.
1066
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:47,320
1067
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,600
So much
1068
00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:50,600
1069
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:52,400
>> aerobics in here. So many activities.
1070
00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:52,400
1071
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,920
Do you step class? Speaking of my head
1072
00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:53,920
1073
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,000
spinning on the activities we can do.
1074
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:56,000
1075
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,880
Play army men?
1076
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:56,880
1077
00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:00,880
No.
1078
00:18:56,870 --> 00:19:00,880
1079
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,880
This is how we do it.
1081
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,880
Hey, I never asked you. YEAH. YOU LIKE
1082
00:19:02,990 --> 00:19:04,880
1083
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,610
BOCCE BALL?
1084
00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:05,610
1085
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:05,920
OH!
1086
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:05,920
1087
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:07,200
>> [screaming]
1088
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,200
1089
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,520
>> RUN!
1090
00:19:07,190 --> 00:19:08,520
1091
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,680
OH GOD!
1092
00:19:08,510 --> 00:19:09,680
1093
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,840
RUN!
1094
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,840
1095
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,840
RUN!
1097
00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:22,040
>> [singing]
1099
00:19:31,810 --> 00:19:33,830
[singing]
1101
00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:52,170
[singing]
1103
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,200
>> BOATS AND HOES.
1105
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,760
BOATS AND HOES.
1107
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,400
>> [singing]
1109
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,640
[singing]
1111
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,740
[music]
1113
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,320
[singing]
1115
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,940
[music]
1117
00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:05,530
[music]
1119
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,630
[music]
1121
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,900
[singing]
1123
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,320
>> Four minutes. The ones that match the
1124
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:28,320
1125
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,440
seats and kind of went WITH THE
1126
00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:30,440
1127
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:34,000
I TRAVELED 500 MILES TO GIVE YOU MY
1128
00:21:30,430 --> 00:21:34,000
1129
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,000
SEAT. Remember Jack?
1131
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:38,280
>> [screaming]
1133
00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:41,550
[singing]
1135
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,720
[singing and music]
1137
00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:06,440
[music]
1139
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:15,640
[music]
1140
00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:15,640
1141
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:18,040
>> Rock that [ __ ] out of those front seats.
1142
00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:18,040
1143
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,040
I'm sorry.
1145
00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:20,200
>> [music]
1147
00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:25,440
[music]
1149
00:22:42,410 --> 00:22:45,740
[music and screaming]
1150
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,740
1151
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,740
[cheering]
1153
00:22:47,650 --> 00:22:50,320
[music]
1154
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,330
1155
00:22:48,310 --> 00:22:50,330
[cheering]
1157
00:22:52,890 --> 00:22:56,220
[cheering]
1158
00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:56,220
1159
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,220
[applause]
1161
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,440
>> FOR PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE. PRESTIGE
1162
00:23:00,430 --> 00:23:01,440
1163
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,720
WORLDWIDE. [cheering]
1164
00:23:01,430 --> 00:23:02,720
1165
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,080
[ __ ] CATALINA Wine Mixer.
1166
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:03,080
1167
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:07,160
>> [applause]
1168
00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:07,160
1169
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:07,160
>> It's the [ __ ] Catalina Wine Mixer.
1171
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,980
>> [music]
56585
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