All language subtitles for Late Bloomer - 03x06 - Crystals_track5_[eng]

(cars honking in the distance)

(gulping)

(sighs)

(exhales deeply)

(car crashes in the distance,
people arguing)

♪ Bubba Dub Bossa
by Robbie Poitevin ♪

(in English): Fuck you, man.
Didn't they teach you

how to drive
in your country?

- Fuck me? Fuck you! Get some
eyes and get out the road,

before I run your ass over!

- You need to get your fucking
head out of your ass

and watch where the fuck
you're going!

- My head out of my ass?
Fuck you!

- Get back
to your fucking country!

- I've been in this country
longer than your life!

- This is my fucking street!

(ambient music plays,
arguing continues)

(arguing continues lightly
in the background)

(relaxing music plays)

(exhales deeply)

(waves crashing
as relaxing music plays)

(arguing in the background
becomes louder)

(cab driver): ...I've been in
this country more

than your fucking life!
I'm from mother fucking Canada!

(overlapping yelling)
(objects crashing,
glass breaking)

- Can you guys shut the fuck up?

(breathing heavily)

I'm trying to meditate, here.
Please.

- Sorry, man.
- So sorry, my friend.

(Jasmeet): Thank you, just.
Keep it down, alright?

Those are new pillows, please.

(sighs)
God, alright. Thank you.

(inhales deeply)

(homeless man): Maybe if you
knew how to fucking drive,

we wouldn't be disturbing
this gentleman's peace.

(cab driver): Oh!
So this is my fault?

(homeless man): I was just
walking down

the road normal, man.

What the fuck with the way
you're driving!

Put some fucking glasses on.

(cab driver): Go get
a fucking job, bro!

(homeless man): You want me to
get a fucking job?

You stole all
the fucking jobs!

(cab driver): Shut the fuck up!

(arguing continues)

(phone chimes)

(Jasmeet): ...circle jerk of a
movie makes me homophobic,

then fuck it!
I'm homophobic, alright?

(man 2): I... I fucking can't
with straight men.

This is a joke.

How are you going
to sit here and go online

and say you're homophobic?
And, mind you,

on a fucking C-grade podcast
with dumb and dumber 2,

what did you think
was going to happen?

What's the point in living
when, embarrassment--

(knock at the door)

- Hi!
- Oh, my God, hey!

- Hi! The solution
to all your problems is here!

- Come on in!
- Aw, thanks.

So good to see you.
(Jasmeet): How are you?

(Maya): Thanks for letting me
crash while I'm in town.

(Jasmeet): Of course.

(Maya): It's really nice
of you.
- Yeah.

- Oh. Jasmeet, your aura is like
really tense right now.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Is that bait?

- Humans weren't meant for this
level of scrutiny.

People's brains would've
literally exploded

a hundred years ago
if they'd been subjected

to this kind
of Internet hate.

(sighs)
- Yeah. Whatever.

It's fine.

(Maya): Why don't I take
the phone away from you?

- Wait, why?

- Just, trust me. It's to
protect your energy.

- No, look, I was going to make
an apology video,

and I was going to
film it off my iPhone

to make it look more authentic
and real and jus--

- No, no, no. You need to be
present

and process your emotions
at your own pace.

The world will wait for you.
Good things take time.

(inhales sharply)
- Okay. Sure.

- Ooh. Do you think I could do
some laundry?

- Uh, yeah. Go for it.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

(Maya): So, I haven't booked my
flight back home yet.

I hope you don't mind.

- Mm-hmm. So, how was your trip?

(Maya): Oh, my gosh, it was
amazing, are you kidding me?

Yes! I just got back from
Cambodia,

but before that I was
in Japan and then I was

in Thailand and then I was also
in India

and then I made a brief trip

to Sri Lanka as well,
I mean...

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, I am so sweaty.

Do you mind if I take a shower?
(Jasmeet): No, go for it.

The towels are in the, uh...
The towel thing.

(Maya): Oh, my God,
I love your shower!

(water running)

(Jasmeet): That crash out is
going to haunt me for the rest
of my life.

God, I feel like
such an idiot, man.

- Hey. You're not an idiot.

You just weren't given the space
to express yourself.

And what is Prem
even contributing to society?

Clickbait garbage?

- That's what I'm saying,
man, he's trash.

- Yes, complete trash.

- It feels really nice
to be validated.

- Of course. Look, you've just
got to learn from your fuck-ups,

okay? And not repeat them.

Take me, for instance.
I got evicted from my place.

- Wait, what? You got evicted?
- Yeah.

- Are you good?
- Dude, I've never been better.

I'm like travelling,
I'm experiencing life,

I'm making new connections all
across the world, like...

I'm going to use
it all to manifest something
really exciting soon.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- Am I allowed to know what?
- You can guess.

- Okay, well, knowing you,
I'm going to say,

you're going to open up
an orphanage in Cambodia.

- Ooh.

- Or, like a musical centre
for the deaf.

- Close, but no.

I'm going to be on...

Love Island!

(giggling)

Well, I submitted my
application,

I'm just waiting
to hear back now.

- So you're like,
looking for love?

- Well, I mean, it would be a
dream come true.

And I'd probably gain
a bunch of followers.

(sighs)
God,

I just don't care to see my
family's reaction, though,

if they were to see me making
out in a bikini.

Whatever. I mean, I barely talk
to them anyways, so...

- Yeah, I mean. I feel you
on that.

I feel like me and my
dad don't see eye to eye

on anything at all, really.

- You know, it's nothing to feel
guilty about.

I butt heads with
my mom like constantly.

- Yeah, it's like, any time I
try to defend myself,

I can't find
the right words, you know?

- Yeah. That's super common in
Desi households.

We just weren't given a
safe space to express ourselves.

It's like generational.

But with me, you
can say whatever you like, okay?

There's no judgments here.

- Yeah. I like that.

- Trust me. I'm going to level
you up like crazy

while I'm here.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Okay, let's see.
(Maya laughs)

- Oh, my God. Is that a
Chuchumaka Chinga doll?

- Yeah.
- Those are so hard to get!

- Do you want it? Take it.
- Really?

- Yeah, I get so much shit sent
to me,

I'm literally trying
to declutter, so.

- Oh, my God.

Dude, you are literally living
my dream right now.

I've been looking for one
of these for forever.

You're the best. Thank you.

(camera snaps)

(Maya gasps)

What?

(soft RnB music plays)

My followers are going to freak
out. This is amazing!

(Maya laughing)

(Jasmeet): ...I'm going
through puberty,

what do you want me to do?
I'm not going to stand up

in front of the whole Gurdwara.

- I would not want to be you
at that time.

(Jasmeet groans)
- Ugh, so embarrassing.

I should probably clean this up.

- Let me help you.
- No! No, no, no. Relax.

- No, please!

- No! You're the guest, just
chill.

You've done all this travelling,
you hurt your back,

I got you! Just relax, alright?

(Maya): Okay. Thank you
for dinner.

Let me Venmo you
my half.

- We don't have Venmo in
Canada, so. Hehe. It's on me.

(Maya): Okay, well I'll
e-Transfer you-- Oh, God.

(Jasmeet groans)
No, now I have to help you.

(Jasmeet): No. Just chill.
You relax, okay?

(Maya): What are you doing?
(Maya laughing)

- It's a little spill,
it's a tiny spill.

(Maya): Hey, are you a gamer?

(Jasmeet): Yeah.

- What are you, like, 12?

(Jasmeet): Hey. I play good
games, alright?

Not like online
shooters or whatever.

- Mm. Yeah. Video games are
for boys.

Can't really change
my mind on that.

(Jasmeet): Okay. Well, sleeping
arrangements.

Why don't I take the couch,
you take the bed?

- Oh, my God, no! No, no, no.

I always sleep on
the couch, it's fine.

- No, no, no. People come
over all the time

and I take the couch,
it's not an issue--

- No, no, no. Let me take the
couch, you take the bed,

it's your house. Okay?

- Okay. No! No, no, no. I mean,

we could also always just
share, but I don't want to--

- Um. Actually, no, now that you
mention it,

it has been a really long time

since I've had a good night's
sleep, so maybe

I'll take the bed. Yeah?

- Yeah. Sure. No problem.
- Okay.

Alright. Well,
um. Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

♪ Ladke by Shreea Kaul
and REHMA ♪

♪ Ladke, ladke, ladke ♪
♪ Areh baap ♪

(footsteps, Maya talking
in the background)

(Maya): Yeah, I'll probably just
shoot some content

and then do some sightseeing.
Mm-hmm.

Dude, the guy has
so much stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I can get one
for you.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Okay, girl, listen. I'm going to
call you later

and I'm going to
plan the dates, alright?

(Jasmeet grunts)
Okay, bye! Love you.

Oh, my God!
Good morning sleepyhead.

It's like, when does
this guy wake up?

It's almost 9 a.m.

So, how'd you sleep?

- Um. Pretty good, yeah.

I think the no
doomscrolling thing

before bed might be the move.

I do have a slight headache,
though, for some reason.

- Well, maybe it's
the digital withdrawal?

- Yeah...
(Maya chuckles)

- I think I might have
the perfect remedy for that.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

An early morning...

guided... meditation! Up!

- Oh, for real?

- Come on! Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

- Oh, my God, I suck at
meditation, I can't ever focus.

- That's because you don't know
what you're doing.

You've got to follow me.

- Okay.
- Alright.

Breathe in for four.

And breathe out for four.
Good.

Ooh. We should totally use the
new meditation app

that I just launched,
that way I can join in too.

- You have a meditation app?
- Mm-hmm. I do.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- That's pretty cool.
- Thanks.

You should totally post this for
your followers to see

and show them that you're on
a new path now.

- But I thought you wanted me
to be offline?

- When you're back online,
silly!

And don't forget
to tag me, yeah?

It'd really mean a lot.

Thanks.
Okay, let's get started.

(Maya): Welcome to deep soul
peace meditation.

I'm Maya, your guide.

Let's start by sitting
straight, breathing in deep,

and loosening up.

And remember, nothing
makes you feel more loose

than a scoop of Bloomy Bowels
in the morning.

Builds and fortifies your gut
walls and allows

for stools
to pass much easier.

Use my discount code MAYA15 for
15% off your first purchase

and get your gut
blooming healthy yet again.

And now let's just
settle in, another deep breath.

And remember, in order to
breathe deeper and better,

your nasal passages need
to be clear,

that's why I suggest trying
Nostroband,

the nasal strips
that will have you breathing

like your nostrils are
the size of an airplane hangar.

(knock at the door)

(phone beeps)

- I have a little surprise
for us.

- Really?
- Uh-huh.

- Did you get us breakfast?
- Even better!

(Maya laughs excitedly)

Hi!
(man): How are you doing?

(Maya): I'm good!
It's been forever! Come in.

(Maya yelps in excitement)

(man): Whose place is this?

(Maya): Oh, come in.
Let me show you.

(man): Okay.

- Jasmeet. I want you to meet
my good friend Shannon.

He's a holistic healer.

- What's going on, man?
This is a great place, wow.

- Uh, yeah, thank you.
Appreciate it. Nice to meet you.

(Maya): After noticing all the
tension in your body,

I decided to get us
a little at-home session.

(chuckles)

- Okay, um. What kind
of session?

(Shannon): Well, I practise a
wide range of modalities

and I can assure you that both
of you will be nice

and relaxed
when I'm finished.

- Yeah, okay. Right on.

(Shannon): Are there any areas
of concern for you guys?

- Well, I mean, my neck and
shoulders are killing me,

it's probably from the backpack
and all the travelling, so.

- Well, why don't we start
with a little shiatsu massage

like the good old days, huh?

- Ooh, okay.
- What about you, my guy?

- Um. I just, uh, tight hips
and a slight headache.

- Uh, right, right, right.

Your energy is blocked. Reiki.

Reiki is the way to go.
It'll clear things right up.

Where should I set up my things?

(Maya): Ooh, well there's plenty
of room in the bedroom,

why don't we go there?
- Yeah, alright.

- What do you think, Jasmeet?

- Sure. Okay.
(Maya squeals in excitement)

I'll go first.
Come on.

(Shannon): How's your mom,
by the way?

(Maya): She's great, thanks for
asking! That's so sweet.

She's been asking
about you, actually.

(Shannon): Oh, has she?
- I'll just wait out... here.

(Shannon): Okay, let's start
with those glutes.

(Maya laughs)
Lay still, little miss jittery!

(Maya): Oh, yes! Yes!

(Jasmeet): So, do I just lay
here, or?

(Shannon): Oh, yeah. Stay still.

Close your eyes,
close your eyes.

Relax, relax.

Ooh. I'm sensing a lot of
tension

in the forehead region,
right here.

- Probably the headache
I told you about.

(Shannon hums in agreement)
- It's probably the headache.

Hm, interesting.

Oof. Lot of heat coming from
this area over here,

in the groin.
Wow, real tight.

You could use a little bit
of release, huh?

- Yeah, the tight hips
that I mentioned before.

(Shannon): Hm. Alright. We made
some real progress, thank you.

- That's it?

(Shannon): We pinpointed all
your issues, yeah.

- I told you all my issues.
(Shannon chuckles)

- Right. Just stretch a little
bit more, stay hydrated,

drink water,
that's key.

(Jasmeet): Okay.

- So, it's pay what you can.

- Oh. I thought this was like
a hook-up thing.

- We got to pay rent somehow, right?

- Yeah. Yeah, okay.

(machine clicks)

(chuckles)

- So, usually these types
of procedures are around like,

150. And that's on the low end.

(machine clicks)
- Okay.

- Per person. Because Maya.

- Yeah, right.
(machine clicks)

- Great, man.

So it's just going
to ask you one last question.

You got this.

Ah. Unreal.
Thank you so much, man,

for supporting my art.

Stay tight.

(Maya): Thank you so much.

(Shannon): I got you,
my love. Anytime.

(door clicks open and shut)

(Maya laughs)
- What the hell was that?

(Maya): I don't know,

I'm so sorry.

I was trying to be a good
friend and support him.

I think he's new
to all this.

- Yeah, clearly.
- I'm sorry.

Oh! Well, thank you
for paying, though.

It's really nice of you.

- I mean, I didn't really
have a choice.

- Oh, God! Fuck.

Okay. I have another surprise
planned for us,

but it's tonight.

- How about no more surprises

and let's just do something
regular

like go out
or go watch a movie?

- No, no, no, don't be nervous,

it'll be fun.

Plus did you know that
tonight it's a full moon?

- Okay...

- So who knows what kind of
crazy things

could happen
during the full moon?

Okay, look.

I need to go shoot
some content with a friend.

Why don't you meet me at 6
p.m. at Kensington Market?

- Okay.
- Okay?

- Yeah.
- I'll text you.

- 'Kay. Sounds good.
- Okay. Bye.

- See you.
(tense music)

(Sunny): You're telling me you
still haven't cracked that?

(Jasmeet): No, I don't know
what's going on, man,

like it's flirty, but,

I don't know, the
vibe just feels off.

(Neal): Maybe you're
friend-zoned?

Women are like horses.

Like, they're beautiful and
you've just got to let them go.

- What the fuck does that mean?
- I don't know.

- Yo, how long
is she staying for?

- Bro, that's the thing man,

she hasn't even booked her
flight back yet.

And on top of that,
she applied to Love Island.

I'm like, "Why, bro?"
The love is right here!

And the island is right here.

- Man, that shit isn't even
real anyways,

they just do that
to go viral.

- Dude, she brought one of her
homies in

to do like a massage
reiki session.

The guy didn't do nothing.
(Sunny): It was a dude?

- Yeah, man! It was a dude!
And he was hot!

He was really hot.
(Neal): What's his name?

- Shannon.
- I know that guy.

- You do?
- Yeah. He fixed me.

- He didn't do shit for me.
- It was amazing.

- On top of that,
$150 for a person.

(Sonny): 150?
- 150 per person, $300.

Plus tip.
- What the f--

(Neal): That's crazy.

- And also, she has some like
ritual planned for me tonight,

like a full moon thing.
It's like,

can't we have just
like a regular date, you know?

Just like hold hands,
go watch a movie.

(Sonny): Yeah.
- Look at the turtles
in the lake.

- Look at the turtles
in the lake.

Count the doves
in the sky.

- Steal a truck.
- Steal a truck...

I don't know, man.

I feel like I just got to talk
to somebody that gets it.

I've got to talk
to a chick, you know?

(mysterious music)

- Don't even think about it!
Boundaries, man!

Got to respect women.

Plus, all good pussy
costs money, no matter what.

- Look. Think of everything you
could learn, right?

The moon is like a beautiful
planet, I'm learning so much.

I've been seeing this girl,
she's like--

- Wait, really? Since when?

- I don't know, like,
three weeks?

She's from a different country,
she speaks another language,
it's--

- How did you even meet
this girl?
- At work.

Dude, I feel like I'm finally
realizing who Neal is,

like deep down.
I feel like a...

(in Punjabi): ...new man.

(in English): Yo, look
at this guy

picking up his mother tongue.

- Not bad.
- Anyways, he's right.

You're the universe experiencing
itself

through interesting experiences.

If you play it safe and boring,

you're just going
to get deleted.

- Huh. That's really profound.

Okay. Yeah, no,
I'll do the full moon thing.

(Sonny): See,
you don't need Chippy.

(phone vibrates)

Ah, fuck.

I fucking told you, man.

Look, I don't have a driver
right now,

what the fuck you want me
to do?

- What's going on with him?

- I don't know, some
client's pissed off.

- I can't fucking
do it right now--

- Alright, I got to go study.

- Study? Study for what?

- Just life. Studying life.

Don't worry about it.
- Okay.

- Fuck you. I love you.
- Alright.

(light music)

- Oora.
- Oora.

- Aira.
- Aira.

(Janat): Eerie.
(Neal): Eerie.

Eerie like eyes.

- Aira, like eyes.
- Aira like eyes.

(Neal mutters)
Ai-really like your eyes.

(chuckles)
They're so, sasa-sensual.

(laughs)
- Stop it! You sasa-silly.

(Neal): Haahaahaahaa.
(Janat laughs)

- You need to phapha focus.

(Neal): These are just all
things a baby says.

- Stop.

- Like, every baby can speak
Punjabi, they're like,

"Daddaa."
"Boo-boo-bah-bah."

"Pah pah pah"--
- Okay, get serious.

- Za za, that's weed.
(Janat laughs)

(man): Hey,
shut the fuck up, man!

♪ Life Could Be Wonderful
by Charles Segal ♪

♪ Life could be wonderful
it could be a breeze ♪

♪ Like the bluebells in spring
and the humming bees ♪

♪ Walking down the avenue hand
in hand with you ♪

♪ Makes me feel
like a bird in the trees ♪

♪ One moonlight night
counting stars with you ♪

♪ And that smile on your face
and the twinkle in your eyes ♪

♪ Makes me feel as though
I'm going into space ♪

♪ Life can be wonderful
to be with you ♪

♪ I'd spend my whole life
through making love to you ♪

♪ Life can be beautiful
with your charming ways ♪

♪ Every moment I'd spend ♪
(music stops abruptly)

(indistinct chatter)

(soft music)

(Maya): Oh, my God.

(Jasmeet): Nice. It's the Harry
Potter wand store.

- Oh, my God, here, come here.
(gasps)

Aren't these so pretty?

(Jasmeet): The rocks?
What am I looking at?

- They're crystals, Jasmeet.

And they're very powerful, okay?

Different energies that align
with different frequencies
and chakras.

(Jasmeet): Damn, what the hell,
$50 for a tiny ass pink rock?

(Maya): Shh. Pick one.

(Jasmeet): For who? For me?

- Yes! I want you to use
your intuition

and see what you
resonate with.

- Okay.
Hm.

(Maya): Ooh.
(Jasmeet): Yeah.

- Okay, okay. What drew you
to this one?

- Well, it just feels like it's
the best one to skip.

I'm using the same thought
process I would

if I were at a beach,
you know?

Just feel like
it's so flat and smooth, just.

I could get like eight, nine
skips out of this one

if I really kind
of angle it right.

Thank you so much. It's perfect.

- Okay. I don't appreciate you
making fun

of something
this powerful.

(scoffs)
- Are you for real?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You're being childish.

- I was just joking.

- I am just the type of person
that uses truth with my words,

I don't use humour
as an avoidant technique.

- You joke around
with me all the time.

Okay. Fine. My bad.

- Ooh. Okay. A Blue Tiger Eye.

Connected to the throat chakra.

- What's that mean?

- It means it helps
with communication.

Something you may
be lacking in.

(chuckles softly)

- Okay, I'm not that bad,
I literally talk for a living.

Whatever man.
I'm the throat goat, shit.

(tense music)

(cashier): Oh, wow, what a
beautiful selection.

- Aw, thank you.

(cashier): Your total is $553,

will that be cash or card?
- Uh...

What the fuck? How?

Uh, yeah. Card is fine.

(cashier): Okay,
tap whenever you're ready.

(machine dings)
(cashier chatters indistinctly)

(Maya): First, let us write down
whatever we want

to let go of on
this piece of paper.

- Okay. Me first?
- Mm-hmm.

(Jasmeet sighs)

- What do I want to let go of,
what do I want to let go of?

(Maya): Just let it come to you.

Then we'll charge the crystals
under the moon overnight

to maximize
their healing power.

(pencil scratches softly)

Ready?
(Jasmeet): Yeah.

Oh shit, pyrotechnics.
Let's go.

- Shh.
- Okay, sorry.

- Now we burn away what doesn't
serve us anymore.

(both exhale deeply)

(soft music)

Step one, done. How do you feel?

- Honestly, I feel pretty good,
not going to lie.

- Right?
- Yeah.

I mean I was almost
tempted to make fun of it again

but that felt nice.
I feel lighter.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

- That's so good.
- Yeah, yeah. I love that.

(phone chimes)

(Maya): Shit.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah. Yeah, no,
everything's fine.

Okay, let's just get these
crystals charged, yeah?

Can I just use your balcony?
(Jasmeet): Yeah, go for it.

- Okay.

(sighs)

(door clicks open and shut)

(Maya screams)

Fuck! Are you fucking serious
right now! What the fuck!

Argh! Oh, my God, Jasmeet,

were you not going
to mention

that you have a shitty ass
view that doesn't even

face the direction
of the moon?

- Wait, are you okay?
What's going on?

- Don't you have another balcony
or something?

- No, this is the only balcony.
What am I, the Pope?

- Well, can we use
a neighbour's balcony?

- No.
(Maya): Why not?

- Because I'm not going to go
ask the neighbours

if we can use their balcony to
charge a bunch of rocks.

- God, why?
- Because it's a weird request.

(Maya): Oh, my God, Jasmeet,
look, I am fucking going

through it right now, okay?

And I really needed these
crystals charged tonight

because I really needed
their guidance--
- Okay. Okay.

(Maya): ...but your tiny ass
place with
its shitty ass balcony

is totally fucking me over
right now!

(Jasmeet): Hold on.
What is going on?

Look, why don't we just
leave these crystals out, right?

The moon will get to a
certain point in the sky--

- Oh, my God, Jasmeet!

- ...it'll shine between the
buildings and you'll get like,

some sort of charge?
Like 20-30%?

It's better
than nothing, yeah?

- Is this another one of your
stupid fucking jokes?

Like seriously,
what is wrong with you?

(sighs)

(Jasmeet): Look, I don't know,
man, I'm just trying to...

I'm just trying to help, okay?
I don't know how this all works.

- You should have a bigger
spot without a shit view.

Are you not supposed to be
successful or something?

(background music
halts suddenly)

- Wow.

- You know what? Fuck it.
I'm going to sleep.

(door opens and closes)

(sirens blare softly
in the background)

(horn honks in the distance,
train passes)

(Jasmeet groans softly)

(sighs)

(Maya): And so I'm thinking,

maybe I travel to Bali for
another two to three months

and go to Thailand from there.
- Nice.

- Oh! And I also have this
amazing friend in Budapest

who's got this beautiful
wellness scene

that I could
totally tap in with.

- Yeah, sounds dope.

- Okay. What is with you?

- What?
- You are so closed off
right now!

Look at your body language.

Your arms are crossed,
you have no expression

on your face,
you're so distant.

- Yeah, I don't know,
I'm just like, whatever.

- Oh, my God! Use your words!

(sighs)

- You're just going to act like
whatever happened last night
wasn't weird?

(Maya): Weird? It was actually
quite upsetting.

I just found out I didn't make
it to Love Island.

And I'd
rather not talk about it.

- So you just take your
frustration out on me

in my condo instead?

(Maya): You don't take
anything seriously.

- Your problem is you take
things way too seriously.

- Okay, you know what? I am
doing the work

to align with my higher
self and higher purpose.

So I'm very sorry if
that's not fun for you,

but I do not take
that lightly.

I'm not like you,

holding yourself
back from abundance, Jasmeet.

You should totally have
a bigger place

considering who you are
and all the influence you have.

Is that so wrong?

- I'm living within my means.

(Maya): No. You don't live
abundantly.

I'm being serious.
- Oh, my God.

- You could be manifesting and
aligning your 4D self

with more money
and a bigger apartment,

but instead, Jasmeet,
you are too stuck in the 3D.

(Maya sighs)

- What the hell does
that even mean?

Like, you just love throwing
around all these weird terms,

no explanation.

How am I supposed to understand
what you're saying?

Like, do you even
know what you're saying?

(Maya): Of course.
- Okay. Explain it, then.

- Explain what?

- Explain whatever the hell it
is you're trying to say.

And use regular words
that ordinary humans understand.

Go ahead.
Go ahead!

- Fine.
(inhales sharply)

If you had signed a lease on a
bigger apartment,

even if it cost you
a few thousand more,

the universe would've provided
you the extra cash flow

if you had reprogrammed your
subconscious mind

to allow for more space
to attract more abundance.

- Of course.
- It's that easy.

- It's that easy, of course.

What the fuck does that
even mean?

Like what are you saying?

"Just wish for money
and it magically appears?"

- You wouldn't understand.

(Jasmeet): No, I don't think
you understand.

What about the work it takes?

- You just haven't reached that
stage of enlightenment.

There's levels to this.
(Jasmeet sighs)

- I can't with you, man.

You're just a completely
different person.

(Maya): What do you mean?
- You're just so different now.

(Maya): No, I've always been
this way.

- No, you haven't.

You used to be way cooler
and way more chill.

But now you've adopted
this like fake,

surface-level woke
Instagram persona

and you don't even understand
what it is,

I think it's all bullshit.
- Really?

(Jasmeet): Yeah. And you're
always preaching about
like healing and alignment,

but you yourself aren't even any
of those things.

You're a mess.

- Wow.

(Jasmeet): And on top of that,

you're entitled, okay?

You expect princess treatment
everywhere we go,

you're using me for clout,

and then you dangle your
sexuality in front of me,

like, for what? Just so
you have a place to stay?

- I thought you were being a
nice friend to me

by offering me a place to stay.
Now you expect sex?

(Jasmeet): No. Look, I just
barely got over my ex, alright?

And then you came back into my
life and...

I thought this would
be something special.

- So you just used me to get
over your ex?

(Jasmeet): No. I liked you.

(Maya): And I like you too.

- No, you don't.
(Maya): I do!

- No! You don't!
You're just a hobosexual.

- A what?

- A person who dates somebody
just to have a place to live.

And at this point
I'm becoming extremely...

Hobophobic.

- I'm sorry?

- I appreciate everything you
did for me, okay?

You really helped me
a lot, and I'm very thankful.

But I just can't go through
the ups and downs anymore.

I'm done. Okay?

I think you should book
your flight back.

Now. Or find
somewhere else to stay.

(Jasmeet sighs)

- Looks like I finally got it to
open up after all.

This chicken is really good.

Well... Thanks, again,
for letting me crash. Um.

I left your phone on charge
for you in your bedroom, so.

Okay.

Oh! Um. Would you mind just
making a quick video

of me entering
in your place?

I just, uh, it's the last bit of
my Toronto vlog

that I have left.

If you could just hold the
phone up right, yep, right here.

Okay, um...

Sorry, I'll just take
two seconds,

just want to finish
the vlog.

Okay...

Just...

Can you just make sure
it's framed up right?

I'm just going to enter into
the unit

and you just make sure it's--

What are you doing?

(Maya protesting)
(lock clicks)

(Jasmeet screams in relief)
- Yes! Yes, thank you, God!

Finally, fuck!
(continues screaming)

Yeah! Whoo!

Oh, my God.

(sighs)

Alright.

(duck quacks softly, waves lap)

(dramatic music)

♪ Bubba Dub Bossa
by Robbie Poitevin ♪

(exhales softly)

(seagulls squawk)

♪ Bubba Dub Bossa
by Robbie Poitevin ♪

Subtitling: difuze