Original subtitles

(cars honking in the distance)

(gulping)

(sighs)

(exhales deeply)

(car crashes in the distance, people arguing)

♪ Bubba Dub Bossa by Robbie Poitevin ♪

(in English): Fuck you, man. Didn't they teach you

how to drive in your country?

- Fuck me? Fuck you! Get some eyes and get out the road,

before I run your ass over!

- You need to get your fucking head out of your ass

and watch where the fuck you're going!

- My head out of my ass? Fuck you!

- Get back to your fucking country!

- I've been in this country longer than your life!

- This is my fucking street!

(ambient music plays, arguing continues)

(arguing continues lightly in the background)

(relaxing music plays)

(exhales deeply)

(waves crashing as relaxing music plays)

(arguing in the background becomes louder)

(cab driver): ...I've been in this country more

than your fucking life! I'm from mother fucking Canada!

(overlapping yelling) (objects crashing, glass breaking)

- Can you guys shut the fuck up?

(breathing heavily)

I'm trying to meditate, here. Please.

- Sorry, man. - So sorry, my friend.

(Jasmeet): Thank you, just. Keep it down, alright?

Those are new pillows, please.

(sighs) God, alright. Thank you.

(inhales deeply)

(homeless man): Maybe if you knew how to fucking drive,

we wouldn't be disturbing this gentleman's peace.

(cab driver): Oh! So this is my fault?

(homeless man): I was just walking down

the road normal, man.

What the fuck with the way you're driving!

Put some fucking glasses on.

(cab driver): Go get a fucking job, bro!

(homeless man): You want me to get a fucking job?

You stole all the fucking jobs!

(cab driver): Shut the fuck up!

(arguing continues)

(phone chimes)

(Jasmeet): ...circle jerk of a movie makes me homophobic,

then fuck it! I'm homophobic, alright?

(man 2): I... I fucking can't with straight men.

This is a joke.

How are you going to sit here and go online

and say you're homophobic? And, mind you,

on a fucking C-grade podcast with dumb and dumber 2,

what did you think was going to happen?

What's the point in living when, embarrassment--

(knock at the door)

- Hi! - Oh, my God, hey!

- Hi! The solution to all your problems is here!

- Come on in! - Aw, thanks.

So good to see you. (Jasmeet): How are you?

(Maya): Thanks for letting me crash while I'm in town.

(Jasmeet): Of course.

(Maya): It's really nice of you. - Yeah.

- Oh. Jasmeet, your aura is like really tense right now.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Is that bait?

- Humans weren't meant for this level of scrutiny.

People's brains would've literally exploded

a hundred years ago if they'd been subjected

to this kind of Internet hate.

(sighs) - Yeah. Whatever.

It's fine.

(Maya): Why don't I take the phone away from you?

- Wait, why?

- Just, trust me. It's to protect your energy.

- No, look, I was going to make an apology video,

and I was going to film it off my iPhone

to make it look more authentic and real and jus--

- No, no, no. You need to be present

and process your emotions at your own pace.

The world will wait for you. Good things take time.

(inhales sharply) - Okay. Sure.

- Ooh. Do you think I could do some laundry?

- Uh, yeah. Go for it.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

(Maya): So, I haven't booked my flight back home yet.

I hope you don't mind.

- Mm-hmm. So, how was your trip?

(Maya): Oh, my gosh, it was amazing, are you kidding me?

Yes! I just got back from Cambodia,

but before that I was in Japan and then I was

in Thailand and then I was also in India

and then I made a brief trip

to Sri Lanka as well, I mean...

- Yeah. - Oh, my God, I am so sweaty.

Do you mind if I take a shower? (Jasmeet): No, go for it.

The towels are in the, uh... The towel thing.

(Maya): Oh, my God, I love your shower!

(water running)

(Jasmeet): That crash out is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

God, I feel like such an idiot, man.

- Hey. You're not an idiot.

You just weren't given the space to express yourself.

And what is Prem even contributing to society?

Clickbait garbage?

- That's what I'm saying, man, he's trash.

- Yes, complete trash.

- It feels really nice to be validated.

- Of course. Look, you've just got to learn from your fuck-ups,

okay? And not repeat them.

Take me, for instance. I got evicted from my place.

- Wait, what? You got evicted? - Yeah.

- Are you good? - Dude, I've never been better.

I'm like travelling, I'm experiencing life,

I'm making new connections all across the world, like...

I'm going to use it all to manifest something really exciting soon.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- Am I allowed to know what? - You can guess.

- Okay, well, knowing you, I'm going to say,

you're going to open up an orphanage in Cambodia.

- Ooh.

- Or, like a musical centre for the deaf.

- Close, but no.

I'm going to be on...

Love Island!

(giggling)

Well, I submitted my application,

I'm just waiting to hear back now.

- So you're like, looking for love?

- Well, I mean, it would be a dream come true.

And I'd probably gain a bunch of followers.

(sighs) God,

I just don't care to see my family's reaction, though,

if they were to see me making out in a bikini.

Whatever. I mean, I barely talk to them anyways, so...

- Yeah, I mean. I feel you on that.

I feel like me and my dad don't see eye to eye

on anything at all, really.

- You know, it's nothing to feel guilty about.

I butt heads with my mom like constantly.

- Yeah, it's like, any time I try to defend myself,

I can't find the right words, you know?

- Yeah. That's super common in Desi households.

We just weren't given a safe space to express ourselves.

It's like generational.

But with me, you can say whatever you like, okay?

There's no judgments here.

- Yeah. I like that.

- Trust me. I'm going to level you up like crazy

while I'm here.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

- Okay, let's see. (Maya laughs)

- Oh, my God. Is that a Chuchumaka Chinga doll?

- Yeah. - Those are so hard to get!

- Do you want it? Take it. - Really?

- Yeah, I get so much shit sent to me,

I'm literally trying to declutter, so.

- Oh, my God.

Dude, you are literally living my dream right now.

I've been looking for one of these for forever.

You're the best. Thank you.

(camera snaps)

(Maya gasps)

What?

(soft RnB music plays)

My followers are going to freak out. This is amazing!

(Maya laughing)

(Jasmeet): ...I'm going through puberty,

what do you want me to do? I'm not going to stand up

in front of the whole Gurdwara.

- I would not want to be you at that time.

(Jasmeet groans) - Ugh, so embarrassing.

I should probably clean this up.

- Let me help you. - No! No, no, no. Relax.

- No, please!

- No! You're the guest, just chill.

You've done all this travelling, you hurt your back,

I got you! Just relax, alright?

(Maya): Okay. Thank you for dinner.

Let me Venmo you my half.

- We don't have Venmo in Canada, so. Hehe. It's on me.

(Maya): Okay, well I'll e-Transfer you-- Oh, God.

(Jasmeet groans) No, now I have to help you.

(Jasmeet): No. Just chill. You relax, okay?

(Maya): What are you doing? (Maya laughing)

- It's a little spill, it's a tiny spill.

(Maya): Hey, are you a gamer?

(Jasmeet): Yeah.

- What are you, like, 12?

(Jasmeet): Hey. I play good games, alright?

Not like online shooters or whatever.

- Mm. Yeah. Video games are for boys.

Can't really change my mind on that.

(Jasmeet): Okay. Well, sleeping arrangements.

Why don't I take the couch, you take the bed?

- Oh, my God, no! No, no, no.

I always sleep on the couch, it's fine.

- No, no, no. People come over all the time

and I take the couch, it's not an issue--

- No, no, no. Let me take the couch, you take the bed,

it's your house. Okay?

- Okay. No! No, no, no. I mean,

we could also always just share, but I don't want to--

- Um. Actually, no, now that you mention it,

it has been a really long time

since I've had a good night's sleep, so maybe

I'll take the bed. Yeah?

- Yeah. Sure. No problem. - Okay.

Alright. Well, um. Goodnight. - Goodnight.

♪ Ladke by Shreea Kaul and REHMA ♪

♪ Ladke, ladke, ladke ♪ ♪ Areh baap ♪

(footsteps, Maya talking in the background)

(Maya): Yeah, I'll probably just shoot some content

and then do some sightseeing. Mm-hmm.

Dude, the guy has so much stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I can get one for you.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Okay, girl, listen. I'm going to call you later

and I'm going to plan the dates, alright?

(Jasmeet grunts) Okay, bye! Love you.

Oh, my God! Good morning sleepyhead.

It's like, when does this guy wake up?

It's almost 9 a.m.

So, how'd you sleep?

- Um. Pretty good, yeah.

I think the no doomscrolling thing

before bed might be the move.

I do have a slight headache, though, for some reason.

- Well, maybe it's the digital withdrawal?

- Yeah... (Maya chuckles)

- I think I might have the perfect remedy for that.

- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.

An early morning...

guided... meditation! Up!

- Oh, for real?

- Come on! Come on, come on, come on, come on.

- Oh, my God, I suck at meditation, I can't ever focus.

- That's because you don't know what you're doing.

You've got to follow me.

- Okay. - Alright.

Breathe in for four.

And breathe out for four. Good.

Ooh. We should totally use the new meditation app

that I just launched, that way I can join in too.

- You have a meditation app? - Mm-hmm. I do.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- That's pretty cool. - Thanks.

You should totally post this for your followers to see

and show them that you're on a new path now.

- But I thought you wanted me to be offline?

- When you're back online, silly!

And don't forget to tag me, yeah?

It'd really mean a lot.

Thanks. Okay, let's get started.

(Maya): Welcome to deep soul peace meditation.

I'm Maya, your guide.

Let's start by sitting straight, breathing in deep,

and loosening up.

And remember, nothing makes you feel more loose

than a scoop of Bloomy Bowels in the morning.

Builds and fortifies your gut walls and allows

for stools to pass much easier.

Use my discount code MAYA15 for 15% off your first purchase

and get your gut blooming healthy yet again.

And now let's just settle in, another deep breath.

And remember, in order to breathe deeper and better,

your nasal passages need to be clear,

that's why I suggest trying Nostroband,

the nasal strips that will have you breathing

like your nostrils are the size of an airplane hangar.

(knock at the door)

(phone beeps)

- I have a little surprise for us.

- Really? - Uh-huh.

- Did you get us breakfast? - Even better!

(Maya laughs excitedly)

Hi! (man): How are you doing?

(Maya): I'm good! It's been forever! Come in.

(Maya yelps in excitement)

(man): Whose place is this?

(Maya): Oh, come in. Let me show you.

(man): Okay.

- Jasmeet. I want you to meet my good friend Shannon.

He's a holistic healer.

- What's going on, man? This is a great place, wow.

- Uh, yeah, thank you. Appreciate it. Nice to meet you.

(Maya): After noticing all the tension in your body,

I decided to get us a little at-home session.

(chuckles)

- Okay, um. What kind of session?

(Shannon): Well, I practise a wide range of modalities

and I can assure you that both of you will be nice

and relaxed when I'm finished.

- Yeah, okay. Right on.

(Shannon): Are there any areas of concern for you guys?

- Well, I mean, my neck and shoulders are killing me,

it's probably from the backpack and all the travelling, so.

- Well, why don't we start with a little shiatsu massage

like the good old days, huh?

- Ooh, okay. - What about you, my guy?

- Um. I just, uh, tight hips and a slight headache.

- Uh, right, right, right.

Your energy is blocked. Reiki.

Reiki is the way to go. It'll clear things right up.

Where should I set up my things?

(Maya): Ooh, well there's plenty of room in the bedroom,

why don't we go there? - Yeah, alright.

- What do you think, Jasmeet?

- Sure. Okay. (Maya squeals in excitement)

I'll go first. Come on.

(Shannon): How's your mom, by the way?

(Maya): She's great, thanks for asking! That's so sweet.

She's been asking about you, actually.

(Shannon): Oh, has she? - I'll just wait out... here.

(Shannon): Okay, let's start with those glutes.

(Maya laughs) Lay still, little miss jittery!

(Maya): Oh, yes! Yes!

(Jasmeet): So, do I just lay here, or?

(Shannon): Oh, yeah. Stay still.

Close your eyes, close your eyes.

Relax, relax.

Ooh. I'm sensing a lot of tension

in the forehead region, right here.

- Probably the headache I told you about.

(Shannon hums in agreement) - It's probably the headache.

Hm, interesting.

Oof. Lot of heat coming from this area over here,

in the groin. Wow, real tight.

You could use a little bit of release, huh?

- Yeah, the tight hips that I mentioned before.

(Shannon): Hm. Alright. We made some real progress, thank you.

- That's it?

(Shannon): We pinpointed all your issues, yeah.

- I told you all my issues. (Shannon chuckles)

- Right. Just stretch a little bit more, stay hydrated,

drink water, that's key.

(Jasmeet): Okay.

- So, it's pay what you can.

- Oh. I thought this was like a hook-up thing.

- We got to pay rent somehow, right?

- Yeah. Yeah, okay.

(machine clicks)

(chuckles)

- So, usually these types of procedures are around like,

150. And that's on the low end.

(machine clicks) - Okay.

- Per person. Because Maya.

- Yeah, right. (machine clicks)

- Great, man.

So it's just going to ask you one last question.

You got this.

Ah. Unreal. Thank you so much, man,

for supporting my art.

Stay tight.

(Maya): Thank you so much.

(Shannon): I got you, my love. Anytime.

(door clicks open and shut)

(Maya laughs) - What the hell was that?

(Maya): I don't know,

I'm so sorry.

I was trying to be a good friend and support him.

I think he's new to all this.

- Yeah, clearly. - I'm sorry.

Oh! Well, thank you for paying, though.

It's really nice of you.

- I mean, I didn't really have a choice.

- Oh, God! Fuck.

Okay. I have another surprise planned for us,

but it's tonight.

- How about no more surprises

and let's just do something regular

like go out or go watch a movie?

- No, no, no, don't be nervous,

it'll be fun.

Plus did you know that tonight it's a full moon?

- Okay...

- So who knows what kind of crazy things

could happen during the full moon?

Okay, look.

I need to go shoot some content with a friend.

Why don't you meet me at 6 p.m. at Kensington Market?

- Okay. - Okay?

- Yeah. - I'll text you.

- 'Kay. Sounds good. - Okay. Bye.

- See you. (tense music)

(Sunny): You're telling me you still haven't cracked that?

(Jasmeet): No, I don't know what's going on, man,

like it's flirty, but,

I don't know, the vibe just feels off.

(Neal): Maybe you're friend-zoned?

Women are like horses.

Like, they're beautiful and you've just got to let them go.

- What the fuck does that mean? - I don't know.

- Yo, how long is she staying for?

- Bro, that's the thing man,

she hasn't even booked her flight back yet.

And on top of that, she applied to Love Island.

I'm like, "Why, bro?" The love is right here!

And the island is right here.

- Man, that shit isn't even real anyways,

they just do that to go viral.

- Dude, she brought one of her homies in

to do like a massage reiki session.

The guy didn't do nothing. (Sunny): It was a dude?

- Yeah, man! It was a dude! And he was hot!

He was really hot. (Neal): What's his name?

- Shannon. - I know that guy.

- You do? - Yeah. He fixed me.

- He didn't do shit for me. - It was amazing.

- On top of that, $150 for a person.

(Sonny): 150? - 150 per person, $300.

Plus tip. - What the f--

(Neal): That's crazy.

- And also, she has some like ritual planned for me tonight,

like a full moon thing. It's like,

can't we have just like a regular date, you know?

Just like hold hands, go watch a movie.

(Sonny): Yeah. - Look at the turtles in the lake.

- Look at the turtles in the lake.

Count the doves in the sky.

- Steal a truck. - Steal a truck...

I don't know, man.

I feel like I just got to talk to somebody that gets it.

I've got to talk to a chick, you know?

(mysterious music)

- Don't even think about it! Boundaries, man!

Got to respect women.

Plus, all good pussy costs money, no matter what.

- Look. Think of everything you could learn, right?

The moon is like a beautiful planet, I'm learning so much.

I've been seeing this girl, she's like--

- Wait, really? Since when?

- I don't know, like, three weeks?

She's from a different country, she speaks another language, it's--

- How did you even meet this girl? - At work.

Dude, I feel like I'm finally realizing who Neal is,

like deep down. I feel like a...

(in Punjabi): ...new man.

(in English): Yo, look at this guy

picking up his mother tongue.

- Not bad. - Anyways, he's right.

You're the universe experiencing itself

through interesting experiences.

If you play it safe and boring,

you're just going to get deleted.

- Huh. That's really profound.

Okay. Yeah, no, I'll do the full moon thing.

(Sonny): See, you don't need Chippy.

(phone vibrates)

Ah, fuck.

I fucking told you, man.

Look, I don't have a driver right now,

what the fuck you want me to do?

- What's going on with him?

- I don't know, some client's pissed off.

- I can't fucking do it right now--

- Alright, I got to go study.

- Study? Study for what?

- Just life. Studying life.

Don't worry about it. - Okay.

- Fuck you. I love you. - Alright.

(light music)

- Oora. - Oora.

- Aira. - Aira.

(Janat): Eerie. (Neal): Eerie.

Eerie like eyes.

- Aira, like eyes. - Aira like eyes.

(Neal mutters) Ai-really like your eyes.

(chuckles) They're so, sasa-sensual.

(laughs) - Stop it! You sasa-silly.

(Neal): Haahaahaahaa. (Janat laughs)

- You need to phapha focus.

(Neal): These are just all things a baby says.

- Stop.

- Like, every baby can speak Punjabi, they're like,

"Daddaa." "Boo-boo-bah-bah."

"Pah pah pah"-- - Okay, get serious.

- Za za, that's weed. (Janat laughs)

(man): Hey, shut the fuck up, man!

♪ Life Could Be Wonderful by Charles Segal ♪

♪ Life could be wonderful it could be a breeze ♪

♪ Like the bluebells in spring and the humming bees ♪

♪ Walking down the avenue hand in hand with you ♪

♪ Makes me feel like a bird in the trees ♪

♪ One moonlight night counting stars with you ♪

♪ And that smile on your face and the twinkle in your eyes ♪

♪ Makes me feel as though I'm going into space ♪

♪ Life can be wonderful to be with you ♪

♪ I'd spend my whole life through making love to you ♪

♪ Life can be beautiful with your charming ways ♪

♪ Every moment I'd spend ♪ (music stops abruptly)

(indistinct chatter)

(soft music)

(Maya): Oh, my God.

(Jasmeet): Nice. It's the Harry Potter wand store.

- Oh, my God, here, come here. (gasps)

Aren't these so pretty?

(Jasmeet): The rocks? What am I looking at?

- They're crystals, Jasmeet.

And they're very powerful, okay?

Different energies that align with different frequencies and chakras.

(Jasmeet): Damn, what the hell, $50 for a tiny ass pink rock?

(Maya): Shh. Pick one.

(Jasmeet): For who? For me?

- Yes! I want you to use your intuition

and see what you resonate with.

- Okay. Hm.

(Maya): Ooh. (Jasmeet): Yeah.

- Okay, okay. What drew you to this one?

- Well, it just feels like it's the best one to skip.

I'm using the same thought process I would

if I were at a beach, you know?

Just feel like it's so flat and smooth, just.

I could get like eight, nine skips out of this one

if I really kind of angle it right.

Thank you so much. It's perfect.

- Okay. I don't appreciate you making fun

of something this powerful.

(scoffs) - Are you for real?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah. You're being childish.

- I was just joking.

- I am just the type of person that uses truth with my words,

I don't use humour as an avoidant technique.

- You joke around with me all the time.

Okay. Fine. My bad.

- Ooh. Okay. A Blue Tiger Eye.

Connected to the throat chakra.

- What's that mean?

- It means it helps with communication.

Something you may be lacking in.

(chuckles softly)

- Okay, I'm not that bad, I literally talk for a living.

Whatever man. I'm the throat goat, shit.

(tense music)

(cashier): Oh, wow, what a beautiful selection.

- Aw, thank you.

(cashier): Your total is $553,

will that be cash or card? - Uh...

What the fuck? How?

Uh, yeah. Card is fine.

(cashier): Okay, tap whenever you're ready.

(machine dings) (cashier chatters indistinctly)

(Maya): First, let us write down whatever we want

to let go of on this piece of paper.

- Okay. Me first? - Mm-hmm.

(Jasmeet sighs)

- What do I want to let go of, what do I want to let go of?

(Maya): Just let it come to you.

Then we'll charge the crystals under the moon overnight

to maximize their healing power.

(pencil scratches softly)

Ready? (Jasmeet): Yeah.

Oh shit, pyrotechnics. Let's go.

- Shh. - Okay, sorry.

- Now we burn away what doesn't serve us anymore.

(both exhale deeply)

(soft music)

Step one, done. How do you feel?

- Honestly, I feel pretty good, not going to lie.

- Right? - Yeah.

I mean I was almost tempted to make fun of it again

but that felt nice. I feel lighter.

- That's good. - Yeah.

- That's so good. - Yeah, yeah. I love that.

(phone chimes)

(Maya): Shit.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah. Yeah, no, everything's fine.

Okay, let's just get these crystals charged, yeah?

Can I just use your balcony? (Jasmeet): Yeah, go for it.

- Okay.

(sighs)

(door clicks open and shut)

(Maya screams)

Fuck! Are you fucking serious right now! What the fuck!

Argh! Oh, my God, Jasmeet,

were you not going to mention

that you have a shitty ass view that doesn't even

face the direction of the moon?

- Wait, are you okay? What's going on?

- Don't you have another balcony or something?

- No, this is the only balcony. What am I, the Pope?

- Well, can we use a neighbour's balcony?

- No. (Maya): Why not?

- Because I'm not going to go ask the neighbours

if we can use their balcony to charge a bunch of rocks.

- God, why? - Because it's a weird request.

(Maya): Oh, my God, Jasmeet, look, I am fucking going

through it right now, okay?

And I really needed these crystals charged tonight

because I really needed their guidance-- - Okay. Okay.

(Maya): ...but your tiny ass place with its shitty ass balcony

is totally fucking me over right now!

(Jasmeet): Hold on. What is going on?

Look, why don't we just leave these crystals out, right?

The moon will get to a certain point in the sky--

- Oh, my God, Jasmeet!

- ...it'll shine between the buildings and you'll get like,

some sort of charge? Like 20-30%?

It's better than nothing, yeah?

- Is this another one of your stupid fucking jokes?

Like seriously, what is wrong with you?

(sighs)

(Jasmeet): Look, I don't know, man, I'm just trying to...

I'm just trying to help, okay? I don't know how this all works.

- You should have a bigger spot without a shit view.

Are you not supposed to be successful or something?

(background music halts suddenly)

- Wow.

- You know what? Fuck it. I'm going to sleep.

(door opens and closes)

(sirens blare softly in the background)

(horn honks in the distance, train passes)

(Jasmeet groans softly)

(sighs)

(Maya): And so I'm thinking,

maybe I travel to Bali for another two to three months

and go to Thailand from there. - Nice.

- Oh! And I also have this amazing friend in Budapest

who's got this beautiful wellness scene

that I could totally tap in with.

- Yeah, sounds dope.

- Okay. What is with you?

- What? - You are so closed off right now!

Look at your body language.

Your arms are crossed, you have no expression

on your face, you're so distant.

- Yeah, I don't know, I'm just like, whatever.

- Oh, my God! Use your words!

(sighs)

- You're just going to act like whatever happened last night wasn't weird?

(Maya): Weird? It was actually quite upsetting.

I just found out I didn't make it to Love Island.

And I'd rather not talk about it.

- So you just take your frustration out on me

in my condo instead?

(Maya): You don't take anything seriously.

- Your problem is you take things way too seriously.

- Okay, you know what? I am doing the work

to align with my higher self and higher purpose.

So I'm very sorry if that's not fun for you,

but I do not take that lightly.

I'm not like you,

holding yourself back from abundance, Jasmeet.

You should totally have a bigger place

considering who you are and all the influence you have.

Is that so wrong?

- I'm living within my means.

(Maya): No. You don't live abundantly.

I'm being serious. - Oh, my God.

- You could be manifesting and aligning your 4D self

with more money and a bigger apartment,

but instead, Jasmeet, you are too stuck in the 3D.

(Maya sighs)

- What the hell does that even mean?

Like, you just love throwing around all these weird terms,

no explanation.

How am I supposed to understand what you're saying?

Like, do you even know what you're saying?

(Maya): Of course. - Okay. Explain it, then.

- Explain what?

- Explain whatever the hell it is you're trying to say.

And use regular words that ordinary humans understand.

Go ahead. Go ahead!

- Fine. (inhales sharply)

If you had signed a lease on a bigger apartment,

even if it cost you a few thousand more,

the universe would've provided you the extra cash flow

if you had reprogrammed your subconscious mind

to allow for more space to attract more abundance.

- Of course. - It's that easy.

- It's that easy, of course.

What the fuck does that even mean?

Like what are you saying?

"Just wish for money and it magically appears?"

- You wouldn't understand.

(Jasmeet): No, I don't think you understand.

What about the work it takes?

- You just haven't reached that stage of enlightenment.

There's levels to this. (Jasmeet sighs)

- I can't with you, man.

You're just a completely different person.

(Maya): What do you mean? - You're just so different now.

(Maya): No, I've always been this way.

- No, you haven't.

You used to be way cooler and way more chill.

But now you've adopted this like fake,

surface-level woke Instagram persona

and you don't even understand what it is,

I think it's all bullshit. - Really?

(Jasmeet): Yeah. And you're always preaching about like healing and alignment,

but you yourself aren't even any of those things.

You're a mess.

- Wow.

(Jasmeet): And on top of that,

you're entitled, okay?

You expect princess treatment everywhere we go,

you're using me for clout,

and then you dangle your sexuality in front of me,

like, for what? Just so you have a place to stay?

- I thought you were being a nice friend to me

by offering me a place to stay. Now you expect sex?

(Jasmeet): No. Look, I just barely got over my ex, alright?

And then you came back into my life and...

I thought this would be something special.

- So you just used me to get over your ex?

(Jasmeet): No. I liked you.

(Maya): And I like you too.

- No, you don't. (Maya): I do!

- No! You don't! You're just a hobosexual.

- A what?

- A person who dates somebody just to have a place to live.

And at this point I'm becoming extremely...

Hobophobic.

- I'm sorry?

- I appreciate everything you did for me, okay?

You really helped me a lot, and I'm very thankful.

But I just can't go through the ups and downs anymore.

I'm done. Okay?

I think you should book your flight back.

Now. Or find somewhere else to stay.

(Jasmeet sighs)

- Looks like I finally got it to open up after all.

This chicken is really good.

Well... Thanks, again, for letting me crash. Um.

I left your phone on charge for you in your bedroom, so.

Okay.

Oh! Um. Would you mind just making a quick video

of me entering in your place?

I just, uh, it's the last bit of my Toronto vlog

that I have left.

If you could just hold the phone up right, yep, right here.

Okay, um...

Sorry, I'll just take two seconds,

just want to finish the vlog.

Okay...

Just...

Can you just make sure it's framed up right?

I'm just going to enter into the unit

and you just make sure it's--

What are you doing?

(Maya protesting) (lock clicks)

(Jasmeet screams in relief) - Yes! Yes, thank you, God!

Finally, fuck! (continues screaming)

Yeah! Whoo!

Oh, my God.

(sighs)

Alright.

(duck quacks softly, waves lap)

(dramatic music)

♪ Bubba Dub Bossa by Robbie Poitevin ♪

(exhales softly)

(seagulls squawk)

♪ Bubba Dub Bossa by Robbie Poitevin ♪

Subtitling: difuze