Original subtitles

MAN: This is my boss,

Jonathan Hart.

He's a millionaire, self-made, and this is his wife, Jennifer.

She's quite a lady.

Oh, and that's me. My name is Max.

I take care of them, which ain't easy,

because when they met, it was murder.

[♪♪♪]

Are you going to pour that sherry

or you are just going to stare at me?

Oh, I'm sorry. It's... Forgive me.

It's just that you look so beautiful.

You sound surprised.

Under the circumstances, I suppose I am.

Well, then be surprised and pour that sherry.

I need something to steady my nerves.

[SHERRY TRICKLING AND GLASS TINKLING]

Here's to getting out of here alive.

You do realize, the others, they had to die.

What are you talking about? Aah!

I could see it, you know.

The way they looked at you, especially Munson.

I mean, killing him was easy.

Oh, Freddie, please. Julia, Julia, I did it for you.

No. No, everything.

I did it all for you, Julia. I did it for you.

No, argh, no. Oh!

Freddie, let her go.

No, it can't be. I mean, you're dead.

You're dead. I killed you. I killed you!

[JULIA SCREAMS THEN CRIES]

[GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

Ugh, are you all right?

Uh, yes, I think so.

Julia, don't cry for him.

It had to be done.

He was quite crazy, you know. Yes, I know.

Crazy in love.

[CROWD CLAPPING AND CHEERING]

MAN 1: Bravo. MAN 2: Bravo.

Well, what did you think?

I thought it was funny, suspenseful, exciting.

And tragic.

Poor Frederick, giving up all he had

for the one woman he loved.

Well, that's the part I identified with.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Ooh. Ooh, crowded.

This David Kramer has what,

four shows going at the same time?

The man definitely has the Midas touch.

JENNIFER: He's quite an eccentric.

He never gives interviews,

and all his after-theater parties are by invitation only.

Which raises an interesting question, why are we here?

Ah.

[♪♪♪]

It's fun, is it? Heh, yes.

KRAMER: Mr. and Mrs.

Hart, David Kramer,

and this beautiful young woman is Dori Maitland.

Dori is my up and coming star.

Did you enjoy the play? JONATHAN: Oh, yes.

JENNIFER: It was wonderful. Thank you, but believe me,

it's nothing compared to what I'm staging at my next show.

Ah. Well, we were delighted

and, uh, quite surprised to receive the invitation.

Thank you very much.

I hope you'll still feel that way when you realize

I had ulterior motives for inviting you here.

I have designs on your wife, Mr. Hart.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, you're gonna have to get in line.

Uh, besides, she's taken. That's a shame,

but not the kind of designs I had in mind.

I wanna work with her in my next play.

Uh.

So the poor woman, starved for affection,

took from him that which he loved most,

The Ladies of Whitechapel.

Where did you find this?

KRAMER: By luck, and pure miracle,

Mrs. Hart.

Uh, Jennifer. Jennifer.

I'm in the final stages of preparing

a musical based on Jack the Ripper.

I'm producing and directing

because I intend this to be the greatest production of my life.

We have a script and it's good but it's lacking something,

so I sent everyone of my staff out searching for ideas,

and bingo, one of my development people came across this.

I didn't think there was another copy left in the world.

I hate to interrupt,

but would someone fill me in on what's going on here?

The Ladies of Whitechapel, by Jennifer Edwards.

Your wife wrote and directed this play at NYU.

Heh. You never went to NYU.

No, I mean, yes. Well, I did for one semester.

It was a special arrangement

from the theater arts department.

I spent a semester developing this script

and I did all the research involved, you know.

Some of the theories, the traditional theories,

the one about the, uh, celebrated physician in London,

and then there was another one

about a member of the Royal Family who went berserk,

but there was one possibility

and it really intrigued me.

And she came up with a unique and most remarkable take

on an old and tired subject,

which is the possibility that Jack the Ripper

was actually a woman abused and neglected by her husband.

Remind me never to neglect you.

Ha-ha, well, it was hardly Broadway material.

Why don't you let me be the judge of that?

Let's go, Dori. Peter, not now.

Now, let's go.

You know, Peter, you're a good agent. At least you were.

Why don't you collect your 10 percent and wait in the wings?

We had a career plan before you, Kramer.

We'll have one long after you're gone.

Okay, Peter, that is enough. Do you understand?

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Let's leave. I am very sorry. It was nice meeting you both.

Sorry about that.

An agent's worst nightmare.

He's in love with his client

and he worries that someone else might take her away.

[♪♪♪]

Kind of like the play we saw tonight.

Exactly. It's a familiar theme.

Getting back to your play, Jennifer.

I have a good script but I could use some of your ideas.

It would mean coming to New York, of course.

Not on a full time basis, just for some consulting.

You might enjoy it.

Well, I'm very flattered but--

What kind of a time frame are you talking about?

Big rush. Yesterday, if possible.

Heh.

Look, I realize this is all very last minute,

and I apologize for the theatrics but that is my forte.

Here's my card.

I'm in town until Friday.

Let me know that you're not gonna break my heart.

Nice meeting you both. Good night.

Broadway musical.

Darling, Jackie the Ripper?

Well... Heh.

I think I'm in shock. Well, think how I feel.

I'm learning things about you I never knew before.

Not only are you a playwright,

but that, uh, you have this fascination now

for, uh, serial killers. No.

What are you looking for?

Well, I had my compact in here.

I don't know. My head's spinning.

What do you think? I think it'd be great.

Do you? Yeah.

We could have fun, couldn't we? Uh-huh.

I hope I could be some use to him.

I don't know if I remember all that research.

Well, maybe we ought to take a walk down memory lane.

JENNIFER: I didn't realize

I had all this stuff here.

Well, they sent it over years ago.

Huh.

"How I wish you were standing here

beside me enjoying the sand and the surf.

Love always, Buster". Oh, Buster.

Heh, high school. Ah.

Quarterback.

Well, he couldn't spell very well.

Football scholarship. Oh, look at this.

Hmm. Cheerleader.

"B"? This is yours, huh? Bulldogs.

Bulldogs? Mm-hm.

You mean, with a B, with a B, with a B-U-L.

With an L, with an L, with an L, with a D-O-G.

Bulldogs, bulldogs-- Mm, No, not exactly.

More like this.

Uh...

B-U, B-U, B-U, Ha-ha.

L-L, L-L, L-L, D-O, G-S.

Bulldogs, Bulldogs, argh.

Bulldogs!

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, well? Lucky Buster.

Where is your high school box of memories?

Well, my high school memories weren't exactly worth keeping.

Then I met Max and, uh, college was definitely an improvement.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wow-wee.

That was my baby.

A 1950 Ford convertible.

Max wanted me to drive up to school, in style.

What do you think?

Mr. Salty looks pretty good in the third.

[YELPS]

No? What about Time Bandit?

All right, we got Up and at Them in the first,

Split Second in the second, and Time Bandit in the third.

[DOG WOOFS]

If you're wrong about this, it's back to dry food.

[YELPS]

I wonder what's keeping Mr. and Mrs. H?

Technique was absolutely critical.

Timing had to be perfect.

Really? Absolutely.

[♪♪♪]

Let me show you. See you had your arm around the girl, here.

Uh-huh. This hand on the wheel.

Now, the most important thing is, you had to know the roads,

the right turns and the left turns,

see, because when you came up to the right turn,

you'd go this way and this was the do or die move to left,

Oh. see?

Heh. If you get past this...

What? Well, I don't know.

I never got that far.

Well, listen, you'd better be careful

because my father expects us home by 11.

Oh, we had a contingency for that.

The old running out of gas maneuver.

You didn't do that, did you?

Well, it depended on the girl's father.

You know, we ran out of gas once, on Mulholland Drive.

Well, that was two years ago, darling.

You didn't plan that, did you?

You didn't get home at 11, did you? Hmm?

[CHUCKLES]

Hi, Max. Sorry to keep you waiting.

We found some surprises in there.

Surprises?

Well, that's okay, Mr. H.

I filled up the car.

I'd hate to see you run out of gas at a bad time.

Pack up some bags, Max. We're going to New York.

New York? Yeah.

We're going to do a Broadway musical, Max.

It should be fun.

You mean with lots of dancers and chorus girls

showing a lot of leg? That kind of musical?

Something like that. What do you think?

Ah, it'll be Junior's first trip to the Big Apple.

You don't know what you're in for, pal.

I'm gonna teach you something about attitude.

You're gonna say, hey, I'm walking here. I'm walking here.

[♪♪♪]

You know this was supposed to be my show.

Your show? Call security. Gee, I don't remember

ever seeing your name above the title.

You know damn well what I mean, Kramer.

You promised me your next show.

I already started working on the preliminaries

and it was a hell of a lot more inventive than this garbage.

KRAMER: Well, this is a big show, Hal,

and you just don't have the experience.

HAL: You mean you don't have the guts

to give me my shot.

You're a gutless liar, Kramer.

Let's see what the press does with that.

KRAMER: Get out of my theater, Hal.

Get out and go home.

HAL: This isn't the end of this.

Hey. Hey. Well, that was stupid, Trask.

Now get out of here. Go home. Right now.

We're gonna have to remake that.

Whatever it takes do it.

JENNIFER: David?

Jennifer.

I hope this wasn't the wrong time to come.

No, you came at a great time. Come on up.

Okay.

Besides, I would think

that any time you walked into a room would be a great time.

Oh, heh, I hope you feel that way after we work together.

Well, in this line of work

we're gonna run through a lot of feelings together.

Now come here. I want you to stand right here.

Right here? Right here.

Charlie, will you kill the house lights

and give me the first cue?

Now, just imagine a few hundred people out there in the dark.

All eyes are on the stage.

It's so quiet you can hear them inhale.

Do you feel it?

[♪♪♪]

I feel my knees shaking.

Heh, well, this is my 16th show and I still get goose bumps.

Okay, Charlie, thanks.

Ooh, heh, wow.

Do you know, I am so glad you made it here.

Ah, thank you. Have you gotten settled?

Well, I dropped Jonathan and Max off at the apartment

and came straight here. Great. I love that.

It's called being a trooper. Jody?

Jennifer Hart, Jody, my assistant.

How do you do? Great to meet you, Mrs. Hart.

Jody, would you please show Mrs. Hart around the theater,

introduce her to everyone and make her feel at home?

Yes, sir.

You and I will work together later.

Good, great. Well, then I'll see you later.

Bye-bye. Bye.

[♪♪♪]

Well, this is the old lighting board.

It doesn't work anymore, but David keeps it around

because it reminds him of his school.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So you're the lady who wrote the masterpiece

that's going to save us all.

Well, I don't know about that. I'm Alan Watson.

Oh. These are my sets.

How do you do? They're wonderful.

You haven't done Broadway before, have you?

No. Well, good luck.

Hope you know what you're getting yourself in for.

[♪♪♪]

Me too.

I'll show you the dressing rooms.

Ah.

What do you think of this? For the dressing room, act two.

It's, uh, very nice.

Where'd you find it?

Oh, it's amazing what you can find around this place

if you poke around enough. Lots of nooks and crannies.

Why am I telling you? It's your theater.

Well, there are probably parts of it

that even I haven't seen yet. Really?

Anyway, what do you think?

I think you found it but that doesn't surprise me.

[CHUCKLES]

Thanks for sticking up for my sets back there.

All in a day's work.

I, uh, just wanna say

how much I enjoy working with you, Mr. Kramer.

You're an interesting man. This is an interesting place.

I'd like to think we have a long future together.

Just keep up the good work. That's all it takes.

Right.

Good night.

[♪♪♪]

For you.

Boodles, you look wonderful. I've missed you.

KRAMER: I think we still have too many

lead women in the piece.

They take the focus off of Kitty.

The focus has to be on Kitty, just like in your version.

What if we combine Claire and Kitty?

One woman, mostly Kitty, but with some of Claire's problems?

That's perfect.

Claire has a terrific number right after the funeral.

It's very moving and it's perfect for Kitty.

I knew I made the right decision by asking for your help.

Ah.

I hope I'm not interrupting. No, we needed a break anyway.

Hello, darling. Hi.

You know, your wife is very talented, Mr. Hart.

Oh. Very good instincts.

I think it was her instincts that first attracted me to her.

I thought you might be free for lunch.

One hour. We're on a tight schedule.

I'll see you later.

Well, how's it going? Oh, great, great.

Isn't this a wonderful old theater?

Full of little passageways and all.

Oh, you see this? This is a big back drop

that's going to have the whole of Whitechapel Street on it.

Ah, that's the lighting board.

They're mixing it all together, and, uh, viola, the theater.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[MAN SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN: So you were just standing there

when this thing happened?

As I told you, I was talking to my husband

on the edge of the proscenium.

Excuse me? Proscenium? What is that, some kind of Greek word?

On the edge of the stage.

I was describing the set.

Too bad the set designer's dead

or he could explain the set to us, in English.

Alan Watson, do either of you know this guy?

We just got here yesterday, lieutenant.

Detective. Detective Frank Giordano.

Lieutenant is something they're keeping from me

to give my mother still a little bit more to pray for.

You know what I'm saying? Heh.

Mrs. Hart, um, did you, by any chance, hear anything

before this guy dropped in on you? A fight...

Uh, some kind of argument, something I can put in here

to make it look like I'm a professional police officer?

You may not know it but they grade us on this stuff.

KRAMER: Look, detective, unless you got

some reason to be suspicious,

I got a show to open here.

I don't need the negative publicity and word of mouth.

What happened, happened.

It was a tragedy. No question about it,

but unless you have some reason to believe otherwise,

it would appear that it was nothing more

than a terrible accident.

Heh, yeah, like my first marriage.

Look, Mr. Kramer, some guy goes up in the flys,

is that what you call it? Some guy goes up in the flys,

get tangled up in rope and then he falls.

Now what are the odds that rope will wind up around his neck?

I didn't know we were playing the odds.

I'm a cop.

If something goes down that beats the odds,

my nose sure as hell better start twitching

or I might as well partner with my cousin Dom at the bakery.

By the way, you like cannolis?

Veneztia Bakery, Mulberry Street, best in the city.

Is that all, detective? That's all for now, Mr. Hart,

but as they say in these circumstances,

don't leave town for a while, okay? Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

MAN: You gotta your gnocchi,

you gotta your zabaglione,

you gotta your Ziti al Forno,

you gotta whatever your gorgeous face wants.

Oh, thank you, heh.

Well, it's quite a selection. What do you suggest?

You a beautiful woman.

I can tell just by looking at you, what you like.

Oh? I make a choice for you.

I give you the best in the house.

Okay. Mostacciolli Novacento Quatro.

Are you Italian?

No, I'm Jewish but I need the job.

if you don't mind, novacento.

Cento, cento, well, novacento, good.

I'll have that. MAN: And you?

Well, let's see.

Come on, Christmas is coming.

What do you suggest? Spaghetti and meatballs.

Ciao. Bye.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I love New York. Yeah, I know why.

Why?

Because all the waiters flirt with you.

Oh-- Food's great here,

but they're a little slow, so I took the liberty

of getting you something.

Vito, can you bring three glasses over here? Thank you.

Why don't you join us?

Have some lunch? Heh, no, thanks.

I gotta watch the gut.

Nothing burns a hole in the old stomach lining

better than Italian deli. Thank you for sharing that.

You know what? Maybe I will just pick at this a little bit.

Why do we have the pleasure of your company?

Mr. Hart, I had to think about this for a few minutes.

Do I talk to the wife alone,

do I talk to the husband and wife together,

see what kind of reactions I get?

The stuff they don't teach you in the academy. It's amazing.

Maybe you missed it when you were out snacking.

Heh, that's funny,

but, Mrs. Hart, is this your signature?

It looks like it. Mr. Hart?

If Jennifer says that's her signature,

then I suppose it was.

No, no. Can you pass me the wine?

Allow me.

This signature was, uh, torn off this note.

I made some copies and I just tore it off just now.

Very dramatic.

Darling? I liked it.

Go ahead, read it.

"I'll never forget Wednesday night. Jennifer."

What is this supposed to mean?

That's also your handwriting, right?

It looks like it.

"I'll never forget Wednesday night. Jennifer."

You got here Wednesday afternoon didn't you, Mrs. Hart?

That's right.

How well do you know this Alan Watson?

I don't know him at all.

If you have something to ask, detective,

why don't you just ask it? Heh.

Yes, I know I can be annoying and I'm working on it,

I swear, I am,

but, uh, this note was found on the body of the deceased.

It was folded neatly in his wallet

like it was important to him.

Detective Giordano-- Easy, Mr. Hart. We'll get there.

You better.

[SIGHS]

You know what this is? A key.

[CHUCKLES]

My many years of detective work

have clued me into this fact,

but, uh, do you recognize it?

No, it's not one of mine. Darling?

I never saw it before.

What's this all about?

Well, this key was wrapped up in the note

and I just thought there might be some kind of connection.

One last thing, it's more important

now that you folks stick around

because, uh, things are starting to get messy,

which means if we're onto something,

I wouldn't want you leaving town

when we're in the middle of things.

Thanks for the olives and the wine.

Enjoy. Uh-huh.

Excusa. Mangia.

Here's to you.

JENNIFER: Giordano

was right about one thing.

What's that? That Italian deli.

I can feel it lying in wait.

That's part of its charm.

Heh.

What's that? That's it.

That's what?

I owed you 15 minutes. It's your turn.

Oh, no, no, no, you owed me 22 minutes,

and there's ten minutes left.

Ten minutes? Uh-huh, ten minutes.

Oh, you're tough. Heh.

Next thing I know I'll be punching time cards.

Do you doubt my word?

You do realize that we're both pretty good suspects

as far as Detective Giordano is concerned?

Well, for what it's worth, I don't believe you

had anything to do with it.

I got word through the grapevine

that some of the backers are pulling out.

Kramer's looking for new blood.

Really?

Well, that's too bad.

Don't worry, you're being massaged by the new blood.

Oh, darling, you don't have to do that.

Ah, something's going on.

I don't want you there alone.

If there's trouble, I want to be close by,

and if I have money in the show,

I have a good reason for hanging around the theater.

You're wonderful.

I have a confession to make.

I lied about the ten minutes. It's your turn.

You got pretty scratchy for the ten minutes.

Well, ten minutes is ten minutes.

You're telling me.

[LAUGHS]

♪ Why do I feel caught again ♪

♪ Why can't my soul be free ♪

♪ Will demons I have fought before ♪

♪ Come for me ♪

♪ Come for me ♪

She is wonderful. Did you doubt me?

Oh, heh, stop.

♪ I appear beside myself ♪

♪ And who's inside of me ♪

♪ If I appear beside myself ♪

♪ What stranger lives inside ♪

Hi. Hi.

♪ Of me ♪

That was lovely, Dori.

Would you wait on stage a few minutes?

I have a few things I'd like to go over with you

in your dressing room.

Great.

I think this would be a good time to tell him.

Would you order lunch for two?

Sure. Good.

Ah, Jonathan, I didn't see you come in.

I thought you'd be out finding some companies to buy.

Actually, I came to do a little business here.

Say hello to your new partner. My partner?

Well, I figured that if David Kramer was doing a show,

and to top it off with the woman I love,

what better way to spend my money?

Besides, I've always been fascinated by the theater,

and I thought this would be a good way to get involved.

Well, you might wanna know who you're dealing with

before you waste your money.

This man's a liar.

He's untrustworthy, dishonest-- Ah, Jonathan Hart, Hal Trask.

Hal seems to feel that I have reneged on a promise to him.

Think nothing, Kramer. I know what you said.

I also know what happened to Alan Watson.

With him dead, you need me now, Kramer.

The sets are finished.

They're Alan's sets and they're brilliant.

When the show opens, but a ticket, study them.

You'll get there.

You're a real bastard. At best.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Well, welcome to the theater, and thank you.

I hope your faith in me will pay off.

I have no doubt that it will.

Listen, I'd like to work through lunch with Jennifer.

No problem.

I'm gonna go to the gym and then I'll check on Max.

JENNIFER: Umm, okay. See you later.

Wasn't that number a smash? Terrific.

JONATHAN: Something wrong, Max?

Seems like you're not all here.

I ain't been all here since I got here, Mr. H.

Well, what's going on?

Katherine's going on.

Katherine Kendrick, next door.

Oh, that kind of what's going on.

How bad is it?

As bad as it gets.

She calls me Boodles.

Heh, that bad, huh?

[♪♪♪]

Have you discussed it with her?

I got close, but I wound up handing her the pepper instead.

Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?

I'm afraid I might be,

but it's difficult to understand women nowadays.

JONATHAN: Yeah, it sure is.

It's difficult to understand women yesterday, today,

and, uh, I'm sure tomorrow.

MAX: Yeah, you are right, Mr. H.

Um, look, Max

if you're thinking about getting married,

you shouldn't worry about me and Jennifer.

Whatever you want, we're behind you.

We love you, and all we want is the best for you.

Thanks.

You know, you once told me

when I was in trouble and had a difficult time

making a decision,

that, uh, life's chances were like today's lettuce.

It's crisp and new today,

brown and wilted if you let them lay around.

You know what I think you should do?

What?

Go for it.

Thanks. Thanks.

Come on Freeway, let's go. I gotta go think.

I'll be upstairs, Max.

[DOORKNOB CLICK AND DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

[GUNSHOT]

[FIRE ALARM WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN: Cast on stage

in ten minutes.

David. KRAMER: Jonathan, unbelievable.

I just heard what happened.

I'm glad you're all right. So am I.

You know, Jennifer, you didn't have to come back here.

Why don't the two of you just go on home?

Darling?

Well, actually I think I'd like to stay.

It might be safer.

Exercise doesn't seem to be too good for my health.

[CHUCKLES]

In that case, make yourself comfortable.

We'll be going over the Kitty Constable scene

in about ten minutes. I could use your help.

Good. Oh, we'll be right here. Shall we?

[SIGHS]

Are you all right?

Oh, I keep thinking about that Giordano.

He had cops crawling all over the locker room

and he never showed up at the crime scene.

Ah.

GIORDANO: Crime scene. I like that.

Very professional,

and then I'm supposed to ask if you got a good look at him,

but I don't supposed you did, right?

Right.

Where did you come from

and why weren't you at the gym?

Listen, folks, I'm supposed to be a crime stopper

and a P.R. guy all rolled into one.

Between you, me and the walls,

this kind of stuff goes on every day.

What are you gonna do about it?

Take plenty of antacid, stay off the tranquilizers,

go home and get some sleep.

Is that it? You done?

I wish. I got like five hours to go,

but as far as this is concerned,

I'll fill out a report.

All I'm telling you is don't expect too much.

So, uh, Mrs. Hart, how goes the play?

Fine.

So I was thinking, ah,

well, see, maybe I thought you could possibly get Kramer

to, uh, give the wife a chance,

maybe read for one of the bar maids or something?

What can I tell you? Showbiz.

Makes everybody a little crazy.

So it seems. Heh.

I hear you're putting money into this shebang too.

Is that right? Oh, news travels fast.

I'm impressed.

That's why they pay me the big bucks,

to keep up with what's going on.

I'll see you people.

[♪♪♪]

Do you believe him?

There's a threat on your life

and he's trying to get his wife into the play.

Showbiz.

You remember the other day when I handed you the pepper?

What are you talking about, Boodles?

It's about you and me, Katherine.

About making our own recipe, if you know what I mean.

What are you talking about, Max?

I'll make it plain and simple.

You and me.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Who is it?

CHARLES: Police Inspector

Charles Masters.

I'm looking for Jonathan Hart.

Yeah, that's me.

How do you do?

Sorry to just barge in on you like this,

but I heard you had a little trouble earlier.

I've already been through that with the police.

You mean Detective Giordano?

Yeah, that's who I mean.

Well, if you don't mind, Mr. Hart,

uh, we got a call today from a Mr. Kramer's office,

David Kramer. I know him.

Well, Mr. Kramer said that Detective Giordano

didn't exactly handle himself in a professional manner.

Look, I know Frank Giordano, Mr. Hart. He's a good cop.

He just lacks a little bedside manners.

Anyway, the department wanted

somebody else to come along,

maybe get more deeply involved.

Well, I was just about to do that myself.

I'm going upstairs to check out the locker room.

Care to join me? It's a pleasure.

Max, I'll be back in a little bit.

Now, you're sure the shots came from that direction?

No, I'm not sure about anything, Inspector.

It's just my best guess.

Find something?

Nine millimeter high velocity ammunition.

It seems you had a pretty serious assailant, Mr. Hart.

Well, I'm glad.

I'd have been disappointed if he was half-hearted.

Heh.

Well, the good thing is

we got a lot of surface area to work with.

If he wasn't wearing gloves,

we'll probably come up with something.

I'll let you know what we find, Mr. Hart.

Thanks very much.

And, once again,

I apologize for any bad impression

left by Detective Giordano. No problem.

[♪♪♪]

DORI: And I take it you're very

concerned with my welfare.

The whole thing needs to go just a little faster.

MALE ACTOR: Just doing my job, Miss.

I'm sure you are Constable.

Okay, hold it.

You're being too hard on him, Dori.

When she says, and I take it you're really concerned

about my welfare, it's irony.

The woman's been beaten and abandoned by her husband,

suddenly a constable shows up

and says that he's interested in her?

It's a laugh, right?

What she's really saying is,

"where were you when I needed you."

Now let's take it again, please.

This is hard enough without her agent sitting here,

and I think you missed a light cue.

I didn't change a thing.

Are you sleeping with him? DORI: Don't you dare.

DORI: You let me go. Now I am... I'm talking to you.

MAN: Reset. DORI: Let me go.

You stay here, because right now

I want to find out just what the hell is...

Dori, are you all right?

Just stay outta this, Kramer, all right?

It's none of your business.

She has the lead in my show.

That makes everything about her my business.

MAN: Ho, ho, take it easy.

Peter, Peter, come on.

PETER: Get off me.

Listen to me, Dori.

I've never led you wrong.

I'm telling you now you're making a mistake.

Get outta this play. Get away from this man.

I'll get you. I'll get you another show.

Just, just do it. You're better than this.

Get out, Peter.

What? What?

All right, everybody, let's call it today.

I've had enough melodrama.

Monday morning, nine o'clock.

Go talk to him, Dori.

Last chance, this will not happen again.

[GROANS]

Are you all right? I'm fine.

I've had worse than that before. Whoof.

Thought show business was easy. I'm beginning to learn.

We have five weeks before opening

and all I've been doing is putting out fires.

We gotta get some work done.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Ugh, look, I got a house out in the island.

It's only about two hours from here. It's quiet.

No interruptions.

If we left now, we'd have the whole weekend.

I know what you're thinking.

Why don't you give Jonathan a call and ask him to meet us?

I think the break will do us both good.

All right, all right, I'll do that.

Uh... Jody?

Would you ask Pat to bring the car around, please?

[♪♪♪]

Good night, Pat. PAT: Good night, Mr. Kramer.

If I may? Thank you.

That's the way we do things here.

KRAMER: What time did Jonathan

say he'd be out?

I don't know. He wasn't home,

so I left a message with the directions on the machine.

What? Heh, what? Nothing.

Just trying to figure you out, that's all.

Heh, figure me out?

I didn't know I was a mystery.

I hope you don't think I'm outta line,

but I'm kind of surprised you married

into the world of business.

Oh, heh, I married Jonathan, not his work.

Don't get me wrong.

Jonathan seems like a wonderful man,

just not the person I might've pictured you with,

that's all.

Kramer's first rule of theater.

It's the unexpected that keeps them coming back for more.

[CHUCKLES]

Anyway, makes for fascinating company.

Thank you.

JENNIFER [OVER SPEAKERS]: The turn off

for Cranbury Hill Road.

Make a left, go up the hill.

It's number 227, last house on the right.

I love you, darling.

I know this is a last minute thing,

but I think David's right.

Getting out of the city should be good for all of us.

I'll see you later.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

Did you get that, Max? Got it.

MAX: Here you go Mr. H. Thanks.

You going over to Katherine's? Yep.

Is tonight the night? Could be, maybe.

Maybe not.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

JONATHAN: I'll get it, Max.

Who is it? MASTERS: It's Inspector Masters.

Oh, Inspector, come on in. Thanks.

I didn't expect to see you so soon.

News already?

Well, no news on the bullet,

but I just came back from the theater.

I understand that Mr. Kramer's assistant

that he drove out to Long Island with your wife tonight.

Yeah that's right. I'm on my way to join them.

I'm just waiting for the drive to take me out.

Well, we understand that, Mr. Hart,

but with all the stuff that's going on,

I'd really appreciate it

if you'd let me drive you out there myself,

just to be on the safe side.

No, I don't need you to do that, Inspector, thanks.

No, really, it's my pleasure,

and besides, I just gave your driver the night off.

Heh. Oh, don't worry.

I gave him a good tip.

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

Where are we going? A little detour, Mr. Hart.

This is where we get out. What's going on?

Take off your seat belt

and keep your hands where I can see them.

Ah, ah, ah, slowly.

I guess this explains the gun shots in the locker room

and why no one else could find the shells

in the back except you.

Just shut up and keep moving.

Maybe you can explain why all of this is happening to me.

I have no idea what this is all about.

It's about dying, Mr. Hart,

quietly, alone and out of the way.

Oh.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

KRAMER: Sorry, I'm late. JENNIFER: Ah.

KRAMER: From my private reserve,

especially for you.

JENNIFER: Oh. Huh, I wonder

where Jonathan is.

KRAMER: Well, it's probably

the weather.

Adds another hour to the drive, at least.

He'll be here. JENNIFER: Ah, thank you.

Uh, to Whitechapel. Oh, to Whitechapel.

JENNIFER: Um.

I admire your courage, Jennifer.

I didn't know I was being courageous.

Heh. On the contrary.

Driving out to my house like this, being alone with me.

I'm sure word of my reputation

has found its way to the West Coast.

Oh, only dribs and drabs.

Mostly gossip, uh, about you and very young starlets.

I can't say that all the allegations are unfounded.

Hazard of the trade. I hope you have insurance.

[LAUGHS]

You see, that's what I miss.

Don't get me wrong.

It's not as if my situation doesn't have its benefits,

but I do get starved for conversation

with an intelligent woman.

Well, it depends on what you're looking for.

That's true.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Oh, Jonathan. Yes.

Darling.

What the hell's going on?

Now, let me get this straight, Mr. Hart.

This Inspector Masters was sent in to oversee the case

because I wasn't paying enough attention?

Is that the drift?

He said he requested it from Kramer's office.

I asked Kramer about it. He said it didn't happen.

Yeah, well, Kramer's right.

If he had contact with the department,

I would know about it, if I was paying attention.

Look, no one is blaming you for what happened.

That's very comforting. Thank you.

The fact is

that I am suddenly on someone's most wanted list

and I wanna know why.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello. Hey, Sally. No, I picked the Nicks.

Yeah, what makes you so smart?

Well, who knew he was gonna get hurt?

Next time I'll know better.

What do you got for me? Yeah. Yeah, got you.

Thanks.

Well?

My cousin Sal works in personnel.

Checked every precinct.

No Inspector Masters.

No one by that name or rank

anywhere in the entire department.

[♪♪♪]

Here we are.

Someone once told me

investing in a Broadway show was dangerous.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES THEN JONATHAN GROANS]

Oh, let me help you. I wonder if he knew something?

Ah, well, they always said the theater was exciting.

Max? It makes no sense.

This Inspector Masters, I keep wondering

if he was the guy who killed Watson,

the set designer.

If so, why?

And if he did kill him, why was he after me next?

Huh. Max?

He's not here. I'll leave him a note.

He's probably over at Katherine's.

At this hour?

Yeah, things are heating up in the kitchen.

Really?

Can't you find your pen?

No, I found my pen.

My lipstick's gone. That's funny.

Getting absent-minded in your old age?

Thank you, darling.

Now, what's all this about Max?

Well, uh...

I think Max is going to get married.

Married?

That really is serious.

That would mean he'd be leaving us.

I can't imagine what it would be like

not having him around all the time.

Heh.

Oh, me either, darling,

but if it makes him happy.

Oh, well, I wish him all the happiness

I've had in my life, and you're my happiness.

Um.

Oh. Well, oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Is that better?

[GROANS]

Ah. Ah, I don't know.

Try it again and I'll let you know.

[JENNIFER LAUGHS]

Uh-huh, that's better. Um. Is it?

The cross-fade needs to have it faster.

♪ You've got to understand There's someone out there ♪

♪ Won't you please believe me It's no lie ♪

♪ Someone's heart is beating In the shadows ♪

♪ No matter where I go I feel those eyes ♪

♪ Those eyes ♪

♪ You've got to understand I'm not pretending ♪

I don't want her looking off to the side.

♪ Can't I make you see That this is real ♪

♪ Someone's hatred glares at me Through darkness ♪

♪ I quake at what each Streetlight might reveal ♪

No, no.

No, no.

Come on, Dori. What is this?

Stop. Take a deep breath.

[SIGHS]

This entire number for Kitty means two words.

Take me.

She's got nothing going on at home

except the occasional black eye.

She's boiling over. She's empty inside.

She needs to feel that she's desirable

that men want her for something more than a punching bag.

She wants someone to love her

and she wants him now.

Lunch, everyone.

Be back at 2:00.

Jonathan?

MAN: Yeah. Okay, come down.

I've been thinking.

Maybe you should pull out of the show.

Well, so why is that? Isn't it obvious?

It's very clear to me that someone is trying

to make sure that this show never gets off the ground.

The moment you signed on, you became a target.

It's me they're trying to sabotage.

I have enough on my mind

without having to worry about my backers.

We made a deal, David. Screw the deal.

I'll make an exception this time

and put my own money into this extravaganza.

I don't wanna feel responsible

if something should happen to you.

Well, I appreciate that,

but I'm responsible for what happens to me,

so let's let it ride.

Well, I've gotta go.

See you tonight, darling. All right.

You married an obstinate man.

Hmm, I know.

That's one of the things I love about him.

I hope he realizes how lucky he is.

So do I.

How about lunch?

Lunch.

GIORDANO: Is that great pizza or what?

JONATHAN: Yeah, very good.

GIORDANO: "Yeah, very good?"

Are you kidding me? That's the best in the city.

You're telling me you had better than this?

Look at this crust.

It's a work of art. That's pure genius.

I don't know how you people in L.A. do it.

I was out there once visiting a cousin.

The pizza tasted like one of them English muffin things

with tomato sauce and American cheese

and you pop it in a toaster oven, oh, heh.

JONATHAN: That's him. GIORDANO: You sure?

You know pizza, I know faces.

Got you. Mike Royston.

For what it's worth, it makes sense.

JONATHAN: How's that? He's an actor.

Huh, well, he convinced the hell out of me.

GIORDANO: Of course, he's also

a three-time loser.

Can I have a copy of this picture?

Yeah, sure.

JONATHAN: Well, it seems as

if Michael Royston

is unreachable, unfindable and permanently out of town.

MAX: An actor?

Mr. H, that don't wash.

Yeah, that's true.

Whoever heard of an actor

who couldn't be reached by a telephone?

Hey, Max, uh...

[♪♪♪]

I could use your help for something.

What about, Mr. H?

You always wanted to be in show business, didn't you?

I did.

Well, how about him?

Look, Gold, I've been to a dozen agencies

looking for the right face for this project.

I'm getting tired. I ain't getting any younger.

I walked out of better places than this,

so if you ain't got what I'm looking for,

let's kiss and call it a day.

Please, Mr. Brandt, or can I call you Sid?

My friends call me Mr. Brandt.

Mr. Brandt, tell me again what you're looking for.

Maybe I didn't hear it exactly.

Late 30s, respectable looking.

Complex, if you get my drift.

Complex, complex.

I'm getting a complex.

Wait a minute. Here, I got it.

What about him?

Just what the doctor ordered.

Yeah, yeah, that's more like it.

A definite possible. Good face.

Good but evil, I mean, complex.

Definitely to be considered.

What are the chances of meeting this guy

before hell freezes over?

Just give me a time and a place.

The Oak Room, tonight, 8:00.

Hi, I'm Mike Royston.

I'm looking for a "Sid" somebody.

I can't remember his last name.

Oh, thanks.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sid?

Ah, Mr. Royston.

How do you do?

Inspector. Ah.

[♪♪♪]

[GROANS THEN THUDS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Oh, my God, he's killed him.

I don't know what it is about you, Mr. Hart,

but you seem to drag trouble around

like toilet paper sticking to a wet shoe.

Very pretty.

You don't honestly believe

he had anything to do with this?

Now why would I think that?

A guy tries to kill Mr. Hart,

Mr. Hart smokes him out, invites him to dinner,

two minutes later the guy's dead

and Mr. Hart's holding a knife.

It's the farthest thing from my mind.

Rodriguez, cuff him.

What?

What are you doing?

GIORDANO: I'm performing an arrest.

You have the right to remain silent,

you have the right to an attorney.

If you can't afford an attorney, cop talk.

Don't have to tell me one damn thing.

You get to look out for your own butt

and the police cannot screw with you. Do you understand that?

Loud and clear. Jonathan.

GIORDANO: Take him in.

I think you'd better give Harry Doyle a call.

Don't panic.

I left my rubber hose in my good suit.

I had a hot date last week.

Why don't you get up, Mr. Hart

and, uh, I'll unburden you over here.

[JONATHAN GROANS]

Aren't you afraid I'm gonna overpower you?

Heh. Hell, you out earn me.

That's enough grief.

You put on a real good show back there, detective.

Are you gonna fill me in?

You're a smart guy, Mr. Hart.

Most guys I meet who think they're smart

aren't even smart enough to be dumb

but you're a keeper. You're a piece of work.

Thanks,

and you don't think that I killed Mike Royston.

No, you got too much class.

If you were gonna kill somebody,

you'd use the right fork, if you know what I'm saying.

I'll take that as a compliment.

GIORDANO: It was meant as one.

Mr. Hart, I don't know what's going down around here

but someone sure as hell wants it to look like

you stuck that shiv into Royston's chest,

so I figure, what the hell. Give them a show.

If it makes him confident,

they think they set you up and won,

maybe they'll let down and make a mistake.

Sorry about those but I had to make it look convincing.

So where do we go from here?

We don't go, I go.

Don't try this at home, Mr. Hart.

You know, like it says on TV, leave it to the professionals.

In spite of what you might think,

I know what I'm doing.

Like you, I'm very good at what I do.

Twice you didn't trust me

and twice you stepped into something. You know what?

I think it's time that you and I started

being nice to each other.

Let's make a deal.

You go back to that pretty wife of yours,

lead the good life and let me traipse

through the sewers with the vermin and the slime.

It ain't much but it's home.

You're a piece of work.

JENNIFER: Darling, are you all right?

Hey, we're professionals around here.

When I work over a guy, I leave no marks.

I called Harry Doyle. It's okay.

We're going home.

What happened?

JONATHAN: We're going home.

They're not gonna arrest me.

Oh, I was scared sick. Me too.

David, where is everybody?

Ah, I canceled the rehearsal.

Everything seems to be falling apart.

You're not thinking of calling the play off, are you?

I don't know. I'm thinking about it.

It's not worth it, Jennifer.

I knew Mike Royston, you know, an actor.

Had a part in a show I did two years ago.

He'd been after me ever since to hire him again

and I kept shining him on.

Somehow I feel responsible.

Oh, I didn't realize you knew him.

I mean, now that Royston's...

now that he's dead,

maybe that'll put an end to all this trouble.

It may be that he was responsible for most of it.

Then who killed him?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Nothing's working out as I hoped it would.

This is the most important production of my life

and it's just coming apart.

The truth is,

this play may have been doomed from the beginning.

It'll never work out the way I planned.

David, the play is good. It's very good.

If you're worried about Jonathan and me,

we can just leave

but don't give up the play.

That's what I love about you, Jennifer.

You make any man just wanna keep on trying, heh.

Oh, heh, well, the show must go on, right?

Right. You are a trooper, aren't you?

I'm a trooper with, uh, the rest of the morning off.

I have a lot of things I can do.

How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow. Great, that's it.

Bye.

[♪♪♪]

What are you doing up there?

PETER: What?

Nothing. I just...

I need to get Dori out of this,

out of this play.

Kramer's out of his mind.

He's only gonna make her miserable.

Don't you see that what he's doing to her?

Don't you think you ought to let Dori decide that?

This...

I don't, I don't know what I'm

supposed to do. I wanna take care of her.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Why don't you try trusting Dori?

She might surprise you.

JENNIFER: What? JONATHAN: Just looking.

You seem very quiet today.

Only on the outside.

On the inside, I'm having a terrific conversation.

Oh. What about?

It's private. Private?

Well, it's private

because if I said it, heh, it would sound over the top.

Try me.

All right.

I was just thinking

that here I am walking down the street

in one of the most fabulous cities in the world

with undoubtedly the most terrific man in the world

with whom I am desperately in love.

What do you think?

I think it's a little over the top.

That's what I thought you'd say.

What? Just thinking.

About what?

Well, here I am in one of the greatest cities in the world

walking down one of these incredible streets

and desperately in love

with the most beautiful woman in the world.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

What do you think?

I think we are over the top.

Yeah, isn't it great? Heh.

[SHIVERING]

It is cold.

Oh. What's this?

Oh, I think that's the box

I had Liz send up from California.

JENNIFER: Oh? Yep, that's it.

What's in it?

The rest of your college papers we found in storage.

Oh.

I thought the best thing to do

was to back at the beginning.

This all started when you wrote that play in college.

There ought to be some answers in here.

Well, let's have a look.

Uh-oh. What is it?

Oh, uh, it's a photograph of me in college, heh.

Oh, let me see it. Mm-mm.

I was a late bloomer.

What night of the week did your play open?

[GASPS]

The same night it closed. Why?

I was just reading what some of the cast

and the people who were involved in your play

wrote on the back of your program.

Wednesday night was the best, Frank.

If nothing else,

we'll always have Wednesday night,

love Marilyn.

Remember the Alamo, remember Wednesday night, Bill.

I'll never forget Wednesday night.

The note in Alan Watson's pocket.

Do you think it's possible

you could've written something like

this on someone else's program?

Well, yes, I think I could absolutely have written it.

Do you still have that note

that Detective Giordano gave us?

Yes, it's in my purse.

Heh. It was in my purse.

Well, where else could it be?

I don't know. It couldn't be anywhere else.

That's where I put it.

Oh, that's just stupid.

First my compact then my lipstick and now this.

What's going on?

[♪♪♪]

Hmm.

If I can't have you, dear Jennifer,

then nobody can.

KATHERINE: We're not gonna go through

this again, Boodles.

When you make scrambled eggs, you use milk.

You're out of your skull, lady. No way.

If you want your eggs light and fluffy, you use water.

Look who's talking about light and fluffy.

Cut that out.

What's wrong, Boodles?

I just wanna see if you know something

about cooking that's all.

No, that's not all.

I forgot more than you know about making eggs.

You use water.

All right, I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll make one batch with milk,

another batch with water.

We'll let the Harts decide.

What do you say?

I say, let's you and I get married.

[SIGHS]

I don't know what to say. How about saying yes?

Good morning.

Katherine...

Breakfast for two?

Oh, I was just helping. Bon appétit.

JONATHAN: Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

We have an appointment at NYU.

We'll be back later.

Everything okay, Max?

[♪♪♪]

JENNIFER: Jennifer.

Jennifer Edwards at the time but now it's, uh, Jennifer Hart

and this is my husband Jonathan.

KABEL: Oh, a lucky man, Jonathan.

So, what's this all about? A Broadway Show?

Yes, um, do you remember the play

that I wrote and directed?

It was called-- KABEL: Ladies of Whitechapel.

Yes, I, I glanced over it just after we hung up.

Is that what you told David Kramer's people

when they came to look through your archives?

Beg your pardon?

Professor, David Kramer's development people told us

that they had checked out every university in the country.

Well, I don't know about other universities, Jonathan,

but if David Kramer's people came here,

I wouldn't forget that.

Jennifer, do you remember Lebak's first rule of theater?

"The unexpected is what keeps the audience in their seats."

That's funny.

That's what David said

only he called it Kramer's law.

Well, that's not surprising. He was one of my students.

One of your students? KABEL: Of course.

Who else would know Lebak's rules of theater?

I'm Lebak. That's Kabel spelled backward.

David never said he went to the same school.

Oh, that's odd.

He was one year behind you

but his name wasn't David Kramer then.

It was, um, Carl Davidson.

Carl Davidson.

Here's the, uh, here's the program

and, uh, here's a photograph of the cast.

There's David Kramer right at the top.

You've been working with him all this time

and you didn't know?

Constable Higgins, Carl Davidson.

I had no idea.

It's always that smile, isn't it, Jennifer?

The same one you gave to me.

I'll never forget Wednesday night

but you did forget.

You forgot everything, except him.

You never forget him, do you?

Wonderful, thoughtful, delightful Jonathan.

Wonderful, thoughtful, delightful, dead Jonathan.

JENNIFER: David?

[♪♪♪]

JENNIFER: Is anybody here?

JONATHAN: Kramer?

JENNIFER: I don't understand

why they're not rehearsing.

JONATHAN: There seems to be a lot

of things going around here

that we don't know about.

Hello?

Kramer?

JENNIFER: Jonathan...

David?

Kramer, are you here?

Is that you?

KRAMER: Jonathan, Jennifer,

I wasn't expecting you.

I'm up here working on some spot cues.

Come on up.

[♪♪♪]

JONATHAN: David?

David!

David!

Oh, David.

What are you doing? Theater, my dear.

My milieu. Very effective.

JONATHAN: Jennifer!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Shall we? JONATHAN: Jennifer?

Jennifer! Jennifer!

[GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]

You know,

it's too bad that Alan Watson had to go poking

around the theater looking for set pieces.

You didn't even recognize that piece, did you?

It was from my collection,

from the play we did together many years ago.

I kept it as a memento.

That outfit too. You wore it that night.

I've always considered it the prize of my collection.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

You really are so very beautiful.

I always wondered what it would be like to kiss you.

[SIGHS]

Do I repulse you that much?

David, you're sick, you need help.

Ha, ha, your husband's locked up in the spotlight booth,

you're tied up down here with a madman and I need help.

That's really very good, Jennifer.

I admire your sense of irony.

[LAUGHS]

Welcome to my museum.

My tribute to the great and wonderful Jennifer Hart.

I've had 25 years to put it together.

Twenty-five years to build my collection

and to make myself something and for what?

For nothing!

No, not for nothing. No, you're...

You are something. You are a well-known producer.

You do wonderful plays.

Do you know why I did that?

Do you even have a clue as to what it's all been about?

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

When I was in your play, you barely even noticed me.

Isn't that true?

Well, it's, uh, I mean, it's not really true.

I was preoccupied.

It was my first play and--

Heh, such a sweet liar.

You didn't notice me because I wasn't worth noticing.

You knew it and I knew it.

[♪♪♪]

"I'll never forget Wednesday night."

When you wrote that to me, do you know what I was thinking?

I was thinking that one day you'll mean it.

One day you'll wanna know me.

All this, tsk, everything here, I did it for you, Jennifer.

I did it so I could be good enough for you.

Jennifer? Jennifer?

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Jennifer?

That's not fair, David, heh, I didn't know how you felt.

KRAMER: Fair? What's fair? Is it fair

that the woman you spent half your life trying to win over

turns away from you?

Is it fair that she loves another man

and won't even give you the time of day?

Who the hell are you to talk about fair?

What isn't fair, however, might turn out to be quite dramatic.

A tragic triangle.

A husband, a wife, the rejected lover,

and the theater he built as an icon of his passion,

all gone with one single stroke.

They'll be talking about it for months. It's gonna be hot.

KRAMER: Funny thing about

these old theaters.

They're full of history and memories

but they're fire traps.

A little well-placed conflagration

and pop goes the weasel.

That beautiful face.

I hope you appreciate the dramatics here.

[♪♪♪]

GIORDANO: Dr. Livingston, I presume?

He's got Jennifer.

Davidson? I mean, Kramer?

You know?

I bet no one's ever done

anything like this for you before.

That key we found on Watson's body, I tried everything.

His house, his workshop, his boyfriend's place.

I didn't think about the theater.

It fits a number of locks down here.

It doesn't open them but it fits.

I think that Kramer maybe's got a little hideaway down here.

[EXHALES]

I love you so much.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Jennifer? Jennifer? He's got a gun.

[GUNSHOT]

Jonathan!

Don't try to change the ending, Jonathan. I hate rewrites.

Carl?

Davidson!

[BOTH GRUNT]

[♪♪♪]

Darling?

[BOTH SIGH]

GIORDANO: That's okay, you two.

Don't mind me, I'm fine over here by myself.

I just got shot in the leg

and I don't think I'm in shock yet.

I still have a pulse.

Maybe you could hug a little more

then call an ambulance but don't rush because I'm fine.

There's just a small puddle of blood here.

Uh, who do you see about getting a marriage license?

New York, all these people

and they can't get anybody to do anything.

Max, do you really think

getting a marriage license is a good idea?

I mean, how well did you think this out

before you asked me to marry you?

What's there to think about?

I love you, you love me. It's a fit.

Yeah, but I live in New York, Max,

and as attached as you are to your Mr. and Mrs. H,

I'm just as attached to mine.

Just suppose that I popped the question to you

and I asked you to come here

and spend the rest of your life with me in New York.

What would your answer be?

I would probably say,

"Katherine, you're a swell broad

but I ain't leaving the Harts."

[LAUGHS]

You took the words right out of my mouth, Boodles, heh.

You're amazing, you know that?

Yeah, how so?

You just got me to kiss myself off

and not feel too bad about it in the process.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

I just got off the phone with Arthur Krasnow.

The Broadway producer?

He read the script of Whitechapel.

He thinks it's terrific.

Oh.

He, uh, is gonna have to get a new writer.

Well, that's showbiz, I guess.

Well, he's given the cast a two-week paid vacation

and then they start rehearsals.

Heh, that's great, at least nobody will lose their jobs.

Well, shall we?

Tsk, darling, just one last look.

There really is magic in the theater, isn't there?

There certainly is.

Especially the musical theater.

Can't you just feel it in the air?

Why don't we use it?

Heh, what do you mean?

Well, we've got, uh, the piano. Max?

Got the stage, got the lights, no one's here.

[PLAYING]

Oh.

Play it again, Max.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES]

♪ You were meant for me ♪

[LAUGHS]

♪ And I was meant for you ♪

Ha, ha, I don't believe this.

Ooh, not bad. Take it away.

Together?

Hit it. Hit it.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

[LAUGHS]

You were great.

I didn't know you could do that.

Ooh, boy, ooh.

♪ You were meant ♪ ♪ You were meant ♪

♪ For me ♪ ♪ For me ♪

♪ And I ♪

Turn off the lights, will you, Max?

"Good night, Mrs. Calabash."

Wherever you may be.

[♪♪♪]

Now, that's magic.