All language subtitles for Hart to Hart Crimes of the Hart

MAN:
This is my boss,

Jonathan Hart.

He's a millionaire, self-made,
and this is his wife, Jennifer.

She's quite a lady.

Oh, and that's me.
My name is Max.

I take care of them,
which ain't easy,

because when they met,
it was murder.

[♪♪♪]

Are you going to pour
that sherry

or you are just
going to stare at me?

Oh, I'm sorry.
It's... Forgive me.

It's just that
you look so beautiful.

You sound surprised.

Under the circumstances,
I suppose I am.

Well, then be surprised
and pour that sherry.

I need something
to steady my nerves.

[SHERRY TRICKLING
AND GLASS TINKLING]

Here's to getting
out of here alive.

You do realize, the others,
they had to die.

What are you talking about?
Aah!

I could see it, you know.

The way they looked at you,
especially Munson.

I mean,
killing him was easy.

Oh, Freddie, please.
Julia, Julia, I did it for you.

No.
No, everything.

I did it all for you, Julia.
I did it for you.

No, argh, no. Oh!

Freddie, let her go.

No, it can't be.
I mean, you're dead.

You're dead.
I killed you. I killed you!

[JULIA SCREAMS THEN CRIES]

[GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

Ugh, are you all right?

Uh, yes, I think so.

Julia, don't cry for him.

It had to be done.

He was quite crazy, you know.
Yes, I know.

Crazy in love.

[CROWD CLAPPING AND CHEERING]

MAN 1: Bravo.
MAN 2: Bravo.

Well, what did you think?

I thought it was funny,
suspenseful, exciting.

And tragic.

Poor Frederick,
giving up all he had

for the one woman he loved.

Well, that's the part
I identified with.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Ooh.
Ooh, crowded.

This David Kramer has what,

four shows going
at the same time?

The man definitely has
the Midas touch.

JENNIFER:
He's quite an eccentric.

He never gives interviews,

and all his after-theater
parties are by invitation only.

Which raises an interesting
question, why are we here?

Ah.

[♪♪♪]

It's fun, is it?
Heh, yes.

KRAMER:
Mr. and Mrs.

Hart,
David Kramer,

and this beautiful young woman
is Dori Maitland.

Dori is my up and coming
star.

Did you enjoy the play?
JONATHAN: Oh, yes.

JENNIFER: It was wonderful.
Thank you, but believe me,

it's nothing compared to what
I'm staging at my next show.

Ah.
Well, we were delighted

and, uh, quite surprised
to receive the invitation.

Thank you very much.

I hope you'll still feel
that way when you realize

I had ulterior motives
for inviting you here.

I have designs on your wife,
Mr. Hart.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, you're gonna have
to get in line.

Uh, besides, she's taken.
That's a shame,

but not the kind of designs
I had in mind.

I wanna work with her
in my next play.

Uh.

So the poor woman,
starved for affection,

took from him that
which he loved most,

The Ladies of Whitechapel.

Where did you find this?

KRAMER:
By luck, and pure miracle,

Mrs. Hart.

Uh, Jennifer.
Jennifer.

I'm in the final stages
of preparing

a musical
based on Jack the Ripper.

I'm producing and directing

because I intend this to be the
greatest production of my life.

We have a script and it's good
but it's lacking something,

so I sent everyone of my staff
out searching for ideas,

and bingo, one of my development
people came across this.

I didn't think there was
another copy left in the world.

I hate to interrupt,

but would someone fill me in
on what's going on here?

The Ladies of Whitechapel,
by Jennifer Edwards.

Your wife wrote and directed
this play at NYU.

Heh.
You never went to NYU.

No, I mean, yes.
Well, I did for one semester.

It was a special arrangement

from the theater arts
department.

I spent a semester
developing this script

and I did all the research
involved, you know.

Some of the theories,
the traditional theories,

the one about the, uh,
celebrated physician in London,

and then
there was another one

about a member of the
Royal Family who went berserk,

but there was one possibility

and it really intrigued me.

And she came up with a unique
and most remarkable take

on an old and tired subject,

which is the possibility
that Jack the Ripper

was actually a woman abused
and neglected by her husband.

Remind me
never to neglect you.

Ha-ha, well, it was hardly
Broadway material.

Why don't you let me
be the judge of that?

Let's go, Dori.
Peter, not now.

Now, let's go.

You know, Peter, you're a good
agent. At least you were.

Why don't you collect your 10
percent and wait in the wings?

We had a career plan
before you, Kramer.

We'll have one long
after you're gone.

Okay, Peter, that is enough.
Do you understand?

Do you understand
what I'm saying?

Let's leave. I am very sorry.
It was nice meeting you both.

Sorry about that.

An agent's worst nightmare.

He's in love with his client

and he worries that someone else
might take her away.

[♪♪♪]

Kind of like the play
we saw tonight.

Exactly.
It's a familiar theme.

Getting back to your play,
Jennifer.

I have a good script but
I could use some of your ideas.

It would mean
coming to New York, of course.

Not on a full time basis,
just for some consulting.

You might enjoy it.

Well, I'm very flattered but--

What kind of a time frame
are you talking about?

Big rush.
Yesterday, if possible.

Heh.

Look, I realize
this is all very last minute,

and I apologize for the
theatrics but that is my forte.

Here's my card.

I'm in town until Friday.

Let me know that you're not
gonna break my heart.

Nice meeting you both.
Good night.

Broadway musical.

Darling, Jackie the Ripper?

Well...
Heh.

I think I'm in shock.
Well, think how I feel.

I'm learning things about you
I never knew before.

Not only
are you a playwright,

but that, uh, you have
this fascination now

for, uh, serial killers.
No.

What are you looking for?

Well, I had
my compact in here.

I don't know.
My head's spinning.

What do you think?
I think it'd be great.

Do you?
Yeah.

We could have fun, couldn't we?
Uh-huh.

I hope I could be
some use to him.

I don't know if I remember
all that research.

Well, maybe we ought to take
a walk down memory lane.

JENNIFER:
I didn't realize

I had all this stuff here.

Well, they sent it over
years ago.

Huh.

"How I wish
you were standing here

beside me enjoying the sand
and the surf.

Love always, Buster".
Oh, Buster.

Heh, high school.
Ah.

Quarterback.

Well, he couldn't spell
very well.

Football scholarship.
Oh, look at this.

Hmm. Cheerleader.

"B"? This is yours, huh?
Bulldogs.

Bulldogs?
Mm-hm.

You mean, with a B,
with a B, with a B-U-L.

With an L, with an L,
with an L, with a D-O-G.

Bulldogs, bulldogs--
Mm, No, not exactly.

More like this.

Uh...

B-U, B-U, B-U,
Ha-ha.

L-L, L-L, L-L,
D-O, G-S.

Bulldogs, Bulldogs, argh.

Bulldogs!

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, well?
Lucky Buster.

Where is your high school
box of memories?

Well, my high school memories
weren't exactly worth keeping.

Then I met Max and, uh, college
was definitely an improvement.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wow-wee.

That was my baby.

A 1950 Ford convertible.

Max wanted me to drive up
to school, in style.

What do you think?

Mr. Salty looks pretty good
in the third.

[YELPS]

No? What about Time Bandit?

All right, we got Up and at Them
in the first,

Split Second in the second,
and Time Bandit in the third.

[DOG WOOFS]

If you're wrong about this,
it's back to dry food.

[YELPS]

I wonder what's keeping
Mr. and Mrs. H?

Technique
was absolutely critical.

Timing had to be perfect.

Really?
Absolutely.

[♪♪♪]

Let me show you. See you had
your arm around the girl, here.

Uh-huh.
This hand on the wheel.

Now, the most important thing
is, you had to know the roads,

the right turns
and the left turns,

see, because when you came up
to the right turn,

you'd go this way and this was
the do or die move to left,

Oh.
see?

Heh.
If you get past this...

What?
Well, I don't know.

I never got that far.

Well, listen,
you'd better be careful

because my father expects us
home by 11.

Oh, we had a contingency
for that.

The old running out of gas
maneuver.

You didn't do that, did you?

Well, it depended
on the girl's father.

You know, we ran out of gas
once, on Mulholland Drive.

Well, that was two years ago,
darling.

You didn't plan that,
did you?

You didn't get home at 11,
did you? Hmm?

[CHUCKLES]

Hi, Max.
Sorry to keep you waiting.

We found some surprises
in there.

Surprises?

Well, that's okay, Mr. H.

I filled up the car.

I'd hate to see you run
out of gas at a bad time.

Pack up some bags, Max.
We're going to New York.

New York?
Yeah.

We're going to do
a Broadway musical, Max.

It should be fun.

You mean with lots of dancers
and chorus girls

showing a lot of leg?
That kind of musical?

Something like that.
What do you think?

Ah, it'll be Junior's first
trip to the Big Apple.

You don't know
what you're in for, pal.

I'm gonna teach you
something about attitude.

You're gonna say, hey, I'm
walking here. I'm walking here.

[♪♪♪]

You know this was supposed
to be my show.

Your show? Call security.
Gee, I don't remember

ever seeing your name
above the title.

You know damn well what
I mean, Kramer.

You promised me
your next show.

I already started working
on the preliminaries

and it was a hell of a lot more
inventive than this garbage.

KRAMER:
Well, this is a big show, Hal,

and you just don't have
the experience.

HAL:
You mean you don't have the guts

to give me my shot.

You're a gutless liar,
Kramer.

Let's see what the press does
with that.

KRAMER:
Get out of my theater, Hal.

Get out and go home.

HAL:
This isn't the end of this.

Hey. Hey.
Well, that was stupid, Trask.

Now get out of here.
Go home. Right now.

We're gonna
have to remake that.

Whatever it takes do it.

JENNIFER:
David?

Jennifer.

I hope this wasn't
the wrong time to come.

No, you came at a great time.
Come on up.

Okay.

Besides, I would think

that any time you walked into
a room would be a great time.

Oh, heh, I hope you feel
that way after we work together.

Well, in this line of work

we're gonna run through
a lot of feelings together.

Now come here.
I want you to stand right here.

Right here?
Right here.

Charlie, will you kill
the house lights

and give me the first cue?

Now, just imagine a few hundred
people out there in the dark.

All eyes are on the stage.

It's so quiet
you can hear them inhale.

Do you feel it?

[♪♪♪]

I feel my knees shaking.

Heh, well, this is my 16th show
and I still get goose bumps.

Okay, Charlie, thanks.

Ooh, heh, wow.

Do you know,
I am so glad you made it here.

Ah, thank you.
Have you gotten settled?

Well, I dropped Jonathan
and Max off at the apartment

and came straight here.
Great. I love that.

It's called being a trooper.
Jody?

Jennifer Hart,
Jody, my assistant.

How do you do?
Great to meet you, Mrs. Hart.

Jody, would you please show
Mrs. Hart around the theater,

introduce her to everyone
and make her feel at home?

Yes, sir.

You and I will work
together later.

Good, great.
Well, then I'll see you later.

Bye-bye.
Bye.

[♪♪♪]

Well, this is
the old lighting board.

It doesn't work anymore,
but David keeps it around

because it reminds him
of his school.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So you're the lady
who wrote the masterpiece

that's going to save us all.

Well, I don't know about that.
I'm Alan Watson.

Oh.
These are my sets.

How do you do?
They're wonderful.

You haven't done Broadway
before, have you?

No.
Well, good luck.

Hope you know what you're
getting yourself in for.

[♪♪♪]

Me too.

I'll show you
the dressing rooms.

Ah.

What do you think of this?
For the dressing room, act two.

It's, uh, very nice.

Where'd you find it?

Oh, it's amazing what
you can find around this place

if you poke around enough.
Lots of nooks and crannies.

Why am I telling you?
It's your theater.

Well, there are probably
parts of it

that even I haven't seen yet.
Really?

Anyway, what do you think?

I think you found it
but that doesn't surprise me.

[CHUCKLES]

Thanks for sticking up
for my sets back there.

All in a day's work.

I, uh, just wanna say

how much I enjoy
working with you, Mr. Kramer.

You're an interesting man.
This is an interesting place.

I'd like to think we have
a long future together.

Just keep up the good work.
That's all it takes.

Right.

Good night.

[♪♪♪]

For you.

Boodles, you look wonderful.
I've missed you.

KRAMER:
I think we still have too many

lead women in the piece.

They take the focus off
of Kitty.

The focus has to be on Kitty,
just like in your version.

What if we combine
Claire and Kitty?

One woman, mostly Kitty, but
with some of Claire's problems?

That's perfect.

Claire has a terrific number
right after the funeral.

It's very moving
and it's perfect for Kitty.

I knew I made the right decision
by asking for your help.

Ah.

I hope I'm not interrupting.
No, we needed a break anyway.

Hello, darling.
Hi.

You know, your wife
is very talented, Mr. Hart.

Oh.
Very good instincts.

I think it was her instincts
that first attracted me to her.

I thought you might be free
for lunch.

One hour.
We're on a tight schedule.

I'll see you later.

Well, how's it going?
Oh, great, great.

Isn't this a wonderful
old theater?

Full of little passageways
and all.

Oh, you see this?
This is a big back drop

that's going to have the whole
of Whitechapel Street on it.

Ah,
that's the lighting board.

They're mixing it all together,
and, uh, viola, the theater.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[MAN SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN:
So you were just standing there

when this thing happened?

As I told you,
I was talking to my husband

on the edge
of the proscenium.

Excuse me? Proscenium? What is
that, some kind of Greek word?

On the edge of the stage.

I was describing the set.

Too bad
the set designer's dead

or he could explain
the set to us, in English.

Alan Watson,
do either of you know this guy?

We just got here
yesterday, lieutenant.

Detective.
Detective Frank Giordano.

Lieutenant is something
they're keeping from me

to give my mother still
a little bit more to pray for.

You know what I'm saying?
Heh.

Mrs. Hart, um, did you,
by any chance, hear anything

before this guy
dropped in on you? A fight...

Uh, some kind of argument,
something I can put in here

to make it look like I'm
a professional police officer?

You may not know it but
they grade us on this stuff.

KRAMER:
Look, detective, unless you got

some reason to be suspicious,

I got a show to open here.

I don't need the negative
publicity and word of mouth.

What happened, happened.

It was a tragedy.
No question about it,

but unless you have some reason
to believe otherwise,

it would appear
that it was nothing more

than a terrible accident.

Heh, yeah,
like my first marriage.

Look, Mr. Kramer,
some guy goes up in the flys,

is that what you call it?
Some guy goes up in the flys,

get tangled up in rope
and then he falls.

Now what are the odds that rope
will wind up around his neck?

I didn't know
we were playing the odds.

I'm a cop.

If something goes down
that beats the odds,

my nose sure as hell
better start twitching

or I might as well partner with
my cousin Dom at the bakery.

By the way,
you like cannolis?

Veneztia Bakery, Mulberry
Street, best in the city.

Is that all, detective?
That's all for now, Mr. Hart,

but as they say
in these circumstances,

don't leave town
for a while, okay? Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

MAN:
You gotta your gnocchi,

you gotta your zabaglione,

you gotta your Ziti al Forno,

you gotta whatever
your gorgeous face wants.

Oh, thank you, heh.

Well, it's quite a selection.
What do you suggest?

You a beautiful woman.

I can tell just by looking
at you, what you like.

Oh?
I make a choice for you.

I give you the best
in the house.

Okay.
Mostacciolli Novacento Quatro.

Are you Italian?

No, I'm Jewish
but I need the job.

if you don't mind,
novacento.

Cento, cento,
well, novacento, good.

I'll have that.
MAN: And you?

Well, let's see.

Come on, Christmas is coming.

What do you suggest?
Spaghetti and meatballs.

Ciao.
Bye.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I love New York.
Yeah, I know why.

Why?

Because all the waiters
flirt with you.

Oh--
Food's great here,

but they're a little slow,
so I took the liberty

of getting you something.

Vito, can you bring three
glasses over here? Thank you.

Why don't you join us?

Have some lunch?
Heh, no, thanks.

I gotta watch the gut.

Nothing burns a hole
in the old stomach lining

better than Italian deli.
Thank you for sharing that.

You know what? Maybe I will
just pick at this a little bit.

Why do we have the pleasure
of your company?

Mr. Hart, I had to think
about this for a few minutes.

Do I talk to the wife alone,

do I talk to the husband
and wife together,

see what kind of reactions
I get?

The stuff they don't teach you
in the academy. It's amazing.

Maybe you missed it
when you were out snacking.

Heh, that's funny,

but, Mrs. Hart,
is this your signature?

It looks like it.
Mr. Hart?

If Jennifer says
that's her signature,

then I suppose it was.

No, no.
Can you pass me the wine?

Allow me.

This signature was, uh,
torn off this note.

I made some copies
and I just tore it off just now.

Very dramatic.

Darling?
I liked it.

Go ahead, read it.

"I'll never forget
Wednesday night. Jennifer."

What is this supposed
to mean?

That's also your handwriting,
right?

It looks like it.

"I'll never forget
Wednesday night. Jennifer."

You got here Wednesday afternoon
didn't you, Mrs. Hart?

That's right.

How well do you know
this Alan Watson?

I don't know him at all.

If you have something to ask,
detective,

why don't you just ask it?
Heh.

Yes, I know I can be annoying
and I'm working on it,

I swear, I am,

but, uh, this note was found
on the body of the deceased.

It was folded
neatly in his wallet

like it was important
to him.

Detective Giordano--
Easy, Mr. Hart. We'll get there.

You better.

[SIGHS]

You know what this is?
A key.

[CHUCKLES]

My many years
of detective work

have clued me
into this fact,

but, uh,
do you recognize it?

No, it's not one of
mine. Darling?

I never saw it
before.

What's this all about?

Well, this key was wrapped
up in the note

and I just thought there might
be some kind of connection.

One last thing,
it's more important

now that you folks
stick around

because, uh, things are
starting to get messy,

which means
if we're onto something,

I wouldn't want you
leaving town

when we're in the middle
of things.

Thanks for the olives
and the wine.

Enjoy.
Uh-huh.

Excusa. Mangia.

Here's to you.

JENNIFER:
Giordano

was right about one thing.

What's that?
That Italian deli.

I can feel it lying
in wait.

That's part
of its charm.

Heh.

What's that?
That's it.

That's what?

I owed you 15 minutes.
It's your turn.

Oh, no, no, no,
you owed me 22 minutes,

and there's ten
minutes left.

Ten minutes?
Uh-huh, ten minutes.

Oh, you're tough.
Heh.

Next thing I know
I'll be punching time cards.

Do you doubt
my word?

You do realize that
we're both pretty good suspects

as far as Detective Giordano
is concerned?

Well, for what it's worth,
I don't believe you

had anything to do with it.

I got word through
the grapevine

that some of the backers
are pulling out.

Kramer's looking
for new blood.

Really?

Well, that's too bad.

Don't worry, you're being
massaged by the new blood.

Oh, darling,
you don't have to do that.

Ah, something's
going on.

I don't want you
there alone.

If there's trouble,
I want to be close by,

and if I have money
in the show,

I have a good reason
for hanging around the theater.

You're wonderful.

I have a confession
to make.

I lied about the ten minutes.
It's your turn.

You got pretty scratchy
for the ten minutes.

Well, ten minutes
is ten minutes.

You're telling me.

[LAUGHS]

♪ Why do I feel caught again ♪

♪ Why can't my soul be free ♪

♪ Will demons
I have fought before ♪

♪ Come for me ♪

♪ Come for me ♪

She is wonderful.
Did you doubt me?

Oh, heh, stop.

♪ I appear beside myself ♪

♪ And who's inside of me ♪

♪ If I appear beside myself ♪

♪ What stranger lives inside ♪

Hi.
Hi.

♪ Of me ♪

That was lovely,
Dori.

Would you wait on stage
a few minutes?

I have a few things I'd
like to go over with you

in your dressing room.

Great.

I think this would be a
good time to tell him.

Would you order lunch
for two?

Sure.
Good.

Ah, Jonathan,
I didn't see you come in.

I thought you'd be out finding
some companies to buy.

Actually, I came to do a little
business here.

Say hello to your new partner.
My partner?

Well, I figured that if
David Kramer was doing a show,

and to top it off
with the woman I love,

what better way
to spend my money?

Besides, I've always been
fascinated by the theater,

and I thought this would be
a good way to get involved.

Well, you might wanna know
who you're dealing with

before you waste
your money.

This man's a liar.

He's untrustworthy, dishonest--
Ah, Jonathan Hart, Hal Trask.

Hal seems to feel that I have
reneged on a promise to him.

Think nothing, Kramer.
I know what you said.

I also know what happened
to Alan Watson.

With him dead,
you need me now, Kramer.

The sets are finished.

They're Alan's sets
and they're brilliant.

When the show opens,
but a ticket, study them.

You'll get there.

You're a real bastard.
At best.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Well, welcome to the theater,
and thank you.

I hope your faith in me
will pay off.

I have no doubt
that it will.

Listen, I'd like to work
through lunch with Jennifer.

No problem.

I'm gonna go to the gym
and then I'll check on Max.

JENNIFER: Umm, okay.
See you later.

Wasn't that number a smash?
Terrific.

JONATHAN:
Something wrong, Max?

Seems like
you're not all here.

I ain't been all here
since I got here, Mr. H.

Well, what's going on?

Katherine's going on.

Katherine Kendrick,
next door.

Oh, that kind of
what's going on.

How bad is it?

As bad as it gets.

She calls me Boodles.

Heh, that bad, huh?

[♪♪♪]

Have you discussed it
with her?

I got close, but I wound up
handing her the pepper instead.

Are you thinking what
I think you're thinking?

I'm afraid I might be,

but it's difficult to
understand women nowadays.

JONATHAN:
Yeah, it sure is.

It's difficult to understand
women yesterday, today,

and, uh,
I'm sure tomorrow.

MAX:
Yeah, you are right, Mr. H.

Um, look, Max

if you're thinking
about getting married,

you shouldn't worry
about me and Jennifer.

Whatever you want,
we're behind you.

We love you, and all we want
is the best for you.

Thanks.

You know,
you once told me

when I was in trouble
and had a difficult time

making a decision,

that, uh, life's chances
were like today's lettuce.

It's crisp
and new today,

brown and wilted
if you let them lay around.

You know what
I think you should do?

What?

Go for it.

Thanks. Thanks.

Come on Freeway, let's go.
I gotta go think.

I'll be upstairs, Max.

[DOORKNOB CLICK
AND DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

[GUNSHOT]

[FIRE ALARM WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN:
Cast on stage

in ten minutes.

David.
KRAMER: Jonathan, unbelievable.

I just heard
what happened.

I'm glad you're all right.
So am I.

You know, Jennifer, you didn't
have to come back here.

Why don't the two
of you just go on home?

Darling?

Well, actually I think
I'd like to stay.

It might be safer.

Exercise doesn't seem to be
too good for my health.

[CHUCKLES]

In that case,
make yourself comfortable.

We'll be going over the
Kitty Constable scene

in about ten minutes.
I could use your help.

Good. Oh, we'll be right
here. Shall we?

[SIGHS]

Are you all right?

Oh, I keep thinking
about that Giordano.

He had cops crawling all
over the locker room

and he never showed up
at the crime scene.

Ah.

GIORDANO:
Crime scene. I like that.

Very professional,

and then I'm supposed to ask
if you got a good look at him,

but I don't supposed
you did, right?

Right.

Where did you come from

and why weren't you
at the gym?

Listen, folks, I'm supposed
to be a crime stopper

and a P.R. guy
all rolled into one.

Between you, me
and the walls,

this kind of stuff
goes on every day.

What are you gonna do
about it?

Take plenty of antacid,
stay off the tranquilizers,

go home and get some sleep.

Is that it?
You done?

I wish. I got like
five hours to go,

but as far as
this is concerned,

I'll fill out
a report.

All I'm telling you
is don't expect too much.

So, uh, Mrs. Hart,
how goes the play?

Fine.

So I was thinking, ah,

well, see, maybe I thought you
could possibly get Kramer

to, uh, give the wife
a chance,

maybe read for one of the
bar maids or something?

What can I tell you?
Showbiz.

Makes everybody
a little crazy.

So it seems.
Heh.

I hear you're putting money
into this shebang too.

Is that right?
Oh, news travels fast.

I'm impressed.

That's why they pay me
the big bucks,

to keep up
with what's going on.

I'll see you people.

[♪♪♪]

Do you believe him?

There's a threat
on your life

and he's trying to get
his wife into the play.

Showbiz.

You remember the other day
when I handed you the pepper?

What are you talking about,
Boodles?

It's about you and me,
Katherine.

About making our own recipe,
if you know what I mean.

What are you talking
about, Max?

I'll make it plain
and simple.

You and me.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Who is it?

CHARLES:
Police Inspector

Charles Masters.

I'm looking
for Jonathan Hart.

Yeah, that's me.

How do you do?

Sorry to just barge in
on you like this,

but I heard you had
a little trouble earlier.

I've already been through
that with the police.

You mean
Detective Giordano?

Yeah, that's who
I mean.

Well, if you don't mind,
Mr. Hart,

uh, we got a call today
from a Mr. Kramer's office,

David Kramer.
I know him.

Well, Mr. Kramer said that
Detective Giordano

didn't exactly handle himself
in a professional manner.

Look, I know Frank Giordano,
Mr. Hart. He's a good cop.

He just lacks a little
bedside manners.

Anyway, the department
wanted

somebody else
to come along,

maybe get more
deeply involved.

Well, I was just about
to do that myself.

I'm going upstairs to check
out the locker room.

Care to join me?
It's a pleasure.

Max, I'll be back
in a little bit.

Now, you're sure the shots
came from that direction?

No, I'm not sure about
anything, Inspector.

It's just my best guess.

Find something?

Nine millimeter high
velocity ammunition.

It seems you had a pretty
serious assailant, Mr. Hart.

Well, I'm glad.

I'd have been disappointed
if he was half-hearted.

Heh.

Well, the good thing is

we got a lot of surface area
to work with.

If he wasn't
wearing gloves,

we'll probably come up
with something.

I'll let you know what
we find, Mr. Hart.

Thanks very much.

And, once again,

I apologize
for any bad impression

left by Detective Giordano.
No problem.

[♪♪♪]

DORI:
And I take it you're very

concerned with my welfare.

The whole thing needs to
go just a little faster.

MALE ACTOR:
Just doing my job, Miss.

I'm sure
you are Constable.

Okay, hold it.

You're being too hard
on him, Dori.

When she says, and I take it
you're really concerned

about my welfare,
it's irony.

The woman's been beaten
and abandoned by her husband,

suddenly a constable
shows up

and says that
he's interested in her?

It's a laugh, right?

What she's
really saying is,

"where were you
when I needed you."

Now let's take it
again, please.

This is hard enough without
her agent sitting here,

and I think you missed
a light cue.

I didn't change
a thing.

Are you sleeping with him?
DORI: Don't you dare.

DORI: You let me go. Now I am...
I'm talking to you.

MAN: Reset.
DORI: Let me go.

You stay here,
because right now

I want to find out
just what the hell is...

Dori, are you all right?

Just stay outta this,
Kramer, all right?

It's none
of your business.

She has the lead
in my show.

That makes everything
about her my business.

MAN:
Ho, ho, take it easy.

Peter, Peter, come on.

PETER:
Get off me.

Listen to me, Dori.

I've never led you wrong.

I'm telling you now
you're making a mistake.

Get outta this play.
Get away from this man.

I'll get you.
I'll get you another show.

Just, just do it.
You're better than this.

Get out, Peter.

What? What?

All right, everybody,
let's call it today.

I've had enough
melodrama.

Monday morning,
nine o'clock.

Go talk to him, Dori.

Last chance,
this will not happen again.

[GROANS]

Are you all right?
I'm fine.

I've had worse than that before.
Whoof.

Thought show business was easy.
I'm beginning to learn.

We have five weeks
before opening

and all I've been doing
is putting out fires.

We gotta get some work done.

Is there anything
I can do to help?

Ugh, look, I got a house
out in the island.

It's only about two hours
from here. It's quiet.

No interruptions.

If we left now,
we'd have the whole weekend.

I know
what you're thinking.

Why don't you give Jonathan a
call and ask him to meet us?

I think the break
will do us both good.

All right, all right,
I'll do that.

Uh...
Jody?

Would you ask Pat to bring
the car around, please?

[♪♪♪]

Good night, Pat.
PAT: Good night, Mr. Kramer.

If I may?
Thank you.

That's the way
we do things here.

KRAMER:
What time did Jonathan

say he'd be out?

I don't know.
He wasn't home,

so I left a message with the
directions on the machine.

What? Heh, what?
Nothing.

Just trying to figure
you out, that's all.

Heh, figure me out?

I didn't know
I was a mystery.

I hope you don't think
I'm outta line,

but I'm kind of surprised
you married

into the world
of business.

Oh, heh, I married Jonathan,
not his work.

Don't get me wrong.

Jonathan seems
like a wonderful man,

just not the person
I might've pictured you with,

that's all.

Kramer's first rule
of theater.

It's the unexpected that keeps
them coming back for more.

[CHUCKLES]

Anyway, makes
for fascinating company.

Thank you.

JENNIFER [OVER SPEAKERS]:
The turn off

for Cranbury Hill Road.

Make a left, go up the hill.

It's number 227,
last house on the right.

I love you, darling.

I know this
is a last minute thing,

but I think
David's right.

Getting out of the city
should be good for all of us.

I'll see you later.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

Did you get that, Max?
Got it.

MAX: Here you go Mr. H.
Thanks.

You going over to Katherine's?
Yep.

Is tonight the night?
Could be, maybe.

Maybe not.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

JONATHAN:
I'll get it, Max.

Who is it?
MASTERS: It's Inspector Masters.

Oh, Inspector, come on in.
Thanks.

I didn't expect
to see you so soon.

News already?

Well, no news
on the bullet,

but I just came back
from the theater.

I understand that
Mr. Kramer's assistant

that he drove out to Long Island
with your wife tonight.

Yeah that's right.
I'm on my way to join them.

I'm just waiting
for the drive to take me out.

Well, we understand that,
Mr. Hart,

but with all the stuff
that's going on,

I'd really appreciate it

if you'd let me drive you
out there myself,

just to be on the safe side.

No, I don't need you to do
that, Inspector, thanks.

No, really,
it's my pleasure,

and besides, I just gave
your driver the night off.

Heh.
Oh, don't worry.

I gave him a good tip.

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

Where are we going?
A little detour, Mr. Hart.

This is where we get out.
What's going on?

Take off your seat belt

and keep your hands
where I can see them.

Ah, ah, ah, slowly.

I guess this explains the
gun shots in the locker room

and why no one else
could find the shells

in the back except you.

Just shut up
and keep moving.

Maybe you can explain why all
of this is happening to me.

I have no idea
what this is all about.

It's about dying,
Mr. Hart,

quietly, alone
and out of the way.

Oh.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

KRAMER: Sorry, I'm late.
JENNIFER: Ah.

KRAMER:
From my private reserve,

especially for you.

JENNIFER:
Oh. Huh, I wonder

where Jonathan is.

KRAMER:
Well, it's probably

the weather.

Adds another hour
to the drive, at least.

He'll be here.
JENNIFER: Ah, thank you.

Uh, to Whitechapel.
Oh, to Whitechapel.

JENNIFER:
Um.

I admire your courage,
Jennifer.

I didn't know
I was being courageous.

Heh.
On the contrary.

Driving out to my house like
this, being alone with me.

I'm sure word
of my reputation

has found its way
to the West Coast.

Oh, only dribs and drabs.

Mostly gossip, uh, about
you and very young starlets.

I can't say that all the
allegations are unfounded.

Hazard of the trade.
I hope you have insurance.

[LAUGHS]

You see,
that's what I miss.

Don't get me wrong.

It's not as if my situation
doesn't have its benefits,

but I do get starved
for conversation

with an intelligent woman.

Well, it depends on
what you're looking for.

That's true.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Oh, Jonathan.
Yes.

Darling.

What the hell's going on?

Now, let me get this straight,
Mr. Hart.

This Inspector Masters was sent
in to oversee the case

because I wasn't paying
enough attention?

Is that the drift?

He said he requested it
from Kramer's office.

I asked Kramer about it.
He said it didn't happen.

Yeah, well, Kramer's right.

If he had contact
with the department,

I would know about it,
if I was paying attention.

Look, no one is blaming you
for what happened.

That's very comforting.
Thank you.

The fact is

that I am suddenly on
someone's most wanted list

and I wanna know why.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello. Hey, Sally.
No, I picked the Nicks.

Yeah, what makes you
so smart?

Well, who knew
he was gonna get hurt?

Next time
I'll know better.

What do you got for me?
Yeah. Yeah, got you.

Thanks.

Well?

My cousin Sal
works in personnel.

Checked every precinct.

No Inspector Masters.

No one by that name
or rank

anywhere
in the entire department.

[♪♪♪]

Here we are.

Someone once told me

investing in a Broadway
show was dangerous.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES THEN
JONATHAN GROANS]

Oh, let me help you.
I wonder if he knew something?

Ah, well, they always said
the theater was exciting.

Max?
It makes no sense.

This Inspector Masters,
I keep wondering

if he was the guy
who killed Watson,

the set designer.

If so, why?

And if he did kill him,
why was he after me next?

Huh. Max?

He's not here.
I'll leave him a note.

He's probably over
at Katherine's.

At this hour?

Yeah, things are heating up
in the kitchen.

Really?

Can't you find your pen?

No, I found my pen.

My lipstick's gone.
That's funny.

Getting absent-minded
in your old age?

Thank you, darling.

Now,
what's all this about Max?

Well, uh...

I think Max is going to
get married.

Married?

That really is serious.

That would mean
he'd be leaving us.

I can't imagine
what it would be like

not having him around
all the time.

Heh.

Oh, me either,
darling,

but if it makes
him happy.

Oh, well, I wish him
all the happiness

I've had in my life,
and you're my happiness.

Um.

Oh.
Well, oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Is that better?

[GROANS]

Ah.
Ah, I don't know.

Try it again
and I'll let you know.

[JENNIFER LAUGHS]

Uh-huh, that's better.
Um. Is it?

The cross-fade needs
to have it faster.

♪ You've got to understand
There's someone out there ♪

♪ Won't you please believe me
It's no lie ♪

♪ Someone's heart is beating
In the shadows ♪

♪ No matter where I go
I feel those eyes ♪

♪ Those eyes ♪

♪ You've got to understand
I'm not pretending ♪

I don't want her
looking off to the side.

♪ Can't I make you see
That this is real ♪

♪ Someone's hatred glares at me
Through darkness ♪

♪ I quake at what each
Streetlight might reveal ♪

No, no.

No, no.

Come on, Dori.
What is this?

Stop.
Take a deep breath.

[SIGHS]

This entire number for Kitty
means two words.

Take me.

She's got nothing
going on at home

except the occasional
black eye.

She's boiling over.
She's empty inside.

She needs to feel
that she's desirable

that men want her for something
more than a punching bag.

She wants someone
to love her

and she wants him now.

Lunch, everyone.

Be back at 2:00.

Jonathan?

MAN:
Yeah. Okay, come down.

I've been thinking.

Maybe you should pull out
of the show.

Well, so why is that?
Isn't it obvious?

It's very clear to me
that someone is trying

to make sure that this show
never gets off the ground.

The moment you signed on,
you became a target.

It's me
they're trying to sabotage.

I have enough on my mind

without having to worry
about my backers.

We made a deal, David.
Screw the deal.

I'll make an exception
this time

and put my own money
into this extravaganza.

I don't wanna feel
responsible

if something should happen
to you.

Well, I appreciate that,

but I'm responsible
for what happens to me,

so let's let it ride.

Well, I've gotta go.

See you tonight, darling.
All right.

You married
an obstinate man.

Hmm, I know.

That's one of the things
I love about him.

I hope he realizes
how lucky he is.

So do I.

How about lunch?

Lunch.

GIORDANO:
Is that great pizza or what?

JONATHAN:
Yeah, very good.

GIORDANO:
"Yeah, very good?"

Are you kidding me?
That's the best in the city.

You're telling me
you had better than this?

Look at this crust.

It's a work of art.
That's pure genius.

I don't know
how you people in L.A. do it.

I was out there
once visiting a cousin.

The pizza tasted like one
of them English muffin things

with tomato sauce
and American cheese

and you pop it in a
toaster oven, oh, heh.

JONATHAN: That's him.
GIORDANO: You sure?

You know pizza,
I know faces.

Got you.
Mike Royston.

For what it's worth,
it makes sense.

JONATHAN: How's that?
He's an actor.

Huh, well, he convinced
the hell out of me.

GIORDANO:
Of course, he's also

a three-time loser.

Can I have a copy
of this picture?

Yeah, sure.

JONATHAN:
Well, it seems as

if Michael Royston

is unreachable, unfindable
and permanently out of town.

MAX:
An actor?

Mr. H, that don't wash.

Yeah, that's true.

Whoever heard of an actor

who couldn't be reached
by a telephone?

Hey, Max, uh...

[♪♪♪]

I could use your help
for something.

What about, Mr. H?

You always wanted to be
in show business, didn't you?

I did.

Well, how about him?

Look, Gold, I've been
to a dozen agencies

looking for the right face
for this project.

I'm getting tired.
I ain't getting any younger.

I walked out of better
places than this,

so if you ain't got
what I'm looking for,

let's kiss
and call it a day.

Please, Mr. Brandt,
or can I call you Sid?

My friends call me
Mr. Brandt.

Mr. Brandt, tell me again
what you're looking for.

Maybe I didn't
hear it exactly.

Late 30s,
respectable looking.

Complex,
if you get my drift.

Complex, complex.

I'm getting a complex.

Wait a minute.
Here, I got it.

What about him?

Just what
the doctor ordered.

Yeah, yeah,
that's more like it.

A definite possible.
Good face.

Good but evil,
I mean, complex.

Definitely
to be considered.

What are the chances
of meeting this guy

before hell freezes over?

Just give me a time
and a place.

The Oak Room,
tonight, 8:00.

Hi, I'm Mike Royston.

I'm looking for
a "Sid" somebody.

I can't remember
his last name.

Oh, thanks.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sid?

Ah, Mr. Royston.

How do you do?

Inspector.
Ah.

[♪♪♪]

[GROANS THEN THUDS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Oh, my God,
he's killed him.

I don't know what it
is about you, Mr. Hart,

but you seem to drag
trouble around

like toilet paper sticking
to a wet shoe.

Very pretty.

You don't honestly
believe

he had anything
to do with this?

Now why would
I think that?

A guy tries to kill
Mr. Hart,

Mr. Hart smokes him out,
invites him to dinner,

two minutes later
the guy's dead

and Mr. Hart's holding
a knife.

It's the farthest thing
from my mind.

Rodriguez, cuff him.

What?

What are you doing?

GIORDANO:
I'm performing an arrest.

You have the right
to remain silent,

you have the right
to an attorney.

If you can't afford
an attorney, cop talk.

Don't have to tell me
one damn thing.

You get to look out
for your own butt

and the police cannot screw with
you. Do you understand that?

Loud and clear.
Jonathan.

GIORDANO:
Take him in.

I think you'd better give
Harry Doyle a call.

Don't panic.

I left my rubber hose
in my good suit.

I had a hot date last week.

Why don't you get up,
Mr. Hart

and, uh, I'll unburden
you over here.

[JONATHAN GROANS]

Aren't you afraid
I'm gonna overpower you?

Heh.
Hell, you out earn me.

That's enough grief.

You put on a real good show
back there, detective.

Are you gonna fill me in?

You're a smart guy,
Mr. Hart.

Most guys I meet
who think they're smart

aren't even smart enough
to be dumb

but you're a keeper.
You're a piece of work.

Thanks,

and you don't think
that I killed Mike Royston.

No, you got
too much class.

If you were gonna
kill somebody,

you'd use the right fork,
if you know what I'm saying.

I'll take that
as a compliment.

GIORDANO:
It was meant as one.

Mr. Hart, I don't know
what's going down around here

but someone sure as
hell wants it to look like

you stuck that shiv
into Royston's chest,

so I figure, what the hell.
Give them a show.

If it makes him confident,

they think they set you up
and won,

maybe they'll let down
and make a mistake.

Sorry about those but I had
to make it look convincing.

So where do we go
from here?

We don't go, I go.

Don't try this at home,
Mr. Hart.

You know, like it says on TV,
leave it to the professionals.

In spite of what
you might think,

I know what I'm doing.

Like you,
I'm very good at what I do.

Twice you didn't trust me

and twice you stepped
into something. You know what?

I think it's time that you
and I started

being nice to each other.

Let's make a deal.

You go back to that
pretty wife of yours,

lead the good life
and let me traipse

through the sewers with
the vermin and the slime.

It ain't much
but it's home.

You're a piece of work.

JENNIFER:
Darling, are you all right?

Hey, we're professionals
around here.

When I work over a guy,
I leave no marks.

I called Harry Doyle.
It's okay.

We're going home.

What happened?

JONATHAN:
We're going home.

They're not gonna arrest me.

Oh, I was scared sick.
Me too.

David, where is everybody?

Ah,
I canceled the rehearsal.

Everything seems to be
falling apart.

You're not thinking of calling
the play off, are you?

I don't know.
I'm thinking about it.

It's not worth it,
Jennifer.

I knew Mike Royston,
you know, an actor.

Had a part in a show
I did two years ago.

He'd been after me ever
since to hire him again

and I kept shining him on.

Somehow I feel
responsible.

Oh, I didn't realize
you knew him.

I mean,
now that Royston's...

now that he's dead,

maybe that'll put an end
to all this trouble.

It may be that he was
responsible for most of it.

Then who killed him?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Nothing's working out
as I hoped it would.

This is the most important
production of my life

and it's just
coming apart.

The truth is,

this play may have been
doomed from the beginning.

It'll never work out
the way I planned.

David, the play is good.
It's very good.

If you're worried about
Jonathan and me,

we can just leave

but don't give up
the play.

That's what I love
about you, Jennifer.

You make any man just wanna
keep on trying, heh.

Oh, heh, well,
the show must go on, right?

Right. You are
a trooper, aren't you?

I'm a trooper with, uh,
the rest of the morning off.

I have a lot of things
I can do.

How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow.
Great, that's it.

Bye.

[♪♪♪]

What are you
doing up there?

PETER:
What?

Nothing. I just...

I need to get Dori
out of this,

out of this play.

Kramer's out
of his mind.

He's only gonna
make her miserable.

Don't you see that
what he's doing to her?

Don't you think you ought
to let Dori decide that?

This...

I don't,
I don't know what I'm

supposed to do.
I wanna take care of her.

I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

Why don't you try
trusting Dori?

She might surprise you.

JENNIFER: What?
JONATHAN: Just looking.

You seem very quiet today.

Only on the outside.

On the inside, I'm having
a terrific conversation.

Oh. What about?

It's private.
Private?

Well, it's private

because if I said it, heh,
it would sound over the top.

Try me.

All right.

I was just thinking

that here I am walking
down the street

in one of the most
fabulous cities in the world

with undoubtedly the most
terrific man in the world

with whom I am
desperately in love.

What do you think?

I think
it's a little over the top.

That's what I thought
you'd say.

What?
Just thinking.

About what?

Well, here I am in one of the
greatest cities in the world

walking down one of these
incredible streets

and desperately in love

with the most beautiful
woman in the world.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

What do you think?

I think we are over the top.

Yeah, isn't it great?
Heh.

[SHIVERING]

It is cold.

Oh.
What's this?

Oh, I think that's the box

I had Liz send up
from California.

JENNIFER: Oh?
Yep, that's it.

What's in it?

The rest of your college
papers we found in storage.

Oh.

I thought
the best thing to do

was to back
at the beginning.

This all started when you
wrote that play in college.

There ought to be some
answers in here.

Well, let's have a look.

Uh-oh.
What is it?

Oh, uh, it's a photograph
of me in college, heh.

Oh, let me see it.
Mm-mm.

I was a late bloomer.

What night of the week
did your play open?

[GASPS]

The same night
it closed. Why?

I was just reading
what some of the cast

and the people who were
involved in your play

wrote on the back
of your program.

Wednesday night
was the best, Frank.

If nothing else,

we'll always have
Wednesday night,

love Marilyn.

Remember the Alamo,
remember Wednesday night, Bill.

I'll never forget
Wednesday night.

The note in
Alan Watson's pocket.

Do you think
it's possible

you could've written
something like

this on someone
else's program?

Well, yes, I think I could
absolutely have written it.

Do you still have
that note

that Detective Giordano
gave us?

Yes, it's in my purse.

Heh. It was in my purse.

Well, where else
could it be?

I don't know.
It couldn't be anywhere else.

That's where I put it.

Oh, that's just stupid.

First my compact then
my lipstick and now this.

What's going on?

[♪♪♪]

Hmm.

If I can't have you,
dear Jennifer,

then nobody can.

KATHERINE:
We're not gonna go through

this again, Boodles.

When you make scrambled eggs,
you use milk.

You're out of your skull,
lady. No way.

If you want your eggs light
and fluffy, you use water.

Look who's talking about
light and fluffy.

Cut that out.

What's wrong, Boodles?

I just wanna see
if you know something

about cooking
that's all.

No, that's not all.

I forgot more than you know
about making eggs.

You use water.

All right, I'll tell you
what we'll do.

We'll make one batch
with milk,

another batch
with water.

We'll let
the Harts decide.

What do you say?

I say, let's you and I
get married.

[SIGHS]

I don't know what to say.
How about saying yes?

Good morning.

Katherine...

Breakfast for two?

Oh, I was just helping.
Bon appétit.

JONATHAN:
Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

We have an appointment
at NYU.

We'll be back later.

Everything okay,
Max?

[♪♪♪]

JENNIFER:
Jennifer.

Jennifer Edwards at the time
but now it's, uh, Jennifer Hart

and this is
my husband Jonathan.

KABEL:
Oh, a lucky man, Jonathan.

So, what's this all about?
A Broadway Show?

Yes, um,
do you remember the play

that I wrote and directed?

It was called--
KABEL: Ladies of Whitechapel.

Yes, I, I glanced over it
just after we hung up.

Is that what you told
David Kramer's people

when they came to look
through your archives?

Beg your pardon?

Professor, David Kramer's
development people told us

that they had checked out every
university in the country.

Well, I don't know about
other universities, Jonathan,

but if David Kramer's
people came here,

I wouldn't forget that.

Jennifer, do you remember
Lebak's first rule of theater?

"The unexpected is what keeps
the audience in their seats."

That's funny.

That's what David said

only he called it
Kramer's law.

Well, that's not surprising.
He was one of my students.

One of your students?
KABEL: Of course.

Who else would know
Lebak's rules of theater?

I'm Lebak.
That's Kabel spelled backward.

David never said
he went to the same school.

Oh, that's odd.

He was one year
behind you

but his name
wasn't David Kramer then.

It was, um, Carl Davidson.

Carl Davidson.

Here's the, uh,
here's the program

and, uh, here's a
photograph of the cast.

There's David Kramer
right at the top.

You've been working
with him all this time

and you didn't know?

Constable Higgins,
Carl Davidson.

I had no idea.

It's always that smile,
isn't it, Jennifer?

The same one you gave to me.

I'll never forget
Wednesday night

but you did forget.

You forgot everything,
except him.

You never forget him,
do you?

Wonderful, thoughtful,
delightful Jonathan.

Wonderful, thoughtful,
delightful, dead Jonathan.

JENNIFER:
David?

[♪♪♪]

JENNIFER:
Is anybody here?

JONATHAN:
Kramer?

JENNIFER:
I don't understand

why they're not rehearsing.

JONATHAN:
There seems to be a lot

of things going around here

that we don't know about.

Hello?

Kramer?

JENNIFER:
Jonathan...

David?

Kramer, are you here?

Is that you?

KRAMER:
Jonathan, Jennifer,

I wasn't expecting you.

I'm up here
working on some spot cues.

Come on up.

[♪♪♪]

JONATHAN:
David?

David!

David!

Oh, David.

What are you doing?
Theater, my dear.

My milieu.
Very effective.

JONATHAN:
Jennifer!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Shall we?
JONATHAN: Jennifer?

Jennifer! Jennifer!

[GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]

You know,

it's too bad that
Alan Watson had to go poking

around the theater
looking for set pieces.

You didn't even recognize
that piece, did you?

It was from my collection,

from the play we did
together many years ago.

I kept it as a memento.

That outfit too.
You wore it that night.

I've always considered it
the prize of my collection.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

You really are
so very beautiful.

I always wondered what
it would be like to kiss you.

[SIGHS]

Do I repulse you
that much?

David, you're sick,
you need help.

Ha, ha, your husband's locked
up in the spotlight booth,

you're tied up down here
with a madman and I need help.

That's really
very good, Jennifer.

I admire
your sense of irony.

[LAUGHS]

Welcome to my museum.

My tribute to the great
and wonderful Jennifer Hart.

I've had 25 years
to put it together.

Twenty-five years
to build my collection

and to make myself something
and for what?

For nothing!

No, not for nothing.
No, you're...

You are something.
You are a well-known producer.

You do wonderful plays.

Do you know why I did that?

Do you even have a clue
as to what it's all been about?

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

When I was in your play,
you barely even noticed me.

Isn't that true?

Well, it's, uh, I mean,
it's not really true.

I was preoccupied.

It was my
first play and--

Heh, such a sweet liar.

You didn't notice me
because I wasn't worth noticing.

You knew it and I knew it.

[♪♪♪]

"I'll never forget
Wednesday night."

When you wrote that to me,
do you know what I was thinking?

I was thinking
that one day you'll mean it.

One day
you'll wanna know me.

All this, tsk, everything here,
I did it for you, Jennifer.

I did it so I could be
good enough for you.

Jennifer? Jennifer?

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Jennifer?

That's not fair, David, heh,
I didn't know how you felt.

KRAMER:
Fair? What's fair? Is it fair

that the woman you spent half
your life trying to win over

turns away from you?

Is it fair
that she loves another man

and won't even give you
the time of day?

Who the hell are you
to talk about fair?

What isn't fair, however, might
turn out to be quite dramatic.

A tragic triangle.

A husband, a wife,
the rejected lover,

and the theater he built
as an icon of his passion,

all gone
with one single stroke.

They'll be talking about it
for months. It's gonna be hot.

KRAMER:
Funny thing about

these old theaters.

They're full
of history and memories

but they're fire traps.

A little well-placed
conflagration

and pop goes the weasel.

That beautiful face.

I hope you appreciate
the dramatics here.

[♪♪♪]

GIORDANO:
Dr. Livingston, I presume?

He's got Jennifer.

Davidson? I mean, Kramer?

You know?

I bet no one's ever done

anything like this
for you before.

That key we found on Watson's
body, I tried everything.

His house, his workshop,
his boyfriend's place.

I didn't think
about the theater.

It fits a number
of locks down here.

It doesn't open them
but it fits.

I think that Kramer maybe's got
a little hideaway down here.

[EXHALES]

I love you so much.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Jennifer? Jennifer?
He's got a gun.

[GUNSHOT]

Jonathan!

Don't try to change the ending,
Jonathan. I hate rewrites.

Carl?

Davidson!

[BOTH GRUNT]

[♪♪♪]

Darling?

[BOTH SIGH]

GIORDANO:
That's okay, you two.

Don't mind me, I'm fine
over here by myself.

I just got shot
in the leg

and I don't think
I'm in shock yet.

I still have a pulse.

Maybe you could
hug a little more

then call an ambulance
but don't rush because I'm fine.

There's just a small puddle
of blood here.

Uh, who do you see about
getting a marriage license?

New York, all these people

and they can't get anybody
to do anything.

Max, do you really think

getting a marriage license
is a good idea?

I mean, how well
did you think this out

before you asked me
to marry you?

What's there to think about?

I love you, you love me.
It's a fit.

Yeah, but I live
in New York, Max,

and as attached as you are
to your Mr. and Mrs. H,

I'm just
as attached to mine.

Just suppose that
I popped the question to you

and I asked you to come here

and spend the rest of your life
with me in New York.

What would your answer be?

I would probably say,

"Katherine,
you're a swell broad

but I ain't
leaving the Harts."

[LAUGHS]

You took the words right out
of my mouth, Boodles, heh.

You're amazing,
you know that?

Yeah, how so?

You just got me
to kiss myself off

and not feel too bad
about it in the process.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

I just got off the phone
with Arthur Krasnow.

The Broadway producer?

He read the script
of Whitechapel.

He thinks it's terrific.

Oh.

He, uh, is gonna have
to get a new writer.

Well, that's showbiz,
I guess.

Well, he's given the cast
a two-week paid vacation

and then
they start rehearsals.

Heh, that's great, at least
nobody will lose their jobs.

Well, shall we?

Tsk, darling,
just one last look.

There really is magic
in the theater, isn't there?

There certainly is.

Especially
the musical theater.

Can't you just feel it
in the air?

Why don't we use it?

Heh, what do you mean?

Well, we've got, uh,
the piano. Max?

Got the stage,
got the lights, no one's here.

[PLAYING]

Oh.

Play it again, Max.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES]

♪ You were meant for me ♪

[LAUGHS]

♪ And I was meant for you ♪

Ha, ha, I don't
believe this.

Ooh, not bad.
Take it away.

Together?

Hit it.
Hit it.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

[LAUGHS]

You were great.

I didn't know
you could do that.

Ooh, boy, ooh.

♪ You were meant ♪
♪ You were meant ♪

♪ For me ♪
♪ For me ♪

♪ And I ♪

Turn off the lights,
will you, Max?

"Good night, Mrs. Calabash."

Wherever you may be.

[♪♪♪]

Now, that's magic.