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America's 250th birthday is right around
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America's 250th birthday is right around
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America's 250th birthday is right around
the corner and President Trump is
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the corner and President Trump is
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the corner and President Trump is
celebrating it with a ballroom, a
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celebrating it with a ballroom, a
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celebrating it with a ballroom, a
reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff
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reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff
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reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff
that was not on our Amazon wish list.
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that was not on our Amazon wish list.
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that was not on our Amazon wish list.
America asked for healthcare. God damn
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America asked for healthcare. God damn
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America asked for healthcare. God damn
it, we sent you a link and everything.
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it, we sent you a link and everything.
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it, we sent you a link and everything.
Now, technically, Trump is not really
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Now, technically, Trump is not really
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Now, technically, Trump is not really
allowed to build most of these things,
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allowed to build most of these things,
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allowed to build most of these things,
but when has that ever stopped him?
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but when has that ever stopped him?
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but when has that ever stopped him?
>> The Washington Post is now reporting
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>> The Washington Post is now reporting
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>> The Washington Post is now reporting
that the Trump administration is
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that the Trump administration is
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that the Trump administration is
planning on building the arch without
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planning on building the arch without
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planning on building the arch without
Congress's approval. The administration
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Congress's approval. The administration
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Congress's approval. The administration
argues that it doesn't need Congress's
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argues that it doesn't need Congress's
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argues that it doesn't need Congress's
approval because lawmakers a century ago
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approval because lawmakers a century ago
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approval because lawmakers a century ago
authorized a somewhat similar project
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authorized a somewhat similar project
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authorized a somewhat similar project
that was never built.
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that was never built.
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that was never built.
>> Man, I just can't figure this
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>> Man, I just can't figure this
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>> Man, I just can't figure this
administration out. They're not looking
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administration out. They're not looking
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administration out. They're not looking
for congressional approval for a war
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for congressional approval for a war
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for congressional approval for a war
with Iran, but they have lawyers going
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with Iran, but they have lawyers going
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with Iran, but they have lawyers going
through all the old laws doing a control
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through all the old laws doing a control
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through all the old laws doing a control
F for the word arch.
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F for the word arch.
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F for the word arch.
How did they find this? I mean, the But
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How did they find this? I mean, the But
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How did they find this? I mean, the But
Trump isn't the only one commemorating
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Trump isn't the only one commemorating
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Trump isn't the only one commemorating
America's birthday. We here at the Daily
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America's birthday. We here at the Daily
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America's birthday. We here at the Daily
Show are celebrating as well. And there
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Show are celebrating as well. And there
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Show are celebrating as well. And there
are so many great moments in history to
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are so many great moments in history to
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are so many great moments in history to
look back on. Although when you think
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look back on. Although when you think
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look back on. Although when you think
about it, maybe not as many as you
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about it, maybe not as many as you
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about it, maybe not as many as you
think.
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America's history is complicated. Our
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America's history is complicated. Our
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America's history is complicated. Our
once proudest moments now problematic.
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once proudest moments now problematic.
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once proudest moments now problematic.
Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones
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Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones
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Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones
eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes
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eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes
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eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes
are now gross.
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are now gross.
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are now gross.
But there's still one moment in American
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But there's still one moment in American
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But there's still one moment in American
history that brings us all together.
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history that brings us all together.
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history that brings us all together.
The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team.
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The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team.
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The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team.
Bang. The most incredible basketball
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Bang. The most incredible basketball
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Bang. The most incredible basketball
players ever assembled. And also
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players ever assembled. And also
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players ever assembled. And also
Christian Lightner. It's literally the
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Christian Lightner. It's literally the
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Christian Lightner. It's literally the
last thing all Americans can look at and
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last thing all Americans can look at and
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last thing all Americans can look at and
just say, "That was awesome." Boom.
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just say, "That was awesome." Boom.
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just say, "That was awesome." Boom.
Shakalaka.
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Shakalaka.
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Shakalaka.
Americans must forever reckon with
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Americans must forever reckon with
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Americans must forever reckon with
stealing the lands of indigenous people.
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stealing the lands of indigenous people.
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stealing the lands of indigenous people.
But we'll never have to apologize for
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But we'll never have to apologize for
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But we'll never have to apologize for
Barkley stealing the rock four times
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Barkley stealing the rock four times
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Barkley stealing the rock four times
against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on
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against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on
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against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on
the moon now just reminds us of the
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the moon now just reminds us of the
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the moon now just reminds us of the
conspiracy theories destroying the
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conspiracy theories destroying the
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conspiracy theories destroying the
fabric of our nation. But how about this
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fabric of our nation. But how about this
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fabric of our nation. But how about this
fabric? The big head t-shirt of the
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fabric? The big head t-shirt of the
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fabric? The big head t-shirt of the
dream team. Man, that shirt was cool.
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dream team. Man, that shirt was cool.
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dream team. Man, that shirt was cool.
had six of them. The end of the Cold War
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had six of them. The end of the Cold War
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had six of them. The end of the Cold War
collapsed our political consensus. But
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collapsed our political consensus. But
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collapsed our political consensus. But
the Dream Team collapsed everyone's
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the Dream Team collapsed everyone's
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the Dream Team collapsed everyone's
defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this
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defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this
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defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this
backboard.
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backboard.
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backboard.
The Dream Team has no dark past to
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The Dream Team has no dark past to
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The Dream Team has no dark past to
revisit. No statues to tear down, just
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revisit. No statues to tear down, just
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revisit. No statues to tear down, just
absolute dominance by the greatest
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absolute dominance by the greatest
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absolute dominance by the greatest
basketball players of all time. And
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basketball players of all time. And
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basketball players of all time. And
Christian Lightner. Were they perfect?
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Christian Lightner. Were they perfect?
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Christian Lightner. Were they perfect?
Was their top competition Vald de Ramas
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Was their top competition Vald de Ramas
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Was their top competition Vald de Ramas
Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them
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Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them
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Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them
have a gambling problem? Did Michael
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have a gambling problem? Did Michael
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have a gambling problem? Did Michael
Jordan's son end up dating Scotty
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Jordan's son end up dating Scotty
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Jordan's son end up dating Scotty
Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even
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Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even
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Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even
weirder when you realize she must have
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weirder when you realize she must have
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weirder when you realize she must have
known him as a baby? Well, shut the up,
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known him as a baby? Well, shut the up,
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known him as a baby? Well, shut the up,
okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just
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okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just
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okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just
enjoy this American exceptionalism.
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enjoy this American exceptionalism.
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enjoy this American exceptionalism.
So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for
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So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for
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So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for
the dream team. The one thing we all
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the dream team. The one thing we all
155
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the dream team. The one thing we all
agree we can be proud of. And Christian
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agree we can be proud of. And Christian
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agree we can be proud of. And Christian
Lightner
14179
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