Original subtitles

CRAVE ORIGINAL SERIES

Martin's levelheadedness calmed my nerves.

Sedatives also work.

My addictive personality can't go near that stuff. No, Martin worked fine.

He always knew how to rein me in.

And shatter your dreams. -Listen, I know you don't like him

but I wish he had been in France with me.

I missed him.

I know you.

Eve, don't you dare leave me here alone to get our pussy tended to in Montreal!

Are you insane? I'm in this with you and won't let you down.

I really want to believe you

but judging by the amount of hair on your razor this morning,

I worry.

I was just grooming my nether region. -It was very hairy.

No need to drive to Montreal, he's here at a vineyard down the road.

- With his ex! - Huh?!

- Careful. - They don't look like exes!

Mélodie! With her dainty shoulders

and her doll-like eyes...

Doing all the stuff we used to do! -What? Drink wine and go out to eat?

That's not worth writing a romantic comedy about.

It's never too late. Don't miss the sequel:

Eve and The Revenge of Big Heavy Womanly Boobs

You know I've got a bed, right? -Nah! If we start doing it in a bed,

what's next?

Saying "I love you"?

I have to head back. Eve's walking around topless

and left me to handle everything by myself again.

Really? But she just got back. She should lend a hand.

I can't tell her that. I kinda roped her into this.

So I really can't tell her I'm starting to hate this.

But it's not all bad. Look at you. Handsome, kind,

enterprising, sexy as hell,

naughty,

I guess I don't really hate it all.

Edith!

Hi!

I forgot you were coming today! -Really?

I kept bombarding you with texts, love!

Sorry. We were kinda busy. Edith, let me introduce you to Marie-Lyne.

- I'm so glad to meet you. - Same.

Um, are you... visiting?

Yeah. I wanted to spend time with family.

I quit my BC job, so I had a bit of free time.

Were you picking cherries?

No, no cherry picking for me.

I worked for Big Pharma. It was awful so,

to live in accordance with my values, I became a freelancer.

A freelance chemist! I'm so proud of you.

A chemist?

The only thing I remember from chemistry is dissecting a cow's eye.

- That's biology. - Exactly.

Um, do you know anything about wine?

'Cause I own the vineyard next door, and right now we've got shit in our vats.

Yes, she helped me craft all my beers.

My Hop To It IPA is all her.

To answer your question,

I do know quite a lot about wine and beer chemistry.

Just like love, it's all about chemistry.

Yeah, chemistry...

Lise!

What do you think of our new uniforms?

Can't talk now.

I'm trying to fit 10 cleaning jobs on today's schedule.

The guys are overworked and at the end of their duster.

That's why our motto's: Dusting in the buff!

Wow! Just because of the tabloid article?

Your association with the girls gave you wings!

- Yeah. - I'm not surprised.

Everything ML touches turns to gold. -True.

I'm even getting calls from abroad. -Abroad?

Well, Québec City.

That's not a bad idea,

with ML close by...

Yeah, want me to check if I can hire workers there?

Great show of initiative.

If your company keeps growing like this, ML will surely fall for you.

I'm telling you, success is a powerful aphrodisiac.

You're a step up from Tommy-Jay. I don't like that guy! Seems unreliable.

I don't want to risk my friendship with ML.

Tell that to others, future son-in-law.

What are the chances that I find you here?

Well, um, we got back together.

I can see that. But what brings you to the island?

I had a wedding planning engagement.

This is a prime summer wedding location.

While she's doing that, do you wanna see the vineyard?

It's really close by.

We're trying to catalog our inventory in Excel

and since I randomly bumped into you, I thought

I might use you.

Well... sure. Why not?

Sure? You can also wait for me at the inn. I won't be long.

Don't worry, I'll be right back. See you later at the inn.

If it makes you feel any better, Eve and I,

- it's all in the past. - Well, the recent past.

Hey, I saw your interview with that YouTuber, Nachos.

You sure made a splash! -Thank you, listen, yeah, I went viral

on social media.

Sure that means loads of French dick pics but I found a new audience.

As they say, hold on to your berets and baguettes,

the Quebecker's coming!

ML said you have a French boyfriend?

Well, between the vineyard and my career here,

fuck long-distance relationships. It's over.

That's Eve for you, never wasting time. -Neither do you.

I'll be analyzing your wine to see

if the maceration and fermentation process is going smoothly.

So, what you were saying earlier. -Yep.

Well, well, well...

Look who just boomeranged back into our lives.

Hi, Martin.

Marie-Lyne.

- Great to see you. - I'm at a loss for words.

Aren't you gonna introduce me to your prostitute?

- I mean, who's this? - I'll take it as a compliment.

Hi, I'm Eve. The vineyard's co-owner. -Edith.

I was just showing Martin around.

Should I join you? Three's better than two!

Weren't you gonna show me the vats?

You've got work to do.

Can you just...?

Even when I'm not physically here, I am here, everywhere, watching you.

And I know that low cowl necks from Suzy Shier drive Martin nuts.

You...

My period's coming. I've got engorged, rock-hard boobs!

I can see that.

You're...

both distracting me and...

- bumming me out. - You can be a bummer too.

Look, I see what you're doing. By 'you', I don't mean you and Martin.

Come along, Edith.

So yeah,

I realized a lot of things while abroad. -Like?

I went there looking for something

- that I already had back home. - Hm.

You're very popular here. You don't want to abandon your public.

Can we sit? I'm getting hot.

Martin...

C'mon.

What were we saying?

We were discussing your career.

Ah. Yeah, no,

I was hinting at how much I'd missed you.

That wasn't clear.

Is this clearer?

Eve...

- sticking your boob on my-- - Both boobs.

- Both. - Sticking both boobs on my arm

is no reason to get back together. You dumped me.

Maybe so, but remember your outdoor sex fantasy?

We never managed to put it on the shared schedule,

so how about we tick that off your bucket list today?

So, have you known Tommy-Jay long? You two seem close.

He's like my twin soul.

Yep. We instantly recognized it when we first laid eyes on each other.

And when was that?

Are you telling me you have no idea when this wine was put in these vats?

- No idea at all. - OK, OK...

Don't you hate not knowing something you're dying to know?

Gimme.

- So, Tommy-Jay and-- - Sorry,

but when I'm testing a new product

I need to focus. If you don't mind...

I totally get that. It's all about the chemistry, right?

- Exactly. - OK.

- I'm so happy. - So am I.

Now that we're back together,

I'd like to ask you to pay half the hydro bill. It's pretty hefty...

I know I'd taken your name off the account the day after you dumped me for no reason,

but I knew you'd come back to me.

It was just performance anxiety, right? -Martin, we need to talk about all this.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I thought we had two hours!

- Martin! - She clearly finished early!

- Eve? - Do you really wanna argue now?

- Ah, there you are. - Hi!

Oh! Hi! Thought you were busy in Montreal with the Dusters!

I was, still am. That's why I'm back.

And I brought supplies!

Alcohol!

Oh!

This guy knows me!

Thank you!

- My pleasure. - Hi, bud.

I know you don't like me, Rav.

- It's not that I don't like-- - Sh.

I like your vibe and I'm cool. We should be best buds.

Can you take your finger off my face?

Listen, you're important to ML and...

Fuck it, I just want you to like me! So gimme a hug and let's quash this.

That was beautiful.

Yes, boys!

OK! It's quashed! Quashed!

Sorry to interrupt your bromance but am I wrong

in feeling iffy about letting Edith, a girl we met 15 minutes ago,

just chill with our vats, alone?

Who's Edith?

His perfect friend who's analyzing our vats.

I'm not jealous of Edith. I'm not the jealous type.

Really, tell him. No, I'm just curious-- Why are you here again?

Your mom suggested I find employees for the Golden Duster around Québec City.

Problem is, I don't know anyone there.

- You know me. - Sure.

It'll bring us closer together! -Yeah...

Sure about that?

'Cause you never struck me as the cleaning type.

Cleaning is a choice.

And I decided that it was not a daily kind of chore, but I can clean.

I did it for one summer in BC.

BC sure is a formative place judging by all the know-it-alls that come back.

I'm not jealous!

I dunno. I'll think about it.

Sorry for insisting but I really think I'd be perfect for the job.

Try me.

I can understand,

you were together a while,

and Martin and I reconnected too soon after you split up.

Mélodie, don't cry over a guy who makes even a medium-sized girly top look big.

- You stretched it out. - Hey...

It's synthetic and doesn't stretch. It either fits or rips apart.

I'm really sorry I've hurt you but...

all this happened for a reason.

- Martin! Don't listen to him. - She's entitled to the truth.

We owe her at least that.

Eve and I are in love... and back together.

What? It's crystal clear.

I'm choosing Eve.

You're not helping. Go wait by the parking lot while I console her.

I thought you might need a break.

Here's some lemonade I made. -Thanks. What kind of sugar did you use?

I only know the one kind, white sugar.

Spiked with gin!

Ah OK. Sorry, I don't drink alcohol.

So you were a wild girl.

No. It's just that I don't sleep very well after drinking.

Would you say from Tommy-Jay's past relationships that he's the faithful kind?

Depends what you mean by 'faithful'.

I mean, can he commit? Or will he tell me he felt stifled by his moms' love?

No, I'd definitely say he can commit. And his commitment is unwavering.

You know how extra he can get.

Any long-term relationships?

Yes. I'd say extremely long-term.

And you two never...

- dated? - Sure.

We're actually married.

You know, Mélo. The whole fucking-your- e x-to-figure-stuff-out isn't about you.

I just needed to double-check if what I felt was nostalgia or love. Look at me,

do I have the glazed-over gaze of a girl who came?

No, but you have the knees of someone who blew him.

I wanted to leave while on top of my game. Sorry.

So,

you're not getting back together?

It definitely was nostalgia.

OK, maybe I can forgive him and we can get back to--

Nope! C'mon, Mélodie.

Be a fucking woman.

You're great. You own your own business,

right? You're smart,

cute as a button,

and even smell good.

By the way, what perfume is that?

Every time I smell you, I crave a soft serve.

You deserve better than Martin. And vice versa.

All three of us deserve to be with our #1, and to get what we want.

I can't believe it! They're all the same!

Look at ML, running after something that keep eluding her.

- What are you doing? - I'm cleaning.

- In the buff? - It's for the Golden Duster.

I'm going full immersion.

When were you thinking of telling me Edith's your wife?!

I'm not jealous, I just wanna know!

Not jealous?

Is that why you're sounding like a trapped mouse?

Don't change the subject.

You're fucking married!

So? She lives on the other side of the country.

I just wish I'd known I was your mistress.

You know,

- that's not how I see things. - Of course not.

Sure, we're married and have a kid together,

Noah, but she's raising him with her girlfriend Colleen

and we rarely get to see each other.

So yeah, when we do, we make the most of it.

But apart from that, I'm totally single.

OK, so you have a kid,

a wife with a girlfriend...

Any shared-custody Goldendoodle while we're at it?

'Cause I'm too fragile to get attached to a puppy!

No dog in sight. OK?

I told you, and I'll tell you again, we rarely see each other.

We are an open three-person family unit.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

Didn't want to scare you away.

'Cause I have feelings for you.

Strong feelings.

Yeah?

How do you like my housecleaning?

So,

- you girls settled everything. - Yep.

Great.

Hm, Mélodie, I wanted to say

that I think I'll stay with Eve.

About that,

this was a mistake.

What?

Mélodie, remember what I told you. You can do it.

Hm, getting back together was also a mistake.

I... don't understand.

- We're dumping you, Martin. - Uh?

What? An hour ago, I had two girls and now no one wants to be with me?

- That's not what we're say-- - Yes it is!

Yes, it is.

Face it, us boning me doesn't bode well for your relationship with Mélodie.

Sure, I get that but...

- but you... - You're rational enough

to understand that you deserve better than someone who finds your passions boring.

- You're right. - I'll give it to you,

you're a great dumpee who's settled by rational arguments.

Sorry.

It's just very emotional.

It's OK, Mélo. Get it all out.

Just don't go back to him!

You two drive home safe. Take care, OK?

Don't sleep together again too soon!

Eve...

All yours!

And I'll mail you your kitchy shirt!

You really didn't have to strip naked. -I wanted the full experience!

- Of being naked? - You know me,

whether it's love or work, I never do anything halfway.

You're a well-rounded guy, that's for sure.

So? What do you think?

I gotta say,

I'm shocked. I'll call you if I ever set up shop in Québec City,

I'm so happy!

So, tell me about the conditions,

shifts... -Sorry but if we're gonna talk shop,

please get dressed. I'm buzzed and don't feel like seeing that.

No problem, bro.

Hey...

Do you play bongos?

We should have a jam sesh!

So?

By golly, it ain't bad.

Not quite what they drink on the Plateau but a nice SAQ-worthy entry-level wine.

I know it's not optimal

and it still needs to age a bit, but I'd say five of your ten vats are good to go.

That's so nice to hear, Edith!

I could swing back here and check the rest after I'm done visiting family.

You decide. -We'd definitely love to hire you again.

- Really? - This makes me so happy!

Community. And I'm working for Ravi!

Not yet. I said, "if I set up shop."

- Believe in your dreams. - It's far from done.

Again, I've nothing against you dating him. Perhaps when...

he's hard...

- What now? - Well...

maybe then Tommy-Jay has...

more to offer but the Golden Duster only hires men... who are showers,

not growers. Clients need to see everything up front.

Another grower? You poor girl.

What? I don't want your pity. I'll have you know that...

growers usually make much more devoted partners

than guys with huge dildo-model dicks.

Generosity...

is all about putting your heart into it. All that wrapping might just hide a gift.

That's the kind of quote my mom likes to share on Facebook.

Sorry, ML, but I can't hire him.

No problem. I'll tell him.

We're communicating so well now that we're in a three-way.

Four-way, with Edith's girlfriend. Or five-way if you count their son Noah.

Here's Les Crues' wine!

I've been working on this launch for a week, we can't have a scandal!

- Hey, ML, no! - You, out!