Original subtitles

You've got them all by the balls Causin' waterfalls.

Stonewalls, bar brawls Climbing stalls at concert halls.

To you they crawl, body sprawled Smoking Pall Malls.

Close calls, stand tall Doll, you make them feel so small.

And they love it.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

The boys wanna be her The girls wanna be her.

The boys wanna be her The girls wanna be her.

The boys wanna be her

I wanna be her.

It's clear this guy wants a war.

He wants a war!

Between the petition for custody, the eval, calling CPS.

I mean, he is… he's playing to win.

And now, with the positive drug report…

Jinx.

He stands a pretty good chance.

So, our best shot, getting him to call off the dogs.

You mean play nice with that prick?

Well, we're not gonna be calling him that.

Second mediation session is already set.

We will try to diffuse him.

So he holds the cards,

and if he doesn't choose to call this off...

We're fucked!

So, between now and the mediation session,

we have the psych eval.

It's important that you are reasonable and responsible,

and you check any and all psychoses at the door.

She needs to experience you at your best.

And you need to apologize to Mark's mother.

Yeah, fat chance.

Think of it as Bodhi's chance of continuing to live with your daughter.

Is there anything I can do?

I think you've done enough.

You need to bury your head in the sand

and take up a hobby,

just not knitting.

We don't want the needles triggering you.

Nice.

And you need to be fully and completely out of the household.

Not a trace of you left behind.

Well, it's not dispositive.

Child Services showing up.

It's-It's just precautionary, right?

Yes, Kenny.

Kind of the same as when ICE shows up.

They just want to, you know, confirm the hunky-dory of it all.

Okay. I-I really don't…

I…

I don't like when you say my name with contempt like that.

It gives me a bad feeling.

I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed.

I'm supposed to apologize to the mother.

Are you gonna do it?

If it kills me.

Which it might.

And Margo's psych eval?

Some shrink shows up at her house,

asks her some questions like she's, you know, a mental patient.

- Here you go. - It's… just hideous.

Well, we will get through this.

How can you know that?

All I can say…

How did you plan to pay for the baby?

I didn't have a plan.

In retrospect, I was naive,

simply thought things would work out.

These days, I see the world a little bit more clearly.

And a dreamer should dream.

- Hi. - Hi.

How else would dreams turn reality?

Tea?

That sounds fantastic.

Jinx! Jinx! Jinx!

They say it's not about how you fall,

but how you get back up.

Bullshit!

It's not just about popping back up,

it's about beating the shit out of whoever knocked you down!

No, I'm not sorry.

For the way that I am

I'm not sorry for the way that I love.

Or the heart that I have.

No, I'm not sorry.

For the dreams that I dream.

Or the life that I live.

'Cause it all belongs to me.

And that's all that I can say.

Thank you for agreeing to see me.

Can I sit?

My jaw is wired shut.

Please don't construe my lack of animation as any form of concession.

Of course.

I apologize.

I…

I lost myself. I…

It's not an excuse,

but I hope that you can find it in your heart to…

Forgive me.

I accept your apology.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Would you like to know why I accept it?

Yes, I… would.

As a parent, I had great hopes and expectations for my son.

I actually expected him to win a Pulitzer Prize,

if you can imagine.

To see him end up a freshman lit professor,

at Fullerton, no less…

There is an unbearable pain a parent feels

when her child disappoints.

I can't imagine yours.

Who is it?

Hey.

Hey, little man.

Margo's not here.

Yeah, actually… I came to see you.

Me?

I owe you an apology.

Much talk of how I've disappointed Margo.

I realize I've also let you down.

I don't have a lot of friends.

But if I'm still lucky enough to count you as one…

You really scared me.

Like, you really scared me.

And Margo.

You cannot do that again.

Yeah.

The lawyer said it's not good for you to be here.

- So… - Right.

I'll tell Margo that you came by.

Okay, okay.

And wish her… wish her good luck for tomorrow.

- Yeah. - Shadow Hat.

Shadow Heart.

Shadow Heart.

Shadow Heart.

New nose.

Drop dead gorgeous.

Scream queen fun.

Beauty pageant killer.

She's the one.

Bad, bad girl Bad, bad girl.

Bad, bad girl Bad, bad girl.

Such a bad, bad girl

I had to pay for the eval.

I have attorney fees.

I mean, it fucking adds up.

Well, what's going on with the piggy bank photos?

The vagina is nature's piggy bank.

If money's as bad as you say it is,

people know who you are now.

You could name your price.

No, the optics are not great right now.

I gotta keep things PG.

Also, I don't do porn. I-I make art.

I'm gonna let you handle it 'cause she get…

- Okay. - You know I get spicy with her.

- Yeah. - 'Cause she just…

Your internalized whorephobia is cute.

You know, you're-you're going on your own journey.

We get that, but…

All sex work is art.

Performance, fantasy, art.

I mean, you're literally trying to sell somebody a fantasy.

Look at the costumes. Look at the effort we put into this.

Are you really gonna sell yourself short like that?

You have a very big day tomorrow.

Dude, if you just wanna go home and rest, that's okay too.

Thanks, guys.

Come here, biatch.

- Crazy girl. - Crazy girl.

- That's why we keep her around. - That's why we love her though.

Give me that. Give me that.

Ready?

As I'll ever be.

Jinx and Shyanne?

- Nowhere near. - Good.

Okay. You play sports?

- Sorry? - Game day.

Gladiator time.

Attagirl.

Olive branch.

Nice-y nice.

Welcome back.

Before we begin, a little bit of news.

I have the eval results from Dr. Sharp.

Turning to the highlighted section.

"From everything I've seen,

Margo Millet is psychologically fit

to retain full legal and physical custody of Bodhi."

- Great. - Okay then.

This matter was precipitated on the petitioner's belief

that Margo was not psychologically fit.

Based on the doctor's finding, do you now choose to rescind your petition?

I do not.

Why not?

I don't doubt your general fitness, Margo.

Be it your ability to feed Bodhi,

change his diaper, aspirate his nostrils…

Great. Then what?

Well, children today face moral challenges like never before.

They need ethical nurturing.

You fucked a student.

- Okay, Margo... - Let me tell you something.

You knew I was a married man,

that there were children, that there was a wife.

Just because you couldn't put faces onto them,

it doesn't mean that they weren't your victims as well.

We were both complicit in my infidelity. The difference was the stakes.

I had everything to lose, which I fucking did.

But for you, it was a romp.

I was stupid, but you were cruel.

- How dare you? - Anyway, this is not about blame.

This is about moving forward.

Right. And moving forward requires a village,

and hers is comprised of sex workers,

parents who commit violence, one of which is a heroin addict, mind you,

and a roommate who genuinely thinks that she's an elf.

I would settle for joint custody.

- Great. - Yes, but for the first two years,

I would ask that all interactions with Bodhi and Margo be supervised.

You can go fuck yourself.

Let's take a step back.

He's taken a giant leap back.

First of all, you called Child Protective Services on me.

Then you had me examined by a shrink.

- Margo. - What are you so afraid of, Mark?

- That Bodhi's gonna grow up to be me? - Margo.

What if he should grow up to be you?

A coward.

All right. Let's stop it now.

- I won't have my son… - Right now.

- …raised by a pervert. - Margo.

I want it on record that she launched at me.

I mean, violence is in her DNA.

She did the one thing she was expressly told not to do.

Inflame him.

So what happens now?

Superior Court.

And according to Lace, she drew a nasty judge,

who was in his own custody battle and lost.

It's not good.

All she had to do was play nice.

Lace told her, "Play nice. Don't react."

And what does she do?

She is her mother's daughter.

We don't suffer bullies, this family.

What are we gonna do?

- She might... - When's the hearing? The Superior Court.

Next Tuesday. Lace wants all of us to be there, the whole ex-extended…

- Thing. - So we'll be there.

Whole extended thing.

Okay, you can't be strung out or show up, like, with a needle in your neck or…

I'm sorry.

If this judge takes away this baby, she will never get him back.

She will never see him again.

So, originally, this room belonged to Katie and Katherine.

And in this story we'll call them the wicked stepsisters.

They weren't wicked. Just judgmental.

They were wicked.

Don't be teaching him unflattering stereotypes.

Fine.

So then it belonged to your grandpa,

and we'll call him the enchanted bear, who can talk.

And you'll see him tomorrow.

You'll see Grandpa and Susie.

Hey.

- Mom. - Hi.

And you, quiet, I'm not gonna touch you.

Will you excuse us, Susie?

Yeah, yeah.

We gotta write the rest of this fairy tale, don't we?

- What's up? - Well…

Tomorrow's the big day.

I brought you some shoes and a little Carti

for your go-to-court outfit,

so you can present both smart and responsible

and I got dump lump a little ensemble too.

What's… What's going on here?

Well, it's a…

A space alien photo shoot for my…

Yeah. Your… Your OnlyFans thing.

- Yes. - Yeah.

Well,

a lot of people seem to love science fiction and space aliens, so…

Yes, I… I expect it to be brilliantly written.

Mom,

best to just brace you for this now.

It's not happening today or tomorrow

or anytime before the custody thing is settled.

But at some point, in order to…

Fully realize my creative fulfillment and financial security,

I will be artfully…

Rendering my tunnel of love.

Okay.

Well…

Noodle,

I will give up my old place, all my face creams, everything.

I… I can find money.

You know, we can…

- We can figure this out together. - I've done the math, Mom.

This pays for health care, childcare, rent.

And I can do it from home.

Honestly, even if you did give me the money to stop,

I'm not sure I'd want to.

And this room is not done yet.

But you have to trust me.

What comes out of here is going to be art.

Creative, science-fictional splendor.

The splendor of your poon.

Don't say it like that, like it's something disgusting.

Do you know where I heard that? That bodies aren't disgusting?

- Elmo? - When I was three years old,

I walked in on you naked.

In your full glory.

And that's what you called it, your glory.

- You remember? - No.

And you went on this whole diatribe about…

Human anatomy

and how women shouldn't feel shame.

And you weren't ashamed.

And in fact, you said you had the best vagina on the planet.

I did not say that.

- I did not say that. - Yep.

Oh, my God.

Well, I…

I maybe took it too far.

I was panicked.

You just burst in

- and-and… I ad-libbed like... - On the planet!

Okay. You will not bring that up in court.

Hey.

Mama, I'm scared.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come, I know, I know.

I know, I know, I know, okay, I know.

I know, hon. I know, I know.

- I'm so scared. - I know, hon. I know you are, noodle.

What if they take him from me?

That's not gonna happen. No.

We're gonna win this thing.

All set?

- Pretty much. - Good.

Now, just like we talked about,

firm but humble.

I need to pee.

Sure. Over there.

And a reminder about decorum.

This judge can be a tyrant, but he is fair, so…

Will we be called to testify?

I doubt it, but with him, anything often goes.

Okay, I'm gonna get you to wait out here with Bodhi.

If we need anything, I'll let you know, okay?

- All set? - Set.

Locked and loaded.

Is that the expression?

It is.

You need to win this for my little girl.

She needs to win it.

But I'm gonna be right by her side.

I'm sorry.

- What for? - I don't know.

Maybe…

Maybe all of it.

Margo's plight. Jinx…

Why would you be sorry for that?

Well, yeah, I probably shouldn't be.

I've come across a lot of people in life who need to apologize for themselves.

You would not be one of them.

Thank you.

Lock and load.

Okay.

Lock and load.

Lock and load.

Hi.

Okay. There.

They subpoenaed KC and Rose.

- Yes. Yes, I saw that. - Why would he subpoena them?

Let's just focus.

All rise.

Case number 32643, in re: Millet,

the Honorable Justice Andrew Spence presiding,

this case is now in session. Be seated.

I read all the papers, and this is nonsense.

When a child custody dispute reaches this point,

when it comes to a Superior Court judge, then nonsense has had its way.

You, sir, on your feet.

You impregnate a student,

and now you dare to seek custody of the child?

I'll tell you now, right now, Mr. Biological Father,

this case has a stink,

and I've good reason to believe the waft starts with you.

I-I deserve the blame.

And yet you're here today asking Ms. Millet to pay the price.

Well, I also have paid the price.

- Whose fault is that? - As I said, mine.

Your Honor, it's been very difficult for me to look at myself.

But when I do, when I stare into the mirror,

the main question becomes, "What about the child?"

This isn't about who gets to win,

it's-it's about preventing an innocent child from losing.

Margo's a sex worker. She's posted photos online as recent as this week.

I can provide a more stable home.

And I'll do so.

And you.

You stand there proud of yourself, young lady?

I doubt anyone truly feels proud of themselves, Your Honor.

You think that's an answer?

I've given Bodhi a good home.

I've raised him with my love and the love of his grandparents.

I have provided for my son.

And just because people find what I do to be distasteful,

it doesn't make it illegal or wrong or disqualify me from being his parent.

My answer? Yeah, I am proud.

You disagree the father should have custody.

He's a stranger to Bodhi.

You deem him unfit? Dangerous?

I deem him to be a stranger.

You, sir. You're the grandfather?

- I am. - Nice to meet you. Is it nice to meet me?

You like meeting people? You like shaking hands when you meet people?

You wanna shake my hand the way you shook his?

I do not.

You apologize to this man?

- I did not. - Because?

Restraining order.

- You on drugs? - Methadone.

- You're an addict? - Hundred percent.

Caretaker of the child. You were alone with him?

Once I relapsed, I ceased being a caretaker and moved out of the household.

And the grandmother. You chose to leave Grandmother at home?

I'm the grandmother.

You like to hit people, punch 'em in the mouth?

Only her, and I apologized.

You, ma'am. What did you say to her?

I don't really recall.

You got punched in the mouth over it. You don't recall?

I objected to her daughter sexually preying on my son.

"Snatty-ratty." You spoke those words?

Well, we've got quite the collective here, don't we?

Who are you?

I'm the step-grandfather.

Did I ask you to stand?

And those two back there.

Those are the two sex worker colleagues you subpoenaed?

- They are, Your Honor. - There is no law

that disqualifies sex workers from being parents.

Your Honor, our argument is more about the totality,

the sex work, the drug addict grandfather, the vicious grandmother.

- May I speak? - Please.

- No, Jinx... - This-This person has

- demeaned my family. - Jinx, I have… Jinx!

Sit down.

- Bring the child in here. - Yes.

Dad, you can't just jump up.

He has to call on you.

This isn't a ring where you get to leap in off the turnbuckle.

Step right up here.

- You are the roommate? - Yes, yeah.

And this is little Bodhi.

Hand the baby to his mother, please.

Here's Mama.

And the village, the family unit which the petitioner disparages in his papers.

- This here is the village? - Yes, sir.

Pass the baby to the grandfather.

Hey, little man.

What's going on?

What's going on?

Pass the baby to the grandmother.

Hey.

There you go.

Hey… Hi. Hi.

Hi.

Hi, baby.

What's with the tears?

Hay fever.

Take the boy to his father.

Okay.

And why are you crying?

It's the first time I've held my son.

As I look at her holding him…

It could be argued that my poor judgment has bestowed an incredible windfall.

To them.

To me.

You see me holding him.

Him being held by me.

As a mother holds her child.

This is my son.

I am his mother.

I am his mother.

This child should know his father.

Primary custody goes to the mother. He gets the child two weekends a month.

My clerk will draft and issue the order. Adjourned.

- What just happened? - What ju… What… What happened?

You just won.

You won.

My baby.

Hi.

Hey. Yeah.

Are you serious?

Good job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm actually a really good father.

You'll see once you get to know me.

That's good.

Because I really do want you to get to know him.

Now, not later.

This is your dad.

Hi.

All right, I'm making my special celebratory lasagne tonight.

Everybody's invited.

And I will make my super margaritas.

- Hi. - There she is.

- Congratulations! - Congrats.

- Thank you. - You won.

- Hi, lil cutie. - You won.

- You won, Bodhi! - Yes, you did! You did!

- We did! - Oh, my gosh.

- That was pretty badass. - Can I just say

you guys… you guys look hot.

Coming from you?

Thank you.

By the way, I never called Child Protective Services.

That wasn't me.

Wow.

They can't just respond to anonymous complaints.

I mean, it has to come from a reliable source.

If he didn't do it, then… who?

Who would do that?

I… just as…

As a precaution.

Just to make sure Bodhi was safe.

When I saw Jinx just lying there in that hospital

and everyone just standing around refusing to hold him to account,

I wasn't looking to cost Margo custody, of course not.

You brought the cops into our family business.

You brought me into this family, Shyanne.

Isn't it my job to try to protect them?

Behind my back?

What other choice did I have?

You know, maybe I was just trying to insulate you from…

Give you the gift of deniability because you weren't gonna do it.

You were not gonna report Margo, Shyanne.

Because you love her too much.

And you sure wouldn't have done it to Jinx.

'Cause you love him too much too.

Margo came from a messy, complicated clan.

A group of people who loved so completely, it at times presented as pain.

And her son will have to grow up in that tangle.

But he will thrive because what choice does he have?

And he will innately know that adversity begets love

with a special kind of vigor

that allows you to trust the ground under your feet

and then launch your ship into the wild, unknowable sea to seek your fortune.

And maybe…

Catch yourself a whale.

Cha-ching.

Good night, my baby.

Labor of love.

It's perfect, Susie.

And the remote.

Whenever you're ready.

I'm ready.

I'm the hungry ghost.

You crawled into my phone.

You're trapped here.

Forever.

I will eat you all.

There will be no survivors.