Original subtitles

I can think of three specific moments

when I should have

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died to to uh the people who knock these

buildings down are here all of us

soon America is at

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[Music]

War my dad was was born in Colorado and

and uh he was an FBI agent and his

greatest expectation was that his oldest

son me would would go to South Bend and

attend Notre Dame as well I went to all

boys Catholic High School as a 2-year

starter on the football team but I

really didn't think I could get in there

academically and I knew I couldn't play

for them in the fall of 63 right after

Kennedy's assassination my father said

to me you should consider Notre Dame and

I said Dad I can't get in there so he

applied for me

and then what I think happened is that

he must have called the admissions

office every other week to say I'm an

Alum I contribut to the Alumni

Association and my boss is Jer Hoover I

want my son to go go to Notre

Dame in this fall of 1964 I went off to

South

Bend I wasn't a good student I flunked

out in uh June of

1966 and came home to pretty angry and

devastated parents for sure and my

father was was

angry beyond angry the first thing he

said when I walked in the kitchen he had

the letter in his hand and he said

godamn it you're going to get drafted

now that's what's going to happen to you

you're going to get drafted you know it

was awful it wasn't a happy time and

then in October without telling a single

person I went down and saw Marine Corp

recruiter in New Haven Connecticut when

I told him that I had signed up and was

enlisted and I'm going

he said you know when you flunked out

this was this was immaturity and this

was foolishness and you were a young kid

and I understand that it does happen he

said but this and he pointed like that

this and putting up my contract he said

this is spite you're just doing this to

spite us and I just said Dad no it's not

spite I got to go I need to go away he

said I never thought I'd live to see the

day when I would consider my oldest son

to be an and on the word

he really stopped talking to me he never

said go start the car pass me the

mustard he also never said Happy

Thanksgiving he never said Merry

Christmas and he never said Happy New

Year and in fourth or fifth of January

he had already gone to work I hadn't

talked to him and uh my mother was in

the kitchen and I said ma they the

recruiter said that my graduation will

be in in March right around St Patrick's

Day 67 and she said no no Dennis no no

no the The Graduate ation we were going

to go to was the one in South Bend IN

1968 but we're not going any dumb

graduation in South

Carolina that's how I went out the

door at the end of boot camp I had made

PFC I knew I was going to be a on

graduation I had that so I had to I had

done really well there 3 days before

graduation we were sitting in a school

circle around the drill instructor and

he was reading the Moss's and I wanted

to hear 03 I mean I didn't want to drive

a truck I didn't want to be a cook I

mean I wanted to hear 03 that's all I

wanted to hear I knew 08 was artillery

and to me artillery was driving a truck

full of shells you know pulling a

lanyard on a cannon and having a sh go

out and I didn't want that either and so

in this school Circle that night when he

got to me he yelled my name and I jumped

up and he said 08 and I

winced and he said what the is

wrong with you what's wrong with you

private

I said sir the private was hoping to

hear 03 sir he said well it's ' 08 do

you know what that is and I said the

private understands that it's artillery

sir he said yes it is you're 0849 you're

going to be a Ford Observer you'll be

dead before Christmas sit the goddamn

hell

down this evening I came here to speak

to you about Vietnam the military can no

longer justify this war with a casualty

count more Marines are dying along the D

MZ than enemy this is a different kind

of

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War when we were getting ready to leave

from Vietnam we got to the terminal this

big Continental jet landed the plane

opened up doors and guys came down the

steps they look terrible uniforms didn't

fit and they had big Dark Shadows under

their eyes looking at them like man what

have we we signed up for and a couple

hours later we got on the

plane came out the door to this

oppressive heat and these terrible

smells and the humidity and just

staggering really ter you kept hearing

was we're going to go north we're going

to go north eventually my name was

called and I went with the group and

they said you'll be flying up to

donga and they said you're only here for

a day and you're going to

quesan

US Marine Corps Jets unleash a heavy

bomb attack on Hill 861 near quesan

South Vietnam when I checked in with the

CEO or the first sergeant he said to me

they're going to get attached out to an

infantry company and it was real

peaceful there they had not taken a

round of incoming since the summertime

the hill fights were not a memory but

they were in the past but they were

famous in Marine Corps history and guy

said see that hill over there that bump

that dirty bump of Hill I said yeah he

said that's Hill 61 and this is so

historical it's like Bunker Hill or

Omaha Beach that I went and took a

picture of it with my camera and I

didn't realized then that on the day

after Christmas in ' 67 I'd be on that

hill and go through the seats there two

days later this Lieutenant looked pretty

beat up came up to me and he said I'm

Lieutenant holderness I've been the fo

here are the maps here's the compass

here are some binoculars and I said I do

I hold these for the the lieutenant and

he said no there's a shortage of wine

off officers you're the

fo in the Marine Corps fo team there's

an officer there's an enlisted Scout and

there's a radio operator who's also

enlisted my company Commander had a

staff meeting so I walked in with my

little Paris Island red notebook and he

looked up and he said who the are

you the gunny jumped up and said this is

PFC Manion sir he's cing Lieutenant

holder's job he said Jesus I can't have

a non- NCO at my staff meetings make him

a Corporal and the first sergeant jumped

up and said sir he hasn't been a he

hasn't been a lance corporal yet he said

first sergeant it's 0930 promote him to

Lance corporal when he comes back from

noow make him a Corporal and that's how

I got to be a

Corporal the number of operations pretty

minor in the fall of 67 and and in

November we were at dong

and they told us that kilo company was

going to go up Route One the next day

and establish another fire

base the trucks were actually rolling up

the road and then a Jeep went flying by

and pulled in front of the first truck

and stopped and a major got out and he

said got to turn these trucks around

they're going to quesan so they turned

all the trucks around we went right to

the air strip at donga got on Choppers

and they flew us to quesan that was the

buildup for what became the siege

we got there on the 12th we started

running patrols every day but there was

no gunfire there was no fighting

absolutely none and then Christmas came

and went and on the 26th we saddled up

and we walked at least 1,000 M off the

flat ground and then worked our way up

to 861 elevation 6 got one by Machine

Gun we ran patrols every day starting on

the 27

of

December there was a long Patrol and a

short one and the fo team went with the

long Patrol on the 15th of January they

sealed up the gates no more patrolling

outside the hills 5 days later it's the

20th couple Marines spotted a couple NVA

on the ridgel line 500 M away from us we

called in a fire

mission adjusted twice 12 rounds maybe

105s and then they organized the patrol

they got permission to go out and I

didn't have go but I wanted to go I

wanted to see where the rounds hit and

what it might have done I wore my black

low Converse

sneakers 45 minutes later we're up there

the elephant grass is all smashed down

there's blood Trails there's pools of

blood there were no bodies right there

they were drag marks going to the West

so we requested permission to go after

them and the radar operator two seconds

later said permission denied turn around

and come back back and the staff

sergeant got on the horn and he said

there's blood stains here request

permission to pursue further and Jasper

got on the radio personally and said

turn your men around now and come back

down at the combat base somebody stood

up outside the last strand of wire with

a white rag in his hand it was an NBAA

guy he was an officer and he said

tonight at midnight 861 is going to get

attacked 811 South is going to get

attacked and the combat base when the

sun comes up started to get dark and we

were on 100% alert because the NVA were

out there cutting the wire you could

hear them you could hear the wire being

cut you'd hear and then the wire would

spring back and they were giggling and

laughing and you couldn't see them in

total darkness and it was really

eerie to listen to people cutting the

wire because they know they're coming

through there at some

point just before midnight we heard a

noise a voice coming up from the trench

line there was a Navy Corman Malcolm Mo

what are you doing up here so I got to

go to the bathroom and at the same time

that happened we got a call on the

landline from the captain that there

were NVA spotted outside of the wire at

the southern end of the hill and he

wanted us to go down there by the time

we got down there we were just crossing

the LZ when a green flare went up and

all of a sudden the entire northwest

corner of the hill was being

targeted

Mal was actually W his way down from

using the bathroom he was halfway down

the slope and an RPG killed him

instantly I used to think about him for

the longest time still do to be by

himself with no one

around moving down the hill in the dark

picking his way down and thinking how

scared he must have been but hustling

back down to be with his platoon when

when the round came in and he

was he

he because of his personality and the

fact that

he we were friendly with him and he

liked David and I it really stung it

really

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did I said to David we've got to get

back up we need to get back up to the

top and we got near the CP bunker and it

was already in

shambles I said David we can't go across

the top of the hill we need to go back

down get to the trench line and we'll

work our way up the Western trench line

meanwhile you know explosions and

gunfire and Rec Callin

105s we worked our way up the trench

line and at some point there was this

huge explosion to our right and above us

almost green and it was the 106

recoiless rifle position being blown up

with all the ammunition stacked

underneath it you can't see anything

it's totally dark then we got to a

machine gun bunker and I yelled where's

your team where are they and he said I

don't know they're gone they ran I mean

they left

him he said what are you doing here

Dennis and I said well we' got to get up

further around the corner to be able to

see and he said well there's an NBAA guy

right in the trench line there you're

going to have to get by him and he's

still

alive I said to David give me your 45

and I eased my body out of the back of

that machine gun bunker and into the

trench line like this and I was feeling

in the dark and scooting out further and

further and I got to a point where I

felt his

hair and I pushed a little bit and he

started to bring his head up he was

lying face down and I just took my hand

away and in the dark I just

fired we knew he was dead

then and then we worked our way to

another bunker and we took over that

where we could see the ridge line and

call in Fire and adjust fire and so we

were there for the rest of the night and

it gradually eased off and it's clear we

weren't going to be contested any

further and then got to be just about

sunlight and all of a sudden from the

southwest here baboom baboom and it was

the opening rounds of the artillery

hitting the combat base and the rockets

and the guy was right it was just after

sunlight they were going to attack the

base but they had figured at that point

they they would have overrun both Hills

and that didn't happen obviously

when the sun came up the combat base was

now being shelled we needed to get to

the top of the hill so we went back down

the trench line stepped right on the

dead NVA soldier in the trench and then

worked our way to The Landing Zone and

then went up the hill that way we came

around the corner and the Gunnery

Sergeant who I really liked Melvin rmo

gunny Melvin rmel he was laying on his

back and I closed his eyes used my

thumbs and I closed his eyes for him

I mean I literally cried for him and for

all of us

really gunary sergeants and Marine Corp

their job is to kick people in the ass

and do what the captain wants him to do

and to see him dead like that I thought

Jesus I mean if a guy like this gets

killed we we all going to get

killed he told a bunch of us at one

point five or six days before a Siege

it's going to get bad here and we know

it's going to get bad you need to look

out for each other you cannot be afraid

you need to act with courage but make

sure you trust the people to your right

and to your

left he said all of this is fate 5 days

later he's

dead con rumo

God

they sent a patrol out the next morning

so it's the 22nd and I went they were

only going to go right outside the

triple concertina to see if there were

any dead that they could bring in

somehow those guys got inside the wire

in the first 10

minutes when they withdrew they dragged

as many of their dead people away as

they

could the people they couldn't drag away

were the people who were on the hill but

just inside the wire and people in The

Wire itself there must have been 20 or

30 of them out

there those guys rotted over the next

week just rotted

terribly when the wind was blowing

towards us down in that end of the

trench line where there gas mask at

times from the stench and literally with

my binoculars you could see an arm

inside the wire with just a skeleton

where his hand used to be the rats

cleaned them out and the maggots cleaned

them

[Applause]

out

life on the hill deteriorated into just

living in the

ground all the digging we did on a61 was

with entrenching tools there was not one

shovel on the hill all the food and all

the water had to come to h61 by

helicopter we didn't have our own water

source we were sometimes one canteen a

day we lived in the dirt we slept on the

pieces of cardboard that se Rion were

wrapped up in your pants got so filthy

dirty and crusted that they would rot

off at the knee

the hooded sweatshirt my father sent me

the arms rotted off eventually I took a

field shower in donga just after

Thanksgiving in in ' 67 when we were

going up going up to conen and I didn't

wash until we got out of quesan in April

of

68 that's what life on the hill was

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like so tell me about this map where

where did this map come from as an fo

you have to have a map be able to call

in get coordinates and call in

artillery I got this one and it's

actually two maps that I taped together

because at the time we didn't know which

way we would be going it soon became red

from the

dust every square that you see is a

th000 m these are thousand meter grid

squares I look at this map sometime at

night and I think about all the stuff

that happened in particular grid squares

not specifically but I think people were

there they were trying to kill one

another

[Applause]

at some point I radiated the combat base

and I asked them for a pair of an extra

pair of binoculars for my radio operator

so when I radio down they said we don't

have any so the next day after the 21st

when we got over partially overrun I

radio down and said my my my binoculars

got blown up and that afternoon we had

another pair of binoculars these are the

binoculars that I stole from the Marine

Corps those are the original ones I was

assigned to and then those are the ones

I reported as being

broken for the next couple of months we

had two sets of binocular they also

brought us in big set of binoculars from

a Navy ship I used to look at the hill

500 met away from us it was unbelievable

to look through that and see the NVA

over there digging and throwing dirt

around and bringing stuff up on top of

that Ridge

line

keson in March The Siege by the enemy is

still underway but now the end is in

sight 2 and a half months of shelling

day and night no hot Chow mud and grime

Red Dust but now Marines are moving out

into the hills looking for the

enemy on the 12th of April they told us

we were packing up that we were leaving

by helicopter and we were going to go to

881 South and no one knew really what we

were going to do and I remember getting

off the helicopter turning in the trench

line coming around the corner and there

was what was human flesh all over the

sidewalls of the trench line it was it

was scary and then we were told we were

going to attack on Easter Sunday 881

North when the sun came up they were

already running air

strikes they're firing artillery in in

grid squares they're just moving a whole

grid Square ahead of us I would say Okay

shift the box and they would shift the

guns to another 500 M

ahead and they were firing directly over

our heads as we moved up onto the top as

the NBA would really dug in up

there and all the artillery strikes and

the air strikes decimated them we killed

a bunch of people up there but most of

them had fled off their Hill to the

north we hunker down on 881 North you

know broken trees and the gunpowder

smell everywhere blood everywhere and we

we waited all three companies just

waited what are we going to do now and

then the word came you're going back to

881 South so we attack it we take it and

a couple hours later they say Okay pack

up you're going

back okay what do we even go here

for the next morning on the fth

helicopters are flying into 881 South

one after the other they're picking up

everybody in 326 up there and they're

flying back to the combat base cuz we're

getting out we're going to leave quesan

in a

day I had befriended a lieutenant

Benjamin Steve forom he went to Baylor

so I talk Notre Dame football he talked

Texas football we talked about books we

talked about girls he was really a good

guy he'd come by sit and have supper

with us he really was a genuinely good

officer we're in the dirt next to one

another as the helicopters are coming in

and they're taking out first platoon

second platoon then the CP group and

he's going to be on the last helicopter

while we were laying next to one another

in the dirt two rounds hit some distance

away I said I hope they're not adjusting

those and he said if they're half as

good as you they won't hit

my helicopters Landing in the LZ

they're 46s and as I start to get up he

squeezes my hand and he says I'll see

you at the

Bas 5 minutes go by and the helicopter

lands the ramp goes down and the Marines

are carrying four people five people

Lieutenant foran was one His Radio

operator was another those rounds had

been adjusted and they landed right

behind the helicopter it was

awful

I hadn't shaved in a month I had a

mustache all the time some guys had

beards I hadn't had a haircut in 4

months we check in and the first

sergeant looks at us and he said what

are you doing here you don't even look

like Marines go get a haircut shave

Captain sne came over he said we're

getting a real fo in the morning that's

how we put it we're getting a real fo

like I wasn't the

fo okay and I said am I going to stay

and be the Scout and he said no you're

getting out of the

field I'm going home I'm going home in

the morning the guy came off the

helicopter I handed him the binoculars

and the maps I had we flew out on a

continental jet again and this time it

didn't stop in the middle of the Pacific

cuz it could fly all the way to El

and then we landed and we came down the

ramp and there were kids younger I say

kids younger Marines sitting under those

palm trees at the picnic

tables so that was me a year ago I'm so

thankful I'm

[Music]

[Music]

here when I got home my mother opened

the door took a step backward and almost

fainted on top of the TV console were

two little 4in square televisions I

haven't been home 5 minutes and I said

what's with the

TVs she said it's your father every

night at 6:30 he watches the news ABC

NBC and CBS without fail he watched it

every

day he came in at 5:00 5:30 and I stood

up he said said how long have you been

home I said I got in this morning God

damn it you didn't call me you didn't

come see

me I was like I could never please him

you know I flunked out of his college

and now I didn't go see him and in

retrospect I've got kids of my own it

was a bad way to treat my

[Music]

father I can think of three specific

moments when I should have died

if the round had been 12 in to the right

or to the

left mortar shell landed literally 12 in

away from the hole I was in b boom b

boom b boom and then boom one hit right

on our stove right in front of it I mean

I could have died you know in my first I

would have been my first real month in

Vietnam so I would say

[Music]

lucky in my downtime in The Siege at any

other time in Vietnam I wrote I have an

ability to communicate and I wrote a lot

of letters and I people sent me tons of

letters I had people writing letters all

the time and I start this letter my

mother

I don't know here's a drawing of

our bunker we slept on cardboard for a

long time but eventually we got two CS

that's the

bunker Joe dhy was my best friend from

high school known each other since 8th

grade still friends today he saved every

letter that I wrote and there's at least

100 125 letters The Siege had been

underway for 10 days the Ted offensive

has just started and I really thought I

was going to get killed up there and I

wrote this letter to him and it was a

farewell letter that I wrote to my

parents and my brothers and sister I

said to Joe when I get killed I want you

to bring this to their house at some

point I felt I needed to say goodbye to

them cuz I didn't leave on great terms

I wrote it put it in the envelope and I

put a note on the outside I said Joe I

want you to bring this to their

house so this is the thin assembly this

is what's left of an 82 mortar and so

when it goes up turns and comes down

when it hits there and it blows up all

the shma goes in every direction and

some of it goes

up I don't know if I can do this or it

works for you you want to turn the

lights off or that would can you see

that every big hole or every big tear

that you see in that towel means you're

dead and every little piece means

surgery at some point or removal of

shrapnel I think shrapnel is the

greatest cause of injury and death to

soldiers on

battlefields you think about that day

huh when you look at that tow I do how

close it could have been right

away might have been one of the new guys

that got hit kill the first 30

days

it is pretty humbling to see it and

understand that how close I

came I didn't want to go back to Vietnam

and to quesan stand there like I did in

in September of ' 67 and look up and say

oh there's 861 I didn't want that

experience if I couldn't go on the hill

I never would have gone and when I knew

I was going to go I grabbed a whole fist

full of bless palm and I wrote 28 names

and the day they died and my plan was to

read them up there when we were all up

[Music]

there 33 years you've been

whing here the here's Don Tre right here

950 so if you kind of put the map just

like that right there's 950 and 10 right

1015 to the right I us like

this

[Music]

this

[Music]

down through

there looking for

you you looking for me I've been waiting

32 years for this day I wanted to go at

h61 stand on that Hill cuz I wanted to

pay tribute to the friends and Marines

who died up there cuz you never get a

chance to say goodby when they get

killed you don't have time you have job

to do and you you have to keep on going

we hired a van we had a driver went up

to quesan we walked around the combat

base a night later we packed

[Music]

up we made our way up it was wet and

kind of rainy and we got to a point

where we got onto a small Ridge line it

was clearly it's clearing we weren't

uphill we were flat and everybody

stopped to rest and all of a sudden I

realized there were holes in the ground

we're in a Marine Corps position here

fellas

really American Camp right here

plastic bags from the sear rats 33 years

ago probably a hill fights spring 67

right here baby look at

this still underneath it's still good

you can read the

writing there have been foxholes

probably dug during the hill fights

start digging down in them and you found

C ration spoons it was incredible to

think we were standing right here are

these uh is I found my bunker no they're

not dead I know right I'm standing my

pack is where my bunker was no this is

not they're

live don't kick

him I can't believe I'm

here I really can't

believe the roof of my

bunker 32 years

ago it seemed so godamn small so

contained like that it's your memory and

your imagination that makes it bigger

than it really was I mean it doesn't

diminish what happened up there and I I

thought well how could all this

happen in a in an area like this size

but it

did we made

it the hills are the same I swear to God

they're the same well there's that tree

line I was trying to hit you know that

night right and then we p a big and then

there's the ridge line right over there

that up to the forest the forest has

grown back now that's where the guy got

shot in the eye and killed there from

that platoon that went out there's the

ridg line right over there and look at

all the bombs that little 50 caliber

position was right in here somewhere

that we when you see my bunker over here

you'll recognize it you will recognize

that all I can hear are birds chirping

and there's no more rain it stopped

raining it was just Mist blowing in over

the ridge line you can this dip down and

come back out it was really eerie I said

an Our Father and a hill Mar out loud

and then I randomly pulled the names out

of the bag I read their name the day

they died I said rest in peace and then

I let it go into the

wind and then I walk back down the hill

now I'm on the LZ looking up towards the

top when I looked

up and I saw 8 10 figures standing in

the Mist up there some had ponchos on

some had their helmets on they weren't

in a formation they were just standing

in kind of a loose group the wind was

moving their clothing and the ponchos

they weren't saying anything they just

were looking and I I really blinked and

looked away thinking this is not

possible maybe I'm just imagining this

and I looked again and they were still

standing there so I saluted one time I'm

not much for formalities but I saluted

one time turned and walked back off the

hill and never look back over the LZ and

all the way down we're coming a little

further back towards 86 61 and there was

a foxhole there um obviously been

weathered and then I fished around at

the bottom and there was a locket there

I kind of opened it up a little bit

there was a picture inside of a little

girl and a

woman and I thought God damn that's when

I knew the Foxhole was a Vietnamese

Foxhole this was a North Vietnamese

soldier who died there that is the

tragedy that for every veteran that's

out there there's Family behind and and

as heartbroken is that people feel about

someone dying next to them back home

people are are feeling even worse you

know uh it's an unforgiving business we

keep doing it though I

guess and if you could use one word to

describe that whole experience what

would it

be

grateful for having the life that I've

lived since then I've lived a very

Charmed and lucky life you know I have

four kids we got 11

grandkids um I I feel really really

lucky my dad smoked from the time he was

14 Chesterfield Kings never quit they

took out a long he kept smoking so in

the process of dying of lung cancer and

empyema he was in the hospital and we

talked about

Vietnam and he said the reason I was so

angry and disappointed was that as FBI

agents we knew the way the war was being

run there was no way they could win it

it's just that's what he thought that's

what the FBI thought the way it was

being run couldn't win it and he said it

tore me up inside and made me so angry

but also afraid that my oldest son would

voluntarily put himself in a place of

harm like that he said that's why I said

all the things and didn't say anything

in all those months years back you know

and I said dad I I understand you know I

understand that was the only time we

ever talked about it but he he he knew

they

knew war is a bad business and whether

you're

wounded

physically everybody gets

wounded emotionally psychologically you

can't escape that it may end the war

they're in the conflict they're in may

end but the battle Inside the Mind and

the Brain goes on

forever

90% of my life is in my rearview mirror

so only 10% left and I want to make the

best out of my

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

10%

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

in

I'm