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1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:09,343
Welcome back.
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,079
Welcome back, Mr. President.
3
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,448
That was quite a journey
you took. Yep.
4
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,317
I did what every doctor
recommends for an 80 year old.
5
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,521
A two day
whirlwind trip to China.
6
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:25,592
I just flew on from China,
and boy, are my legs swollen.
7
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,828
Very, very good, sir.
That doesn't look good at all.
8
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,831
What are you talking about?
It's bad.
9
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:31,498
You know what?
10
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,700
I'm sorry I didn't take you
with me to China.
11
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,271
JD, I would have,
but I didn't want to.
12
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,641
But I brought you a present that
President XI Jinping gave me.
13
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:44,244
Oh, a finger trap.
14
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:48,048
Very nice. Right. Did you.
What did you give him? Taiwan.
15
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:52,653
Now, JD, I need some time to
relax and did not be around you.
16
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:55,689
Okay? You want me to
leave? Is the Pope Catholic?
17
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,593
Not enough for me?
18
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:03,463
Well, it's time for one of my
patented midweek naps.
19
00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:05,799
Just going to rest my head
on this gold bar
20
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,802
that Switzerland gave me
as a straight up bribe.
21
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:09,503
And sleep.
22
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:15,442
The sweet sleep of an addled,
jetlagged mind.
23
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,311
Donald.
24
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:22,282
God damn.
25
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,250
Who's that?
26
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,918
Who's in here?
27
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,820
Don't worry, Donald, it's me.
28
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:30,991
Your best friend,
Jeffrey Epstein.
29
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:34,461
Jeffrey.
But I thought you were dead.
30
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,430
I am, remember?
31
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:40,801
I killed myself. Wink.
32
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,337
So how are you doing,
Danny, baby?
33
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,905
Not so good, Jeffrey.
34
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,608
My approval ratings in the 30s.
Oh, the 30s. Growth.
35
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:52,913
Call me when it hits
17. Ha ha ha.
36
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,115
Dark. Very dark.
37
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,316
It's a dark situation.
38
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,552
So, what are you up
to these days, Jeff?
39
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:02,856
How's
Evan? It's really, really hot.
40
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,558
But you know me, I keep busy.
41
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,829
Mahjong every Wednesday
with Stalin and John Wayne Gacy.
42
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,932
That guy has stories.
43
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:15,802
What else? Oh, I just wrote
for the Kevin Hart roast.
44
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,138
Had some fun zingers in there.
45
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,806
What about you, Donny, baby?
46
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,174
Any fun summer plans?
47
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,276
Well, you know,
we've got the World Cup.
48
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,178
A UFC fight on my lawn.
49
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:27,881
Like I'm white trash
on WorldStar.
50
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,651
And we're also doing the Patriot
Games,
51
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,820
where high school athletes
come from all over the country.
52
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,490
Boy, your your your yoing.
53
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,959
Ha ha ha. Give me some.
54
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:39,593
You know what?
55
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:44,731
This time
I'm going to leave you hanging.
56
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,600
Wow. Wow. Wonderful.
57
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,935
Yeah. Tremendous, man.
58
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:52,272
We had some fun times together,
didn't we, Donny? Yeah.
59
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,941
We should have taken more
pictures.
60
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:58,078
No. It's really bad
that we took any.
61
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:58,845
Damn it.
62
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,213
I miss you, homey.
63
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,349
In case you're curious,
like all ghosts,
64
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,619
I have the power to show you
visions of the future.
65
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,654
Wow. I'm surprised there is one.
66
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:12,626
First, let me show
you to where Kristi Noem is at.
67
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,728
In six months.
68
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:18,198
My fellow Americans,
I know exactly what we need
69
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,933
to transform this country.
70
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,702
Oh, good.
She's back in politics.
71
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,303
Not exactly.
72
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:26,073
It's the shark.
One vacuum cleaner.
73
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:31,278
And for only 129, 99, it's the
best way to clean up that mess.
74
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,314
Your dog made besides a gun.
75
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:37,350
And it can even handle balloon
scraps left over
76
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:41,988
from when your husband's
giant balloon breasts pop.
77
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:42,589
Oh, wow.
78
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:46,593
I completely forgot about her
husband's balloon beast thing.
79
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,495
Hey, that's a credit
to you, buddy.
80
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,530
Your administration's so crazy.
81
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:54,401
Secret balloon top dogs.
We're only a one day story.
82
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,370
That's actually worrisome.
You know what else? About what?
83
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,472
About beat heads.
84
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,841
Oh, let me show you,
Pete. Six months from now.
85
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,513
Wow. I
guess that's the last of it.
86
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,115
Well, he gave up drinking.
87
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,417
Oh, no, he's not pouring it down
the sink.
88
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:16,389
That's a giant beer bong.
89
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,694
Whew!
90
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,663
Oh, yeah, baby. Come on. Oh!
91
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:28,635
Welcome back to the cash. Cash
with cash and Pete.
92
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,370
Shout out to our sponsor.
93
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:35,942
My own personal line of Cologne
in confidence for men.
94
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,745
Every bottle is
full of my forehead.
95
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,780
Sweat from my mini
senate grilling.
96
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:45,819
A smell
so strong it'll cross your eyes.
97
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,988
And I've got an ad to read too,
so listen up.
98
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,023
But what?
99
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,292
You want people
to think you're drinking water,
100
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,261
but you're actually getting
wasted.
101
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,731
The reach for Poland sprung.
102
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:01,201
It's the first ever hard water.
103
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,603
So when everyone around
you tells you to stop.
104
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,106
That's when
you know you gas to get from.
105
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,576
Well, if Pete's podcasting, I
106
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,579
guess that means that the war in
Iran is over. Yep.
107
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,949
We came in second.
108
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,151
But, Donny. Just remember, no.
109
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,687
No matter
how many wars you start
110
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:24,457
or how bad you tank,
the economy as a distraction,
111
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:28,962
people will always associate you
with me.
112
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,164
And that, my dear close friend.
113
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,601
That is a beautiful thing.
114
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:39,372
Because, darling,
when the morning comes
115
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:44,444
and I see the morning sun.
116
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:49,249
I want to be the one with you.
117
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:52,686
Just the two of us.
118
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,522
We can make it if we drive.
119
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,258
Just the two of us.
120
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,760
Just the two of us.
121
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,630
Just the two of us.
122
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,700
Building big castles
way up high.
123
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,502
Just the two of us.
124
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,839
You and us.
125
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:17,077
And live from
New York it█s Saturday night.
126
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,613
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
127
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,015
♪♪
128
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,183
>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY
129
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,253
NIGHT LIVE" WITH --
130
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:21,434
MUSICAL GUEST PAUL McCARTNEY!
131
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:26,339
AND YOUR HOST, WILL FERRELL!
132
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,144
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- WILL
133
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,379
FERRELL!
134
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,747
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
135
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:49,329
♪♪
136
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,565
Oh! Whoo!
137
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:53,533
Thank you, thank you,
138
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:57,237
thank you very, very much.
I'm thrilled to be back here
139
00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:01,374
hosting
Saturday Night Live, bro.
140
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:05,311
Was a cast member here
for seven years,
141
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:09,649
and now I'm hosting
for the sixth time. Amazing.
142
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,251
It really, really feels like.
143
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,519
It really feels like
coming home.
144
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,955
Hey hey hey hey
hey hey hey hey hey hey.
145
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:22,295
Excuse me.
146
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:22,829
Whoa!
147
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,165
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
148
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,100
I think I'm hosting the show.
149
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,802
You're not the host, I am.
150
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,338
You're Chad Smith of the Red
Hot Chili Peppers.
151
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,308
No! Shut up! Shut up!
152
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,477
Everyone shut up!
153
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,279
What the hell is wrong
with you? He.
154
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:44,851
He pushed me down backstage,
and I fell hard.
155
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:48,121
Lorne
had to give me mouth to mouth.
156
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,690
Seriously,
what are you even doing here?
157
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,593
Okay. I'm
the musical guest tonight.
158
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,528
No you're not.
No you're not. Chad.
159
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:59,399
No. Paul
McCartney is the musical guest.
160
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,668
Yeah.
161
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:05,271
So just get off the stage.
Get off the stage now! Go!
162
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,140
All right.
163
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,876
No, no, don't
clap for him. Don't.
164
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,847
Don't clap for him.
He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy.
165
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,150
God, I'm sorry.
That was weird, right?
166
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,487
That was really weird. Okay,
you know what?
167
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,355
Let's just do a hard reset.
168
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,290
All right? Yeah. Okay.
169
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:24,691
Okay.
170
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:29,796
It's so great to be here hosting
SNL for the sixth time.
171
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,365
The season finale.
172
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:36,269
It's still weird, right?
Yeah, it feels off.
173
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,606
You guys feel that? It's
very off. I'm sorry.
174
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:44,410
Chad Smith, you took the wind
out of my sails. This sucks.
175
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,246
I don't even
know if we should do the show.
176
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,681
That's where I'm at emotionally.
177
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,184
Whatever. Okay, fine.
You know what I'll just do.
178
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,419
I'll just do what the host does
when he.
179
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:54,654
When they don't have any ideas.
180
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:58,258
So I'll just, I'll take
questions from the audience.
181
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:01,427
Yeah. You, sir?
Yeah. The cute one right there.
182
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:07,433
Yeah.
183
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,839
Yeah.
184
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,340
I have a question.
185
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,011
What do you think you're doing,
Chad?
186
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,745
No. No, sir.
187
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,114
Paul McCartney. Well,
why don't you come up here?
188
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:25,285
Just come on, come on. Like.
189
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,319
Look.
190
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,922
Look,
I understand your confusion.
191
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:32,058
Me and Chad do look a lot alike,
but I'm will.
192
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:36,062
I'm hosting tonight.
Nice try. Chad. Get back!
193
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:40,466
Get back behind the drums.
Will you belong, Paul?
194
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:44,671
With all due respect,
you look like a fool right now.
195
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:49,008
Now, I know you've
written a lot of good songs.
196
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,743
Let it be.
197
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,880
Hey, Jude.
198
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,582
Eleanor Rigby.
199
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,550
Yesterday.
200
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,453
Hello. Goodbye, lady Madonna.
201
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,822
Back in the USSR.
202
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,891
Jet. Maybe I'm amazed.
203
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,794
Helter Skelter.
204
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,964
Rocky raccoon.
205
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:11,698
Good night. Tonight.
206
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,201
That's a that's a personal
you blackbird.
207
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:19,505
Oh, here, there and everywhere.
208
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,508
Oh, bloody. Ta dah!
209
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,712
I've just seen a face.
210
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:29,382
Penny Lane.
211
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,083
Yeah, sure.
212
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,518
Fine. There's that one.
213
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,954
But people often forget
there's some great songs.
214
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:39,025
You didn't
write the alphabet song.
215
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,629
Timber featuring Pitbull.
216
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,599
I mean, all the Smash Mouth
stuff.
217
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,735
Get your ass behind the drums,
Chad.
218
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:49,502
Okay. Yes.
219
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,037
Yes, sir. Right away, sir, but.
220
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:53,940
But first, we got a great show
for you tonight.
221
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:58,745
Paul McCartney is here. Stick
around. We'll be right back.
222
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,397
Oh, look, he's waking up.
223
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,298
Honey,
the doctor wants to talk to you.
224
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:24,037
Oh, he stirred a sleepyhead.
225
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,805
How you feeling?
226
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,408
A little out of it.
Yeah, that's.
227
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:32,945
Anesthesia will do that.
Yeah, that's the strong stuff.
228
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:36,082
So the surgery was aces.
229
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,552
We got the gallbladder out.
Easy peasy.
230
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,688
You'll have a teeny scar, but,
231
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,524
no one will see it
unless you're a Speedo guy.
232
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:48,494
I am not.
Oh. Probably best for everyone,
233
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,197
I'm right there with you now.
234
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:55,301
There is one other thing
I want to briefly touch on.
235
00:13:55,301 --> 00:14:00,773
Okay? During the surgery,
some wires got crossed
236
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:06,746
and I accidentally removed
your penis.
237
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,818
I'm sorry.
238
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,486
I'm still very out of it.
239
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,054
What? You.
240
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:19,592
You accidentally removed my
husband's penis. That's correct.
241
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:24,897
And I feel awful about I.
242
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,734
I don't understand.
How could this happen?
243
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:28,868
Yeah. Great question.
244
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,769
Okay,
245
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:32,271
look, in surgery, a nurse said,
246
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:35,274
don't
forget to remove and clean this,
247
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:38,244
referring
to a surgical tray. Okay.
248
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:43,583
What I heard was, don't
forget to remove his penis.
249
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,218
So I did.
250
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:49,722
And, it's
just one of those things.
251
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,525
It's just one of those things.
252
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,696
Can it. Can it be reattached?
Yes, absolutely.
253
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,599
If we still have it.
254
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,733
What?
255
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,103
And here's here's where
you might get a little miffed.
256
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:09,008
Might get a little miffed
after I cut it off.
257
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:12,512
I dropped it down
the bio waste chute, which goes
258
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,081
right to the flash furnace.
259
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,684
So your penis was cremated,
which
260
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,154
just sucks.
261
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,356
I don't understand
how this could happen.
262
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,724
I mean, look,
we could Monday morning
263
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:28,060
quarterback this thing to death,
264
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:32,064
but the score is not going to
change. And again, I feel bad.
265
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:37,136
You can ask my wife.
I wasn't myself at lunch.
266
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:40,173
You went to lunch after?
267
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,443
Yes, but my mind was on this.
268
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,946
I didn't even look up when
the chef did the onion volcano.
269
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,349
You went to Benihana?
270
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:54,086
No. Mr. Shinto hibachi castle.
271
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,155
It's a little livelier
than Benihana.
272
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:59,458
The chefs engage
you more. They'll roast you. I.
273
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,829
I don't care, doctor. What?
What do I do?
274
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:07,266
How do I go to the bathroom
now? How do I fix this?
275
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:11,304
So those are all questions
for the urologist.
276
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,974
You can't help me.
You cut off his penis.
277
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,008
Okay, okay.
278
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,078
Just because I know how
to chop down a tree
279
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:25,885
doesn't mean I know how to carve
the wood into a table.
280
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,821
Just. Does that make sense?
281
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,858
Yeah, I know, I.
282
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:35,494
I win. When is the urologist
coming, doctor?
283
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,764
I haven't spoken to one yet.
284
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,868
You didn't call a urologist? No.
285
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:45,104
I was at lunch with my wife.
286
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:46,639
Are you serious? Okay.
287
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,775
Okay, look, one thing
I can't deal with is yelling.
288
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:53,546
Look, I get this is a
this is a wacky situation.
289
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,282
Oh, okay. Wacky is not the word
I use.
290
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,184
Ma'am, please don't be a bitch.
291
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,087
Excuse me.
292
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:05,157
Oh. Doctor.
293
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:09,128
Doctor? Doctor, I don't have.
I don't have genitals.
294
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,497
No no no no, that's not true.
295
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:17,136
You still listen to me.
296
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,938
Listen to me.
297
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:23,643
You still have your testicle.
298
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,512
Testicle. Singular.
299
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:29,248
Doctor, I had two.
What happened to the other one?
300
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,250
Were you going to tell us
about this?
301
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,319
Ma'am, what did I say
about being a bitch?
302
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,255
Okay, okay. No, you know what?
303
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,423
We don't want to talk to you
anymore.
304
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:41,427
Go call a urologist, okay?
Okay. Fair enough. I'll go.
305
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,129
But I did see something
on your husband's
306
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,865
shirt
that I feel is worth mentioning.
307
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:46,365
What?
308
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,468
And that's what was right here.
309
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:53,940
What is it? Happy birthday.
Oh my God! Okay. No!
310
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:57,009
Get out of here!
Go get a god damn urologist.
311
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,844
All right. Happy birthday.
312
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:03,449
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
313
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,602
>>> MY GOD, HOW MANY ARE THERE?
314
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,103
>> 10,000 STRONG AT LEAST.
315
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:24,870
>> THE CASTLE WILL FALL BY
316
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:29,041
MORNING.
317
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,743
AND WITH IT THE KINGDOM OF MAN.
318
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:31,510
>> FIRST THEY'LL HAVE TO GET
319
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,244
THROUGH MY AX.
320
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,481
>> AND MY BOW.
321
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,249
>> GREAT FRIENDS, YOUR WEAPONS
322
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,752
ARE USELESS AGAINST THE HORDE.
323
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:40,486
OUR ONLY HOPE TO SLOW THEIR
324
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:41,220
ADVANCE IS TO BLOW UP THE CASTLE
325
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,923
BRIDGE.
326
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,158
>> MY LORD, THE ONLY WAY TO
327
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,626
LIGHT THE DOOM POWDER IS FROM
328
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,694
THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIDGE ITSELF.
329
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:49,395
>> AND WHOEVER DOES THAT WILL
330
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:54,367
FACE -- CERTAIN DEATH.
331
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,701
>> WHAT BRAVE SOUL WOULD MAKE
332
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:56,202
SUCH A SACRIFICE?
333
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,971
>> I'LL GO.
334
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,741
>> BOBBIN THE HALFLING?
335
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:02,975
>> BOBBIN, OLD FRIEND, ARE YOU
336
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,745
SURE?
337
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:06,479
>> MY DEER FANDORF, I'VE NEVER
338
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,480
BEEN SO SURE OF ANYTHING IN MY
339
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,985
LIFE.
340
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:17,590
♪ MY TIME HAS COME I KNOW WHAT I
341
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,725
MUST DO ♪
342
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,962
♪ I BID FAREWELL TO THE DWARVES
343
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,230
AND THE ELVES AND TO THE
344
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:28,234
BROTHERHOOD I SAY ADIEU ♪
345
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:34,740
♪ THROW WIDE THE GATES
346
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:40,713
I CHOOSE MY FATE ♪
347
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:41,514
♪ AND I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO ♪
348
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,249
♪ I HAVE TO SWITCH SIDES ♪
349
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:44,250
[ LAUGHTER ]
350
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,185
>> WHAT THE [ BLEEP ]?
351
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:46,952
>> PERHAPS HE'S ATTEMPTING TO
352
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:47,720
FIGHT THEM ALL BY HIMSELF?
353
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,257
>> DEFINITELY NOT.
354
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,191
HE THREW HIS SWORD IN THE MOAT
355
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:52,958
AND NOW HE'S TALKING TO THEM AND
356
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,460
POINTING IN OUR DIRECTION.
357
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,930
>> BOBBIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
358
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,965
♪ SHOW THEM A BLUEPRINT OF THE
359
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,467
CASTLE AND POINT OUT THE WEAKEST
360
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,702
SPOTS RIGHT HERE ♪
361
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,704
♪ HELP THEM TO POISON THE WATER
362
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,706
SUPPLY AND BURN ALL THE LOCAL
363
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,210
CROPS MY BAD ♪
364
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,712
♪ SHOW THE BIGGEST ORCS MY
365
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,946
LITTLE BOBBIN PENIS AND MAKE
366
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,949
THEM LAUGH A LOT ♪
367
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,485
IT IS SMALL.
368
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:20,453
♪ LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH MY ORC
369
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:24,724
WIFE I'M SWITCHING SIDES ♪
370
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,192
>> WOW, YOU'RE BIG.
371
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,327
>> WHY IS EVERYONE CROWDING
372
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,195
AROUND ME?
373
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,664
>> ARGGHH!
374
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,698
>> WELL, GUESS THAT'S THE END OF
375
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:35,468
BOBBIN, THEN.
376
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,202
>> NOW WHAT BRAVE SOUL WILL TAKE
377
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:36,969
HIS PLACE AND DESTROY THE
378
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:37,703
BRIDGE?
379
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:38,471
>> I WILL DO IT.
380
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:39,238
NEVER SEND A HALFLING TO DO A
381
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,708
DWARF'S JOB.
382
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:43,709
♪ THROW WIDE THE GATES I CHOOSE
383
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:49,448
MY FATE ♪
384
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:54,220
♪ AND I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO ♪
385
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,454
[ LAUGHTER ]
386
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:56,722
♪ I'M STILL ALIVE ♪
387
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,225
>> HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE?
388
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,693
♪ I MADE A DEAL WITH THE ORCS
389
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:01,961
THAT CONVINCED THEM NOT TO
390
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,965
MURDER ME ♪
391
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:09,435
♪ THEN I KILLED MY OWN FRIEND TO
392
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,438
PROVE TO THEM MY LOYALTY ♪
393
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:17,209
♪ I'M SWITCHING SIDES ♪
394
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:17,977
>> WELL, AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE
395
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,211
YOUR AMULET OF INVINCIBILITY,
396
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,214
FANDOLF.
397
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,449
>> OH, I THINK BOBBIN STOLE IT
398
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,717
ON HIS WAY OUT.
399
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:25,718
NOW HE'S GIVING IT TO THEIR
400
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:26,719
MEANEST GUY.
401
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:27,720
>> THERE YOU GO, NOW YOU CAN'T
402
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,687
DIE.
403
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:30,956
>> OH, COME ON.
404
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,224
♪ I LIVE MY ORC LIFE WITH MY ORC
405
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,226
WIFE ♪
406
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:36,195
>> OH!
407
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,429
>> OH!
408
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:38,464
>> WAIT, BEFORE I DIE, I SHOULD
409
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:39,465
PROBABLY TELL YOU THE WOMEN AND
410
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,199
CHILDREN ARE HIDING BENEATH THE
411
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:41,967
CASTLE.
412
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:42,935
>> THAT'S OUR BOBBIN, A TRUE
413
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,937
COWARD.
414
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:47,573
♪ I'M SWITCHING SIDES ♪
415
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:54,180
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
416
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:12,331
So I thought, oh, I'm so sexy,
so stressing.
417
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,434
Guys, like, I really want a good
part in the spring musical.
418
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,536
I know my tears
almost over and Mr.
419
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:19,872
Connick still hasn't
posted the cast list.
420
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,073
What's taking so long?
421
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,775
It's grease Madison.
422
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,109
There's like a ton of speaking
roles.
423
00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:25,444
The whole I'm freaking out.
424
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,180
Okay, Marcy, just try to make us
laugh.
425
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:33,519
Me watching a Jacob
Elordi movie, girl voter. Oh.
426
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:40,259
Oh oh.
427
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:40,826
Look at you.
428
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:45,598
All buzzing about like flies
to fresh cocker.
429
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,099
I love your outfit, Mr. Connick.
430
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,435
I wish I dressed as cool
as you. Lucas.
431
00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:52,504
If you're going to stick
your nose that far up my ass,
432
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:56,442
at least check my colon
for polyps.
433
00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:59,445
Mr. Connick,
how's the Teslas coming along?
434
00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:02,548
Slowly.
This show needs to be a hit.
435
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,817
After the fall musical flopped,
436
00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:07,486
but I still contend
that doing The Color Purple
437
00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:12,491
with an
all white cast was brave.
438
00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:13,826
Anyway,
439
00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:16,095
I wanted to let you know
that the school board
440
00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:19,565
is pressuring me
to cast one particular student.
441
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:25,571
I won't say who, but
I'm really, really mad about it.
442
00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:34,780
Oh my God, who do you think
he's talking about? Me?
443
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:36,315
Don't get in your head, Amy.
444
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:39,685
God, I'm so scared. I'm
going to get put in the chorus.
445
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,020
What are you talking about?
446
00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,688
You always get the lead, Dyson.
447
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,356
Yeah,
but ever since I booked that
448
00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:46,158
Honey Nut Cheerios
commercial, Mr.
449
00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:49,995
Cronin has been, like, weirdly
jealous and mean to me. Whoa!
450
00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:52,765
Be careful what you say,
okay? There's a rumor Mr.
451
00:23:52,765 --> 00:24:01,941
Coating likes to watch us spin
out through that wicked poster.
452
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,476
I don't care what part I get,
as long as it's not a tree.
453
00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:06,512
I've been a tree
the last five years.
454
00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:10,983
You're a senior, Lexi. There's
no way you're going to be a tree
455
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,952
catcher.
456
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,689
Don't ask me about the cast
list, guys.
457
00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:20,659
You know the teacher's assistant
isn't allowed to say anything.
458
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:24,363
Lexi. Mr. Koenig
wants to get a picture of you.
459
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:27,499
Can you do me a favor and hold
this?
460
00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:31,270
Don't read into this. Don't
read into this.
461
00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:34,440
Can you hold them
high, please? Can you.
462
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,209
Can you sway in the breeze
a little bit?
463
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:41,480
Yay! Excellent.
464
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,751
Thank you.
465
00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:46,218
Yeah.
466
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:52,725
You know, Nancy, Oh,
467
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:56,695
I just had a few questions
before I finalize the cast list.
468
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,263
Is that okay, Mr.
469
00:24:58,263 --> 00:25:02,101
Hollywood, or do
I need to go through your agent?
470
00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:03,268
I don't have an agent.
471
00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,971
I just eat cereal in the
background of that commercial.
472
00:25:05,971 --> 00:25:08,907
I had no lines, sir.
473
00:25:08,907 --> 00:25:12,344
No lines. I like that for you
474
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,413
now, Tyler.
475
00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:15,080
Yes, Mr.
476
00:25:15,414 --> 00:25:19,218
Connick, you're you're
in the mix for Danny Zuko.
477
00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:21,553
But I don't know
if audiences are ready to accept
478
00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:24,723
a ginger as a leading man.
479
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:28,594
Would you be
willing to dye your hair black?
480
00:25:28,594 --> 00:25:33,465
Of course. All of your hair.
481
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:37,569
Whatever it takes,
sir. Gracious. Shannon.
482
00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:41,306
Yes? Mr. Connick,
what are you doing here?
483
00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:43,542
You're one of those weird
Christian teenagers,
484
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,110
and there's kissing
in this show.
485
00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:49,381
Would you even know what to do?
Oh, I know how to French.
486
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,050
I know how to French.
Kiss. Watch.
487
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:55,821
Oh, oh, you stop.
488
00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:59,024
I've. I've seen worse.
489
00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:02,895
Oliver. Lucas. Oliver.
Yes, yes. Mr.. Yes.
490
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,130
You're both up
for the role of Kenickie.
491
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:07,032
But I'm worried
you're too dorky and awkward
492
00:26:07,032 --> 00:26:10,602
to bring the raw masculinity
of the role demands.
493
00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:13,372
Casper show them
what an alpha male sounds like.
494
00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:19,311
Yes, Mr. König, I can show you
the world's shining, shimmering.
495
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:22,681
Splendid. Stop!
496
00:26:22,681 --> 00:26:25,884
Oh, grow boner.
497
00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:27,386
Exactly.
498
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:31,557
Why did
you have to graduate? Why,
499
00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:32,491
Madison.
500
00:26:32,491 --> 00:26:33,125
Yes, Mr.
501
00:26:33,492 --> 00:26:36,962
Kotick, I want you for Sandy.
But she's chesty.
502
00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:38,697
Would you be willing to wear
a push up
503
00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:40,966
bra with water balloons in it?
504
00:26:40,966 --> 00:26:43,569
I'd be honored, sir. Wonderful.
505
00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:45,904
To quote the great William
Shakespeare,
506
00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:51,777
sluts with teats
put butts in seats.
507
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:54,646
And that just leaves
the two jocks
508
00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:56,949
who have to do the show
for elective credit.
509
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:59,985
Could could you to handle
leading roles.
510
00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,420
Now we got to miss most
rehearsals.
511
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,822
Yeah, because we got valuable.
512
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:08,994
Oh, that only makes me
want you more.
513
00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,497
One last thing. What was it?
514
00:27:11,497 --> 00:27:16,735
Oh, the show is cast.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
515
00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:19,404
Oh, wow, I have tissues.
516
00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:24,443
If anyone cries,
maybe you should hold them. I'm.
517
00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:31,583
Oh my God. Right. Deep deep.
518
00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:33,785
Back up, back up,
519
00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:36,255
back up. Give me room.
520
00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:42,227
The choreographer must initial
the list first. She.
521
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:59,278
Come home.
522
00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:00,512
Let's get you home. Be.
523
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:07,452
Oh, yeah.
524
00:28:07,452 --> 00:28:11,523
And of course, our music
director and choir teacher.
525
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:23,468
Miss Peebles. Hey!
526
00:28:29,575 --> 00:28:32,945
A couple of things about me.
527
00:28:32,945 --> 00:28:36,982
First of all, some people say
that I'm too handsy with boys.
528
00:28:36,982 --> 00:28:38,850
That's a lie.
529
00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:40,619
I don't know who started it.
530
00:28:40,619 --> 00:28:43,488
And number two,
I am tough as nails.
531
00:28:43,488 --> 00:28:44,623
But guess what?
532
00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:48,360
I get results. Watch this. You
with a sweatshirt? Come here.
533
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,029
Sing me the highest note
that you can. Okay.
534
00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:55,033
How? Come on. You can do
better than that.
535
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:56,768
Tummy in. Yeah.
536
00:28:56,768 --> 00:28:59,605
Oh, you got nice abs
537
00:28:59,605 --> 00:29:03,075
ass out and you got a scratch.
538
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:06,178
Desire.
539
00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:11,316
Hey, I.
540
00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:15,587
Know that's
what you're talking about.
541
00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:16,321
Doggies.
542
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:19,958
Come get your treats. Oh,
my God, don't we have.
543
00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:22,928
Oh my God.
Yeah, right. Turn it up.
544
00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:26,732
Caspar got daddy
Zuko. He's not even a student.
545
00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:30,636
Sorry, guys.
That's just showbiz.
546
00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:32,938
Oh, my gosh, look at them.
547
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:35,741
Oh, so bad.
548
00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:38,510
Bad? Don't you mean wicked?
549
00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,179
Ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha!
550
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:01,133
>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PAUL
551
00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:02,801
McCARTNEY!
552
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:06,238
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
553
00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:07,739
♪♪
554
00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:15,714
♪♪
555
00:30:15,714 --> 00:30:17,249
♪ LOOKING BACK AT
556
00:30:17,249 --> 00:30:19,718
WHITE AND BLACK
557
00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:24,456
REMINDERS OF MY PAST ♪
558
00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:25,490
♪ SMOKY BARS
559
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:28,960
AND CHEAP GUITARS
560
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:34,700
BUT NOTHING BUILT TO LAST ♪
561
00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:38,937
♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING EVER STAYS
562
00:30:38,937 --> 00:30:44,209
NOTHING COMES TO MIND
563
00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:49,715
NO ONE CAN ERASE
564
00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:53,218
THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪
565
00:30:53,218 --> 00:31:01,727
♪♪
566
00:31:01,727 --> 00:31:03,962
♪ SEE THE BOYS OF
567
00:31:03,962 --> 00:31:07,466
DUNGEON LANE ALONG
568
00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:10,702
THE MERSEY SHORE ♪
569
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:17,209
♪ SOME OF THEM WILL
570
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:23,949
FEEL THE PAIN
571
00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:24,950
BUT SOME WERE MEANT
572
00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:26,451
FOR MORE ♪
573
00:31:26,451 --> 00:31:27,953
♪ AND NOTHING STAYS THE SAME
574
00:31:27,953 --> 00:31:31,456
NO ONE NEEDS TO CRY
575
00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:34,993
NOTHING CAN RECLAIM
576
00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:41,700
THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪
577
00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:43,201
♪ WE MET AT FORTHLIN ROAD
578
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:46,204
AND WROTE A SECRET CODE
579
00:31:46,204 --> 00:31:52,210
TO NEVER BE SPOKEN ♪
580
00:31:52,210 --> 00:31:53,445
♪ I STAND BY WHAT I SAID
581
00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:59,951
THE PROMISE THAT I MADE
582
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:06,458
WILL NEVER BE BROKEN ♪
583
00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:08,460
♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING EVER STAYS
584
00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:11,963
NOTHING COMES TO MIND
585
00:32:11,963 --> 00:32:15,700
AND NO ONE CAN ERASE
586
00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:19,971
THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪
587
00:32:19,971 --> 00:32:28,980
♪♪
588
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:32,217
♪ IN THE SKIES THE SKYLARKS
589
00:32:32,217 --> 00:32:33,952
RISE ABOVE THE SOUNDS
590
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:39,458
OF WAR ♪
591
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:40,959
♪ SINCE THAT DAY I KNEW
592
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,460
THEY'D STAY WITH ME
593
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:47,466
FOREVERMORE ♪
594
00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:48,200
♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING STAYS
595
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:57,976
THE SAME
596
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,244
NO ONE NEEDS TO CRY ♪
597
00:32:59,244 --> 00:33:01,746
♪ NO ONE IS TO BLAME
598
00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:03,482
FOR THE DAYS
599
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:08,486
WE LEFT BEHIND
600
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:13,492
THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪
601
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:20,232
♪♪
602
00:33:20,232 --> 00:33:22,300
♪♪
603
00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:32,611
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
604
00:33:43,221 --> 00:33:49,227
It's Weekend Update with Colin
Jost and Michael Che.
605
00:34:00,939 --> 00:34:01,806
Thank you.
606
00:34:01,806 --> 00:34:05,777
Good evening. Thank you.
607
00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:08,747
Oh, God. Jesus.
Good evening everyone.
608
00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:13,018
Welcome to weekend update. I'm
Michael che. I'm Colin Jost.
609
00:34:13,018 --> 00:34:17,656
I'm. This week
President Trump traveled 14,000
610
00:34:17,656 --> 00:34:19,591
miles round trip to China
611
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:23,061
for a 48 hour summit,
which historians are already
612
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,431
calling
could have been an email.
613
00:34:26,431 --> 00:34:27,465
President Trump
614
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:30,402
arrived in China,
but instead of XI Jinping,
615
00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:33,672
he was greeted by the country's
vice president, Han Zhong.
616
00:34:33,672 --> 00:34:39,344
Or, as Trump called him,
XI Jinping.
617
00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:42,614
President Trump was greeted
at the Great Hall of the people
618
00:34:42,614 --> 00:34:45,483
by schoolchildren jumping up
and down in excitement,
619
00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:51,489
shouting, it's
the man from the hats we make.
620
00:34:52,824 --> 00:34:55,760
President Trump brought his son
Eric to China
621
00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:01,766
as a gift.
622
00:35:03,535 --> 00:35:04,069
This week,
623
00:35:04,469 --> 00:35:06,538
CIA Director
John Ratcliffe traveled to Cuba,
624
00:35:06,538 --> 00:35:10,475
which has run out of oil and is
experiencing massive blackouts.
625
00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:13,511
We sent the CIA director
because the FBI guy
626
00:35:13,511 --> 00:35:15,981
is also experiencing
massive blackouts.
627
00:35:18,917 --> 00:35:22,187
U.S. and Chinese authorities
conducted a joint operation
628
00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:24,923
to arrest members of a drug
smuggling ring.
629
00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:29,294
So great work. Agents
Carter and Lee.
630
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:30,996
Cole Thomas Allen has pleaded
631
00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:33,732
not guilty to attempting
to assassinate the president,
632
00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:37,502
a crime which carries a maximum
penalty of life in prison.
633
00:35:37,502 --> 00:35:38,870
He could also be charged
with trying
634
00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:40,405
to kill the vice president,
635
00:35:40,405 --> 00:35:46,411
which carries a maximum
penalty of a full pardon.
636
00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:52,817
That's the real serial health
secretary, RFK Jr.
637
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:58,823
Seen here showing how vaccines
turn you gay.
638
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:04,729
Said that during an Oval Office
event that in 1970, men
639
00:36:04,729 --> 00:36:08,566
had twice the sperm count,
as our teenagers do today.
640
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:11,469
The teenage sperm counts
were measured at the.
641
00:36:11,469 --> 00:36:15,974
You sure this is
legal Institute?
642
00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,909
President Trump
said in an interview
643
00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:22,514
that he is now referring
to Democrats as Democrats
644
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:23,782
because they're dumb.
645
00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,719
Clever.
646
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:29,587
He's also referring to himself
647
00:36:29,587 --> 00:36:35,593
as the greatest president
of all time.
648
00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,832
According to a senior official.
649
00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:42,734
President Trump
keeps a letter in the Resolute
650
00:36:42,734 --> 00:36:45,003
Desk addressed
to Vice President J.D.
651
00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:48,173
Vance in the event
he dies. Or is assassinated.
652
00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:53,712
The letter reads simply,
I wish it had been you.
653
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,246
President Trump has rejected
654
00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:58,650
Iran's latest demands in
the war, including recognition
655
00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:02,353
of Iranian sovereignty over
the Strait of Hormuz and U.S.
656
00:37:02,353 --> 00:37:03,922
War reparations.
657
00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,091
You want reparations
from America?
658
00:37:06,091 --> 00:37:10,361
Get in line, honey.
659
00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:14,199
Yeah.
660
00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:15,667
It's that simple.
661
00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:18,703
Texas Senator John Cornyn
has introduced legislation
662
00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:21,873
to rename a state
highway Trump interstate,
663
00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:24,209
because for some reason,
people associate Trump
664
00:37:24,209 --> 00:37:30,215
with traffic across state lines.
665
00:37:33,852 --> 00:37:36,755
Conservative political figure
Carrie Legge has been appointed
666
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:40,191
by President Trump to be
the next ambassador to Jamaica.
667
00:37:40,191 --> 00:37:41,893
Lake says her top priority
668
00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:44,596
would be to convert
reggae to red, straight.
669
00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:54,939
FIFA announced
that this year's World Cup
670
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:57,408
final will have a halftime show
featuring Madonna,
671
00:37:57,408 --> 00:37:59,744
Shakira and Beats,
which is being
672
00:37:59,744 --> 00:38:05,750
described as something
for everyone to dislike.
673
00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:07,685
A recent poll
found that three fourths
674
00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:09,354
of Americans
believe the right to free
675
00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:11,489
speech is heading
in the wrong direction.
676
00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:14,225
Here, to cut through the noise
and speak his mind is Mr.
677
00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:17,095
on Blast.
678
00:38:17,095 --> 00:38:20,431
Hello, Colleen. Ha ha.
679
00:38:20,431 --> 00:38:21,232
That's right.
680
00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:21,800
I'm Mr.
681
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,668
on blast.
And unlike other fools,
682
00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:27,038
I ain't afraid
to speak truth to power.
683
00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:33,044
So get ready because no one
is safe from being put on blast.
684
00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:35,947
Okay.
685
00:38:35,947 --> 00:38:37,549
All right, well, go ahead.
Lay it on us.
686
00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:41,186
All right. First up,
I. What are we doing?
687
00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:41,653
Prompts.
688
00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:47,659
This prompts that I more like
p u Blast.
689
00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:53,631
All right.
690
00:38:53,631 --> 00:38:56,434
Kind of starting at a C minus.
Sure.
691
00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:58,836
Okay, y'all want to talk
about the metaverse?
692
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:01,039
Why don't you go read
a Bible verse?
693
00:39:01,039 --> 00:39:04,209
Wait for your Christian devo.
694
00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:05,610
And to all those A.I.
695
00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:10,782
companies in Silicon Valley,
Gemini, Claude ChatGPT.
696
00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:14,586
More like chat g p u. Oh, blast!
697
00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:31,135
Of the.
698
00:39:31,135 --> 00:39:33,104
Where did where did the cake
come from?
699
00:39:33,104 --> 00:39:37,141
Oh, you're not ready for that
conversation, sweet cheeks.
700
00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,510
Just don't touch my
701
00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:43,715
sweet cheeks or touch my hands.
That's right. Okay. Next up.
702
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:47,418
Stock market always going up,
always going down.
703
00:39:47,418 --> 00:39:48,353
Here's an idea.
704
00:39:48,353 --> 00:39:49,587
Stay still.
705
00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:55,593
I'm blast.
706
00:40:00,498 --> 00:40:01,299
Okay.
707
00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:06,804
Okay, okay. No! Stop it! No!
708
00:40:06,804 --> 00:40:08,473
You want.
709
00:40:08,473 --> 00:40:11,209
You want the stock market
to stay still?
710
00:40:11,209 --> 00:40:14,979
Yeah. I'm ruthless
because blasting is my mitzvah.
711
00:40:14,979 --> 00:40:16,981
I am.
712
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:21,185
Wait, you're Jewish too? Devout.
713
00:40:21,185 --> 00:40:23,688
Now blasting on toward CEOs.
714
00:40:23,688 --> 00:40:26,724
Or should I say CEO knows?
715
00:40:26,724 --> 00:40:29,727
Hey, CEOs,
I hear you make a lot of money.
716
00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:32,697
Too bad you can't buy yourself
a moral compass.
717
00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:34,365
I'm blessed. Hi, I'm Mr.
718
00:40:34,365 --> 00:40:36,734
on Blast, and I'm in the place
where they put the pictures.
719
00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:49,480
What the hell?
720
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,182
How did you do that?
721
00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:56,387
My grandson works on the show.
You have a grandson to vouch.
722
00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:58,890
Now give me and my family
a break. Colleen.
723
00:40:58,890 --> 00:41:00,858
It's hard up here.
724
00:41:00,858 --> 00:41:03,828
Yeah, you know what?
I actually, I bet it is hard.
725
00:41:03,828 --> 00:41:05,263
Especially when, you out here
726
00:41:05,263 --> 00:41:07,665
looking like a lesbian,
Bruno Mars.
727
00:41:07,665 --> 00:41:13,638
Last.
728
00:41:13,871 --> 00:41:19,844
No. Why did mom sound like that?
729
00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:22,880
Looks like you just got
put on blast. Blast, boys.
730
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:28,886
Get out here!
731
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:47,772
Whoa!
732
00:41:52,243 --> 00:41:53,544
Okay.
733
00:41:53,544 --> 00:41:55,446
Yeah,
I know what's going to happen.
734
00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:57,215
Okay. Miss your on blast.
735
00:41:57,215 --> 00:42:01,652
Everyone is now devout.
736
00:42:01,652 --> 00:42:03,621
Devout? Kind of blaster.
737
00:42:03,621 --> 00:42:05,523
Kind of
738
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,358
a contestant on
The Price Is Right.
739
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,061
Recently
won the largest single episode
740
00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:12,096
prize in the show's history.
741
00:42:12,096 --> 00:42:18,369
One night with Drew Carey.
742
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,272
Researchers
studying the 59,000 year old
743
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,174
teeth of a Neanderthal believe
744
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:26,544
they found the first evidence
of an attempt to fill a cavity.
745
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:29,747
The evidence was this stone
tablet denying coverage.
746
00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:34,585
Happy birthday to music legend
747
00:42:34,585 --> 00:42:40,324
Stevie Wonder,
who this week turned right for
748
00:42:40,324 --> 00:42:41,292
Stevie Wonder
749
00:42:41,526 --> 00:42:44,996
this week turned 76 and received
his favorite birthday gift.
750
00:42:44,996 --> 00:42:51,002
Another hand full of diamonds.
751
00:42:55,273 --> 00:42:58,443
A scientist has discovered
a new species of flower
752
00:42:58,443 --> 00:43:01,913
that only exists in new Jersey,
where it is
753
00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:07,919
where it is bullied constantly
for looking like a pussy.
754
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,489
This week
marks the 40th anniversary
755
00:43:11,489 --> 00:43:16,260
of the modern NBC Peacock logo,
which debuted in 1986.
756
00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:17,728
And if that peacock could talk,
757
00:43:17,728 --> 00:43:23,734
I bet it's a Bill
Cosby raped me.
758
00:43:26,404 --> 00:43:29,674
Well.
759
00:43:29,674 --> 00:43:31,375
You can't believe it
hasn't already started.
760
00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,711
But tonight
we have another edition
761
00:43:33,711 --> 00:43:39,717
where it's saying I give
each other jokes to read and.
762
00:43:42,153 --> 00:43:43,754
So, yeah, we're making
some of the regionals
763
00:43:43,754 --> 00:43:46,157
live on air that the other
person's never seen before.
764
00:43:47,525 --> 00:43:49,827
Are you nervous getting ready?
765
00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:50,962
No. This is it's.
766
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:52,930
Yeah, it's it's gonna be fun.
We're going to be
767
00:43:52,930 --> 00:43:57,201
fun to each other
and to our families.
768
00:43:57,201 --> 00:43:59,704
And it's out of love.
769
00:43:59,704 --> 00:44:01,806
Yes. Why don't you go first,
Colin?
770
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:08,913
Sure.
771
00:44:08,913 --> 00:44:13,818
Mattel has introduced
a new Barbie that has autism.
772
00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:19,824
Now it's going to feel wrong
when I have sex with it.
773
00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:25,863
Feel wrong?
774
00:44:25,863 --> 00:44:27,899
A new study
finds that the average length
775
00:44:27,899 --> 00:44:32,370
of an erect
penis in the country is 6.34in.
776
00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:37,408
Oh, boy. That means I'm
only six inches below average.
777
00:44:37,408 --> 00:44:43,414
Now I just have to figure out
how to get erect.
778
00:44:45,049 --> 00:44:48,419
I like, I like
that is a challenge for you.
779
00:44:48,419 --> 00:44:50,855
Michael B Jordan won Best actor
780
00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:53,925
for his role
in the vampire movie sinners.
781
00:44:53,925 --> 00:44:57,061
A black vampire
is just like a white vampire.
782
00:44:57,061 --> 00:45:00,531
Except the only thing it sucks
dry is the welfare state.
783
00:45:05,469 --> 00:45:08,806
Colin.
784
00:45:08,806 --> 00:45:13,244
Now, now, that was just a joke.
785
00:45:13,244 --> 00:45:14,912
I'm not a racist.
786
00:45:14,912 --> 00:45:17,848
And to prove it, I, Colin Jost,
787
00:45:17,848 --> 00:45:21,586
hereby pledge
this season's salary
788
00:45:21,586 --> 00:45:28,125
to Doctor
Umar school for Black Boys.
789
00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:30,728
Now, y'all might know.
790
00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:33,598
Y'all might not know who
that is,
791
00:45:33,598 --> 00:45:39,604
but the brothers at home
is nodding their heads.
792
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:48,946
No one in our white
audience understands.
793
00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:53,951
And if that's not enough,
I have a beautiful new, very
794
00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:56,687
ready to give any black person
795
00:45:56,687 --> 00:46:02,693
a free one way trip
back to the motherland.
796
00:46:04,862 --> 00:46:11,402
Oh. I would have ended it
at the Doctor Who, but I think
797
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:14,572
a new study suggested
798
00:46:14,572 --> 00:46:17,174
a new study suggests
that men are less likely
799
00:46:17,174 --> 00:46:19,710
to suffer
from erectile dysfunction
800
00:46:19,710 --> 00:46:21,779
if they drink grape juice.
801
00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:25,082
Which explains why my boyfriend
is always rock hard.
802
00:46:29,654 --> 00:46:34,225
Oh. Oh.
803
00:46:34,225 --> 00:46:40,231
Speaking of giving little boys
juice.
804
00:46:43,534 --> 00:46:46,370
You're a terrible person.
805
00:46:46,370 --> 00:46:47,004
The movie.
806
00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:49,874
Michael won the box office again
this weekend.
807
00:46:49,874 --> 00:46:52,376
And since a few members
of the Jackson
808
00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:55,446
family are actually
in the audience tonight,
809
00:46:55,446 --> 00:46:56,881
I wanted to take a moment
810
00:46:56,881 --> 00:46:59,950
and tell everybody
what I really think.
811
00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:03,854
Michael Jackson did
nothing wrong.
812
00:47:03,854 --> 00:47:09,493
He was right
to let all those kids go.
813
00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:10,494
And they were lucky.
814
00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:13,364
I would have paid him to do it.
815
00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:15,733
And I did. That's right.
816
00:47:15,733 --> 00:47:19,303
When I was ten years old,
Michael Jackson molested me.
817
00:47:19,303 --> 00:47:21,038
And the only thing it gave me
818
00:47:21,038 --> 00:47:25,409
was a fetish for middle aged
white women.
819
00:47:25,409 --> 00:47:31,982
That is not why I have that.
820
00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:36,120
Now, since he's learned, we've
just learned a lot about you.
821
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:39,557
Yay! Yay!
822
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:41,926
Has released a new album
called bully.
823
00:47:41,926 --> 00:47:45,496
So please try to separate
the art from the artist.
824
00:47:45,496 --> 00:47:47,064
And remember that you
825
00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:50,768
can make awful music
and still be right about Hitler.
826
00:47:55,740 --> 00:47:58,776
Now, that
joke is offensive to everybody.
827
00:47:58,776 --> 00:48:01,545
And I'd like to apologize.
828
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:05,082
I'd like to sacrifice the most
important thing in my life.
829
00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:13,224
My beautiful, award
winning, world famous hair.
830
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,759
That's right.
831
00:48:14,759 --> 00:48:18,129
I'm shaving. Ha!
832
00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:24,135
Send in the barber
833
00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:31,542
Jerome.
834
00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:33,244
Make me unpretty.
835
00:48:33,244 --> 00:48:35,212
No, no no no.
836
00:48:35,212 --> 00:48:38,582
You know
what's really going to do it?
837
00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:41,852
Man. You are the greatest
comedian.
838
00:48:41,852 --> 00:48:43,354
Oh, no.
839
00:48:43,354 --> 00:48:46,991
No, no. Damn it! For the Weekend
Update, I'm Michael.
840
00:48:46,991 --> 00:48:48,926
I was so scared to do it.
841
00:48:48,926 --> 00:48:52,997
I was so scared
we couldn't do it.
842
00:48:52,997 --> 00:48:56,967
I'm Michael Che.
Good night. Oh my God. Oh.
843
00:49:11,982 --> 00:49:13,250
LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH WHAT WE
844
00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:16,320
DID WITH YOUR RAV-4.
845
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,555
FLUSHED THE EVACUATOR.
846
00:49:17,555 --> 00:49:21,458
GAVE YOU A DONGROD GASKET.
847
00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:23,160
GRABBED THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS.
848
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,462
PUT IT ON WITH THE BOOTS WITH
849
00:49:25,462 --> 00:49:26,564
THE FUR.
850
00:49:26,564 --> 00:49:27,898
THAT'S WHY THE WHOLE CLUB WAS
851
00:49:27,898 --> 00:49:28,532
LOOKING AT IT.
852
00:49:28,532 --> 00:49:29,667
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
853
00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:30,868
>> I REALLY DON'T KNOW.
854
00:49:30,868 --> 00:49:32,102
WE BROUGHT IT IN BECAUSE THE
855
00:49:32,102 --> 00:49:32,670
LIGHT CAME ON.
856
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:34,939
>> RIGHT, THAT MEANS YOUR SPROG
857
00:49:34,939 --> 00:49:38,909
BOX IS SHOT, OKAY?
858
00:49:38,909 --> 00:49:40,478
AND THE SPROG BOX, RIGHT HERE
859
00:49:40,478 --> 00:49:41,478
THAT CREATES CAMBER, OKAY?
860
00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:44,148
AND IT ROTATES LIKE THIS.
861
00:49:44,148 --> 00:49:44,849
BUT YOURS WAS ROTATING LIKE
862
00:49:44,849 --> 00:49:49,854
THIS.
863
00:49:49,854 --> 00:49:52,456
THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU'RE
864
00:49:52,456 --> 00:49:53,357
HEARING THAT LITTLE LEE LEE LEE
865
00:49:53,357 --> 00:49:54,758
LEE LEE LEE LEE!
866
00:49:54,758 --> 00:49:55,526
HEARING ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
867
00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:56,227
>> POSSIBLY.
868
00:49:56,227 --> 00:49:59,630
I USUALLY LISTEN TO MUSIC WHEN
869
00:49:59,630 --> 00:50:00,097
I'M IN THE CAR.
870
00:50:00,264 --> 00:50:01,799
>> MUSIC, NO, YOU CANNOT BE
871
00:50:01,799 --> 00:50:02,633
DOING THAT.
872
00:50:02,633 --> 00:50:04,835
LOOK, DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER.
873
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:08,906
I'LL BRING IN THE MECHANIC,
874
00:50:08,906 --> 00:50:11,141
SANTIAGO, TO GIVE YOU THE
875
00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:11,508
BREAKDOWN.
876
00:50:11,642 --> 00:50:12,042
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
877
00:50:12,042 --> 00:50:15,512
IN ENGLISH.
878
00:50:15,512 --> 00:50:15,913
>> OKAY.
879
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:19,183
>> SO I CHECK THE CAMMERRATER
880
00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:20,985
AND THE RAMMERRATER AND BOTH OF
881
00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:22,753
THEM IS PERFECT, OKAY?
882
00:50:22,753 --> 00:50:24,655
BUT WHEN I GOT UNDER THE HOOD, I
883
00:50:24,655 --> 00:50:25,322
GET IN THERE AND I SAY --
884
00:50:25,322 --> 00:50:34,465
[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
885
00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:35,532
>> I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT?
886
00:50:35,532 --> 00:50:35,933
>> SPANISH.
887
00:50:35,933 --> 00:50:40,404
[ LAUGHTER ]
888
00:50:40,404 --> 00:50:42,139
BUT BASED ON WHAT SANTI IS
889
00:50:42,139 --> 00:50:44,241
SAYING HERE, THE SCRUM BELT IS
890
00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:44,808
REAL TREE TRUNKY.
891
00:50:44,808 --> 00:50:48,379
>> YEAH, YEAH.
892
00:50:48,379 --> 00:50:50,781
IS-A MAKING A SOUND.
893
00:50:50,781 --> 00:50:52,016
THE SCRUM BELT MAKING A SOUND
894
00:50:52,016 --> 00:50:53,751
LIKE AAH!
895
00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:54,084
OOH!
896
00:50:54,418 --> 00:50:59,056
>> YOU EVER DRIVE AND HEAR A
897
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:03,594
SOUND LIKE HAEHHH!
898
00:51:03,594 --> 00:51:03,928
HAEHHH!
899
00:51:03,928 --> 00:51:06,430
>> WAAH!
900
00:51:06,430 --> 00:51:06,730
WAAH!
901
00:51:07,097 --> 00:51:08,198
>> THAT'S A WORN SCRUM BELT.
902
00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:09,867
>> OKAY.
903
00:51:09,867 --> 00:51:12,870
HAS THE CAR BEEN GOING, AAHHH!
904
00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:16,840
AAHHH!
905
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:17,241
[ LAUGHTER ]
906
00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:20,511
>> YEAH, YEAH.
907
00:51:20,511 --> 00:51:22,046
YEAH, AS WELL, EVERY TIME I PUT
908
00:51:22,046 --> 00:51:27,818
IT IN GEAR, I HEAR -- OOH-WAAH!
909
00:51:27,818 --> 00:51:30,821
USUALLY WHEN IT GO WAAH!
910
00:51:30,821 --> 00:51:33,157
THAT MEAN YOU NEED A NEW
911
00:51:33,157 --> 00:51:33,691
TRANSPERSON.
912
00:51:33,691 --> 00:51:34,091
[ LAUGHTER ]
913
00:51:34,391 --> 00:51:36,594
>> YEAH, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A
914
00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:37,661
NEW TRANSPERSON.
915
00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,729
I RECOMMEND YOU FIX IT TODAY.
916
00:51:38,729 --> 00:51:41,231
>> YEAH, AND THEN COMING BACK
917
00:51:41,231 --> 00:51:42,433
EVERY SIX DAYS, OKAY?
918
00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:46,937
I WANT TO BE SEEING YOU.
919
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:52,610
AND I WANT YOU TO COME TO MY
920
00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:52,943
PERSON.
921
00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:55,646
>> HE WANTS YOU TO COME TO HIS
922
00:51:55,646 --> 00:51:57,982
PRIVATE PARTY.
923
00:51:57,982 --> 00:51:58,782
CAR-WISE, YOUR BEST OPTION, NOT
924
00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:00,517
THE CHEAPEST, BUT THE BEST IS TO
925
00:52:00,517 --> 00:52:01,652
REPLACE ALL THE PARTS.
926
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:04,321
>> SO REBUILD THE ENTIRE CAR?
927
00:52:04,321 --> 00:52:04,722
[ LAUGHTER ]
928
00:52:05,022 --> 00:52:06,824
WE JUST BROUGHT IT IN FOR AN OIL
929
00:52:06,824 --> 00:52:07,157
CHANGE.
930
00:52:07,324 --> 00:52:07,691
>> YOUR OIL IS FINE.
931
00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:09,994
WE KEEP THE OIL.
932
00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:10,728
WE REBUILD EVERYTHING AROUND IT.
933
00:52:10,728 --> 00:52:12,830
[ LAUGHTER ]
934
00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:14,965
>> HOW MUCH WILL THAT COST US?
935
00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:15,899
>> FOR YOU GUYS?
936
00:52:15,899 --> 00:52:25,175
IT'S GOING TO BE ONLY ABOUT
937
00:52:25,175 --> 00:52:28,178
4,100 700,000.
938
00:52:28,178 --> 00:52:29,513
>> THAT'S WITH LABOR, SO A GOOD
939
00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:29,813
DEAL.
940
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:30,714
>> IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?
941
00:52:30,848 --> 00:52:32,483
>> IF YOU WANT A SECOND OPINION,
942
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:32,783
FINE.
943
00:52:33,183 --> 00:52:34,284
OUR CHIEF MECHANIC, HE CAN WALK
944
00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:35,386
YOU THROUGH IT.
945
00:52:35,386 --> 00:52:35,919
NIGEL, GET IN HERE.
946
00:52:35,919 --> 00:52:36,286
>> NIGEL!
947
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:43,494
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
948
00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:44,762
>> ARE YOU THE PEOPLE WITH THAT
949
00:52:44,762 --> 00:52:45,496
BLASTED RARVE 4?
950
00:52:45,496 --> 00:52:46,230
>> YEP, THAT'S THEM.
951
00:52:46,230 --> 00:52:51,435
>> WELL, LISTEN.
952
00:52:51,435 --> 00:52:52,136
THE GYPSY WHIPSIES AND DANGLY
953
00:52:52,136 --> 00:52:52,870
DOOGLY AND THE SPIGGLY WIGGLY'S
954
00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:55,172
GONE CRUMPET.
955
00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:58,409
THE WHOLE CAR IS KNACKERED.
956
00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:08,886
IT'S MAKING A SOUND LIKE --
957
00:53:08,886 --> 00:53:09,319
JAAA-HOO-YAA.
958
00:53:09,453 --> 00:53:10,020
>> I TRIED TO TELL THEM.
959
00:53:10,154 --> 00:53:12,790
THE CAR, WHEN WE PUT IT IN GEAR,
960
00:53:12,790 --> 00:53:18,662
MAKING A SOUND LIKE
961
00:53:18,662 --> 00:53:19,096
YAA-HOO-FOOO!
962
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:20,698
>> PLUS THE STEERING WHEEL'S ON
963
00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:22,099
THE WRONG BLOODY SIDE.
964
00:53:22,099 --> 00:53:22,499
[ LAUGHTER ]
965
00:53:22,499 --> 00:53:25,702
>> RIGHT.
966
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:26,837
I UNDERSTAND.
967
00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:27,504
I JUST DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN
968
00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:31,675
AFFORD
969
00:53:31,675 --> 00:53:34,678
4,100 700,000.
970
00:53:34,678 --> 00:53:35,546
>> DO YOU HAVE PAYMENT PLANS?
971
00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:36,480
>> YEAH, BASICALLY THE PLAN IS
972
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:40,584
THAT YOU PAY ALL THE MONEY NOW.
973
00:53:40,584 --> 00:53:42,486
>> OR YOU CAN PAY IN ASS.
974
00:53:42,486 --> 00:53:46,523
[ LAUGHTER ]
975
00:53:46,523 --> 00:53:52,596
>> WHAT?
976
00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:56,266
[ LAUGHTER ]
977
00:53:56,266 --> 00:53:57,468
>> YOU CAN PAY IN ASS.
978
00:53:57,468 --> 00:54:01,238
[ LAUGHTER ]
979
00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:03,107
>> YOU.
980
00:54:03,107 --> 00:54:04,708
YOU, GUY.
981
00:54:04,708 --> 00:54:06,176
YOU CAN BEND OVER AND PAY IN
982
00:54:06,176 --> 00:54:07,010
ASS.
983
00:54:07,010 --> 00:54:07,744
IT'S UP TO YOU.
984
00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:09,513
>> UM -- OKAY.
985
00:54:09,513 --> 00:54:13,250
UH -- YEAH.
986
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:16,120
I -- I GUESS I'LL PAY IN ASS?
987
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:16,520
[ LAUGHTER ]
988
00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:18,088
IS THAT GOOD WITH YOU, HON?
989
00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:19,056
>> YEAH.
990
00:54:19,056 --> 00:54:20,891
I MEAN, WHATEVER YOU WANT, BABE.
991
00:54:20,891 --> 00:54:22,159
LIKE, I'LL JUST GO TO COSTCO AND
992
00:54:22,159 --> 00:54:22,559
WALK AROUND.
993
00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:24,061
[ LAUGHTER ]
994
00:54:24,061 --> 00:54:25,429
JUST TEXT ME WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
995
00:54:25,429 --> 00:54:28,432
>> OKAY.
996
00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:29,166
SO -- RIGHT NOW?
997
00:54:29,166 --> 00:54:30,167
>> YEAH, RIGHT NOW.
998
00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:30,534
>> YEAH.
999
00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:31,768
>> LET'S DO IT.
1000
00:54:41,645 --> 00:54:43,447
>>> ONCE AGAIN, PAUL McCARTNEY.
1001
00:54:43,447 --> 00:54:45,749
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
1002
00:54:45,749 --> 00:54:46,917
♪♪
1003
00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:52,356
♪♪
1004
00:54:52,356 --> 00:55:01,098
♪♪
1005
00:55:01,098 --> 00:55:10,607
♪♪
1006
00:55:10,607 --> 00:55:17,080
♪♪
1007
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:20,350
♪♪
1008
00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:23,320
♪ STUCK INSIDE
1009
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,824
THESE FOUR WALLS
1010
00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:33,564
SENT INSIDE FOREVER ♪
1011
00:55:33,564 --> 00:55:38,602
♪ NEVER SEEING NO ONE
1012
00:55:38,602 --> 00:55:47,578
NICE AGAIN ♪
1013
00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:55,586
♪ LIKE YOU MAMA
1014
00:55:55,586 --> 00:55:57,821
YOU MAMA
1015
00:55:57,821 --> 00:56:04,328
YOU ♪
1016
00:56:04,328 --> 00:56:06,864
♪♪
1017
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:15,372
♪♪
1018
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:23,080
♪♪
1019
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:26,350
♪♪
1020
00:56:26,350 --> 00:56:31,088
♪♪
1021
00:56:31,088 --> 00:56:33,123
♪ IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE
1022
00:56:33,123 --> 00:56:34,825
THOUGHT OF GIVING
1023
00:56:34,825 --> 00:56:37,327
IT ALL AWAY
1024
00:56:37,327 --> 00:56:39,830
TO A REGISTERED CHARITY ♪
1025
00:56:39,830 --> 00:56:41,331
♪ ALL I NEED IS A PINT A DAY
1026
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:43,834
IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE
1027
00:56:43,834 --> 00:56:49,072
IF WE EVER GET OUT OF HERE ♪
1028
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:50,340
♪♪
1029
00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:55,579
♪♪
1030
00:56:55,579 --> 00:57:05,856
♪♪
1031
00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:07,591
♪ WELL THE RAIN EXPLODED
1032
00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:10,360
WITH A MIGHTY CRASH
1033
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:14,331
AS WE FELL INTO THE SUN ♪
1034
00:57:14,331 --> 00:57:16,600
♪ AND THE FIRST ONE SAID
1035
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:18,835
TO THE SECOND ONE THERE
1036
00:57:18,835 --> 00:57:23,106
I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN ♪
1037
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:27,344
♪ BAND ON THE RUN
1038
00:57:27,344 --> 00:57:31,348
BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1039
00:57:31,348 --> 00:57:32,849
♪ AND THE JAILER MAN
1040
00:57:32,849 --> 00:57:34,351
AND SAILOR SAM
1041
00:57:34,351 --> 00:57:40,357
WERE SEARCHING EVERYONE
1042
00:57:40,357 --> 00:57:43,093
FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1043
00:57:43,093 --> 00:57:47,097
♪ FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN
1044
00:57:47,097 --> 00:57:51,101
BAND ON THE RUN
1045
00:57:51,101 --> 00:57:54,338
BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1046
00:57:54,338 --> 00:57:56,340
♪ WELL THE UNDERTAKER
1047
00:57:56,340 --> 00:57:57,808
DREW A HEAVY SIGH
1048
00:57:57,808 --> 00:57:59,343
SEEING NO ONE ELSE
1049
00:57:59,343 --> 00:58:02,579
HAD COME ♪
1050
00:58:02,579 --> 00:58:03,847
♪ AND A BELL WAS RINGING
1051
00:58:03,847 --> 00:58:07,084
IN THE VILLAGE SQUARE
1052
00:58:07,084 --> 00:58:10,354
FOR THE RABBITS ON THE RUN ♪
1053
00:58:10,354 --> 00:58:14,358
♪ BAND ON THE RUN
1054
00:58:14,358 --> 00:58:19,863
BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1055
00:58:19,863 --> 00:58:20,831
♪ AND THE JAILER MAN
1056
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:22,099
AND SAILOR SAM
1057
00:58:22,099 --> 00:58:26,837
WERE SEARCHING EVERYONE ♪
1058
00:58:26,837 --> 00:58:30,574
♪ FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN
1059
00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:36,613
BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1060
00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:37,080
♪♪
1061
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:49,826
♪♪
1062
00:58:49,826 --> 00:58:50,160
♪♪
1063
00:58:50,460 --> 00:58:52,095
♪ YEAH THE BAND ON THE RUN
1064
00:58:52,095 --> 00:58:58,101
BAND ON THE RUN
1065
00:58:58,101 --> 00:58:58,568
BAND ON THE RUN
1066
00:58:58,635 --> 00:59:06,343
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH ♪
1067
00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:07,344
♪ BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1068
00:59:07,344 --> 00:59:08,612
♪ WELL THE NIGHT WAS FALLING
1069
00:59:08,612 --> 00:59:09,613
AS THE DESERT WORLD
1070
00:59:09,613 --> 00:59:17,087
BEGAN TO SETTLE DOWN ♪
1071
00:59:17,087 --> 00:59:20,857
♪ IN THE TOWN
1072
00:59:20,857 --> 00:59:21,625
THEY'RE SEARCHING
1073
00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:22,592
FOR US EVERYWHERE
1074
00:59:22,592 --> 00:59:23,593
BUT WE NEVER WILL BE FOUND ♪
1075
00:59:23,593 --> 00:59:24,828
♪ BAND ON THE RUN
1076
00:59:24,828 --> 00:59:33,570
BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1077
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,072
♪ AND THE COUNTY JUDGE
1078
00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:36,339
WHO HELD A GRUDGE
1079
00:59:36,339 --> 00:59:39,576
WILL SEARCH FOREVERMORE
1080
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:43,080
FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1081
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:52,556
♪ THE BAND ON THE RUN
1082
00:59:52,556 --> 00:59:57,060
BAND ON THE RUN
1083
00:59:57,060 --> 00:59:57,828
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
1084
00:59:57,828 --> 00:59:58,562
BAND ON THE RUN ♪
1085
00:59:58,562 --> 00:59:59,863
♪♪
1086
00:59:59,863 --> 01:00:09,372
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
1087
01:00:23,987 --> 01:00:26,189
I'm excited
for you to meet my family.
1088
01:00:26,189 --> 01:00:29,659
Well, hi. Excited? I'm
your boyfriend, Chris. Stop.
1089
01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:29,926
Funny.
1090
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,328
You guys are so much
more attractive
1091
01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:35,565
than guys who actually look
good enough money. Wait, what?
1092
01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,200
Mom? Dad! We're here.
1093
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:41,972
Oh, my gosh,
my little angel and her new man.
1094
01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:44,708
Oh, Chris,
I've heard so much about you.
1095
01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:46,042
I feel like I'm
meeting a celebrity.
1096
01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:48,545
Oh, well, the feeling is mutual.
Here, let me grab your coat.
1097
01:00:48,545 --> 01:00:49,212
Oh. Thank you.
1098
01:00:49,212 --> 01:00:50,447
Bring that up over here.
1099
01:00:50,447 --> 01:00:55,719
Oh, Oh,
1100
01:00:55,719 --> 01:00:58,989
sorry. Sorry. Do you,
Do I know what?
1101
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,590
Do you know that you're,
1102
01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:04,294
Oh, what my famous duck sauce
pizza is ready.
1103
01:01:04,294 --> 01:01:09,232
Let me just, turn the oven off
real quick. All right?
1104
01:01:09,232 --> 01:01:10,367
Hey, babe, are you okay?
1105
01:01:10,367 --> 01:01:12,569
You just kind of froze up
back there,
1106
01:01:12,569 --> 01:01:14,104
I mean, yeah,
did you not see that?
1107
01:01:14,104 --> 01:01:15,138
That was crazy.
1108
01:01:15,138 --> 01:01:15,639
See what?
1109
01:01:16,306 --> 01:01:18,241
That you're acting really
nervous in front of my cool dad.
1110
01:01:18,241 --> 01:01:19,743
Hey, just be yourself, okay?
1111
01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:26,149
You know, Chris,
you look different in person.
1112
01:01:26,149 --> 01:01:26,983
Oops.
1113
01:01:26,983 --> 01:01:31,254
My dang shoes are untied.
1114
01:01:31,254 --> 01:01:33,156
Yeah.
1115
01:01:33,156 --> 01:01:33,890
Yeah.
1116
01:01:34,291 --> 01:01:36,726
I actually look I look different
because I got a haircut.
1117
01:01:36,726 --> 01:01:39,930
Sorry. I mean, haircut. Haircut.
1118
01:01:39,930 --> 01:01:42,065
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
1119
01:01:42,065 --> 01:01:44,868
I can't believe I had to go into
work on a weekend.
1120
01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:49,206
Did I lock the car?
Hold on. Hi, mom.
1121
01:01:49,206 --> 01:01:54,511
Oh. Hi, dad. Hi. Hi, Janine.
Thanks so much for having us.
1122
01:01:54,511 --> 01:01:57,747
I mean, I'm having us. Whoa.
What is it?
1123
01:01:57,747 --> 01:01:59,316
Is it chilly in here?
1124
01:01:59,316 --> 01:02:03,820
I gotta close down these windows
a bit drafty, all on
1125
01:02:03,820 --> 01:02:04,888
windows. Stuck.
1126
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:07,991
Honey, can you help me?
Yeah, I'll get it, honey.
1127
01:02:07,991 --> 01:02:13,697
Go. Hey, hey, get the damn thing
stuck.
1128
01:02:13,697 --> 01:02:15,665
Hey, Chris. You're a
you're a strong champion.
1129
01:02:15,665 --> 01:02:18,501
You can squeeze in here and help
me. Okay, good.
1130
01:02:18,501 --> 01:02:22,305
You know, I think I should just
keep facing away from you guys.
1131
01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:26,810
Don't don't be rude,
all right? Buddy? Yeah. Me. Just
1132
01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:29,379
get right in here.
1133
01:02:29,379 --> 01:02:32,983
Come on in three. Oh, my back.
1134
01:02:32,983 --> 01:02:35,285
I need you need me to crack
your back. I'll be great.
1135
01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:39,489
Okay. Ready?
Would you mind? 321000.
1136
01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,957
You know, honey,
I think you're too small.
1137
01:02:40,957 --> 01:02:43,860
Chris, would you mind?
Oh. Asking me?
1138
01:02:43,860 --> 01:02:47,497
Yeah. Okay. I just get. No,
I'll get in there. Yeah, yeah.
1139
01:02:47,497 --> 01:02:50,700
One, two three. Oh, yeah. Oh.
1140
01:02:50,700 --> 01:02:53,136
Thanks, I needed it.
Get it cracked from behind.
1141
01:02:53,136 --> 01:02:55,572
Okay,
well, don't say it like that.
1142
01:02:55,572 --> 01:02:58,441
Where are my manners? Chris,
can I get you a drink?
1143
01:02:58,441 --> 01:02:59,209
Oh, you know what?
1144
01:02:59,576 --> 01:03:03,213
Just a ass of water. Sorry, ass.
Ass. Sorry, but, sorry.
1145
01:03:03,213 --> 01:03:05,615
Just a big old bare ass booty
water glass.
1146
01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,451
I'll take a glass.
I'll take a glass. Water. Thank.
1147
01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,754
Okay. Coming right up.
Yeah. Okay.
1148
01:03:10,754 --> 01:03:13,323
Get a hold
of yourself, please. How?
1149
01:03:15,759 --> 01:03:16,226
Five.
1150
01:03:16,826 --> 01:03:20,063
Five. Five. I have an
announcement to make that big.
1151
01:03:20,063 --> 01:03:22,132
Says. Hey.
1152
01:03:22,132 --> 01:03:23,800
Whoa. What's up, my brown?
1153
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,136
Great. How you doing,
man? Hey, question.
1154
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:27,337
Do you want to try
a little bit of this?
1155
01:03:27,337 --> 01:03:30,006
I got Bella Bella sausage on it.
1156
01:03:30,006 --> 01:03:31,441
Come on, try a little bit. Dude.
1157
01:03:31,441 --> 01:03:34,444
Just put extra sausage
just for you.
1158
01:03:34,444 --> 01:03:37,514
You know, I'm actually really
not that horny. Hungry? I'm not.
1159
01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:41,151
I'm not hungry. Oh,
this is such a perfect moment.
1160
01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:42,786
Let me get a picture.
1161
01:03:42,786 --> 01:03:47,857
Oh, hold on,
I'm taking a picture. Oh my God.
1162
01:03:47,857 --> 01:03:48,658
Oh, here we go.
1163
01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:53,530
Everybody say cheese. She's.
1164
01:04:04,207 --> 01:04:07,711
>>> THANKS TO EVERYBODY.
1165
01:04:07,711 --> 01:04:15,251
THANK FOTS PAUL McCARTNEY!
1166
01:04:15,251 --> 01:04:17,287
AZIZ ASHARI!
1167
01:04:17,287 --> 01:04:18,455
MOLLY SHANNON!
1168
01:04:18,455 --> 01:04:19,222
THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE!
1169
01:04:19,222 --> 01:04:28,698
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
1170
01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:32,702
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
1171
01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:35,605
>> HOLD IT.
1172
01:04:35,605 --> 01:04:50,487
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
1173
01:04:50,487 --> 01:04:50,820
♪♪
1174
01:04:50,820 --> 01:04:51,154
♪♪
1175
01:04:51,154 --> 01:05:02,465
♪♪
1176
01:05:02,465 --> 01:05:07,737
♪♪
1177
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:10,039
♪ YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE
1178
01:05:10,039 --> 01:05:10,607
FOREVER ♪
1179
01:05:10,673 --> 01:05:11,307
♪ ONE THAT WILL NEVER FADE
1180
01:05:11,307 --> 01:05:14,110
AWAY ♪
1181
01:05:14,110 --> 01:05:14,878
♪ I WANT TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR
1182
01:05:14,878 --> 01:05:26,055
PROBLEM ♪
1183
01:05:26,055 --> 01:05:28,792
♪ COMING UP COMING UP OH YEAH ♪
1184
01:05:28,792 --> 01:05:29,058
♪
1185
01:05:29,459 --> 01:05:32,562
♪ COMING UP LIKE A FLOWER ♪
1186
01:05:32,562 --> 01:05:46,476
♪ COMING UP OH YEAH ♪
1187
01:05:46,476 --> 01:05:48,578
♪ YOU WANT A FRIEND YOU CAN RELY
1188
01:05:48,578 --> 01:05:48,945
ON ♪
1189
01:05:49,312 --> 01:05:53,016
♪ ONE WHO WILL NEVER FADE AWAY ♪
1190
01:05:53,016 --> 01:05:55,385
♪ AND IF YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR AN
1191
01:05:55,385 --> 01:05:55,785
ANSWER ♪
1192
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:59,789
♪ STICK AROUND I SAY ♪
1193
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:07,797
♪ IT'S COMING UP IT'S COMING
1194
01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:08,131
UP ♪
1195
01:06:08,198 --> 01:06:09,732
♪ OH YEAH ♪
1196
01:06:09,732 --> 01:06:13,503
♪ IT'S COMING UP LIKE A FLOWER
1197
01:06:13,503 --> 01:06:19,576
COMING UP OH YEAH ♪
1198
01:06:19,576 --> 01:06:19,909
♪♪
1199
01:06:19,909 --> 01:06:29,619
♪♪
1200
01:06:29,619 --> 01:06:29,953
♪♪
1201
01:06:29,953 --> 01:06:40,630
♪♪
1202
01:06:40,630 --> 01:06:43,500
♪ YOU WANT SOME PEACE AND
1203
01:06:43,500 --> 01:06:44,000
UNDERSTANDING ♪
1204
01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:47,303
♪ SO EVERYBODY CAN BE FREE ♪
1205
01:06:47,303 --> 01:06:47,971
♪ I KNOW THAT WE CAN GET
1206
01:06:47,971 --> 01:06:53,309
TOGETHER ♪
1207
01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:55,678
♪ WE CAN TAKE IT ENDLESSLY ♪
1208
01:06:55,678 --> 01:07:02,418
♪ COMING UP IT'S COMING UP ♪
1209
01:07:02,418 --> 01:07:06,089
♪ OH YEAH IT'S COMING UP ON THE
1210
01:07:06,089 --> 01:07:06,456
HOUR ♪
1211
01:07:06,723 --> 01:07:08,725
♪ IT'S COMING UP YEAH YEAH
1212
01:07:08,725 --> 01:07:29,812
YEAH ♪
1213
01:07:29,812 --> 01:08:33,676
♪♪
83867
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