All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S06E11

Woman:
AT THIS POINT, I'M JUST KILLING
MYSELF SLOWLY, DAY BY DAY.

**

[ BOTH GRUNTING ]

Woman: MY LIFE IS WASTING AWAY,
AND I HATE IT.

Woman:
I TRIED TO CHANGE, BUT SOMETHING
ALWAYS KNOCKS ME DOWN.

**

Man: MY LIFE, IT'S LIKE
A LIVING DEATH SENTENCE.

UGH! OOH.

OW! [BLEEP]

THIS IS NO LIFE
FOR ANYONE.

**

Woman:
OH, JUST PRAY FOR ME.

Woman: AAH!
DON'T HURT MY LEG!

-SIT DOWN RIGHT THERE.
-WAIT.

YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD.

ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

**

WAIT.
JUST LET ME GO FOR A MINUTE.

I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM
FALLING ON THE [BLEEP] FLOOR.

OW! OW, MY LEG!

-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

**

Renee: WHEN YOU'RE STANDING
ON THE GROUND,

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS SEE
THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN.

BUT IF YOU KEEP CLIMBING,
YOU WILL REACH IT.

**

**

[ BED CREAKING ]

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,

I KNOW I MADE IT
THROUGH ANOTHER NIGHT,

BECAUSE THE PAIN IS THERE TO
REMIND ME THAT I'M STILL ALIVE.

[ SIGHS ]

GETTING OUT OF BED
FOR ME IS VERY PAINFUL.

FROM MY BACK TO MY LEGS,

IT'S JUST PAIN
THAT I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE.

AND EVERY DAY, IT GETS HARDER
TO MOVE AND HARDER TO BREATHE.

**

I DREAD WHEN I HAVE
TO JUST EVEN TAKE A SHOWER

BECAUSE I KNOW I GOT TO STAND UP
AND WALK, AND IT'S JUST HARD.

I CAN'T STAND UP
FOR OVER FIVE MINUTES.

I BREAK OUT INTO A SWEAT,
AND MY LOWER BACK FEELS LIKE

THERE'S A HOT KNIFE STICKING ME.

**

EVERY STEP IS PAINFUL.

**

AND I'M SCARED.

I'M ALWAYS SCARED
THAT I'M GONNA FALL.

BUT I HAVE TO DO IT
BECAUSE BEING A BIGGER PERSON,

YOU ALWAYS WORRY
ABOUT YOUR HYGIENE

AND KEEPING CLEAN AND NOT
SMELLING AND EVERYTHING.

**

AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE HELP
FROM MY DAUGHTER, MONIQUE,

I DON'T KNOW
HOW I WOULD SURVIVE.

**

MY KIDS DO BASICALLY
EVERYTHING FOR ME.

Monique: IT'S HARD TO BE
A CARETAKER FOR MY MOM,

BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT.

SHE NEEDS US, SO WE TRY
TO HELP HER AS MUCH AS WE CAN.

**

Renee: IT'S VERY HUMILIATING FOR
ME TO HAVE TO ASK MY DAUGHTER

TO HELP ME IN THE SHOWER,

BECAUSE I REMEMBER BATHING HER
WHEN SHE WAS A BABY.

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO HELP BATHE ME,

BUT THERE'S JUST SOME SPOTS
THAT I CAN'T REACH ANYMORE.

MY KIDS WOULD NEVER SHOW IT, BUT
I KNOW MY WEIGHT AFFECTS THEM,

BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO PUT OFF
SOME OF THE THINGS

THAT THEY'RE DOING JUST TO MAKE
SURE MY NEEDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF.

I WORRY ABOUT LOSING THE ABILITY

TO BE ABLE
TO CLEAN MYSELF AT ALL

OR KEEPING UP
WHAT HYGIENE THAT I HAVE.

THAT'S A FEAR OF MINE.

**

I RESENT THE THINGS
I HAVE TO DO FOR MY MOM

BECAUSE THE MOM'S SUPPOSED
TO ALWAYS DO FOR YOU,

AND I TAKE CARE OF MY MOM MORE
THAN MY MOM TAKES CARE OF ME.

OH!

OKAY.

**

Renee:
BUT I NEED THEM.

**

BECAUSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING
FOR MYSELF.

**

IF I HAD TO DESCRIBE THE LIFE
THAT I'M LIVING RIGHT NOW...

I FEEL WORTHLESS.

I FEEL LIKE I'M A PRISONER
IN MY OWN BODY,

AND I KNOW
I'M NOT REALLY LIVING.

I'M JUST EXISTING.

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT
I WOULD BE LIKE THIS.

**

ALL MY LIFE, I FELT LIKE
I WAS THE OUTCAST IN THE FAMILY

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I HAD A DIFFERENT FATHER

THAN MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

MY MOM HAD AN AFFAIR
WITH HER BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND,

AND I BECAME A PRODUCT
OF THAT AFFAIR.

I THINK SHE WAS EMBARRASSED AND
ASHAMED OF WHAT SHE HAD DONE,

AND SHE TOOK ALL THAT OUT ON ME.

I NEVER FELT LIKE
MY MOM LOVED ME,

EVEN TO THIS DAY.

I'M 53 YEARS OLD, AND I CAN'T
RECALL A TIME OF EVER FEELING

LIKE MY MOM EVER LOVED ME.

WHEN I WAS 5, MY GRANDMOTHER
SAW HOW UNHAPPY I WAS,

AND SHE WOULD TRY TO
USE FOOD TO COMFORT ME.

ONE OF MY BEST MEMORIES AS A KID
IS BEING WITH MY GRANDMA.

WHEN WE WOULD GO TO BED
AT NIGHT, WE WOULD LAY IN BED

AND READ AND EAT GINGER SNAPS.

IT WAS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS
THAT MADE ME HAPPY,

BUT THINGS
WENT DOWNHILL FROM THERE.

AND WHEN I WAS 9,
MY STEPDAD STARTED MOLESTING ME.

MY MOM KNEW EVERYTHING
THAT WAS GOING ON.

THERE WAS TIMES WHEN I WOULD
SEE HER, AND SHE WAS WATCHING,

SO I KNOW SHE KNEW, BUT SHE
DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH TO STOP IT.

I GUESS SHE JUST DIDN'T
CARE ENOUGH ABOUT ME,

AND IT HURT ME AS A CHILD

WHEN I FELT LIKE MY MOM
WOULDN'T PROTECT ME.

I HAD NOBODY TO TALK TO,
NOWHERE TO TURN,

SO I TURNED TO FOOD
TO ESCAPE THE PAIN.

I WAS GAINING WEIGHT,
AND BY THE TIME I WAS 11,

I WEIGHED ALMOST 200 POUNDS.

ALL THE KIDS WOULD LAUGH AND
TEASE AT ME BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I WAS THE BIGGEST ONE.

THEY ALWAYS PICKED ON ME.

SCHOOL WAS TERRIBLE, BUT BEING
AT HOME WAS A NIGHTMARE,

BECAUSE THE MOLESTATION
DIDN'T STOP

UNTIL I WAS 14,
WHEN MY STEPDAD LEFT MY MOM.

AND BY THAT TIME, MY WEIGHT
WAS UP TO 280 POUNDS.

WHEN I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH,
I LOVED MY SIZE THEN.

BECAUSE I WAS CURVY,

I STARTED GETTING A LOT
OF ATTENTION FROM BOYS.

AND WHEN I WAS 15,
I FOUND OUT

THAT I WAS PREGNANT
WITH MY FIRST CHILD,

SO I ENDED UP DROPPING OUT OF
HIGH SCHOOL TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER.

I WAS WEIGHING, LIKE,
OVER 300 POUNDS,

AND THE DOCTORS SAID
THAT I WAS GROSSLY OBESE,

BUT I DIDN'T LET IT AFFECT ME

BECAUSE I BLAMED IT
ON BEING PREGNANT.

**

AFTER OUR DAUGHTER WAS BORN,
HER FATHER AND I GOT MARRIED.

THINGS WERE GOOD FOR A WHILE,

BUT AFTER I HAD OUR SECOND
CHILD, HE STARTED ABUSING ME.

THE ABUSE WAS AWFUL.

I MEAN, THERE WAS TIMES WHEN I
HAD BLACK EYES AND BUSTED LIPS,

AND ONE TIME, HE BROKE MY NOSE

SO SEVERELY THAT I HAD TO HAVE
AN OPERATION ON IT.

Monique: THINGS WAS VERY HARD
FOR MY FAMILY GROWING UP.

YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE
YOUR MOM BEING HURT,

SO YOU GET USED TO IT,
BUT IT'S NEVER OKAY.

IT WAS DEVASTATING BEING ABUSED,
BUT I THINK

I WAS SORT OF KIND OF
USED TO BEING ABUSED

BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING THAT I'VE
BEEN THROUGH IN MY CHILDHOOD.

I DEALT WITH THE ABUSE
THE SAME WAY

I DID WHEN I WAS A KID --
WITH FOOD.

AND MY WEIGHT KEPT GOING UP.

BY THE TIME I WAS IN MY MID-20s,
I WAS ALMOST 400 POUNDS.

FINALLY, ME AND MY HUSBAND
GOT DIVORCED.

I HAD FOUR CHILDREN
BY MY FIRST HUSBAND.

AFTER THAT, I HAD
TWO MORE BOYFRIENDS,

AND I HAD A CHILD BY EACH ONE.

AND THE MORE I HAD CHILDREN,
THE HIGHER MY WEIGHT GOT.

BY THE TIME I WAS PREGNANT
WITH MY SIXTH CHILD,

I WAS OVER 400 POUNDS.

I WORKED WHATEVER JOBS
I COULD TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY.

MOST OF THE JOBS I COULD FIND
WERE IN FACTORIES,

AND THAT WAS DIFFICULT
BEING AS BIG AS I WAS.

IT WAS ALL THAT I COULD DO
TO GET THE JOB DONE

SO THAT I COULD PROVIDE
FOR THEM.

WHEN I WAS YOUNG,
SHE WORKED HARD.

SHE MADE SURE WE ATE,
HAD CLOTHES, WENT TO SCHOOL.

SHE WAS A DEVOTED MOTHER.

I WAS EATING FAST FOOD
ALL THE TIME, AND BY THE TIME

I WAS IN MY MID-30s,

I WEIGHED OVER 450 POUNDS.

AND THEN I GOT INJURED
IN A CAR ACCIDENT

WHILE I WAS WORKING
IN THE SEWING FACTORY.

AND IT ENDED UP
INJURING MY BACK SO BAD

THAT I COULDN'T REALLY SIT UP.

SO THERE WENT THAT JOB.

I NEEDED A WAY TO MAKE MONEY,

AND THAT'S WHEN
I DISCOVERED THE INTERNET.

NOT ONLY DID I FIND OUT
THAT THERE WAS MEN OUT THERE

THAT LIKED BIG WOMEN,

BUT THERE WAS ALSO MEN OUT THERE
THAT LOVED TO WATCH WOMEN EAT.

THEY'RE CALLED FEEDERS.

IN THE FEEDERISM WORLD,
THE FEEDER IS THE PERSON

THAT PROVIDES THE FOOD.

A FEEDEE IS SOMEONE
THAT WOULD EAT THE FOOD.

SO THEY WOULD PAY ME TO EAT
WHILE THEY WATCHED ONLINE,

AND AS A SINGLE MOM,

I FOUND A WAY
TO FEED MY CHILDREN

AND KEEP A ROOF OVER MY KIDS'
HEAD BY BEING A FEEDEE.

AND FEEDING LED ME
TO DISCOVER SQUASHING.

SQUASHING IS SOMETHING WHERE
SOMEBODY PAYS YOU TO SIT ON 'EM.

THEY WOULD WANT SOMEONE
TO SIT ON THEM

BECAUSE THAT WAS THEIR WAY
OF LOSING CONTROL.

BUT FOR ME, IT MEANT
I COULD SUPPORT MY FAMILY.

AND WHEN I WAS IN FEEDING
AND SQUASHING, AT FIRST,

IT WAS ALL FUN AND GAMES,

BECAUSE I WAS GETTING PAID
TO DO WHAT I LOVED BEST --

EATING GOOD FOOD.

BUT MY WEIGHT JUST GOT MORE
AND MORE OUT OF CONTROL.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 45,
I WAS OVER 500 POUNDS.

**

MY HEALTH STARTED TO FALL APART.

I WAS LIVING ALONE,

BUT I STARTED LOSING MY BALANCE
AND FALLING,

AND I WOULD HAVE TO CALL EMTs
TO HELP ME COME

AND GET UP OFF THE FLOOR.

AND I REALIZED THAT MY BODY
HAD GOTTEN SO BIG,

AND I WAS UNABLE
TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

SO IN MY EARLY 50s,

I HAD TO MOVE IN
WITH MY TWO OLDEST CHILDREN

TO HELP TAKE CARE OF ME.

NOW, I ALMOST NEVER
LEAVE THE HOUSE,

AND I'M BASICALLY
STUCK IN THIS BED.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF,

SO MY KIDS PROVIDE
ALL THE HELP THAT I NEED.

FROM HYGIENE TO COOKING,
THEY DO EVERYTHING FOR ME.

**

Monique: SHE DON'T REALLY
COME OUT OF HER ROOM,

SO EVERYTHING
HAS TO BE BROUGHT TO HER.

AND SHE'S NOT SATISFIED
UNLESS SHE'S EATING.

AND ME AND ALL MY SIBLINGS
PROBABLY ENABLE MY MOM

BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT
TO TELL HER NO.

BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN
TO WHAT YOUR MOM SAYS,

AND SHE'S HUNGRY, SO WE'LL
BRING WHATEVER SHE ASKS FOR.

**

**

HERE YOU GO, MOM.

OH, GOODNESS, THANK YOU.

PUT IT ON YOUR TABLE?

YES, PLEASE.

OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

YES.

**

FOOD HAS ALWAYS PLAYED
AN IMPORTANT PART IN MY LIFE,

BECAUSE IN THE SOUTH,
FOOD IS LOVE.

THIS LOOKS SO GOOD.

THANK YOU.

NEED ANYTHING ELSE?

NO, THAT'LL BE ALL
FOR NOW, THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE WELCOME.

**

Renee: WHEN I'M EATING, THE ONLY
THING I'M THINKING ABOUT

IS HOW GOOD EACH BITE TASTES,

AND WHEN CAN I GET ANOTHER ONE?

I THINK MY PORTIONS ARE SMALL,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE

WITH THE SIZE OF MY BODY,

YOU CAN TELL
THAT THEY'RE NOT AS SMALL

AS I TRICK MY MIND
INTO THINKING.

I EAT WHEN I'M HAPPY.

I EAT WHEN I'M SAD.

AND AFTER BEING WITH FEEDERS
FOR SO LONG,

MY BODY'S BECOME USED TO HAVING
AN ABUNDANCE OF FOOD.

IT'S LIKE I CAN'T STOP.

I GOT TO HAVE IT,
AND I GOT TO EAT IT,

AND I GOT TO EAT IT
TILL I CAN'T EAT ANYMORE.

BUT EVEN IF I TRY TO CUT BACK,

IT'S LIKE MY STOMACH
IS TELLING ME

THAT I NEED MORE,
AND IT'S HARD TO IGNORE IT.

**

BUT WHEN I FINISH A MEAL,
I FEEL VERY GUILTY

'CAUSE I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN'T
HAVE EATEN THAT MUCH,

BUT IT'S LIKE
I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

**

MY DAYS CONSIST OF WATCHING TV,

WAITING FOR ONE OF MY KIDS
TO COME BRING ME FOOD,

OR LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW
AT MY GRANDKIDS PLAY.

THAT'S BASICALLY IT.

HEY, BABIES!

[ GRUNTS ]

NIK, CAN YOU COME
OPEN MY WINDOW, PLEASE?

Lanika: MA'AM?

CAN YOU OPEN
MY WINDOW, PLEASE?

YES, MA'AM.

Lanika: IT HURTS TO SEE
MY MOTHER MISSING OUT ON LIFE,

'CAUSE I SEE HER PAIN.

IT'S WRITTEN ALL OVER HER FACE.

SHE DON'T DO NOTHING
SHE USED TO DO,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO

TO HELP HER
TO GAIN HERSELF BACK.

I HOPE IT DON'T RAIN
SO THEY CAN PLAY SOME MORE.

I LOOK AT HER EVERY DAY,
AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S...

-HEY, MAMAW!
-HEY, BABY!

-WATCH THIS, MAMAW!
-I'M LOOKING, I'M LOOKING.

Renee: IT'S HARD TO SEE
MY GRANDKIDS OUTSIDE.

I WISH I COULD JOIN THEM.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

I CAN'T GO NOWHERE.

I'M BASICALLY
JUST SHUT IN MY ROOM,

WATCHING THE WORLD
THROUGH THE WINDOW.

**

[ SIGHS ]

I GET SO LONELY AND BORED,

THE ONLY THING I HAVE
TO LOOK FORWARD TO IS EATING.

IF ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS
ISN'T FREE TO COOK FOR ME,

I CAN CALL MY SON, BRENT.

EVEN BEFORE HE BRINGS IT IN,

I CAN SMELL THAT DELICIOUS SCENT
OF FRIED FOOD.

THERE YOU GO.

OH, THANK YOU.
GOD, THAT SMELLS GOOD.

OH, GOODNESS.

Brent: I WORRY ABOUT MY MOM
ALL THE TIME, BUT EVERY DAY,

I JUST DO
WHAT SHE NEEDS ME TO DO.

I GO PICK UP FOOD MAYBE SIX,
SEVEN TIMES A WEEK.

IT GETS FRUSTRATING
'CAUSE I DONE LOST JOBS

BECAUSE OF HAVING TO BE THERE,
GIVING HER SUPPORT.

IT'S KIND OF DISCOURAGING.

**

Renee: I KNOW IT'S KEEPING ME
TRAPPED IN THIS BED,

BUT IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT BRINGS ME JOY,

SO I CAN'T STOP EATING.

AT THIS POINT,
I'M JUST KILLING MYSELF SLOWLY,

DAY BY DAY AND MINUTE BY MINUTE.

BUT I DON'T WANT
TO JUST WAIT ON DEATH.

I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE.

I KNOW MY CHILDREN
WORRY ABOUT ME DYING LIKE THIS,

AND I CARRY TREMENDOUS GUILT

KNOWING THAT I DEPEND
ON MY KIDS FOR EVERYTHING.

SOMETIMES I THINK
I'D RATHER BE DEAD

SO I COULD BE OUT OF THEIR WAY,

AND THEY COULD GO ON
AND LIVE THEIR LIFE

AND NOT HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT
LIFE WOULD END UP BEING.

[ SNIFFLES ] AND THIS IS NOT
WHAT I WANT LIFE TO BE.

I FEEL LIKE IF I DON'T CHANGE

[ SNIFFLES ] AND IF I DON'T
GET HELP, MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED,

AND I'M GONNA DIE LIKE THIS.

**

**

**

OW!

OW.

Renee: I'M GETTING READY
TO TRAVEL TO HOUSTON

TO MEET DR. NOWZARADAN
FOR THE FIRST TIME.

IT'S ONLY A 12-HOUR DRIVE,

SO WE'RE GONNA TRY TO DRIVE
STRAIGHT THERE WITHOUT STOPPING.

AND I'M A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS

BECAUSE THIS IS
A REALLY BIG STEP FOR ME.

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON A ROAD TRIP
IN A VERY LONG TIME.

I DON'T KNOW
IF HE'LL TAKE ME AS A PATIENT,

BUT I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

I NEED DR. NOWZARADAN'S HELP
TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

Brent: WE ALL READY
TO DO THIS OR WHAT?

BRENT,
CAN YOU GET ME MY WALKER?

YOU GONNA HOLD
THE FORT DOWN?

OH.

THE FIRST COUPLE STEPS
OF MY NEW JOURNEY.

THERE YOU GO.

OH!

I'M JUST READY TO GET TO HOUSTON
AND START A NEW LIFE.

MY DAUGHTER MONIQUE
IS GONNA DRIVE,

AND SHE'S BRINGING HER DAUGHTER
AND HER FIANCé, PAUL.

Renee:
WHOO! IT'S HOT OUT HERE.

Renee: I'M REALLY THANKFUL THAT
MY DAUGHTER'S DRIVING ME DOWN

TO SEE DR. NOW.

OW.

Renee: BUT I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE
TO RELY SO MUCH ON MY KIDS.

Renee:
OH. THANK YOU.

Renee: I HAVE NOT BEEN IN A CAR
FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR

IN A LONG, LONG TIME.

AND WHAT REALLY WORRIES ME
IS THAT MY BODY WILL GIVE UP

BEFORE WE EVEN GET THERE,

BECAUSE I GET SHORTNESS
OF BREATH VERY EASILY,

AND I HAVE ANXIETY.

SO THE IDEA OF ME
BEING UPRIGHT IN A CAR

FOR TWO DAYS
SCARES ME TO DEATH.

-ALL RIGHT.
-GIVE ME A HUG.

-I LOVE YOU.
-I LOVE YOU.

HOLD THE FORT DOWN.

-I WILL.
-I'LL SEE YOU SOON. I WILL.

OKAY.

Y'ALL BE CAREFUL.

ALWAYS.

ALL RIGHT.
SHUT ME IN.

HASTA LUEGO.

**

**

IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME
TO BE LEAVING MY FAMILY.

BUT IT WILL ONLY BE
FOR A FEW DAYS,

AND I KNOW I'M DOING IT
FOR THE GREATER GOOD

BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET HELP

AND GET SOMETHING DONE
ABOUT MY WEIGHT,

I KNOW I WON'T BE AROUND
MUCH LONGER.

OW, GOD.

I'M NOT DOING GOOD.

I COULDN'T EVEN GO 10 MILES
WITHOUT MY BODY SCREAMING.

**

IT'S LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE
I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY.

I'M JUST SCARED,
HOPING I CAN MAKE IT.

**

HOW YOU FEELING?
ARE YOU IN PAIN?

YES, I AM.

MY BACK IS KILLING ME.
MY LEG IS KILLING ME.

I CANNOT GET COMFORTABLE
AT ALL.

**

WE'VE ONLY BEEN ON THE ROAD
A COUPLE OF HOURS,

THEN MY BODY'S STARTING TO ACHE.

OW. OH!

AND WHEN I'M IN PAIN,
THE ONLY THING

THAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER
IS FOOD.

MY WHOLE LIFE, FOOD HAS ALWAYS
BEEN THERE TO COMFORT ME

WHEN I'M NOT FEELING GOOD.

AND RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANT
TO FEEL COMFORT.

**

STRETCH IT.

OH, GOSH!

OH, GOSH.

**

I'M HURTING PRETTY BAD,

JUST MY BACK, MY LEGS, MY NECK.

I KNEW THIS TRIP WAS GONNA BE
ROUGH ON MY BODY,

BUT I HAD NO IDEA
IT WOULD BE THIS BAD.

**

WHOO, THANK GOD.

OH!

JUST SIT MINE RIGHT HERE
ON MY LAP.

I CAN'T MOVE RIGHT NOW.

MY BODY HURTS TOO BAD.

THIS HAS BEEN A LONG DRIVE.

[ CAR ENGINE STARTS ]

AND I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE
EATING THIS,

ESPECIALLY SINCE
I'M GONNA SEE DR. NOW,

BUT IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER...

**

THIS IS, LIKE,
ONE OF THE LAST GOOD MEALS

I'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE
FOR A WHILE.

...SO I WANT TO ENJOY IT
WHILE I CAN.

I GUESS I COULD HAVE GOT
THE GRILLED CHICKEN, BUT...

OH.

OOH, I CAN'T EAT NO MORE.

I FEEL SO CRAMPED IN THIS CAR.

AT LEAST WHEN I'M STUCK
IN MY BEDROOM,

I'VE GOT SOME ROOM
TO MOVE AROUND.

AND I'M STARTING TO GET WORRIED
ABOUT THIS PAIN I'M FEELING

BECAUSE IT'S BUILDING MUCH MORE
THAN I'M USED TO.

OH!

I JUST HOPE IT'S NOT SERIOUS.

THE ONLY THING THAT I NEED
RIGHT NOW IS A BED.

OOH, BOY, I'M SO TIRED.

OW, GOD.

OW, OW.

WE MADE IT INTO TEXAS.

BUT I'VE BEEN FEELING WORSE
AND WORSE AS WE GO.

I FEEL LIKE IT'S GETTING HARD
TO CATCH MY BREATH,

AND THAT SCARES ME.

I HAVE TO STOP AND REST
FOR THE NIGHT.

WE HAVE TO GET UP EARLY
AND HIT THE ROAD

BECAUSE MY APPOINTMENT
WITH DR. NOW IS TOMORROW,

AND WE STILL HAVE ANOTHER
COUPLE HOURS TO GO.

GOT TO HELP MY LEG --
GET THIS LEG OUT.

**

OH, GOD.

OKAY, WAIT.

HERE.

OKAY, OKAY.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

PHEW!

HERE.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
GOD BLESS.

THAT'S WHY I GOT IT.

**

I WAS REALLY HOPING WE WOULD GET
ALL THE WAY TO HOUSTON TODAY.

BUT MY BODY
JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

AND I'M HOPING I'LL FEEL BETTER
IN THE MORNING.

**

OH. PHEW.

JESUS, THANK YOU, LORD.

THANK YOU, LORD JESUS.

[ BREATHES HEAVILY ]

**

I WAS REALLY HOPING I'D FEEL
BETTER AFTER GETTING SOME SLEEP,

BUT ACTUALLY I FEEL WORSE.

WE'RE SO CLOSE TO GETTING
TO HOUSTON AND TO SEE DR. NOW,

BUT I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO MAKE IT.

[ SOBS ]

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ME,

BUT I FEEL LIKE
I CAN'T BREATHE RIGHT.

I'M FEELING LIGHT-HEADED
AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

OH, GOD.

I WANT TO GET TO SEE A DOCTOR

THAT CAN PUT ME
SOME OXYGEN IN MY BODY!

[ SNIFFLES ]
I DON'T WANT TO DIE IN THIS CAR.

[ CRYING ]

Y'ALL NEED
TO CALL DR. NOW.

HELLO?

Dr. Nowzaradan: YES, RENEE.
THIS IS DR. NOWZARADAN.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?

HI, DR. NOWZARADAN.

I DON'T KNOW, I JUST FEEL LIKE
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH AIR,

AND I'M FEELING
LIGHT-HEADED.

ARE YOU ON ANY MEDICATION?
HAVE YOU TAKEN ANYTHING TODAY?

NO, I'M NOT
ON ANY MEDICATION.

I HAVEN'T TAKEN
ANYTHING TODAY.

ARE YOU IN YOUR CAR?

YES, I'M IN THE CAR.

I'M TRYING TO GET --
I'M TRYING TO GET TO HOUSTON.

I THINK WE'RE LIKE
30 MILES OUT.

I JUST FEEL LIKE
I NEED A BREATHING TREATMENT

OR SOMETHING TO HELP ME GET
SOME AIR IN ME, THAT'S WHAT --

I WILL SEND YOU THE ADDRESS,
AND YOU NEED TO GO TO THE E.R.

I'LL LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU'RE
COMING SO THEY CAN GET YOU IN

AND FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.

AND THEN I'LL BE THERE SHORTLY.

OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH,
DR. NOW.

ALL RIGHT.
GOODBYE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
BYE-BYE.

[ PANTING ]

Renee: HE SAID
GO TO ST. JOSEPH EMERGENCY ROOM.

I HOPE WE GET THERE SOON,

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE IT.

**

THERE IT IS, Y'ALL.

HOUSTON.

OH, MY GOD.

[ PANTS ] THAT'S IT,
SAID "EMERGENCY" UP THERE.

RIGHT HERE?

OKAY.

CAN YOU HAVE SOMEBODY BRING ME
A WHEELCHAIR HERE, SOME OXYGEN?

**

CAN I GET A WHEELCHAIR
OUT HERE?

**

OH!

ALL RIGHT.
SIT RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE.

PHEW!

OW.

OH, GOD.

EMT:
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

**

Renee: OH, MY GOD.

[ PANTING ]

YES, I'M HER DAUGHTER.

**

Renee:
I CAME TO HOUSTON TO SEE DR. NOW
AND TRY TO GET BETTER,

BUT NOW I'M SCARED
I WAITED TOO LONG TO GET HELP.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE
SO FAR FROM HOME.

WHAT IF ALL OF THIS
WAS FOR NOTHING?

**

**

**

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN!

HELLO.

HI, DR. NOW.

HI, RENEE.
GOOD TO MEET YOU.

ARE YOU FEELING OKAY NOW?

YES.

I HEARD YOU WERE NOT FEELING
WELL AFTER THAT LONG CAR RIDE.

JUST SITTING IN THE CAR
TOO LONG.

MY BODY IS JUST WORE OUT.

ALL RIGHT.

SO, YOU GOT SHORT OF BREATH
AND HAD SOME CRISIS, HUH?

YES. SO, IT WAS LIKE
SHORT OF BREATH

AND STARTED GETTING
LIGHT-HEADED,

SEEING BLACK AND GREEN SPOTS.

FELT LIKE
I WAS GONNA PASS OUT.

OKAY, WELL, I HAVE SOME
GOOD NEWS AND SOME BAD NEWS.

OKAY.

THE GOOD NEWS,
ACCORDING TO ALL YOUR TESTS,

THERE'S CURRENTLY NOTHING
IMMEDIATELY LIFE-THREATENING

GOING ON WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.

OKAY.

BUT THE BAD NEWS IS THAT YOUR
BODY IS IN EXTREMELY BAD SHAPE.

RIGHT.

SO IT'S A GOOD THING
THAT YOU'RE HERE

BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T HAVE
SURVIVED MUCH LONGER LIKE THIS.

RIGHT.

AND IF WE DON'T GET YOUR WEIGHT
DOWN IMMEDIATELY,

YOU WON'T SURVIVE
MUCH LONGER.

EVEN ONE MORE DAY ON THE ROAD

WOULD HAVE LIKELY PUSHED
YOUR BODY OVER THE LIMIT,

AND YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE SURVIVED.

OKAY.

IT IS WHY WE TRY TO GET
SOME MEDICAL TESTING DONE

BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

BUT YOU SKIPPED THAT
AND TOOK THIS RISK,

AND IT ALMOST KILLED YOU.

YES.

SO YOU'RE LUCKY
TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW.

I KNOW.
I KNOW THAT.

BUT WE HAVE YOU STABLE NOW,

AND WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
TO KEEP YOU THAT WAY.

OKAY.

TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
YOUR CURRENT EATING HABITS.

I EAT MOSTLY
DURING THE NIGHT.

I DON'T REALLY EAT, LIKE,
DURING THE DAYTIME.

MAYBE I MIGHT SNACK
A LITTLE BIT.

BUT MOSTLY MY PROBLEM IS, IS
I CAN'T REALLY SLEEP AT NIGHT.

I'M BORED, AND I EAT.

YOU AREN'T VERY MOBILE,
SO WHO FEEDS YOU?

I'VE BEEN LIVING
WITH MY CHILDREN OFF AND ON,

AND SO THEY'RE THE ONES THAT,
YOU KNOW, GET ME FOOD

AND, YOU KNOW,
BRING ME FOOD.

SO, YOU'VE CREATED
A DYNAMIC AT HOME

WHERE YOU MANIPULATE YOUR FAMILY
TO HELP TO KILL YOU.

NO, I THINK, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE THEY SEE THAT
I'M MISERABLE IN MY LIFE,

THE WAY MY LIFE IS.

I USED TO BE
A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY PERSON,

BUT FOR THE PAST YEAR OR SO,

IT'S JUST
EVERYTHING'S GONE DOWNHILL,

AND THEY KNOW FOOD
MAKES ME HAPPY.

AND I THINK THAT'S THEIR WAY OF
JUST TRYING TO KEEP ME HAPPY.

SO, JUST LIKE ALCOHOLIC
AND ALCOHOL MAKE YOU HAPPY,

GIVE THEM MORE ALCOHOL.

IS THAT WHAT
YOU'RE TELLING ME?

YOU HAVE A POINT.
YOU HAVE A POINT.

SO, THE FOOD IS
A LETHAL SUBSTANCE...

RIGHT.

...AND PEOPLE
THAT ARE PROVIDING YOU,

THEY'RE HELPING YOU
TO SHORTEN YOUR LIFE, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

BECAUSE YOU'RE IN
A VERY BAD STATE,

AND ANY NUMBER OF THINGS
CAN KILL YOU RIGHT NOW.

SO NOW WE NEED TO WORK
TO TRY TO SAVE YOUR LIFE,

AND THIS ISN'T
GOING TO BE EASY.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE

TO DO THIS.

DO YOU THINK
YOU CAN DO THAT?

I KNOW I CAN.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD.

I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE DIFFICULT,

BUT I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO, LIKE,
CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFESTYLE.

OKAY, SO YOU WANT
TO MAKE THE CHANGES?

I WANT TO MAKE THE CHANGES.

I'M GONNA MAKE THE CHANGES.

OKAY, YEAH, I HOPE SO.

BUT WE WILL GIVE YOU
A FIGHTING CHANCE.

RIGHT.

SO, I'VE ADMITTED YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL AND STARTING YOU

ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY,
HIGH-PROTEIN,

LOW-CARB DIET.

OKAY.

AND SO THAT WE CAN GET
YOUR WEIGHT DOWN IMMEDIATELY.

RIGHT.

AND WE ALSO ARE GOING TO GET
PHYSICAL THERAPY

TO WORK WITH YOU DAILY

SO THAT WE CAN GET YOU
WALKING MORE,

BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY CLOSE
TO BEING IMMOBILE,

AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NO REASON FOR THAT.

RIGHT.

AND IF WE LET THAT HAPPEN,
THAT MAY BE IT FOR YOU.

RIGHT.

IN FACT, LET'S GET A LITTLE
EXERCISING RIGHT NOW

AND GET YOU UP
TO CHECK YOUR WEIGHT.

OKAY.

OW.

I SURE DO,
'CAUSE YOU KNOW MY LEGS

AIN'T GONNA MAKE IT
ON ITS OWN RIGHT NOW.

OH. PHEW.

OH, MY GOD.
MY LEGS HURT SO BAD.

-PHEW.
-YOU GOT IT?

OH, GOD.

OKAY, LET ME GO.

OKAY, YOU ARE 631 POUNDS.

OH, MY GOD.

OKAY?

PHEW.

OH, THAT'S GOT TO CHANGE.

OH, MY GOD.
GET ME.

NO, NO, NO.
MY LEGS IS GONNA HANG ME UP.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH!

OH, GOD.

PHEW.

ALL RIGHT, RENEE.
EVERYTHING CHANGES NOW.

YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
-OKEYDOKE.

THANK YOU, DR. NOW.

OKAY.

WE'LL RUN SOME MORE TESTS,
AND I'LL CHECK ON YOU SOON.

OKAY.

AND YOUR EXERCISE STARTS
TOMORROW MORNING.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU ALL LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: RENEE IS LUCKY
TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW.

HER BODY SUFFERED
A SEVERE AMOUNT

OF DETERIORATION
OVER THE YEARS,

AND IT IS CLOSE TO ITS LIMIT,

SO IT'S FAR TOO RISKY
TO SEND HER HOME RIGHT NOW.

BUT WE HAVE A LONG ROAD AHEAD
WITH RENEE,

NOT JUST BECAUSE OF HER
POOR PHYSICAL CONDITION,

BUT HER FAMILY SEEMS TO BE
A BIT DISCONNECTED,

AND THEY DON'T SEEM
TO BE TOO CONCERNED

ABOUT THE FACT
THAT SHE'S CLOSE TO DEATH.

SO AS MUCH AS THEY LOVE HER,
SHE'S MORE OF A BURDEN TO THEM.

SO WE WILL HAVE TO ADDRESS THAT.

BUT OUR PRIORITY NEEDS TO BE
TO GET HER WEIGHT DOWN

IMMEDIATELY TO REDUCE
THE STRAIN ON HER BODY

AND GIVE HER A FIGHTING CHANCE
TO SURVIVE AND DO THIS.

**

WE HAVE HAD RENEE IN THE
HOSPITAL FOR ABOUT A MONTH,

AND OVERALL, SHE HAS DONE WELL.

HER FAMILY ALMOST IMMEDIATELY
WENT BACK HOME,

AND SO SHE HAS BEEN THERE ALONE,

AND THERE IS NO WAY
SHE COULD CHEAT ON HER DIET.

WE HAVE TREATED HER FOR A NUMBER
OF ISSUES THAT WE DISCOVERED

WHILE SHE WAS IN HERE,

SUCH AS HIGH-BLOOD PRESSURE,

KIDNEY DYSFUNCTION,
AND ENLARGED HEART,

AND THAT IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING.

BUT THE BIGGEST ISSUE
OVER THE LAST MONTH

WAS HER RESISTANCE
TO EXERCISING.

SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO GET UP MUCH,
SO SHE STILL NEEDS

TO MAKE A LOT MORE PROGRESS
WITH THAT.

BUT WE HAVE HER TO A PLACE
THAT IS SAFE FOR HER TO GO HOME.

SO NOW IT'S TIME FOR HER
TO SHOW ME

THAT SHE CAN DO THIS ON HER OWN.

**

Renee:
I'M EXCITED BECAUSE DR. NOW SAID
I COULD GO HOME TODAY.

I'VE MISSED MY WHOLE FAMILY
SO MUCH.

AND TODAY MY SON
IS COMING TO HELP ME

GET SITUATED IN MY NEW PLACE,

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM.

-HEY!
-HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M SITTING HERE,
WONDERING WHERE YOU WAS AT.

YOU DOING ALL RIGHT?

YEAH,
I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD.

DOING DEFINITELY GOOD NOW
THAT I SEE YOU.

OH, GOD.
I MISSED YOU.

YEAH, ME TOO.

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU.

I'M READY TO GO.

I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR

TO COME GIVE ME
MY WALKING PAPERS

SO WE CAN GET OVER THERE
AND SEE WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI, RENEE.

HI, DR. NOW.

HOW YOU DOING?

I'M DOING GOOD.

OKAY.

AND SO, TODAY, WE'RE GONNA
GET YOU OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.

YOU GOT A PLACE IN HOUSTON
TO STAY, SO IT IS TIME FOR YOU

TO GO HOME AND SHOW ME
WHAT YOU CAN DO ON YOUR OWN.

HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

THAT SOUNDS MARVELOUS.

-OKAY.
-YES.

ALL RIGHT.

SO, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE
60 POUNDS OVER NEXT 2 MONTHS

TO SHOW ME YOU'RE READY AND
WILLING TO WORK HARD TO DO THIS.

WE HAVE SHOWN YOU THE DIET
THAT YOU NEED TO BE ON,

AND YOU HAVE THAT INFORMATION,

SO YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM
STICKING WITH IT.

OKAY.

AND, ALSO, I WANT YOU TO KEEP
ACTIVE AND CONTINUE TO WORK

TO GET YOUR STAMINA UP, OKAY?

OKAY.
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU HIT
YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL,

YOU MAY NOT PASS
THE MEDICAL TESTING

BECAUSE YOUR BODY STILL WON'T
BE ABLE TO HANDLE SURGERY.

SO, KEEP UP THE HARD WORK AND
SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO, OKAY?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S CHECK YOUR
WEIGHT AND SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING

BEFORE YOU GO HOME, OKAY?

**

**

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE WHAT THAT NUMBER SAYS.

**

583.

YOU LOST 48 POUNDS.

SO THAT'S GREAT.

I'M GETTING DIZZY.

I THINK YOU CAN SEE,
YOU STILL NEED TO GET UP

AND DO YOUR EXERCISES.

YES, SIR.

OH!

YOU SHOULDN'T BE
BREATHING SO HEAVY

FOR JUST
THAT LITTLE WALK STILL.

AND THIS IS NOT VERY GOOD,
OKAY?

SO YOU NEED
TO WORK ON THAT,

BECAUSE THAT'S GONNA BE
VERY DIFFICULT

FOR YOU TO GET IN SHAPE,

THAT YOU CAN BE ABLE TO WALK
AT LEAST A BLOCK OR TWO

BEFORE WE CONSIDER
DOING ANYTHING.

RIGHT. OKAY.

SO, WE'RE GONNA SEND
PHYSICAL THERAPY TO YOUR HOUSE

SO YOU CAN DO YOUR EXERCISES.

IT IS CRITICALLY IMPORTANT
YOU COOPERATE BETTER

THAN YOU HAVE HERE
WITH YOUR EXERCISE, OKAY?

-OKAY.
-ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL GET TRANSPORT IN HERE,
AND NEXT TIME,

I WILL SEE YOU
IN THE CLINIC.

-OKAY.
-OKAY.

WE'LL SEE YOU THEN.

-THANK YOU.
-OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU.

Dr. Nowzaradan: RIGHT NOW
MY BIGGEST CONCERN FOR RENEE

IS HER LACK OF SUPPORT
FROM HER FAMILY.

EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE SET UP

AN APARTMENT HERE FOR HER
IN HOUSTON,

NONE OF THEM
ARE WILLING TO STAY DOWN HERE

TO HELP HER AND SUPPORT HER.

SO THAT'S GOING TO MAKE THIS
A LOT HARDER FOR HER.

AND IF SHE GOES OFF THE RAILS
AND STARTS MAKING COMPROMISES,

SHE CAN EASILY UNDO ALL THE WORK
AND PROGRESS WE MADE WITH HER,

AND WE MAY NOT BE ABLE
TO PULL HER THROUGH

AND SAVE HER A SECOND TIME.

**

Renee: I'M EXCITED ABOUT GETTING
OUT OF THE HOSPITAL,

AND I'M HAPPY
THAT I LOST WEIGHT.

BUT I'M SCARED ABOUT THE FACT
THAT I'M GONNA BE ALONE

FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS.

I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE HARD.

BUT MY LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS,
SO I CAN'T GO BACK TO GEORGIA.

I NEED TO STAY HERE AND DO WHAT
I HAVE TO DO TO GET SURGERY.

YOU TAKE CARE NOW.

BECAUSE IT'S MY ONLY HOPE.

WHOO.

I JUST WISH I DIDN'T HAVE
TO DO THIS ON MY OWN.

**

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ DOG BARKS ]

**

**

**

Renee:
IT'S BEEN ABOUT A MONTH SINCE
I'VE BEEN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL.

MY SON BROUGHT ME HERE
AND HELPED ME GET SETTLED,

BUT THEN HE HAD TO GO BACK
TO GEORGIA LIKE MONIQUE DID.

NOW I'M ALL ALONE.

AND THAT'S BEEN EXTREMELY HARD.

I STARTED THIS JOURNEY, AND I
KNEW THAT FOR THE MOST PART

THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO DO IT
FOR MYSELF, BY MYSELF.

I DON'T THINK ANYBODY BELIEVED
ME WHEN I TOLD MY FAMILY

THAT I WAS GONNA DO THIS.

I THINK THEY THOUGHT
THAT I WAS JUST BLOWING SMOKE.

SO I'M FINDING WAYS
TO MOTIVATE MYSELF

AND STICK TO THE DIET AND
EXERCISES I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.

DR. NOW WANTED ME
TO DO PHYSICAL THERAPY,

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M DOING ENOUGH
OF MY OWN EXERCISES THAT I DO,

AND I'M DOING THEM
EVERY MORNING.

I'M JUST FRUSTRATED
BECAUSE I'M SO WEAK,

AND I GET TIRED
AT THE LEAST LITTLE THING.

BUT, I MEAN, I'M NOT GIVING UP.

BY NO MEANS,
I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP.

THE ONLY VISITORS I GET
IS A PERSONAL-CARE ASSISTANT

THAT CHECKS ON ME
AND BRINGS ME WHAT I NEED.

AND BOREDOM MAKES IT EVEN HARDER
NOT TO STRUGGLE

WITH EATING ALL THE TIME.

BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.

SO I'M WORKING HARD
TO HELP MY GOAL

AND GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

BECAUSE THE SOONER
I HIT MY GOALS,

THE SOONER I CAN GO HOME.

**

[ GRUNTS ]

TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE DR. NOW
FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT.

MY SON, BRENT, CAME DOWN
TO HELP ME GET THERE.

AND I'M EXCITED TO HAVE SOMEONE
HERE WITH ME FOR A LITTLE BIT.

Brent: OH, LORD.

Renee:
OH, LORD JESUS.

[ PANTING ]

I THINK TODAY'S
GONNA BE A GOOD DAY,

BECAUSE I WORKED HARD
NOT ONLY TO LOSE WEIGHT,

BUT TO GET MY STAMINA UP
LIKE THE DOCTOR SAID.

SO I FEEL LIKE TODAY
IS GONNA GO WELL

AND I'M GONNA GET APPROVED
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

SON...

I KNOW.

OH, MY GOODNESS.

WAIT. I'M LOSING MY SHOE.

I KNOW IT IS, SON.
I'M SORRY.

-ALL RIGHT.
-CAN SHE GO IN?

MM-HMM.

GET IN THE CAR.

OKAY.

[ SNIFFLES, GRUNTS ]

[ PANTING ]

BACK IN.

[ PANTING ]

OH, LORD JESUS.

OH!

SON, I'M GONNA FALL.

NO, YOU WON'T.

I'M GONNA [BLEEP] FALL!

MAMA, QUIT TRIPPING 'CAUSE
I'M NOT GONNA SIT OUT HERE.

MY LEG IS BENT AND STUCK.

I CAN'T GET MY LEG OUT.
THIS LEG --

MAMA, QUIT PANICKING AND JUST
TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED ME TO DO.

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT WAIT.

JUST LET ME GO FOR A MINUTE.

I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM
FALLING ON THE [BLEEP] FLOOR.

OW!
OW, MY LEG!

GET UP, GET UP, GET UP.

[BLEEP]
OH, I DON'T KNOW.

MY LEG IS HURTING, SON.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME -- HUH?

GO AHEAD, COME ON.
WE...UP OUTTA THERE.

[BLEEP]

-YOU READY? COME ON.
-OW.

CAN YOU PULL THE LEG
OUT FROM UNDER ME?

THE BENT LEG.
-THIS ONE?

OW! NO, IT'S NOT.

DAMN, MAMA,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I'M ABOUT
TO COME BEHIND YOU.

OW. OW, OW.

MOM, I'LL TRY TO SIT YOU
STRAIGHT UP.

OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE.

LET'S GO.

-OW.
-PULL THE LEFT ARM.

OW, MY ARM.
OW, MY LEG.

GRAB THIS.
THAT BAR, MAMA.

YOU'RE OKAY.

JUST DON'T --
LET IT GO. COME ON.

-LET HER GO, LET HER GO.
-YES.

**

OKAY.

**

[ GROANS ]

-I'M SORRY, SON.
-YOU AIN'T NO PROBLEM.

I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE
LIKE THIS.

THAT'S WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY THEY DON'T HAVE

BETTER VEHICLES
FOR PEOPLE IN THIS SITUATION.

[ PANTING ]

OW.

Renee:
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED.

MY LEG IS IN SO MUCH PAIN
RIGHT NOW.

I THINK I TWISTED IT.

I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.

IF I MISS MY APPOINTMENT,

I'M GONNA LOSE MY CHANCE
TO GET SURGERY.

BUT THERE'S NO WAY
I CAN MAKE IT.

[ GROANS ]

I'M IN TOO MUCH PAIN,

AND I'M SCARED
OF HURTING MYSELF REALLY BAD.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY CHANCE.

SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW.

**

**

**

RENEE CALLED ME EARLIER, AND SHE
TOLD ME THAT SHE HURT HER LEG,

AND SHE COULDN'T MAKE IT
TO HER APPOINTMENT.

SO I SENT AN AMBULANCE
TO PICK HER UP

AND BRING HER TO THE HOSPITAL.

BUT I SUSPECT HER LEG
ISN'T THE REAL ISSUE HERE.

SHE HAS REFUSED
PHYSICAL THERAPY,

AND THEY DID A WEIGH-IN
WHEN SHE ARRIVED,

AND SHE ONLY LOST EIGHT
POUNDS IN PAST TWO MONTHS.

**

HI, RENEE.

HI, DR. NOW.

HOW YOU FEEL?

LIKE I GOT RUN OVER
BY A TAXI.

SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

I GOT INTO A FIGHT
WITH THE TAXI, AND THE TAXI WON.

I WAS TRYING
TO GET IN THE TAXI,

AND I SLID BETWEEN
THE TWO SEATS AND GOT STUCK.

AND YOU SAY YOUR LEG
IS HURT NOW?

YEAH.

LET ME TAKE A LOOK
AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

OOH, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
THEY HURT SO BAD.

AND CAN YOU STRAIGHTEN OUT
YOUR LEG?

OHH.

OHH.

WHERE ARE YOU HURTING?
YOUR KNEE?

THE KNEE AND LOWER PART
ON THE SIDE.

IT IS POSSIBLE
THAT YOU HAVE MINOR STRAIN,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG.

SO YOU'RE OKAY,
AND YOU CAN KEEP WALKING.

I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT.

RIGHT NOW I'M JUST IN A LOT
OF PAIN AND JUST TIRED,

AND I'M FRUSTRATED
WITH MYSELF

'CAUSE I THOUGHT
I WAS DOING GOOD

AS FAR AS, YOU KNOW,
WALKING AROUND, WALKING BETTER.

COME ON, RENEE.
YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.

OVER THE PAST TWO MONTHS, THE
PHYSICAL THERAPY WE SEND TO YOU,

YOU TURN THEM AWAY.

AND YOU'RE ONLY DOWN TO 575.

4 POUNDS A MONTH IS FAR FROM THE
PROGRESS YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE.

SO YOU'RE NOT WALKING,
AND YOU'RE NOT LOSING WEIGHT.

I'M LOSING WEIGHT.

I'M TRYING --
I KNOW I'M LOSING WEIGHT.

AND, I MEAN, I'M DOING EXERCISE
AS BEST I CAN.

YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO PLAY GAMES
LIKE THIS, RENEE.

AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SURVIVE
MUCH LONGER LIKE THIS.

WHEN YOU ARRIVE,

YOU WERE IN KIDNEY FAILURE
AND HEART FAILURE.

WE TURNED THAT AROUND.

IF YOU START TO GAIN AGAIN,

THOSE ISSUES
WILL COME RIGHT BACK.

SO, HERE IS WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO.

I'M GOING TO START SENDING YOU
TO WATER AEROBICS,

AND YOU'RE GOING TO GO
THREE TIMES A WEEK.

AND IF YOU SKIP EVEN ONCE,
WE'RE DONE HERE.

I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY
ANY GAMES WITH YOU, OKAY?

I UNDERSTAND.

GOOD.
AND YOUR GOAL IS STILL THE SAME.

60 POUNDS IN 2 MONTHS.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

**

RENEE CANNOT AFFORD
TO CONTINUE TO ROLL THE DICE

WITH HER HEALTH ANYMORE.

BUT IF SHE DOESN'T START
TO DO WHAT SHE NEEDS,

THEN HER BODY WILL START
TO DETERIORATE AGAIN.

AND IF IT DOES,
THAT WILL EITHER END HER LIFE,

OR IT WILL TAKE MONTHS AGAIN
IN THE HOSPITAL

TO HELP HER RECOVER
IF WE ARE EVEN ABLE TO DO THAT.

SO, IF SHE DOESN'T GET
REALLY SERIOUS THIS TIME,

THEN THINGS ARE ABOUT
TO GET MUCH WORSE FOR HER.

**

Renee: I'M GOING TO DO
WATER AEROBICS TODAY.

AND I'M NOT THAT EXCITED
ABOUT IT

BECAUSE MY LEG
STILL REALLY HURTS.

BUT DR. NOW IS TELLING ME
NO EXCUSES, SO I'M GOING.

MY SON, BRENT, HAS AGREED TO
STAY LONGER WITH ME TO HELP ME.

AND HIS FIANCéE, HANNAH,
IS STAYING WITH US, TOO,

TO HELP US OUT.

SO IT'S REALLY NICE
TO HAVE FAMILY WITH ME,

BUT I'M STILL NERVOUS ABOUT
DOING THESE EXERCISES TODAY.

**

I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST
TIME I WAS IN A SWIMMING POOL.

SO I'M JUST HOPING
ALL GOES WELL TODAY

AND THAT I DON'T HURT MY LEG
EVEN MORE.

**

-HELLO!
-HI.

-HOW ARE YOU?
-OKAY.

-MY NAME IS HANNAH.
-I'M RENEE.

-NICE TO MEET YOU.
-MM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE'RE PROBABLY
GONNA ROLL AROUND THIS WAY,

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA HAVE YOU
WALK DOWN THE RAMP

IF YOU'RE COMFORTABLE
WITH THAT.

I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS.

I DON'T KNOW
IF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.

**

GRAB HERE.

OKAY.
OH, YEAH.

YOU WANT TO CATCH
YOUR BREATH?

**

SEE IF WE CAN MAKE IT
ALL THE WAY TO THE CORNER THERE,

AND THEN WE'LL TAKE A BREATHER.

I DON'T LIKE THIS.

THERE YOU GO.

NOW YOU CAN REST
A MINUTE.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW?

-TIRED.
-TIRED?

I WAS TOLD IT WOULD BE EASIER
TO MOVE AROUND IN THE WATER,

BUT IT'S NOT FEELING
ANY EASIER RIGHT NOW.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S WALK FORWARD
A COUPLE STEPS.

TRY TO LOOSEN UP
THE DEATH GRIP A LITTLE.

HERE WE GO.

LET'S TRY TO WALK
THIS WAY SOME MORE.

**

I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING
TO GET THE HANG OF THIS.

**

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S DO SOME LEG THINGS.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA BEND YOUR KNEE

AND KICK STRAIGHT AT ME
LIKE THIS.

OKAY.
SO BEND, EXTEND.

I FEEL LIKE A ROCKETTE.
[ LAUGHS ]

SEE? YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY
THERE ALREADY.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

PERFECT.

IT FEELS GOOD
TO BE EXERCISING,

AND I CAN MOVE AROUND
WITHOUT BEING AFRAID OF FALLING.

[ LAUGHS ] GOOD.
THAT WAS GOOD.

THAT WAS GOOD.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
-I'M OKAY.

I THINK HALFWAY IN,
I GOT THE HANG OF IT.

SO I'M GONNA KEEP UP WITH THIS
AND KEEP WORKING TO HELP MY GOAL

SO I CAN GET
MY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY SOON.

AND THAT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY.

BUT IF MY SON CONTINUES
TO STAY WITH ME TO DO THIS...

I THINK I CAN MAKE IT.

**

I'M GETTING
A LITTLE HUNGRY.

WHAT YOU GONNA EAT?

MAYBE JUST
A LITTLE SCRAMBLED EGG.

ALL RIGHT.

THANKFULLY, MY SON
IS STILL HERE WITH ME.

HE AGREED TO STAY WITH ME
FOR A FULL TWO MONTHS,

AND HE'S BEEN A GODSEND.

HE'S ALSO HELPING ME
MAKE HEALTHY MEALS

SO I DON'T OVEREAT.

OH, THESE LOOK DELICIOUS.

SO I'M SO THANKFUL
FOR ALL HIS HELP,

AND I KNOW I CAN'T
DO THIS WITHOUT HIM.

ALL MY OTHER KIDS
ARE TOO BUSY FOR ME,

SO HE'S THE ONLY ONE
I HAVE RIGHT NOW.

AND IT'S MAKING
A DIFFERENCE FOR ME.

THAT'S ABOUT ALL
I CAN HANDLE, SON.

**

MM.

**

Brent: I'M GLAD I'M HERE
WITH MY MOM.

IT DON'T REALLY MATTER
WHERE SHE'D GO.

IF SHE NEEDS ME, I'LL BE THERE.

WE'RE JUST FAMILY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

**

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO
WITHOUT YOU WHEN YOU GO.

WHAT YOU MEAN,
YOU CAN'T DO IT?

IF I NEED YOU, I KNOW
I CAN COUNT ON YOU.

AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY
I DEPEND ON YOU.

JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU,
SON, OKAY?

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Renee:
I HAVE MY NEXT APPOINTMENT
WITH THE DOCTOR IN A FEW WEEKS,

AND I'M JUST HOPING
I HIT THE GOAL I NEED.

I HAVE TO DO THIS NOW BECAUSE
I KNOW IT MAY BE MY LAST CHANCE.

**

**

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

**

Renee: I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT TODAY.

OOH.

I KNOW I'M WORKING REALLY HARD,
AND THIS TIME,

I'VE DONE ALL MY EXERCISES.

THANK YOU.

I'LL SEE YOU
ON MY RETURN TRIP HOME.

BUT IT HAS BEEN A LITTLE HARDER

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING
WELL THE PAST FEW DAYS.

**

RENEE BIRAN?

I JUST HOPE THE DOCTOR
CAN GIVE ME SOMETHING

TO HELP ME GET PAST THIS
AND FEEL BETTER.

BUT I'M HOPING I HIT
MY WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL TODAY.

DR. NOW GAVE ME
A WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL OF 60 POUNDS.

SO I NEED TO BE DOWN
TO 515 TODAY.

I JUST HOPE I HIT THAT.

**

I THOUGHT I'D DONE BETTER
THAN THAT.

[ SNIFFLES ]
OH, LORDY.

I'M STILL MAKING PROGRESS.

BUT IT'S JUST NOT AS MUCH
PROGRESS AS HE WANTED.

SO NOW I DON'T KNOW
WHAT DR. NOW IS GONNA SAY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

**

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN.

-HELLO, RENEE.
-HI, DR. NOW.

HOW ARE YOU?

OOH, I'M HALF-GOOD
AND HALF-BAD.

WHAT IS THE GOOD PART,
AND WHAT IS THE BAD PART?

THE GOOD PART IS
I'M STILL LOSING WEIGHT.

NO, THAT'S THE BAD PART,

BECAUSE YOU ONLY LOST
EIGHT POUNDS AGAIN.

THAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR TWO-MONTH
LIMIT ON YOUR OWN.

SO, WHAT'S THE OTHER
BAD PART, THEN?

I'M STILL TIRED
AND DON'T HAVE ANY ENERGY.

SO, WHEN DID THAT START?

IT'S BEEN LIKE THAT
A FEW DAYS NOW.

I MEAN, I JUST, LIKE,
HAVE ZERO ENERGY.

OKAY.

SO, LET ME JUST CHECK YOUR PULSE
AND YOUR BREATHING.

I DO GET SHORT OF BREATH,

BUT IT'S AFTER
I'VE BEEN SITTING FOR A WHILE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME
WHEN YOU START FEELING THIS WAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST FEEL THAT I WAS
MALNOURISHED FROM MY DIETING.

NO. YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT
STICKING TO YOUR DIET.

IF YOU WERE MALNOURISHED,
YOU WOULD HAVE LOST MORE WEIGHT

THAN EIGHT POUNDS
IN TWO MONTHS.

UMM, I -- YEAH.

I EXPLAINED TO YOU
HOW BAD YOUR BODY IS

AND HOW YOU CAN'T TAKE
ANY RISKS RIGHT NOW.

ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT WE HAVE TO ADDRESS

WAS THAT YOU WERE
IN KIDNEY FAILURE

PARTLY FROM ALL THE ABUSE

THAT YOU HAVE PUT YOUR BODY
THROUGH ALL THESE YEARS.

OKAY.

WITH YOUR LACK OF PROGRESS
IN THE PAST TWO MONTHS,

I'M CONCERNED YOUR CONDITION
HAS STARTED TO DETERIORATE AGAIN

AND THAT YOUR KIDNEYS
ARE HAVING ISSUES.

AND IF THAT'S THE CASE,
YOU COULD BE CLOSE

TO KIDNEY FAILURE
AND HEART FAILURE.

OKAY.

SO YOUR CONDITION
IS VERY FRAGILE,

AND YOU NEED
TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

I'M CALLING MEDICAL TRANSPORT
TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL

TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON

AND IF YOU HAVE ANY LIFE-
THREATENING ISSUE RIGHT NOW.

-OKAY.
-OKAY?

I'LL SEE YOU OVER THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

[ SIGHS ]

THERE COULD BE ANY NUMBER
OF ISSUES WITH RENEE RIGHT NOW

THAT COULD LEAD
TO HER DEATH VERY SOON

IF WE DON'T
ADDRESS IT IMMEDIATELY.

BUT RIGHT NOW WITH HER SYMPTOMS,
MY CONCERN IS HER KIDNEYS.

WHEN SHE FIRST ARRIVED,

MANY OF HER ORGANS
WERE CLOSE TO FAILURE,

ESPECIALLY HER KIDNEYS
AND HER HEART.

AND WE WANT TO GET THEM
HEALTHY AGAIN,

BUT SHE HAS SPENT FOUR MONTHS
NOT COMPLYING WITH HER DIET,

AND SHE HAS CONTINUED
TO EAT UNHEALTHY FOOD,

COMBINED WITH ALL THE STRAIN
THAT HER WEIGHT

IS PUTTING ON HER BODY

TO WHERE NOW
SHE MAY BE IN A PLACE

THAT IS ABOUT TO BE CRITICAL.

AND ON TOP OF THAT,
SHE HAS LET IT GO UNCHECKED

AND UNTREATED FOR DAYS NOW,

SO HER BODY MAY BE READY
TO GIVE OUT AT ANY MOMENT.

SO WE HAVE TO FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER,

AND WE NEED TO DO THAT NOW.

**

WE HAVE HAD RENEE HERE
FOR A COUPLE MONTHS,

AND AT HER LAST APPOINTMENT,

SHE WAS COMPLAINING
THAT SHE WAS NOT FEELING WELL,

SO I BROUGHT HER HERE.

AND WE DISCOVERED SHE WAS
CLOSE TO HEART FAILURE

AND KIDNEY FAILURE.

AND HER POOR DIET
COMBINED WITH ALL THE WEIGHT

SHE HAS ON HER BODY IS JUST
PUSHING IT TO THE LIMIT.

SO I HAVE HAD TO KEEP HER
ON A CONTROLLED DIET

AND TREATED HER TO GET
TO A HEALTHY ENOUGH PLACE

THAT SHE CAN SURVIVE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI, RENEE.

HI, DR. NOW.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD.

OKAY.

WE HAVE NURSED YOU
BACK TO HEALTH,

AND YOU'RE DOING WELL NOW.

AND ON TOP OF THAT, WE HAVE
HAD YOU ON A CONTROLLED DIET,

AND WE HAVE GOTTEN YOU DOWN
ALMOST 100 POUNDS TO 471.

SO YOU'RE DOING MUCH BETTER,
AND WE CAN SEND YOU HOME AGAIN.

OKAY.

BUT YOU STILL HAVE
TO SHOW ME

THAT YOU CAN DO THIS
ON YOUR OWN,

AND I'M GIVING YOU 1 MONTH
TO LOSE 30 POUNDS.

OKAY.

BUT I'M VERY CONCERNED BECAUSE
WE HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE,

SO THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.
I LEARNED MY LESSON.

YOU WON'T SURVIVE
ANOTHER MEDICAL EMERGENCY,

AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO WASTE
ANY MORE TIME PLAYING GAMES

IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN
WILLING TO TRY.

OKAY.

ASIDE FROM 16 POUNDS
THAT YOU LOST OVER 4 MONTHS,

THE ONLY REAL WEIGHT LOSS
YOU HAD

HAS BEEN HERE
IN THE HOSPITAL.

YES.

SO, WE'RE GOING TO KEEP
SENDING YOU TO WATER AEROBICS

AND DOING EXERCISES
WITH YOU.

AND I'M GOING TO START YOU
ON PSYCHOTHERAPY NOW.

OKAY.

I'M GOING TO SET THAT UP
TO START NEXT WEEK.

AND HOPEFULLY
THAT WILL HELP YOU

TO MAKE THE DIFFERENCE
THIS TIME.

OKAY.

BECAUSE I'M SERIOUS WHEN I SAY
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

I'M NOT HERE
TO WATCH YOU DIE.

I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU
A QUALITY OF LIFE...

OKAY.

...AND HELP YOU LIVE LONGER.

ALL I NEED FROM YOU
IS A LITTLE EFFORT.

-OKAY.
-OKAY.

SEE YOU SOON AND HOPEFULLY
30 POUNDS LIGHTER.

OKAY.
SOUNDS GOOD.

RENEE IS JUST ABOUT
OUT OF CHANCES.

AND IN AN EFFORT TO CONTINUE

TO TRY TO FIND WAYS
TO MOTIVATE HER,

I'M GOING TO START
TO SEND HER TO PSYCHOTHERAPY.

WE DO PSYCHOTHERAPY
WITH PATIENTS TO HELP THEM

WITH THE TRANSITION TO LIFE
AFTER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

THEN ONCE WE REMOVE THE PHYSICAL
COMPULSION AND DRIVE TO EAT,

WE CAN START TO ADDRESS
THE EMOTIONAL COMPONENT.

SO, STARTING THIS PROCESS
BEFORE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

CAN AFFECT LONG-TERM RESULTS.

BUT IN THIS CASE, WE'RE RUNNING
OUT OF OPTIONS WITH RENEE.

SO HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE WHAT
SHE NEEDS TO TURN THINGS AROUND.

BUT AFTER THIS,
WE ARE OUT OF OPTIONS.

AND AT THAT POINT,
HER ODDS OF SURVIVAL

IS GOING TO BE VERY LOW.

**

Renee:
TODAY, THE THERAPIST DR. NOW
WANTS ME TO SEE IS COMING OVER.

[ GRUNTS ]

AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

SO I'M HOPING
THIS WILL GO WELL

AND I WILL COME OUT
WITH A LOT OF INSIGHT

ON HOW TO BE DETERMINED
WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS.

BECAUSE I'M DESPERATE
FOR ANYTHING

AND TO FIND ANY WAY
TO DO BETTER AND STICK TO IT.

HI! COME ON IN.

-RENEE.
-YES.

HI, I'M LOLA.

HI, LOLA.
COME ON IN.

GRAB A SEAT.

**

OKAY.

SO, LET'S TALK A LITTLE BIT
JUST ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

NOW, RENEE, HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN VERBALLY ABUSED?

[ SCOFFS ] OH, YES.

IN YOUR LIFETIME, HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN PHYSICALLY ABUSED?

MANY TIMES.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
SEXUALLY ABUSED?

YES.

CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT THE ABUSE

YOU'VE EXPERIENCED?

THE VERBAL ABUSE
PROBABLY STARTED WITH MY MOM.

MY MOM REALLY DIDN'T WANT
TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

SO, YOU FELT SOMEWHAT
NEGLECTED BY YOUR MOM.

FOR ALL MY LIFE.

FOR ALL YOUR LIFE
YOU'VE FELT NEGLECTED.

EVEN ON HER DEATHBED.

YOU MENTIONED PHYSICAL ABUSE.

WHO PHYSICALLY ABUSED YOU?

BESIDES MY EXES,
MY MOM PHYSICALLY ABUSED ME.

YOU KNOW, SHE ATTACKED ME WITH
A HAMMER AT ONE POINT IN TIME.

NOW, RENEE,
HOW OLD WERE YOU

WHEN YOU RECALL
BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED?

THE FIRST TIME I WAS LIKE 9,
BY MY MAMA'S BOYFRIEND.

DID YOU EVER DISCLOSE
TO ANYONE WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

WELL, MY MOM ACTUALLY WENT IN
AND FOUND HIM, SEEN HIM.

AND NOTHING HAPPENED?

RIGHT.

I'M SO SORRY
THAT YOU WENT THROUGH THAT.

I THINK IT WAS JUST
ANOTHER THING

THAT SOLIDIFIED
THAT SHE HATED ME.

SO WHERE
IS YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AT TODAY?

PSHH.

THERE ARE SOME DAYS I LOOK IN
THE MIRROR, AND I LIKE MY FACE.

AND THERE ARE SOME DAYS
I LOOK IN THE MIRROR,

AND I DON'T LIKE MY FACE.

AND I SAY THAT BECAUSE SOMETIMES
I SEE MY MOM WHEN I SEE MY FACE,

SO THAT'S WHY.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KEEP
PROCESSING THE THINGS

THAT YOU'VE EXPERIENCED
IN YOUR LIFE

SO THAT THEY DON'T
HOLD YOU HOSTAGE.

YOU HOLD THE KEY
TO YOUR OWN FREEDOM,

AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO USE IT.

SO I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU
SOME HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS,

AND I WANT YOU TO WRITE ABOUT
YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES,

BUT WITH THE TWIST
WHERE YOU TALK ABOUT

HOW YOU CAME OUT
ON THE OTHER SIDE STRONGER

FROM WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH.

**

OOH, OKAY.

YOU'RE THE HEROINE
IN YOUR STORY.

I WILL TRY.

I WILL DO MY BEST TO TRY.

AND I'LL DO MY BEST
TO HELP YOU ALONG THE WAY.

THANK YOU, LOLA.

**

TILL NEXT TIME, RENEE.

YES, UNTIL NEXT TIME.

**

I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF ISSUES
AND A LOT OF PAIN

THAT'S LED TO ME EATING.

I JUST NEVER REALLY THOUGHT
I COULD DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

LOLA SAID I HOLD THE KEY
TO MY OWN FREEDOM,

AND I JUST HAVE TO USE THAT.

SO, I'M GONNA START
JOURNALING LIKE SHE SAID,

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO TURN TO FOOD.

I JUST HOPE IT HELPS ME.

**

I'M HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN,
AND I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW.

EVERYTHING DEPENDS
ON THIS NEXT APPOINTMENT

AND WHETHER I HIT MY GOAL.

I'VE TRIED MY HARDEST,

AND NOT ONLY HAVE
I BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET

AND EXERCISE I'M SUPPOSED TO,

I'VE BEEN JOURNALING LIKE
THE THERAPIST TOLD ME TO DO,

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING
TO WORK THROUGH SOME ISSUES.

I JUST WISH I HAD MORE TIME.

BUT I KNOW DR. NOW IS WORRIED

THAT I'M NOT GONNA
LAST MUCH LONGER

IF I DON'T START
DOING WHAT I NEED.

SO I HAVE TO USE THE TIME
I HAVE.

RENEE BIRAN?

I WAS 471 POUNDS WHEN I LEFT
THE HOSPITAL A MONTH AGO,

AND MY WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL FOR
THE PAST MONTH WAS 30 POUNDS.

SO I NEED TO BE BELOW 441 TODAY.

[ PANTING ]

**

IT'S JUST ONE POUND AWAY,
BUT I'M SO WORRIED NOW

WHAT THE DOCTORS
ARE GOING TO SAY,

AND I JUST HOPE
IT'S GONNA BE ENOUGH.

I'M SO CLOSE,
AND I'VE WORKED SO HARD.

**

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI, RENEE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HI, DR. NOW.

SO, YOU'RE DOWN
TO 442 TODAY.

I GAVE YOU A WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL
TO LOSE 30 POUNDS IN 1 MONTH,

AND YOU LOST 29.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING,
AND I HAVE BEEN STICKING

TO WHAT I NEEDED TO DO
TO LOSE.

WELL, YOU WERE LOSING
FOUR POUNDS A MONTH

ON YOUR OWN BEFORE THAT,
SO THIS IS GOOD IMPROVEMENT.

AND I'LL SAY
IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.

SO I'M APPROVING YOU
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

GET OUT OF HERE.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YES.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YES.

OKAY?

THIS AIN'T APRIL FOOLS,
IS IT?

BUT THERE IS
ONE CONDITION, OKAY?

OKAY.

JUST AS LONG
AS I GET SURGERY.

YOU SPENT FOUR MONTHS
NOT LOSING.

I JUST NEED A LITTLE BIT
MORE ASSURANCE

THAT THIS WEIGHT LOSS
IS NOT TEMPORARY.

ALL RIGHT.

SO I'M GOING TO SCHEDULE YOUR
SURGERY FOR ONE MONTH FROM NOW.

OKAY.

AND WHEN WE ADMIT YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL,

WE ARE GOING
TO CHECK YOUR WEIGHT,

AND I'M ALSO GOING TO HAVE
A WALKING TEST FOR YOU.

AND IF YOU CAN DO IT
AND YOU'RE LOSING WEIGHT,

THEN WE'LL MOVE AHEAD.

SO JUST KEEP AT IT
AND YOU SHOULD BE FINE, OKAY?

THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD, THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU IN A MONTH,

AND KEEP MOVING IN THE
RIGHT DIRECTION UNTIL THEN.

ALL RIGHT.

AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING
IN THE MEANTIME, CALL ME.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, RENEE.
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU, OKAY?

THANK YOU, DR. NOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: RENEE HAS MADE
A GOOD IMPROVEMENT

OVER THIS PAST MONTH,

BUT I NEED HER TO SHOW ME
THAT SHE CAN KEEP DOING THIS

A LITTLE BIT LONGER

AND THAT SHE'S GOING
TO HAVE ENOUGH STAMINA

AND LUNG CAPACITY
TO SURVIVE THE SURGERY.

SO IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT
SHE STICKS TO IT AND DOES THIS,

BECAUSE IF SHE DOESN'T,

SHE WON'T BE READY
TO MOVE AHEAD,

AND WE WILL CANCEL THE SURGERY.

AND SHE CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE
ANY SETBACK RIGHT NOW.

**

**

Dr. Nowzaradan:
WE ADMITTED RENEE TO THE
HOSPITAL TO RUN SOME TESTS

TO MAKE SURE SHE'S PHYSICALLY
ABLE TO UNDERGO SURGERY.

SO WE'RE GOING TO CHECK
HER WEIGHT TODAY

TO SEE IF SHE HAS MADE
ANY PROGRESS

AND ALSO HAVE
A WALKING TEST FOR HER

TO SEE WHAT HER STAMINA IS.

AND IF SHE DOES WELL
WITH BOTH OF THOSE,

THEN WE WILL MOVE AHEAD

WITH HER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
THAT IS SCHEDULED FOR TOMORROW.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN.

**

HI, RENEE.
HOW ARE YOU?

ARE YOU GONNA BE READY
FOR SURGERY TOMORROW?

I'M READY NOW.

LET'S GO DO IT
RIGHT NOW.

[ LAUGHS ]
FIRST THING'S FIRST.

WE RAN ALL YOUR MEDICAL TESTS,
AND EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.

SO NOW ALL THAT IS LEFT
IS FOR YOU TO SHOW ME

YOUR CONTINUED WEIGHT LOSS
AND STAMINA.

OKAY.

SO WE'RE GONNA KILL TWO BIRDS
WITH ONE STONE.

WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR WEIGHT,

BUT THE SCALE IS DOWN THE HALL
IN ANOTHER ROOM.

I WANT YOU TO WALK THERE WITH ME
TO SHOW ME YOUR STAMINA.

YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT
FOR ME?

YES, SIR.

TO GET MY SURGERY,
I CAN DO THAT.

ALL RIGHT,

SO I'LL GO GET WHEELCHAIR
TO FOLLOW YOU FOR SAFETY.

OKEYDOKEY.

**

Renee:
I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW
HOW FAR I'M WALKING,

AND I'M JUST HOPING I CAN DO IT.

ALL RIGHT, RENEE.
YOU READY TO DO THIS?

YES, SIR.
I WANT TO WALK.

YOU DON'T NEED WALKER
OR ANYTHING?

NO, I'M READY TO GO.

**

LOOK AT YOU GO.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

**

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO PUSH
YOURSELF TOO HARD AT ONCE.

**

PHEW!

I AM IMPRESSED.

YOU SHOWED ME YOUR MOBILITY
AND YOUR STAMINA,

SO I THINK YOUR LUNGS
ARE GETTING BETTER.

YOU NEED TO DO THAT
MORE OFTEN.

WELL, ROME WASN'T BUILT
IN A DAY, NOR IS MY BIKINI BODY.

WELL,
YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

OKAY, WE CAN ROLL YOU
DOWN TO THE SCALE.

**

SO, NOW LET'S SEE
IF YOU HAVE BEEN

MAKING ANY PROGRESS
WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS.

**

ALL RIGHT.
NOW IT HAS ZEROED.

OKAY.

**

YOU WERE AT 442
A MONTH AGO.

LET'S SEE
WHERE YOUR WEIGHT IS NOW.

[ BEEPING ]

423.

THAT'S LOSS OF 19 POUNDS.

-YES.
-BE CAREFUL.

THANK GOD.

PHEW.

SO, CONGRATULATIONS.

TOMORROW,
YOU'RE HAVING SURGERY.

**

RENEE HAS DONE WELL, AND I AM
PROUD OF HER ON HER PROGRESS.

FOR HER, 20 TO 30 POUNDS'
WEIGHT LOSS IS VERY BIG,

AND SHE WAS ABLE
TO WALK A GOOD DISTANCE.

SO WE WILL GET HER
TO SURGERY TOMORROW,

AND SHE CAN TAKE HER
NEXT BIG STEP WITH HER PROGRESS.

**

Renee: DR. NOW SEEMED
PRETTY PROUD WITH MY PROGRESS,

AND HONESTLY, I AM, AS WELL.

AND RIGHT NOW, I FEEL THE BEST
THAT I HAVE FELT

IN AT LEAST 10 YEARS.

BUT I'M STILL NERVOUS ABOUT
WHAT COULD HAPPEN TOMORROW.

**

**

NOW THAT SURGERY'S HERE,
I'M REALLY NERVOUS,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I JUST
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

AND I CAN ONLY TRUST DR. NOW AND
HOPE EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

**

HI, RENEE.

GOOD MORNING, DR. NOW.

GOOD MORNING.
HOW DO YOU FEEL THIS MORNING?

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?

I'M READY AS WELL
AS I'M EVER GONNA BE.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, WE GO AHEAD
AND GET YOU FIXED UP TODAY,

DO A SLEEVE ON YOU,
AND THIS IS GONNA HELP YOU

TO BE ABLE
TO LOSE SOME MORE WEIGHT

AND EASIER TO CONTROL
YOUR EATING HABIT.

-SOUNDS GOOD.
-ALL RIGHT.

DID YOU GET SOME REST
LAST NIGHT?

DID YOU GET SOME REST?

WELL-RESTED.

OKAY,
THAT'S THE MAIN CONCERN.

I CAN SLEEP AFTERWARDS.

WE'LL GET YOU STARTED
IN A FEW MINUTES, OKAY?

OKAY. I'M READY.

ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

**

-THERE'S MY BOY.
-HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

Hannah:
YOU READY?

HEY, I'M MORE THAN READY
TO GET THIS OVER WITH.

I LOVE YOU ALL,
AND I'M GLAD Y'ALL MADE IT.

THAT MEANS MORE THAN, YOU KNOW,
YOU ALL CAN EVER IMAGINE.

OH, YEAH.
WE LOVE YOU.

I AIN'T DONE
SAID NO GOODBYES.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT.
I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

I'LL SEE YOU
WHEN YOU GET DONE.

ALL RIGHT.
Y'ALL BE GOOD.

-YOU TOO.
-OKAY.

Renee: I'M SCARED OF THE RISKS
OF UNDERGOING SURGERY,

ESPECIALLY WITH HOW BAD
MY HEALTH HAS BEEN.

THERE'S A CHANCE THAT
SOMETHING COULD GO WRONG,

BUT I HAVE NO DOUBT ABOUT
MOVING FORWARD WITH THIS

BECAUSE I KNOW THIS SURGERY
IS REALLY THE ONLY CHANCE

I HAVE TO GETTING THE LIFE
THAT I WANT TO HAVE.

SO I'M DOING THIS
NO MATTER WHAT.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan:
RENEE HAS HAD TO COME A LONG WAY
TO GET THIS SURGERY.

HER CONDITION WAS EXTREMELY POOR
WHEN SHE ARRIVED.

SO WE HAVE HAD TO WORK
EXTREMELY HARD TO GET HER BODY

TO A PLACE
WHERE SHE CAN SURVIVE A SURGERY.

WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.

GASTRONOMY IS AN OPERATION THAT
REDUCES THE STOMACH BY 90%,

LEAVING A LONG, SKINNY TUBE
THAT LOOK LIKE A SLEEVE

THAT CONNECT THE ESOPHAGUS
TO THE SMALL INTESTINE.

AFTER SURGERY, THERE IS
A CHANGE IN THE METABOLISM,

AND THE PATIENT'S FOOD INTAKE
IS PHYSICALLY LIMITED,

SO THIS WILL GIVE THEM
AN OPPORTUNITY

TO BEGIN LOSING WEIGHT.

**

I JUST TRUST THAT -- I JUST
HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL.

FAITH IS THE ONLY THING
THAT'S KEEPING ME STRONG

THROUGH EVERYTHING.

BUT I'M READY FOR EVERYTHING TO
GET OVER WITH JUST LIKE SHE IS.

**

THERE. THAT'S HER STOMACH.

ALL RIGHT.
THE ROOM LIGHT ON.

ALL RIGHT. WE'RE DONE.

RENEE'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.

WE WERE ABLE
TO COMPLETE HER OPERATION

IN SHORT PERIOD OF TIME

AND KEEP A LOT OF STRAIN
OFF HER BODY.

SO WE WILL GET HER TO RECOVERY,

AND WE WILL KEEP HER UP SOON
TO KEEP HER MOVING AROUND

TO PREVENT ANY BLOOD CLOT
FROM FORMING.

BUT SHE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO LOSE 20 TO 30 POUNDS

IN THE FIRST MONTH
AFTER SURGERY,

AND THEN 20 TO 25 POUNDS
THE FOLLOWING MONTH,

UNTIL SHE GETS CLOSE
TO HER TARGET WEIGHT.

BUT RENEE HAS A VERY
LONG ROAD AHEAD OF HER.

SHE HAS A LOT OF
EMOTIONAL ISSUES

THAT SHE'S GOING TO NEED TO WORK
WITH PSYCHOTHERAPY TO DEAL WITH,

OR THEY WILL START
TO COME TO THE SURFACE

AND SLOWLY LEAD HER BACK
TO OVEREATING IF SHE DOESN'T.

BUT RENEE CANNOT ALLOW HERSELF
TO GO BACK TO THE WAY SHE WAS,

ESPECIALLY NOW
THAT SHE HAS HAD SURGERY,

BECAUSE HER BODY
WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT.

SO WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

**

Woman:
RENEE BIRAN?

Renee:
IT'S BEEN ABOUT A MONTH SINCE
MY SURGERY, AND I'M DOING WELL.

I'M ABLE TO WALK
AND GET AROUND NOW

WITHOUT HAVING
TO CONSTANTLY SIT DOWN.

**

SO I THINK MY WEIGH-IN
WILL BE GOOD TODAY.

**

-OH, MY GOD!
-HEY. [ LAUGHS ]

WONDERFUL.

-OH!
-WONDERFUL.

[ LAUGHS ]

Renee: WHEN I SAW THAT NUMBER,
IT'S LIKE WAKING UP AT CHRISTMAS

AND SEEING EVERYTHING
YOU WISHED FOR.

I HOPE DR. NOW
SAYS THAT I'M DOING A GOOD JOB

AND THAT I'M DOING
THE RIGHT THING

THAT HE WANTS ME
TO BE DOING.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
COME IN.

HI, RENEE.

HI, DR. NOW.

HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

ALL RIGHT.
HOW YOU DOING?

-I'M GOOD.
-ALL RIGHT.

YOU GOT
THE WHOLE FAMILY, HUH?

THAT'S GREAT.

SO, TODAY, YOU'RE DOWN TO 403.

YES.

AND THAT'S TOTAL OF 228 POUND
THIS PAST YEAR.

SO, DO YOU FEEL
ANY BETTER NOW?

I FEEL TERRIFIC.

I ACTUALLY WALKED
IN THE OFFICE TODAY

AND WALKED BACK HERE
TO THE ROOM.

-WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
-YES.

-[ LAUGHS ]
-YOU SEE I DON'T HAVE MY WHEELS.

SO, YOU ARE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS
AND I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT.

SO, KEEP IT UP,
AND IN A FEW MONTHS,

WE CAN START
TO DISCUSS...MORE.

-OKAY.
-OKAY?

THAT SOUND GOOD?

THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

SO, I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE
YOUR KIDS WITH YOU TO HELP YOU

AND GIVING YOU
THE SUPPORT YOU NEED.

WHEN YOU FIRST ARRIVED,

YOU WERE IN ONE OF THE WORST
SHAPE I'VE EVER SEEN.

AND NOW YOUR HEART, YOUR LUNGS,
AND EVEN YOUR KIDNEYS

ARE FUNCTIONING A LOT BETTER.

I FEEL GREAT.

SO IN A YEAR,
I WANT YOU TO BE 180 POUNDS.

[ LAUGHS ] 180 POUNDS
IS SHOCKING, BUT OKAY.

I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR ALL THE TIMES

WHEN I BUTTED HEADS WITH YOU
AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP ON ME.

WELL, RENEE, THAT'S MY JOB
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU,

AND I APPRECIATE THAT.

BUT I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR
STICKING WITH THE PROGRAM.

THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR GIVING MY MOM BACK,
YOU KNOW?

THANKS FOR HELPING
CHANGE HER LIFE.

AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN
15 YEARS SINCE I BEEN ABLE

TO SIT ON THE FRONT PORCH
WITH HER, YOU KNOW?

SO I APPRECIATE THAT.

YOU'RE MORE THAN WELCOME.

-THANK YOU, SIR.
-THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.
Y'ALL TAKE CARE.

-YOU TOO. HAVE A GOOD DAY.
-YOU TOO. HAVE A GOOD DAY.

THANK YOU, DR. NOW.
-YOU TOO.

SURE. BYE-BYE.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
RENEE HAD A BUMPY ROAD FOR A
BIT, BUT SHE'S WORKING HARD NOW,

AND I'M VERY PROUD OF HER
FOR THE PROGRESS SHE'S MAKING.

SHE HAS MADE ONE OF THE BIGGEST
RECOVERIES I HAVE EVER SEEN,

SO I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR RENEE.

Renee:
I'M, LIKE, OVERJOYED RIGHT NOW.

DR. NOW JUST DON'T HAND OUT
COMPLIMENTS.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO DESERVE
THEM TO GET THEM FROM HIM.

I MEAN, DR. NOW SAID THAT I WAS
ONE OF THE WORST PATIENTS

HE'S SEEN WALK IN HERE.

AND TO SEE ME HERE NOW TODAY

HEALTHY
AND BEING ABLE TO WALK IN,

THAT'S NOTHING SHORT
OF A MIRACLE.

I'VE LEARNED THAT DETERMINATION
IS THE KEY.

WHEN YOU STEP ON THAT SCALE

AND THE NUMBERS
ARE CONSTANTLY GOING DOWN,

IT'S MORE THAN WORTH IT.

IT'S LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY
WORTH IT.

BUT THANK GOD MY SON,
HE CAME THROUGH,

'CAUSE THAT MADE IT EASIER.

I WOULD NOT WANT NOBODY ELSE
BUT MY SON

TO SHARE THIS ACCOMPLISHMENT
WITH ME BUT HIM.

THIS HAS BEEN

THE MOST POSITIVE THING
I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.

THERE'S A NEW RENEE IN TOWN.
SHE'S HERE TO STAY.

**

**

I'M SO THANKFUL
FOR THIS PAST YEAR

AND THE HELP I'VE BEEN GIVEN,

ESPECIALLY FOR DR. NOW.

HE'S THE BEST DOCTOR
I'VE EVER HAD.

**

WHOA.

AND HE'S COMPLETELY
CHANGED MY LIFE,

BECAUSE NOW I CAN GO OUT
AND DO THINGS.

-HI. WELCOME IN.
-HI!

WHEN I WAS SCARED TO DO ANYTHING
BEFORE, I HID FROM THE WORLD.

AND EVEN THOUGH
I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO,

I'M SO THANKFUL FOR HOW MUCH
MY LIFE HAS CHANGED ALREADY.

THE LAST TIME I BEEN IN
A BOOKSTORE HAS BEEN DECADES.

I FORGOT HOW GOOD IT FELT.

I DIDN'T THINK THAT I WOULD
EVER, EVER DO IT.

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD
JUST BE LAYING IN A BED

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

AND HERE I AM.

YOU KNOW, I'M SITTING INSIDE
OF A PUBLIC BUILDING.

I'VE CAME SO FAR IN JUST
REALLY A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME.

**

I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF WORK
TO DO STILL,

AND DR. NOW WARNED ME

THAT I HAVE TO KEEP DEALING
WITH EMOTIONAL ISSUES.

SO I'M DOING MY JOURNALING
AND STICKING THROUGH IT

AND TRYING TO WORK THROUGH
AND REALLY LET OUT MY EMOTIONS

THAT I'VE KEPT IN FOR SO LONG.

BUT I KNOW
THAT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE

AS I KEEP WORKING WITH LOLA
TO DO THAT.

AND IT MAY BE REALLY PAINFUL,

BUT I'M NO LONGER GIVING UP
CONTROL OF MY LIFE TO PAIN.

I'M FINALLY GETTING MY LIFE BACK

AFTER ALMOST LOSING IT
SO MANY TIMES,

AND I'M NEVER
GIVING IT UP AGAIN.