All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S06E03

Alicia: IT'S A LIVING HELL
TO BE IN THIS BODY,

AND I'M KILLING MYSELF
AND I CAN'T STOP IT.

**

OH, GOD.
[ GROANING ]

Woman: MY LIFE IS WASTING AWAY,
AND I HATE IT.

Woman #2: I TRIED TO CHANGE, BUT
SOMETHING ALWAYS KNOCKS ME DOWN.

**

MY LIFE, IT'S LIKE
LIVING A DEATH SENTENCE.

OH!
OW! [BLEEP]

THIS IS NO LIFE FOR ANYONE.

**

Woman: OH, JUST PRAY FOR ME.

OW, MY LEG!

SIT DOWN RIGHT THERE.

YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD.

THIS IS COMPLETELY
UNACCEPTABLE.

**

NO MATTER IF I FAIL
OR IF I SUCCEED,

I JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU
LOVE ME AND THAT YOU'RE HERE.

-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

**

Alicia: TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH
TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

IS STEPPING INTO THE UNKNOWN.

IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE...

UNLESS YOU'RE WILLING
TO REPLACE FEAR WITH HOPE.

**

**

**

EVERY DAY I DREAD GETTING UP

BECAUSE PUSHING MYSELF
OUT OF BED EACH MORNING

IS THE HARDEST PART OF MY DAY.

**

THERE ARE DEFINITELY DAYS
WHERE IT'S JUST LIKE

I WISH I COULD JUST STAY HERE,

AND AT THE SAME TIME,
THAT'S ALSO A FEAR THAT ONE DAY

I WILL BECOME BEDRIDDEN.

**

BUT IT'S PAINFUL.

IT'S PAINFUL TO HAVE TO
GET UP FROM BED.

**

I'M ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT MY
ANKLES GIVING OUT AND COLLAPSING

BECAUSE MY JOINTS AND MUSCLES
BARELY SUSTAIN MY WEIGHT.

**

MY BODY HAS REACHED A POINT
THAT I CAN'T EVEN GO A FEW STEPS

WITHOUT BEING WINDED.

**

BECAUSE I'M THE SIZE
OF FIVE PEOPLE IN ONE BODY,

MY WEIGHT MAKES EVERYTHING HARD.

**

AND A SIMPLE TASK LIKE SHOWERING
CAN FEEL ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

**

AND IT'S HARD TO STAND
FOR SO LONG IN ONE PLACE.

**

SO I HAVE TO TAKE BREAKS
AND REST.

**

I TRY TO DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN,

BUT WITH IT GETTING
HARDER AND HARDER,

I KNOW SOON I'M GOING TO
NEED HELP JUST TO DO ANYTHING.

MY BOYFRIEND, TIM, STARTED
LIVING WITH ME YEARS AGO,

BUT I REFUSE TO LET HIM
HELP ME SHOWER

BECAUSE I'VE NEVER WANTED
TO BE THAT BURDEN.

THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO ASK HIM
FOR HELP

TO CARE FOR MYSELF
IS MORTIFYING.

AND I CAN'T HAVE HIM SEE ME LIKE
THIS BECAUSE I HATE MY BODY.

IT'S DISGUSTING,

AND LIVING IN THIS BODY
IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE.

WHEN I SEE MYSELF IN A PICTURE
OR IN A MIRROR,

YOU ALMOST WOULD THINK, LIKE,

"SHOULDN'T THAT BE ENOUGH
TO JUST STOP AND REALIZE

WHAT IT IS YOU'RE DOING?"

BUT I GET SO DEPRESSED BY IT
THAT I GO TO WHAT IS

THE MOST COMFORTING,
WHICH IS FOOD,

AND AS FAR BACK
AS I CAN REMEMBER,

FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN
WHAT HAS CONSOLED ME.

**

FOOD MAKES ME SO HAPPY
THAT JUST SEEING IT

AND SMELLING IT
STARTS TO HELP ME FEEL BETTER

AND HELPS WITH MY ANXIETY.

**

I FEEL LIKE FOOD IS THE ONE
THING THAT DOESN'T JUDGE YOU.

IT NEVER LETS ME DOWN
AND NEVER DISAPPOINTS ME.

IT FILLS A VOID
AND EMPTINESS INSIDE ME.

EATING DOUGHNUTS FOR ME
CAN BE DESCRIBED

AS A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE ALMOST,
BECAUSE IT IS.

LIKE, IT'S SO FULFILLING
AND IT'S SATISFYING.

**

AND TO BE ABLE TO EAT
AND ENJOY THIS ALONE

WITH NOBODY WATCHING IS
THE BEST PART OF MY DAY.

**

BUT ONCE I START, I CAN'T STOP,

AND UNFORTUNATELY
MY ADDICTION TO FOOD

HAS ONLY GOTTEN WORSE
OVER THE YEARS.

NEVER IN MY LIFE DID I THINK
THIS IS WHERE I WOULD END UP,

AT 600 POUNDS.

**

I STARTED TO PUT ON WEIGHT
AT A YOUNG AGE.

MY CHILDHOOD WAS VERY CHAOTIC.

**

I REMEMBER FEELING LIKE OUR
FAMILY WAS DIFFERENT THAN OTHERS

BECAUSE IT WAS MY MOM
THAT WORKED

TO SUPPORT OUR FAMILY OF FOUR,

AND MY DAD WOULD GO OUT
TO THE BARS DRINKING.

**

SO, HE WASN'T REALLY AROUND MUCH

AND DIDN'T PARTICIPATE
IN OUR DAILY LIVES.

**

AND I FELT LIKE MY MOM WAS ANGRY

AND HAD A LOT OF RESENTMENT
TOWARDS HIM,

SO WHEN HE WOULD COME HOME,

THERE WAS ALWAYS
A LOT OF FIGHTING,

AND SOMETIMES IT WOULD
GET LOUD AND VIOLENT.

**

AND IF IT WEREN'T
FOR MY GRANDMA FAY,

I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ANYONE,
BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY

WHO I FEEL LIKE RAISED ME
AND TOOK CARE OF ME.

AND WHEN MY PARENTS WOULD FIGHT,

SHE WOULD TRY TO DISTRACT ME
WITH ICE CREAM,

AND I REMEMBER HOW
IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER,

AND SO SUGAR BECAME THE THING
IN MY LIFE WITH MY GRANDMOTHER

THAT I KNEW COULD
MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

WHEN I WAS AFRAID OR UPSET.

**

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 7,
I WAS AROUND 160 POUNDS.

MY MOM BEGAN TO HEAR
FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS

THAT THERE WAS
SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME,

THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM,

AND SHE FELT LIKE IT MADE HER
LOOK BAD AS A MOTHER.

SO SHE WOULD SCREAM AT ME
FOR EATING

AND TOLD ME
I WAS GETTING TOO FAT.

I STARTED TO WORRY ABOUT
ALICIA'S WEIGHT IN GRADE SCHOOL.

YOU WOULD HEAR REMARKS FROM
OTHER PEOPLE AND WONDER,

"MAYBE I SHOULD BE
MORE WORRIED THAN I AM."

I THOUGHT MAYBE SHE WOULD
OUTGROW IT, BUT SHE DIDN'T.

**

Alicia:
SO MY EATING JUST GOT WORSE

BECAUSE I WAS MORE DEPRESSED
AND I KEPT GOING,

AND I HIT 200 POUNDS
BY THE TIME I WAS 10.

AND THAT'S WHEN MY LIFE
CAME CRASHING DOWN.

**

MY GRANDMA FAY WAS DIAGNOSED
WITH LUNG CANCER,

AND I'D GO TO VISIT HER DAILY
IN THE HOSPITAL,

BUT THEN ONE DAY I COULD TELL
SHE WAS GETTING WORSE.

SHE WAS HOOKED UP
TO MORE AND MORE WIRES.

IT FREAKED ME OUT, AND I LEFT
WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO HER.

SHE PASSED AWAY THAT NIGHT.

**

SHE WAS THE PERSON I MOST LOVED,
AND I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.

I WAS SHATTERED, BUT I HAD
NO ONE AT THAT POINT.

MY MOM WAS EMBARRASSED BY ME,
AND MY DAD WAS BARELY AROUND,

AND THE ONLY PERSON
WHO HAD LOVED ME WAS GONE.

**

AND EATING NOT ONLY HELPED ME
WITH THE PAIN,

BUT IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE
MY GRANDMA WAS BACK WITH ME

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
WE SHARED TOGETHER.

**

SO I WOULD BEGIN
SNEAKING FOOD AT NIGHT.

I DIDN'T WANT MY MOM TO SEE
HOW MUCH I WAS EATING

BECAUSE SHE WAS ALREADY
EMBARRASSED OF ME,

AND I WAS EATING CONSTANTLY.

**

SO I GAINED ANOTHER 80 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS,

AND I WAS GETTING CLOSE TO 300
POUNDS BY THE TIME I WAS 14.

**

BEFORE I WENT TO BED,

I WOULD PRAY THAT
I WOULD WAKE UP SKINNY,

BUT I WAS ALWAYS THE SAME
FAT KID IN THE MORNING.

MY MOM WAS SO ASHAMED, SHE
PUT ME IN A WEIGHT-LOSS CLUB.

**

I WAS REALLY ANGRY AT MY MOM,

THAT SHE MADE ME
GO TO THOSE MEETINGS,

AND SHE WOULD SAY, "I DON'T WANT
TO GO TO THIS, EITHER.

I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU."

BUT I STARTED TO THINK THAT
THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED

TO MY MOM WAS MY WEIGHT.

I WAS JUST A NUMBER
AND NO LONGER A PERSON,

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 18,
I WAS OVER 400 POUNDS.

**

BUT MY WEIGHT NEVER
HELD ME BACK THEN.

I STILL HAD FRIENDS,
AND I'D STILL GO OUT.

I EVEN DATED, BUT THEN AT
THE END OF MY SENIOR YEAR,

A MALE FRIEND WHO I HAD ALWAYS
HAD A CRUSH ON CAME OVER,

AND WE STARTED MESSING AROUND,

AND I EVENTUALLY
TOLD HIM TO STOP,

AND HE DIDN'T STOP.

AND HE RAPED ME.

I FELT JUST REALLY
WEAK AND HELPLESS,

AND ALSO I FELT A LOT OF SHAME.

I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ONE
TO TURN TO.

WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE ME?

WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE
THAT HE RAPED YOU

BECAUSE WHY WOULD HE WANT TO?

FAT GIRLS DON'T GET RAPED.

AND SO I HID WHAT HAPPENED
FROM EVERYONE,

AND I DID WHAT I KNEW.

I ATE TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN.

**

WHEN I WAS 20, MY WEIGHT
GOT TO OVER 500 POUNDS,

AND I WAS NO LONGER ABLE TO
FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.

**

JoAnn: THIS IS NOT THE LIFE
I WANTED HER TO HAVE.

I WANTED HER TO BE HAPPY
AND ACTIVE AND HEALTHY.

SOMETIMES YOU LOSE CONTROL
OF WHAT'S GOING ON

AND YOU DON'T REALIZE IT
UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.

Alicia:
SO I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE

AND GAVE UP MY DREAM
OF BEING A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER.

I FELT LIKE A COMPLETE FAILURE.

I FELT LIKE I WAS NEVER GOING TO
HAVE A FULFILLING LIFE

AND I WAS CONTEMPLATING
SUICIDE OFTEN.

IT WOULD BE MY ESCAPE
FROM ALL THE DISAPPOINTMENTS.

I WAS TIRED OF FEELING
LIKE A FAILURE TO MY MOM,

TO MY FAMILY, AND TO MYSELF,

AND THE PAIN AND STRUGGLE
WAS BECOMING TOO MUCH,

AND I JUST WANTED TO END IT.

**

AND I THINK I WOULD
HAVE DONE THAT,

BUT THAT'S WHEN I MET TIM.

**

WE MET SIX YEARS AGO
AND WE CONNECTED QUICKLY

BECAUSE WE WERE BOTH ADDICTS.

HE WAS ADDICTED TO DRUGS.

AND SO HE UNDERSTOOD
MY ADDICTION TO FOOD

AND DIDN'T JUDGE ME.

Tim:
WHEN ALICIA AND I FIRST MET,

WHAT I DID NOTICE WAS JUST
HER CAREFREE SPIRIT, HER LAUGH,

AND HER SIZE DIDN'T BOTHER ME,

AND I REALLY LIKED
BEING WITH HER

BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS
LAUGHING AND SMILING.

BUT NOW IT'S ALMOST LIKE SHE'S
A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON.

AND OUR RELATIONSHIP
HAS GROWN STAGNANT,

AND AS TIME GOES ON,

ALICIA DOESN'T WANT TO DO
HARDLY ANYTHING AT ALL.

SHE JUST WANTS TO SIT
IN FRONT OF THE TV AND EAT,

WHICH REALLY FRUSTRATES ME

BECAUSE WE HAVE A LIFE
TO LIVE TOGETHER.

**

Alicia: TIM WAS ADDICTED
TO DRUGS, BUT HE GOT CLEAN,

AND NOW I'M THE ONE
KILLING MYSELF...

**

...BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP
MYSELF FROM EATING.

IF THERE'S ANY FOOD
IN THE HOUSE, I EAT IT,

SO WE RUN OUT OF FOOD QUICKLY.

SO WHEN TIM'S AT WORK
AND WE'RE OUT,

THE ONLY WAY I CAN EAT
IS TO GO GET IT MYSELF.

I CAN'T WAIT ALL DAY
FOR HIM TO GET HOME.

GOING TO GET FOOD IS ALMOST
THE ONLY THING

THAT GETS ME OUT OF THE HOUSE.

**

THE ONLY THING I'M REALLY
LIVING FOR AT THIS POINT

IS THE NEXT MEAL,

BUT IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME.

I AM THE HEAVIEST
I'VE EVER BEEN,

SO GETTING INTO THE CAR
IS PAINFUL AND CHALLENGING,

AND I BARELY FIT.

**

I HATE GOING TO
THE GROCERY STORE.

AND I HAVE ANXIETY
ABOUT BEING IN PUBLIC...

BECAUSE I HAVE A FEAR
OF PEOPLE JUDGING ME,

AND IF IT WASN'T TO GET FOOD
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY,

THEN I WOULD LITERALLY
NEVER GO OUT.

**

I CAN FEEL PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME.

I CAN FEEL THEIR STARES.

I FEEL LIKE AN ANIMAL
THAT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT

TO SEE WHAT I WILL
PUT IN MY CART NEXT.

BUT I IGNORE IT ALL BECAUSE
WHEN I SEE ALL THIS FOOD,

ESPECIALLY ALL THE CARBS
AND SWEETS,

IT MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY.

-HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
-WONDERFUL. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD, THANK YOU.

I GET EXCITED TO KNOW THAT I GET
TO GO HOME AND EAT THIS.

-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
-HERE YOU GO.

-HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
-YOU AS WELL.

THANK YOU.

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER,

FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A PART OF MY LIFE,

BUT NOW ALL I THINK ABOUT
IS FOOD.

IF I'M OUT, IT'S ALMOST
IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME

NOT TO STOP SOMEWHERE
AND GET SOMETHING.

IT'S OKAY.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE A REWARD.

WELL, YOU REWARD YOURSELF
BECAUSE YOU GOT OUT.

SO GOOD JOB FOR GETTING OUT,

WALKING AROUND
THE WHOLE GROCERY STORE.

NOW GET SOME FOOD.

CAN I GET TWO OF THE FIVE-PIECE
BREAST STRIP MEALS,

MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY,

AND CAN I ALSO GET NINE
OF YOUR FRIED DILL PICKLES

AND THEN SOME JALAPEÑO POPPERS?

Woman: ALL RIGHT,
IT'S GONNA BE $27.47.

THANK YOU.

I KNOW I'M EATING A LOT,
BUT MY HUNGER NEVER GOES AWAY.

AND ONCE I CRAVE SOMETHING,
I HAVE TO HAVE IT.

-HERE YOU GO.
-THANK YOU SO MUCH.

-HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
-THANK YOU. YOU TOO.

**

I FEEL AWFUL AND LIKE
A BAD PERSON FOR DOING IT,

BUT THE TRUTH IS,
I CAN'T STOP MYSELF.

I DEFINITELY ENJOY THE FOOD MORE
WHEN I KNOW NOBODY'S WATCHING

BECAUSE THEN
THERE'S NO JUDGMENT.

AND THEY TASTE REALLY GOOD
WHEN THEY'RE HOT AND FRESH.

I'M JUST GOING TO TELL TIM
THAT I GOT US

AN ORDER OF POPPERS TO SHARE.

**

I AM NOT HONEST WITH TIM
ABOUT HOW MUCH I EAT,

AND I HATE THAT
I'M LYING TO HIM.

I MEAN, TECHNICALLY,
THAT'S NOT REALLY A LIE

BECAUSE IT IS FOR US TO SHARE.

HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW MANY WERE IN THERE

TO BEGIN WITH.

**

WHEN I GET HOME, ALL I WANT TO
DO IS GET THIS FOOD IN AND EAT,

EVEN THOUGH
I JUST HAD SOMETHING.

AND I BEAT MYSELF UP
EVERY DAY ABOUT IT,

BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY,

IT IS MY CHOICES THAT HAVE
GOTTEN ME TO WHERE I AM.

BUT ONCE I GET HOME, I REWARD
MYSELF WITH ANOTHER MEAL

AND I FINISH OFF
THE REST OF THE FAST FOOD I GOT.

THERE IS AN EMPTY VOID INSIDE ME

THAT NEEDS TO BE
FILLED WITH FOOD.

**

[ DOOR OPENS ]

HEY, BABE.

HI, BABY.

YOUR DINNER'S IN THE MICROWAVE
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

THANK YOU.
I SEE THAT.

THANK YOU FOR GETTING
THAT FOR ME.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

**

Tim: ITS BEEN FRUSTRATING
WATCHING ALICIA GAIN WEIGHT

OVER THE YEARS.

WHAT SHE WAS ABLE
TO DO A YEAR AGO

SHE DEFINITELY CAN'T DO NOW.

I FEEL HELPLESS IN GETTING
ALICIA OUT OF HER ADDICTION.

I HAVEN'T CARED ABOUT ANYBODY IN
MY WHOLE LIFE LIKE I DO ALICIA.

I DON'T WANT TO WATCH
SOMEBODY I LOVE DIE.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH
SOMEBODY WHO CHOOSES TO DIE.

**

Alicia: MY ADDICTION
HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE

AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH TIM,

AND IT HAS TO BE HARD
FOR HIM TO KNOW

THAT AT THIS SIZE,
I MAY NOT HAVE MUCH LONGER,

AND I CAN'T BEAR
THE THOUGHT OF LEAVING HIM,

BUT I AM KILLING MYSELF
AND I CAN'T STOP IT.

IF I DON'T GET HELP NOW, I FEEL
LIKE THE NEXT HURDLE COULD BE

TIM TRYING TO FIND A CASKET
THAT WILL FIT MY BODY.

**

**

Alicia:
TODAY IS THE BIG DAY.

TIM AND I WILL BE MAKING
THE LONG DRIVE TO HOUSTON

TO SEE DR. NOW.

**

AND I'M VERY NERVOUS
AND ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW.

Tim: ALL RIGHT.
I GOT MY BAG LOADED.

-YOU READY?
-YEAH.

WILL YOU HAND ME
MY PURSE AND ALL?

YEAH.

BUT I HAVE TIM BY MY SIDE,

SO I FEEL LIKE I AT LEAST HAVE
A FIGHTING CHANCE TO MAKE IT.

**

-GOOD LUCK.
-YEAH. I'LL BE BACK IN FOR YOU.

-ALL RIGHT?
-OKAY.

BUT MY REAL CONCERN
IS THE EFFECT

THAT THIS TRIP
WILL HAVE ON MY BODY.

Tim: I'M REALLY NERVOUS
ABOUT THE DRIVE TODAY.

ALICIA, I DON'T THINK SHE'S
EVEN PROBABLY PREPARED

FOR HOW SHE'S GOING TO FEEL.

AND SO IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH
FOR HER DOING THIS DRIVE.

ALL RIGHT, BOO.
YOU READY TO GO?

-YEAH.
-CAR'S ALL PACKED UP.

ALL RIGHT.

Alicia: I KNOW THAT THIS IS
GOING TO BE A LONG TRIP.

IT'S GOING TO TAKE
A LOT OUT OF ME

JUST BEING IN THE CAR
KIND OF CRAMMED UP.

IT'S ALWAYS HARD ON MY FEET
AND MY ANKLES ESPECIALLY.

FOR A REGULAR PERSON, THE TRIP
FROM ILLINOIS TO HOUSTON

COULD BE DONE IN ONE DAY,

BUT IT WILL PROBABLY
TAKE US TWO,

AND WE WILL NEED TO MAKE STOPS

SO I CAN TAKE BREAKS
TO STRETCH OUT.

**

Tim: ALICIA'S HEALTH
IS RIDING ON THIS TRIP

AND WHAT THE DOCTOR HAS TO SAY.

I HOPE THE DOCTOR SAYS,
"LET'S DO THIS."

I THINK IF HE SAYS
HE CAN'T HELP HER

THAT IT WOULD BE
DEVASTATING FOR BOTH OF US.

Alicia: HEY, BABE, I'D REALLY
LIKE TO STOP SOON,

SO MAYBE, LIKE, THE NEXT PLACE
YOU SEE WE COULD STOP

AND JUST GET OUT
AND STRETCH FOR A MINUTE?

OF COURSE.
I THINK THAT'D BE GOOD FOR YOU.

Alicia: I DON'T LIKE TO BURDEN
TIM WITH MY PAIN,

AND I HAVE A TENDENCY
TO INTERNALIZE

AND HOLD IT IN UNTIL
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I KNOW HE DOESN'T THINK THIS,
BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT

HOW A FAT GIRL IS HURTING.

AND I HAVE CONDITIONED
MYSELF TO THINK

AND FEEL THAT WAY FOR SO LONG.

I JUST DON'T WANT
TO BE A BURDEN.

**

-MY FOOT REALLY HURTS.
-LOOK. LET ME RUB IT.

Tim:
THIS SIDE OVER HERE?

ALL RIGHT THERE?
YEAH. IT SURE LOOKS BRUISED.

LET ME SEE THAT.

I'M SO SORRY, BABE.

TIM HAS BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE
FOR A LONG TIME.

BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT
THIS IS HARD FOR HIM, TOO.

WE DON'T HAVE THE KIND OF
PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP

THAT HE WOULD LIKE

AND ALSO THAT I WOULD
LIKE TO HAVE.

I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT THAT.

Tim: YOU'RE DOING GOOD.
YOU'RE DOING GOOD.

I WANT TO GIVE HIM A LIFE
THAT I KNOW HE DESERVES,

THAT WE DESERVE.

**

BUT I'M AFRAID THAT I WON'T BE
AROUND LONG ENOUGH

FOR THAT TO HAPPEN.

**

WE MADE IT TO TEXAS.

**

MY BODY IS HURTING
FROM ALL THIS DRIVING.

**

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO LAY DOWN
AND STRETCH OUT.

I AM SO HAPPY TO FINALLY BE
AT A HOTEL

AND TO GET OUT OF THIS CAR.

**

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING
A GOOD NIGHT'S REST

AND GETTING BACK ON THE ROAD
TO SEE DR. NOW IN THE MORNING.

**

TODAY I'M MEETING DR. NOW
FOR THE FIRST TIME,

AND AS I GET CLOSER TO HOUSTON,

I'M FEELING REALLY NERVOUS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT
WHEN WE GET THERE,

AND I'M WORRIED THAT MY WEIGHT
IS TOO OUT OF CONTROL.

SO I'M SCARED THAT WE MIGHT HAVE
COME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING.

**

TIM HAS TAKEN NEARLY
A WEEK OFF OF WORK

TO MAKE THIS TRIP WITH ME.

**

IT'S SUCH A SACRIFICE,
AND I AM SO GRATEFUL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD
DO WITHOUT HIM.

I REALLY WANT THIS,
AND IF DR. NOW CAN'T HELP ME,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT OPTIONS
I HAVE LEFT,

SO I JUST HOPE THAT HE'S WILLING
TO GIVE ME A CHANCE

TO PROVE MYSELF TO HIM.

ALICIA KIRGAN.

Alicia: RIGHT NOW, I HAVE
THAT SAME ANXIOUS FEELING

THAT I WOULD GET
WHEN I WAS A KID

AND MY MOM WOULD TAKE ME
TO FAT CLINICS.

THE FIRST THING THEY WOULD
ALWAYS DO IS WEIGH ME,

BUT I WOULD WEIGH MORE
AND MORE EACH TIME

AND ALWAYS FELT ASHAMED.

AND I REMEMBER THE
DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY MOM'S EYES.

I DON'T WANT TO FEEL
THAT DISAPPOINTMENT AGAIN.

**

WOW.

SEEING THAT NUMBER ON
THE SCALE, IT'S HARD.

I MEAN, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT
A NUMBER THAT I'M PROUD OF,

AND IT'S EMBARRASSING,

AND I FEEL SHAMEFUL TO HAVE
LET IT GET THAT BAD.

**

-HELLO.
-HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY.
HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

-DOING GREAT.
-ALL RIGHT.

I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.

-IT'S WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU.
-NICE TO MEET YOU.

THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, TIM.

NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.

-AND YOUR NAME?
-TIM.

TIM, TIM, OKAY,
NICE TO MEET YOU.

ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU ARE 622 POUNDS?

-YES.
-AND YOU'RE ONLY 5'3".

YES.

SO, 600 POUNDS ON A PERSON
AT YOUR HEIGHT

IS COMPARABLE TO BEING
OVER 800 POUNDS

FOR A PERSON
OF AVERAGE HEIGHT.

WOW.

SO THAT'S A LOT OF WEIGHT
ON YOUR BODY.

-YOU'RE 32?
-YES.

OKAY, SO YOU HAVE TO KNOW

THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
LAST LIKE THIS.

I KNOW.

I DON'T IMAGINE I WOULD
BE ABLE TO MAKE IT TO 40.

WELL, I HAVE TO
AGREE WITH YOU.

SO WHAT DO YOUR
EATING HABITS LOOK LIKE?

I HAVE A TENDENCY
TO BINGE ON DINNER

AND THEN PRETTY MUCH SNACK

FOR MOST OF THE NIGHT
UNTIL I GO TO BED.

SNACKING ON WHAT?

CHIPS, COOKIES, SWEETS,
PRETTY MUCH ALL THE CARBS.

SO WHO BUYS THOSE?

I DO.

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME
TIM DOESN'T FEED YOU

AND THAT YOU DON'T NEED AN
ENABLER TO GAIN LIKE YOU HAVE?

NO. I PREFER TO EAT ALONE
WHEN PEOPLE DON'T KNOW.

SO HOW ARE YOU GAINING ALL
THIS WEIGHT ON YOUR OWN?

I'LL SNACK WHEN
MY BOYFRIEND'S ASLEEP

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
WHERE I FEEL LIKE

I'M NOT BEING JUDGED
OR WATCHED.

OKAY, SO HOW ARE YOU
SUPPORTING YOUR EATING HABIT?

MY BOYFRIEND DOES WORK,
SO HE'S THE ONE

THAT KIND OF PAYS
FOR THE GROCERIES,

BUT I GO AND GET THEM.

SO YOU EAT LATE AT NIGHT AND YOU
EAT A LOT OF HIGH-CALORIE FOOD?

YES.

OKAY, SO, ALICIA, THIS IS
WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.

UH-HUH.

I'M GIVING YOU 1,200-CALORIE,
HIGH-PROTEIN, LOW-CARB DIET

WITH LIST OF FOOD
YOU CAN EAT AND FOOD YOU CAN'T.

OKAY.

NO SWEETS,
NO SUGARY DRINKS,

AND I WANT YOU TO LOSE 50 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT MONTH, OKAY?

OKAY.

THEN I'LL APPROVE YOU
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

OKAY.

BUT EVEN IF YOU GET
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

WE STILL HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

FOR NOW, I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME
THAT YOU'RE WILLING

AND ABLE TO START
MAKING THE CHOICES

YOU NEED TO DO THIS, OKAY?

OKAY.

I MAY HAVE A DIFFICULT
ISSUE HERE WITH ALICIA.

IT'S NOT LIKELY THAT SHE IS
AT THIS WEIGHT

AND THAT THERE IS
NO ENABLING GOING ON,

BUT IF THE PEOPLE LIVING
WITH SOMEONE WHO IS 600 POUNDS

AREN'T HELPING TO CHANGE
THEIR SITUATION,

THEN THEY ARE ENABLING IT.

SO I'M CONCERNED
SHE'S HIDING THINGS FROM ME,

AND MAYBE SHE AND HER BOYFRIEND
DON'T SEE THE ENABLING DYNAMIC.

BOTH THOSE SCENARIOS
ARE AN ISSUE

THAT WOULD MAKE IT
MORE DIFFICULT

TO START TO DEAL
WITH HER EATING HABITS,

BUT IF SHE SAYS
SHE'S THE ONE DOING IT,

THEN SHE'S THE ONE
THAT CAN CHANGE IT.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE
ALL THOSE CHANGES?

YES.
I HAVE TO.

ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU MOTIVATED
TO DO THIS, ALICIA?

YES.

THEN WHAT'S
YOUR MOTIVATION?

MY MOTIVATION
IS MY BOYFRIEND, TIM.

OKAY.

I WANT TO BE AN ACTIVE PARTNER
FOR HIM,

AND AT MY SIZE NOW,
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BE.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A GOOD MOTIVATOR,

SO SHOW ME
YOU CAN DO THIS, OKAY?

OKAY.

AND THEN WE'LL CONSIDER YOU
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

BUT THEN YOU'LL BOTH NEED TO
MOVE TO TEXAS FOR A BIT.

-YES.
-ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO SEE YOU IN ONE
MONTH, 50 POUNDS LIGHTER, OKAY?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
-OKAY.

**

THIS IS
GOING TO BE HARD.

-WELL, YOU KNEW THAT.
-YEAH.

-NOW IT'S REAL.
-YEAH.

IT'S THE CHANCE OF
YOUR LIFETIME, RIGHT...

-YEAH.
-...TO MAKE IT RIGHT?

YEAH.

-I LOVE YOU.
-I LOVE YOU.

GOOD JOB.
WAY TO BE BRAVE AND STRONG.

A PART OF ME ALWAYS KNEW
THAT AT THIS SIZE,

I WOULDN'T MAKE IT TO 40.

BUT WHEN DR. NOW CONFIRMED
MY FEAR, IT BECAME REAL.

I HAVE ONE MONTH
TO LOSE 50 POUNDS,

AND IT'S GOING TO BE
A CHALLENGE,

BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT
I HAVE TO MAKE CHANGES

BECAUSE I CAN'T CONTINUE
TO LIVE LIKE THIS.

**

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE
HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE,

BUT I HAVE TO DO IT
BECAUSE MY LIFE IS ON THE LINE.

**

**

Alicia: IT'S BEEN A MONTH
SINCE I SAW DR. NOW,

AND THIS HAS BEEN
THE LONGEST MONTH OF MY LIFE.

**

MY WHOLE LIFE, I'VE WOKEN UP
AND BEEN EXCITED

ABOUT WHAT I COULD EAT
FOR BREAKFAST,

BUT THAT EXCITEMENT IS GONE NOW.

**

FOR BREAKFAST,
INSTEAD OF DOUGHNUTS,

I'M HAVING A PROTEIN SHAKE.

THE SHAKES ARE A GOOD WAY
TO CONTROL MY CALORIES.

AND I REALLY FIND THAT THE LESS

I HAVE TO KIND OF
THINK ABOUT IT,

THE EASIER IT IS TO DO IT

WITHOUT MAKING AN EXCUSE
TO CHEAT OR TO GIVE IN,

BECAUSE CRAVINGS COME UP
ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY.

I THINK THIS IS THE LONGEST
I'VE EVER GONE, MY ENTIRE LIFE,

WITHOUT HAVING
SUGAR FOR BREAKFAST.

**

I DEFINITELY MISS FOOD.

GET IN YOUR CHAIR.

AND NOT SNACKING
HAS BEEN REALLY HARD.

**

BUT THE HARDEST PART IS
GETTING OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD.

AFTER THE FIRST WEEK, I STARTED
HAVING DREAMS OF EATING CARBS.

SOME DAYS I'M LIKE,
"GOD, I JUST WISH

I COULD HAVE, LIKE, A CARROT.

LIKE, I JUST WANT
SOMETHING TO SNACK ON."

I THOUGHT I KNEW HOW HARD
THIS WAS GOING TO BE,

BUT I HAD NO IDEA.

I'M ASHAMED OF HOW MUCH
I MISS FOOD,

AND THE SHAME MAKES ME
FEEL EVEN WORSE.

**

AND IT DOESN'T HELP THAT I SPEND
ALL DAY BY MYSELF

WHILE TIM IS GONE.

**

SINCE I SAW DR. NOW,
MY DIET IS GOING WELL.

FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH,
I ONLY HAVE PROTEIN SHAKES.

BUT I TRY TO ALWAYS HAVE
A REAL DINNER FOR TIM AND I.

I'M EATING TO JUST LIVE NOW
INSTEAD OF EATING FOR FUN.

AND THAT'S DEFINITELY BEEN A
CHANGE, BUT I TRY TO FIND THINGS

THAT ARE STILL ENJOYABLE
BUT HEALTHY.

HOW LONG WE GOT?

JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER.

YEAH?

JUST LETTING IT
SIMMER TOGETHER.

OKAY. YOU SURE YOU DON'T
NEED ANY HELP?

NO.

**

I'M HOPING THAT IF I LOSE
THE 50 POUNDS DR. NOW WANTS,

HE'LL TELL ME TO MOVE TO HOUSTON
AND APPROVE ME FOR SURGERY.

**

TIM WORKS SO MUCH AND GOES
TO BED SO EARLY,

DINNER IS ABOUT THE ONLY TIME
WE GET TO SPEND TOGETHER.

**

I WANT US TO ENJOY OUR HOME
AS MUCH AS WE CAN

BEFORE WE HAVE TO
LEAVE IT BEHIND.

OH!
THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Tim: I WOULD DESCRIBE ALICIA
AND I'S RELATIONSHIP,

AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME,
AS STRAINED.

I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD
BRING US CLOSER,

BUT RIGHT NOW IT FEELS LIKE
WE'RE MORE DRIFTING APART

THAN GETTING CLOSER.

SHE'S DEFINITELY SUBDUED BECAUSE
WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH.

SHE'S PRETTY QUIET THESE DAYS.

I THINK BEING HUNGRY
AND NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT

THE THINGS SHE WANTS
HAS BEEN HARD ON HER.

**

I HATE TO SEE YOU
BEING DISTANT FROM ME,

AS I'M NOT USED TO THAT.

I MEAN, IN ALL HONESTY,
RIGHT NOW,

I REALLY HAVE TO BE
FOCUSED ON MYSELF,

SO I KIND OF HAVE TO
PUT A DISTANCE.

WELL, YOU'RE PRETTY STRONG
TO PUT ME OUT OF YOUR MIND.

IT'S HARD.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT EASY.

Alicia: WITH TIM AND I, THERE'S
BEEN A LOT OF NOT REALLY KNOWING

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT,

BUT DINNER IS REALLY
THE ONE TIME OF DAY

THAT WE GET TO SPEND TOGETHER,
AND NOW, BECAUSE OF THIS DIET,

I DON'T ENJOY IT
AS MUCH AS I USED TO.

**

THANK YOU.

IF DR. NOW TAKES ME ON AS
A PATIENT, WOULD YOU BE EXCITED?

YEAH, I'M EXCITED
TO SEE YOU GET HEALTHY

AND BE ABLE TO DO

ALL THE DIFFERENT THINGS
THAT YOU WANT TO DO

AND WHAT WE WANT
TO DO TOGETHER.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DO WITH ME?

I MEAN, BASICALLY,
IT JUST COMES DOWN TO, LIKE,

BEING ABLE, LIKE,

TO GO OUT AND FEEL COMFORTABLE
BEING AROUND PEOPLE

AND NOT WORRIED ABOUT,
LIKE,

WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING
OR SAYING ABOUT ME

AND JUST FEELING COMFORTABLE,
REALLY, IN MY OWN SKIN

AND ALL THE STUFF
THAT I LOOK FORWARD TO

ONCE I CAN
GET MY WEIGHT DOWN.

WELL, IT'S GOING TO BE EXCITING
AND SCARY FOR THE BOTH OF US.

YEAH.

Tim: MY HOPES ARE FOR US TO HAVE
A BETTER RELATIONSHIP.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SMILE
AND LAUGH AND LIVE LIFE

TOGETHER LIKE ALL
THE OTHER COUPLES.

**

Alicia: THERE IS SO MUCH
THAT TIM AND I

HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO
BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

IF I'M GOING TO HAVE
A FUTURE WITH TIM,

I HAVE TO SEE THIS THROUGH
AND HOPE THAT,

WHEN I SEE DR. NOW NEXT,
HE APPROVES ME FOR SURGERY.

**

**

TODAY, I AM HEADED
TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN

FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT

TO SEE HOW I HAVE
PROGRESSED WITH MY DIET.

DR. NOW WANTED ME TO LOSE
50 POUNDS IN A MONTH.

**

I'VE DEFINITELY
TRIED MY HARDEST.

IT'S BEEN REALLY FRUSTRATING

BECAUSE IT'S BEEN
LIKE PULLING TEETH AND NAILS

TO GET EVERY POUND OFF.

BUT I'VE DONE WHAT I WAS
SUPPOSED TO DO,

SO IT WOULD BE DEVASTATING
IF I MISSED MY GOAL.

**

-LET ME GET THAT DOOR FOR YOU.
-THANKS, BABE.

Woman: ALICIA KIRGAN.

Alicia: I'M WORRIED WHAT NUMBER
I'M GOING TO SEE ON THE SCALE.

WHAT IF I DIDN'T LOSE 50 POUNDS,
AND HE DOESN'T APPROVE ME TODAY?

WHAT IF HE THINKS
I'M NOT SERIOUS

AND DROPS ME AS A PATIENT?

**

WHAT IF EVERYTHING
I'VE SACRIFICED

AND TIM HAS SACRIFICED
IS FOR NOTHING?

**

I'M DISAPPOINTED.

THE GOAL WAS 50, SO TO NOT REACH
IT IS A LITTLE DISHEARTENING.

SO I'M JUST REALLY NERVOUS
AND ANXIOUS

ABOUT WHAT THE DOCTOR WILL SAY
ABOUT MISSING THE GOAL,

BUT I DEFINITELY
TRIED MY HARDEST.

**

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HELLO.
-HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY.
HOW ABOUT YOURSELF?

DOING ALL RIGHT.

SO YOU ONLY LOST 18 POUNDS
THIS PAST MONTH.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

I FELT LIKE I DID REALLY WELL
THE FIRST WEEK.

BUT I ALSO FELT REALLY DEPRESSED
AFTER THE FIRST WEEK.

SO YOU STARTED THE DIET,
THEN GOT DEPRESSED,

SO YOU DID WHAT
MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY

AND STARTED
OVEREATING AGAIN, HUH?

YEAH.

EVEN THOUGH
IT'S KILLING YOU.

I FEEL LIKE MY PORTIONS
WERE PROBABLY TOO LARGE.

SO TO TRY TO CUT BACK
ON MY PORTIONS,

I STARTED DOING A PROTEIN SHAKE
IN THE MORNING AND AFTERNOON

AND THEN JUST HAVING DINNER TO
TRY TO HELP REIN IN MY PORTIONS.

OKAY,
THAT WASN'T THE DIET.

MNH-MNH.

THAT WAS A DIET
YOU INVENTED.

WHY DID YOU COME HERE IF YOU
JUST WANT TO TRY YOUR OWN PLAN?

THAT HASN'T WORKED SO FAR.

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT
IT'S GOING TO WORK NOW?

SO YOU'RE STILL OVEREATING,

JUST INSTEAD OF 8,000
TO 10,000 CALORIES A DAY,

YOU'RE EATING 6,000
OR 7,000 CALORIES.

YOUR DIET
IS 1,200 CALORIES A DAY,

NO EXCEPTIONS,
YOU UNDERSTAND?

MM-HMM.

IT'S SOUNDS LIKE ALICIA
COULDN'T EVEN GO A WEEK

WITHOUT RUNNING TO FOOD.

SO SHE NEEDS TO TRY AGAIN
TO HIT HER GOAL,

AND I WANT HER TO MAINTAIN
POSITIVE PROGRESS FOR TWO MONTHS

TO SHOW ME SHE'S WILLING
AND ABLE TO CONTROL HERSELF.

OKAY, ALICIA, YOU DIDN'T HIT
YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL,

SO YOU'RE NOT APPROVED

FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
AT THIS POINT,

BUT THIS IS WHAT
I WANT YOU TO DO.

I WANT YOU TO LOSE 70 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT 2 MONTHS.

OKAY.

NO MORE INVENTING
NEW DIETS, OKAY?

OKAY.

THEN I WANT YOU TO MOVE
TO HOUSTON, OKAY?

THANK YOU.

AND, TIM, HAVEN'T YOU
HEARD IT SAID

THAT IF YOU'RE NOT
PART OF SOLUTION,

THEN YOU'RE PART
OF THE PROBLEM?

SO LET'S DO BETTER
AT THAT, OKAY?

YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL
AT YOUR HEIGHT

WOULD BE 120
TO 130 POUNDS.

SO WE'VE GOT A LONG WAY
TO GO.

YES.

I'LL LOOK FORWARD TO
SEEING YOU IN HOUSTON.

ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

**

HOUSTON-BOUND.

YEAH, LOOKS LIKE.

**

TO HEAR DR. NOW TELL ME
THAT HE'S READY FOR ME

TO MOVE TO HOUSTON

AND TO CONTINUE WITH
THE PROGRAM IS EXCITING,

AND IT DOES FEEL LIKE
YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.

BUT HE DID SAY TO LOSE
ANOTHER 70 POUNDS,

AND I'M A LITTLE AFRAID
I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

AND THE THOUGHT OF MOVING AWAY
FROM MY FAMILY AND HOME

IS REALLY SCARY,

BUT IT'S EXCITING TO START
THIS NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE.

**

I BELIEVE THIS IS
THE BEST THING FOR ME,

AND I THINK THAT, IN THE END,
IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT.

AND I JUST HOPE IT'LL BE
WORTH IT FOR TIM, TOO

BECAUSE I'M ASKING HIM TO CHANGE
HIS ENTIRE LIFE FOR ME.

**

**

Alicia: IT'S BEEN A COUPLE WEEKS

SINCE MY LAST APPOINTMENT
WITH DR. NOW,

AND TIM AND I ARE PACKING UP
TO MAKE THE BIG MOVE TO HOUSTON.

TIM DROPPED OFF OUR DOG
WITH MY PARENTS THIS MORNING,

AND THE REALITY OF OUR MOVE
FINALLY SUNK IN.

THIS IS DEFINITELY
A HUGE DEAL FOR ME.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANY KIND
OF REAL DISTANCE

AWAY FROM MY FAMILY.

NOT HAVING MY FAMILY
AND MY SUPPORT IS SCARY

WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY
GIVEN UP THE SUPPORT

AND COMFORT OF THE FOOD
YOU USED TO GO TO.

SO IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE I'M,
LIKE, LOSING ALL MY COMFORT.

SO THAT'S KIND OF HARD
AND KIND OF SCARY,

BUT I JUST KNOW THAT,
IN THE END,

IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH IT.

I KNOW IT'S WHAT I HAVE TO DO
RIGHT NOW.

**

BUT TO MAKE THIS ALL EVEN WORSE,

TIM AND I HAVE TO DRIVE
SEPARATELY.

BECAUSE TIM WILL HAVE TO WORK IN
HOUSTON, HE'LL NEED HIS OWN CAR.

OKAY, I'M ALL SET.

-OKAY.
-BE CAREFUL.

OKAY, LOVE YOU.

OH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, MAN,
YOU ARE 1,000 DEGREES.

I KNOW.
I'M SO HOT.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, BABE.
ALL RIGHT.

Tim: I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ALICIA
HAS EVER DRIVEN THIS FAR.

I'M HOPING THE DRIVE GOES WELL.

I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT
WHAT IF IT DOESN'T

'CAUSE I JUST WANT
TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT IT.

**

Alicia: I'M WORRIED BECAUSE THIS
IS GOING TO BE SO HARD ON ME.

IT'S GOING TO BE
TWO DAYS OF DRIVING,

AND I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW
MY BODY IS GOING TO TAKE IT.

ALL 13 TO 14 HOURS,
AND I JUST HOPE I CAN DO IT.

**

**

BUT I'M REALLY SCARED
TO BE DRIVING THIS TIME.

I JUST HOPE I MAKE IT.

**

THIS TRIP HAS BEEN REALLY LONG,

BUT I'VE HAD NO MAJOR
INCIDENTS SO FAR.

**

WE'RE ALMOST TO HOUSTON,

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GET
OUT OF THIS CAR

AND TO BE DONE
WITH ALL THIS DRIVING.

**

I'M ALSO STARVING
BECAUSE I'VE SKIPPED

ALL THE JUNK FOOD ON THE ROAD,

SO I'M READY TO GET TO THE HOUSE
WE'RE RENTING IN HOUSTON.

IT'S FULLY FURNISHED,
SO ALL WE HAVE TO DO

IS TAKE IN OUR STUFF WE HAVE.

SO I JUST WANT TO GET THERE,
REST, AND EAT FINALLY.

**

IT'S EXCITING, BUT THERE'S FEAR

THAT COMES ALONG
WITH ANY UNKNOWNS.

IT'S ALSO A LITTLE SURREAL
THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY ALMOST THERE

AND THAT THIS IS
ACTUALLY ALL HAPPENING.

**

IT MAKES ME A LITTLE SCARED.

**

WE'RE HERE.

WHEW. WE MADE IT.

-I'M GONNA GET THIS UNLOCKED.
-OKAY.

**

YOU KNOW, IT'S A BIG RELIEF
TO JUST FINALLY BE HERE

AND BE ABLE TO KIND OF SETTLE IN
AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

I AM EXHAUSTED.

IT WAS A VERY LONG DRIVE.

BUT I'M REALLY EXCITED TO DO

WHATEVER DR. NOWZARADAN
NEEDS ME TO DO.

**

BUT WHAT IF I FAIL,
AND WHAT IF I CAN'T DO THIS?

WHAT IF WE'VE DONE
ALL OF THIS FOR NOTHING?

SO I HAVE TO KEEP LEAPING
INTO THE UNKNOWN

IF I WANT TO DO THIS
AND SAVE MY LIFE.

**

**

TIM AND I HAVE BEEN HERE
IN HOUSTON FOR A MONTH,

AND WE'RE SETTLING IN.

I DON'T HAVE A LOT
OF MY STUFF HERE,

SO IT'S EASY TO KEEP
THE PLACE CLEAN.

**

AND IT'S BEEN GOOD NOT HAVING
MY USUAL ROUTINE OF PLACES

THAT REALLY TRIGGERED MY HUNGER,

SO THERE'S A LOT
LESS TEMPTATION HERE,

BUT I STILL WORRY THAT I'M NOT
GOING TO MEET THE GOAL

DR. NOW SET AT MY LAST VISIT.

THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM,

HE GAVE ME THE GOAL
OF LOSING 70 POUNDS

BY THE NEXT APPOINTMENT.

I KNOW DR. NOW WANTS ME TO EAT
THREE TIMES A DAY,

BUT I USUALLY SKIP BREAKFAST.

I WOULD PREFER
A LARGER MEAL AT DINNER

BECAUSE IF I FEEL
FULLER AT NIGHT,

THEN IT HELPS ME TO NOT FEEL
THE NEED TO SNACK.

I FEEL PRESSURE
TO PROVE TO DR. NOW

THAT I'M WORTH HIS EFFORT
AND I'M WORTH HIS EXPERTISE.

I DEFINITELY WANT HIM
TO APPROVE ME

AND TO GET THE SURGERY
AS SOON AS I CAN

SO THAT I CAN START
EXPERIENCING LIFE

AND START REALLY DOING THINGS.

SO I HAVE TO DO IT.

**

YOU WANT TO SIT BY ME?

-YEAH, I GUESS.
-[ LAUGHS ]

-WANT A BITE?
-NO.

JUST HAMBURGER
AND SALAD?

DO YOU FEEL THAT'S
THE CORRECT PORTIONS STILL?

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN
STRUGGLING WITH YOUR PORTIONS.

I MEAN,
I FEEL LIKE IT'S OKAY.

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THE PATTIES.

LIKE, I DON'T KNOW IF
I REALLY NEED TWO BURGERS.

I GET FRUSTRATED BECAUSE
NOT ONLY CAN I NOT HAVE

THE TYPE OF FOOD I WANT TO EAT,

BUT I CAN'T HAVE AS MUCH OF IT
AS I WANT, EITHER.

IS THAT 400 CALORIES?

**

Tim: ALICIA GETS REALLY UPSET
WHEN I TRY TO TALK TO HER

ABOUT THESE THINGS,

BUT I'M GOING TO TELL HER

IF I THINK THAT SHE'S NOT DOING
THE RIGHT THINGS

EVEN IF IT DOES HURT
HER FEELINGS.

PORTION CONTROL IS
YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE, I THINK.

DON'T THINK BAD ABOUT ME
IF I BRING THAT UP.

BECAUSE YOU'RE SO SENSITIVE
ABOUT THINGS,

IT'S SO HARD FOR ME
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING.

IT REALLY IS.

Alicia: I FELL PRESSURE
TO NOT DISAPPOINT ANYONE,

BUT I DEFINITELY FEEL PRESSURE
NOT TO DISAPPOINT TIM.

HE DID UPROOT HIS LIFE
TO BE HERE WITH ME,

SO I DON'T WANT TO LET HIM DOWN,

AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO FEEL
LIKE THIS WAS FOR NOTHING

BECAUSE
IF NOTHING COMES OF THIS,

I'M REALLY AFRAID OF WHAT
THAT MEANS FOR OUR FUTURE.

**

**

Alicia: SINCE MOVING TO HOUSTON,
IT HASN'T ALL BEEN EASY,

BUT I THINK GOOD THINGS
ARE HAPPENING.

BEING AWAY FROM HOME,

I'M DEFINITELY STARTING
TO FEEL AN IMPROVEMENT,

BUT IT DEFINITELY
IS STILL A STRUGGLE.

THE BIGGEST STRUGGLE RIGHT NOW
IS THE LONELINESS HERE.

TIM GOT A JOB DOING CONSTRUCTION
LIKE HE WAS BACK HOME,

SO HE'S GONE ALMOST ALL DAY,
AND I'M HERE ALONE.

AND IT'S HARD WITH NO ONE ELSE
I KNOW TO COME SEE ME.

AND WHEN I FEEL LIKE TIM'S
UPSET WITH ME OR I LET HIM DOWN,

I HAVE NO ONE TO SHARE
THAT EMOTION WITH

EXCEPT MAYBE MY MOM.

[ Ringing ]

JoAnn: HELLO?

OH, HEY, MOM!

-HI!
-HOW'S IT GOING?

OKAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

GOOD.

OH, I'M JUST TRYING TO GET
THIS WEIGHT OFF.

YOU KNOW, IT'S TOUGH.

I FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT'S
NOT COMING OFF

LIKE IT DID
THE FIRST MONTH,

AND THAT'S FRUSTRATING,
ESPECIALLY SINCE I FEEL LIKE

I DO A LOT MORE ACTIVITY NOW
THAN I DID THE FIRST MONTH.

WELL, I'M WORRIED THAT HE WANTED
YOU TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT,

AND I'M WORRIED THAT
HE'LL POSTPONE THE SURGERY.

-YEAH.
-I DON'T WANT YOU TO GIVE UP.

-YEAH.
-I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

YOU AND ME BOTH.

WELL, IT WAS GOOD
TALKING TO YOU, MOM.

I LOVE YOU, AND I'LL TALK
TO YOU LATER.

LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.

MWAH!

**

SOMETIMES TALKING TO MY MOM
IS A MIXED BLESSING.

I KNOW SHE'S TRYING
TO ENCOURAGE ME,

BUT I DON'T KNOW IF SHE REALIZES
HOW SHE MAKES ME FEEL.

MY MOM HAS NEVER SAID,
"YOU HAVE TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT

OR I WON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE,"

BUT SOMETIMES I THINK
THAT'S HOW SHE FEELS.

I CAN'T LET MY MOM
GET ME DOWN, THOUGH,

BECAUSE I DO WANT
TO FINISH THIS JOURNEY

AND PROVE TO MY MOM
THAT ALL THIS WORK,

EFFORT, AND TIME AWAY FROM HER
WAS WORTH IT.

**

I AM ON MY WAY TO SEE
DR. NOWZARADAN

FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT.

AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT,
I LOST 18 POUNDS.

DR. NOW SAID I NEEDED
TO LOSE 70 POUNDS

OVER THESE PAST 2 MONTHS
TO GET DOWN TO 534 TODAY.

ALL I WANT
IS TO HEAR DR. NOW SAY,

"YOU'RE APPROVED,
AND HERE'S YOUR SURGERY DATE."

**

I JUST WANT TO KNOW
THAT THERE IS AN END

TO THIS JOURNEY FOR TIM AND ME.

IT HAS BEEN STRESSFUL ON TIM
AND ME TO BE SO FAR FROM HOME,

SO KNOWING THAT THERE'S
A DEFINITE PATH FORWARD

WILL MAKE THINGS SO MUCH EASIER.

ALICIA KIRGAN.

GO AHEAD.

Alicia: I HATE GETTING ON A
SCALE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

**

IT WAS HORRIBLE WHEN I WOULD
GET WEIGHED AT FAT GROUPS

WHEN I WAS A KID,
AND IT'S HORRIBLE NOW.

**

THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE
TO THE GOAL.

I FEEL LIKE
I'VE LET MYSELF DOWN,

AND, WORSE, I FEEL LIKE
I'VE LET TIM DOWN.

**

IT FEELS FRUSTRATING
TO NOT REACH THE GOAL

AND DEFINITELY TO NOT
REACH IT BY SO MUCH.

**

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
COME IN.

-HELLO.
-HELLO.

-HOW YOU ALL DOING?
-GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT. SO YOU'VE HAD
TWO MONTHS THIS TIME,

AND YOU DID WORSE.

YOU ONLY LOST 14 POUNDS.

WITH THE MOVE, I THINK I GAVE
MYSELF KIND OF SOME EXCUSES

THAT THE PACKING AND THE MOVING
WAS ENOUGH EXERCISE.

WELL, HAVING THINGS
GOING ON IS CALLED LIFE.

THERE IS ALWAYS
GOING TO BE STRESS

AND A LOT OF THINGS
GOING ON,

AND IF YOU'RE WAITING
FOR ALL THAT TO GO AWAY,

THEN YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO
MAKE ANY PROGRESS.

SO LET'S TALK ABOUT
COUPLE THINGS.

FIRST, WHAT SEEMS TO BE
THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE

YOU HAVE WITH THIS DIET?

THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE FOR ME
IS MY PORTION CONTROL.

I THINK THAT I STILL
SOMETIMES IN MY MIND

FEEL LIKE I NEED MORE
THAN I DO.

LIKE, MY MIND IS STILL
TELLING ME, LIKE,

"THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD."

YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT,
"THIS IS ALL I'M GONNA GET."

YEAH, LIKE IT'S A LAST MEAL.
I'M LIKE, "OH, THAT'S NOT --"

SHE DOESN'T SNACK AT ALL,
SO SHE FEELS,

"THIS IS ALL
I'M GOING TO GET,"

SO SHE MAKES THE PORTION
THEN BIGGER FOR THE DINNER.

NO, THAT'S WRONG, TIM.

IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK
SHE'S NOT SNACKING,

THEN SHE'S HIDING IT
FROM YOU.

SHE'S STILL AT LEAST TAKING IN
6,000 TO 8,000 CALORIES,

MAYBE MORE.

SO YOU BOTH ARE
PLAYING A GAME HERE.

YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY THINK YOU'RE
NOT EATING ENOUGH, ALICIA.

SO YOU BOTH ARE MAKING
EXCUSES FOR THIS.

OKAY.

BUT IF YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT
USING PROPER JUDGMENT EATING,

THEN LET'S EDUCATE YOU.

I'M GOING TO SEND
A DIETITIAN TO YOUR HOME

AND GET YOU SOME GUIDANCE
IN THE CHOICES YOU'RE MAKING.

YEAH, I THINK
THAT WOULD HELP.

I WANT YOU
TO HIT YOUR GOAL

OF LOSING 45 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT MONTH.

IF YOU WANT TO GET APPROVED
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE,
ALICIA.

-THANK YOU.
-ANY QUESTIONS?

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

OKAY,
I'LL SEE YOU IN A MONTH.

ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
THE BIG PROBLEM IS THAT ALICIA

IS STILL USING FOOD TO DEAL
WITH STRESS AND FOR COMFORT

AND IS SHOWING NO WILLINGNESS

TO GIVE THAT UP
OR CHANGE THAT DYNAMIC.

AND IF SHE DOESN'T START
TO CHANGE THAT

OVER THIS NEXT MONTH,

THEN THERE MAY NOT BE
MUCH MORE WE CAN DO FOR HER.

SO IT'S ALL COMPLETELY
IN HER HANDS RIGHT NOW.

**

Alicia: AT THIS TIME, I AM NOT
APPROVED FOR SURGERY.

I'M SO SCARED
OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN

IF I DON'T REACH THE GOAL.

HOW MANY CHANCES
WILL DR. NOW GIVE ME?

HOW MANY CHANCES
WILL TIM GIVE ME?

**

AND IF I CAN'T LOSE THE WEIGHT,
HOW MUCH TIME DO I HAVE LEFT?

**

FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS,

I REALLY THOUGHT
I HAD BEEN EATING RIGHT,

BUT I HAVEN'T LOST THE WEIGHT
DR. NOW WANTS.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

SO I'M EXCITED TO MEET
THE DIETITIAN TODAY

AND HOPEFULLY FINALLY
GET ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

**

-HI!
-HI. HOW ARE YOU?

-I'M ROXANNE.
-I'M ALICIA.

-NICE TO MEET YOU.
-IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU/

I'VE BEEN LOOK FORWARD
TO MEETING YOU

AND TALKING WITH YOU.

ME TOO.
COME ON IN.

THANK YOU.

YOU JUST WANT TO COME...

**

SO I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HAVING
SOME QUESTIONS

ABOUT YOUR DIET
OR SOME PROBLEMS.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE GOING ON?

I FEEL LIKE, FOR ME, THE HARDEST
PART IS PORTION SIZES

AND JUST REALLY
UNDERSTANDING

WHAT EXACTLY
A 1,200-CALORIE DIET

WOULD REALLY LOOK LIKE.

I JUST THINK THAT WE NEED TO
EDUCATE YOU ON WHAT IS 4 OUNCES,

AND WHAT IS THIS, AND HOW DO
I PLACE THIS MEAL TOGETHER,

AND YOU WANT IT
TO TASTE GOOD

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT
TO FEEL DEPRIVED.

SO WHY DON'T WE GO LOOK AND SEE
WHAT'S INSIDE THE FRIDGE?

ALL RIGHT.
SOUNDS GOOD.

**

SO LET'S SEE WHAT
WE HAVE IN HERE.

**

SOME OF THE DEFINITE THINGS
WE NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM --

MAYONNAISE,
CALORIES IS 100,

CALORIES FROM FAT IS 100.

-SO THIS IS JUST...
-ALL FAT.

...DEFINITELY NOT
A GOOD CHOICE.

SO THIS IS NOT GOOD.
OKAY.

SO SHOW ME SOME OF THE THINGS
THAT YOU TEND TO USE

THROUGHOUT THE DAY FOR
YOUR SEASONINGS OR WHATEVER.

OKAY.
I DO HAVE SOME DRESSINGS.

I HAVE A LIGHT
NORTHERN ITALIAN.

OKAY, SO THE CALORIES IS 45,
BUT THE CALORIES FROM FAT IS 40,

SO THIS IS ABOUT 100% FAT.
YEAH.

SO EVEN THOUGH
IT SAYS LIGHT,

THAT DOES NOT MEAN
IT IS LOW-FAT.

AND WE WANT TO TRY
TO CONSUME FOODS

THAT ARE ONLY
20% FAT OR LESS,

SO THIS IS SOMETHING
WE WANT TO NOT USE.

OKAY, SO NOW LET'S GRAB
MEASURING CUPS, TUPPERWARE,

AND LET'S FIGURE OUT
HOW TO DIVIDE THE PORTIONS.

ALL RIGHT.

CLOSE THIS UP.

I HAVE TO START CHANGING
THE FOODS I EAT,

BUT I KNOW IT'S ALSO ABOUT
HOW MUCH I EAT, AS WELL.

PERFECT.

RIGHT NOW, YOU CAN DO
3 TO 4 OUNCES OF PROTEIN.

4 OUNCES IS LIKE A HALF A CUP,
SO WHAT YOU COULD DO

IS JUST PUT IT INTO
THE LITTLE DISH.

I DON'T MIND -- YOU KNOW,
JUST KIND OF FILL IT UP.

IT'S ALMOST 4 OUNCES.

AND THEN WHEN YOU
DUMP IT IN HERE,

YOU CAN KIND OF START SEEING
WHAT 4 OUNCES WOULD BE.

-OKAY.
-YOU CAN EYEBALL IT.

IF THIS WAS FILLED UP, THEN YOU
KNOW THAT'S LIKE TWO SERVINGS.

I THINK THAT'S GOING TO BE
GOOD INFORMATION

TO HELP YOU GET
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE.

THIS WAS A LOT TO TAKE IN.

I DIDN'T REALIZE ALL THE THINGS
THAT ARE REALLY BAD FOR ME...

-THANK YOU.
-BYE.

...AND JUST HOW MANY EXTRA
CALORIES THEY ADD TO MY DIET.

IT'S ALL GOOD
INFORMATION, REALLY,

BUT KNOWING AND DOING
ARE COMPLETELY SEPARATE THINGS.

SO I'M HOPING THAT I'M ABLE TO
TAKE WHAT I'VE LEARNED TODAY

AND APPLY IT LIKE I NEED

BECAUSE I KNOW I'M DOWN
TO MY LAST CHANCE WITH DR. NOW,

AND IT'S EXTREMELY
IMPORTANT I DO THIS

AND GET TO WHERE I NEED
BY MY NEXT DOCTOR VISIT

BECAUSE I NEED
TO GET THIS SURGERY.

AND IF I LOSE
MY CHANCE FOR THAT,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO.

**

**

Alicia: WE'RE HEADED TO
DR. NOW'S OFFICE FOR A CHECKUP,

AND I'M HOPING
THAT TODAY IS THE DAY

I FINALLY GET APPROVED
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

I'M ANXIOUS BECAUSE EVERY TIME
I'VE SEEN DR. NOW,

I'VE LOST WEIGHT BUT NEVER
AS MUCH AS HE WANTED ME TO.

I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING
THE NUTRITIONIST'S ADVICE

AND REALLY WATCHING
MY PORTION SIZES.

MY WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL FOR THIS
PAST MONTH WAS 45 POUNDS.

ALICIA KIRGAN.

Alicia: SO I'M REALLY HOPING
I AM BELOW 545

LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE,

BECAUSE IF I DON'T
MEET THE GOAL TODAY,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO.

AND I'M TERRIFIED
THAT EVERYTHING I'VE DONE

AND EVERYTHING TIM HAS
SACRIFICED TO HELP ME

WILL BE FOR NOTHING.

**

NICE JOB.

THAT'S REALLY EXCITING.

**

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I FINALLY DID IT.

IT FEELS SO GOOD
TO FINALLY MEET THE GOAL

THAT DR. NOW SET FOR ME.

I FEEL LIKE I HAD
A REALLY GOOD WEIGHT LOSS,

AND I'M JUST EXCITED TO SEE
WHAT HE HAS TO SAY,

AND I JUST HOPE THAT
THIS IS FINALLY ENOUGH

TO GET ME APPROVED FOR SURGERY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN.

HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

GOOD, DOING GOOD,
JUST TRYING TO STAY ON TRACK.

ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU'RE DOWN TO 538 TODAY.

MM-HMM.

YOU FINALLY MET A GOAL AND LOST
SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF WEIGHT.

YES.

SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE
BETTER CONTROL

OF YOUR EATING HABITS
RIGHT NOW?

-YES.
-OKAY.

GOOD, BUT WE STILL HAVE
A LOT OF HARD WORK AHEAD OF US,

BUT YOU'VE SHOWN ME
A WILLINGNESS

TO DO SOME
OF THAT HARD WORK,

SO I'M APPROVING YOU
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY TODAY.

-OKAY.
-CONGRATULATIONS.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

THANK YOU.

IT'S TAKEN HER A LITTLE WHILE,

BUT ALICIA HAS FINALLY
TAKEN SOME RESPONSIBILITY

AND REFRAINING FROM GIVING IN
TO HER EMOTIONS.

I'M HAPPY TO SEE
THE PROGRESS SHE'S MAKING,

AND I'M HOPEFUL SHE FINALLY IS
HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

OKAY. WE'LL GET YOU IN SCHEDULE
FOR THE NEXT MONTH.

OKAY.

AND IN THE MEANTIME,
I WANT YOU TO KEEP AT IT,

BECAUSE IF YOU GAIN
BEFORE THEN,

WE WON'T MOVE AHEAD
FOR YOUR SURGERY,

SO STICK WITH IT, OKAY?

-OKAY.
-GREAT JOB.

I'LL SEE YOU BOTH SOON.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

-OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
-HEY, THANK YOU, DOC.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANK YOU.

**

-NICE JOB, BABE.
-THANKS, BABE.

-YOU'VE WORKED REALLY HARD.
-THANKS.

I'M TELLING YOU,
I'M REALLY IMPRESSED.

YOU'RE TOUGHER THAN WHAT
I KNEW THAT YOU WERE.

-THANKS, BABE.
-YOU KNOW?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS
IS FINALLY HAPPENING.

I'M REALLY EXCITED,
BUT IT WOULD BE A LIE TO SAY

THAT THERE'S NOT
A LITTLE FEAR THAT,

OH, MY GOSH, THIS IS
REALLY HAPPENING NOW,

BUT THIS IS WHAT I NEED,

AND THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE BEST THING FOR ME

BECAUSE IT MEANS THE OPPORTUNITY

TO REALLY START
TO BE ABLE TO LIVE LIFE.

**

**

TODAY, I'M IN THE HOSPITAL,
AND I AM GETTING READY

TO HAVE THE GASTRIC SLEEVE
PROCEDURE.

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR,

AND THIS IS WHAT
I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR,

AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.

I AM EXCITED,
BUT I'M SCARED, TOO.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

-HI, BABE.
-OH, YOU MADE IT.

WE MADE IT.

**

FEEL ALL RIGHT
RIGHT NOW.

EVERYBODY'S BEEN ASKING
ABOUT YOU, PRAYING FOR YOU.

YEAH.

TELL EVERYBODY I LOVE THEM
AND THANK YOU.

Allen: IT'LL BE OKAY.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Alicia: I LOVE YOU.
THANK YOU.

Alicia: I'M GRATEFUL THAT TIM
IS HERE BY MY SIDE

AND THAT MY PARENTS HAVE MADE
THE JOURNEY DOWN TO TEXAS

TO BE HERE FOR THE SURGERY.

LOVE YOU.

IT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

FOR WHAT I'M ABOUT
TO GO THROUGH.

OKAY, BABE.
I LOVE YOU.

-I LOVE YOU.
-OKAY.

DON'T WORRY.

OKAY.

WITH ANY SURGERY,
THERE'S DEFINITELY ALWAYS RISKS,

AND WITH MY SIZE, THE RISKS
ARE EVEN THAT MUCH GREATER,

AND AFTER THEY PUT ME UNDER,

I KNOW THERE IS
A REAL POSSIBILITY

THAT I WON'T WAKE UP AGAIN,

AND AS FRIGHTENING AS THAT IS,
WITH THIS SURGERY,

AT LEAST THERE'S
A FIGHTING CHANCE

BECAUSE IF I STAY THE WAY
I'VE BEEN LIVING,

THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: ALICIA HAS
DONE WELL THIS PAST MONTH

AND LOST ANOTHER 26 POUNDS,

SO WE'LL BE PERFORMING A SLEEVE
GASTRECTOMY ON HER TODAY.

**

THIS OPERATION IS VERY HIGH-RISK
BECAUSE OF ALICIA'S WEIGHT.

**

BUT MOST OF ALICIA'S WEIGHT
IS CARRIED AROUND HER STOMACH.

WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.

AND THAT WILL MAKE IT
VERY DIFFICULT

TO MANEUVER THE INSTRUMENTS,

SO IF THIS SLOWS US DOWN
TOO MUCH,

WE'LL HAVE TO CALL OFF
THE SURGERY...

HOLD THE FAT.
HOLD THE FAT.

...BECAUSE THE RISK OF CARDIAC
ARREST OR OTHER COMPLICATIONS

IS GREATER THE LONGER WE ALLOW

FOR THE STRAIN
OF ANESTHESIA ON HER BODY,

BUT IF WE ARE ABLE TO
PERFORM THE SURGERY TODAY,

THIS OPERATION WILL HELP HER
TO CONTINUE TO LOSE WEIGHT.

**

Tim: IT'S REALLY HARD TO JUST
SIT AROUND AND WAIT

WHILE A LOVED ONE
IS GOING UNDER THE KNIFE.

I KNOW THAT ANYTIME YOU'RE
UNDER ANESTHESIA

THAT BAD THINGS COULD HAPPEN.

I'M MOST SCARED AND NERVOUS
ABOUT LOSING ALICIA,

SO I'M HOPING THAT
EVERYTHING TURNS OUT GREAT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: LITTLE BIT MORE,
LITTLE BIT MORE.

-UH-HUH.
-OKAY.

-JUST LEAVE IT THERE.
-ALL RIGHT.

A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY
IS AN OPERATION.

WE REMOVE 80% TO 90% OF STOMACH.

ONE MORE WILL DO.

AFTER THE SURGERY, PATIENT
CAN GET FULL REALLY QUICK.

ALSO, THERE IS A CHANGE
IN THE METABOLISM AND HORMONE

THAT MAKE THEM LESS HUNGRY,

AND THEIR FOOD DESIRE
WILL DIMINISH.

ROOM LIGHT BACK ON.

THIS WILL HELP THEM
TO LOSE WEIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE DONE.

ALL RIGHT.

ALICIA'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.

THE SIZE OF HER STOMACH
MADE IT DIFFICULT TO OPERATE,

BUT WE WERE ABLE TO COMPLETE
THE SLEEVE PROCEDURE,

AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO
GET HER TO RECOVERY,

AND SHE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO LOSE 30 TO 40 POUNDS

IN THE FIRST MONTH,

BUT THE HARD WORK FOR ALICIA
STARTS NOW

BECAUSE IF SHE TRIES TO OVEREAT
TOO SOON AFTER SURGERY,

SHE COULD SERIOUSLY
HURT HERSELF,

SO WE NEED TO KEEP
A CLOSE EYE ON HER.

**

**

Alicia: SINCE SURGERY,
HAD SOME TOUGH DAYS.

I'VE BEEN ON
A CLEAR-LIQUID DIET,

WHICH IS BASICALLY JUST
RAW SUGAR-FREE POPSICLES

AND SUGAR-FREE JELL-O.

I HAVE TO BE ON THAT FOR A WEEK
OUTSIDE OF SURGERY.

AFTER THAT, I CAN MOVE TO,
LIKE, THICKER, FULL LIQUIDS,

THEN PUREED FOODS

BEFORE I CAN FINALLY START
TO HAVE REGULAR FOOD.

HEY, BABE!

Tim: YEAH?

CAN YOU HELP ME
GET THIS BROTH DOWN?

YEAH.

THANK YOU.

I THINK THE BIGGEST SHOCK
FOR ME AFTER SURGERY

IS THE FACT THAT
I REALLY HAVE NO APPETITE.

I THOUGHT THERE'D BE
A LOT MORE DESIRE

TO HAVE WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE
IS HAVING.

IT'S ALL THE WAY
UP THERE.

ALL RIGHT, SHORTY.

I HAD A LOT OF CONCERNS LIKE,
"GOD, I'M GOING TO BE

ON THIS LIQUID DIET
FOR SO LONG."

BABE, ARE YOU HUNGRY AT ALL?

YOU WANT A SNACK
OR SOMETHING?

YEAH, I'LL PROBABLY JUST EAT
A LITTLE BAG OF CHIPS.

AND MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN
FOCUSED ON FOOD

AND WHAT I WANT TO EAT
AND WHAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME,

AND NOW IT'S REALLY NOT ABOUT,
LIKE, WHAT SOUNDS GOOD.

IT'S JUST EATING JUST WHAT
YOU NEED TO LIVE,

WHICH IS SO, SO NEW.

HERE YOU GO.

WHAT YOU GIVING ME?
YOUR...

[ LAUGHS ]
JUST KIDDING.

THERE YOU GO.

**

I KNOW THAT AT SOME POINT
THERE'S GOING TO COME A TIME

WHERE I'M GOING TO MISS FOOD.

**

SO WHEN THE CRAVINGS COME,
I JUST NEED TO BE PREPARED

TO DO WHAT IT TAKES
TO DEAL WITH THEM.

**

AND I JUST NEED TO BE READY.

I HAVE TO STICK WITH THIS
AND MAKE THIS WORK

IF I WANT TO SAVE MY LIFE.

**

**

IT'S BEEN A COUPLE MONTHS
SINCE MY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

AND I'M STILL MAKING PROGRESS,

BUT MY CRAVINGS HAVE BEEN
STARTING TO COME BACK,

AND LATELY, IT'S BECOME
A REAL STRUGGLE WITH ME.

HI, BABY.

HI, BABE.

AND THE TEMPTATION
TO TRY AND OVEREAT

HAS BEEN THE WORST
AFTER I TALKED TO MY MOTHER,

SO I REALIZED SHE'S
ONE OF MY TRIGGERS,

AND I SHARED THAT WITH TIM.

SO HE THINKS NOW THAT I NEED
TO TALK TO MY MOM ABOUT IT,

SO HE'S BEEN PUSHING ME
TO DO THAT CONSTANTLY,

BUT I'M NOT AT THAT POINT YET,

AND I DON'T THINK
IT'S NECESSARY.

BABE, I WONDERED
HOW YOU WERE FEELING NOW,

AND YOU HAVEN'T
TALKED TO ME

ABOUT ANYTHING THAT'S
BEEN BOTHERING YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT
EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT SHOWING IT.

I MEAN, I DEFINITELY
HAVE CONCERNS.

ANY EMOTION, FOR ME,
IS A TRIGGER TO WANT TO EAT.

IT'S JUST ABOUT FINDING
DIFFERENT WAYS TO DEAL WITH IT

AND TO COPE WITHOUT
NEEDING FOOD.

FOOD WAS MY COMFORT AND MY
GO-TO, WHAT HELPED TO NUMB ME,

AND I THINK THAT, LIKE, THE
BEST WAY TO TRY TO DESCRIBE IT

FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE
ISSUES WITH FOOD TO UNDERSTAND

IS JUST THAT IF YOU THINK
OF, LIKE, A DRUG ADDICT.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, IT'S LIKE
I LOST A BEST FRIEND,

BUT I STILL HAVE TO DEAL
WITH IT EVERY DAY.

I HAVE TO, LIKE,
STILL OBSESS ABOUT FOOD.

Tim: ALICIA HAS BEEN A MASTER
AT HIDING HER EMOTIONS

ALL HER LIFE,

BUT NOW,
AFTER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

SHE HAS TO DEAL
WITH THOSE EMOTIONS.

FOOD WAS ALICIA'S DRUG,
AND I CAN RELATE WITH THAT

BECAUSE I'VE HAD ADDICTIONS
OF MY OWN THROUGHOUT MY LIFE.

WHAT SHE'S GOING TO
HAVE TO WORK THROUGH

IS FIXING THOSE ROOT CAUSES,

THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU
GO TO YOUR COMFORT ZONE

OR TO NUMB YOURSELF.

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE ABLE
TO DEAL WITH, YOU KNOW,

THE INNER EMOTIONS
THAT CAUSE THAT ROOT PROBLEM

THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU TURN
TO THE COMFORT OF FOOD.

A REAL GOOD FIRST STEP
WOULD BE TO HAVE

AN HONEST CONVERSATION
WITH YOUR MOM.

TRYING TO BLAME HER OR SAY
THAT THE THINGS THAT SHE DOES

IS WHAT MAKES ME DO THAT IS NOT
FAIR AND IS ALSO NOT CORRECT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY
THAT IT MAKES YOU DO IT.

YOU CAN SAY
THAT IT'S DANGEROUS.

Alicia: IT'S ALWAYS HARD
TO TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY.

I DON'T THINK THAT IT'S ALWAYS
NECESSARILY AS BLACK AND WHITE

AS HE, LIKE, WANTS IT TO BE.

JUST TELL HER
WHAT YOU NEED FROM HER.

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

NO, NO, IT'S NOT,
BUT YOU CAN TELL HER THAT,

"THIS IS BIG FOR ME."

I GET WHAT TIM IS SAYING,
AND I DON'T DISAGREE.

I'M JUST NOT READY TO DO IT,
SO I'M NOT DOING IT,

EVEN IF IT MEANS
MY WEIGHT LOSS WILL SLOW.

**

**

THIS PAST MONTH,
THINGS HAVE GOTTEN HARDER.

I KNOW I'VE BEEN RUNNING
TO FOOD MORE

AND GIVING IN TO
MY CRAVINGS SOME.

SO I DECIDED TO DO WHAT TIM
HAS BEEN ENCOURAGING ME TO DO.

SO I'M GOING TO TRAVEL
BACK HOME TO SEE MY MOM.

**

HI, BABY.

-ABOUT READY?
-YEAH.

IS THIS EVERYTHING?

YEAH.

I THINK I'M READY TO DO
THIS PHYSICALLY

WITH ALL THE WEIGHT I'VE LOST,

BUT I'M JUST NOT SURE
I'M READY EMOTIONALLY,

BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO DO THIS.

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT
STEP IN HEALING

AND BEING ABLE TO REALLY
OVERCOME THE ISSUES

THAT DROVE ME TO MY WEIGHT GAIN.

I THINK, YOU KNOW, REALLY,

WHAT I JUST WANT TO TALK
TO MY MOM ABOUT

IS JUST THAT FEELING
OF NOT FEELING LIKE

I WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER.

I WASN'T THE IMAGE OF PERFECTION
THAT SHE MAY HAVE WANTED.

I JUST THINK, YOU KNOW,
GROWING UP,

SHE REALLY FOCUSED ON MY WEIGHT

AND MAKING SURE, LIKE,
SHE WANTED ME TO LOSE THE WEIGHT

AND, LIKE, WHAT CAN WE DO
TO LOSE THE WEIGHT

INSTEAD OF IT BEING
REALLY JUST ABOUT ME

AND WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME,

SO THAT KIND OF ALWAYS
MADE ME FEEL LIKE,

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT,
I JUST WASN'T REALLY ENOUGH.

**

MOVING AWAY?

LOOKS LIKE IT.
I'M GOING TO SIT ON THAT.

OKAY.

**

I JUST HOPE THAT MY MOM
IS WILLING TO LISTEN TO ME

SO I CAN START TO GET PAST SOME
OF THE ISSUES THAT LED ME HERE.

OKAY, BABY.

LOVE YOU.
DRIVE CAREFUL.

I WILL.
MISS YOU.

I HAVE TO DO THIS AND FIGHT
TO TRY AND GET BACK ON TRACK

BEFORE I MESS IT ALL UP

AND LOSE MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH TIM.

**

**

**

Alicia:
IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG DRIVE,

BUT I'M FEELING GOOD PHYSICALLY,

WHICH IS A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

AS I'M GETTING CLOSER
TO MY MOM'S HOUSE,

I'M FEELING NERVOUS.

EVER SINCE I WAS A KID,
I FELT LIKE MY WEIGHT

WAS WHAT MATTERED MORE
THAN ANYTHING ELSE TO HER.

I KNOW MY MOM WAS DOING
THE BEST SHE COULD,

BUT I NEVER REALLY
COULD TELL HER

HOW MUCH IT HURT ME AS A CHILD.

I WAS STILL A KID.

I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO SAY
ANY OF THAT,

AND MY MOM MIGHT BE A LITTLE
HURT BY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY,

BUT I HOPE, IN THE END,
THIS BRINGS US CLOSER.

-HEY.
-HI.

-YOU MADE IT.
-HOW'S IT GOING?

GOOD, HONEY.
HOW YOU DOING?

GOOD.
LONG TRIP.

I KNOW.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

OH, OKAY.

-WHERE'S TIM?
-HE HAD TO WORK.

OKAY.

I'M MAKING SOME TEA
FOR US.

OH, NICE.
DO YOU NEED HELP?

NO, GO SIT DOWN.
WANT TO MOVE THAT BAG?

I'LL GET IT.

-HERE YOU GO.
-THANK YOU.

IT'S HOT.

PERFECT.

SO TELL ME,
HOW DO YOU FEEL?

FEEL GOOD.

SURGERY DEFINITELY HAS HELPED
KIND OF KEEP ME IN LINE

AND KEEP
THE WEIGHT LOSS GOING.

PHYSICALLY WHAT YOU EAT
AS MUCH?

YEAH.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
SINCE SURGERY,

JUST REALLY BEEN
KIND OF REFLECTING

ON A LOT
OF DIFFERENT STUFF

AND THINKING ABOUT THINGS
AND, LIKE, MY CHILDHOOD

AND REALLY TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT,

LIKE, KIND OF, LIKE, WHEN THE
WEIGHT STARTED COMING ON

AND, LIKE, WHAT I FELT
LIKE MAYBE THAT WAS FROM.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, AND I KNOW
THAT YOU ALWAYS TRIED,

YOU KNOW, TO DO YOUR BEST,

BUT I DEFINITELY HAD
SOME FEELINGS, LIKE,

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER THAT,
LIKE, I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE WEIGHT,
YOU KNOW,

THAT UNLESS I WAS,
YOU KNOW, LIKE, SKINNY,

THEN I DIDN'T MATTER AS MUCH
OR I WASN'T AS IMPORTANT.

I FELT LIKE WAS I WAS KIND OF,
LIKE, THE DISAPPOINTMENT.

NO, I ALWAYS WANTED
YOU TO BE HAPPY.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE OVERWEIGHT,

AND I JUST WANTED
YOU TO BE HEALTHY

AND DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO HELP YOU.

I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

YOU KNOW, WE TRIED
DIFFERENT THINGS

AND JUST COULDN'T
KEEP IT OFF.

JUST FELT LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
ALL THE STUFF YOU TRIED,

IT FELT LIKE IT WAS,
LIKE, FOR YOU,

LIKE YOU WANTED ME
TO BE SKINNY

SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE TO HEAR IT

FROM OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT, LIKE,
WHAT KIND OF PARENT YOU WERE

BECAUSE I WAS SO HEAVY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU
FEEL THAT WAY.

THERE WERE
DEFINITELY THINGS

THAT MADE ME LOOK AT MYSELF
DIFFERENTLY, MY SELF-WORTH,

AND THAT WAS HARD FOR ME,
YOU KNOW, AS A KID,

NOT REALLY, LIKE,
UNDERSTANDING.

AND I KNOW THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING YOU DO AS A PARENT

IS TO MAKE YOUR CHILD
CONFIDENT,

AND I'M SORRY
I DIDN'T DO THAT FOR YOU.

I WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY
MORE THAN ANYTHING.

YOU KNOW, I LOVE YOU.

I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE
IT'S NOT CONDITIONAL ON,

LIKE, YOU KNOW,
WHAT SIZE I AM,

THAT JUST, NO MATTER
IF I FAIL OR IF I SUCCEED,

I JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU
LOVE ME AND THAT YOU'RE HERE.

I DO ALWAYS LOVE YOU
NO MATTER WHAT.

I AM PROUD OF YOU.

THANKS, MOM.

I'M SORRY.

**

I'M GLAD I DID THIS.

SHE TOOK IT REALLY WELL,

AND I'M THANKFUL THAT MY MOM
WAS WILLING TO LISTEN.

I KNOW THAT IT WAS HARD FOR HER
TO HAVE TO HEAR AND TAKE IN,

BUT I THINK THIS IS GOING TO
HELP MY MOM AND I GROW CLOSER,

SO TODAY WAS A REALLY GOOD DAY.

**

LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE
FLOWERS COMING UP.

MM-HMM.

EVER SINCE TALKING TO MY MOM,

I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN DOING BETTER.

I'VE BEEN ABLE TO START
TO CONTROL MY CRAVINGS

A LITTLE MORE.

I STILL HAVE MY BAD DAYS
WHERE I GIVE IN,

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS STARTING
TO DO A COUPLE MONTHS AGO,

AND I'M EXERCISING MORE,
AND TIM'S BEEN GOING WITH ME.

WE HAD A TALK,
AND WHAT WE REALIZED

WAS THAT OUR ONLY TIME
TOGETHER WAS DINNER,

AND THEN WE JUST SAT AND WATCHED
TV UNTIL WE FELL ASLEEP,

SO HE'S MAKING IT A POINT
TO TAKE OFF WORK

A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK TO GO TO
THE PARK AND EXERCISE WITH ME,

AND IT'S NOT ONLY
HELPING ME STAY ON TRACK,

BUT IT'S HELPING US
GROW CLOSER TOGETHER.

I THINK ALICIA IS DOING
REALLY WELL SINCE THE SURGERY.

THERE'S NO WAY A YEAR AGO

THAT ALICIA COULD'VE DID
WHAT WE DID TODAY,

WALKING THROUGH THE PARK,

AND SHE WOULDN'T HAVE
EVEN ATTEMPTED IT.

IT'S JUST UNREAL TO SEE
ALICIA PUSH HERSELF.

IT'S JUST NEW, BRAND-NEW.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOD JOB.

Alicia: I'M FEELING REALLY
GOOD RIGHT NOW.

I JUST HOPE MY PROGRESS
IS AS MUCH AS I FEEL IT IS

BECAUSE I SEE DR. NOW AGAIN
FOR MY NEXT APPOINTMENT SOON,

AND I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

IF I'M NOT BACK ON TRACK,

THEN I'M GOING TO BE
REALLY DISCOURAGED,

SO I JUST HOPE I'M LOSING LIKE
I WAS RIGHT AFTER THE SURGERY

BECAUSE, IF I'M NOT, THEN I
DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

**

**

EVER SINCE TALKING TO MY MOM,

I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN DOING BETTER,

BUT I'M NERVOUS TO STEP
ON THAT SCALE TODAY.

AND IF I'M NOT
MAKING MUCH PROGRESS...

**

...IT'S GOING TO BE
PRETTY DEVASTATING TO ME.

AND MY FEAR IS THAT IT'S ALL
OUT OF MY CONTROL AGAIN.

AND THERE'S NOTHING
I'LL BE ABLE TO DO TO FIX IT.

**

**

**

Alicia: I'M NERVOUS ABOUT
MY WEIGH-IN TODAY.

I JUST HOPE MY PROGRESS
IS AS MUCH AS I FEEL IT IS,

BUT YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW
UNTIL YOU GET ON THAT SCALE.

Woman: 452.

-ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
-YEAH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY.
COME WITH ME.

I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS LOW
IN A LONG TIME,

AND I'M JUST BEYOND EXCITED,

AND IT REALLY FEELS LIKE THIS
IS THE START OF MY NEW LIFE.

**

-HELLO.
-HELLO.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING?
-DOING GOOD.

HOW ARE YOU?

I AM DOING WELL, TOO.

SO, ALICIA, TODAY,
YOU'RE DOWN TO 452,

AND THIS IS TOTAL OF
170-POUND WEIGHT LOSS.

-HOW DO YOU FEEL?
-INCREDIBLE.

IT'S HARD TO EVEN PUT INTO WORDS
THE DIFFERENCE THAT I FEEL NOW.

WELL, I'M PROUD OF YOU.

IF YOU STICK WITH IT,

THEN YOU'LL BE READY
FOR SKIN REMOVAL SOON.

WOW.

AND THEN WE'LL HAVE YOU
CLOSE TO YOUR TARGET WEIGHT

AND AROUND 150 POUNDS.

WOW.

AND, TIM, YOU'RE SUPPORTING
HER LIKE SHE NEEDS,

SO I'M PROUD OF YOU BOTH.

GOOD WORK,
AND I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

-SEE Y'ALL LATER.
-HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.

YOU TOO.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: ALICIA DIDN'T
HAVE THE BEST START.

IT TOOK HER A LITTLE WHILE
TO GET COMMITTED,

BUT WHEN SHE DID, SHE WORKED
HARD AND STUCK WITH IT

AND HASN'T BEEN AFRAID TO DEAL
WITH THE ISSUES SHE NEED.

SHE STILL HAS A WAYS TO GO,
BUT RIGHT NOW,

I'M VERY HAPPY WITH HER PROGRESS

AND HOW SHE AND TIM ARE DOING

AND FEEL CONFIDENT

WE CAN GET HER TO HER
TARGET WEIGHT THIS NEXT YEAR.

**

**

YOU LOOK GOOD.
YOU LOOK GOOD WITH THAT, TOO.

MM, THANK YOU.

FEEL VERY HOLLYWOOD.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

VERY GLAMOROUS.

MM-HMM.

-READY?
-YEAH.

Alicia: TODAY, TIM AND I
ARE GOING ON A DATE.

YEAH.

WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT MORE
TOGETHER AND DOING A LOT MORE,

AND IT'S BEEN FUN.

I FEEL CLOSER TO TIM THAN I HAVE
SINCE WE FIRST STARTED DATING.

I'LL GET THE DOOR
FOR YOU, BEAUTIFUL.

OH, THANK YOU.

DR. NOW SAYS I SHOULD BE READY
FOR SKIN REMOVAL

IN A COUPLE MONTHS,

AND THAT COULD TAKE OFF
AS MUCH AS 40 POUNDS,

SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

MY FUTURE AND TIM'S FUTURE
ARE SO MUCH BRIGHTER NOW,

AND I'M THANKFUL
FOR THE PAST YEAR

AND FOR ALL THE WAYS MY LIFE
HAS CHANGED FOR THE BETTER,

AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
THERE'S NO GOING BACK.

WE'RE HEADED
TO MARKET SQUARE PARK

TO ENJOY SOME OF THE LIGHTS
THAT THEY HAVE DISPLAYED

AND ENJOY A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT
WITH MY SWEETHEART.

-ISN'T THAT A SPOT?
-MM-HMM.

**

THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.

**

IF I HAD KEPT GOING DOWN
THE ROAD

OF SELF-DESTRUCTION
THAT I WAS ON,

I REALLY THINK
I WOULD'VE LOST TIM.

I WAS LETTING MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH TIM

CONTINUE TO BE OVERSHADOWED
BY MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD,

BUT THE TRUTH IS,
TIM HAS BEEN BY MY SIDE

SUPPORTING ME THIS ENTIRE TIME.

WANT TO GET A PICTURE OF ME
SMELLING THE ROSES?

SURE.

[ LAUGHS ]

**

I'VE REALLY LEARNED TO VALUE THE
TIME I GET TO SPEND WITH HIM,

AND THE FACT THAT IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO REVOLVE AROUND FOOD

OR STAYING AT HOME
IS REFRESHING.

RIGHT THERE.

I KNOW THERE ARE MORE EMOTIONAL
ISSUES THAT WILL COME UP,

BUT I'M COMMITTED
TO DEAL WITH THOSE

AND NOT RUN FROM THEM.

NICE.

OH, MAN, THAT'S A GREAT
PICTURE, ISN'T IT?

I'M DEDICATED TO HITTING MY GOAL

AND HAVING THE LIFE ME AND TIM
DESERVE AND HAVE WANTED,

AND MAYBE SOMEDAY SOON,

WE CAN FINALLY
WALK DOWN THE AISLE

AND THAT WE'LL BOTH
BE READY FOR THAT

BECAUSE WE'RE IN A BETTER PLACE.

WOULD YOU LIKE
SOMETHING HOT TO DRINK?

-YEAH.
-HOT TEA OR SOMETHING?

WHAT DO I GET?

I'D LOVE IF YOU'D SEE
IF THEY HAVE, LIKE,

A SUGAR-FREE
HOT CHOCOLATE.

-OKAY.
-YEAH.

-YEAH. OKAY.
-THANK YOU.

YEP.

I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE NOW,

AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE LIFE
I HAVE AHEAD OF ME,

AND I'M NOT LETTING
ANYTHING STOP ME

OR GET IN MY WAY OF GETTING
TO WHERE I NEED TO BE.

**

OH, THANK YOU, BABE.

YEAH.

YOU FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN, LIKE, A
BETTER PLACE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP

THAN A YEAR AGO?

NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT.

I FEEL THAT, BUT I JUST
WONDERED IF YOU DID, TOO.

WE'VE COME THIS FAR
THIS YEAR.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHERE WE ARE NEXT YEAR,

KEEP GROWING
AND BUILDING TOGETHER.

ALL I KNOW, BABE, IS I'M HERE
FOR YOU FOR LIFELONG,

AND WE'LL COMMIT TO EACH OTHER
IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY ONE DAY

AND MAKE SURE THE NEW YOU
CAN STILL LOVE THE OLD ME.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.